Advice and Trust
by Panther2G
Summary: Shinji takes just the slightest different action when Asuka offers a kiss... and everything changes. Suddenly, they're no longer alone, and begin becoming stronger than they've ever been before. And from their new bond changes start to ripple out. The Angel War and the plans of SEELE and NERV will never be the same.
1. Prologue - Where We Are Now

A full moon shone down on Lake Ashi, making Tokyo-3 glow in the warm autumn night. In the smallest bedroom of an apartment in a mostly empty building, an old SDAT tape player sat on the desk in a beam of moonlight, gathering dust in the silence. In the living room, dinner was over and the table cleared, but the room was still lively, largely by effort of one woman.

"You're such a good kid, Shinji-kun! You bring me beer and make dinner so good." Major Katsu- no, it was after 9PM and seven beers, so it was definitely _Misato_, not Major Katsuragi now, burbled happily at her young roommate. She patted her full belly and sighed. She drained the last of her eighth beer and looked at it suspiciously. "Hmm, out again. Get me another one, please?" She shook the empty can at him for a second before arcing it over her shoulder into the recycling bin without even a look.

Shinji sighed. At least he'd managed to train her that much. When he'd first moved in, he'd spent hours cleaning and collecting the cans that had been haphazardly piled and dumped all over the apartment, including some in places that just made him shake his head in confusion. In the shower, on top of the TV, all over the balcony... in the linen closet? He turned from washing the dishes and retrieved a can of Yebisu from the well-stocked refrigerator. "Here you are, Misato-san."

She grabbed his wrist and used the opportunity to pull him into a sloppy hug, her face buried briefly into his side as she sat at the table. "Such a good boy. Always taking care of us, me and Asuka. Say, where is she? I haven't seen her since I came in."

"She ate before you got here, and went to take a shower. She's still in her room." He looked towards their missing roommate's room for a moment.

Misato's eyes twinkled with mischief, seeing something in his expression. "Oh? Thinking about her in her towel, Shin-chan?"

Shinji reddened. "I wasn't!" He wriggled out of her grasp.

"You were! You totally were! Ha ha ha! Shin-chan's in looo~ve!" Misato giggled.

Muttering something at the floor and hiding his blushing face, Shinji finished up the last of the dishes in the sink. When he turned back from drying his hands, he found Misato staring at him more intently. "W-what is it?"

"You _are_ a good boy, Shinji. And I think you _do_ care about her. So I'm going to help!" Misato smacked her fist into her other palm. She pointed at the other side of the table. "Have a seat! I'm going to give you some helpful relationship adice... avdice... _advice_, on how to deal with women. And I'll tell you some secrets!" She took a deep pull on her beer as he sat down. "Okay! So!" She hiccupped. "Rule number one! 'Women are crazy'!"

Shinji blinked at her. "'Women are crazy'?" he echoed in confusion.

"Yesh! Totally crazy. Nuts. Bonkers. And I know, 'cause I ams one!" Misato nodded sagely. "Rule number two! Asuka is a woman."

"...And therefore she's crazy?"

"Bin~go! You jusht have to keep that in mind and ride it. Like, you think she's just yelling at you alln the time because she'z angry? Nope! She want to you pay attention to her! That's how she says it. Oh yeah, that's rule numnar three! Women aren't going to say everything they say, but you're supposed ta hear it all anyways. And not hear some of the things they do say, becauze they don't really mean them."

"I... what? Does... does that include what you're saying now?" Shinji's confusion only deepened.

"Of course not! Theses are the secrets I'm telling you, not me talking as a woman rights now. 'Sides, it's sweet that you look at me, but you need a girl your age, like her." Shinji blushed again. "Hee hee! I know you do!" She took another sip of beer. "I'm shurpised at you sometimes, Shiin-chan. Me and Ashuka running around in towels and short-shortz, and you still acting all shy. If Kaji spent all his time running around here in nuthin' but a towel, I'd... I'd... mmm... salty..." Misato trailed off, staring happily into space.

The silence stretched on for a while. "Um... Misato-san?"

Misato shook her head. "Er, right! Women! You gotta pay attention to all the things. You are already pretty housebroken, which girls really like once they think about it and settle down. I know I do!" She grinned at him and took another drink. "Rule numner four! Don't never be afraid." She leaned forward, planting her hands on the table, and stared at him carefully. "Tha's an importnant one, Shin-chan. Really listen to tha' one."

Shinji tried, he really tried not to stare at the perfect shot down her cleavage that Misato's position and loose tank top offered him. He lost the struggle. After a long pause, Misato started giggling and snorting at how red his face was turning and sat back. "Cat got yer tongue, Shin-chan? Hee hee! But did you hear me? Tha's a big one."

Shinji gulped and shook his head to clear it. "Bouncy, bouncy..." he mumbled. "Er! Yes! 'Don't be afraid', you said! Or something like that."

Misato nodded, somewhat wobbly. "Tha's right. Bein' 'fraid can stop you cold, and make you mess up a good chance. I was afraid, and ran away from Kaji once. Took eight yearz before I got another chance, eight years of being lonely and missing him, and ifn I'd still been 'fraid, I coulda messed it up again. So don' do tha'!" She polished off the beer. "You and Azuka are young, but I can shee the way you look at her sometimez. And..." She dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper and leaned in closer. "I've sheen the wayz she looks at you sometimes, when she thinkz no one's lookin'. She even smiled once, after I told her your liddle jump into tha' volcano was agains' orders!"

Shinji stared hard at the table and tried not to turn red again. Again, he lost. He mumbled something too quiet for Misato to hear.

Misato smiled at him, patting him on the head before flopping back into her chair. Her head sank into her arms on the table. "So don' be afraid, Shin-chan. Azuka makesh a lot of noise, but she'z a good kid too. You two are a lot alike, you knowz? You don' have nobody, but try so hard to be Pilots... She pushes herself so hard to be the besht, because she doesn' wan' anyone to think she'z useless or weak..." Misato pulled her head up to give him a beady stare. "You be real good to 'er, you hear me? Women are crazy, but we need hugsh and stuff, too. Do nice things. I know!" Misato sat up straight again. "You should make 'er dinner!"

"I make us all dinner every night, Misato-san."

She waved this inconvenient fact away. "I mean make 'er a _special_ dinner! All Yuro... Euroo... _German_ foodz and stuff! Let 'er know it's for 'er! Tha's the kind of thing tha' gets a girl'z attenshun! I'll get Kaji to take me out for the night and give you two time alone!" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at him before slumping back down, her head pillowed in her arms again. "Mmm... make him take me someplace nice 'n private. 'N stay the night."

"I don't know if a dinner is what will get Asuka to stop calling me 'baka-Shinji' all the time."

"I tol' you, don't just lissen to wha' she sayz. Lissen to the thingz she dossen say and stuff..." Misato mumbled into her arms. "'Cuz wimmin 're crazy. Ashuka, me, Rits... erryone... She sayz 'baka-Shinji', I sez 'Shin-chan'... iz all the same. Iz how we say we care... 'cuz we get scared to say it out lou'... Kaji..."

Shinji stood up and walked around to her side of the table, helping her rise. "I know, Misato-san. I know. Let's get you to bed."

She leaned heavily on the young Pilot as they slowly wobbled her towards her bedroom. "Okay... but r'member: crazy."

Shinji rose from tucking Misato into her futon and walked to the door. He stopped and turned in the doorway to look back at his passed-out guardian. She snored peacefully, occasionally mumbling Kaji's name. He shook his head. Who was looking after whom here? "'Women are crazy', huh?" he muttered.

His face froze and his body stiffened in shock as a pair of pale, slender arms snaked around him from behind to embrace him. A warm and very definitely female body pressed itself up against his back and a soft pair of lips nibbled teasingly at the back of his neck. "Mmm, yes, we are. How else would we put up with men?"

Despite himself, he couldn't entirely suppress a groan of happiness, closing his eyes and tilting his head to give her better access. "Nnn... Asuka... the door is still open... she could see us..." His hands still rose to cover hers and squeeze back.

"She is completely dead to the world and you know it, Third Child. Has she noticed a thing about how the two of us have been carrying on for the last two months? We could probably pull off half the Kama Sutra right here and she'd sleep right through it." Her arms loosened enough to let him turn around in her embrace and stare right into her sparkling blue eyes. "Now, are you coming to bed? It's cold and lonely without you, and you promised me I'd never sleep that way again."

Shinji didn't even try to conceal the warm smile that spread across his face. "Asuka, has there been a single night since the first time you kissed me where I have slept anywhere else but right next to you? Of course I'm coming." He closed the door to Misato's room as quietly as he could and let his fingers intertwine with hers as they walked across the living room towards her bedroom. Her hand was tiny and warm in his.

"Well, yes, there's the occasional rare night where our esteemed guardian is _not_ knocked out cold from beer or overwork," Asuka retorted, but without any heat. "I don't like those nights. It's much better when she's tired, full of beer, or Kaji keeps her out late."

"I still manage to sneak over into your room after she falls asleep those times... if you don't sneak into mine first," he pointed out.

Asuka smiled. "I get impatient, you know that. I want my warm baka-Shinji. It's a good think you always get up before anyone else, too. We don't want to get caught, do we?"

Shinji's smile faded a little as they reached her... no, _their_ room. He hadn't slept more than a handful of nights in 'his' bed since the night Asuka had asked him if he wanted to kiss. A night that had spiraled out of all expectations for either of them and become the beginning of a dream more wonderful than anything else he'd ever experienced in his whole life, all because he'd put his arms around her and answered her kiss. "I still feel a little bad hiding us from everyone, Asuka. We can't even go out on a weekend on a normal date or anything, and I'd really like to do that."

She slid the door open and pulled him inside after her. "I know. But if Misato found out, she'd make us stop doing this. 'We're too young!' or some other excuse, like we're not soldiers who could die any day." She pulled her t-shirt, all she wore, over her head and threw it to the side. "And I refuse to even think about that. You know I haven't had a single nightmare I can remember since we started sleeping together? I used to have them almost every night. I could love you for that alone, if nothing else, Shinji. Not that the rest isn't nice, too." She sat on the bed and scooted over to leave him room. "Besides, no one would believe you and me together." She snorted. "Us? In love? Truly, madly, deeply? Never."

"Hikari might, if you told her. And I'm pretty sure Ayanami figured it out in the first few days, given how much she stares at us." He sat down next to her and neatly folded his shirt up after likewise removing it.

"And she hasn't said anything?"

Shinji shrugged. "It's Ayanami. She's not exactly a chatterbox or the school gossip. Who's she going to tell?"

"Mm... still, you should do something nice for her as a thank you, from both of us. If I did it, that'd be even more suspicious."

"You could _try_ doing it yourself. People change. They might accept that." He took her hand with a smile and kissed her fingertips.

She stroked the side of his face after he released her hand. "It's hard enough pretending to everyone that I'm still constantly angry at you and we're still at each other's throats all day long. I prefer to be at your throat this way." She leaned in to nibble and suck gently at his neck. "You're so much more amusingly sensitive there."

He hissed in pleasure. "Eee... gentle! Misato's going to notice I'm using a lot of her concealer one of these days!"

Asuka's lips curled in a smirk. "Good thing she can't see your back, then. Those would be even harder to explain."

"No apology for tearing up my poor back?" He smiled anyway.

Asuka snorted. "Not one bit. I'm marking my territory. You're mine, Third Child. You promised me that the first night." Her arms wrapped around him tightly as they lay down. "'Together, forever and always'."

Shinji pulled the sheet over them, nodding. "Until the end of the world, you and me, against Angels and anything else that tries to hurt us." She pressed herself into his side, purring contentedly. He pressed his face into her hair and inhaled the strawberry-balsam scent of her shampoo. "Love you, Asuka."

"You better, Third. You're stuck with me for good," she murmured happily, squeezing him. "...and I love you, too, baka-Shinji."

In the room across the hall, an old SDAT tape player sat on the desk in a beam of moonlight, gathering dust. It hadn't been touched in two months; retreat and escape from the world were no longer needed.


	2. Ch 1 Snowflakes, Snowballs, & Avalanches

"Hey, Shinji, do you want to kiss?" Asuka tapped her fingers on the table, staring at him from where here head lay in her arms.

He couldn't believe the garbled words were what he'd thought he'd heard, and pulled the SDAT earbuds out. "What?"

"To kiss. A kiss? You've never kissed, right? Then let's do it."

This had to be a trick. Asuka suddenly being nice... more than nice to him? "Why?"

"Because I'm bored."

Definitely a trick. "Because you're _bored?_ But..."

"You don't want to kiss a girl on the anniversary of your mom's death? Afraid she may be watching you from Heaven?" A sly look at him.

"Not really."

"Or are you scared?"

His anger surged. "I'm not scared of a little kiss!"

"You brushed your teeth, right?"

He nodded.

"Then, here I go."

She walked closer to him, halting close enough he could see her pulse jumping as fast as his at her throat. He felt himself blushing as he closed his eyes in anticipation. After nothing happened for a second he cracked his eyes open to find Asuka staring at him from just inches away, her expression unreadable.

"Don't breathe, because it tickles." Slim fingertips pinched his nose shut just before her lips met his.

Shinji's brain and body locked up. _'This is happening! This is really happening!'_ He was afraid to move, afraid to think, afraid to do anything that might wake him up from this dream. He'd say he was afraid to breathe, but that was already covered by her pinching fingers. The beautiful, exotic foreign girl who was literally the subject of more than a few of his fantasies was _kissing_ him. Her soft, soft lips were pressed against his, and it felt _amazing_. His head swam with the dizzying feel of her tongue hesitantly probing at his own, the strawberry-balsam scent of her hair, the warmth of her body so close to his...

...and, unfortunately, oxygen deprivation. He started to feel dizzy a bit more directly than from the sheer hormonal rush accounted for, but the kiss felt so good he didn't want it to ever end. His knees started to buckle. He had to do something! If he collapsed, that would break the kiss!

He desperately reached out for the closest means of support to stay upright: Asuka. His hands haphazardly gained a grip on her hips and lower back, tugging her towards him as he stabilized himself. With a gentle thump, their bodies bumped together.

Shinji was about to let their bodies bounce back apart when he felt her hand leave his nose and come to rest on his shoulder. Her other arm came up to curl around his, her hand pressing against his shoulder blade. Pressing rather firmly, come to think of it. Asuka was definitely not upset with them being up against each other like this. In fact, she was starting to make some very happy noises. Increasingly pleased sounding 'mmms' and such hummed out of her as her tongue's fencing with his suddenly became much more vigorous. Her arm against him tightened.

His own grip reflexively tightened likewise. _'Wait... is she... is she enjoying this as much as I am? More? This... this isn't just kissing because she's bored or wants to see what it's like anymore...'_ His initial annoyance at her goading him into the kiss was all but gone, replaced by dawning surprise. _'She's... she's liking this. She's liking kissing me. She wanted to kiss me. Me?!'_ Light went off behind his eyes. _'She... likes __**me**__?' _She certainly wasn't stopping the kiss, at least.

Their bodies hadn't really stopped from the wobble their crashing together had started. The swaying increased slowly until they were stutter-stepping backwards across the dining room towards the living room, still holding each other tightly together. Their erratic, blind path ended with Shinji's heels encountering one of the beanbags near the TV. He toppled backwards into the beanbag, their mutual grip pulling Asuka down to end up sprawled on top of him.

The impact of the landing briefly interrupted the kiss. Shinji opened his mouth to say something in surprise at the trip, but Asuka's lips met his again before he even got the first syllable out. He did not protest, his arms wrapping more fully around her back, savoring the warm, solid feel of her against him. His hands slowly stroked up and down her back. He still felt dizzy, but this wasn't a feeling he wanted to stop. He felt like someone had blown the top of his head off and it was spinning somewhere around the ceiling.

He couldn't tell how long they lay there. Eventually, the nearly frenetic pace of their kissing slowed to more languid, relaxed ones. Finally they broke off for a longer pause, breathing hard, foreheads pressed together. Shinji struggled for what to say.

"Wow. That was….um….wow."

"Yeah," she responded just as softly. Her eyes were still closed.

His brain was still spinning from the high. He couldn't come up with anything coherent to say. His mouth kept running without consulting him, however.

"You're beautiful."

That got Asuka's eyes open. Her sparkling blue stare pinned him in place. "What?"  
"You were right, I've never kissed anyone before and I'm so glad it was you for my first kiss and it was incredible and you're so beautiful and I think I really like you and oh shit I'm going to stop talking now."

Heavy silence descended. Pen-pen toddled out of his freezer, looked in at them, cocked his head, and returned to his freezer once more after acquiring a new beer. Shinji swallowed heavily.

Suddenly, Asuka spoke up. "Say it again," she demanded quietly.

He tensed. "Um….say what again?"

"What you just said. Say it again."

"I'm glad you were my first kiss, it was incredible, you're beautiful, and I…" he gulped again. "I think I like you?"

More silence.

Asuka turned her head, burying her face in the side of his neck. "Do you mean it?"

Shinji tried not to shake. He couldn't see her eyes, and her voice was …there was something intense in her tone, but he couldn't tell what. He did get the feeling that he better be very honest about what he said next, though.

"Yes."  
A much longer silence.

"I like you too."

Shinji's ears insisted that was what Asuka had whispered right in his ear, her voice almost inaudible. He froze, his arms still wrapped around her. "What?"

She turned her head back to face him again. "Do you think I'm the kind of girl who'll just kiss anybody?" she asked sharply, a bit of her usual fire seeping back into her voice.

"You just said you wanted to kiss me because you were bored!"

"I lied." Her eyes dropped away from his. "I wanted to kiss you. Because I wanted to know what it felt like."

"You did?" A distant part of Shinji's brain tried to butt in with the observation that his last few contributions to the conversation had not been that impressive. "Why?"

"I don't know! I just keep thinking about it! I'm not supposed to be attracted to boys like you! I'm supposed to want a real man like Kaji! I'm not supposed to be wondering what it would feel like to kiss you, to have your arms around me! It's not supposed to feel this good to _do _it! It's not supposed to feel so good to be lying here with you! I shouldn't want this to never end..." Her outburst ran down into confusion. "Why is it you?"

"I...I don't know?"

Asuka puffed her cheeks our in frustration. "Well...why do you like me, then?"

"Because you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Because you're brilliant, have the most amazing eyes, and are so damn _alive. _You... you push me, get at me like no one else. I... I can never figure out how to talk to you, but I... like seeing you smile."

Asuka colored a bit. "You... you've got nice eyes too." She blinked. "Wait, if you feel like that about me, why didn't you ever _respond _any of the other times I tried to flirt with you? I've been trying to get you to do _something _for _weeks!_"

"Wait, other times? What other times?"

"When a girl walks up to you in a bikini and starts using her chest as a _physics demo, _she's _trying to get your attention!_"

"Oh."

"'Oh'? What about during our synchronization training? We were alone all night and I even invited you into my room, but you didn't do anything!"

Shinji frowned at that one. "You didn't invite me in, you told me to stay out! 'The impenetrable wall of Jerko' you said!"

"Jericho. I... wait, you... You don't know that story? It's in the Bible! The walls of Jericho _fell, _Third! I wanted you to come in!"

Shinji tried vainly to close his gaping mouth. "What?! But... we were alone! We could... I...I didn't know! My Sensei never covered the Bible!"

Asuka just narrowed her eyes at him. "What Sensei?"

"The one my father abandoned me with after my mother died in an accident with the Eva! Not that you'd understand that," he bit out. It was not a comfortable memory. He pinched his eyes closed as the painful image of his father's retreating back welled up once again.

But when he opened them again, Asuka was staring at him like she'd seen a ghost. "Me too."

Shinji blinked. That couldn't be what she just said.

Her arms squeezed him tighter as her gaze went far away. "My mother... There was an accident with Unit-02... She... died, eventually. My father... didn't mourn very long." Her mouth twisted sourly. "So yes, _Third _Child, I know exactly what that felt like!"

Shinji sat stunned, his mind trying to grapple with her shocking revelation. Asuka... had felt the same kind of loss as he had? She'd had her mother ripped away from her, and even younger than him? She... was like him?

"Your father abandoned you after your mother was gone," he said.

She looked at him sharply again. She opened her mouth to say something, but stopped. Her forehead wrinkled in thought for a moment. "You have nightmares all the time about it. The memory keeps coming after you when you try to sleep," she said eventually. It was only half a question.

Shinji nodded slowly, never breaking here eyes. A memory of Asuka weeping in her sleep, whimpering for her Mama floated across his mind. "It's hard to sleep. You feel lonely and cold at night, because no one ever held you after that," he finally replied. It was even less a question. There weren't questions. They were connections. Confessions.

Asuka barely let him finish before she replied. "You never had many friends before you came here. No on ever wanted to just talk to you for you."

She knew... This was his life. And hers? "Your father never explained or apologized for why he just left you."

"No one even tried to understand your pain. No one cared." Her eyes were magnetic, her voice hypnotic.

"You miss her every day, but don't even have any pictures, barely any memories. No one tells you about her." He almost felt like it wasn't his own voice speaking anymore.

Her arms tightened around him even more, almost a desperate grip now. "And there was never any point in talking about it to anyone, because there was no one in the world who could understand what being an Evangelion Pilot was like," she said softly.

Silence hung heavy between them. Shinji vaguely noticed they were breathing in synch, faces just inches apart.

"You're just like me."

He blinked. He wasn't sure which of them had started saying it first. Their synchronization training had left a mark.

Asuka blinked as well, but recovered faster. A smile started spreading across her face that left Shinji positively dazzled. Asuka's face was lit up, transformed by the look of happiness unlike anything he'd seen on her before. Not a smirk, not a cocky, superior grin, but a real, stunning smile. "You... you _know_. You're cute, you like me, you're a fantastic kisser, and you _understand what it's like_." Her arms squeezed him in a fierce hug. "You are _mine_, Third Child!"

She dipped her head to bring their lips together again. She was far more aggressive than before, but he met her just as eagerly. There was more than just the sheer hormonal rush this time. Now there was a dawning realization, a feeling of profound connection. _She knew! He understood! I'm not alone!_

Again, time disappeared for them. Shinji had no idea how long they kept going this time before something finally registered on his mind besides the hot, electric feel of the German redhead in his arms or the growing happiness that there was someone who could truly empathize with what he'd gone through.

Beep. Hiss.

Their eyes popped open simultaneously. _That was the front door! Misato was home! Shit!_ They sprang to their feet and scrambled apart, hastily adjusting clothing and trying to hide red faces and mussed hair. Asuka dove for the TV's remote and turned it on. The NHK announcer began droning on about tomorrow's weather.

Baritone rumbles of a deeper male voice floated from the entrance way, mixing with Misato's slurred mumbles. Kaji had come home with her. They appeared in the doorway from the front all into the dining area where he and Asuka had begun their kiss. Misato's arm was slung around Kaji's shoulders and she was leaning heavily on him for support. Kaji's eyebrows went up as he spotted Shinji standing in the living room. "Yo, Shinji-kun. Give me a hand with her. She needs to get into bed."

"Ah, y-yes, Kaji-san." Shinji quickly moved to support Misato from her other side. Together they guided the stumbling Major towards her futon. Kaji gently removed her jacket and laid her down, brushing her hair out of her face, leaving her rapidly sinking into sleep comfortably arranged on her bedding.

Kaji looked at the NERV Operations Director fondly, a wistful smile on his face. He nodded to Shinji and Asuka. "Well, time for me to go. Goodnight, kids."

Asuka jerked in surprise, finally managing to look Kaji in the face. She'd spent the previous minute carefully keeping him from seeing how much she was still flushed. "You're not... going to stay the night? You could..."

Kaji smiled wryly and fluffed his wedding wear. "I'd get laughed at if I showed up to work tomorrow wearing this."

"But..." Asuka half-raised her hand and drifted after him as Kaji headed for the door. As Shinji moved to follow them and caught up to her, Asuka suddenly stopped and remained still as he and Kaji turned down the hall to the door.

Kaji smiled over his shoulder as he stepped out the door. "Please take care of Katsuragi. See you later, Shinji-kun. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." The door slid closed with another hiss-beep. Out of the corner of his eye, Shinji spotted Asuka standing at the end of the hallway near the dining area, a slightly sad look on her face. "What's wrong?"

"Lavender perfume," Asuka said. "Misato's. It was all over Kaji. They really are together again. I should have known. The whole trip here from Germany Kaji-san was talking about her and distracted, even when I tried to..." Asuka went red. "N-nevermind! I... it's late. We should... get into bed too." For some reason she turned redder.

Shinji tried not to let his shoulders slump. Whatever spell had been cast before, it seemed that now it was broken. The moment was gone. "Right," he muttered, dejected. He walked back to his room and changed into a pair of loose shorts and a light shirt for sleeping in. Before he got to his bed, he stopped in the middle of his room and closed his eyes. He allowed himself to spend a full minute reveling in the memories of how it felt to hold Asuka close and kiss her. He sighed both in enjoyment of the memory and sadness over the fact that that's all it was now. He reached for the covers to get into his bed.

"What are you doing?"

He froze and turned around. Asuka was standing in the door of his room, her arms folded, staring at him.

"I'm... getting into bed? Like you said?" he said, confused. "I..." He froze again. Her ever-present A-10 interface headset was missing. Her hair was down, and she'd apparently brushed it for bed. It haloed her head like a brilliant, smooth waterfall of fire. He had the sudden, intense desire to run his hands through it. It changed her whole look. He'd never seen her like this. It was utterly stunning. She looked even _better._

"You're what? And what are you staring at now, Third?"

"Your...your hair... you're beautiful. I-I mean, I've only ever seen you without your A-10 headset after a shower. You look so different with it brushed out like that. It's amazing..."

Asuka's hands flew to her head. "I... leave it out to sleep. And I said _we_ should get into bed, Third. Come on. Mine's bigger."

Shinji blanched. "What?! Us?! I-I-I... Asuka?" He did not resist, though, when she simply took him by the hand and led him across the narrow hallway into her room.

"Baka. We were interrupted. We were still talking. And I _liked _what we were doing." She stopped at the side of the bed, her back still to him, but still held on to his hand. "Not just the kissing, but the... the rest too. Being held, I mean. I felt warm when we were doing that, and I _didn't_ feel_ alone._ 'It's hard to sleep. You feel lonely and cold at night, because no one ever held you after that', you said." She finally turned around to face him again. "You know that feeling. I do too, and I don't like it. Have you ever felt so warm or good as you did when we were just doing that?"

Her expression was as open as he'd ever seen her. Her eyes searched his face, not hostilely, just... looking to find that feeling of connection again. His heart started pounding even harder than it had when she'd said '_we_ should get into bed'.

He gulped. "No. I haven't. Not for longer than I can remember," he said.

"Don't you want to _keep_ feeling like that?"

He swallowed again. "Yes?" he answered tentatively.

Asuka just nodded. "I do too. And Misato is dead asleep, no one else is here and you're going to be the first one up anyhow. So if...we want to spend the night together to keep the cold and loneliness away, we can. No one will know but us. And I..." Asuka pinched her eyes shut and forced the words out. "I don't want to be alone... Shinji."

_'This has to be a dream. This has to be a dream.'_ "Asuka, I... I don't want to be alone either, but... I'm scared," he admitted. His hand shook in hers. _'This has to be a dream... or a trick.'_

"You're just like me," Asuka reminded him quietly, looking him right in the eyes. "You think I'm not too? But we're Eva Pilots." She managed an unsteady smile. "We can handle anything, right?"

She let go of his hand and sat down on the bed. She scooted over to give him room, then looked up at him, silently asking the question.

Shinji tried to make his body move, but he felt frozen solid. _'This has to be a dream!'_ He'd _had_ dreams like this. Misato's words from the night before echoed in his head. _'Nothing will change unless you take that first step forward...'_ He made his right hand stop nervously clenching and releasing over and over. "Asuka... promise me this isn't a trick? This isn't some kind of game? You really mean all this?"

In response, Asuka just stared at him for a moment before pulling her loose yellow t-shirt over her head and throwing it behind him, well out of reach. "There. If we're caught, no pretending. Does that show you I'm serious enough? I mean all of this, Third Chil-... Shinji. I promise. Now get in here, baka! I'm cold!" She flopped down and pulled the blankets over her, her sapphire blue eyes still locked on his.

He just gaped at the alabaster vision he'd just seen, and slowly peeled his own shirt off to drop at his feet. He lifted the side of the sheets and slid into bed next to her, leaving a careful few centimeters between any actual points of touching her. He nearly levitated a meter up off the mattress when he felt her arms wrap around him and yank him into full flush contact.

"Mmmm...warm," Asuka whispered. "You feel warm. It's nice."

He felt warm, alright. He felt so warm he was faintly surprised that steam wasn't shooting out his ears. He felt positively dizzy. A small pinch on his side from Asuka brought him back down enough to realize she was talking to him. "When someone holds you, you're supposed to hold them too, baka." Her command was somewhat undercut by the blush lighting up her cheeks and inability to meet his eyes. Hesitantly, like he was about to hold a tiger with a toothache, Shinji worked his arms around her too. Her skin felt smoother than the finest silk under his fingertips. He could have sworn he felt electricity running under his hands. _'She's so __**warm**__,' _he thought in wonder.

Asuka had stiffened herself when his arms first went around her, but abruptly melted into his embrace. After a long moment of just enjoying the feeling, she spoke up softly. "Isn't this better than cold and lonely?"

Shinji couldn't help but agree. His heart was still pounding a mile a minute, but at the same time he felt so comfortable and alive he didn't want to move. He nodded. "I like this."

"Me too." Asuka burrowed her face into his neck and lay quietly for a minute. "Shinji... promise _me_ this isn't a dream? I don't... I don't want to wake up alone and hating everything again," she asked. "I don't want this to stop."

"You're just like me," he echoed back at her. "Asuka, I'm scared this is a dream, but I've never felt this good. I'll stay as long as you'll let me."

"Tonight. What about tomorrow? And the next day? I mean it, Shinji. I don't want this to stop. I don't want to wake up cold and lonely ever again."

Shinji tried to keep his heart from hammering its way out of his chest. Asuka, the fiery dynamo of confidence and energy, was asking _him_ for... what? To stay with her? To _be_ with her? Like she thought he might even refuse? If this was a dream, Shinji was going to stay in it as long as he could. "As long as you'll have me. I promise."

To his surprise, Asuka started to laugh. "Did... did I say something wrong?"

Asuka shook her head. "This is crazy. One kiss, and we're like this? One kiss and all of a sudden you're mister smooth? You sound so serious, like you're ready to... to..."

"Jump into a volcano for you?" Shinji suggested with a tiny smile.

Asuka snorted. "You started playing the cello and have spent years getting professionally good because no one told you to stop? Are you going to hold me the same way because I don't tell you to stop?" He tone tried to be flippant, but even as bad as he was at reading most social cues Shinji could hear the serious, almost hopeful note underneath. She _meant_ that question. And he honestly didn't know how to answer her.

Well, he knew how he _wanted_ to answer her, but 'I want to help you somehow, and be with you forever' seemed a bit much to offer so quickly. Even if the German redhead had been on his mind all the time since they'd met, he was still hesitant to do anything that might make her pull away again. But he still didn't want to ever let go. He'd never felt this good in her life.

"I..." He swallowed. "I've never had anyone, Asuka. If you... like me, and want me to hold you and be there tomorrow, then... I'm not going to give that up until you make me. I like this. I like you. If... if you want me to hold you, I will, as long as you hold me too."

Asuka's jaw set more firmly at this. "Oh, I'm going to, Third Child. You're mine! I like this, and I'm not going to let anyone take that, or you, away from me. Not Angels, not NERV, not Misato, not Wondergirl, nobody. We live together, we train together, we fight together, and now..." She blushed again, but didn't lose his eyes. "We stay together. That sound good to you?"

He could only nod.

"You promise?" she pressed. "I think you might be a baka, but the kind of baka who keeps his promises. And I already count on you to fight the Angels with me. So do you promise?"

"I do. I-I mean, I promise. Together, you and me." The words thrilled him.

Asuka's eyes flickered with something he couldn't identify, and she looked like she wanted to say some things, but all she said was "Good." She pulled him closer for another kiss. Or he pulled her. Neither of them could tell.

Time went by. He couldn't tell how much. He didn't care. All that mattered was how it felt to hold someone that wanted him.

Um. How it felt. It felt good. Really good. Heading rapidly for too good, in fact. He reluctantly pulled back. He needed a second to get his brain to work enough to form words. "Um...Asuka?"

Her reply was just as dazed. "Umm?"

_'Oh gods she feels good.'_ "Er... we... I... thermal expansion." He squeaked the words out in a tiny whisper, glad the dim moonlight of her room hid just how mortified he looked. "We... I'm almost..."

"Er... yeah. I can tell... you're... um... hard to miss." Her breathing was almost a pant. "I... we... can't. I mean... not... I'm..." Her whisper dropped even more. "We don't have any... um... protection."

Shinji nearly passed out. _'Did... did she really say... if we did...?"_

"I mean... I... Misato has some in her room, maybe, I think..." she continued, half to herself. "Asuka!" He managed, barely, to keep it to an explosive whisper rather than a near-shout. "We... you're serious?!"

"Don't you dare try to tell me you're not interested or not thinking about it too, baka. You're not fooling anyone." She looked down between them. "But... no. Not... tonight. Not like this."

"You... you've thought about it?" he asked.

She gave him a stare that was simultaneously warm and sarcastic. "Tell me you haven't," she dared him.

Silence.

"That's what I thought." She kissed him again. "Perv. I knew it."

"Hey, you just admitted you did too!"

"I didn't say it was a bad thing. And boy, we are not telling Misato about any of tonight."

"Any?"

"You think the first thing she'd say wouldn't be something like 'Oh noes! You two have to be kept apart, lest naughty deeds ensue!'? She snorted again. "They treat us like kids, but we're soldiers. If we could die any day, any battle... I'm not going to let anyone tell me I'm not allowed to live first. If anyone finds out, they'd make us stop, and probably... probably make us live apart." She sounded very unhappy with the thought. "I bet they'd make me go room with Wondergirl or something. Blech. So we have to pretend we're... like before."

"Even to my friends?" Or yours?"

"You think those Stooges could keep a secret like this? We'll just have to... act like we always do, in public."

"I suppose so..."

Asuka kissed him again, softer than before. "It won't be that bad, my baka-Shinji. When we're all alone..." Her lips curled into a wicked grin and she wiggled against him.

"Oh gods..."

"When we're alone... you're all mine."

XXXXXXXXXX

Morning had just begin to grey they pre-dawn skies when Shinji woke. He blinked blearily as he brushed strands of long red hair out of his face and wondered why his bed felt strange and he had some sort of weight on his chest. His eyes bugged wide as memory rushed in. _'Oh gods... that wasn't a dream?'_ He looked down without moving his head to confirm that, yes, the Second Child was wrapped firmly around him and using his chest for a pillow, smiling faintly in her sleep. _'Nope, that was really real. Oh gods...'_

He carefully slid himself out from under her and got out of bed. She made unhappy noises as her warm 'body-pillow' was taken away, but quieted as he arranged the covers over her and she settled in to the warm spot he'd left.

He stood by the bed for a moment, burning the sight into his memory. Last night had really happened. All of it. Even the... He blushed. Even _those_ parts. 'No protection doesn't mean there's _nothing_ we can do, Third,' she'd said, and proved it. And even more than that, when they'd finally stopped to drift to sleep, she'd quietly whispered again 'I like you too.' That meant more to him than anything else they'd done.

"As long as you'll have me, I promise," he said softly. "Together, forever and always."

He turned and left to start preparing everyone's breakfasts and some hangover medicine for Misato. He missed a crystal blue eye cracking open wide with shock as she watched him leave.


	3. Ch 2 - The First Morning After

Asuka felt warm. Comfy. Someone was holding her. She could hear a steady heartbeat right under her ear. This was nice. She didn't want to wake up. This was the first time she could remember in too long that she hadn't been dragged out of restless sleep by the alarm. She was being roused anyway, however, by the sudden increase in the pleasant heartbeat, and then the removal of the warmth she'd been cuddling. She mumbled sleepy complaints, but the warmth left anyway. She felt someone gently covering her with the blankets, and reluctantly burrowed into the warm spot on the mattress.

"As long as you'll have me, I promise," a soft voice said. "Together, forever and always."

_'Oh, that sounds nice. I hate being lonely. Are they talking to me?'_ she mused drowsily. Wait, she knew that voice. She'd never heard it so soft or close before last night, though... Her eye not pressed into the sheets snapped open. _'Oh. Oh holy shit. That was real. We...'_ She could see the familiar back of the Third Child walking out of her room. Away from her bed. Where they'd spent the night... together. Eep.

The soft THAP of the door to her room sliding shut was like a starting pistol. Asuka bolted upright, her heart pounding. The sudden prickle of colder air on her skin and a quick glance down confirmed her memory of tossing her shirt across the room to prove to the Third she was serious. She had no idea where her shorts had ended up. She'd had other things on her mind at the time. She blushed as bright red as her Evangelion as memories of exactly what they'd done after that point flooded her waking mind. It was a good thing Misato had been totally knocked out and they had no neighbors!

She rapidly tossed on a change of clothes for the day, grabbed her A-10 headset, and cracked her door open. No one in sight. The faint sounds of her fellow Pilot beginning breakfast was the only thing she heard. No sign of Misato. Right. Go.

She slipped out of her door and quietly made her way towards the kitchen. Unfortunately, the layout of the apartment meant she had to go through the dining area right off the kitchen in order to make the bathroom. But as long as Shinji had his back turned, she could make it there without him seeing her. She wouldn't have to look him in the eye yet. Which right now, sounded like a really good idea.

A few more steps and she could see him. He was facing the counter, making something for their breakfast. A quick, quiet dash and she was in the bathroom, the folding door snapped shut behind her. Safe.

The reflection in the mirror argued otherwise. The girl in the mirror looked like she was about to freak out. _'Okay, Soryu... WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?!'_ She... it had worked. She'd finally gotten that dense, oblivious, blind baka to finally notice the fact she'd been trying to get him to _react_ to her hints that she... kind of thought he was cute. A bit. And it had _worked_. She'd kissed him. He'd put his arms around her. They'd kissed some more. It had been really nice. They'd talked. _Connected_. They'd _ gone to bed together._ They'd...

She clamped a hand over her mouth to halt a sudden mad giggle. They'd... done just about everything two teenagers could do without risking a surprise nine months later. And every bit had been as spectacular and dizzying as that first kiss. _'Who'd have thought the Third Child would be so good at this?'_ she wondered giddily. And most of all, he'd promised to be there again tonight. And the next night. And the next.

_'Alright, Soryu, quit dodging the issue. Yeah, losing purity points was fun and you can't wait to do it again, but that's not why you're hiding in the bathroom, afraid to look him in the eye right now, is it? He... said things last night. Made promises. He just did it again. That stupid, clumsy, dense baka... likes you. And you like him. He understands what it feels like. He's just like you. You're not alone. And he wants to stay with you.'_ "Which is Gott damn _terrifying_..." she whispered out loud.

She could admit it now, in a slightly more self-conscious part of her mind. He was kind of cute. He was polite and self-effacing to the point it could drive her nuts, but he was also kind, gentle, and could be stupidly brave to almost ridiculous lengths when protecting others. _'He dove into a volcano without a second's thought to save me. No one's ever done anything even close to that for me.' _He was an elite Eva Pilot, like her, a 'prime catch' as some of the other girls at school had quietly mentioned. He sometimes showed a spark of energy and anger when she'd pushed at him that secretly thrilled her, the way he would _react_ to her, pushing to match her, making her push just as hard to stay ahead of him. He made her feel alive. He was... a good guy. He'd renewed his promise this morning, when he must have thought she was asleep. He wasn't just saying things for her to hear. He meant it. And now he wanted to be with her.

Everything she could want. Pity she had _no freaking idea what to do next. 'Okay, Soryu, you wanted to catch this tiger. Now you've got him. So now what? I didn't exactly have a plan for part two! Now I'm hiding in the bathroom because I'm afraid the minute we look at each other we're both going to go redder than my hair, Misato's going to figure it out, and make me go move in with Wondergirl. Then Shinji will realize he can do better than the nasty, useless pretend-Pilot I am and find someone else because every good thing in my life goes away and nobody wants me and..._

"No!" she insisted at her reflection. "No no no! He promised! He likes me! He held me! I'm not letting this go!" All her hidden worries at not matching up to the First Child still boiled up at her. She'd needed Shinji with her to beat Galghiel and Israfel. She'd beaten Sandalphon by herself... but Shinji had to save her life. Shinji had killed Matarael; she'd just been a meatshield. She'd gotten the killing blow on Sahaquiel... but only after Shinji had caught it himself. Not to mention the three Angels he'd killed before she even got here. Hell, Doctor Akagi had killed Iruel! The lab-coated old lady had as many solo Angel kills with a _keyboard_ as she did in her Eva!

She fought back. She was an elite Eva Pilot! She had no fear in battle! She was not going to let herself be afraid here! She'd been afraid last night, afraid Shinji would miss her hints again, but this time he'd answered! And it had been _great_! He'd promised they'd keep going! She stared into the mirror until the worried look faded away. The smile that replaced it was a bit fragile, but felt good.

"He likes me. He thinks I'm beautiful. I'm here now, and I'm going to make him fight hard to keep up with me against the Angels. He's just like me. Anything 'Invincible Shinji-sama' can do, I can do too! And he's going to hold me no matter what! I can't lose!" She worked her A-10 headset in under her hair and started tying up the tails of her hair in the back to the receiver nodes before attacking it with brushes and combs to make it shine.

Finally satisfied with the results, she admired herself in the mirror. She preened. "He thinks I'm beautiful? I'm going to knock his socks off today!" She looked great. She turned to the bathroom door, took a deep breath, and opened it.

A zombie lurched at her. "Bathrooooom..." it moaned, arms blindly fumbling in front, reaching at her...

Asuka blanched. "AAAAAAA!"

Misato squinted her eyes shut even harder and slammed her hands over her ears. "AAAgh! Not so loud! And turn off that light! Oh gods, my head!"

Asuka staggered out of the way of the hungover Major and tried to bring her pulse back down. She'd nearly had a heart attack! Misato wobbled past her, still moaning. The bathroom door snapped shut behind her. Wait, that meant she was now in the dining area... Her eyes shot left.

There he was. He was walking out of the kitchen area with her breakfast on a tray. He looked up as she appeared, a smile breaking out on his face...

Which meant he was totally surprised when he walked right into the table and smashed his toe against the leg. He managed to plop the tray down on the table without spilling anything, but then started hopping around sputtering in pain and holding his mashed foot.

_'Well, that was a nice anticlimactic way to start the day...'_ Asuka shook her head. If painful for Shinji, his accident had at least broken the ice. The smile he'd started to aim her way had also been reassuring. He had a nice smile, and it had appeared so automatically as soon as he'd seen her. Just like her own.

_'Soryu, you'd better learn to get that under control if you liked last night. Misato figures out you and he are sweet on each other for real, and she'll start watching you like a hawk to keep anything like that from going on!'_ she warned herself. She grit her teeth. Right. Control. They had to be cool when others were around.

"Shinji?"

Shinji looked up from rubbing his foot. He nervously smiled. "H-hi, Asuka. I mean, good morning. Um..." He trailed off, uncertain.

"We've only got as long as it takes Misato to shower and get back out here to talk, so we're going to have to be quick. Sit down."

Shinji sat down across from her, his hands restlessly flitting about in front of him. "Um... yes?"

"I... I heard you this morning."

Shinji blushed. "Er... I..."

"I... it's good, okay? I like it, that you would say that when you didn't think I could hear it. I know you meant it, just like... last night." She flushed some herself. "Yeah, all that stuff too but I mean... everything that we said. I meant it. And I'm glad you did too." He was starting to smile at her that way again. She started to match him, but stopped herself. "And I like it when you smile at me like that... but we've got to stop."

Shinji's face fell. "No..." he said, his voice hollow.

She reached across to grab his hand. "Not like that, baka! You are still holding me tonight, Third Child! You promised! What I mean is... we can't just... be all sunshine and smiles at each other like that. Not while Misato's around."

Shinji's desperate return grip on her hand eased. Color flooded back into his face. "Oh... right." He sighed in relief. "I... get it. I guess."

"I liked last night, Shinji. I woke up feeling good. I never wake up like that. I don't want it to stop, any of it. But if Misato catches us, that's the first thing she'll do, If she even finds out we're... that we really like each other, she'll be watching for it, So we can't let her catch us, or even suspect. And that means we've got to act like before, right?" Asuka argued.

"I suppose. At school too?" He regarded their hands with a slightly sad look. "I wish we didn't have to. I can hardly look at you without smiling now, Asuka." He looked up at her shyly. True to his word, he started to smile. "We're... we're alone when we walk to school, though, right? We can... maybe hold hands? For some of it?"

_'Damn it, Shinji. Stop being so cute at me.'_ She cleared her throat. "Ahem! Maybe. If we're in a spot where _no one_ can see us. We'll have to be careful. I don't want to end up having to live with Wondergirl, got it? Anyone sees us, and we'll have to deny it." She squeezed his hands one more time before pulling hers back. The warmth from his fingers was too seductive, and she knew if she let herself she'd just keep holding his until Misato came out and found them like that. "We're going to be like always at school, though. So... when I yell at you for being a baka... just... know that I don't really mean it, okay?"

"I... I know." Shinji nodded. "It's... it's okay. I get to see the real you at home. As long as I know... you're just like me."

A chill ran down her spine. _'The real me?'_ She suppressed it. _'Stop it. I am not useless. I am elite. He's going to have to keep up with me.'_ She kept her face calm. She let her hand snake back out to grab his again. His long, deft fingers easily intertwined with hers. She could almost feel the reassurance flowing through their clasp. "Just like me. Now let's eat and get moving before Miss Hangover has too much time to eyeball us."

.

.

Getting out of the house before Misato finished up her hangover-slowed shower routine proved impossible, so over a quiet breakfast she and Shinji had their first trial by fire of whether or not they could fool Misato about their budding relationship. A groggy and light-sensitive Misato proved to be fairly easy to hoodwink, thought, and they escaped quickly after Shinji finished preparing their lunches without her even noticing the two Pilots never looked each other in the face.

Asuka fought down the urge to tow Shinji in through the front gates of the school by her hand, making her claim on him as loudly and publicly as she could. It was a bad idea, she told herself. Too many students would tell their parents, their teachers, or someone else who would eventually talk to their guardian, and then the game would be up. So no matter how much the idea of bragging about the fact she now had a boyfriend (who was, by the way, a fantastic kisser and good in bed) appealed to her, or the boost she could expect to her already considerable social status as the exotic foreign Eva Pilot from being paired up with the boy everyone knew had saved Tokyo-3 more than once, she'd have to stay quiet. Really.

So she restricted herself to merely holding his hand on a couple of the narrower side streets during their walk to school. She told herself it was because he'd asked for it. It totally wasn't because his hand felt warm and made her feel the same, or because the handclasp made her skin tingle at the point of contact. Totally not. It must have been his feet that slowed their walk as they approached the point where more public streets would require them to let go again.

School itself was relatively easy. She just acted tired and a bit surly, responding to Hikari's questions and chatter during the day with grunts and as little talk as possible. She spent most of the day trying not to obviously stare at Shinji and break into grins. That wasn't too easy, with memories of last night constantly popping up in her head. Which inevitably led her to thinking of the coming night...

_'There are vending machines and pharmacies on the way home...'_ a quiet, subversive little voice whispered in her head. _'You could get some protection pretty easily that way. Then there'd be nothing to stop you from a little "special full-synchronization training" hurr hurr hurr...'_ She dug her pencil into her leg to stop the blush that wanted to explode across her face at that thought. She spent the next hour arguing with her body why they shouldn't do that. She was having a real hard time finding arguments. Last night had been too much fun. And more, she felt a deep nee- _desire_ to truly, fully connect with Shinji, to create the deepest bond with him she could. To be sure, at the deepest possible level of her mind, that he really looked at her.

_'He's just like you,'_ the voice insisted. _'He's thinking about it too.'_ That's just because he's a teenage boy. He'd be like that with anyone. _'Except no. Have you ever seen him look at anyone else the way he looks at you? Has he ever held anyone like he held you? Kissed anyone like you?'_ No, he... wait. Asuka's eyes drifted past Shinji to the row of seats by the window, to the other Eva Pilot in their class.

Wondergirl. The bluenette was apparently ignoring the teacher again, staring out the window at the puffy clouds drifting across the sky. She'd more than once seen Shinji staring at the First Child during class. Or sometimes Ayanami was staring at Shinji. And they'd been fighting side-by-side for months before she arrived in Japan. There wasn't anything going on between them, was there? Shinji had never said a thing, and neither had Ayanami, but it's not like either were big talkers. _'He does look at her sometimes... and she does look almost as good as I do. Mostly. Somewhat. And I'm sure she'd do whatever she was told anyway. Stupid doll.'_

Gott, now she was getting worried. She might even have a reason. When she'd first arrived, she'd been somewhat surprised to learn that the other girls in their year considered the quiet, unobtrusive Third Child to still be a hot catch for any girl who might nab him as a boyfriend. They thought him polite, a good cook who made his own bentos, kind of cute, and most of all, the famed Evangelion Pilot who'd defended Tokyo-3 from the attacks of three separate Angels. At the time she'd merely sniffed, accepting the last part with a muttered 'of course Eva Pilots are elite' and dismissing the rest as foolish rumors by girls who didn't know how dull he was in person.

But then they'd been forced to live together to train for their synchronized battle with Israfel. She'd found herself watching him, enjoying the way he cooked anything she wanted on demand and constantly cleaned up after her and Misato... how he took care of her. How he rose to the challenges of Eva Piloting, despite obviously not enjoying it the way she did. How he always gave her what she wanted, whenever she asked (or more often, simply demanded, loudly). Until she started wanting more from him than she could bring herself to actually ask for out loud. Then the rumors had started to make sense.

And now he was hers. So the other girls had declared him tasty, so what? A few had even made tentative approaches on him, asking him if he'd like to have lunch and such. He'd always turned them down, out of shyness or obliviousness to the real meaning of their requests. But the end result was Shinji had turned down every other girl who'd approached him... but her. And none of them knew why.

Asuka felt a small smile growing that she couldn't stop this time. None of them knew why, because none of them knew him the way she did. _'He's just like me. No one __**can**__ know him like I do. Not even Wondergirl. He's mine!'_ That was a small surprise to her too, that she was looking forward to _talking_ to Shinji tonight almost as much as her hormones were looking forward to the rest. Someone who could _understand_! _'He's just like me!'_ And he'd been scared, last night. She had been too, honestly. Neither of them were the kind of people to open up easily. But there was just something about him that dew her... She... wanted him. As a boyfriend, a confidant, a... a... everything. Even that ultimate step of intimacy, but... yeah, it was still a bit scary. So maybe not all the way just yet, but for damn sure they were going to talk and hold each other tonight. Asuka hadn't slept so well or peacefully in _years_. No nightmares, no restlessness, nothing but comfort and warmth.

And most of all, she hadn't felt _alone_. _'Gott, this is like a drug,'_ she thought. _'First hit's free...'_ But who cared, when it felt like this?

The lunch bell startled her out of her pleasant daydream. Time to mask up. She stood up and stalked over to Shinji's desk, a glower slipping over her face. "Baka-Shinji! Where's my lunch!" she growled at him, slamming her hands down on his desk.

He jumped at the impact, his mouth opening to say something. She narrowed her eyes at him, just a hair, and flicked her look at their classmates. Shinji got the hint and just said, "H-here, Asuka. Just the way you like it."

She accepted the proffered box with a haughty look, taking it without another word and walking towards Hikari's desk at the front of the room.

Her friend was waiting for her with a slightly disapproving look. "You know, Asuka, you could be nicer to Ikari-kun. He makes your lunch for you every day, and you hardly even say thank you," she chided her as they walked outside to eat.

_'I almost wish I could tell you about last night right now, Hikari, just to see the look on your face.'_ Aloud, she held herself to, "He understands what I meant. I thank him after dinner at home." _'And oh boy, am I going to thank him tonight!'_ "Anyway, I think your sister owes me an apology. That guy she set me up on that blind date with yesterday was _incredibly_ boring, and he tried to cop a feel on me after barely an hour at the amusement park!"

Hikari winced. "I'm sorry, Asuka! Kodama said he was a nice guy! And she was very insistent and persuasive."

"She probably owed him a favor, or money," Asuka grumbled. ""After that, I just left him waiting in line and went home. And I'd gotten all dressed up for it, too. Hmph!"

"I'm really sorry. No more blind dates, I promise!"

Asuka waved her concern away. "It's fine, he's gone and forgotten. Tomorrow I won't even remember his name. So much for him being a 'dashing older student' like you said. He was just a selfish jerk out for a cheap feel, not anything like a real good man, like Kaji-san or S-" Asuka suddenly coughed violently and covered her mouth. _'Crap! You idiot! That was close!'_

"Or who?" Hikari asked.

"Ssssssschelbert-san. Guy I knew in Berlin. Nice guy, very... er... tall. You don't know him," Asuka improvised. "But yeah, no more blind dates. Why don't you take the next one?"

Her friend blushed and mumbled something into her lunch. Asuka rolled her eyes. Her friend's poorly hidden giant crush on Shinji's athletic friend was cute, annoying, and right now a perfect distraction. Asuka mentally growled at herself for nearly blowing things that easily. Gah. When was this school day going to end?

"Do you think Suzuhara likes anyone in our class?" Hikari asked.

Asuka groaned.

.

.

The final bell of the day came as a relief. As they were leaving Hikari invited Asuka out shopping as an apology for the blind date gone wrong, but Asuka begged off, citing vague NERV-related things she needed to do ahead of a synch test tomorrow. She'd signaled Shinji with her eyes to go on ahead of her, not wanting to be seen leaving in his company, but she caught up with him before he'd even made the first corner on their path home. She'd seized his hand as soon as they were out of sight of any fellow students, though she did ensure they kept to less visible streets.

Once in the door of Misato's apartment they'd nearly attacked each other, schoolbags immediately flung away. After only thirty minutes Shinji somehow managed to pull back and suggest they stop, over Asuka's protests. He reluctantly pointed out that if they still had homework and such undone when Misato got home a little later, she'd probably ask why. Misato knew Shinji was a dutiful student, and Asuka a college-graduate genius in Germany, so there was no reason they wouldn't already be done when she got home... unless something else had occupied them.

With only a modest amount of further pouting, Asuka decided that they should study together, at least. Misato would accept an explanation of that being an aftereffect of their synchronization training if they were found doing that. They could write it off as Shinji helping her study up on kanji, if nothing else. Plus, Shinji needed all her genius help on his math and science that he could get. She did enjoy the look he got when she sweetly asked if she should put on _that_ bikini again to teach him more physics. She grinned wider when he managed to stutter a 'yes?'.

Working together to cover their weaker subjects actually made things go faster. They'd just finished up their studying about 5PM when the phone rang. Shinji answered it. "Hello? Katsuragi residence."

"And this is Katsuragi. Hi, Shin-chan. I'm making up for the time I took off for that wedding yesterday, so I'll be running really late. Don't bother leaving any dinner for me. I'll catch a meal here in the cafeteria or something. Maybe make Kaji buy me take-out. Anyhow, I probably won't get home until after midnight, so try not to fight with Asuka too much. Get to bed on time to get a good night's sleep. You all have that Synch Test tomorrow afternoon."

He glanced at Asuka, whose face had perked up at hearing Misato's voice. She made questioning gestures at him, and crept closer. She leaned in close, trying to put her ear next to the phone to listen in.

"Um, right, Misato-san. We'll be alright. We just finished up our homework, so we'll get to bed early, both of us," he said calmly. Asuka reeled away, clapping her hands over her mouth and fighting to contain her laughter.

"Good boy, Shin-chan. I'll see you in the morning." She hung up.

Asuka burst out laughing. "Hahahahaha! Oh, yeah, we're both getting to bed soon! Third, I didn't think you had it in you to try sneaking jokes past Misato like that! Hahahaha!"

Shinji shrugged and scratched the back of his head, but still grinned back at her. "Well, it's about what I would have said anyway, before, and it's still _true_, so I'm not lying or anything..."

She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the kitchen. "Heh. Technically correct, the best kind of correct. Now hurry up and make dinner. The faster you get done and we eat, the faster we can... ah... do everything else."

He started to open cupboards and pulled out the wok. "We..." He blushed. "We don't have... I mean... I really liked those parts, Asuka, but... I like talking to you too. I've... never had anyone who can understand like you. I want to be... I... I like being able to talk like we did last night."

"Not just trying to roll me into bed as fast as you can? Are you sure you're a teenage boy? Aren't you supposed to be all about that? It sure sounds that way, listening to your Stooge buddies," Asuka needled him, covering her nervousness at the topic.

Shinji looked at the floor. "I... do like that part too, Asuka. But... I... you're not just a beautiful girl to me, okay? You're... special. There's pretty girls in our class and stuff, but they're... They can't understand. I don't want to talk to them. They're not you. So I don't want to _just_ kiss you. I... I want all of you."

He raised his head to look at her when he finished. Those dark blue, so damn blue eyes were increasingly making Asuka's insides melt when he did that, almost as much as his words this time. She tried to get her mouth to form actual words. "W-well, what about Ayanami? She's pretty, and she knows Eva. I've seen you looking at her, too."

Shinji blinked. "Ayanami? She... doesn't talk much. And I like her, but... she's not... so alive, like you. I don't... I worry that she doesn't seem to have any friends and takes too many risks in her Eva, but she doesn't keep me awake at night like you." He blushed again. "I mean... Not like last night! I mean before that! Oh wait, that sounds worse... I wasn't... gah..."

Asuka tried not to show how much better that made her feel. "Ohh? Thinking of me at night Shin-chan?" she asked, sweet as could be. "Baka hentai Shin-chan, up all night..."

He was thoroughly red now. "I... hey!" His eyes narrowed. "You're just like me! Were you... doing the same?"

Shinji pushing back? This was new and interesting. And true, as it happened, not that she was going to admit it so easily. "Me? I'm a proper and well-mannered young lady! I would never..."

"You totally were, weren't you?" Shinji interrupted, his blush easing as his smile grew.

Well, mostly about Kaji, at least at the beginning, but Shinji _had_ started cropping up in there more and more. Thoughts of just sneaking across the hall one night, slipping into his room in the dark... A tingle ran through her at the thought that fantasy was now entirely possible, no, _probable_ on a night very soon. She coughed into her hand. "...maybe." Gott, this was fun. He was pushing back at her. He was _looking _at her.

Shinji set the oven to cook and got out more dinner ingredients, grinning. "Asuka...this is kind of scary... but fun."

"I know."

"Not just the kissing. All of it."

"I know."

He looked at her closely again, the way he had yesterday just before he started listing their shared traumas. "You... you're scared at opening up... but that's even more exciting and terrifying than the... the parts in bed. But you don't want to stop. You've never felt like this before."

She made herself meet his look and shot back. "You... can't wait to get your hands on me again. You were thinking about it all day. It's a little scary, yeah, but... you want more. Of all of it."

He leaned in closer. "You... last night just happened. Knowing we're going to sleep next to each other already, at the start of... tonight is... different. You're..." Shinji placed visibly shaking hands on her waist, pulling her close. She tried not to shake likewise. "Scared. This still feels like some kind of wild dream. To you." He added at the last minute, keeping up the pretense.

She just gave a tiny nod. "We're Eva Pilots. We can do anything." She let their foreheads press together, looking right into his eyes from up close. This time their kiss was more tentative, but carried a different feeling then their earlier, intense make-out. "Finish making dinner, Shinji. I want to get to bed _soon_."

He pulled back and nodded. "Right. We told Misato we would," he said with a smile. "Synch Test tomorrow and stuff." He turned back to the wok.

"I am so going to kick your ass in that, Third Child."

Surprisingly, he pushed back at her one more time. "Bet you won't."

She let a delighted shiver run through her. "Oh, it is so on, Third."

Chapter 3 in progress. Leliel is coming. Things will change. And of course, there will be fan service! /Misato voice


	4. Ch 3 - Testing and Proving Pt 1

Misato sipped at the soup, making a surprised and pleased sound at the flavor. "Mmm. Hey, Shinji, did you change the soup stock?"

Shinji carefully lifted up the hot pot with the rest of lunch in it with mittened hands and turned towards the table. "Yeah, it's a bonito stock. It's a gift from Ritsuko-san."

"HOTTTTTTTTTT!" The aggrieved shout from the bathroom startled the two inhabitants of the dining area. A rapid stomping of feet heralded the door to the bathroom being flung open by an upset redhead clad only in a pair of towels wrapped tightly around her hair and torso. She leveled an accusing finger at Shinji. "That bath was too HOT!"

"I'm sorry," his mouth said on autopilot. A small part of his brain was concentrating on not dropping the hot pot on his feet, because most of it was trying not to drool helplessly over the way Asuka's long, smooth legs disappeared up under the hem of the towel, mixed in with memories of last night that said sight triggered. Stopping in the middle of things to take a shower had been Asuka's idea. It had been a good one; she'd suggested there was a way to save water... Wow...

Um. She was still pointing at him and yelling. "You always apologize right away, but do you actually feel sorry?!"

"Um." Nope, brain still off.

"It's like you apologize as a conditioned reflex to avoid being scolded!"

"I'm sorry." Autopilot was still good, check.

"Exactly like that. You're just fundamentally too self-deprecating!"

He frowned slightly. She'd mentioned something similar last night, when they were quietly talking in her bed, but her tone had been much softer then. He could understand that yelling at him now was a part of keeping up their front of antagonism for Misato, but it still stung a little. Less than it might have if he didn't know she actually cared about him, though. It did remind him they were still deceiving Misato, however, and his face clouded. He hated lying to her.

Misato saw his look darken, but misunderstood why. She came to his rescue against Asuka's rant. "Now, now, that's just Shin-chan's way..."

Asuka folded her arms over her chest and sniffed. "Just his way? You're being too soft on him! He need firm training, not lax attitude! Haven't you been a little too soft on him lately?"

"Have I?" Misato asked innocently, taking a sip from her beer. She loved Sundays.

Asuka glared at their guardian. "Just because you and Kaji-san have hooked up again, don't project your happiness on other people so easily!"

"There's nothing between Kaji and me," Misato intoned piously.

The phone in Misato's bedroom rang, and picked up on voicemail after one ring. "Yo, Katsuragi!" Kaji's voice rang out, perfectly clear to everyone in the dining room. "I found a bar that serves a decent drink! How about tonight? See you!" Beeeeeep.

Misato's expression was a trifle embarrassed.

Asuka's tone shifted from angry to sarcastic. "Sure, nothing between you... No daylight, no air gap, nothing but sweat, I bet! Perverted guardian! Disgusting!"

Misato just tipped her can back and looked intently at the ceiling, muttering about Kaji's sense of timing.

With Misato's gaze diverted, Asuka took the chance to give Shinji a wink. _'So Misato will probably be out tonight, hmm?'_ it promised. Asuka slipped back into the bathroom as Shinji quickly turned back towards the kitchen to hide his face. He wasn't entirely comfortable with hiding their relationship from Misato, but sometimes the game was a thrill on its own...

.

.

"B-type harmonics test complete, no problems. Projected adjustment values have been cleared," Lieutenant Ibuki's voice rang over the test chamber's speakers.

Misato covered her mouth to hide a yawn. The observation room overlooking the test chamber was too warm for her comfort, thanks to the blood-warm vat of LCL the Test Plugs sat in for the Synch Test. The heat and short sleep were leaving her drowsy.

She didn't hide the yawn well enough. "You look tired, Misato-san," observed Lieutenant Hyuga.

Misato rubbed at her neck. "Yeah, for a lot of private reasons," she admitted.

"Kaji," Doctor Akagi commented flatly, not even looking up from her clipboard.

"_Shut _it!" Misato barked at her old friend. So it might have been true, so what? It still wasn't what everyone thought. But better everyone assuming she was just up all night because she and Kaji were back together than anyone looking closer. Kaji showing her the unearthly white giant stored away in Terminal Dogma had been enough to keep her awake for hours all by itself. The drinking she'd done to let herself finally get to sleep had been entirely medicinal, for a change. What _else_ was NERV keeping secret besides an Angel in the basement?

She sighed, returning her attention to the nearly completed Synch Test. She bent over Maya's chair. "Well, how's the Third Child doing?" she inquired.

Maya smiled over her shoulder and tapped at her keyboard, bringing up a simplified results display. "Take a look."

"Hmm, let me see..." It took her a second to interpret the technical readout and compare it to the prior results, but only one. This was the 132nd Synch Test, after all. "A six percent jump over last test? Are... are the results stable? Wow."

Maya nodded. "It's not just him, either. The Second Child is up too, four percent. Shinji's caught up to her. In fact, he's peaking ahead of her by a hair on some of the harmonics, but he can't seem to stabilize that."

"What about Rei? Is this an artifact of the equipment modifications we're testing?"

The technical Lieutenant shook her head. "I checked her, too. She's up, but just zero-point-eight percent. It's just Shinji and Asuka getting this big spike. I'll try to isolate the cause."

"My my... I hope that knowing this will boost his confidence. Asuka is always going on about how superior and elite she is. Shinji catching up to her might give him a boost, and maybe spur her on to stay ahead." She keyed the Pilot's communication link. "Can you hear me, Shinji-kun?"

Shinji opened his eyes in the Test Plug. He actually looked pretty happy for once, Misato noted. He perked up further at her voice. "Misato-san? How were my test scores?"

Misato gave him a thumbs-up. "You're up six points this time, Shinji! You're tied with Asuka!"

Shinji glowed happily. The rare, straight praise almost seemed to surprise him.

.

Asuka snorted derisively in her plug. "No doubt because of my fine example of how to be a superior Eva Pilot! You should be honored how much of me has rubbed off on you, Third Child!" Asuka quickly cut the comm window off and desperately stuffed her hands over her mouth. _'Oh Gott, now baka-Shinji's got me doing it too! 'How much of me has rubbed off on him?' Hahahahaha! How about 'all of me, several times!'?'_ She grinned beneath her covering hands. Last night had been even more fun than the first. Shinji's long, sensitive musician's fingers were good for more than just playing cello. He gave _amazing_ backrubs.

She was actually enjoying herself. So he'd caught up? She was going to make him work to stay there. Mama would be proud of her. If Shinji could raise his Synch Score enough to match her, she could raise hers just as much to keep ahead. _'I like the idea of making him chase me, oh yes.'_

She sank her head back into the seat and smiled faintly, closing her eyes. _'I haven't felt this good in years. Mama, would you have liked him? He makes me happy like you did. ...I wish I could show him to you.'_

_._

Maya narrowed her eyes at the test results. Asuka's graph had just wobbled upwards another 0.5 percent. She glanced up at the display screen showing all three Pilot's faces side by side. Rei was as blank as ever. Shinji was smiling, still chatting with Misato. Asuka... had her head back and eyes closed, like she was meditating. "Asuka, whatever you're doing, keep doing it. You just went up another half a point!"

.

Asuka blinked her eyes open in surprise. A cocky grin grew on her face. "Oh, does that mean Shinji's no longer caught up, hmm?"

Misato gave her a half-smile. "You are now just ahead of him, Asuka. You are Number One."

.

"Oh man, that was a close one, but in the end my natural skill and superior training record easily beat him. And you were just left in the dust, First. To be honest, getting beat that easily must be a little frustrating for you, no? I can't help it that I'm amazing, wonderful, awesome, just tooooo awesome for you to match! Even the great, invincible Shinji-sama cannot beat me! Although he is _almost _as good as I am. My influence, no doubt. Just being around me makes him better. You should try it sometime, First."

_'Being around Ikari-kun more often would... be agreeable,' _Rei thought. She otherwise tried her best to tune out the Second Child's happy babbling. The Second had been unusually cheerful the last few days. Her successfully registering the top Synch Score in today's test seemed to have energized her even more. She had not stopped talking since they'd left the test chamber, mostly about her own superiority. Rei frowned slightly. She was mentioning Ikari-kun unusually often, and in more complimentary manner than she commonly favored him with. She had only used 'baka' twice the entire time. Curious.

Rei shelved the thought for later. Doctor Akagi had ordered her to stop by her lab, to be followed by her regular full brain scan and upload in Terminal Dogma. She did not have time to spend listening any further to the Second's opinion of herself, nor devote to the mystery of why she seemed less hostile to Ikari-kun lately. She finished adjusting her school uniform and closed her locker. Picking up her bookbag, she walked to the door of the locker room.

"Well, that just means you'll get to take it easy from now on, right? But I guess you should at least do your best not to be left behind," Asuka continued, not even looking at Rei as she energetically danced around in front of her locker, admiring herself in the mirror mounted in the door.

"Goodbye," Rei said quietly, leaving the Second to continue her chattering without an audience. Not that Rei cared.

.

Asuka froze as the door hissed shut and listened carefully as Rei's delicate footsteps faded away down the hall. Without another word she rapidly finished dressing and slammed her locker shut. She was out the locker room door and down the hall in the opposite direction within thirty seconds of Rei's departure, bag bouncing madly against her hip as she ran.

_'I told him to wait for me at the Geofront-to-surface train station near the fourth shaft. If I make it there in the next ten minutes, he and I can catch the bus on the surface almost all the way home. We'll be alone and in the apartment by 1830!' _Asuka grinned and ran faster. _'And I won! So it was by half a point? So what? I'm still the best! And Shinji's chasing right behind me! With me! Come on, Third Child, chase me!'_

She skidded into the deserted train station with a minute to spare. She spotted Shinji waiting on a bench near the last door in the train. The train itself stood empty with its door open. The lack of regular riders on this particular train was why Asuka had selected it. The automated voice was already warning them to board. She pointed at the train as she ran the last few meters to board the car closest to her. Shinji jogged into the one near him and immediately started moving his way forward to meet her. They ran together and wrapped their arms around each other like they'd been separated for days instead of a few hours.

"The ride... to the... surface," Asuka gasped between kisses, "Is eighteen minutes. We'll be in public at the surface station and on the bus, so let's make the most of this ride."

"Un," Shinji agreed, unwilling to waste time with words. His hands were already starting to work their magic on her back, kneading at muscles made stiff from hours spent sitting in the Test Plugs.

Asuka groaned in pleasure. _'Mmm... Gott, his hands... you are mine mine mine, Third Child.'_

All too quickly, they were on the surface, waiting ten minutes for the bus to take them to within a few blocks of Misato's apartment. Asuka forced herself to wipe the contented smile off her face while they were in public, forcing it down to one of her more usual haughty smirks. The crowd of homeward-bound NERV people forced them to pretend to ignore each other. Happily, the bus fairly quickly emptied out of most of its passengers as it headed north through Tokyo-3. The orange light of the setting sun made the whole bus glow, making Shinji's chestnut brown hair looki like it had a halo from Asuka's seat behind him.

Once they were almost alone on the bus, Asuka felt safe to talk to him, and rested her head on her arms on the back of Shinji's seat. Shinji was staring out the window, a faintly sad look on his face. She poked him in the back of the head. "Why the glum look, Shinji?"

Shinji blinked and snapped out of his distracted fugue. "Uh? Oh, it's nothing."

She poked him again. "Bullshit. Talk, Third. I like it when you smile too."

That did bring a faint smile to his face. "Well... I was pretty happy I'd caught up to you there for a minute. You're... you've been training for this your whole life, Asuka. It's kind of intimidating, trying to keep up with you. It all seems to come to you so easily. But then you somehow pulled out ahead again. I... I wonder sometimes if I'm good enough to keep up with you at all."

"Don't. Being the second greatest Eva Pilot in the world isn't exactly making you one of the unwashed masses, Shinji, especially when _I'm_ the top mark. You brought your score up six points in a week, and almost matched me. And who beat Sachiel with no training? Who beat Shamshel despite two Stooges in the Entry Plug with him weighing him down? Who was right there with me against Gaghiel and Israfel? Hm?"

Shinji colored a bit. "Me," he mumbled.

"Damn straight. So straighten up and be proud of it, Shinji. You're more than good enough to fight with me. We're elite Eva Pilots, one in a billion. Don't you ever stop chasing me, either. You and me are the most dangerous people on the planet. There's no one else I'd trust to have next to me in a fight like you." Asuka stopped and blinked to herself. She hadn't intended to be that open. She hadn't even realized how true that statement was until she said it. But it was. The thought of going into a fight now without her baka-Shinji at her side was profoundly unappealing. When they were together, they _won_. "Until the end of the world, you and me, against the Angels and anything else that tries to hurt us."

Shinji turned in his seat to look straight at her. His mouth worked, but he couldn't seem to find the words. Eventually he just nodded, his eyes glistening a bit. He leaned forward to kiss her softly. "Yes."

A couple of kids at the front of the bus snickered at the two teens kissing in the back. Asuka eyed them disdainfully. _'Eh, no one we know. Screw it. They want to stare and laugh? Let's give them something to watch.'_ She grabbed Shinji and kissed him harder. "Mmm, and you keep doing that, Third. Always."

The bus rolled to a halt at their stop with a hiss of brakes. Shinji stood up, his hand halfway to helping her up before he remembered they shouldn't be seen doing that. Asuka too it anyhow. "Let's go have dinner," she smiled. "And get to bed."

.

On an unremarkable side street in the center of Tokyo-3, the perpetual summer sun of Japan's post-Second Impact altered climate beat down on a dark sedan, painting the pavement beneath it inky black with shadow. The air shimmered from the reflected heat off all the tall white buildings, but that couldn't account for how the black shadow began to bulge and spread, rapidly becoming bigger than the car, than the street, than the entire block...

-

"Five minutes until the evacuation of the Western District is complete!"

"Target is advancing slowly southwest at two point five kilometers per hour!"

Misato skidded to a stop as she finally made it to Central Dogma. "I'm here!" she shouted, trying to be heard over the screaming Angel alarm.

"You're late!" Ritsuko joked darkly.

"So sorry! What's the situation? Why didn't the radar observation station at Fuji pick it up?"

Lieutenant Aoba's hands flew over his keyboard, bringing up displays for every camare they had with a view on the giant black-and-white striped orb floating over the city. "It just suddenly appeared directly overhead, Major. No transition."

"Pattern Orange, no AT-Field detected!" Lieutenant Hyuga reported.

"What does that mean?" Misato asked.

Ritsuko shook her head. "A new kind of Angel?"

Misato wheeled on Lieutenant Ibuki. "MAGI analysis?"

"The MAGI are witholding judgment on if it's an Angel," the tech replied.

"What _else_ could it be?" Misato muttered. "Damn! Commander Ikari just has to be gone at a time like this, too. The Evas?"

"Already launched and on the surface. They're arming now from the weapons structures," Lieutenant Hyuga said.

Misato gestured for him to patch her through to them. "Pilots, can you all hear me? We're sending you all the data we have on the target. We don't know very much right now. Approach it carefully and observe its reactions. If possible, lure it into the airspace outside of the city limits. One of you take point and the other two are back up. Got it?"

"Yes, sensei~!" Asuka warbled cheerfully. I think that should be the obvious choice! Me, of course!"

Shinji gave her a quizzical look over the comm window. "Eh?"

"Well, this _is_ a job for the highest-scoring, utterly fearless number one Synch Rate holder, right? Me! Or do you think you've got the power to match me, Shin-chan?" she asked in a slightly mocking tone.

Shinji's jaw set. "I can do it! I'll show you how it's done, Asuka!"

"Oh, so Shin-chan thinks he's got the mojo now to keep up with me, does he? Misato said it, I'm Number One! Stay right on my ass, Third Child, and see if you can back me up, then! First, you give us long range cover fire!"

"Unit-00 will provide back up," Rei quietly acknowledged.

"It's a man's duty to fight!" Shinji said firmly.

"Please, first you've got to catch up to me, Third! Evangelion Unit-02, taking point!"

"Damn kids, running with it…" Misato grumbled.

"Shinji's gotten to be quite admirable lately, hasn't he?" Ritsuko observed. "And Asuka seems to be using him as a rival to push herself even further."

Misato kept a glare aimed at the main screens. "I'm still going to have to chew them both out when they get back. It's good they've got enthusiasm, but they need to keep it under control."

"You might just make a good teacher," her friend said.

"If I don't strangle them one day," Misato sighed. "Get the JSSDF units organized for the perimeter, Lieutenant."

.

Shinji ran Unit-01 up to the next building and put his back against it, peering around the corner at the flying Angel. It was huge, a striped sphere at least one hundred and fifty meters across, floating along with a weird buzzing sound. _'I don't see a Core, or eyes, or anything. Where are we supposed to attack it?'_ "Ayanami, Asuka, are you in position yet?"

"I am set," Rei replied.

"My power cable ran out of slack. Stand by one, I'm changing to a new cable," Asuka said. "I'll be four hundred meters on our left in ten seconds." There was a short pause before Asuka came back up again. "Alright, I'm in position. Third, I'll strike it with the axe, then you hit it when it reacts to me, got it? I'm counting on you."

Shinji nodded. "Ready." '_You can always count on me, Asuka. I promised.' _He gripped the pistol tighter in Unit-01's hand and breathed out.

Asuka took a deep breath and launched Unit-02 forward. She used a lower building as a step-stool to jump to a taller one. She flung Un it-02 off the top of the tower she'd identified as the closest building to the floating sphere. She gave a banshee howl as she swung her Eva-scaled Progressive Axe down on the Angel.

And hit air. The Angel vanished as she struck, the sphere evaporating from view. Asuka crashed back down to the street below, Unit-02 leaving two gigantic footprints stomped a meter into the asphalt. "What?!"

"It disappeared!" Ritsuko exclaimed in Central Dogma.

"Pattern Blue! Angel confirmed! Directly below Unit-02!" Hyuga shouted.

Misato spun towards him. "What?!"

Asuka looked down. "A shadow?!" The shadows beneath her feet had suddenly turned pitch black and spread out with no apparent source. Years of Evangelion Pilot training had honed her reflexes to a fine edge, and she instantly leapt into the air again, reaching the roof of a four-story building next to her. But just as soon as she reached that perch, the building itself began to sink into the blackness.

"What is this?! This think is fricking _weird_!" Asuka flung her axe at the black. The huge blade struck but vanished with no apparent effect on the Angel, like she'd thrown it into a vat of tar.

"Asuka, get out of there! Move!" Misato barked over the radio. Asuka's building had sunk until Unit-02's feet were once again almost at ground level, if that term even still applied.

"I know!" Asuka leapt again, sprining to another building fifty meters further away. "I did this on the high seas with baka-Shinji on my back! This is nothing!" She jumped again, her path becoming harder as more and more buildings began to sing and tilt as the Angel's shadow grew. "I'm… almost…" Jump, jump, jump… "At the edge of… _scheisse_!" The next building she'd been counting on as a landing spot was already sunken nearly out of sight, and had tilted as it went so that the lower corner was already below the shadow's surface. Asuka's foot came down where the corner should have been just below the surface, but met nothing. Her leg sank into the blackness and Unit-02 toppled forward.

"I can't feel my leg!" Asuka cried. "And… I can't pull it out!" Unit-02 grabbed at the stump of the building remaining above the surface and pulled, but her effort was futile, and the entire building continued to sink. She was already more than waist-deep. "Misato, I can't pull free! I can't feel anything below my stomach! It's… cold!"

Shinji gripped Unit-01's controls harder. She actually sounded… frightened. He tried to keep hisheart from clenching in matching terror. She had to be okay. She had to be. He willed his Eva to move faster. "I'm coming, Asuka! Hold on!" _'I have to save her. I have to save her!'_

"Eject the Entry Plug! Get her out of there!" Misato ordered.

"No good! Signal not received! The Plug won't eject!" Maya replied.

Misato cursed. "Damn! Shinji, Rei, rescue Unit-02, quickly!"

"Roger," Rei answered, just a hint of urgency in her voice. Unit-00 pounded towards the Angel.

Shinji was already at the edge of the still expanding shadow. Most of Unit-02 was already vanished below the surface. Just its head and one arm were still above the shadow. Shinji looked around hurriedly. There had to be something… There! There was the stub of another building about two-thirds of the way to Asuka. He frantically leapt for it, skidding to a stop at its edge. He could just reach Unit-02's hand. He grabbed for it. "Asuka, I'm here! Grab hold!"

Her hand grabbed at his and gripped with desperate strength, but she continued to sink. "Shinji! Don't let go! Don't let me go!" Unit-02's head sank below the black surface. "It's cold! The sensors are all going blank! I can't see anything! Shinji, can you still hear me?! Shinji?! _Don't leave m_-" Her voice dissolved into static as her hand and his dropped below the shadow.

"Asuka?! Talk to me, Asuka!" Shinji's hand went numb. The last of the building he was crouched on sank away, and his feet began to go numb too. He tried to concentrate on keeping his hand gripped anyway, but he couldn't feel if he still held Asuka's hand or not. "Asuka? Asuka?! Are you there? Asuka, answer me, please! Misato, I can't hear Asuka anymore, and I'm sinking too! Ayanami, help me!"

Rei sighted her rifle on the hovering sphere that had reappeared and fired off three shots. The sphere vanished before the shots could impact and the giant rifle rounds merely chewed up the building behind. Rei tossed the useless weapon aside and sprinted towards Unit-01. "Ikari-kun, I am here." She stretched out for his hand, but he was just out of reach. She wrapped her other arm around her power umbilical and put one foot in the blackness, leaning as far out as she could. She sank shin-deep in the darkness almost immediately, but it gave her enough reach to grab Unit-01's hand.

Rei threw Unit-00's weight back, pulling as hard as the titan's muscles would let her. Unit-01's sinking slowly stopped and reversed. Rei used the foot she still had on a hard surface to pull her other out of the shadow and step back, hauling Unit-01 after her.

Shinji couldn't completely stifle the near-sob that escaped him when his hand broke the surface… empty. "_Asuka_!" His breathing rapid rose to a pant and he could feel a cold sweat breaking out under his plugsuit. _'No no no no no no NO NO NO!'_

Misato grit her teeth. "Shinji… Rei… withdraw," she ground out.

"But…" Rei began.

"Asuka is still in there!" Shinji cried. "We have to-"

"Withdraw. That… that's an order."


	5. Ch 4 - Testing and Proving Pt 2

"Second tank squadron, arrangement completed."

"Roger. Hold current position and stand by."

"Sub-laser line opened. Data transmitted."

"Roger. Dispatched in C line," Aoba replied, and closed the link. He turned to Major Katsuragi. "The UN Force's siege formation is complete, Major."

Misato continued to glare at the Angel through the binoculars. "Shadow's status?"

"Immobile," Lieutenant Hyuga replied. "It ceased motion when it exceeded six hundred meters in diameter. But are the land troops useful?"

"They're intended to let us apply pressure," Misato said flatly. _'Right, that Angel really looks intimidated. Idiots.' _She lowered the binoculars. Rei and Shinji were standing nearby. She chewed her lip. She was almost as worried for Shinji as she was for Asuka. He... she'd known since the first time his name had been mentioned that Shinji was Commander Ikari's son, and had vaguely noted their physical resemblance, but this was the first time she'd really seen just how much alike they were in presence... Shinji's posture, his stare, the icy, repellent air... for the first time, Misato actually felt uncomfortable around Shinji... it was like he was an entirely different person.

And she thought she knew why. It hadn't escaped her notice the way the two of them had been calling for each other as Asuka sank. If the situation weren't so grim, she'd have smiled. _'Those two are... you've got to stop needing to dive in to save her from mortal peril like that, Shinji. Never stop doing it, though. Those two need a push. I should see what I can do to help them actually start talking to each other when we get her back. And we are damn well going to.'_

_._

Rei spent a lot of time watching the Third Child. She had passed much time in their classroom covertly observing him. He was one of the only people in the world who spoke to her at all on a regular basis. She was familiar with his mannerisms and habits. She knew he was not given to talking very much, even when with his few friends.

But this... this was different. Ikari-kun had not said a word in four hours, nothing at all since they'd been recovered from their Entry Plugs. He just stood and stared at the Angel hovering over the city. Even his stare was unusual. She had never seen him stare at anything the way he was staring at the Angel, like he was trying to burn a hole in it with his eyes. He was staring at it like... Commander Ikari.

Rei processed that thought some more. Yes, the stare, the rigid posture that radiated controlled tension... it was very much like the Commander. She... did not like to see Ikari-kun like this. It... disturbed her. Ikari-kun she had always associated with kindess, with gentleness. He was the one who spoke to her like a friend, who told her to smile, who... showed care for her.

This Ikari-kun... she wondered if he would even notice her behind him. She had been standing nearby for several minutes, listening to Major Katsuragi receive reports on the status of the JSSDF cordon and the estimated remaining time left on Unit-02's batteries in maximum endurance mode. But Ikari-kun had not moved, not made a sound. His only reaction had been to set the clock on his plugsuit's wrist with a matching countdown timer for Unit-02's batteries; twelve more hours.

_'He is concerned for Unit-02?' _Rei considered. _'No... he is concerned for the Second Child.'_

She had noted the Second and Third Children's interactions before. The Second's obvious interest in Ikari-kun was a source of irritation to Rei. The Second Child did not treat Ikari-kun kindly. This made Rei as close to angry as she really allowed herself to get. When the Second Child had approached her after her arrival, she had dismissed her largely because she saw no reason to associate with her. But afterwards she wished she had accepted her offer, if for nothing else than it would have provided her with a social avenue to express her displeasure at how she treated Ikari-kun.

The way Ikari-kun seemed to somehow return the Second Child's interest puzzled her. During the synchronization training, even though she had performed perfectly adequately with Ikari-kun after only one attempt, Major Katsuragi had still insisted that PIlot Soryu be Ikari-kun's partner. She had been correct in the end; Rei doubted she could have performed as well in the actual attack as the pair had, but still... More recently, Ikari-kun and Pilot Soryu had been acting... like they were _acting_, displaying a different attitude than they really felt. It was subtle, but Rei could see it. And now, he was acting very concerned about her. She had never seen him this tense.

"Ikari-kun."

His eyes flicked towards her, but he did not move.

"Ikari-kun... you are acting oddly. Why?"

His jaw worked for a moment. "I am worried about Asuka, Ayanami."

"Why?"

Shinji kept staring at the Angel. "She's... I Piloted against Sachiel to protect you, Ayanami. You protected me when we fought against Ramiel. I dove into Mount Asama to save Asuka. We have the most dangerous job in the world. I hate it that you or Asuka could die-" He suddenly stopped talking and pinched his eyes shut hard. It was a moment before he resumed. "Could die at any time. I don't want anyone I care about to die. And this time... I failed her. I had her hand in mine, she was begging me to save her, and... and... I couldn't. I couldn't do anything. I... what good..." He squeezed his fists so tight Rei could hear the rubbery material of his plugsuit creaking.

"So you would do the same for me?" Rei asked quietly. _'Even though if I die, I could be replaced?'_

Shinji turned to look at her. He looked surprised, the first expression besides coiled tension he'd worn since Unit-02 vanished. "Yes, of course, Ayanami! You... you're my friend! You are both very important to me. I'd do anything to save both of you!" He turned back towards the Angel. "We have to get her back. That matters more than anything, even my life." His voice dropped to barely more than a whisper. "I wish... you'd saved her instead of me."

Rei tried to think of what to say. He could not be replaced like her. Did he value himself so little? Even she was more important to him than himself? And the Second Child? She meant as much to Shinji as Rei herself? More? This... would require much thought.

Misato spoke up from behind them both. "No sacrificing yourself or anything, Shinji. You matter to people too. And we are _going_ to get her back. I still need to chew you both out together for rushing in like that, and I don't want to have to give that speech twice. You both try to get some rest. I'm going to see what Doctor Akagi has come up with for analysis of this thing."

.

Asuka flicked the sensors in Unit-02 on again. The Entry Plug flashed through the wild colors of its startup sequence before once again stabilizing into the exterior view. Or non-view, as it was showing now. Nothing but blank white nothing. Even her radar and sonar readouts read 'null'.

"Still only white noise. Radar and sonar get no response. This space must be just too vast," she muttered to herself. She'd been doing that more and more as the time wore on. It pushed the loneliness back a little. "It's been 12 hours since I switched to life-support mode... four or five hours left to think of something, Soryu. Come on, you're supposed to be a genius..."

She'd tried to sleep after the first few hours of futile attempts at radio contact, radar searches, anything she tried had proved fruitless. But sleep wouldn't come. When she powered off all the systems to save battery, the silence, emptiness, and the damned, damned loneliness pressed in on her. She hadn't realized just how comforting having Shinji lying next to her was, how easy sleep came to her these last few days. Not until she tried sleeping without him.

"Gott, you're pathetic, Soryu. Twelve hours, and you're missing baka-Shinji this bad? Feh." Concentrating on missing Shinji was still better than contemplating the inexorable ticking of the countdown timer on her wrist display. Four hours forty-seven minutes, forty-six, forty-five... "Stop it! He'll come. Or you'll think of something. You're smart and he's so brave he's an idiot. He's always saved you before. You're going to have to balance that score, by the way, or he's going to get a swelled head..." _'Oh, like you still wouldn't fricking cry tears of joy to see him right now.'_ "Fine, I admit it, I... Gott I wish he was here. Or better, I was home. Yeah, in _our_ bed. Gott... it's been three days. How am I already thinking of it like that? Missing it that bad? Because I don't feel alone there, that's why. I... I'm not alone I'm not alone I'm not alonenotalonenotalone-"

She bit her cheek hard to stop the babble. No. She was not doing this. No. She was _not_ having a fucking freak-out just because she was more alone than any human being had ever been... Lost in nowhere... His hand just evaporating out of her grip even as she held on for dear life...

She pounded her fist on her hip. The spark of pain helped her focus. "I am not alone! He's right there! Waiting for me! I just need to find a way out of here!" She ran another sweep with her sensors, then made herself shut it down again when it came up as empty of results as all the others. "I just have to think..."

She stared angrily at the walls of the Entry Plug for a minute. "...I feel hungry..." Shinji's heavenly cooking. Lunches to order. The Black Forest Cake he'd made her last night, a surprise...

Thinking of all that was better than the alternatives.

.

Doctor Akagi was deep into some lecture about the Angel. Shinji tried to listen, hoping she'd offer something to give him hope, but the advanced mathematical diagrams and jargon-laden explanation went mostly past him. The Angel was three nanometers thick? Inverted AT-Field? Imaginary space? The floating sphere was its five-dimensional shadow? What the Hell was a 'Sea of Dirac'? He shook his head.

Misato's expression wasn't encouraging. "So the black shadow that swallowed Unit-02 is the real target?"

Shinji 's right hand clenched and released, clenched and released. He'd defied Misato's order to withdraw to the extent of picking up Unit-00's dropped rifle and emptying its magazine into the shadow, doing his best to force it to give Asuka back. The shots had vanished into it without even a ripple. It was like shooting a cloud of smoke. "So what can we even _do_ to it?" he whispered. _'Your fault your fault your fault...'_

_._

Asuka snapped out of her semi-doze with a start. Something was moving across her field of view! She blinked, then slumped back down. It was just more tiny bits of stuff floating through the increasingly murky LCL.

_'Damn. The filters are giving out. No more power for the purification system. Ugh.' _She coughed. "It's starting to smell... like blood. Dirty blood."

Asuka snapped her hands into fists. She had spent most of her life around LCL. She hardly even noticed its smell or taste anymore. Does a fish notice water? But now it was off. It was the cold. It had to be the cold that was making her hands start to shake. Had to be. And the increasing thickness of the stale LCL was why she was starting to pant. That's all. It was not panic breathing. She was not starting to panic because she had less than an hour left in her batteries and she was alone and cold and so tired and she wanted Shinji and someone help me please please please I don't want to die alone I don't want to die I don't want to

The pain in her hands finally made her realize she was pounding on the Entry Plug hatch and screaming.

She huddle back in the seat, wrapping her arms around herself. She tried to recall the feeling of Shinji's arms around her. She would not cry. She had not cried since the day... the day she found her mother. The only other person who had made her feel better.

"I'm not alone, I'm not alone, I'm not alone," she whispered. "He's just like me. I'd be finding a way to save him, so he'll come for me." She squeezed her arms around herself tighter. "Mama... please... help me..."

.

Misato's look at her oldest friend was anything but friendly. "What?" Her tone of voice would have sent sensible people running for cover. Doctor Akagi did not move.

"It's the only way we've got," Ritsuko said. "Dropping one hundred N2 mines on the center of the shadow timed for simultaneous detonation within one millisecond, plus using Units-01 and -00 to interfere with the Angel's AT-Field should concentrate enough explosive force to break the Angel along with the Dirac Sea that forms its body."

"There's no way Unit-02 can take that kind of impact! Asuka wouldn't... Hell, this is no rescue mission!" Misato declared.

"Killing the Angel is more important than anything else. I'd have thought you'd be on-board with that, Major Katsuragi." Ritsuko's voice was clinical, detached and level. "In this operation, the destruction of the Angel takes top priority. We do not care if Unit-02 is destroyed. Commander Ikari has declared Unit-02 expendable. Even an Eva Unit is acceptable losses if it means destroying the Angel. Recovering Unit-02 is secondary."

Misato bristled. "You mean recovering Unit-02 _and the Pilot_, right?"

"In this case, the Pilot's life is of no concern," Ritsuko said dismissively.

Ritsuko's glasses made a tiny clatter as they hit the ground by her feet. The small sound was lost in the resounding echoes of the full-arm slap that rocked the scientist off her feet and sent her stumbling backwards. Misato's face was a picture of fury. _'That's one of my __**kids**__, you heartless bitch!'_

Ritsuko glared daggers at Misato as she rubbed at her reddening cheek and picked up her glasses. "If Asuka dies, it's your fault! Just remember that!"

Misato grabbed the front of Ritsuko's shirt and got right in her face."Why is Unit-02 'expendable'? What's different between it and Unit-01 or Unit-00? What the Hell is an Eva?" she shouted at her.

"The material I gave you tells you everything regarding Eva," Ritsuko replied icily.

"Bullshit! You're lying!"

"Trust me, Misato." Ritsuko walked past her, back towards the command post. "I am taking command of this entire operation." She pulled out a cell phone and began ordering the JSSDF to divert local air traffic to Kankuu Airport.

Misato started at her friend's retreating back. _'Second Impact, the Human Instrumentality Project, Adam, Eva... NERV has too many secrets I'm being kept in the dark about...'_

_._

The train car swayed and clattered as the train rolled past undiscernable countryside. The orange glow of the setting sun backlit the child-sized form in the other side of the car, rendering it impossible for Asuka to make out the little girl's face. She had hair ornaments like hers, though. All Asuka felt was a muzzy, almost numb sense of curiosity about the shadowed figure in the striped shirt that sat across from her. "Who are...?"

"Asuka Langley Soryu," the figure said.

Was that an answer, or an address? "That's me," Asuka replied, vaguely puzzled.

"I am you," the little girl answered. "One has another self within the self. The 'self' has always consisted of two selves."

"Two?"

"The self who is actually watched by others, and the self which watches itself. The Asuka Langley Soryu in Shinji Ikari's mind, the Asuka Langley Soryu in Misato Katsuragi's mind, the Asuka Langley Soryu in Hikari Horaki's mind, the Asuka Langley Soryu in Rei Ayanami's mind, all are different from the others, but each is a true Asuka Langley Soryu. You're afraid of the Asuka Langley Soryu in others' minds," said the figure.

"I'm afraid of being abandoned," Asuka said.

"You hate being hurt. You are afraid of being discarded as worthless. Are you afraid you have no value?"

"I am an elite Eva Pilot! I am the best, Number One!" Asuka protested. "I am valued!"

"You fear you are only of worth because you are a Pilot?"

"Shinji values me! More than anyone! Just because of who I am! He likes me! He... loves me?" Asuka stopped and considered the thought. It made her heart beat faster, a little afraid, but she wanted to know the answer. "And... and... Misato and Hikari value me too!"

"Is it enough to be valued by others, if you do not value yourself?"

"It always has been," Asuka said. "Everyone does it. People live by doing so."

"But if you believe yourself to be worthless at heart, dont' you fear they will come to share that belief and discard you anyway?"

"He won't! He promised! I believe in him! He's just like me!" Asuka cried. "We are together!"

"He is just like you. Does he believe he is worthless too?"

"Yes... but he's wrong. He has protected me and others. He holds me and makes me happy. He makes me better. When we are together, I don't feel lonely anymore. I will not leave him."

The figure seemed more curious. "Being with him, the other who values you for who you are, ends the loneliness?"

"Yes. That's something I've wanted all my life. And he does it. He needs me too, just like I need him. We make each other whole."

"But still you have held back. You have been afraid of that last step. Do you regret that now?"

Asuka thought about it. "I have been afraid... but I know he was too. We've been afraid of hurting each other, and of being hurt. But... I trust him. I've never trusted anyone like this. But... I want to. I want him to be with me completely. So no matter what happens in the future, I'll know there will be at least one person who mourns my memory when I'm gone."

"Well... that's good for you."

.

_'Your fault... What good are you? Useless. Worthless. She was begging you, and you let her go...'_ "No! I didn't! I tried to hold on!" _'You said you'd show her how to do it. So arrogant. She charged in to stay ahead of you. You got her killed.'_ "She's not dead! She! Is! Not! _Dead_! We'll get her back! We will!" He gripped the control yokes of Unit-01 until his hands shook. "We have to..."

"Shinji?" Misato's voice broke in on the private fight between his guilt and despair against his desperate hope. "Get ready. The bombers are on their way. We're five minutes from the mark."

"Misato-san... I don't like this plan. How... how can we be sure Asuka can even survive the blast?"

Misato avoided his eyes. "Her batteries will be all but drained by now, Shinji. We have to try something before it's too late, or there'll be no hope at all."

_'She didn't answer my question.'_ "Misato-san..."

"I know, Shinji. I don't like it either. But we don't have any other options. Four minutes."

_'Like Hell we don't. I'll find one. I'll make one if I have to. If I have to tear this Angel to pieces myself, I will.'_ Shinji set his jaw. _'What good is being an Eva Pilot if I can't protect someone I care about? Doctor Akagi said Asuka is still inside the Angel, somewhere... I have this power... I'm going to use it. Anything I have to...'_

He was more than ready. He had four minutes to make this work. He pushed his will against the Eva and felt its AT-Field unfold, pressing against the Angel's. He felt the resistance as soon as he made contact. He gathered all his will, his rage, his _need_ to see Asuka again... and struck.

.

Evangelion Unit-01 threw back its head and _**roared**_.

.

In the command truck, Maya blinked in surprise at her readouts. "Shinji... Shinji's already deploying his AT-Field! It's... the readings are stronger than we've ever seen from Unit-01. His Synch Score just hit 81%!"

Doctor Akagi narrowed her eyes at the screens. The Angel's AT-Field was reacting, rippling like Shinji was hitting a sheet of metal over and over again with a sledgehammer. "He's too early! This won't do anything!"

Misato grabbed up the comm headset she'd just put down. "Shinji, what the Hell are you doing?!" she demanded.

.

"Give! HER! **BACK!**"

.

Asuka pried her eyes open again. It was getting harder each time. The LCL was now too murky for her to see the far end of the Entry Plug, and getting very cold. She huddled in the seat, trying to stay warm. The faint red light on her plugsuit's wrist showing the time left on the life support battery pulsed one last time and faded out. She watched it die, and tried not to whimper.

"So that's it? I hate this place. I don't want to be alone. Want my Shinji. Need Shinji. He promised. I don't want to die... Misato...Shinji, I'm sorry. I should have... promised... you..."

She coughed weakly. "Mama... help me..." Her eyes sank closed again. "...elp me..."

She felt a warm hand cradle her face. A familiar presence wrapped itself around her. As her consciousness faded out, she thought she heard a voice saying her name.

Outside, four green lights suddenly burst to life in the emptiness.

.

**"GIVE! ****HER! ****BACK!****"**

The Angel's AT-Field was heaving like a sea in full gale now. All the instruments in the command truck were reporting impossible highs and lows, sometimes simultaneously. The floating sphere began to shake and emit strange noises.

"What the Hell is he _doing_?" shouted Doctor Akagi.

**"AYANAMI! HELP ME!"** Shinji screamed.

On the comm display screen, Misato saw the Fist Child freeze in indecision. She had been ordered to wait, and Misato had never seen her disobey an order. But her concern for Shinji was visible enough on her face that Misato could even see it through Rei's usual blankness. _'What the Hell, whatever Shinji's up to, it can't be worse than Ritsuko's 'Nuke Everything' plan.'_ She keyed her handset. "Rei, do it! Assist Unit-01!" she ordered.

Doctor Akagi snapped her look around to Misato. "What?! No!"

"N2 Mine drop in ninety seconds!" Lieutenant Aoba announced.

An expression almost like relief flickered across Rei's face. "Roger, deploying AT-Field."

The addition of Unit-00's AT-Field increased the shaking of the hovering sphere. Suddenly, the black shadow on the ground shattered, erupting into jagged shards like it was a sheet of glass that had been abruptly dropped on the floor. The breaks were all lined in red the color of fresh blood.

The sphere stopped shaking, and one side began to bulge outward as something pushed from inside. A line of red appeared at the peak of the bulge, breaking into an open split. A huge red hand, its fingers curled into claws, tore its way out of the gap. A second hand grabbed the edge of the split and tore it open wider. A demonic head, four green eyes blazing like small stars, emerged next. Unit-01's continuing roar was joined by the bloody howl of the newcomer.

The red giant tore the hole wider still, and the sphere gave out, shredding into bloody chunks. Gory bits of Angelic flesh rained down everywhere as the huge titan landed on the ground once again, dripping with the blood of its kill.

Unit-02 was back.

A distant part of Shinji's mind noted he probably should be shocked and disturbed by the hunched, bestial posture of Unit-02, or the low, animalistic growling still coming from both the red Eva and his own. That part was truly distant right now, however. The rest of him was consumed by towering joy. "_She's back!_" he shouted.

In the command truck, Doctor Akagi listened to the exultant roars of the god-machines, and shivered. "What... what kind of creature did we copy from?" she whispered fearfully.

Misato narrowed her eyes at her friend. _'I understand that EVA isn't just a copy of the First Angel, but how is NERV going to use the EVAs after it defeats every Angel?'_

Outside, with blood raining down from the dying Angel, Unit-01 threw its fists into the air and roared in triumph. And Unit-02 answered it.

.

Misato barely waited for the support crewman to hose the hatch of the Entry Plug clean before pushing him aside and opening it herself. She threw the hatch open and thrust her head and shoulders inside. "Asuka?! Asuka, are you alright?!"

The faintest glitter of blue eyes peered back at her from the young girl slumped in the control seat. "Misato?"

Asuka's eyes opened a fraction more as her Operations Director suddenly threw her arms around her and began to cry in relief. _'I... she does care about me?'_ It wasn't as nice as one of Shinji's hugs, but still felt very nice. _'Thinking of which...'_

Over Misato's shoulder, looking almost as tired as she felt, was the Third Child. Shinji. Her Shinji. No one else could see his face from where he stood, so he was smiling at her. Right now, he'd never looked better to Asuka. "I just... wanted to see you again," she murmured, letting Misato assume it was for her. The way Shinji's smile widened a bit let her know he'd heard her and understood who it was meant for.

Even more surprisingly, the First Child was standing just a little behind Shinji. "You are supposed to chide her and Ikari-kun for their lack of discipline now, are you not, Major Katsuragi?" she asked quietly.

Misato finally released her hug on Asuka and looked back at Rei. She laughed, wiping at her cheeks. "Yeah, I did promise that, didn't I?" She turned back to Asuka. "Once you're out of the doc's, I'm going to give you both such a talking to, but right now I'm just happy you're alive."

Asuka nodded tiredly, and decided now was a good time to pass out.

.

She came back to the land of the waking in a bed. The scent of antiseptics and the beeps of medical monitoring gear let her know she was in the Geofront hospital even before she pried her eyes open. Once she did, she smiled tiredly to see Shinji slumped in a chair next to her bed, drooling slightly on his collar as he slept. She blinked in surprise to see Rei Ayanami sitting right next to him, reading a small book.

Rei looked up at the motion of Asuka's head. "PIlot Soryu. I am pleased to see you are alright."

"Wondergirl? What are you..." _'Er, edit, edit...'_ "Both doing here?"

Rei nodded her head at the sleeping Third Child. "Ikari-kun said 'She shouldn't have to wake up alone. None of us should ever have to feel alone again", so we stayed to greet you when you awoke," she said softly. "Ikari-kun fell asleep soon after we got here. He had not slept since you vanished."

Asuka struggled to keep her face blank as she looked at the sleeping Pilot. "Baka," she whispered.

"I am glad to see you back alive and unharmed, Pilot Soryu. Ikari-kun was extremely distressed at your absence. He was very upset by his failure to rescue you last night. He said we should all protect each other, because we are important to each other. I think he is right." She looked at Shinji. "He has protected me many times. I have protected him. He has protected you. Next time, will it be you for me, or me for you?" Rei stood up and walked to the door.

Asuka was stunned. "You... we don't exactly get along, Wondergirl. You'd still do that? Risk your life for me?"

Rei paused at the door and nodded over her shoulder. "Yes. Ikari-kun says this is important, and ... I trust him when he says that. And... you are important to him. His happiness is important to me. So I will protect you as well. I will see you at school tomorrow. Goodnight." She opened the door and left, quiet as a ghost.

_'Did... did Wondergirl really mean all that? She sure sounded like she did.'_ Asuka shook her head gently. _'Not such a doll as I thought, maybe?'_ She looked at Shinji. She glanced at the obvious camera in the corner of the room, bitterly regretting that she couldn't just wake him up and tell him to cuddle in with her. Right now, she wanted to feel him snuggled up against her almost more than she wanted to keep breathing. She flopped back on the bed, but smiled at him. "Baka. Diving in after me again. And I didn't wake up cold and alone. Just like he promised."

Shinji stirred, waking. He blinked sleepily, then burst into a smile that made Asuka's heart flutter when he focused on her and saw she was awake. "Asuka!" He grabbed her hand.

She growled "Hands _off,_baka-Shinji!"

He froze like a deer in the headlights. She winked the eye away from the camera and flicked her eyes that way. He got it, letting go of her hand and pulling back with a stammered apology.

"Don't you put your hands on me without asking, baka-Shinji! I'm a delicate flower! Humph!" she grumbled with as much of her usual aggression as she could muster. "And you better not have been slacking off on your cooking for me!"

Shinji blinked, confused. "Asuka?"

"I said, I want to know what you're making me for my dinner, baka-Shinji!" She made damn sure her face was away from the camera before giving him another, slower wink. "I'm _really_'hungry'. How soon can I get out of here and we go home?

Shinji blinked again... and then blushed.

.

Misato had been caught up in the massive clean-up of the shredded remains of the Angel and the damage its bizarre shadow had done to Tokyo-3. She promised she'd chew them out later, but the fond smile she'd given them when she said it made Asuka feel better than most praise she got. She'd told them to head on home with a Section 2 car to drop them off.

Home. Her room had never felt so welcoming as now. Especially as she took in the best part; her baka-Shinji, lying right next to her. She'd dived into a brief shower to wash away the lingering smell of rotted LCL and blood that still clung to her while Shinji made a quick meal for them both. In less time than anyone would have thought, Asuka was clean, fed, and comfortably burrowed into Shinji's arms in her... _their_ bed.

_'Not alone. Home. This is where I want to be. This is where I want to stay.'_Asuka ighed. This was the perfect antithesis of the cold and isolation she'd spent yesterday in. She shivered at the memory, then buried it with the wave of contentment she felt right now. Slightly blurry memories of things she'd thought in there, like half-remembered dreams, floated to the surface. There was something she'd wanted to say, something she'd wanted to do...

"Shinji?"

"Mmm?"

"This is nice."

"Mmhmm."

"I... really missed this, in there. It was the opposite of this; cold, lonely, lost... I hated it. But... thinking of you helped, because it reminded me I wasn't alone. I don't even want to think what it would have been like without that, if I didn't have memories like this to hold on to." She squeezed him. "But it made me think... what if I couldn't get out? What if that was it? I know it's only been a few days since we... admitted we like each other, but we can both feel how strong it is. When I'm with you, I don't feel alone anymore. We've both been... holding back a little, because we're afraid of getting hurt, but... I don't want to hold back anymore."

She could feel his heartbeat speeding up to match hers. "Asuka?" he asked hesitantly. "I... don't want to either. I... I was going a little crazy, thinking I might have lost you... or that it was my fault. If you hadn't come back... I..."

"I know. You're just like me. I know how I'd have felt." She swallowed, gathering her nerve. "Shinji, I... really like you."

"I really like you too, Asuka."

"And I decided, in there, that... I trust you. I know you won't hurt me. And I don't want to have any regrets in the next battle about things I could have done but didn't. So... I want you to be mine. Completely."

"Asuka, what do you-"

"And I want to be yours."

"I don't-" Shinji froze. His eyes went wide. "Asuka... do you mean...?"

She nodded.

Shinji gulped. "I... I... Asuka... um... what about... before, you said..."

"I don't care about protection, not right now. I could have died in there, more alone than anyone has ever been. You're already closer to me than anyone else has ever been. I want every bond between us we can have. You gave me strength in there. I want you, Shinji. All of you. Tonight." She brought her hand up to stroke his face. "We're alive, together, and... in love. I love you, Shinji. I want to be yours."

She was unsurprised to see tears starting to flow down his face. Only her vow to herself at her mother's graveside stopped her from joining in. But tonight... maybe it was alright to do it. For him.

"I... I love you too," he whispered hoarsely. "I... couldn't have stood it, losing you. Yes, I am yours, always." He buried his face in her hair and just held on to her. Suddenly he stiffened in shock. "Er..."

Asuka wiped her cheeks dry. His tears, must have been. She raised an eyebrow as he pulled back far enough to see her face. He was blushing. "'Er'? Yes?"

"Um... after that first night, when you mentioned protection, I... found one of those machines at lunch, and... um... bought a couple. They're in my room."

Asuka blinked. "You..." She laughed. "You, baka-Shinji, the world's least optimistic Eva Pilot, felt so good about your chances with me you went right out and got all ready for it? The very next day? More than one?" She laughed some more. "Oooh, my pervy baka-Shinji! You _are_ just like me!" She pulled him into a wild kiss. "Mine!"

.

Asuka stared at the moon out the tiny window of her room. Wow. She'd never felt so... relaxed. Shinji's slow, even breathing behind her was the most soothing sound in the world. _'I... may owe Misato an apology. I had no idea it felt this good. I might be a bigger perv than she is.'_

A tiny thought intruded on her peace; a last fragmentary memory of the Dirac Sea. Just before she faded out... _'Did... I thought I heard my mother? Was I just hallucinating? And my batteries were drained, totally. How did I get Unit-02 to do all that? When Misato told me what had happened, she had to show me the footage to prove it. Why don't I remember any of it? What really happened in there?'_

She gave a mental shrug. She wouldn't get any answers tonight. And she could talk to Shinji tomorrow. She _would_ talk to Shinji tomorrow. She rolled over to look at him. Hers. The one who could understand. Having someone so close she knew she could tell him everything and know he'd believe her was... it made her feel as good as everything they'd just done. She curled herself around him and let herself drift to sleep. _'Mine.'_

_._

_._

Canon is officially out the window, Shinji and Asuka have truly come together, and the ripples from that will change everything. Now they have to somehow hide the fact they are happier than they've ever been from everyone, lest that happiness be taken from them. And not go nuts in the process.

Next time on 'Advice and Trust': School Days, Maskirovka, and Other Combat Scenarios

And of course, there'll be more _fanservice!_

/Misato voice

Author's Note: Going to be a slightly longer gap between this chapter and the next, as I now need to plot out some of the ripples and how they affect key players who have yet to appear, especially a certain someone's father.

I'm talking, of course, about Mr. Horaki. Who did you think I meant? :P

Many thanks to Stargrave for letting me bounce ideas off them that helped me get this far, and to Daeleniel-Shadowphyre, my RL bride and beta.

Keep the reviews coming, everyone. They're what made me take this from a WAFFy one-shot to a possible re-write of the whole thing all the way to the end. I've already got an end mostly figured out, and I don't think anyone will see it coming. :)


	6. Ch 5 - Before The Storm Pt 1

Chapter 4

Before The Storm

Shinji felt like dancing. So he did.

He hummed happily to himself, tripping lightly around the apartment's small kitchen as he prepared everyone's breakfasts, plus lunches for himself and Asuka. _'I wish I had time to play a little before we leave for school. I've never felt so... this.'_ He closed his eyes for a second and replayed the memory again, of the words he never thought he'd hear, _especially _from her.

_'I love you, Shinji. I want to be yours.'_

He forced back yet another round of joyful tears. He'd already done that twice this morning.  
He'd never felt like this. He wasn't alone. She loved him _back_!

He started humming _Ode to Joy_ a little louder. Today was going to be wonderful. He felt like the whole world was new. He spun around again, exuberantly flipping Pen Pen's fish up out of the frying pan as he went.

Misato clapped lightly in approval. "Not bad, Shin-chan! Impressive!"

_'OhholyshitMisatowhendidshegetthere?!'_ "AAAAA!" he yelped. Pen Pen's fish missed his suddenly disrupted attempt at a catch, but managed to land right in the penguin's bowl on the floor. Pen Pen didn't seem to mind the sudden delivery and dove right in.

"And you hit his bowl too! Good aim!" Misato continued cheerfully. His still sleep-rumpled guardian scratched idly at her stomach as she walked into the dining area and took a seat at the table. "Good morning," she yawned.

"Misato-san! Um, good morning!" Shinji tried to get his heart rate back down. _'Did she see-'_

"Feeling pretty good this morning, Shin-chan?" Misato's expression turned sly. "Really? Singing and dancing around the kitchen at this hour? If you don't cool your jets, Asuka's going to wake up and see you, and I bet she'll guess why~..." she teased with a wink.

_'Oh shit, she knows she knows she knows...'_

"I mean, you might as well tell her you're happy she's back, Shin-chan. What's the worst that could happen? She'll call you a baka again? Maybe this time your sweet words will sweep her off her feet, and she'll suddenly confess how cute she finds you!" Misato chuckled.

"Please don't tell anyone I was doing this, Misato-san!" Shinji said, panicked. "I... I don't want her to..." _'Move out? Leave? Ever be away again? Nope, can't say any of those...'_

Misato gave him a calming wave. "Easy, Shinji-kun. I won't tell her. But you don't want her to know you like her? I can tell you do." She grinned at him.

"I... I like things the way they are right now," he managed to stutter.

"Alright, but remember, nothing will change unless you take that first step forward! But seriously, Shinji, I can tell you're happy about it. I bet Asuka is happy to be back here too, though she may not say so to you. You won't have to duck her yelling at you at school today, anyway."

Shinji locked his knees to keep from collapsing in relief. _'Oh gods, we're safe. She doesn't know.'_ "Um, why not?"

"You'll be going to school alone, I'm afraid. Asuka has to come in to NERV with me for a full day of debriefs and checks. The data recorders in Unit Zero-Two were a low-priority system, so they died after just a few hours into that as the batteries ran down. So she'll need to fill us in the old fashioned way about what she saw inside that Angel, and anything she can tell us about why Unit Zero-Two was acting like it did when she returned."

Shinji smothered the disappointed look that wanted to wash across his face. Not seeing her all day? But... It wasn't just the not being close to her. She'd mentioned before he fell asleep that she wanted to talk with him about what she'd seen, something strange right before she'd passed out. She'd been pretty intent about it. Something about... her mother's voice? They'd been planning to talk about it at lunch, if they could find a place they wouldn't be seen by their friends having a close, perfectly civil conversation. That would blow their 'cover'.

"So... will you be back in time for dinner?" he asked tentatively. "I'd like to make a nice 'welcome home' meal, at least."

Misato laughed again. "Yes, we'll be back in time for that. Going to make a feast for your sweetie, hmm?"

"Misato..." he whined, blushing. '_My sweetie, my girlfriend, my __**lover**__ oh holy crap oh gods she loves me she loves me she loves me!_' He blushed harder.

Misato, fortunately, misinterpreted his nearly incandescent flush. "Aww, did I blow your mind with that one, Shin-chan? Can't handle that idea yet? I'll let you off this time, but you should tell her someday, you know."

"Yes, Misato-san." '_Every day from now on, I will._'

.

"Yo, Shin-man. What are you lookin' so happy about?"

Shinji blinked back to the present. He'd been miles away, reliving the memory again. "I'm sorry?" he asked Touji.

"You're just staring into space and smiling all funny. What's up? You're usually not so spaced out, man," his friend asked.

"I'm sorry. Um... We... we beat that Angel yesterday, and everyone is safe. I'm happy about that." _'And she loves me. I still can't believe it._'

"Yeah, we saw a whole bunch of weapon buildings were just _gone_ downtown this morning!" Kensuke put in eagerly. "That must have been some fight! Tell us everything, Shinji!"

'_Asuka almost died because I messed up, I nearly went crazy because of that, and then the Evas went rabid..._' "Um... I'm not supposed to talk about it. But Asuka almost got hurt, and I'm really glad she's okay."

Touji snorted. "So the Red Demon's okay, great, the devil's probably too scared to take her to Hell or she'll take over the place," he mocked. "But some on, Shin-man, that doesn't explain why you're acting all goofy. Wait... She almost got hurt?" An evil grin spread across the jock's face. "You got to see her in one of those short hospital gowns, didn't ya?" He whistled. "Man, she may have the friendly personality of a porcupine, but mmmm does she have nice legs! So what'd ya see, man?"

"Touji! It wasn't anything like that!" Shinji tried to stop reddening. '_Oh, I saw more than her legs!_'

Touji smiled wider. "Ah ha! You look like a tomato! So you did see something! Tell us!"

"I did not peep on Asuka in a hospital gown!"

"Well you must have seen something that's got you all smiling and blushing!" Touji pressed. "Didya see her in just a towel after a shower or somethin'? Man, you musta seen somethin'! You're so lucky, living with a hot babe like Misato and one of the hottest girls in school, even if she is a demon."

"I'm going to tell her you said that," Shinji muttered. "And Horaki-san."

Touji blinked at the sudden riposte. "Er... yeah, um, like, why would I care if you tell the Class Rep?" he said nervously. "O-or the Red Demon?"

"Soryu might kill you on general principles for even looking at her, dude," Kensuke said. "And the Class Rep... well, come on." He rolled his eyes at Touji.

Touji launched into another loud declaration of how he didn't have anything to do with the 'pigtailed dictator', and Shinji sighed in relief. Saved, for now. He tried to suppress the smile that wanted to grow again. '_She loves me. There's someone who wants me to hold them. I'll see her after school._' The smile won.

.

"How long is this going to take, doc?" Asuka grumbled. She made herself sit still. For the first time in years, the walls of the Test Plug felt uncomfortably confining. "I think I've spent enough time in Entry Plugs the last twenty-four hours to last me all week."

Doctor Akagi just stared at the readouts in the observation room. "Just a few more hours, Asuka. Then we can get on to the neuro-physical exam and the debriefing."

"A few more _hours_? And then more crap?" Asuka complained.

"You spent sixteen hours inside an Angel yesterday, Asuka. This is a unique event, and we want to make sure there was no mental contamination or other effects."

"Mental contamination?" Asuka asked, worry rising.

"Your readings were all over the map when you... broke out of the Angel." The lab-coated woman paused like she wanted to say something else. "We want to be sure it didn't affect you negatively. Now go through exercise eight again, from step three."

.

"No."

"Yes, you are."

"No."

"Asuka, you had a four point rise in Synch Rate in the last test over your baseline from the week before. Four points and _steady_. Shinji-kun had a _six_ point rise. And you and he both spiked higher than that against the Angel. He hit eighty-three percent at peak, and you had..." Doctor Akagi shuffled her notes. "The monitors recorded up to one hundred and eight-seven percent for you, but that can't be right. You did have an average five points higher than your norm for what parts of the readings we can rely on. Rei has gone up only one point three percent in the last four months, no matter what we do to the equipment. So whatever it is that you and Shinji have had happen from the synchronization training you did or from living together, we need to see if we can get it to work for Rei as well. So yes, we are _ordering_ her to spend all her time with you and the Third Child. And you will follow that order. She will stay with you and Shinji on the way to school, at school, and as much time after school as possible, plus weekends, all of it." She fixed Asuka with an implacable stare.

Asuka sent one right back. "I am not spending all of my miniscule free time with fricking _Wondergirl_."

"Until we can get the same sort of Synch Rate boost that you two are showing, yes, you are. Commander Ikari has already confirmed my proposal. You think you're going to go argue with him?" the Project E head bluntly replied. She put the notes down and picked up an alcohol wipe and syringe. "Now stick out your arm so I can get a blood sample. This physical is the last step before the debriefing."

Asuka ground her teeth. '_Fucking __**great**__! Shinji and I finally go all the way __**once**__, and now we're going to get cockblocked every waking minute by __**Wondergirl**__?! How the Hell are we supposed to find time to be together? Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! At least this isn't a full physical. Even doctor dye-job here would notice I'm suddenly missing a little something since last check! Hmm, on that thought..._' "Fine! And you're a doctor, so can I get some damn medicine, then?"

Doctor Akagi drew the blood sample and wiped away the tiny bead of blood left behind when she withdrew the needle. "What do you need, Asuka? You're not ill, as far as I can tell."

"I have really bad cramps and stuff every time I get my period. I want you to get me on the Pill so I can smooth that out. I'm tired of feeling like I've been punched in the ovaries every month." _Plus, Shinji's only got two condoms left and I don't like leaving physical evidence for Misato to find anyway.'_

The blond scientist sighed. "Fine, we can get you a contraceptive implant. That will totally block your periods for about a year. It's what I use. Now come on. Major Katsuragi is waiting for us in the briefing theater to go other the battle with us."

.

"...and then you opened the hatch. I don't really remember the landing or anything. It's all pretty blurry towards the end, anyway," Asuka finished. She stared at the still image of Unit-02 standing amid the shredded bits of the Angel, covered in blood. It truly looked like a demon.

Misato looked at her notes and frowned. Asuka's memories were pretty fuzzy towards the last part of her imprisonment in the Angel, after the batteries for the recorders had died. Unfortunately, that was exactly the part they had the most questions about, especially how Unit-02 had been so violently active after it should have been effectively out of power entirely. Asuka had confessed to vague memories of talking to herself, but said she couldn't really recall what she'd said.

Asuka tried not to squirm when Misato looked at her. She could tell Misato thought her statements about not remembering what had been said weren't entirely forthcoming. Misato had too much time as Asuka's guardian and roommate in the past to be fully fooled by her poker face. _'I really, really hope she doesn't press on that. Telling her it was mostly little me asking about Shinji and I, and what we believe about each other isn't the kind of thing I want to see put down in an official NERV report where everyone can see it.'_

She concentrated on looking tired and annoyed, which wasn't hard. Despite the fantastic night with Shinji, she still felt wrung out and unsettled from yesterday, and really wanted some downtime. Preferably _with_ Shinji. Not just for getting him horizontal again; she really needed to talk to him. She'd withheld mentioning anything about possibly hearing her mother's voice. That felt... private. Personal. To be shared only with those she truly trusted. And as much as she might trust _Misato_, she wasn't sure she could trust Major Katsuragi to keep something like this from her chain of command.

But Shinji... She knew he would understand why she'd held this piece back. They'd promised they'd share their stories of losing their mothers tonight. The prospect of finally sharing that story with anyone still frightened Asuka, but... with Shinji it somehow didn't feel as bad. And if she was going to share that tale, she was damn well going to do it while holding him close enough she could feel his heartbeat and... catch the tears she knew she wouldn't be able to restrain. She hadn't let her self cry in ten years, not since she made that promise at her mother's graveside. But now... Shinji wouldn't tell. It was safe to tell him things like that. _'Gott... I really do love him, if I can think like that.'_

"Asuka, pay attention!" Misato snapped, breaking her wandering thoughts.

"Sorry, I... I'm a little tired." _'Great, now I sound like him, too.'_ "You were saying?"

Misato pressed her lips together. "The Human Instrumentality Committee, the UN body that oversees NERV, wants to interview you about this attack. I tried to put them off by telling them you were not in shape for it, but they're insistent. I've told them to keep it short."

Asuka widened her eyes a little. "When?"

"Right now. They're waiting for us in the teleconference room upstairs. Come on."

.

"Pilot Soryu, in this incident, do you believe what you experienced was the Angel trying to contact a human being?" The Committee member's voice, whiny and nasal with a noticeable French accent to his Japanese, queried at her like she was a curious new species of bug on his plate.

Asuka kept her face as mask-like as possible. She and Misato stood in the center of a beam of light from overhead in an empty holographic-capable conference room. She couldn't even see their interrogators in the dark, just hear their voices, but they all sounded ancient. These old men gave her the serious creeps , and she hated people poking their noses into her business as it was. She would almost have preferred she was still wearing her plugsuit rather than the school uniform Doctor Akagi had let her change into to make the physical easier. At least then her familiar identity as a Pilot could have felt like armor against these weird old men. "I don't think so, sir. When it swallowed Unit-02 it seemed more like its basic attack. I saw nothing at all inside until the life support was failing. I believe what I saw was just my brain suffering under the failing environmental conditions, not any outside attempt at contact."

"If, and only if, you are remembering it correctly," another member said.

"No external tampering with her memory was detected, according to Doctor Akagi's examination and tests," Misato said firmly.

"Unit-02's AC recorder was not functioning, so there's no way to confirm that," a third member pointed out. "Explain what you recall, Pilot."

Asuka hesitated, trying to conduct a rapid mental edit. "I... it was like I had eaten too much spicy food and fallen asleep reading Satre or something. Just a weird conversation with myself about... the self, and loneliness. It didn't make much sense."

"Was the Angel interested in the human spirit? The human mind?" the first questioner asked.

"We cannot answer that question," Misato said. "Do the Angels even have a concept of 'mind'? Do they understand human thoughts? These are utterly unknown."

A fourth voice spoke up. "This incident reveals a new aspect; that the Angel tried to take an Eva into itself. What of the possibility of this aspect of this aspect being a factor in the predicted 13th Angel, and all Angels to follow?"

Misato gave a slight shake of her head. "Considering the pattern so far, there is no sign of any systematic organization among the Angels.

"That's right," the second voice said. "It is obvious they have all acted independently so far."

Misato narrowed her eyes and turned towards the voice. "What does that mean?"

"You are not permitted to ask questions here," stated a much older, colder voice. Asuka did her best to conceal a shiver. This voice was harsh, dry, deep, and put Asuka in mind of dead leaves scratching and rattling around a graveyard. It also ordered Misato to silence without any sense that it could even possibly be disobeyed.

Misato did not appear to react beyond a flat "Understood."

"That is all," the same voice grated. "Leave us."

"Sir." Misato tapped Asuka on the shoulder, executed a parade-ground perfect about-face, and led the way to the door.

"What do you think, Ikari-kun?" the cold voice rumbled in the darkness.

Illumination snapped on to reveal Commander Ikari sitting near the head of the table. "The Angels are getting more and more intelligent. There is not much time left..."

"Left for us, you mean?"

.

"I'm home..." came a tired voice from the front door.

Asuka sprang up off the couch like she'd been fired from a cannon. "Welcome back!" she said loudly as she shot across the dining area and crashed into Shinji as he emerged from the entrance hallway.

"Oof! Shinji barely had time to drop his book bag and open his arms to receive her. His smile said he didn't mind at all. The intense kiss that followed confirmed it. "I guess this means Misato-san isn't home?" he whispered when they finally pulled back. He still craned his neck to look behind Asuka, searching for their guardian.

"Yeah, she went to go get us 'victory pizza' in celebration for beating the Angel. I'd rather have your cooking, but it buys us twenty minutes alone," Asuka grinned before going in for another kiss. "And after an entire day of being poked and interrogated by Doctor Akagi and her Igor, I can really use the cuddles to wash that away. What took you so long to get home? I thought you'd be here before we were!"

Shinji shrugged. "Hibiki-san was absent again, so the Class Rep asked me to help Tanaka-san with the after school clean up." He squirmed awkwardly. "Tanaka-san... asked me to eat lunch with her tomorrow 'to thank me'."

Asuka growled. "And? You told her no, like all the others, right?"

"Er..." He suddenly couldn't meet her eyes.

"Shinji!"

"She wouldn't take no for an answer! I panicked!"

"Well, she's going to be in for a surprise when I come along! It's a good thing I trust you, baka." She freed one hand to flick him in the forehead. Her embrace on him hadn't wavered in the slightest, however. "You're mine."

"Um... how are we going to explain that? You coming along? She's going to notice, er, you staking a claim like that. I thought we couldn't let anyone suspect we're... we're..."

"Together. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Lovers. All that," Asuka said flatly. She then burst into a huge smile. "Yeah, it's been going through my head all day, too." Her smile faded away. "And explaining me will be easy. Wondergirl will be there, too."

"Ayanami? Why? She always eats alone."

Asuka sighed. "You're going to love this..." She quickly explained Doctor Akagi's decision, and that it was backed by his father's endorsement. "So we're going to have the First trailing us around like a shadow until we somehow figure out how to boost her Synch Rate up the way ours have lately. And I _don't _think our method is going to work on her." She leaned back in to nibble and suck at his throat by way of demonstration.

"I-eeeee! Well, ahhhh oooh... we could invite her here and we all couldOW!" Shinji's keen of pleasure abruptly turned into a yowl of pain as Asuka's gentle nibbling suddenly became a bite.

She pulled back and gave him a flat glare. "Pervert. I could _hear_ you thinking it. You are _not_ getting an 'Israfel Special' with me and her!"

Shinji blushed furiously. "I _wasn't_ thinking it! But now it's stuck in my head, thanks!" He pulled her back in for another kiss, to which she offered only token resistance. "But it wasn't um... _that_ that caused our Synch Rates to go up, remember? It was..." He laid his head on her shoulder and just held her. "It was _this_. Just... opening up to each other. So we just need to teach Ayanami how to open up too."

Asuka let herself enjoy the embrace for a moment before pulling back again to give Shinji a raised eyebrow. "Fine, whatever it takes to get her off our tail so we can have privacy again. How?"

"I have no fucking idea."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Dummkopf. Fine. She's supposed to show up here to join us on the walk to school in the morning, and Misato's going to be back soon. So let's make the best use of the last twenty minutes of alone time you and I are going to see outside of our bed for a while." She pulled him over to the couch in the living room and pushed him down onto it. He flopped back to lie flat along its length.

"Outside of bed?" Shinji asked, sighing happily as Asuka lowered herself down to lie on top of him. His arms automatically wrapped around her back and held her against him.

"Wondergirl goes back to wherever she lives after dinner each night, according to this stupid plan of Doctor Akagi's. After lights-out it's just you and me, and Wondergirl or no Wondergirl, from now on you are not allowed to let anything in the world keep you from my... _our_ bed at night, understand? You promised."

"Jawhol, mein Schatz."

"I'm so glad I started teaching you proper German." Asuka grinned impishly. "Also, we've still got two condoms to use up. After that, I'm finally going to get something _useful_ out of Doctor Dye-Job; a contraceptive implant."

Shinji blushed again at the reminder of what they'd shared last night. "Um... yeah... I... I was thinking about it all day too, Asuka. Even Touji and Kensuke noticed I was acting all smiley." He hugged her tighter. "Being with you is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Even if we weren't doing... _that_, I'd still be so happy. Doing that just makes it even better."

"Good, because we're not stopping. I've decided I like it. Now, you've got about seventeen more minutes to make me happy too, so let's not waste time." She kissed him again. "Mmm... and tonight, we're talking. I think I saw something... in that non-place I was stuck..."

"What?"

_'I think I saw my mother...'_ "I'll tell you later. I don't want to kill the mood right now." She lowered her lips to his.

.

Shinji tied his shoes automatically, his thoughts lost to chewing on last night's talk. _'Her mother? Was that real? She doesn't remember anything that happened while her Eva was berserking, just like me against Sachiel. I don't remember hearing my mother, though. So what does it mean?'_

They quietly told each other their stories last night. Shinji was glad they had done it, even with all the tears it had summoned. He felt closer to Asuka than ever, knowing their shared traumas were so similar. Suspiciously so, noted Asuka, once they'd managed to stem their tears. Twice could be a coincidence, maybe. But what if it was all three Evas? They'd agreed to find out about Rei's mother and see if it was true. _'And if it is, what does that mean?' _Shinji thought. _'Are the Evas powered by human sacrifice or something? They __**bleed**__, and the battle footage showed Unit-01 and 02 growling and roaring at each other more like animals than giant robots. What __**are**__ Evas?'_

He felt a small, warm hand take his as he stood up. He was smiling even before he turned around to meet Asuka's eyes right behind him. He was glad Misato couldn't see them at the door from where she sat at the dinner table.

"Last chance before bedtime, Third Child. Make it count," she said, making sure her voice was pitched too low to carry back to Misato.

He nodded and kissed her softly. "I love you," he whispered back.

She grinned back. "Love you too. Now, game face on, baka. Look mopey. We're going to have to fool Wondergirl all day long, so don't be surprised when I yell at you." Her face shifted to a faux-cheery mask. Just a few days of being open to each other, and already Shinji could see the difference. It made him feel good, that she let only him see the real her. She reached over with her free hand and pressed the door-open button. "We're going, Misato!" she called over her shoulder.

"Have fun!" their guardian called after them.

.

Shinji kept his eyes on his lunch. The bento would not hurt him. Unless Asuka used it to hit him over the head. He didn't think she'd be intentionally swinging at him, no, but her flailing about with it in frustrated fury seemed more and more likely. He could feel her frustration building as she sat immediately to his right, like a pot getting closer to boiling over.

They'd met up with Rei at the foot of their apartment building. The walk to school had been nearly silent, like most days. Unlike the last few days, he and Asuka hadn't been able to surreptitiously hold hands for most of the way, something he was already missing. His hand had twitched frequently on the way there, and he'd had to stop himself from just taking her hand more than once, seeking that reassuring contact. The mere fact Asuka would let him do that, and even smile at him as he did, had been a source of much happiness for him over the last few days. Now it was something they had to hide like the rest of their tentative new relationship...

He hadn't entirely been able to stop himself. At one point when Rei's metronome-regular steps had taken her a few meters ahead of them, he'd spun around and snuck in a kiss from Asuka. The redhead had been surprised by the uncharacteristic initiative by the Third Child, but happily accepted the hurried kiss before pushing him away with a whispered "Careful!" Rei had given no sign she'd noticed the momentary slip in their act.

Asuka had shifted totally into her public persona once they'd arrived at school, giving him and Rei nothing more than haughty, dismissive looks until they'd arrived in class, where she'd proceeded to ignore them. Now that she was occupying the center of his thoughts so much, for the first time Shinji had spent the entire morning wondering about that. Why _did_ Asuka act so differently in public? He understood a little now, that she drove herself so hard to be the best because she feared that no one would want her around otherwise, but... He almost couldn't understand it. She_ was_ so good, so confident, how could she ever worry about no one wanting her? She didn't _have_ to act like that to make him or anyone want to be around her. She was exotic, fiery, strong... he'd want her on his side in a fight even if he wasn't falling hopelessly in love with her. But how could he convince her that the real Asuka she let him see at home was even more wonderful than her Elite Pilot act?

He almost laughed at himself. Was he really giving himself the task of convincing the most amazing girl he knew that she really was as wonderful as she tried to pretend to be? That she didn't have to act at all? _'How do I convince her she really is worth the world?'_

His musings on how to make Asuka feel as special as she made him feel were cut off by the bell. Before he could rise from his desk for lunch, a shadow loomed over him. He looked up to the impressive chest of Chihiro Tanaka, then quickly jerked his eyes up to her face.

"Hello, Ikari-kun. Are you ready for lunch? I've been looking forward to this all day!" she said cheerfully.

Shinji paled. Oh, right. He'd forgotten this was coming.

Another, darker shadow loomed from behind him. He was faintly surprised there wasn't a glowing red aura around Asuka. "Yes, there's been a slight change of plans. No private lunches."

.

Tanaka looked from one Pilot to the next. They were all seated facing her on one bench of the outdoor table near the back of the school. "So you three are together because..."

"We're not 'together'," Asuka growled. "It's Special Training. We're not allowed to be separated."

Tanaka regarded the quietly bristling Second Child nervously. "Right."

"Sorr-" Shinji began.

"Stop apologizing already, baka." Asuka poked him in the side. "You sound like a broken record." Her hand, mostly hidden below the level of the table, lingered to gently rub where she'd poked him by way of apology.

"Are you two always like that?" Tanaka asked warily.

"They've improved greatly since they synchronized. Now they are totally familiar with each other's moves," Rei spoke up for the first time. Asuka's mouth dropped open and she and Shinji both stared at Rei like she'd grown antlers.

Tanaka blinked at her. "Er,...that means...?"

"They developed a bond beyond the physical," Rei said calmly, still steadily eating her vegetarian lunch.

Takana's eyebrows shot up and her face went red. She rapidly looked back and forth between Shinji and Asuka. "Wait... you mean-"

Asuka hurriedly interrupted. "It was training, alright? We trained in sync, for a simultaneous attack! Only for a battle! That's all! We didn't do anything improper, no matter what you're imagining!" She was more than a little red herself. Shinji tried to resist the urge to sink out of sight into the ground.

Rei continued, perfectly unruffled. "Though I believe this bond predates that session. Ikari is the first person Pilot Soryu ever let inside her Entry Plug."

Tanaka went redder. "Is... is she talking about-"

"NO," Asuka almost shouted. She was as red as her hair now.

Tanaka reeled back from the force of Asuka's insistent denial. "Um...right. Nothing improper! Perish the thought! Ikari-kun is a perfectly responsible young man! He'd never do anything indecent with you!"

Asuka bristled some more. "What do you mean he wouldn't do anything with me?! I'm the most beautiful girl he knows! He'd do anything he could with me, all night long, and beg for more!"

The only sound in their corner of the schoolyard was the gentle click of Rei's chopsticks against the bottom of her bento and the 'caw, caw' of a lone crow passing overhead. Shinji buried his face in his hands.

After a long, awkward pause, Asuka quietly muttered, "That didn't just happen and none of you remember anything. _Or I will scoop out your brains and make a_ _**pie**_, _understood_?"

Tanaka nervously coughed. "Um, right. So how do you fit into this, Rei?"

Rei finished her meal and closed the bento back up, putting it away in her bag. "I must bond with both of them. I believe it will prove difficult. Soryu is not a willing partner."

"But Ikari-kun... er, is?"

Rei calmly met her eyes. "I already have a bond with Ikari-kun."

Asuka coughed as a bite of her lunch suddenly caught in her throat. She pounded on her chest for a moment to clear it. She stared hard at Rei. "What?! S-since when?"

"Since after the Fifth Angel, when he forced open my armor with his blade and burst into my Entry Plug. No one else had ever gotten to my core with such need. He was urgent and forceful. It... made me smile." The faintest hints of such an expression appeared on Rei's lips. "I would like to do it again. Maybe more than once."

Tanaka was bright red and speechless. Her head slowly cranked around to stare at Asuka, begging for some explanation that was less lewd than what she was apparently coming up with.

Asuka thought desperately. What the Hell? Oh, right! "... I-it was the battle, all right, she's talking about the Eva! Baka-Shinji had to breach her Eva's armor after the Fifth Angel melted it to get her out! He just had to use the Eva's knife to break through since it was too hard! Not _her_ um... 'core' or anything! The armor! Hard armor!"

"Yes," Rei agreed placidly. "Ikari had felt my softest part before that, but I had not understood the meaning of it at that time."

Tanaka whipped her head back to Asuka almost desperately.

Asuka gave her an equally confused look. "...I've got nothing. I can't decipher that one."

Shinji's eyes went wide. _'Oh no... she wouldn't!'_

"He touched my-" Rei began, halted only by Shinji's desperate lunge to 'accidentally' knock over his cup of tea into Rei's lap.

"Oh no! I've spilled tea all over you, Ayanami! Quickly, we must go wash it out right away!" He stood up with amazing speed and shoved his bento into his bag, then dragged Rei away towards the nearest building with a bathroom. "Come on, Asuka! You can't be away from us, remember?"

He sped off, Rei in tow. Asuka hurriedly tossed her mostly finished lunch into her bag and stood up. She gave Tanaka a narrow-eyed glare. "And stay away from Shinji. You can't handle him."

Tanaka stared after her for a long while, before plaintively asking the empty air, "What the fuck just happened?"


	7. Ch 6 - Before The Storm Pt 2

Asuka smashed the door to the bathroom open and charged inside. "Alright, Shinji, what the Hell was that? What was Wond-" She slammed to a halt like she'd hit a brick wall.

Shinji was at the sink, _very intently_ washing Rei's skirt. That Rei was not wearing. Rei was behind Shinji, standing perfectly still in the middle of the bathroom, staring right at Asuka as she came in. Her state of undress below her waist did not seem to bother her. She also had really boring underwear, Asuka vaguely noted.

"Wondergirl, why the fuck are you standing there in just your panties?!"

"Ikari-kun needed to wash out the tea he spilled on it. This was the most efficient way," Rei said, unperturbed. Shinji continued to wash the skirt in the sink, very carefully keeping his head down so as to avoid even looking in the mirror right in front of him and seeing Ayanami's... charms.

"You can't just whip your skirt off in front of a boy like that! Even baka-Shinji! Boys might get the wrong idea!" Asuka sputtered.

"What idea?" Rei asked.

"Asuka blinked at her. Ayanami had sounded utterly, sincerely clueless. "You.. sex, of course! A teenage boy sees a girl just strip down to her panties in a private place like this, they're going to think you're trying to get their pants off! How can you not know that? Didn't your mother teach you not to flash your goods at boys?"

"Mother?

"Yes, baka! Your mother! Everybody's got one!"

"No."

"What?

"I was not taught such by a mother."

Asuka shared a nonplussed look with Shinji, who had dared to raise his head at this strange response. "Well, why not?"

Rei's tone was as level as ever. "I was raised under the care of NERV by Commander Ikari, with assistance from Doctor Akagi. He did not instruct me about such."

The sound of running water was the only sound in the room for a moment.

"What happened to your mother, Ayanami?" Shinji asked quietly.

"I do not know."

Asuka exchanged a very significant glance with Shinji. _'Well, isn't __**that**__ interesting? Damn it, Shinji and I need to talk about this! We need to dig into this, without letting other people know we are. Wait, other people...' _She looked around, suddenly noticing the lack of urinals. "Baka-Shinji, this is a _girls'_ bathroom! Why the Hell did you run in here?! What if there'd been people in here?"

"It was the closest one! I panicked!" Shinji whined.

Asuka narrowed her eyes. "Yes, that was a sudden, convenient little 'accident' you had out there. What was Wondergirl about to say? You touched her somewhere?"

"Umm..."

"He touched my right breast," Rei calmly supplied.

Asuka stared at her, mouth gaping. "What." She shook her head. "Explain, rapidly."

"Ikari-kun came to my apartment alone. He encountered me as I came out of a shower. He was examining a personal item of mine. When I took it from his hand, he fell on top of me. His hand grasped my right breast as we fell to the floor. He remained that way until I asked him to move." Rei stared into space for a moment. "It was... not unpleasant."

Asuka directed a stare at Shinji that should have set his shirt on fire. "Really? How interesting..." Shinji hunched lower, returning his eyes to the sink. "Pleasant or not, you can't just let baka-Shinji or anyone here see you naked like that."

Rei tilted her head to the side by a tiny degree. "I don't mind if Ikari-kun sees me naked."

_'Oh no you do not, you little blue-haired bitch! He's MINE!'_ "You can't do that with Shinji! He's... _'MINE! Just for me! Taken! Claimed! In love with me! GAAAAGHH! I can't say __**any **__of that!' _"He's... not... you... WHARRGAGBBL!"

"I do not understand," Rei said after Asuka descended into Angrish for a minute.

"It's... It's..." _'Come on, Soryu! You're supposed to be a genius! Think of something! There's got to be a thousand reasons you should be able to tell Wondergirl to keep her hands and eyes off Shinji besides 'He's __**mine**__ and if you try to grab a piece of __**my**__ sweet baka-Shinji, __**I will cut you**__!' Come on! Ah!' _ "It's not ladylike!" _'Oh, good one, Soryu. Now you sound like someone's spinster aunt.' _"You don't just let a boy grab you like that! Sex is supposed to be with someone you like, someone you care about!"

"I care about Ikari-kun."

Shinji audibly gulped as they both processed the implications in that. Shinji took Rei's skirt and sidestepped along towards the hot-air dryers, carefully keeping his back to Rei and his head down.

_'Do not start making plans to murder Wondergirl. Do not start making plans to murder Wondergirl. Do not start making plans to murder Wondergirl. You're not allowed to kill her, someone might notice.'_ Aloud, she managed to hold herself to, "Don't start planning to have sex with him, Wondergirl. Misato might notice. And for damn sure I'm not going to let you try it, or run around like that, for many reasons. We're supposed to teach you how to raise your Synch Score like we did? Fine. Then we're going to teach you how to be more like us, because you're sure as Hell not normal right now."

She stepped closer to Rei and swung her finger up to point right in Rei's face. "For example, if I find out you were doing all that stuff at lunch on purpose, I'm going to strangle you, but you're so weird I bet you were actually ignorant of what you were saying?"

"What I was saying? I informed her about factual events of past actions in our Evas," Rei said, sounding slightly puzzled.

"And damn near everything out of your mouth was a huge double entendre!" Asuka exclaimed.

Rei blinked at her without any sign of comprehension. "What is a 'double-entendre'?"

Asuka lowered her hand and stared at her. "You... what? You really... Are you _screwing _with me, First?"

Rei gave her a look that was either blank or so flat she couldn't see the difference. "I am not screwing with you, Pilot Soryu."

"A double entendre is when you say something superficially ordinary with deliberate sexual double meaning. When you started telling Tanaka about 'Ikari-kun was the first one in Soryu's Entry Plug', she's going to think you're making a joke about us having sex! And 'he burst into my core' and 'I would like to do it again' makes it sound like baka-Shinji's doing you too!"

"I was not attempting to imply such. I am not having sex with Ikari-kun."

"Tanaka doesn't know that! She's going to think you were doing that on purpose! She's probably convinced 'Shinji the Casanova' here has both of us at his beck and call all night thanks to you!"

"Israfel Special?" Shinji muttered behind her, just loud enough for her to hear.

Biting her lip to stop a smile and suppressing the urge to laugh, she swung around to look at Shinji, who was done drying Rei's skirt. She gave him a glare too. "And you! Anyone _else_ I should know about you getting to Second Base with, baka?"

Shinji blushed. "I... um... it's not like there was a good moment to bring it up!" he burst out. "It was an accident, Rei slapped me later, and we both tried to never mention it again!"

Asuka looked at Rei. "You slapped him?" _I don't know whether to be mad at her for hurting my Shinji, or proud of her for acting like a normal girl for once.'_ "Good! You can't let bakas get away with just grabbing your goods like that, no matter then excuse."

"He insulted his father," Rei said.

"Wait, this pervy baka falling on top of you and getting a good feel of your bon bons didn't bother you, but him insulting his bastard father got you to slap him?" Asuka asked in disbelief. Rei's eyes almost flashed a hint of anger at Asuka's choice of adjective, but she just nodded. _'Ok, scratch the 'normal' part.'_

Asuka rubbed at her face. "Fine. Fine! Alright, so we really need to teach you _everything_. To start with, you don't let boys get away with grabbing feels off of you without swift and thorough retribution." _'Unless, of course, you __**want**__ him to, in which case you tell Shinji to stop teasing you and go faster!'_ a cheery little voice in her head put in. _'Yes, thank you, libido, now shut up!'_ "Second, you don't just take you clothes off in front of boys in public restrooms!" _'No, you save that for the bedroom you share at home, or the living room if Misato isn't home! The look on his face...'_ Asuka grit her teeth. _'Not __**helping**__.' _"You don't just flash people like that. Don't you have any shame?"

"What is 'shame'?"

Asuka covered her face with her hand. She opened her mouth to respond to this latest strange gap in Rei's understanding when she froze. There were voices approaching the door from the hallway. _'Crap!'_ She grabbed Rei by the shoulders and spun her to the left, pushing her towards one of the stalls. "Quick! Inside!" She reached back to grab Shinji's hand and pull him along as well. "Rei, sit down. Third, you and me up on the back of the toilet. We can't have three pairs of feet showing."

She grabbed Rei's skirt out of Shinji's hands and dropped it on the floor around Rei's feet. They had just slammed the stall door closed and locked when they heard the bathroom door open and a handful of girls enter.

Asuka gave Shinji a jaundiced stare across the back of the toilet. "Well, this is going well. Let's try to avoid any further disasters today, hmm?" she hissed.

.

"No, seriously, she said 'you can't handle him'! Soryu said he's too much to handle! And Ayanami was practically drooling at the idea of him 'touching her softest part' again!"

"You've got to be joking! He's got _both_ of them? And they're fine with it?"

"The only thing Soryu seemed to mind was Ayanami revealing it all! And then she tried to warn me off even trying for him? He's got to be absolutely _amazing_, and they just don't want to share!"

"I just can't believe it, Tanaka. He's tamed both of them, the Red Demon _and_ the Ice Queen? He looks so quiet and unassuming! Who would have expected a raging masculine beast under that quiet exterior?"

"I did. Totally called it. I just knew he had to be a tiger under that shy façade. Akemi and Haruko thought so too. That's why they tried asking him to lunch last month. He's turned down everyone who asked before, and Soryu guards him like a shark anyhow. How did you get him to say yes, Tanaka?"

"I just asked him when he was smiling. I guess he was in a good mood. He's got a _cute_ smile, too."

"I know! And those deep blue eyes! I'll have to ask him tomorrow. Even if he brings those two along, it's worth it for the chance. I mean, _Soryu_ told you to back off, but he didn't say anything, right? And he said yes to lunch!"

"Well, so long as Soryu doesn't kill you for trying..."

"I"m totally asking him again next week."

"Me too."

"Dibs on Friday."

"Does anyone know if he's busy after school? I want to see if he'd like to walk home together."

"Don't you live _east_ of here?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Fair enough."

.

"And another thing, First; if and when you ever do show them off to someone who is _not_ the Third Child, wear something better than those panties, because that is the most boring underwear I have ever seen." Asuka threw a glance behind them, making sure Shinji was still trailing back far enough he wouldn't hear anything. This was embarrassing enough.

Rei cocked her head at Asuka as they walked towards the school's gate. "I thought I was not supposed to display them to anyone?"

Asuka sighed. _'I can't believe I had to give the 'birds and the bees' talk to fricking __**Wondergirl**__. I can see Commander Ikari not wanting to do it, maybe, but why wouldn't Doctor Akagi do it?'_ This was the strangest educational experience Asuka had ever had to be a part of. "Well, in the hypothetical and extremely unlikely situation you ever have a boyfriend, you should wear something besides that."

Rei shook her head once. "I do not have any other kind."

Asuka looked at her. Again, Rei was acting like she was less a teenage girl than an alien that looked like one. "Don't you have anything fancier? Anything to go with pants, stuff that doesn't leave a visible line?"

"I have seven pairs like this. That is all."

Asuka's look got even more confused. "First, don't you have any other clothes at all?"

"I have several school uniforms."

"What." Any flatter and Asuka's voice could have been used as pavement. "Wondergirl, how do you nothave _any_ other clothing but school uniforms?"

"Commander Ikari never instructed me to obtain any."

Asuka couldn't stop herself from looking at Shinji. "Third, what the He-... what are you staring at?"

Shinji was not paying any attention to her. He was staring past them at the school gate. Asuka turned to follow his gaze.

Tanaka and what appeared to be about a third of the girls in their class were clustered in a group at the gate. And they all were staring at the Pilots. Asuka felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. _'No... they're staring at __**Shinji**__. Uh oh.'_

The nearest girls giggled as they approached, and the one in the front stepped up next to them to talk to Shinji. Asuka glared daggers at her. Megumi Haya... something. Asuka couldn't remember, just that she had an annoyingly cheerful voice, always seemed to be talking, and was one of the crowd that she always caught eyeing Shinji when he wasn't looking.

"Hiii~, Ikari-kun," she chirped at Shinji as he drew closer, hands behind her back and chest pushed out. Shinji eyed her nervously, holding his book bag between him and her like a shield. "Um... yes, Hayashibara-san?"

"Are you busy right now? If you don't mind, I'd like to-"

"He's busy," Asuka interrupted. _'MINE!' _she wanted to snarl.

Hayashibara leaned away from Asuka's glare, but rallied. "I... I was asking him, not you, Soryu-san," she shot back, coldly polite.

"NERV business," Asuka shot right back just as coldly. "We're doing special training, and can't be separated or interfered with. So he's with us, and we're busy. It takes endless training to be Pilots like us. If you like not being killed by Angels, you'll avoid interfering with that."

Hayashibara's hot retort died out i the face of Asuka's harsh reminder of the realities of living in Tokyo-3. She looked between each od the Pilots before bowing deeply to Shinji. "Thank you for your efforts in protecting our city, Ikari-san." She rose, then gave a notably shallower bow to Asuka and Rei. "And to you both as well," she muttered very grudgingly.

Asuka ignored her slight. "First Child, Third Child, ready to go?" she coolly asked. Shinji gave her a relieved nod and fell in behind her, Rei trailing along like a ghost.

.

"Wondergirl, where the Hell do you live?" Asuka complained. She shifted the mass of shopping bags she carried, the results of the impromptu shopping expedition Asuka had led them on after leaving the school , and waved a hand at the bland concrete towers around them as they trudged down the empty road on the northwest corner of the city. "This is like the worst part of Tokyo-3 I've ever seen! Half these buildings are wrecks!"

"This was the residence provided for me when I left the Geofront," Rei said. "I have not been ordered to move anywhere else." The endless BANG-BANG-BANG of some nearby demolition machinery breaking down a derelict building punctuated her statement. "We are here."

Asuka looked doubtfully up at the building they'd stopped in front of. It looked scarcely any better than the abandoned ones around it. "Seriously? You live in this dump?"

Rei did not respond, merely leading them up to the fourth floor and her apartment. Asuka's look of disgust and shock deepened as Rei opened her rusty door and led them inside.

"Gott im Himmel, was zur Hölle ist das?" Asuka burst out as they reached the solitary room. "Th-this place looks like a Russian prison cell! First, they make you live here?" She dropped her armload of bags against one wall and stared at the incredibly Spartan room.

Rei looked at her, slightly puzzled. "Yes."

"Does Misato know about this place, that you live like this?"

"Major Katsuragi has never visited here, no."

Shinji put his part of the bags of clothing and sundry toiletries Asuka had insisted Rei purchase on the bed and looked around. The apartment had not changed since hie brief, embarrassment-filled visit months ago. The same dirty bandages and trash were piled in one corner, which was in fact rather disturbing. He couldn't stand it. IT was making his fundamentally neat nature twitch. "Ayanami, may I clean up a little for you?"

Rei blinked in surprise at him. "Yes?" she answered, sounding almost uncertain.

Shinji began to pick up loose trash and dump it in a discarded grocery bag. Asuka snorted briefly at Shinji's habits working overtime, and returned to her horrified examination of Rei's apartment. She paused when she noticed the surprisingly large pile of medication on the chest of drawers that was nearly the only other furniture besides the metal-framed bed. "First, what is all... this..." She peered closer. She was right. All the medicine was prescribed by "Dr. Akagi, R". Was Rei ill? This was a bigger pile of pills than she'd seen anyone take outside of a hospital.

She picked up one bottle and read the label. "Methoxetamine... Benzodiazepine... Diazepam..." she read off. She looked up at Rei in growing confusion. "This... this is nothing but a giant cocktail of sedatives, dissociatives, mood suppressors, and hormonal contraceptives! First, why the Hell are you taking all this shit?!"

Rei looked at her blankly. "Doctor Akagi's orders. She said the commander had required it."

"This... this is nothing but stuff that makes it impossible for you to feel anything! No wonder you act like a... doll..." Asuka trailed off in dawning horror.

"I am not a doll," Rei calmly replied, expressionless.

Asuka tried and failed to suppress a shiver. "If... if you're not, then you shouldn't take these, First. These drugs don't do anything but rob you of your ability to feel at all. No wonder baka-Shinji falling on you got no reaction! You must be so numb it hardly registered! No arousal, no worry, no depression... they make you like a puppet with this stuff! Don't take it anymore!"

"Docotr Akagi ordered me to take them daily. She said the Commander required I do so," Rei repeated stoically.

"Just... do me a favor, First Child. Look up the drugs on this label at school tomorrow. See what they do. There's no reason for you to be taking all this. Then... just... try not taking them for a few days? See the difference? It's..." Asuka clenched her hands into fists to stop the shaking. "If they can do this to you, they can do it to any of us. It's not right." She put the bottle of pills down like it might explode. She looked at Rei again. "Please."

Rei looked uncertain. The Second Child had never said 'please' to her before, never asked her anything in a tone of voice this naked. "I will... look."

Asuka stared at her for a moment longer before turning to Shinji. "Third, it's late. I want to go home. Let's go."

Shinji looked up from where he was almost done sweeping the layers of dust in the room into one pile. "I'm just about done with the sweeping. Can we-"

"I want to go home _right now_, Shinji," Asuka said, her voice tense.

Shinji looked at her, surprised, but nodded. "I guess it's kind of late. We were shopping for a while. We'll see you in the morning, Ayanami?"

Rei nodded. "Thank you... for cleaning." She silently showed them out. She returned to her bare room and spent a long time staring at the pill bottles.

.

Shinji nearly winced as Asuka seized his and in a hard grip as soon as they left Rei's building. She pulled him along down the sidewalk at a fast clip, like she was trying to put distance between her and Rei's apartment as fast as she could. "Asuka, what's wrong?"

Asuka didn't say anything for a minute. "She's the Commander's pet, his favorite," she said in a low voice. "Not you, his own son. Not me, the top scorer. Her. She's the one he _likes_. And they've got her taking so many tranquilizers and dissociatives I'm amazed she was even _able_ to get angry enough to slap you. That amount of drugs has to be making her nearly a robot. That 's the kind of cocktail you give to someone you want to keep totally pliable, unargumentative, too doped up to care about anything... someone you want to make into a _doll_." Asuka shuddered. "If they can do that to the Pilot they like, what do they think of _us_?"

They reached the bus stop, and for a change they were in luck. They could see a bus just two blocks away, heading for their stop. Asuka turned to look at him. She looked around, assuring herself they were alone for the moment, before clamping her arms around him and holding him tight.

She was shivering despite the warm evening. "Asuka?"

"Don't... don't let that happen to me, Shinji. Don't let them do that to me. Or you. I'd rather die."

Shinji shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like hearing Asuka like this. She was fire, light, confidence. She... He'd never seen her afraid like this. "You think they could?"

"I didn't think they could do something like that to _her_! I thought she was just stuck up and didn't want to talk to me or something. I didn't think they'd be_ making_ her like that." She shivered again. "It's a lot harder to hate her now that I know that. And I told you how I feel about dolls."

He nodded and squeezed her back. "We watch out for each other, right. We promised. Together."

Asuka's shivering eased. "Right," she whispered. "Not alone. Never again."

The bus pulled up behind them with a hiss of brakes. They climbed in and settled into seats near the back. This route would have them home in less than thirty minutes.

"What are we going to do about Ayanami? If those drugs are as bad as you say, we can't just let her keep taking them," Shinji asked.

Asuka made herself sit up straight, though leaning into Shinji's warm side was very tempting. "Hopefully she'll see what I meant when she checks them at school tomorrow. And I've got an idea for her nasty apartment, too."

.

"Welcome home! Have fun on your first day of team-building?" Misato asked them cheerfully from the living room couch as they arrived home.

"Oh, _loads_ of laughs hanging out with Wondergirl. She's just such a social butterfly, that one!" Asuka replied sarcastically, marching into the living room. "I can't wait to see what other amazing things she can show us. It's going to be hard to top the rat-infested dump she lives in! Misato, have you _seen_ that place?"

The curvy Major looked at Asuka curiously. "No, I haven't Ritsuko took care of Rei before I got here. She handled it all. Why?"

"She lives in a demolition zone! The building looks like it's about to fall apart at any moment! You have to go look at it, Misato! They can't treat an Evangelion Pilot like that, not even Wondergirl!" Asuka injected as much indignation into her voice as she could. "I wouldn't keep a sick dog in that hole!"

Misato's eyes narrowed. "Really? Hmm... maybe I'll drop in on Rei-chan's place tomorrow. Is that why you two were out so late with her? Visiting her lovely home?"

Asuka snorted. "Lovely, my ass. We took her out shopping. She literally had no other clothes but school uniforms! And when we took all the stuff we'd got back to her place, it looked like she lived in a prison cell in Stalingrad! Didn't it, Third?"

Shinji nodded behind her as he finished putting away their bags. "It was a pretty run-down area, Misato-san. Ayanami deserves to live some place nicer than that. Aren't there empty apartments in this building or something we could move her to?"

"Eheh..." Misato smiled awkwardly. Their building was in fact almost empty, many of the residents having moved out of Tokyo-3 in fear once the Angel attacks began. "Let me look at Rei-chan's place before we start moving her in next door. Maybe we can spruce it up."

Asuka shook her head. "There's no 'sprucing' that wasteland, Misato. Now come on, baka. I'm hungry, and then I _really_ want to get to bed."

"Jawhol, schatzie."

Misato's eyebrows shot up and she clamped down on a giggle. Did Shinji just say that?

Asuka spun around. "What was that?!" she screeched. Once her back was fully towards Misato she gave Shinji a wink and a blown kiss before she swung a hand at the side of his head. "Baka Shinji! Die!"

Shinji dodged around the table towards the kitchen. "Achtung! Help!"

"Awww... he _is_ paying attention to your German lessons, Asuka!" Misato observed, snickering at her charges.

.


	8. Ch 7 - Before The Storm Pt 3

Rei stared at the red and white pills in her hand and hesitated. This was new.

Her eyes had snapped open at precisely 0640, just like every morning. She had never needed an alarm clock. She had gone through her morning routine automatically, no thought required. She got dressed, prepared a bland lunch bento, and took out her daily medication dose. But then she had halted, conflicted.

_'Doctor Akagi instructed me to take these daily. She stated the Commander had required them. She implied they were essential to maintain my body's stability,' _one thought argued. _'Doctor Akagi talks at me, not to me like the Commander or Ikari-kun do. She does not care for me. Even the Second Child cares for me. She asked me 'please' not to do this. And my current research confirms her description; most of the medication in these pills is sedative and dissociative in nature,' _the other side argued back. Disobeying the Commander, even by proxy still felt... wrong. Rei had never done it. But Ikari-kun and Pilot Soryu... they had taken her to buy clothes to help her be more like them, cleaned her apartment out of concern for her state of life, and warned her against taking medication that apparently clouded her mind. They... cared about her and her well-being?

_'They fight beside me in battle. They risk their lives for each other because they care for each other. They have done so for me. Ergo, they care for me too.'_ Logic had always come easily to Rei. It made things simple, clear. Something she liked, since her thoughts often felt... muddied, slowed, unclear. If Pilot Soryu was correct, this medication might even be the cause of that.

She closed her hand and pocketed the pills. She would confirm once more with research at school. She could always take the pills later in the day if her concerns proved unfounded.

She walked to the door and picked up her schoolbag. She had just enough time to meet the Second and Third Children at their residence if she left now.

.

"Hee hee... Mmm. Rrowl..."

"Shhhh!"

"Come on, one more..."

"This is dangerous..."

"That makes it more fun!" Asuka pouted at him. "Misato can't see us in here. And I want every bit of you I can get, Third Child. We're going to be stuck with Wondergirl all day long again. I'm going to have to spend all day acting like I don't want to get back into bed with you right now and keep doing what we were doing last night."

"We can't, we used up the last one," Shinji said mock-mournfully. He brightened. "You're getting that implant thing from Doctor Akagi today, right?"

"Yup!" Asuka gave him a sly, wicked grin. "So I get one more good kiss before we go out there and I have to pretend to be angry at you. Gimme."

Shinji really found it hard to argue, and not just because Asuka had her tongue halfway down his throat. Her arms came up to gently wrap around the back of his neck and pull him close against her. His rose automatically to hold her by the hips. _'This... mmm. __**This**__ is the way to leave home in the mornings. Wait, what was that noise? It was kind of a bing-bong... DOORBELL!'_

He and Asuka sprang apart just before Misato's voice called from the dining area. "Is that Rei-chan? Get going you two!"

Shinji glanced at Asuka, who was rapidly smoothing out mussed hair and clothes before nodding to him. He hit the door open button to reveal Rei standing placidly on the doorstep, face as blank as always.

"Good Morning."

"Good morning, Ayanami. You're here pretty early!" Shinji said with a nervous laugh. He desperately hoped he didn't have any signs of Asuka's affection visible on his neck.

Asuka examined Rei's face carefully. "Did you...?"

Rei still had no expression. "I have not. I will conduct research before any further action." She did meet Asuka's eyes and nod slightly. "Thank you for... being concerned about me." She looked at Shinji too. "And you as well, Ikari-kun."

With that she turned to walk back towards the elevators. Sharing a worried look, Shinji and Asuka followed after.

.

"Hi~, Ikari-kun..."

"Hi~, Ikari-san..."

Shinji waved and smiled weakly at both girls. He very carefully did not glance in Asuka's direction. He could feel the murder-aura pouring off her from where he sat.

Asuka clawed another set of slashes into her desktop and added Megumi Ogata and Rie Kugimiya to the 'Must Kill Them Later' list she was rapidly compiling in her head. There had been a few girls lying in wait in the schoolyard to 'accidentally' run into Shinji that they'd managed to evade by careful use of cover, but half the female portion of their class had turned to watch like hawks as they walked into the classroom, several visibly undressing Shinji with their eyes. That alone had started Asuka on a slow boil. Fortunately, she'd managed to make it look like her old 'angry at everyone' routine.

But nearly all of those girls had found excuses to walk by Shinji's desk and say a personal hello to him this morning, more than a few putting a flirtatious lilt in it, or a bit of extra hip action to their walk. On the last two, both. Asuka put them at the top of the list.

"Hi~, Shinji..." Touji imitated as he walked past his friend's desk. He ran his fingers up Shinji's arm. "You busy later? I've heard sooo~oo much about you!"

Shinji swatted at his hand. "Knock it off," he grumbled.

"Didya change your cologne or sumthin'? The girls are all over you this mornin'!" Touji marveled. "Kensuke, you been gettin' all this on tape for later, right?"

Their spectacled friend nodded with a grin. "Oh yeah," he said, waving his mini-camera. "The Story of Shinji's Harem, Volume One, already started."

"I didn't do anything, guys. I have no idea what's going on. As usual," Shinji muttered. "They just started coming after me this week like all of a sudden I smell like a freshly cooked steak dinner. It's just in the last few days. I don't know why."

Asuka permitted herself a tiny smirk._ 'I know why...'_ The thought did make her feel a little better. All the girls wanted him all of a sudden because _she_ had him. They didn't even know why he was acting more cheerful, or that they'd already lost the game. _'He's mine. I'm his. None of you are ever going to beat that.'_ She narrowed her eyes at Tanaka and Hayashibara, whispering suspiciously together in their seats in the far corner of the classroom. _'Though I bet a bunch of you are going to get on my nerves trying...' _

"C'mon, Shin-man, you've gotta tell us what you're doin' different, so we can get in on it! I could finally get one of these hot babes to notice my studly, well-muscled bod-OW!" Touji's paean to his handsome form was cut off by the impact of a well-aimed piece of chalk to the middle of his forehead.

"Sit DOWN, Suzuhara!" Hikari roared at him. "And shut up!"

"Alright, alright, Class Rep! You don' gotta hit me!" He moved back to his own desk and flopped into it. "Yeesh, why's she gotta pick on me like that?"

Asuka rolled her eyes. _'Jock-Stooge, sharp as a brick as always. I have no idea what you see in him, Hikari.'_

She glanced at Rei. The bluenette had her laptop already open and was busily typing away at some search page. Asuka crossed her fingers. _'I really hope she listens. No one should have their mind mucked with like that, not even Wondergirl.'_

Their elderly sensei finally arrived, and class began.

.

"What do you mean it takes a week to take full effect?!"

Doctor Akagi looked mildly annoyed at Asuka's outburst. Well, slightly more than she usually looked to Asuka these days. It was hard to tell sometimes.

"It's a hormonal contraceptive _implant_, Asuka, not an injection. It takes a few days to seep the necessary levels into your system. Unless your period is right about to start you should be fine before it hits. Calm down."

"Right, my period. That's not due for at least ten days. I'm fine," Asuka hastily agreed. _'Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! That means Shinji and I will have to stop for a week! We can't just stop at a pharmacy and get a box of condoms with Wondergirl watching! Not fair! Cold-turkey withdrawal after just a week of getting a taste for it!'_ That thought sobered Asuka and helped her cool her irritation. _'Cold-turkey withdrawal... I know it's a bad move, but the idea of Wondergirl continuing to take that witches brew of shit is revolting.' _Asuka's eyes slid to Doctor Akagi's back as she turned to put away the scapel and other medical implements she'd used for Asuka's implant. _'__**That**__ witch's brew, in fact. She has to know what she's giving Ayanami is doing to her. Why the fuck are they keeping Wondergirl dosed up with so much shit she can hardly talk?'_

Doctor Akagi turned back and gave Asuka's bandage one last look. "Alright, you're set. You may go. Shinji and Rei should be waiting for you in the other exam room." She picked up her clipboard and headed for the opposite door. "Remind them you all have a Synch Test on Thursday."

She missed Asuka flipping her off.

.

"Ayanami, are you sure we should be doing this?"

"No." Rei pulled a bottle marked 'Flumazenil' from the cabinet.

"...so why...?"

"My research has concluded Pilot Soryu is correct. There is no reason I should be required to take my current regimen of tranquilizers and several other drugs. However, withdrawal symptoms can be severe. I am acquiring palliatives for the major symptoms and other drugs that have been identified to reduce them," Rei said quietly as she placed another bottle in her schoolbag.

"And we're doing this without telling Doctor Akagi because you think she'll say no or try to stop you?" Shinji put a couple of IV bags of saline and some tubing in his bag.

Rei's crimson eyes gave him an unreadable look. "Doctor Akagi is the one who established this regimen for me. She is a brilliant scientist and metabiological doctor. She cannot be unaware of what she is giving me. Therefore, she is doing so on purpose. Ergo, she is unlikely to acquiesce when I tell her I no longer wish to take them. " She reached into the medical cabinet again and pulled out a bottle marked 'Gabapentin'. "Or permit me to obtain counter-agents to the effects of withdrawal syndrome."

"Like what?" Shinji asked uncertainly.

"Nausea, tremors, insomnia, oversensitivity to stimuli, dizziness, parathesia, severe restlessness, mood swings, anxiety, panic attacks... potentially coma and death..."Rei listed without inflection, ignoring Shinji's squawk of dismay. "The literature indicates emotional and psychological support from friends and family is highly important to managing the psychological symptoms. I have no family. Can I... rely on you and Pilot Soryu for that?" Rei sounded oddly unsure as she asked him.

"Of course, Ayanami! We're your friends, no matter what!" Shinji seized her hand. "You know that we worry about you!" He blinked and looked down at where he held her hand. He blushed and dropped it.

Rei did not appear to notice. Again, she just held a steady, calm gaze on him for a long moment. "Thank you," she said even more softly.

She turned back to the medical cabinet, rearranged some of the bottles to conceal the small gaps she'd left, and closed it.

.

"Ayanami, are you alright? You don't look very good." Shinji pitched his voice low to avoid anyone's notice, but his concern was easy to hear.

Rei gave a sharp shake of her head, but did not lift her stare from the surface of her desk. She kept her gaze fixed on that spot with intense concentration, and her hands were gripping the sides of the desktop so hard they were shaking. Or possibly just shaking on their own. Her shaking was making the sweat beading on her forehead and temples drip a little faster.

Three days after she'd begun cutting her dose level, withdrawal symptoms were hitting Rei hard. Anticipating they'd need to keep a close eye on their fellow Pilot and cover for as many of her symptoms as possible, Asuka had had a quiet word with Hikari in her function as Class Rep and gotten their seating shifted slightly. Asuka now sat directly behind Rei, on Shinji's left. That it also moved her right next to Shinji was a nice bonus as far as Asuka was concerned. Not that she'd let her mask slip so far as to actually show it in class, but it was nice to be near him.

Rei swallowed heavily. "I am... feeling nauseous, Ikari-kun. I may require a bathroom soon."

"Asuka, can you-" Shinji's request to her was cut off as yet another girl sniffing after Shinji slid in between them, her back pointedly to Asuka.

Asuka fought hard to keep her hands from curling into claws. Moving to this new seat let her keep a close eye on Rei, but it also uncovered Shinji's 'right flank', and put her right up close as all the other girls kept hitting on her secret boyfriend. And she couldn't officially protest. It was maddening. Shinji had gotten better at dodging their constant attempts to get him to eat lunch with them, go for a walk after school with them, go shopping downtown with them... None of them had yet asked him out on a date _directly_, but they were getting close.

"Good morning, Ikari-san," purred Natsumi Takamori. "I know I can't possibly interrupt your important special training with the others, but I'd love to join you for lunch and hear all about what it's like being the brave Pilot who saves our city over and over again."

"Er... It's not just me, Takamori-san. I couldn't do it without Asuka and Ayanami. I'd have been killed four or five times already without them," Shinji attempted to parry. He tried to lean around her. "Asuka, coul-"

Takamori shifted to stay right in his view, incidentally blocking his view of Asuka. She flicked a dismissive momentary glance over her shoulder at the female Pilots. "Oh, they're nice. I'm sure they're _splendid_ little helpers to you, but everyone knows you're the one who's the _real_ hero," she continued.

Shinji's face clouded at this. "No, I'm really not," he said more quietly.

"I think you are," Takamori rolled right on. "I'd really like to hear more about it from you personally."

Asuka grit her teeth. She knew how Shinji hated being called that. She disagreed, but could see why he didn't like it. They were just like each other. On too many dark and lonely nights before she came to Japan, she'd feared that she was worthless too. She had yet to confess that to Shinji the way he'd told her about his fears, but she felt that she safely could, and probably would soon. It felt better every time they shared something, showed each other a little more of their true hearts. So she already knew Shinji thought himself cowardly and selfish, not a hero at all. He'd blushed a truly amazing shade the night Asuka had quietly told him _she_ considered him one, for diving into Mount Asama to save her from being crushed to death in magma. She'd melted his further embarrassed mumbles with a kiss as hot as the volcano he'd saved her from. That had been a good night.

But from someone like Takamori, it was just a reminder of how he didn't feel worthy of the title most of the time. _'Fricking skank is trying to worm her way in to grab a piece of my Shinji, and making him feel like crap doing it. I will eat your __**eyes**__, bitch! How dare you hurt him!' _She couldn't restrain herself anymore. Watching one of these slags make Shinji's smile crumble enraged her in a way she'd never felt before. Time to do something, anything to make her leave him alone. She frantically tried to come up with a good excuse to interrupt. Her first preference, stabbing Takamori in the neck with her pen, was right out. _'No, can't stab her brains out... beside, strangling her with my bare hands is so much more personal and intimate...'_

Asuka was just opening her mouth to speak when she noticed Rei was staring as fixedly at Shinji and Takamori as she was, despite the sweat sheening Rei's face. Rei also looked a little greener than usual. Something flickered across Rei's face, almost a hint of anger. As Asuka watched, Rei stood up and turned towards Shinji's desk. "Ikari-kun," she began weakly, "I... HOOOORUUGHHHGUG!"

Rey Ayanami began her newest phase of withdrawal syndrome by messily vomiting all over Natsumi Takamori.

Takamori had ignored Rei's rising, and so caught the first blast in her side. Her long, silky black hair seemed to make a shiny, attractive target, as Rei's next couple of heaves liberally splattered across it. "AAAAAA! Get away from me! EW! EW! EW! Stop it!"

"HUUURGUBBBL!" Rei gave one last wave of bile and bits of her breakfast to Takamori's shoes before ceasing and leaning hard against Asuka's desk. "I think I need to go to the nurse's office," she said in a weak voice, barely heard over Takamori's continued shrieking.

Hikari looked aghast at the mess as she ran over from her seat on the far side of the classroom. "Ohmigod... Asuka, can you take Ayanami to the nurse's office? Kugimiya-san, take Takamori-san to the bathroom and help her get cleaned up."

"Ewwww... do I have to?" Kugimiya protested.

Asuka tried not to grin as she took Rei's shoulder and led her to the door. She could feel Rei still shaking under her hand. "Nice shot, Wondergirl," she whispered as they left the classroom. "You really are our team sniper."

"We're a team..." Rei agreed raspily, leaning heavily against Asuka as they walked down the hall. "...You're welcome."

.

Shinji put the rag back in the bucket and sighed. Cleanup had been fast with Hikari organizing things, but Shinji had the feeling this would not be the last such incident to disrupt their day. The girls pursuing him were persistent. He was too tempting a target at lunchtime, even with Asuka and Ayanami. He needed more cover. Fortunately, he and Asuka had discussed the problem last night and developed a plan.

He turned to Hikari, who was likewise finishing putting away some cleaning supplies. "Hey, Class Rep? Can I ask you a favor?"

Hikari raised her eyebrows, but gestured for him to go on. "Certainly, Ikari-kun. What do you need?"

"Um... I'm getting a lot of attention from some of the girls in class, I'm sure you noticed."

Hikari's expression darkened. "Yes, I have. And they're making you uncomfortable?"

"A bit, yes. And I think they're kind of messing with the joint training we're supposed to be doing right now. Um... but I think if we had a larger group, it would head off them trying to squeeze in to our circle at lunch, so could you come eat with us, as Asuka's friend? I'm going to ask Touji and Kensuke to join us too on my side."

The pigtailed brunette brightened up as he made his suggestion, but went dee-in-the-headlights still when Shinji mentioned his tall friend. She unfroze after a second and flashed him a wide smile. "Um, sure, Ikari-kun! I'd love to help you out like that! It'll be just like Major Katsuragi's promotion party!"

"Thanks, Horaki-san." Shinji smiled. _'Cover obtained, observers occupied.'_

That was part two of their scheme. Hikari was Asuka's best friend, and Touji and Kensuke his. They were the three people most likely to see through his and Asuka's ongoing attempt to conceal their relationship. Shinji didn't like outright lying to them, so he'd suggested they come up with something to distract them instead: set them up.

Asuka told him about Hikari's raging crush on Touji. She'd been only slightly surprised when Shinji mentioned Touji's matching infatuation with the petite Class Rep that he thought no one knew about. Asuka had laughed at the foolishness of the two of them liking each other but failing to see it was mutual, just dancing around each other for months… until Shinji had given her a smirk and a stare.

She'd flicked him in the nose, but acknowledged the point. She'd countered with 'if they're doing the same stupid thing we were, maybe they'll be just as happy together'. He'd agreed to 'give them a push' and see is he and Asuka couldn't help get them together. Hopefully, the spectacle would keep Kensuke from noticing much about Asuka and him, as well as help out their friends.

Now, to rope in Touji and Kensuke… He wasn't even worried about that part. They usually ate with him anyway, or had before the Pilots had been ordered to begin this training effort. The presences of Rei and Asuka and their attempt at declaring lunch to as 'Pilots Only' had kept them off this week. They'd be happy to rejoin him once he asked. A little maneuvering to make sure Touji and Hikari sat next to each other, and Asuka's plan would be in full swing.  
He smiled as he returned to his seat. Having a brilliant girlfriend was pretty neat. Having someone who loved him was fucking awesome.

.

Asuka fidgeted in her seat by Rei's bed in the nurse's office. The school nurse had accepted Rei's explanation of a minor illness, and even helped administer the syringe of withdrawal medications Rei had pulled from her pocket before leaving Rei to rest. Asuka had been tasked with watching over her. The requirement that she stay was running into her desire to get back to the classroom and keep any more girls from going after her Shinji and driving her nuts. Still… Rei was doing this because Asuka had told her to. This was her responsibility, and she was the lead Pilot anyway. She had to look after her troops, right? Right.

And as much as she might want to be back to keep the other girls from bothering him, she knew he could rely on him to fend them off. She knew it was irrational to worry about another girl taking Shinji away from her, but she was just as aware that her fears on the topic were not going to be dismissed that easily. He was the first bright thing in her life in years. Even having a solid hunk of man like Kaji named as her guardian in Germany after Misato was transferred to Japan was starting to fade in comparison. Best of all, he trusted her and she trusted him. She'd never had that before. She could be sure without looking that he was right there with her.

Rei noticed her smile. "What are you smiling about, Pilot Soryu? You are… distracted."  
Asuka shook herself out of her daydream. "Ah… The look on Takamori's face when you nailed her. That was priceless." _'Nice save, Soryu.'_

"She was hurting Ikari-kun, and angering you. You are my friends. I concluded I could take advantage of my illness to help." She kept looking at Asuka's face carefully. "You are agitated, and I thought you did not enjoy my company overmuch. Do you wish to return to Ikari-kun? You do not have to wait with me if you wish to go."

_'Oh Gott yes I want to be back with him. Another one of those harpies could be bringing_ _his spirits down right now, and I like seeing him smile, especially at me.'_ "I do want to go back to class, yes. That baka is helpless without me. And those girls need to stop interrupting our training. They're bothering him and reducing his morale!"

"You care about Ikari-kun?"

_'Red Alert! Red Alert! Top secret information threatened! Deploying bullshit deflectors!' _"Don't get the wrong idea!" _'The right idea, that is.'_ "It's not like I _like_ that baka or anything!"_ 'Well, true, I don't 'like' him. I love him. He makes me feel whole and loved for the first time since Mama. He loves me back!'_ "It's just that he gets into trouble without me, and I don't want that, it's troublesome to clean up. And he's my wingman! I have to keep an eye on him in battle. I still owe him a debt for saving my life in that volcano. I don't want him to die or anything before I can repay that. It's a debt of honor, and a Soryu never fails one of those! And I'm the lead Pilot, I have to take care of my squad! I care about both of you as teammates!" _'There, that sounds plausible.'_

"Including me?" Rei asked. Her gaze at Asuka had not shifted. It was faintly unnerving. "I thought you disliked me, because I was a 'doll'."

Asuka squirmed uncomfortably. "Well… yeah. I did. But it's a lot harder to blame you for acting that way now that I know you're drugged like this. That's why I reacted so strongly… my step-mother tried something like that with pills when I was younger. I know what it's like. It's not like I think you would kill yourself or something just because Commander Ikari ordered you to or such."

"If I was ordered to do so, I would."

Asuka's eyes bugged out at Rei. "_What?!_ Are you crazy? _Why_?"

Rei's voice was disturbingly calm. "He has raised me for years. He cares for me. If he gave that order, I would trust he had a necessary reason for it." Rei's voice dropped to almost nothing. "…He is all I have."

"Jesus fuck, Wondergirl! Don't ever do that! Kill yourself just because you were told to?! I mean… Gott! Never! We're soldiers, yeah, and we could die anytime, but never just on someone's say-so! Make it for a reason worth it! Look at baka-Shinji! He didn't jump into a volcano because someone ordered him to! He did it _against_ orders, because he thought I was worth risking his life for!" _'And don't you ever risk yourself like that again, you stupid, brave idiot of mine. I love you so Gottdamn much. My damn martyr baka-Shinji…'_ "He'd do the same for you, just like he said, and… and so would I! Commander Ikari's not 'all you have'! You're not alone! You, and me, and Shinji, we all look out for each other because there's no one else who can in a battle!" Asuka sat back, blinking. _'Did… did I just say all that out loud? And __**mean**__ it? Damn it, Shinji, look at what you're doing to me. You're making me into a Gott damn hero like you just to keep up. All for one and one for all.'_ "We're just like each other…" she muttered aloud.

Rei just stared at her. "I see," was all she said.

"Don't… don't be the Commander's doll, First. You're not. Don't let them make you into one." _'Please don't let them make you. If they do it to you, what keeps them from doing it to me or Shinji?'_ She shivered.

"I am not a doll. I am I," Rei replied.

"Good. Don't ever let Commander Ikari or anyone tell you are, First. Being a real person means the ability to choose. To be able to say 'No' when authority tells you to do something wrong." Asuka took a deep breath and put it all aside. She had to talk about it with Shinji tonight. "How are you feeling? I know Benzodiazepine withdrawal is supposed to be nasty…"

"I am moderating the worst symptoms successfully with the counter-agents and an increase in Diazepam versus the other components of the regimen. I have cut my current does by over half," Rei said as calmly as she'd mentioned her willingness to die on order.

"Isn't that kind of fast?"

"Yes, but our constant exposure to LCL stabilizes many of our systems against chemical disruption. Our Synch Test tomorrow should help. I will also be interested to see what effects my reduction of dose and exposure to you and Ikari-kun has had on my Synch Rate."

"And the sooner we bring your score up, the sooner we can end this enforced togetherness Doctor Akagi has made us do. You and the Third are fine in small doses, and you're right there with me in a fight, but I would like to be able to just go shopping with Hikari or stuff by myself, too." A smile spread on Asuka's face. "Or just spend a Sunday morning lying in bed, enjoying being alive, until I feel like getting up." _'Or Shinji feels like 'getting up' again, heh heh heh. Gott damn it, baka, I swear I wasn't this lewd before you got a hold of me…'_

Rei studied her face intently. "Enjoying being alive…" she said oddly.

Asuka looked down. "Don't tell me I have to teach you that too."

"Not at this time. I am feeling less nauseous." She sat up. "I believe we can return to class now."

"Good. I worry that baka-Shinji might have gotten an entire harem following him by now without me there to keep him in line. Let's go."

Rei nodded, and followed Asuka out of the rest area, studying her closely the whole way.

.

"I feel sorrier for the First Child than ever. It just… doesn't make any sense to me, Shinji. Why raise a Pilot inside NERV so isolated that she acts like that? Why _drug_ her if you've had that close control over her upbringing? Why drug her but not us? They can't be all that _happy_ if the results are Wondergirl. Both of us have much better Synch Rates than her. What's the point? Is there some reason they need a Pilot who's willing to die on orders? That's just creepy…" Asuka shook her head against the pillow's soft comfort.

Asuka waited for a response from her boyfriend, but nothing came. "Shinji?"

"He _raised_ her. He's 'all she has'? He… he…" Shinji's arms around her tightened until he shook. "How _could he?!_"

Asuka blinked in surprise. Shinji was… furious. She'd never seen him this angry. The usual calm expression he gave the world, or the warm and loving one he showed her when they were alone was gone. His face was twisted in a violent combination of anger, pain, and betrayal. She'd seen the Third Child without his clothes a lot in the last two weeks, but she'd never seen Shinji this naked.

"Once a year! Once a _year_ I'd see him at mother's grave. He'd barely say three sentences to me! I ran away once, and he just had the police take me back to my sensei. He didn't even call. I spent half my childhood wondering what I'd done that made him just dump me at the train station and walk away, just seeing his back retreating over and over again in every fucking nightmare! Why wasn't I good enough?" Shinji almost pleaded with her, tears in his eyes. "And then he turns around and _raises_ Ayanami?! Why?! Why did he abandon me and take her?!"

_'Yet more evidence your dad is not exactly Father of the Year material. Then again, neither is mine,'_ Asuka thought. She just held Shinji close and didn't say anything. There was nothing she could say that could explain Commander Ikari's behavior. But she could remind him of other things. "I have no idea, Shinji. But… I'm glad he didn't."

That snapped Shinji out of his rant. "What?" he asked, his brow knotting.

"Would you want to be like Wondergirl? If your father had raised you, you might have ended up like her: a drugged robot ready to die when he orders you to. I… If you had acted l like that, if you'd been raised that way, do you think Misato would have taken you in, that you'd be living here, that we'd… be together? If you acted like her, I'd never have kissed you, and we wouldn't be lying in bed like this right now." She pulled his head down to hers for a kiss. "I like you the way you are, my baka. You're just like me. You can understand me and my pains because you suffered them too. I'm glad you're here and the man you are, Shinji. I was as alone as you, before. And if you weren't here, I still would be."

Shinji relaxed into her embrace and let out a long sigh. "I don't blame Ayanami. It's not her fault. How would she know? But I… I don't know how I could ever forgive my father. He considered it an important enough demand on his time to raise her, however badly. Why send me away? I… I'd _still_ do almost anything to get him to look at me. I hate him so much, but… You know how much that once little scrap of praise he gave me after the Tenth Angel made me feel good. Gods, I'm such a weak idiot if I still want that."

"I agree you're a dummy if you Pilot to try to earn his praise," Asuka snorted. "You don't need that."

"Don't you? I thought that's why you were so driven to be the best Pilot, so people would praise you?" he asked right back. "'To display your talents to the world', you said."

Asuka said nothing for a moment. "I used to," she said softly. "I needed it. I was so afraid no one would want me unless I was the best. I had to _make_people look at me, or I might disappear. But now…" She freed one hand from embracing him to softly stroke his face. "I'm not as worried. I know, no matter what, that you're looking at me. That if I should fall, you'll keep my memory close. Now I Pilot, I push myself to be the best because I want to _be_the best, and drag you with me. The two of us, the best in the world, defending humanity. You're a good Pilot, Shinji, almost as good as me. You have a better reason to Pilot now than hoping for empty words from your father."

Shinji looked at her, waiting.

"Misato. Wondergirl. Me. Even the Stooges. The people who care about you praise you, baka. Not lip service from a jerk who's unworthy of a son like you. Forget him. Do it for us. For me especially. I won't have anyone else as wingman but my baka-Shinji. You promised me; You and me, together, against everything. Lean on us, Shinji." _'I need you. I can't even tell you how much. You have to stay with me. You make me strong.'_

"Until the end of the world…" Shinji finished their promise. Yeah… I'd rather do it for you, and the others." He buried his face in her hair. "I just wish… I knew why my father is like this. Why he can love Ayanami, but not me?"

Asuka shook her head. "He makes her live in an apartment I wouldn't keep a dog in, drugs her so much I'm surprised she can blink, and has her ready to die on command. I don't think that's love, Shinji. You don't treat someone you love like that. I think you care more about Wondergirl than your father does. Hell, I think _I_ care more about her than he does.

Shinji pulled back far enough to look her in the face again. "So what are we going to do?"

Asuka grinned. "You want to get back at your father a bit? Then let's deprogram his little robot, and free Wondergirl from wanting to die. Let's make her into a real girl instead of his doll."

Shinji gave her a half-smile. "You want to help Ayanami? I thought you didn't like her?"

"Oh, I'm keeping her far away from getting her hands on you, mister. Still no 'Israfel Special' allowed. I'm starting to feel better about her, though, and hate your father a lot more. So we want to take away his toy, and help her really live?" Asuka said. "Then let's save Rei Ayanami."


	9. Ch 8 - '-we came in' Pt 1

Chapter 5 Pt 1

"-we came in?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Just do it, Misato. You know _I'd _do it if he'd asked me." Asuka winked in a way far too mature for her age.

Misato gave her a sly smirk. "Oh? So hot to have me out of the house so you can have alone time with Shin-chan?"

Asuka turned a little red. "EW! Don't even joke about that! Like I'd spend the whole evening slobbering over a little boy like baka-Shinji? Please!" She waved dismissively at the kitchen where Shinji was cooking dinner. "I'd love to get my hands all over a real hunk like Kaji, but since he asked _you_ out for drinks and not me, all I can do is encourage you to go so I can imagine it's me instead."

Misato shot Shinji a sympathetic look as she watched his shoulders slump at Asuka's latest insult to his masculinity. _'I saw that, Shinji. I can tell it hurts when she says things like that. You really should tell her you care about her. I think she'd like it. You could stand to be nicer to him too, Asuka. He's pretty cute already, and he's probably going to be as tall and broad-shouldered as his father one day. Grab him while you can!'_

Misato shook her head. It was pretty obvious to her sharp little eye that her two charges were more attracted to each other than either would admit (she thought it was cute the way they thought they hid it), but they'd only been dancing around each other since Asuka moved in. Even more so in the last two months: Asuka seemed to go out of her way to poke at Shinji some nights. Shinji would even shoot back sometimes, which made Misato snicker and Asuka flustered, which made Misato laugh even more. He had a snarky sense of humor when he let it out.

It had been making her think of her and Kaji back in college. She'd been hot for the tall, handsome future UN Special Inspector from the moment they'd met, but they'd danced around each other for almost a month before the week where they'd just skipped classes and spent the entire time in her bedroom. Watching Shinji and Asuka, and thinking about the conversation they'd had after that wedding, Misato had found herself slowly edging towards Kaji once again. He still wanted her, even after she'd admitted she'd lied about why she broke up with him. And she still wanted him.

Tonight he'd invited her out for drinks at that bar again. She wanted to go. She could even admit to herself she wouldn't mind if there was more on Kaji's mind than just drinks. But still...

"You sure you two will be alright by yourselves? You're not going to kill Shin-chan for looking at you funny?" she hesitated.

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Please, Misato. I can handle baka-Shinji. Somehow, I will control myself against his suave, Don Juan-like charms and not let him ravish me. Now get going. He and I will eat dinner, wash, and I'll send him right to bed."

Good enough for her. Misato grinned and picked up her red NERV jacket. Official wear or not, she looked damn good in it. "Fine. I'll probably be out late. Both of you make sure you're in bed on time." She headed for the door.

Asuka smiled and waved. "Oh, we will. Have a good time, Misato!" She held her pose until she heard the faint rumble of Misato's Alpine A310 leaving the parking lot.

"She's gone," she said quietly.

Shinji came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands dry. "Dinner's got half an hour to cook."

"Oh, how ever will we fill that time?" Asuka wondered in a not-at-all-innocent tone. She grabbed Shinji by the shoulders and dropped him into the chair at the table that Misato had just vacated. She hopped into his lap and twined her arms around his neck. "Mmm, hello there, Third Child..."

Shinji gave her an amused look. "So, you're going to control yourself against my suave, Don Juan-like charms, huh? Not going to let me ravish you?"

"I was telling the truth, just like we always do!" Asuka said piously. "You're much more like 'Shinji the Casanova' than Don Juan," she cheerfully continued. "He was much more cultured. And nope, you're not going to ravish me."

Shinji mock-pouted. "I'm not?"

"Nope. It's a Tuesday. My turn to ravish you. So c'mere."

There was no more talking for a while.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Walking down the school hallway on his way back from the bathroom, Shinji didn't see the pale hand reach out from the door next to him. He didn't notice it at all until it clamped over his mouth and dragged him into the storage closet. By then it was too late to get away, and the firm grip kept anything more than a few muffled squawks from escaping.

The door snapped shut immediately after he was dragged in to the dark closet. Shinji tried to pull the hand away from his mouth and shout.

"SHHHH! It's me, baka!" Asuka hissed right in his ear.

Shinji relaxed, his panic ebbing. Asuka still didn't remove her hand from his mouth until the sound of footsteps faded away in the corridor.

"What'd you do that for? I was about to start punching," Shinji hissed back in the darkness. He turned around to face her, but could barely see her outline in the dark.

He could hear the frustration and embarrassment in Asuka's voice perfectly clearly, though. "We need to talk. Wondergirl has been all over us like Misato on a case of beer for the last four days, and Misato's been home and sober at night, so we haven't been able to do anything but cuddle. I know we're helping Ayanami act more normal, but this is a bit much. I'm going nuts."

Shinji automatically nodded, despite the dark. They'd been force to be extremely circumspect this week at home. It had turned out they could both be pretty vocal when 'entangling their AT-Fields', Asuka especially. So when Misato was around and awake, total restraint had been their only choice. "Ayanami has been rather persistent," he agreed.

"She's been a Gott-damned Terminator. So I grabbed you in here so we could talk. What are we going to do with her?"

"Well, we could-"

"You make that 'Israfel Special' joke one more time, Third Child, and I swear I will make you eat Misato's cooking… _cold_."

"Not that! I was going to say 'Hey, were alone right now…'" He let his voice trail off suggestively.

There was a moment's pause, followed by the sound of a shirt being taken off. "I love it when you use your brain. Hurry up and get undressed."

"The school cleaning supply closet has got to be the least romantic place we could possibly have sex."

"Good thing I love you so much it doesn't matter. Now hurry."

He unbuttoned his shirt. "Do you think we'll be able to keep it quiet enough in here? The walls are thicker than at home, but not soundproof."

"I'm very well motivated to be quiet right now, Shinji, because I _really_ want this to happen. Now get your 'Positron Rifle' into 'firing position', quickly."

"You say the most sensual things, liebchen," he said dryly.

"Shut up and kiss me."

Then silence (mostly) reigned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rei had always watched the world around her. When she had still been taking the full dose of her tranquilizers, it had been a very detached observation, but she had still enjoyed it, as much as she enjoyed anything back then.

But now that she was clearing her head of the drugs, the world had developed intriguing new depth, especially with Pilot Soryu's help in deciphering the complicated world of social signals and communication that she had previously been content to ignore. It was proving fascinating. Watching and deconstructing the behavior of her classmates was providing and increasing database for assisting her own behavior to be more normal, as well as giving her something to focus on to control the intensifying mood swings and hormonal rushes of feeling.

Some of these feelings were becoming very difficult to ignore. She'd found herself intently watching Aida-san, Suzuhara-san, and Ikari-kun... very much watching Ikari-kun. She had increasing desires to... do _something_ with Ikari-kun, but she also observed the way Pilot Soryu would tense up whenever other girls approached him, and the sharp rise in signals of anger, frustration, and possessiveness. Regretfully, but unwilling to disrupt her newer, friendlier relationship with the Second Child, she had refrained from attempting any experiments with Ikari-kun, as much as she wanted to. Careful thought had determined that approaching Suzuahara-san would likely cause similar reactions in Horaki-san, so she had likewise rejected approaching the tall, tanned, and athletic boy.

She had yet to begin any experiments with Aida-san, but she felt the time was about right. She was very interested in acquiring new data in this field. She-

Her head snapped around. Ikari-kun had returned from a curiously long visit to the bathroom. Pilot Soryu came in moments later.

Rei's eyes narrowed the tiniest bit. Both Pilot Soryu and Ikari-kun had left earlier, separately. They had been displaying increasing signs of tension and frustration over the last few days, particularly Pilot Soryu. Those signs were now gone. Both of her friends now looked relaxed, happy, and satisfied. Rei watched them carefully as they walked closer to her and took their seats.

Her nose twitched. She'd noticed a sharp rise in her senses' acuity as the drug dosages faded. Colors, sounds, and right now scents were sharper and clearer than ever before. And right now, both Ikari-kun and Pilot Soryu smelled strongly of chlorine, ammonia, dust... and each other.

Several things snapped into place and a cascade of thoughts rolled through Rei's mind. _'Observation: Ikari-kun and Pilot Soryu have returned to the classroom smelling alike and of each other, their tension gone. Conclusion: they have just engaged in some activity together ina confined space that satisfied them both. Second conclusion: They utilized the school cleaning supply closet to engage in... sexual intercourse?'_ The subject was suddenly utterly fascinating. _'Observation: Ikari-kun and Pilot Soryu have been engaged in a complicated act for the last several weeks involving concealing their actual feelings for each other from the public at large but not from each other. They have attempted physical intimacies when they believed I could not observe them. They have presented evidence of intense, reciprocal affection. Both have displayed signs of concealed anger and tension when members of the opposite sex have attempted to 'flirt' with the other. Conclusion: Pilot Soryu and Ikari-kun are engaged in a romantic and sexual relationship. Observation: they have taken great pains to maintain the appearance that they are mutually antagonistic and uninvolved, especially around Major Katsuragi. They have steadily acted to encourage Hikari-san and Suzuhara-san to bond and devote their attention to each other. Conclusion: They are actively trying to conceal their relationship from their friends and superiors at NERV._

Rei pondered that last point. _'Why? Their feelings for each other are obvious to me. From her commentary at most dinners, Major Katsuragi is at a minimum aware of their attraction to each other. Yet they have spent weeks concealing that they are in a relationship. Tentative conclusion: they fear exposure of their relationship will result in actions by Major Katsuragi or NERV command that will separate them. Sub-conclusion: they would not fear this or devote so much effort to protecting it if it was not very important to them. Secrecy is protection and safety for their relationship. They do not want others to remove that choice or happiness from them.'_

Rei turned in her seat enough to be able to see Ikari-kun's face. He looked so happy Rei had the sudden urge to ask for a hug. Hugs were another topic that was becoming very interesting to her. She looked at Pilot Soryu. She was likewise smiling vaguely, and occasionally shooting lidded glances at Ikari-kun.

Rei settled back into her seat. Her friends were... keeping secrets. Secrets that they feared would result in loss if exposed. She felt slightly hurt that they had not confided in her. Was she not their friend too? A fellow Pilot? Did they not have bonds of shared danger and experience? She understood from her reading that such bonds were supposed to be very strong. Did they fear she would tell? Were they unaware of how good she was at keeping secrets?

_'Of course they are unaware. If they were aware of how well I kept secrets, they would know them, thus disproving the assertation,'_ Rei thought with more amusement than she was even capable of a few weeks ago.

Her mild humor faded. _'My secrets. Commander Ikari has always stressed that the Scenario is a secret that __**cannot**__ be revealed to anyone. That it's exposure would allow SEELE's plan to control the evolution of humanity to triumph, and end that is unacceptable. I am entrusted with this secret because of my key role as part of his Scenario to prevent SEELE's victory. He has state there is no other choice for humanity but the amalgamation of all souls via Third Impact, and that his plan is a better end than eternal domination by SEELE. Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki has corroborated this. Commander Ikari has stated that I will be permitted to die and return to oblivion upon the successful conclusion of his Scenario. This is something I have long wished for. The increased clarity and vibrancy of the world due to my reduced drug intake is partially offset by the increasing pain of living. I would eagerly welcome an end to my pain. Yet...'_

She looked back over her shoulder again at Ikari-kun's smile. _'SEELE's plan or the Commander's Scenario... both result in the end of Ikari-kun and Pilot Soryu's lives as individuals and their happiness together. I do not wish to harm either of them that way. Commander Ikari has said Third Impact is inevitable, unavoidable, and that his Scenario is the best path, the only path. Could he be... wrong?'_

Rei placed the troubling, almost heretical thought aside for now. In the immediate term, she would emulate their tactics: she would conceal the extent of her own changes from NERV command and those around her, even her friends, until she had more time to fully evaluate how the changes affected her. Then she would consider how much, if any, of her own secrets to reveal to the Second and Third Children. In the meantime, she'd begin her own program of experiments to increase her knowledge of life.

"Hey, First. You ready for the Synch Test tomorrow?" Asuka whispered behind her.

Rei smiled faintly. Her Synch Rate had begun a definite if slow rise since she began reducing her drug dosage and associating with the other Pilots. Doctor Akagi had informed her they would continue the association for as long as her scores continued their rise. She was glad. She liked having friends. She didn't feel as alone.

"Yes, Pilot Soryu. Perhaps this week I will surpass you."

Asuka snorted. "Fat chance, Wondergirl. You'd have better luck defeating an Angel by making out with it."

"We shall see."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Wondergirl? You here?"

"I am, Pilot Soryu," Rei answered from the living room.

Asuka shook her head as she and Shinji walked in. The place was still nearly bare of furnishings. If not for Rei's reply, Asuka could have thought the apartment totally empty.

Misato had visited Rei's old apartment after Asuka's description, and had been (to put it mildly) appalled. She'd complained to Doctor Akagi and Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki about Rei's living conditions, and after a week had managed to get Rei moved out. Which was an entirely good thing as far as Asuka was concerned.

Unfortunately for her and Shinji's privacy, Misato had moved Rei into the empty apartment right next door to them. Which meant Rei could stick around them until almost bedtime, and usually ate dinner with them now too. Asuka and Shinji had been cut back to little more than their own room for places they could be open to each other.

On the plus side, it meant that on weekends like this, it was simply a matter of walking right over to Rei's new apartment to fulfill Doctor Akagi's continuing mandate that they spend lots of time together. And helping Rei continue to wean herself off the sedatives she'd been taking was an intense project. It had been starting to show positive effects. Rei was more lively at school, even more so when just with her fellow Pilots. She was talking more in school and acting overall much less like a robot. Asuka was much less put off by her lately, or would have been if she wasn't a walking impediment to weekend Shinji-snuggling time.

They _had_ managed to convince Rei it was alright for them to go to the bathroom separately, at least. That had been a bit awkward at the beginning. They'd even gotten the occasional twenty or thirty minutes out of Rei's sight, occasions which Asuka took full advantage of, usually by dragging Shinji into the nearest shadowy corner and kissing him senseless. Though over the last few days Rei herself had begin occasionally disappearing, which Asuka intended to ask her about today.

"So I heard something weird at school yesterday, First Child. They found Geek-Stooge passed out in-" Asuka slammed to a halt, spun around, and slapped her hands over Shinji's eyes.

"Hey! What?" he yelped, startled.

"Don't move, baka. Wondergirl, _put some clothes on!_"

Rei blinked at her, still holding the lacy, pale blue bra up in front of herself. She looked down. The matching panties set off her hair nicely. "Oh, right. Clothes."

"Why are you trying on underwear in the middle of the living room?! Are you _trying _to flash yourself to baka-Shinji?!" _'You had better not be, First Child. Mine!'_

"Why would I do that, Pilot Soryu? Ikari-kun has already seen me without clothing. I am trying the new set on in here because the light is better."

Asuka growled at the reminder. "That does not mean you need to give this pervy baka any more free shows!"

There was a rustle of cloth behind them, and Rei announced, "I am wearing clothes now, Pilot Soryu."

Asuka released her hands from Shinji's eyes and turned back around. She still ground her teeth. Rei looked _great_ in a light sundress that clung to her figure. And if Asuka thought she looked good, she must look fantastic to Shinji. "Alright, Wondergirl. The hall monitors found Geek-Stooge passed out in the hall yesterday right after lunch started, and supposedly you had been seen leaving the area. What did you do to him?"

"I was attempting to follow your instructions on how to interact with boys, and calibrate my social skills. The attempt provided valuable data, but inconclusive results."

"Wondergirl. What. Did. You. Do?"

"What you told me to."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_"Classmate Aida-san."_

_Kensuke looked up in surprise. Rei Ayanami had stopped him, which was new. She'd been looking around class more than she used to, and he'd even seen her staring at him occasionally, but she'd never spoken to him before. Up close, her ethereal beauty was even more stunning. She had such a cool, soothing presence. Of course, to a fourteen year old boy like himself, that presence did little to calm him enough to form actual sentences at this kind of closeness. "Er... Y-yes, Ayanami-san?" He tried not to sweat. _

_"I would like to ask you a favor."_

_"Um... S-sure? Anything you need."_

_"Are these attractive panties?" Rei lifted her skirt. "I have been advised not to wear 'boring'..."_

_THUD_

_"Classmate Aida-san?" Rei lowered her hands and gave a very tiny frown at the collapsed teen. "It is difficult to evaluate my social interaction attempts when you fall unconscious, Aida-san. Still, this does provide some data. Thank you for your assistance."_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Shinji and Asuka stared at Rei. They turned and looked at each other for a second, then went back to staring right back at Rei. "You _what?!_" they finally blurted in stereo.

"You told me 'if and when you ever show them off to someone who is not the Third Child, wear something better than those panties, because that is the most boring underwear you have ever seen'. Now that I had different underwear, I determined to test their attractiveness. I therefore selected Aida-san as a test assistant, as you have denied me the use of Ikari-kun for such, and Suzuhara-san spends all his time with Horaki-san."

Asuak tried to make sense of this. "Why the Stooges?'

"They are Ikari-kun's friends. This indicates they are likely good people."

"You're basing your entire evaluation of if they are 'good people' on whether they like Shinji or not?"

"It is the largest single factor, yes."

_'Well, I can't really say that's a bad thing. I like spending time with my baka too...' _"That's... well, I guess you could pick worse than the Stooges. But it's a good thing you didn't pull that with Jock-Stooge. Hikari would have killed you. And maybe him, too," Asuka pointed out.

"That is why I selected Aida-san, yes."

Shinji smiled. His and Asuka's plan to maneuver their friends together had gone well. A few weeks of inviting the two along to their daily lunches and then slipping away to leave them alone had finally led to Touji (with just a _bit _of hinting and pushing by Shinji) actually asking Hikari out last Friday. The pair had been inseparable ever since, though both of them still blushed any time someone mentioned it. Kensuke had already started complaining to Shinji about their friend acting like a 'lovey-dovey idiot'. Best of all, their friends had been thoroughly distracted from noticing the Pilots' secrets, just as they'd planned.

Asuka was still looking at Rei in confusion. "But _why_ did you do it? Why did you feel the need to check how attractive your underwear was to a boy?"

Rei just stared right back at her.

A look of shock slowly dawned on Asuka's face. "Oh Gott no."

Shinji looked back and forth between them. "What? What is it?"

"Wondergirl has discovered _boys_."


	10. Ch 9 - '-we came in' Pt 2

Chapter 5 Pt 2

"-we came in?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kensuke halted sharply. Rei Ayanami was standing calmly in the corner at the end of the hallway, like she had been... lying in wait. For him. Again. Well, maybe 'again': he still wasn't entirely certain that last incident had actually happened. That couldn't have been real, right?

Rei's red eyes locked with his. "Classmate Aida-san," she greeted him. "I would like to request your assistance again."

_'Oh, so that __**did**__ happen?'_ "Um... um... Ok?" He braced himself, but Rei did not do anything as nosebleed-inducing as last time. She just looked at him carefully.

"Have you ever been hugged?" she asked.

He blinked. What kind of question was that? "Um... yes?"

"Good. I have not. I wish to establish a baseline for further tests."

_'What? That couldn't be what it sounded like. She's never been hugged?'_ "...So you want...?"

"I would like to hug you to establish a baseline."

"...okay?"

Rei lightly stepped over to him and put her arms around him. He went stiff as a board in shock. Sure, he'd been hugged before, but that was family members and stuff. This... he'd never had a girl his own age do this, especially not one that looked like Rei Ayanami. _'Double especially after what she did on Friday oh gods this is a bad time to think of that she's so warm and pressed right against me...'_

Fortunately for Kensuke's peace of mind, Rei released him and stepped back before he could pass out again, or anything else embarrassing happen. "Thank you, Aida-san. That was valuable data for my baseline, and... not unpleasant."

He was very, very confused. "You're welcome?"

Rei turned and walked off without another word. Kensuke stood there staring after her long after she passed through the doors to the schoolyard.

"What the heck just happened?" he asked the empty hallway.

.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

.

Asuka liked a lot of things about being in love, but the quiet times after all the more vigorous moments in their room were quickly becoming her favorites. Just lying there with Shinji, holding each other close, feeling his chest rise and fall with his breath, listening to his heartbeat under her ear... She could let down all her walls, not have to pretend anything, not have to _fear_ anything... just be Asuka, and know she was in the arms of someone who loved her.

She hadn't had that in ten years.

"Shinji?"

"Mmm?"

"I am so glad you decided to hold me, that first time. Look what it led to."

Shinji was oddly quiet for a minute. "You want to know something funny, Asuka? I didn't."

She craned her head so she could see his face without having to lift her head from his chest. "Say what?" she asked, confused.

"I... I didn't decide anything. I was about to fall down. You had my nose pinched shut, and I was starting to get wobbly from lack of air, and I grabbed onto you to stay up."

"You were just falling down?!" Asuka couldn't decide if she was angry, surprised, or just confused. "That's it?"

"I wanted to keep going! The girl of my dreams was _kissing me_, and I froze! I just wanted to keep kissing you, so I grabbed on to you to stay up, so we could keep going. I was afraid to touch you!"

"Afraid to... so if you hadn't nearly passed out, you'd have just stood there, not moving, because you were afraid to _touch me_?"

"Probably. You were literally the girl of my dreams, Asuka. One touch of your lips and I locked up. I'd have stood there and kissed you for as long as I could."

"But not done anything. Wow. That would have been _bad_, Shinji. When I felt you put your hands on me, I thought I had finally gotten through to you that I _wanted_ you to. It made me so happy that you'd finally _reacted_ to my hints. If you'd have just stood there and not done anything, I'd have thought you were rejecting me. Gott, I'd have probably run off in tears! I couldn't have stood it, thinking you rejected me when I'd just kissed you!"

"I... I'm sorry. You know I'm your baka. I'm just... you're too much, Asuka. I can barely make my brain work when I'm around you. That first kiss just blew all my fuses." He shook his head. "If you'd run off, I wouldn't have had the faintest idea what to do. I'd have just stood there, confused as anything, until Kaji brought Misato in."

"Gott, I'd have been acting all flirty at Kaji, trying to cover up how hurt I would have been... I really risked my heart on that kiss, Shinji. I'd have been an utter bitch to you for _days_ afterward if we'd messed that one up, maybe weeks. I am so damn glad you kissed me back."

"I'm glad too. I've never been this happy, Asuka. I'd just be sitting in my room for hours, listening to music on my SDAT player for hours because I had nothing else to do but feel empty. Now..." He nuzzled her hair. "I don't think I've touched it since that night. You sure had me convinced you didn't need anything from me. Your mask was just too good. I didn't have a clue how you felt."

Asuka snorted. "That's my baka-Shinji. Eh, not like I could have just spit it out that I was attracted to you, not over my pride. Mmm... speaking of masks, I think we've haven't been hostile enough in class lately. I've been hearing some girls' locker room rumors about us. I think we need to have a big public argument tomorrow."

Shinji smiled into her hair. Of all the things that had changed since he and Asuka opened up to each other, having to _schedule_ their public arguments had to be the funniest. "Hmm... I could 'forget' our lunches because I was too busy or something. That'd give you a big excuse to tear into me."

"Ugh, that means school food. That's definitely a good reason to yell at you. I'm not going to have to act that part. I like your cooking. Fine, that'll work. We'll have to make sure we're in a hurry leaving this morning, or Ayanami will notice later that our excuse doesn't hold water."

Shinji shrugged. "Like I said last night, I think she's on to us, but just hasn't said anything."

To his surprise, Asuka shivered. "What's wrong?"

Asuka was silent for a minute. "If she knows, maybe she won't say anything, sure, but if she can figure it out so can others. And if others figure it out, it can get back to Misato, and she can... make us stop this." She squeezed her arms around him. "I... don't want to stop, Shinji. I... need this. I need _you_. I can't be alone again."

Shinji considered the idea himself. Being alone again, spending the nights in hollow solitude in his room, the same tracks on his SDAT tape cycling over and over... Cold, lonely, no comforting warmth and steady breathing beside him in the endless, pressing dark... He shivered as well. He wouldn't be able to stand it either. He'd rather give up breathing than lose Asuka next to him at night. He tried to inject as much confidence into his voice as he could. It wasn't a lot. "Ayanami hasn't said a word about what we've been doing with the drugs she had to take and stuff. I told you how we got all those counter-drugs from Doctor Akagi's supplies. She's been keeping that secret pretty tight. I think she's good at keeping secrets." _'I really, really hope she is,'_ he thought.

Even beneath his fears, Shinji still felt a little glow of happiness. The Asuka of two months ago could never have flatly said to him 'I need you' to him, or anyone. The Shinji of two months ago would never have believed it. Now it felt as natural and necessary as breathing. _'She needs me. She loves me.'_

"I just don't want anything to keep us apart. I know you need this just as much as I do." Asuka gave a grim chuckle. "Gott, think about how our Synch Rates would crash if they did try to separate us. Maybe we could use that to blackmail Misato into letting us stay together like this if and when she finds out?"

Shinji laughed softly. "Yeah, maybe." His smile faded. "That day is coming, Asuka. We can't keep this hidden forever. The way being together is changing us alone will give it away eventually. Look at how hard it's getting to keep up the 'we're mad at each other' act."  
"I know," she replied. "But I'm happy now, and I don't want anything to change that. I just want to stay like this forever."

A bolt of lightning shot through Shinji. _'Forever. Forever?'_ He swallowed. There was a question that had been looming in his mind for weeks now, that he'd likewise avoided really facing because he was content to just enjoy the first honest period of happiness he'd had since before he could remember. But like the prospect of them being eventually discovered, it was an inevitable question that had to be asked. "Asuka… where are we going?"

"What?"

"…us. Where are we going? You just said 'forever'. I… I want to stay like this too. I can barely imagine living without you anymore. I think… you feel the same. But I can't even change the will they made us fill out to name you as my beneficiary without everyone asking 'why?'. What are we going to do?"

Asuka's grip on him got tighter. "Don't… You're not allowed to die, baka. Not ever." She lapsed into silence for a minute. "I don't know where we're going. We're teenagers. We're soldiers. It could all end next week. As long as we're together, I don't care. And you already promised me that first morning: 'Together, forever and always'. Until the end of the world, you and me. We stay together until we don't make each other happy any more. And if that means until we're both dead, then that's that." She hugged him again. "We'll get found out one day, maybe soon. When that happens, when we have to go public, no matter what I'm claiming you in front of the whole school. Even if they make us go back to sleeping apart, I'm going to make sure the whole world knows you're mine and I love you."

"Asuka… did… did you just…" Shinji tried to crane his head to see her face. "Are you _crying_?"

"Just… shut up and hold me, baka."

"…I love you too."

.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

.

"Yes!" Touji exclaimed happily. "Lunch lunch lunch! It's the best part of any school day! Especially when it's your cooking, Horaki-san!"

The Class Rep blushed. "Suzuhara-san, you don't have to praise me like that."

"But I like to! I want everyone to know my girlfriend is an awesome cook!" Touji still began to match her blush despite his brave words. He opened the neatly wrapped bento and sniffed deeply. "Mmm! So much better than school food!"

Kensuke gagged and rolled his eyes in the next desk over. Watching his buddy act like a lovestruck fool with his new girlfriend was halfway between comedy and disaster. Touji's swing from deriding the Class Rep as a 'pig-tailed, pig-headed dictator' to randomly mumbling about how cute she was had been a mind-warping change over the last several weeks.

"What do you _mean_, you didn't bring our lunches?!"

Kensuke smirked as he looked towards the front of the classroom. Then again, some things hadn't changed at all…

Shinji cowered beneath Asuka's rage, raising his hands in a futile placating gesture. "L-last night I was very busy with housework and schoolwork! I didn't have time to cook! And we left in a hurry this morning!"

"And because of _that_, you're telling me I have to go without lunch?!" Asuka yelled at him. "Or eat cafeteria slops?! UGH!"

Touji looked up from a mouthful of Hikari's vegetables and steamed rice. He grinned at the familiar eruption from the redhead. "Oi, oi, what's this? A quarrel between husband and wife?"

Much of the rest of the class exploded in laughter, save for Tanaka and a few of the girls who still harbored designs on the Third Child. Those gave Asuka death glares instead. Her unspoken claim of Shinji as her sole private punching bag and servant was well established.

Shinji and Asuka turned impressive shades of red at the quip and looked at the floor. Asuka particularly seemed in shock, her expression going strangely distant for a second before she and Shinji whirled on Touji and shouted in perfect unison, "It's not like that!" Their synchronicity only caused the laughter to redouble.

Ayanami caught the momentary glance the two Pilots shot between them as Asuka shuffled to her seat and covered her face until the blush faded, but said nothing.

Asuka covered her face with her hands to hide more than the blush and tried to slow her pounding heartbeat. That… that hadn't gone quite as planned. _'No. No. No. Do not think that, Soryu. You can't It's impossible. It's stupid. It's only been two months. Nine weeks. Fifty-three days. It's too soon to even imagine that.'_ Her heart refused to listen, pounding right along. _'But it sounded so good~'_ whispered the part of her that had spent too many lonely nights in tears, the part that had pushed so hard to try that first kiss with Shinji. The part that didn't want to ever be alone again.

The part that had heard 'husband and wife' and started _singing_.

_'No. No. No. It's crazy, Soryu. You're teenagers! You even mention it, and he'll think you're insane! And what if he says 'no'?! You could make him run away, leave! What do you do then?'_ her fears screamed.

_'He promised, 'forever and always'. He's just like you. He needs you like you need him. He loves you even without the mask. He's risked his life for you more than once. He'd tear down Heaven for you. He asked where you two were going last night, and when you said 'until we die' he didn't say no…'_ her hopes countered.

"He's just like me," she whispered to herself. _'He's got to be having the same kinds of thoughts, right? So… I can… ask him. What he thought when Jock-Stooge said that, anyhow. I can do that, right? It's just mentioning a joke and… who are you kidding, Soryu? You can't lie to him like that, not anymore. He knows you better than anyone else in the world, and after that conversation last night it won't exactly be subtle. So we either bury the idea and never mention it for years, or… we really ask him what he thought about it.'_ Asuka swallowed against a suddenly dry throat. _'Oh Gott, don't let me screw this up!'_

_''Til death do us part. Until the end of the world. Forever and always. He's __**already**__ promised. He's mine! He loves me!'_ sang a deeper part of her.

Crimson eyes carefully watched her, and thought.

.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

.

"Pilot Soryu."

"Wondergirl," Asuka grunted in reply. She'd tried not to let the First Child's early arrival this morning ruin her mood. They'd been ready to leave in a hurry whenever Rei knocked to maintain the to-be-used-later excuse that Shinji had forgotten their lunches, but the bluenette had arrived even earlier than they'd expected, so Asuka had been denied her customary last few moments to sneak in a couple more kisses with Shinji before they left for the day.

And now that they were finally on their way home, Rei had stopped them on a random side street on the way and turned to face them with a serious expression on her face. Or as close to a 'serious expression' as Wondergirl got. Two months and a bit of paying closer attention to the First Child and teaching her how social behavior had let Asuka get better at reading the usually stoic Pilot, but it was still a tricky feat.

"I have a request of you and Ikari-kun."

Asuka shared a puzzled glance with Shinji. "Go on."

"I have established a baseline for social physical contact experiments. Now that I have done so, I would like to conduct further experiments with subjects beyond the baseline, to compare the difference between that and subjects I have special feelings towards."

_'Special feelings?'_ Asuka exchanged an even more puzzled look with Shinji. "Er... what?"

"I wish to hug Ikari-kun, to see how that feels different from a hug from classmate Aida-san, my baseline. I believe my feelings for Ikari-kun will produce highly different sensations and emotions."

Asuka felt her hackles start to rise and an almost instinctive growl begin in the base of her throat. "Now wait just a minute here, First Child! You can't just-" she began heatedly.

"And you as well, Pilot Soryu."

Asuka's growl ground to a confused stop. "What?"

"I wish to hug you as well."

"Y... you want to... what? Me?" Asuka tried to wrap her head around the request.

"My feelings for you are similar, but different from those I have for Ikari-kun. You have been a steady support as I weaned myself of the drugs I had been ordered to take and a tireless guide in socialization. I believe hugging you would also prove... beneficial to my exploration," Rei said, a trifle awkwardly.

"I... suppose?" Asuka allowed. "I... damn it, Wondergirl, this is confusing. Just... do it. Go ahead." She waved at Shinji.

Shinji looked from Asuka to Rei in a tiny panic. The last time he'd touched Rei, it hadn't been very graceful or proper. For her part, Rei had the barest hint of a blush on her cheeks. She stepped close to Shinji and gently put her arms around him. She laid her head on Shinji's shoulder and closed her eyes, the faintest smile on her lips.

It was so damned cute Asuka found her jealousy somewhat tempered. "Well, don't just stand there like a stunned duck, baka!" she growled at Shinji. "Put your arms around her too! When someone holds you, you are supposed to hold them right back! You should know that by now!"

Shinji reddened further and he hesitantly raised his arms from his sides to embrace Rei. The First Child made a small 'mmm' when he did. Asuka grit her teeth and let it go on for as long as she could stand.

Just before she was about to demand Wondergirl let him go, Rei raised her head ans stepped back out of Shinji's arms anyway. "Thank you, Ikari-kun. It appears my theory was correct. That was... very pleasant." She turned towards Asuka.

_'Ok, this is just strange. Which is par for the course with Wondergirl, I guess,'_ Asuka thought. She somewhat awkwardly raised her arms to accept Rei's embrace as she stepped in to her space.

It was strangely different experience from holding Shinij. Rei's softer curves and oddly familiar scent were very unlike Shinji's familiar warmth. _'She smells totally like... LCL?'_ Asuka suddenly recognized with some confusion. Sure, they all smelled like that a lit, but it had been days since their last Synch Test, and Asuka was diligent about scrubbing herself thoroughly in the showers afterward to get as much od it gone as she could. She was even more dedicated about it at home. Her vast array of imported German bath and beauty products weren't there _solely_ due to her vanity. Getting the smell of LCL out was a constant struggle.

But Wondergirl smelled only of soap, young woman, and LCL. It was just... odd.

_'Oh, quit trying to distract yourself, Soryu. Wondergirl's not that bad a hugger. This feels... kind of nice.'_ As much as she loved Shinji, he'd been the _only_ person to hold her like that in years. So having another person hug her as well was still a nice, novel experience.

Rei stepped back away from her after a minute. "I was indeed correct. That was an entirely different and more complex feeling than my baseline, from both of you. Thank you both."

Asuka looked at Shinji again. He gave a small shrug. _'Yeah, I don't know quite what to make of that either.'_

"Now I would like to see you two. I think the observation of you both would be very illuminating for me."

Asuka snapped her face towards Rei. "Wait, _what?_ You want to watch _us_ hug?"

"Yes."

"Are you crazy, Wondergirl? I wouldn't touch this baka with a ten foot pole!"

"My feelings for the both of you ensured an extremely different set of reactions compared to my baseline. I believe the feelings you two have for each other will produce an even more marked effect. I wish to observes this closely. You both seem to derive great happiness from it. I wish to experience that as well, even if I can only do it by observation at this time."

Asuka gave Shinji a dismissive look before returning her gaze to Rei. "You think because I hate this baka, you want to watch to what strong feelings you can see when I _hug_ him?" she said sarcastically.

"No, because you love him."

Asuka had to call on years of learning to control her face in trying to conceal the bolt of shock and fear that raced through her. She managed a haughty laugh. "What are you _talking_ about, First? Me? In love with this idiot? Are you drunk?"

"I am not drunk. You and Ikari-kun have been engaged in a clandestine relationship for several weeks now. You have intense romantic feelings for each other. I am..." Rei paused, visibly struggling to find the right word. "Envious," she said eventually.

"_Envious?!_ Are you fucking with me, Wondergirl?"

"I am not 'fucking with you', Pilot Soryu. That is Ikari-kun's job."

The distant cry of an ice cream salesman was the only sound in their small side street for a long minute.

Shinji unfroze first. "Did... did you just make a _joke_, Ayanami?"

Rei turned her red eyes to him. "Oops?" she said. "Did I do it incorrectly?"

"Nope," Asuka said through a dry mouth, once she had managed to close her dropped jaw. "That... that was pretty spot on." She looked hurriedly around. She knew Section 2 was supposed to have them under constant distant guard, but she rarely if ever spotted them in action. From what Shinji had mentioned about his first attempt at running away from NERV months ago, Section 2 had taken days to track him down, and he hadn't even left the city very far. Asuka had little fear they were actually watching them. "You... you can't tell anyone about us, First. They... they'd separate us. We dont' want that. At all."

Rei's expression was unreadable. "We all have our secrets, Pilot Soryu. You are my friend. I will keep yours."

The sudden relief almost made Asuka's knees buckle. She put one hand on her chest to try calming her heartbeat from the rabbit-fast beat it had kicked up to. "Thank you." She looked at Rei more closely. The merest hint of a smile was on her face. "My friend, huh? Then enough of this 'Pilot Soryu' formality. Just call me 'Asuka', Wondergirl."

A small but true smile spread on Rei's face. "Then please call me 'Rei', Asuka." She gave a small bow at Shinji. "And you, Ikari-kun."

Shinji blushed again. "Aya-... Rei. Please call me 'Shinji'."

Asuka shook her head. "So what gave us away? I thought we were pretty convincing today."

"You were, but your anger when other girls would attempt to flirt with Ik-... with Shinji was noticeable. Also, you both came back from the 'bathroom' smiling and smelling like the cleaning closet two weeks ago." She looked between them again. "So may I see you hug now? I wish to observe this 'love'. Wink wink nudge nudge."

Shinji turned bright red again.

Asuka stared at her, then began laughing. "Oh Gott, Wondergirl... you and humor is going to be a whole new teaching campaign for me, isn't it?"

"Nyuk nyuk nyuk."


	11. Ch 10 - The Storm Breaks Pt 1

Advice and Trust

Chapter 6

The Storm Breaks

"Is the patient in Room 12 ready? Her guests are here."

"You mean that young girl from the first Angel attack? She's been here quite a while, hasn't she?"

"Well, she did have a rather complex injury. Quite a difficult case."

"Hard for a girl that young. She's still just an elementary school student!"

"That boy's come again to see her, and he's brought along a girl this time."

"He never misses a visit. Twice a week, like clockwork. He's a very good brother, to be thinking of his sister so much."

"You're right. Responsible young men like that are so rare these days. And he and that girl make such a cute couple."

The nurses' voices were only minor background noise to Touji. He wasn't really paying attention. Most of his focus was on the petite brunette with him. He and Hikari were _in public. As a couple!_ He was trying not to blush again. The entire trip here from their neighborhood he'd gone red every time he looked at the girl standing next to him on the train. "Thanks for comin' with me again, Hikari. It means a lot to me."

Hikari smiled. She was already cheerful from her first triumph of the day; getting Touji to call her by first name. She'd thrown on her Class Rep persona and confidently declared it was silly for them to be so formal, still calling each other 'Suzuhara-san' and 'Horaki-san' when they'd literally known each other for years and were now dating. She'd needed her forceful in-school persona for that; when she'd first tried it in the mirror at home the night before, she'd dissolved into mumbles and flushes at the audacity of such an intimate request. "It's nothing, T- t- Touji! She's a sweet girl, and I'm glad to visit her with you."

"She likes you too, I think." He scratched the back of his head. "I'm not sure what she meant by 'you have my blessing', though. Blessing what?"

Hikari went incandescent. "I... I'm... I'm sure it was nothing!" she squeaked. "Hahaha! That Sakura, such a joker! Talking like she's the head of the family or something!"

"Well, dad and I usually let her run rings around us anyhow,so she might as well be in charge. She's totally got dad wrapped around her finger. I can't say 'no' to her either. She's just too cute." He smiled at her. "I bet you've got your dad under your control, too, you and your sisters."

"Well, maybe a little. I just do all the cooking because I'm the best at it. It's not like I've taken over the house. I'm just playing mom."

Touji looked a little sad at the reminder. "I wish I could have met your mom. She sounds like she was really nice."

"Yours too," Hikari replied. Their hands sought each other out and they intertwined their fingers. Finding out they had that in common had been an emotional date. They'd ended up closer than ever, though, so Touji couldn't feel totally bad about it

Hikari impulsively pulled him into a hug. "I'm glad we're here, Touji. I've wanted to date you for months."

He awkwardly returned the hug, still embarrassed about doing it in public. "Me too. Good thing Shinji and the others asked us to help fend off all his admirers interfering with their training, huh?" He laughed. "And we're doing better than Shinji and Asuka are! Man, those two really need to stop pretending they can't stand each other and just go out or somethin'. The whole class can see Asuka's declared him her property."

Hikari giggled. "I know! When I asked her about Ikari-kun a few weeks ago, she called him a 'baka' every other sentence, but I can still tell she thinks he's cute. We should talk to them, try to get Ikari-kun to ask her out. I bet she'd go for it, and I know they'd be so cute together!"

Touji snorted. "The Red Demon has poor Shin-man too scared of her. Those two are about as likely to hook up as Kensuke and Ayanami-san. He came up to me last week babbling something about how she'd just run up and hugged him, then run off again. And something about her flashing him earlier, too. Crazy, huh?"

Hikari laughed. "Really? He says Ayanami-san is the Hugging Bandit now? What's next, he's going to tell everyone he's an Eva Pilot too?"

.

The endless air shafts of Central Dogma crawled slowly past as the conveyor belt transported Commander Ikari and Rei across the huge pit. Rei stared blandly at his back with the ease of long practice. Eventually, he broke the silence, but still didn't bother to turn and look at her. "Rei, are things satisfactory?"

Rei pondered the question briefly. It was not uncommon for Commander Ikari to ask her about her condition in general terms. It was something he asked semi-regularly, and Rei had always answered in the affirmative with hardly any thought in the past. She had never felt the need to complain about it before. Indeed, she'd felt very little at all.

But not this time. In the immediate sense, she was fine. She was not hungry, tired, thirsty, or in any other minor physical need. She could feel the nausea, dizziness, headaches, and general malaise that her weaning off the drugs was still plaguing her with, but knew that was not what Commander Ikari was asking about, and very much not what she should tell him, particularly if she wanted to keep going on said weaning, which she still did.

"Yes, sir. Everything is fine."

No, it was not. She had never felt the need to conceal her reaction before. Not from Commander Ikari. But for the first time, Rei was glad she was behind him, and he had not bothered looking her in the face since he had ordered her to fall in after him as he walked.

Things were not fine. She was feeling sick, uncertain, confused, and adrift. She was very, very much missing her friends, and wanted more hugs. A lot more. Her experiment yesterday with her friends had been far more powerful than she'd even been able to articulate to them at the time. Pilot So-... Asuka had seemed to be totally distracted by her disclosure that she was aware of the clandestine relationship between her fellow Pilots, with Shinji little better. They'd separated for the night slightly early, all of them to consider how the evening's revelations.

The conclusions Rei had reached in the solitude of her new apartment was that she had really, really enjoyed the hugs and did not like being alone anymore. The need to be near her friends was like an acute hunger now. When Gendo had summoned her to the depths of the Geofront this time for her regular monthly neural scan and upload, the fact she'd have to spend the next day and a half down here had caused something not unlike a small panic attack. So no, everything was very much _not_ fine.

"I will be with Doctor Akagi tomorrow, and back to school the day after that," she continued.

The quarterly upload-scan of her mind, done to ensure if she was killed in action before the end of the Commander's Scenario that she could be replaced with a new clone with her memories written in to it. She used to mildly enjoy the floating sensation of being in the LCL-filled tube for hours, and getting plenty of attention from the Commander. Now... she had so many questions for him, questions she somehow knew were dangerous to even pose lest they give away her changes.

_'Why have you had Doctor Akagi drugging my so heavily? Why did it take the accidental intervention of someone who hated me as a 'doll' before that changed? Why does the Scenario require the erasure of the happiness of my friends? Is there no other way? I do not want to hurt them.'_

_' Why have you never hugged me? Why did I have to discover what that felt like by myself, with my friends? Why did I live in a hovel? Do you not care?'_

"I see. And how is school?" Gendo continued, unaware of Rei's unusually intent stare.

_'Where I see my friends. Where I learn through my own experiments. Where I wish to be right now.'_

"No problems, sir."

"Very good."

.

"Oh, Ayanami is absent again, as usual? Hmm... Aida too? Noted," their elderly sensei mumbled into the class roll book.

Asuka shook her head in disbelief. They'd noted Rei's absence as soon as they left this morning, unaccompanied by the bluenette for the first time in weeks. Now that Rei had revealed she knew about their relationship, Asuka had been only too happy to have the chance to walk to school holding Shinji's hand again. But it had been odd that Rei hadn't mentioned she'd be gone the night before. And now Aida was out too? Try as she might, the idea of Rei and Kensuke ditching school together to do... who knows what was too strange yet possible for Asuka to dismiss as casually as she would have two months ago. Asuka shot Shinji a look. "You don't suppose..." she whispered to him.

Shinji had a matching look of incredulous confusion. "I... no way. That's just too... hang on." He turned in his seat to look back at Touji a few rows behind him. "Hey, Touji. What's up with Kensuke?"

"New Yokosuka, I think. Following battleships or stuff, as usual. I think he said the 'Myoko' is in port or somethin', and he wanted to go see it."

"Suzuhara!" the sensei barked at the lounging teen.

Touji snapped upright. "S-sir!"

"Take these printouts to Ayanami's house later. Now, Koike-sensei is absent, so Modern Japanese will be self-study..." He droned on as always.

Touji frowned. "'Ey, Shinji, can you take them, since she lives next door to you now?"

"Sure." Shinji met Asuka's look again. If Rei wasn't sneaking off to 'experiment' with Kensuke some more, where was she?

.

Everyone stared at the huge screen built into the floor of the conference area. A direct overhead satellite shot of NERV-02 in Nevada filled the screen, the field of view extending more than a dozen kilometers on either side of the desert compound's perimeter. Lieutenant Ibuki's voice counted down on a precise rhythm. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one... contact."

NERV-02 became a glowing red hotspot, then white, then the display dissolved into static as the flare from the event burned out the satellite's sensor.

Misato touched the cross pendant she wore around her neck. "Terrible. Total losses?"

Maya consulted her clipboard. "Evangelion Unit-04, and all the installations within 89 kilometers perfectly vanished."

"Including several thousand people," Ritsuko added.

Lieutenant Aoba spoke up. "According to the MAGI schedule, this matches up with the installation and test activation of the salvaged S2 Engine repaired in Germany."

"Possible causes of the explosion range from a flaw in the preliminary design to material quality failure to unpredicted high-energy fluctuations in the activation procedure. Total possibilities; 32, 768."

"Sabotage?" Misato asked.

"It wasn't an explosion, it was a vanishing," Lieutenant Hygua pointed out.

"Probably swallowed in a Dirac Sea, just like Unit-02 was," Ritsuko opined.

Misato grimaced. "Then the S2 Engine they just repaired..."

"Vanished, along with our dream of freeing the Evas from their batteries and cables," Ritsuko finished.

Misato looked at the three Lieutenants. "Continue monitoring. I want a full summary report ready by the end of the day. Doctor Akagi, follow me please."

Ristuko fell in behind her, but Misato said nothing further until they were well out of the room and descending one of Central Dogma's seemingly endless escalators. "What are the Americans doing with Unit-03, then?"

"They're sending it to us," Ritsuko said. "The US administration doesn't want to risk losing First Branch in Boston, too."

Misato harrumphed unhappily. "They obstinately insisted on the right to build Units -03 and -04, and now they can't get rid of them fast enough?"

"After a tragedy like that, anyone would get nervous," Ritsuko shrugged.

"Then who do we use for the activation test? The Dummy Plug system?"

Ritsuko shivered. "I'll pick someone."

.

Ritsuko stared at her latest technological achievement and suppressed a shudder. The ten meter long outer casing of the prototype Dummy Plug had not been made blood red by accident, she decided. It was a warning.

"This is the prototype Dummy Plug, Commander. Rei's personality has been replicated in its programming as closely as the MAGI and I could manage, but... the human mind, the human spirit is not truly digitizable. This nothing but a fake, a false copy that imitates the Pilot's thinking. I... have have concerns about how the Evas might act if this is all that is controlling them."

Gendo stared at the prototype as coldly and impassively as he did at everything. "This transmits a signal pattern to the Eva. The Eva considers it like a Pilot is in it and synchronizes with this. As long as the Eva activates, that's all we need." HE gave her the briefest glance. "Install the data on Units-01 and -02."

"This still has a number of problems. The behavior models are too unpredictable..."

"I don't care. As long as the Eva moves, it will be fine."

_'Watch the footage of Unit-02 tearing its way out of Leliel, screaming and covered in blood, howling to Unit-01 and Unit-01 answering, and tell me everything will be fine. Those things scare the Hell out of me, Gendo! And you want to put them on a leash as loose as the Dummy Plugs? Are we __**really**__ in control of the Evas?'_ "Understood, sir."

.

"The UN is handling the transportation of Unit-03. It will arrive this weekend. You will have everything ready for receiving it and the activation test by then?" Commander Ikari said, his eyes forward. He stared fixedly at the LCL-filled tube containing an unclothed Rei Ayanami. Ritsuko again, for what had to be the one thousandth time, tried to tell herself Gendo was staring at the clone, the tool, and not at the naked girl. She knew the jealousy was irrational, and unfitting of a rational woman of science like herself.

"Yes. The final adjustment and activation test will be done at Matsushiro."

"Who is the test Pilot?"

"The Dummy Plug is too dangerous for a test." Ritsuko briefly looked at her notes. "Rei's Synch Rate is up 6% overall, 3% since the last test alone. Shinji is up 4.2%. Asuka is up 4.5%. Given these results, I think we should proceed according to the selection template we discussed last week. The top one out of our present candidate pool under that criteria will be..." she began.

"Selected as the Fourth Child?"

"Yes. There are a couple top candidates whose Cores we can prepare immediately."

Gendo nodded minutely. "I leave the final selection to you. The Fourth is a useful addition, but not critical."

"Understood."

Gendo smiled, a small and odd thing on his perpetually stony face. "Rei, we are done now."

Rei opened her eyes in the tube and smiled faintly back. "Yes."

"Let's go eat."

"Yes."

Neither of them noticed the way Ritsuko's eye narrowed dangerously at the back of Gendo's head.

.

Misato knocked on the doorframe of Ritsuko's office. "I'm here. You were looking for me?"

Ritsuko did not even look up from the computer screen, fingers flying over the keyboard, typing faster than Misato could even read. "Yes. I've cancelled the order requiring Rei spend all her time in the company of the Second and Third Children. I'm concerned she's getting too comfortable with only working as a group. Despite the Synch Rate rises, I don't want her to become so adjusted to the idea of a group action that she can't act independently anymore."

_'Since when have you ever cared about Rei acting independently, Rits? I saw that apartment you stuck her in. What the Hell, woman?'_ Misato forced a chuckle. "You can cancel the order, but I think she'll keep doing it anyhow. She, Shinji, and Asuka have all become pretty close. Well, close for Rei being her usual self, and Shinji and Asuka constantly sniping at each other, anyway."

Ritsuko quietly ground her teeth. She pressed on with more important matters. "We'll be doing the activation test for Unit-03 at the Matsushiro facility on Sunday. You'll be escorting the Pilot, so you'll have to come overnight with the crew and leave your two behind for the evening."

"I suppose I can trust Shinji and Asuka to look after themselves for one night," Misato said.

Ritsuko gave her a droll look. "You are aware Asuka has that contraceptive implant now, yes? You're going to leave a teenage boy and girl along together, their hormones firing at full power? You're amazingly trusting, Major Katsuragi."

Misato snorted. "Those two? They're still butting heads, refusing to admit they like each other. IT's like watching the first half of a romantic comedy. They won't even kiss, much less do anything that requires that implant do its duty."

"Sounds like another couple I remember. Then they spent a week doing nothing _but_ 'admit they like each other', " Ritsuko said with a small smirk.

Misato stuck her tongue out at her. "Fine, I suppose I can ask Kaji to stay over and keep an eye on them. I've been looking for excuses to get him to come over."

Ritsuko eyed her again. "What happened to 'I'm totally done with him and over it!', hmm?"

Misato rolled her eyes. "It's just a bit of flirting and some free drinks on his tab. Watching Shinji and Asuka dance around each other reminded me of the good parts of the old days, too, you know. Plus, watching Kaji try to fend of Asuka's attempts to 'woo' him is hilarious. Hey, if you're not going to need Shinji and Asuka, who's the Pilot for the activation test? Rei?"

"We'll use the Fourth Child as the test Pilot."

Misato blinked and straightened up from the filing cabinet she'd been leaning against. "The... Fourth? The Fourth Child has been found?"

"Yesterday."

Misato raised an eyebrow. "I haven't received any report from the Marduk Institute."

"The official paperwork will arrive tomorrow," Ritsuko continued smoothly.

Misato's eyes narrowed at her friend's casual tone. "Doctor Akagi, are you keeping secrets from me again?"

"No, not at all." Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

Misato visibly decided not to press the issue. "Fine. Who is it?"

Ritsuko clicked a few times on her mouse and pointed at the screen.

Misato blinked. "What? Really? _This_ is the Fourth Child?"

Ritsuko shrugged. "Couldn't be helped. All the candidates were collected in one place and are being protected that way."

"Wait, so... all the kids in their class are potential Pilots?" Misato rubbed at her head. "This is going to be hard to tell the others. Rei will accept whatever we tell her, I guess. Nothing about Evas or NERV matters ever seems to bother her. But Asuka... Shinji... I don't want this to upset them anymore."

Ritsuko coolly went back to her typing. "We need Children like this, in order for us all to survive. They'll deal with it or they won't."

Misato half-glared at her. "Your compassion is heartwarming, Doctor! I'm the one who has to tell them about this!"

.

"Attention: The transformation of the Third Area and the prototype weapons test will begin as scheduled," the PA system announced to the occupants of the vending machine lounge. "Doctor Nishizawa of the 3rd Engineering Section, Doctor Nishizawa, please contact the 2nd Development Section immediately."

Kaji glanced at the speaker in the ceiling and sighed. "The complete armed intercept system is finally finished, and no celebration part is planned? NERV is such a strict and serious place!"

"Because Commander Ikari is a very serious man," Lieutenant Ibuki reminded him.

Kaji gave the slender young tech a cocky smile. "How about you? Do you like to go out for a few drinks and have a party now and then?" She slid up next to her on the bench, getting in quite close.

"Lieutenant Ibuki leaned away and blushed at the attention. "Are you sure you should be asking me that, Kaji-san? I'll tell Major Katsuragi and Akagi-sempai!"

"Not if your mouth is covered..." Kaji winked.

"Taking care of 'business', Inspector?" Misato asked archly, suddenly entering the room.

Lieutenant Ibuki squeaked and leapt off the bench. "I... I have work to do! Excuse me!" she sidled out as quickly as she could, her clipboard held protectively against her chest.

Misato's glare never left Kajis easy smile. "Not to get into your 'affairs', but could you try _not_ seducing everything in a skirt around here while there's a war going on? And weren't you supposed to be taking _me_ out of drinks Thursday night? I don't know if I should let you have the privilege now..."

He stretched lazily and stood up. "Not really your jurisdiction as Director of Operations, is it? That was just checking on MAGI security, really. Why, if someone seduced her, they might end up with sysadmin access to the system." He gave her his best sloppy grin. "And I thought _we_ were going out together. IS it alright if I try seducing you, Katsuragi?"

Misato leaned her back against one of the coffee vending machines and coolly stared at him. "Gonna make you work for it, Kaji. And you're now taking me out. That means you're paying for everything." Her voice got more serious. "And it depends on how you answer my next question: what do you know about secrets like Adam down in Terminal Dogma and the Marduk Institute?"

Kaji casually swept his eyes around the vicinity, making sure they were alone. "Oh? What do I know?"

"Don't play dumb. Tell me."

Kaji faced her, his expression still light, though his voice matched her tone. "It's not your way to ask for help, usually."

"I don't care about 'my way'. I don't have the luxury of staying ignorant. They've oh-so-conveniently found the Fourth Child, right as we are being handed a new Eva. What's going on here?"

"I'll tell you one thing." Kaji abruptly moved in closer, placing one hand on the vending machine next to Misato's head and leaning in like he was going for a kiss. Misato let herself feel a pang of diapointment on that front when he halted inches away, but focused on her mission.

Kaji's expression was entirely serious now. "The Marduk Institute does not exist. It's nothing but NERV pulling the strings in a puppet show."

Misato narrowed her eyes. "Nothing but NERV? Commander Ikari?"

"Code 707. Investigate that."

"707? That... that's the address of Shinji's school!" She leaned forward herself, getting close enough she could feel his breath on her lips. "You are going to tell me a whole lot more Thursday night, Inspector..."

Kaji let his smile return. Misato had been letting him closer again, but this was a new step... "Oh dear. Are you going to force me to give up all my secrets, Katsuragi? Use your wiles on me until I'm putty in your hands?"

"In my hands, nothing turns to putty," Misato replied levelly. Her control almost cracked as she watched Kaji's eyebrows rise, intrigued. He leaned in...

"Misato-san? Are you in here?" Shinji asked, coming around the corner from the back hallway, Asuka right behind him.

"Ahem. Yes, what is it, Shinji-kun?"Misato asked from her seat on the bench. Kaji calmly took a long drink from his can of tea as he leaned against a vending machine a couple of meters away from Misato.

"Ritsuko-san was looking for you. She said you're supposed to be at the meeting for tomorrow's business trip?"

"Right, thank you." Misato gave Kaji a look that said they'd continue all of this later. "See you later, Inspector."

He gave her a barely perceptible nod. "Roger, roger."

Misato left without another look. Kaji put another easy smile on his face and looked at the two young Pilots. They way they stood together... His gaze focused. They were standing _together_. Their body language was totally different towards each other. They were moving in synch, like they were totally aware of each other's presence and moves without even looking. _'Looks like that synchronization training sure left a mark. But I wonder... Asuka's not all over me like usual. Let's test the waters.'_ "How about you, Shinji-kun? Want to go out with me for a cup of tea?"

Asuka gave him a shocked and amused look before exploding into laughter. Shinji gave him a flat look at the well-worn pickup line. "I'm a _boy_, Kaji-san." His eyes flickered to his side for an instant and a faint smile crossed his face. "And I prefer coffee."

Kaji laughed, but filed the reaction away for later consideration. "What are you two doing here together? Are you so fond of his company now, Asuka? Or did that synchronization training have more of an effect on you than I heard?"

Asuka stopped laughing and glared at Shinji for a moment before returning a bright-eyed and winsome look to him. "Not at all, Kaji-san! I'm not here because I like watching baka-Shinji wander around NERV headquarters. I'm only here because of official duties as an Eva Pilot! Wondergirl didn't come to class today or yesterday, and we're supposed to all be together as part of that team-building thing Doctor Akagi ordered. There's a Synch Test later, and we came in early to look for her ahead of it."

"And then he asks me out to tea," Shinji muttered, still looking a bit put out. "When I'm right here with... I mean, I thought you were a more serious adult, Kaji-san."

"My my, you sure don't hold back once you've gotten to know someone, do you, Shinji-kun?"

"Sorry," Shinji mumbled. Asuka lightly smacked the back of his head. "Hey!"

Asuka met his glare with one of her own. I'm supposed to remind you not to apologize for everything, remember?"

Kaji chuckled again. "I'm not upset, Shinji. I didn't mean to sound sarcastic. And since you've been so honest with me, I'll be honest with you. Let me show you both something nice." He walked towards the hallway Shinji had come down, gesturing for them to follow.

Shinji and Asuka looked at each other, shrugged in unison, and followed him.

.

"Kaji-san~! Why didn't you ever tell me you were a gardener? We could have been planting and growing things together in Germany!" Asuka whined as cutely as she could.

The tall inspector grinned, waving the watering can he held back and forth over the row of plants. "Don't you think it's cute? This is my hobby. Keep it a secret. It's my little escape. Making or growing something, raising it, is a wonderful thing. We see and learn many things through that, like what we enjoy."\

Shinji stood up from his examination of the watermelon vine at his feet. He looked around, slightly amazed that Kaji had somehow planted an entire garden plot next to this secluded small cabin, tucked away in a corner of the Geofront. "Does Misato-san know about this place, Kaji-san?"

Kaji shook his head. "No, it's still my little secret. I might bring her here for a romantic little picnic sometime soon, though. Doesn't that sound like a nice idea, Shinji-kun?"

A look something like wistfulness passed across Shinji's face. "Yes, it does." His expression clouded a bit. "It's... sad when you want to do something like that, but can't. Not being able to do something you'd like."

"Oh?" Kaji raised an eyebrow. "Have you found something you like, but can't have?"

"Not exactly," Shinji said.

"What about you, Asuka-chan? Have you found something that makes you happy?"

The redhead had studiously kept her back to them so far. She turned her head enough to give the boys a sparkling smile over her shoulder. "Oh, any time I get to spend with my darling Kaij-san is a pleasure!"

"You should bring Misat-san here and show her what you've been doing, Kaji-san," Shinji said unexpectedly. Kaji gave him a curious look. "You should never miss a chance to do something together with someone you care about. Missed chances like that are things you can never get back."

Kaji's eyebrows went higher. "Wise words from someone so young. Been on your mind, Shinji-kun?"

Shinji shrugged, digging his foot in the dirt. "I want Misato-san to be happy too. She's been very kind to me ever since I moved here, more than almost anyone else. And she talks about you, so..."

_'Does she now? That's heartening.'_ Kaji's cell phone rang in his pocket before he could reply. He plucked it out and looked at the caller ID. "Speak of the beautiful devil, and she will call." He hit the accept call button. "Hello!"

"I left the Pilots with you, Kaji. Where did you put them?" Misato's voice asked.

"I've got them right here with me."

"Well, shuffle them up to the test area. Their Synch Test starts as soon as they get here."

"Roger, I'll have them on the way in a moment." He hung up and looked at the Pilots. "Time to test, Children."

Asuka shot a smug look at Shinji. "Time for me to beat your score once again, Third Child."

Shinji smirked right back at her. "_Sure_ you will, Second Child. Bring it on."

_'Well, at least Shinji's acting a bit more confident. Looks like having Asuka as a rival is good for him.'_ "Let's go, then." Kaji placed the watering can by the cabin and led the way back towards the NERV pyramid.

.

The test observation room was warm and humid as always. Misato plucked at her shirt, trying to fan cooler air into her sweaty skin. "This is supposed to be the most technologically advanced facility in the world. Can't we get decent air conditioning in here?"

Ritsuko tapped a few more commands into the console next to Lieutenant Ibuki, briefly resting her hand on her assistant's shoulder in approval of the smooth way she integrated the changed settings into the test records. "There's 800 million liters of LCL on the other side of that glass at 37C, Misato. You're not beating that kind of heat imbalance. And we have more important things to do than worry about making you comfy."

"Plug depth fixed at 3.2. LCL concentration nominal. Harmonics level is minus 1.2, 1.5, 1.6, 1.8... Present reading is 0.2. Level 3 data deleted, all others saved to Melchior," Maya recited without pause, though a smile worked its way onto her face at her sempai's approval.

Ritsuko pointed at the screen showing the three Children and their Synch Rates. "Look at this. All three of them up again. Shinji's caught up to Asuka again. Rei's gains have slowed since last month, but she's still up over 7.2% since we ordered the Children to work together. "

"So why are you lifting that order?" Misato asked.

Ritsuko kept her face calm. "I believe we are reaching the limits of what we can expect from that approach. All three of them have shown impressive gains over the last two months, but the rate of increase has slowed."

Misato cocked her head. Ritsuko was acting a little odd about it, too stiff. "It's still increasing pretty much every Test, though."

"Not Rei's. Her results have been an increase overall, yes, but the Test-to-Test readings are erratic. Less so lately, but six weeks ago she was up 8% one Test, down 7% the next, and so on. I want to change the approach now, and see if we get different results."

Misato shrugged. "Fine, you're the supposed scientific genius. They get along well enough I think they'll still hang out anyway." Misato's expression grew pensive. "It's not making it any easier to tell them about the Fourth Child. I don't want this news to disrupt things when they're going so well. This is their friend! How are they going to take it?"

Ritsuko shrugged this time. "They're going to send the official notification tomorrow, and the activation test cycle begins this weekend. One way or the other, they're going to learn soon."

Misato looked at the monitor again. Rei's expression was as blank as ever, but both Shinji and Asuka wore faint smiles. _'They look happy, Rits. How can I drop something like this on them and not have it bring them down?' _Her face tightened. _'And just how long were you going to keep it from me that all their classmates are high-level Pilot candidates? From what Kaji's lead showed me, that's not an accident. Why would NERV hide that? "For their protection" sounds fake. Section 2 isn't even watching the students outside of the school itself, and they're only doing even that much because our __**active**__ Pilots are there. Why the gigantic fa__ç__ade of the Marduk Institute? If the Marduk Institute isn't searching for the Pilots on some criteria, who __**does **__select the Pilots? The Second and Third Children just 'happening' to be the children of two of the designers is way too coincidental to have happened naturally. I know you're lying to me, Rits, and that tells me you know more than you're saying. There's just Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki and Commander Ikari above you, so you've __**got**__ to know things... And don't give me that 'need to know' bullshit. I'm the 4th ranking officer of NERV. What possible reason is there to conceal this kind of stuff from me? _

Misato shook her head slightly. _'Who am I even talking to anymore? My old college friend I used to get hammered with, or the Director of Project E who never told me about the Angel she's keeping in the basement?'_

_._

Shinji spotted Kensuke sitting against the fence ringing the roof of the school as he stepped out onto the roof himself. He waved. "Hey, Kensuke! How was your trip to New Yokosuka?"

The spectacled teen waved back and hoisted his camera. "Absolutely great! I got some sweet shots of the new JMSSDF cruiser!" He looked around behind Shinji as his friend took a seat next to him and began to set out his lunch and a pair of others. "Hey, where are your two shadows? I haven't seen you without the Red Demon and Ayanami-san in tow for weeks."

Shinji smiled a little. "We aren't under orders to stick together at all times anymore. Rei and Asuka are downstairs trying to round up Touji and the Class Rep for lunch. I got sent up here ahead to grab us a nice spot and get things ready. Those two have been absent from class all morning. Any idea why?"

Kensuke shook his head. "Maybe he and the Class Rep decided to skip school together and elope?" he asked, only half joking. He'd never stopped moaning over how lovey-dovey the pair acted.

Shinji laughed. "Sure, that sounds likely. Next we'll hear Rei is going to headline the next school talent show with a cabaret act."

Kensuke looked nervous. "Um... actually, Shinji..."

"What?"

Checking if her underwear was attractive. Hugging. Holding his hand. And a few days ago, dragging him into an unused classroom for five minutes of 'cuddling baselines'.

Shinji stared at his friend. "Wut."

"I'm not joking!" Kensuke exclaimed. "And... and... and... I have _no freaking idea_ what's going on! She never explains anything! She just 'requests my assistance in another experiment'! What is she doing? Are we... dating? Friends with 'experimental' benefits?" He looked at Shinji in utter confusion.

"I... I honestly have no idea, Kensuke. We may have been spending a lot of time with her in the last two months, but she is still as mysterious to me as how to build an Eva Unit."

Kensuke's eyes lit up at the mention. "Oh yeah! I heard a rumor about that I wanted to ask you about! Eva Unit-03!"

Shinji blinked at the abrupt swerve in the conversation, but his friend was obviously more comfortable talking about military hardware than the beautiful yet confusing Pilot Ayanami. "Eva Unit-03?"

"That's right! The Eva Unit that was under construction in the United States is now completed, and they're shipping it here to Japan!"

"I haven't heard anything like that. Anything at all, really."

Kensuke inched closer, his eyes shining. "I know you've got to keep it secret, but please tell me! Didn't you know the rumor that the activation test will be held at NERV-2 in Matsushiro?"

"Nope."

"You haven't heard that they haven't named a Pilot for it yet?"

"Kensuke, they never tell me anything. It's not like Misato-san spends her off-duty hours telling me all of NERV's inner plans."

Kensuke's eyes went far away. "She could let me Pilot it! Shinji, could you ask her for me? I really want to be an Eva Pilot!"

Shinji frowned. "You really don't. It's not what you seem to think."

"Hey, did you hear that Unit-04 was lost?"

Shinji suddenly felt his apprehension increase. "What?!"

"You didn't know that either? NERV-02 in the US was blown up. My dad's section was in an uproar over it. That's why they're shipping Unit-03 here, because of that explosion."

"Misato-san never mentioned it."

Kensuke deflated. "Well, I guess the Pilot is just the guy at the bottom of the chain, even in NERV. I guess they think you don't have 'need to know'. Sorry for asking so many questions."

His head jerked up and he gestured with his chin. "Hey, look out behind you..."

Shinji turned to look. Tanaka and a couple of the other girls who were still eyeing him in class had emerged onto the roof for their own lunches, and spotted him and Kensuke. Their gazes noticeably sharpened as they noted the absence of any of the usual protective screen of girls who had guarded Shinji from them for the last several weeks. "Uh oh... I hope Asuka and Rei get back here soon with the Class Rep and Touji..."

Kensuke looked at his watch. "Yeah, where _is_ Touji? What's keeping him?"

.

"Seen them yet?"

"No, Asuka, I have not. Otherwise, I would have informed you." Rei's voice lacked even the smallest hint of sarcasm any other teen would have included.

Asuka shook her head. Teaching Rei to act normal was still a work in progress. Still, just the fact that she didn't mind walking around with her, searching for Hikari and her boy-Stooge was a sea change from when she'd first arrived. Rei had gone from a 'stuck-up, irritating, and unsettling rival' to a peer, someone Asuka could honestly call a friend.

Case in point now: she felt almost comfortable being away from Shinji and searching empty classrooms with her, doing her best as they went to keep Rei talking and even making attempts at banter. While still quiet, Rei was worlds better than the near-robotic doll she'd begun the autumn as. A subtle humor was even beginning to sneak into her remarks now and then.

Asuka opened another classroom door. "Ah ha! Rei! Found 'em! Hikari, aren't you and Jock-Stooge going to join us for... what's wrong?"

Hikari and Touji were sitting facing each other in the emptied classroom. Though they'd both looked up to note Asuka's entrance, they'd immediately returned to glumly looking at each other in silence.

Asuka walked over to stand right next to them. "What's wrong?" she repeated, a little more insistently.

Touji looked up at her, his mouth working...


	12. Ch 11 - The Storm Breaks Pt 2

Asuka pounded up the stairs to the school's roof. This was important. Shinji needed to hear about this right away, and they needed to figure out their public response while still thinking carefully on their even more important true private one. She pushed the door to the roof open, and was greeted by a scene out of her nightmares.

Her beloved baka was under siege by at least half a dozen of the usual Harpies, led by that bitch Tanaka. Shinji sat nervously with his back to the fence, surrounded by pretty young girls. Geek-Stooge sat next to him, staring just as nervously at the surrounding ring of girls. Luckily for him, they were ignoring him in favor of staring hungrily at Shinji. Shinji had less than a meter of space around him. Tanaka herself was leaning way into Shinji's personal space, reaching a hand out to _touch his face oh no we are __**not**__ having that!_

Asuka quickly walked up and coughed as loudly as she could. "A-_hem! _So _sorry_ to interrupt, 'ladies', but Pilot Ikari needs to come with me immediately. NERV business." She switched her glare to Shinji. "Pilots' conference downstairs, right now."

Shinji looked at her with gratifying, naked relief. It turned to confusion as he processed her words. "Pilots' conference?" He looked from her to Rei, standing right behind her. "But... we're all right here?"

Asuka shook her head slowly. "No... we're not."

Shinji's eyes widened.

..

Kensuke Aida knew his friend was a Pilot. He'd seen him in action up close. He considered him a brave guy for walking into battle after battle, even as he knew Shinji didn't think of himself that way. And as brave as he could be in combat, Shinji was still a pretty shy guy in most social situations.

Or at least, he had been. That had been changing over the last two months. Kensuke had watched his buddy become more assured, less afraid of social situations, and just plain standing and talking with more confidence in everyday things. He'd seemingly grown an inch or two just because he no longer stooped and slumped so much. The girls of their class had certainly noticed, regarding this new, more confident Shinji with much more attention and flirtation. Shinji had gotten much better at polite, firm rejection of their advances, but those very self-assured and manly deflections seemed to only make him an even more desirable target. The fact school rumor persisted in whispering that Shinji was somehow simultaneously seducing both Rei Ayanami and Asuka Langley Soryu, two of the hottest girls in school, just drove wild speculation as to Shinji's talents as a boyfriend. Asuka and Rei's relentless screening of Shinji from their efforts to get closer and constant companionship only fuels the rumors further.

So when the group of girls had sighted him and Shinji sitting alone on the roof, they'd descended on them like a pack of wolves. Very quickly, Kensuke had found himself at the eye of the storm with Shinji, as the girls crowded in close, asking Shinji what being a Pilot was like, if he was busy that weekend, and would he like to go to the park with them? Even the edges of their attention intimidated the Hell out of Kensuke. Shinji bore it somehow, never losing his polite, modest, and self-effacing manner, but Kensuke could see his friend beginning to sweat as Tanaka and the others pressed in.

Kensuke had never been so glad to see the Red Demon appear as he was right then. She effortlessly parted the crowd, making them step aside by sheer force of personality. Even Tanaka had flinched when Asuka fixed her glare on her. The spectacle had impressed Kensuke so much he'd almost missed what she'd said. _'There's... another Pilot? Here? They've found a fourth Pilot?'_ A pang of dismay ran through him. _'And it's not me. Damn it...'_

The transformation that ran over Shinji was even more impressive. The confusion and remaining nervousness fell away, and Shinji's face went stoically calm. His shoulders went back and he stood up. "I see," he said evenly. "Alright, let's go." He rapidly packed up the still waiting lunches and headed for the door to the stairs. Kensuke could hear the crowd of girls murmur in appreciation as he spke and sigh in disappointment as he left.

Asuka hung behind to give Tanaka and the other girls a death glare, which they returned. "You and Ayanami-san can't hog him all to yourselves forever, Soryu-san," one muttered. Asuka just gave her a smirk and whirled to follow Shinji.

Rei lingered a moment longer herself. "Classmate Aida-san."

Kensuke's heart rate jumped. He knew that specific tone from Ayanami by now. "Um... yes?"

"I would like to request your hands-on assistance in further experiments. I need something I can only get from you. I would like it this afternoon if our schedules permit," she said in her cool, clear voice that made him want to vibrate in sympathy.

"Um... sure? I'm always glad to... help..." He trailed off as he became aware that at least half the girls in the crowd had broken off glaring at Asuka's retreating back to stare at him in amazement.

Amazement that swiftly mutated into open speculation. Whispers started to buzz across the crowd. "'Hands-on' 'experiments'? Oh, I know what _that_ means..." "Ayanami is already getting it from Ikari-san, but _Aida_ has 'something she can only get from him'?! Whoa..." "Holy shit, how good must _he_ be?" "...he doesn't have a wall of 'guards', either..."

Rei gave no sign she heard the whispering, though she must have if he could hear it. "Thank you, Aida-san. I look forward to it eagerly. Out experiments have always been most enlightening and... very pleasant. I will see you later today. Goodbye." She turned and left, her posture and gait as graceful and precise as a dancer's.

The slamming of the door was like a signal. All the girls in the crowd turned to look at him. Some of them looked _very interested_... Kensuke swallowed. _'Uh oh...'_

..

Shinji opened the classroom door and froze when he saw his friend and Hikari. "Oh... no..." he said walked over to the desk next to them and collapsed into it, Asuka and Rei filtering in behind him. "T... Touji... what did they say? Did... did they offer you something? You don't have to do take their deals. You know what this job is like to me..."

Touji looked back at him like someone had shot his dog. He licked his lips and tried to answer. "It... I didn't..." He took a breath and let it out. "It's not me," he finally managed, sounding like he was pronouncing a death sentence.

Shinji blinked. "What? Then who..."

"It's me."

Shinji's head snapped around to Hikari. She was staring fixedly at her tightly grasped hands. She slowly raised her eyes to meet his. "They told me I am the Fourth Child. They need me to be a Pilot. They told me they'd take care of my family, and even make sure that Touji's little sister gets moved to a NERV hospital so she can get the best treatment. I asked for that." She laughed weakly. "That woman, Doctor Akagi, seemed ready to offer anything to get me to say yes, so I grabbed what I could think of. None of us will have to pay for college either..."

Touji's hand came down to grasp hers. He squeezed lightly. "Thank you, Hikari."

Hikari gave him a faint smile, but it rapidly vanished. "I... I have to go to Matushiro with Doctor Akagi and Major Katsuragi tomorrow, to start familiarization with the new Eva Unit. It's supposed to take all weekend and then some. Touji and I... we had a date this weekend... Now we're not going to make it."

Shinji tried to swallow back the bile that wanted to rise. This was one of his friends... NERV shouldn't do this to them... "Class Rep, you... you don't have to do this..." he began.

Hikari shook her head. "You do it. And Asuka. So does Ayanami-san, even when she was hurt. And... and if I say 'no', they might just ask someone else, make someone else take this on because I was afraid..."

"Let me!" Touji burst out. "Hikari, please! I don't... if you got hurt..."

Hikari gave him a sad smile. She reached up to stroke his face. "That's one reason I love you, Touji. Your compassion... And I know you'd do everything to protect me... but we don't even know if you _can_ Pilot an Eva. They told me I was one in a billion, that there's only four Children they've identified who can be Pilots in the whole world... And we're all in this room."

Shinji looked back over his shoulder at Asuka. She pressed her lips together and gave him a look that said she had things she wanted to talk to him about she couldn't say in public. But Shinji could feel some of it already. _'Only four of us in the world... and the next Child happens to be someone we know personally? In our own class? One-in-a-billion odds and it hits right next to us?'_ He almost wanted to ask Hikari about her mother, but it wasn't the time.

"So I can't say no, Touji. I have to do this. I'll be protecting both of our families, and I've got Asika, Ikari-kun, and Ayanami-san to help support me. I'm sure I'll be okay."

"As we are to fight together as comrades in battle, please call me 'Rei', Class Representative Horaki," Rei said softly from behind Shinji.

He blinked in shock. So did the others. He turned to look at her. "Rei?"

The First Child looked back at him calmly. "Yes?"

"Are... you sure you understand what you are doing?"

"Yes."

Shinji looked at Asuka. She twisted her lips and shrugged in matching confusion. He looked back at Rei. "Alright, fair enough." He turned back to Hikari and rubbed the side of his face. "Well... I guess it will be good to have more friends to count on in a fight. Welcome to the team, Horaki-san..."

..

The reflected afternoon light only managed to dimly light the crypt-like office of Commander Ikari, despite the titanic array of mirrors funneling the light down into the Geofront. The tinted windows turned what light did enter blood red, highlighting the System Sepirothicum engraved into the floor anc ceiling. Doctor Akagi could barely make out the glowing circles of the Commander's glasses as he impassively to her report.

"The Fourth Child candidate has accepted out offer. She asked only for some minor things for her and her boyfriend's family. We've already taken care of it. She'll be picked up by Major Katsuragi in a few hours and on her way to Matsushiro shortly thereafter," she said crisply.

"You are certain of your selection of Miss Horaki as the Fourth Child, Doctor?" Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki asked. "Why did we change from the previous candidate?"

"Both the First and Second Child have had sharper raises in their Synch Rates over the last two months than the Third Child. He is still matching the Second's high scores, but the greater total rise for the First and Second led me to determine the next Pilot should be a female. Additionally, while she scores well on willpower and intelligence, the Fourth Child is more responsive to authority and hierarchy than the previous candidate. I believe this will give us better leverage over her than him."

"Very well," said Commander Ikari. "The Fourth Child will be adequate for our plans. The Un has informed us that Unit-03 is en route and will arrive within 24 hours. Have everything at Mastushiro ready to receive it."

"Yes, sir."

"Dismissed."

..

"Whoa!" The co-pilot ran his eyes over the aircraft's status screens. They were still flickering from the lightning strike. "That was one Hell of a jolt! I told you we should have flown around this stormcloud!"

"Relax, this bird is hardened against bigger hits than that," the pilot drawled. "See? The systems are already stabilizing from the reset. Check on our special cargo."

The co-pilot tapped at the touchscreen and brought up the indicators for the Evangelion Unit that was their payload. "The... the status readouts are all over the map... that's weird..."

"Just give it a second. It'll stabilize like our systems. Probably taking a little longer because it's a newer technology. See? It's settling down."

The indicators stopped their dance and settled back down into the green. "Guess so," said the co=pilot. "Still think we should have flown around. For a second I thought that lightning bolt had our name on it."

"Chill out," the pilot shot back. "It's not like it did anything."

In the cargo bay, the eyes of Evangelion Unit-03 faded back to dead black.

..

Shinji wistfully glanced at the tight handclasp Touji and Hikari maintained all the way to the school gate as they began to leave school for the day. He looked sideways at Asuka. She was doing the same thing. He caught her eye and gave her a brief, sad smile. She replied with a tiny nod. She wished they could do that in public as much as he did. They resumed their usual public faces before Touji turned around as they reached the gate.

Touji gave Shinji a wry look, glancing at Asuka too. "What, no 'marital quarrel' today? You've been pretty quiet."

Asuka rolled her eyes at him. "You're our friends and need our support right now, and this is serious NERV business. Shinji and I are more than mature enough to stop fussing and focus when it's important."

Behind them, Rei quietly said, "Mature? As soon as no one's looking they're constantly making out, really. They're like bonobos on Spring Break. Nothing but 'whumpa, whumpa, whumpa' all the time." There was no change in her usual perfectly deadpan tone.

Shinji and Asuka froze. _'Oh Holy shit! Rei, what happened to keeping that secret?!' _Shinji thought frantically. Touji and Hikari gaped in shock for a moment before exploding into laughter.

Rei gave one of her tiny smiles. "Just kidding," she said, still totally flat.

Shinji resumed breathing. "Rei, what are you doing?"

Rei gave him an innocent look. "Helping break the tension with humor?"

Touji and Hikari exchanged a nervous look, lightly blushing. "Umm..." Hikari began, "We're going to head home alone together. It'll be our last chance to talk for a while, and we'll only have a few hours before Major Katsuragi picks me up. We wanted to make up for the date we're going to miss this weekend."

Asuka smiled. "I understand. Have a good time."

Rei added, "Be sure to use protection."

It was Touji and Hikari's turn to freeze and blush, and Shinji and Asuka's to laugh after a second of shock.

"Just kidding," Rei repeated, her face inscrutable.

Touji and Hikari laughed nervously and headed off, still tightly holding hands.

Asuka whirled on the bluenette. "Rei, what the Hell was that? What are you doing?"

Rei was not disturbed at all. "I am helping, and teasing my friends. It is fun," she said, her voice as cool as ever.

Shinji chuckled nervously. "I... you're getting good at that, Rei."

"Thank you." She looked at them, a faint expression of thought on her face. "I like seeing my friends happy. It makes me happy to see it, and so I wish to help. Observing Hikari and Suzuhara-san is somewhat like observing you both. I remain... deeply envious of your bond, and care for you both. I wish I had something similar. It would ease the lonliness."

_'She's... lonely? She's always with us, but.. I know what she means,'_ Shinji though. _'I know just how alone you can feel even in the midle of a crowd.'_ "What about Kensuke?"

Rei shook her head. "Classmate Aida-san is... not for me. He has been a good friend and I have learned much from our experiments, but I do not experience similar feelings with him as I see between you both or between Hikari and Suzuhara-san. But I still desire to see him happy as well, so I have devised a plan to help him." She turned towards the school gate, angling west.

Asuka stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. "Wait, aren't you walking home with us?"

Rei shook her head again. "The next step of my plan involves Aida-san taking me out on a public date this afternoon. This will provide me with valuable data on the subject of dating, and being seen taking me out will increase his stature with the females of our class. I believe I have already successfully exploited existing school rumors on our supposed ongoing ménage a trois and Shinji's talents as a lover to increase interest in Aida-san. As I have planned a lengthy and detailed experimental protocol for this afternoon, I estimate I will be out late. I shall see you tomorrow." Rei gave them a short bow and left.

Shinji and Asuka exchanged a confused look as they walked out of the school grounds. Asuka spoke first. "Did... did that just happen?'

"I... think so? Rei made _dirty _jokes, told them the truth about us in a way that ensured they wouldn't believe it, and now... she's taking Kensuke out on a _date_? To make sure he's attractive to the _other_ girls?" Shinji replied in bemusement.

"This is unreal. Rei Ayanami, social ninja. On the upside, Hikari and Jock Stooge taking off means you and I can walk home the way we prefer," Asuka said a bit more happily. She eagerly seized his hand as soon as they were out of sight of the school and their classmates.

"Hikari is the Fourth Child... Who could have seen that coming?" Asuka mused. "I don't like dragging a friend into danger with us, but I'm happy our next wingman will be someone I know and trust. And hey, if Misato is taking her to Matsushiro tonight, maybe we'll have a few days to ourselves in the apartment this weekend?" She gave Shinji a wicked grin. "I can think of a few ways to occupy our time."

Shinji smiled back, but then frowned thoughtfully. "I don't think we'll be that lucky. Misato-san is easygoing, but she takes her duties as our guardian fairly seriously. She'll probably have someone watching us for her, not just leave us alone. Maybe Kaji-san."

Asuka gave a short laugh. "Heh... Two months ago the idea of having Kaji-san as a babysitter would have made my day. I'd have been having all sorts of fantasies of seducing him or something, like I tried on the _Over The Rainbow_. "

Shinji tried to smile, but failed. Asuka's confession of that episode had been more than a bit embarrassing for her, but her follow-on admission of how much Kaji's rejection of it had bit had been nothing but a source of empathy for Shinji. He knew Asuka more than well enough by then to really grasp how much she'd wanted the attention and love she thought she could get by seducing Kaji, and how badly it had hurt when he'd shut her down. Shinji's explanation that he understood exactly why she'd wanted to do that and quiet yet fervent reassurance that he'd never stop wanting her had been a moment that really brought them closer... yet SHinji was still fighting with his worries about having Asuka's former lust-crush around. Not that he thought Asuka wouldn't want or love him anymore, but that he looked at the tall, confidant older man and just felt so little and lesser in comparison.

Asuka too knew him well enough to read all that from his face and silence. She lightly punched him in the shoulder with her free hand. "Hey, baka! None of that! You're the one I'm in love with, remember? Kaji's a tall, tasty hunk of man, yeah, but he's not the one whose name I say at night. You're mine and I'm yours. I will admit that having both him and you running around the apartment but us having to pretend we're not together is just going to leave me frustrated as Hell from all the yummy testosterone floating about, but I'm not about to leave you for him. Ever."

This time Shinji did smile. "I know... I just feel so small and inadequate next to somebody as confidant and adult as him. I'm still amazed every day that I somehow managed to end up with someone as beautiful and amazing as you liking me."

"I _don't_ 'like' you, baka. I _love_ you. The constant sleeping together for the last two months isn't a hint? The fact you and I are closer to each other than to anyone else we've ever had in our whole lives? So you're not as tall as Kaji-san? So what? Look at your dad: he may be a manipulative jerk as a person, but he's certainly tall and broad shouldered. You're going to have something like that one day. Mmm... now _that's_ a yummy image. Tall, hunky Shinji, all mine... Unf! Yeah, I'm keeping you." She pecked him on the cheek.

Shinji blushed lightly. "I guess so. I... I wish I knew what my mother looked like. I hate that my father destroyed every picture he had of her. Do... do you have any of your mother?"

Asuka's face went serious. Her mother was still a tender topic, though Shinji also knew she'd revealed more to him about her than anyone else alive. "I do. Only a few pictures, but I'll show them to you. They're... important to me, yeah. Mama... had the most beautiful smile..." She forced a smile back onto her face. "Eager to see what I'll look like when I'm older, hmm? Now, how are we going to keep up the show at home tonight? I was thinking I'd sprawl all over the living room floor and loudly ignore you, like you'd said something that made me mad at school..."

..

Misato was just inside the door when they got home. The suitcase at her feet made it clear she was only holding her departure so she could see them for a moment before heading off. She still gave them a broad smile. "Welcome home! I've got to go on a short trip for the next four days, but I've arranged for Kaji to watch over you. He'll be here in a few hours."

Shinji gave Asuka a 'told you so' look. She stuck her tongue out at him. He turned back to Misato. "You're going to pick up Horaki-san and take her to Matsushiro for the activation test of Eva Unit-03, aren't you?"

Misato blinked in surprise for a moment before nodding. "Ah, she told you at school? That's fine. Yes, I'm going to collect her, take her to NERV HQ to get her registered into the system as an Evangelion Pilot, and then we're going to Matsushiro. We'll move Unit-03 here once we're done with the tests."

Shinji hesitated. "Misato-san... what about the rumor that Unit-04 was lost? I heard there was an accident and Unit-4 was blown up?"

Misato pressed her lips together and nodded again. "Yes, something went wrong at NERV-02 in America during the test of the S2 Engine. It destroyed the whole base. But we'll be fine here. All of our Eva Units are in perfect working order, and we've got the best staff and Pilots in the world. That's why they're shipping it here, of course."

"There's no point in worrying about it, baka-Shinji," Asuka said from behind him. She shot a sly look at Misato. "Sooo~... when exactly does my darling Kaji-san get here?"

Misato rolled her eyes. "He's working at NERV HQ right now too. He should get here by six. Behave yourselves until then," she ordered sternly. "No abusing Shin-chan, and do all of your homework."

Asuka waved away Misato's orders as she pushed Shinji in the door ahead of her and down the hall to the dining area. "Oh, don't be such a worry-wart. I haven't killed him yet, have I? And if anything ever happened to baka-Shinji, I'd be stuck eating _your_ cooking! That's just unacceptable!" Asuka shot one last glance over her shoulder as they reached the end of the hall. "Take care of Hikari, Misato. She's my friend."

Misato picked up her bag and waved. "She'll be fine. This is just an activation test. Ritsuko and I will be right there. And she'll be in the Entry Plug of an Eva. You know how well protected those are. It'd take another Eva to get through all that armor! I'll look out for her." Misato waved once more, and was gone.

Asuka let her fake glower at Shinji evaporate once she heard the door close. "Yeah, but I also know what we fight, Misato." She sighed, and converted her shove of Shinji into a close hug. "Mmm... alright, Shinji, we've got three hours to ourselves before Kaji-san shows. Let's make the most of it."

He put on an innocent look. "Ok, so, I'll get started on dinner while you study?"

She pinched his nose. "Very funny, Third Child. I'm sending you straight to my room for that."

"Shouldn't it be 'sent to _your_ room'?"

She grabbed his hand and pulled him along behind her with a smile. "To _my_ room? How forward, Mister Ikari! What an excellent idea! Let's go!"

..

Asuka rolled over again and tried to make herself sleep. She got about as far as she had for the last two hours.

They'd put on a decent show of snapping at and ignoring each other for the evening. Kaji had marveled at it, asking if they were like this all the time, or just when Misato was not there. He'd suggested they all go to bed earlier than usual, just to end the bickering. But bed had not been the road to peace for them he'd hoped.

Her bed felt _cold_, and suddenly far too big and empty. There was no slow and steady breathing beside her in the dark to remind her she wasn't alone anymore, no comforting arm around her to let her know she was loved. She hated it.

"Come on, Soryu. You've done this ten thousand times. How hard is sleeping by yourself?" she whispered to herself.

_'And you had to fight the same fears every night, that you'd live alone your whole life because no one could ever really want you. And now you've found that One, the One who makes your world right, and he's not next to you tonight, where he should be. You know why you can't sleep. You want him with you, every day and every night. A night without him makes you think about what it's like to be alone again, and worry that one day he might not be there again.'_

She sighed, and crumpled her pillow into a new position. That worry _had_ been gnawing at her ever since Shinji had asked where they were going. _Did_ they have a future together? What did she want from all this?

_'The problem is you __**know**__ what the answer to that question is, Soryu. You want his life, all of it. You want him next to you 'until the end of the world', just like you've both promised. But you're damn well aware that you're both barely teenagers, and that thinking about what he'll look like when he's older, rings, and __**kids**__ is fucking crazy at this point. And you're doubly scared that he'll freak out if he learns that you're thinking about it anyway.'_

"And none of that stops me from wanting it. A life, a family, year after year of love... Gott, I'm crazy. And nothing stops me from constantly being afraid that one day he'll decide he can do better than me, and sleeping alone feels too much like a preview." She reached out a hand to touch the side of the bed where he usually lay. "I can't even sneak into his futon, not when Kaji's two meters away. Three more nights of this..."

_'Get back here soon, Shinji. My world doesn't feel cold or lonely or scary or lost when you're here beside me. I need you.'_

..

Shinji tossed and turned. Sleep just wouldn't come. This was even more difficult than he'd expected. He hadn't had to fall asleep without Asuka's soothing warmth next to him in weeks. He hadn't realized how comforting it was to be able to feel her next to him as he drifted off. He felt... like he just couldn't relax without her there. That nothing was right without her near him. _'Is this what my father feels like? Alone all the time? He abandoned me, so is that how he __**wants**__ to be? Why did he do that to me?'_

He sighed. His father... If he was stuck awake, he might as well make use of it. "Are you still awake, Kaji-san?'

The inspector shifted on his futon nearby. "Yes. What is it, Shinji-kun?"

"...what kind of man is my father?"

"Oh? That question is a bit of a surprise. I thought you'd ask about Katsuragi."

"You seem like you spend a lot of time with him."

Kaji chuckled. "Not me. The Sub-Commander is the one with him all the time. Are you asking around about your father?"

"I haven't been around him in a long time..."

"So you don't know much about him?"

Shinji shrugged one shoulder. "I've learned some things about my father recently. About his job, my mother, but not a lot. So..."

"You're wrong there. You only believe that you've learned. People can't understand others completely. Who knows if you can even understand yourself? Understanding each other 100% is impossible. Of course, that's why we spend so much time trying to understand ourselves and others. That's what makes life so interesting."

Shinji frowned at that. It sounded... like giving up without ever really trying, assuming you could never win anyway. "Is that also true for your relationship with Misato-san?"

Kaji smiled sadly in the darkness. "The kanji for 'girlfriend' means 'a woman far away'. For us, women are on the opposite shore of a river wider and deeper than any ocean. We can never truly know them."

"Bullshit."

Kaji blinked. Had... _Shinji_ just said that? He rolled over to peer at the Third Child.

Shinji was staring at the ceiling, with a more determined look on his face than Kaji had ever seen from him. He looked almost angry. "Until you start talking, you never realize how much you're alike. She can be just as lonely as you, and you'd never know because she doesn't let it show. You have to hear what she's not saying out loud. You can't just let your fears or feeling like you're not worth her stop you, or you'll never know that she feels the same way. And then you have to _be_ worthy of her."

Kaji stared. _'There's no way a kid as shy and reserved as the Third Child would say something like that unless... he knew otherwise. 'She'? He's got someone. And there's only one person it could be; he's in love with Asuka. But... he's not talking like a boy with an unrequited crush, he's talking like a boy who has total certainty that she feels the same way.' _Kaji's eyes widened a hair. _'Ah, so __**that's**__ why they're so in synch, why the bickering between him and Asuka tonight felt so odd and forced; she loves him back... They're putting on a show to hide it. Why? I know Katsuragi thinks they like each other already. She'd hardly stop them from dating.'_

Shinji was still talking. "'You have to take that first step, or nothing will change.' Misato-san told me that. You should listen to her, Kaji-san."

Kaji laughed in surprise. "You're giving _me_ advice on relationships, Shinji-kun?"

Shinji looked away, the angry, determined look fading into his more usual polite shyness. "I'm sorry. I just want Misato-san to be happy, and... she's happy when she comes back from going out with you."

Kaji sighed. "It's not that simple sometimes, Shinji-kun. We've been together before. It didn't last."

"Because you let her push you away? She's mentioned something about that, how she made a mistake back then."

"She told me she wanted to break up. I... didn't fight it."

"Do you really think she meant it? Or was she just afraid of making the next step forward? You can really like someone and still be afraid of moving forward, because it's so intense. But when you do... it's worth everything you've risked and more," Shinji said, his eyes faraway.

_'Was she afraid? Was I? I... never could find the courage to say those words to her. I still can't. And here I am now, getting advice on love from Shinji-kun. Life is funny.' _"How long have you been in love with Asuka?"

"Since the moment I saw her..." Shinji replied with a distant smile. That smile collapsed as he realized what he'd just said. "Ah! I mean... it's nothing! I... we're not... damn it." He fixed Kaji with a pleading look. "Don't tell Misato-san. We don't want her to..." He paused. "To... to tease us, or anything."

Kaji chuckled softly. "Don't worry, Shinji-kun. If you and Asuka-chan being together makes you sound like that, I don't think it would be a good thing to take that away. And it will be fun watching Katsuragi try to figure it out. I'll tell her if she asks me, though." He smiled. "I don't think you need to be as afraid of what she will say as you seem to be, Shinji-kun. I think she'll approve of you two going out. And if you two can make it, maybe we can. Maybe I'll ask her out when she comes back home."

Shinji still looked worried, but nodded. "Thank you, Kaji-san. Please make Misato-san happy." He looked like he wanted to say something else, but just rolled over. "Goodnight."


	13. Ch 12 - The Storm Breaks Pt 3

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 6 Pt 3

The Storm Breaks

.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

.

"T-minus 5 minutes to Unit-03 activation test."

"Primary power, standing by."

"Apotheosis No. 2, all clear."

"Refrigeration systems in all sections functioning at standard levels."

"Pressure lock on the left arm secured in place."

Ritsuko glanced around the interior of the NERV Mobile Command Truck one more time and nodded at the operators as she checked off the list on her clipboard. "Roger. Team B, start the operation."

The lead operator entered the initiation command at his station. "Data link to Evangelion Unit-03 established. Steps 1 through 108 beginning in sequence."

"Four combat read Evas. We could destroy half the world if we wanted to," Misato mused.

"Will it be enough?" Ritsuko asked.

Misato raised an eyebrow at her. "'Enough'? Enough for what?"

Ristuko schooled her face to innocence. "To defeat the Angels, of course."

Misato didn't look convinced. "And once we've done that? What happens to the Eva's then?"

"I'm sure the Commander has a plan."

"It would be nice if he shared that a bit."

One of the female operators near them spoke up. "The Fourth Child is here. She's getting into the Entry Plug now, ma'am."

"Good," Ritsuko replied. "Begin synchronization start as soon as the Entry Plug is secured."

The lead operator acknowledged. "Entry Plug loading now. Beginning Phase One connections. Trasmitting pulses. All nerve links are normal. List clear through 2-5-5-0. Harmonics all reading standard. Approaching absolute borderline..."

On the indicator board the long line of red system link icons rapidly ticked from red to green like the teeth of a zipper. They hesitated as they approached the absolute borderline mark, where the Eva became truly active. They flickered there for a second, then surged across.

Dozens of other indicators suddenly went wild. Alarms began to sound and the lighting in the truck automatically went red. Misato saw her friend's knuckles go white where they gripped her pen and clipboard.

"There's a huge power surge coming from inside the Unit!" the lead operator shouted.

"Abort the test! Cut all the circuits, now!" Ritsuko yelled over the alarms.

"Impossible! No response from the system!" the female operator responded. "None of the controls are..._Pattern Blue!_"

Ritsuko's eyes went wide. "It can't be... An Angel?!"

The remote camera displays showing Unit-03 in the underground Cage suddenly showed the Eva's titanic jaws gape open, and an unearthly roar sounded from the Eva's throat.

The world went white.

..

Shinji made himself keep his hands on the controls of Unit-01. He knew that if he took them off they'd start nervously clenching over and over. "What kind of accident? What about Misato-san?"

"They cannot make contact yet," Rei said, no hint of any emotion in her voice. It was only weeks of careful listening that let Shinji hear the concern in her tone. Her face in the comm window as perfectly expressionless.

"There's no point in getting worked up about it, baka. Just stay on your toes," Asuka said from Unit-02. "They probably just deployed us as a precaution."

"But if we have to fight an Angel, we won't have her running Operations. What are we supposed to do?"

"Commander Ikari is taking direct command for now," Rei said.

Shinji's mouth twisted. "My father is?"

"Suddenly, I miss Misato," Asuka agreed grimly.

..

"Mount Nobe observation post has a visual on the target! Transferring to main screen now!" Lieutenant Aoba announced.

The 30 meter wide screen in Central Dogma lit up with the hellish orange glow of the sunset. At first the screen showed only the empty road through the pass near Mount Nobe. Then a huge, dark figure shambled into sight from behind the farthest ridge. Evangelion Unit-03 slowly walked into view, it's head hunched down and forward like a beast's. A shocked gasp ran throughout the command center, save for the two senior men at the top of the MAGI tower.

"Just as we thought," Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki said tiredly.

Commander Ikari merely grunted into his folded hands. "Transmit the termination signal. Execute a forced ejection of the Entry Plug."

Lieutenant Ibuki tapped furiously at her keyboard for a moment, but shook her head. "Negative response, Commander. Unit-03 is not acknowledging the termination signal, and the ejection system is showing some sort of malfunction. The Entry Plug has not left the Eva."

"What about the Pilot?" Commander Ikari asked, no surprise in his tone.

Lieutenant Hyuga shook his head. "No life signs, sir. All signals cut off at the moment of the accident. The few sensors I can still access aren't making any sense. I can't tell if the Fourth Child is alive or not."

"Very well," Gendo declared. "From this time, Evangelion Unit-03 is abandoned, and the target is recognized as the 13th Angel."

Lieutenant Hyuga blanched. "B... but sir!"

Gendo ignored his protest. "Deploy the Evas as planned at Mount Nobe," he said coldly. "Engage and destroy the target."

..

"All units, stand by for ground battle," Lieutenant Hyuga said over the net.

Shinji gripped the controls harder. He didn't like this. They wouldn't give him any information about what they were about to face, and worse, he couldn't even see his friends. His father had ordered them to deploy in a line, not across the axis of advance, but parallel to it, ensuring that they'd meet the enemy one by one instead of together. They were out there in front of him, somewhere, hidden from his sight behind the small hills and ridges of the area, but in such a way that none of them could cover the others until they'd fallen back from where they were located now. For all the cover and supporting fire he could offer, Shinji might as well have been back in Tokyo-3. He knew he was no general, but it made no sense to him. He really wished Misato was in command. Asuka was at the front of the line, in the position of maximum danger, and he couldn't even see her, much less support and protect her in a fight.

"Father, why are we positioned like this? I can't support Asuka or Ayanami-san like this!"

"Remain in position and await orders, Pilot Ikari. Be quiet," Commander Ikari flatly replied. "Your target is there."

Shinji's eyes snapped to the view in front of him. There was a flicker of movement at the edge of his line of sight. He zoomed all the way in and his eyes went wide. The implacable gait of Evangelion Unit-03 was silhouetted against the bloody orb of the setting sun like a demon marching out of the underworld. "What? That's... an Angel? We're targeting an Eva?" Shinji asked in disbelief. "I... Horaki-san is in there, isn't she?! We can't attack her!"

"Hikari!" Asuka blurted. "Is she alright? It was taken over by an Angel? Are we still reading life signs?"

"Engage the target," the Commander ordered her.

Asuka reluctantly raised her Eva-scale rocket launcher from her kneeling position behind a low wooded hill, aiming at Unit-03, which was now only a few thousand meters away. Once she had Unit-03 centered in her sights, however, her finger hesitated on the trigger. After a moment, she shifted her point of aim from the center of Unit-03's chest to the left leg.

"Pilot Soryu, what are you doing?" Commander Ikari's question made her aimpoint jump.

"Hikari is in there! These missiles can blow holes in battleships! I'm not going to fire it near her Entry Plug!"

"There are no life signs from the Pilot. Her life is irrelevant in this situation. You will fire to destroy the target immediately."

"Like Hell I will!" The rogue Eva was much closer now. Asuka could see its red eyes, glowing with malevolence. She resettled her sights on Unit-03's leg and squeezed the trigger twice. Two huge projectiles as large as ballistic missiles used by conventional ground forces rocketed out towards her target. They both slammed uselessly into the orange octagons of a manifested AT-Field, exploding in huge but futile fireballs.

"Scheiße!" Asuka snarled. She raised her launcher again, but the first attack had apparently angered and alerted the Angel to her presence, and it leapt impossibly high and fast into the air, crashing down right in front of Unit-02, its arms swinging out to strike at her head.

She frantically parried with the launcher, bashing the reaching hands aside, but the Angel charged in anyhow, headbutting Unit-02 forehead-to-forehead. The impact knocked Asuka backwards, her Eva toppling over onto its back. Asuka tried to toss the now useless, bent launcher aside and recover her footing, but the Angel leapt again, landing right on top of her. She shoved the launcher in front of her, using it to keep the clawing hands and open jaws of Unit-03 away from her face.

_'What the fuck? Is this thing trying to __**bite**__ me?'_ "Damn it! Wondergirl! Baka! Give me some help here!" she shouted as impossibly _drooling_ jaws snapped and roared in her face.

"Unit-00, move to assist Unit-02. Unit-01, maintain your position," Gendo ordered.

But Shinji was already in motion. He'd begun moving as soon as he hear Asuka's shout of surprise. His rapid head start allowed him to make up most of the distance between him and Rei before she'd begun to move, and they advanced almost together at a run. Their Evas' huge strides ate up the distance between them and Asuka a hundred meters at a stride.

"Unit-01, return to your position. Do not advance without orders," Gendo's voice was even colder now. "Unit-00, avoid close combat and engage the target. Shoot to kill."

Rei's quiet "Yes, sir" was overridden by Shinji's shouted, "Asuka needs our help! What good is it for me to sit here?! Rei, don't hit Horaki-san! Shoot to disable!"

"Pilot Ikari, so not attempt to countermand my orders. Return to your position and do not move again without instruction from me to do so. Rei, disregard him. Destroy the target."

Rei halted within a few hundred meters of the struggling Evas and raised her rifle. Unit-03 was still on top of Unit-02, seemingly trying to bite at its face and throat. _'From this position, any fire I direct at its back in an attempt to strike at the center of mass and possible Core location will likely also hit the Entry Plug and injure Hikari. This is unacceptable. But Commander Ikari has ordered me to fire to kill immediately. This is imperative. These requirements are not compatible. I... I do not know what to do..."_

Asuka's struggle to keep the snapping jaws of Unit-03 away from her face came to a sudden end as the Angel switched tactics, shifting its hands to grab at Unit-02's. Capturing Unit-02's left hand, the Angel yanked it close and sank its teeth into Asuka's arm.

"AAAAGGH!" she screamed. "Get the fuck _off_ me!" She reached up and back with her right hand to seize the Progressive Knife she quickly deployed from her right shoulder fin. She stabbed at the Angel's neck and shoulder. The humming blade sank into the Angel's flesh, forcing it to release the bite and rear back. Asuka's shout of victory died stillborn as she became aware of the burning sensation in her left arm.

Purple goo was dripping from the Angel's forearm where the lighter panels of the Eva's armor looked like they were melting. The semi-liquid muck was somehow seeping _through_ her own armor... no, _into_ it! Her arm felt like it was on fire, and the Eva's arm began to thrash uncontrollably.

Rei clenched her teeth. She had to do something. She could try aiming at its head... but the closeness to Unit-02's head made that just as likely to hurt Asuka. At least the proximity of the two Evas made it impossible for the Angel to interpose an AT-Field to block her... she hoped. She aimed her rifle at the Angel's lower back and fired. The burst of 330mm shells slammed into the Evangelion's back, chipping and holing the armor over the back and pelvis.

The readouts on Maya's console were going wild. "The Angel is invading the left arm of Unit-02! The nerves are being corrupted by some kind of infection attack!" she reported.

"Sever the left arm immediately," Gendo ordered.

Maya spun her chair halfway around to stare up at him. "But sir, if we don't disconnect the neural links first, Asuka will-"

Gendo brushed her protests aside. "Sever the left arm. Now."

Lieutenant Ibuki swallowed. "Yes, sir." She entered the emergency command.

Explosive bolts and quick disconnects in Unit-02's left shoulder socket fired. With a burst of sparks and smoke Unit-02's arm exploded away from its body, crashing into a house nearby. The blast pushed the Angel up and back from Unit-02.

"AAAAAAAAAA!" Inside the Entry Plug, Asuka screamed even louder than before. She'd been fully synched, and felt everything exactly as she would if it have been her own body. She clamped her right hand over her left shoulder, desperately reassuring herself that her arm was still there. She bit back a huge wave of nausea and the phantom sensation that her arm had just been ripped off whole. She fought the animal urge to go into a defensive curl around the wound and tried to order Unit-02 to roll away from the Angel.

Unit-01 skidded to a stop right behind her. Shinji dropped his Pallet Rifle with a crash, flattening another house, and pulled her away. She was lucky, as the Angel seemed to regard her injured thrashings as marking her as no longer a threat. It turned towards Unit-00, growling in anger from the injury Rei had inflicted.

Rei calmly aimed her rifle at its head. But the Angel ducked as she fired, dropping somehow low and out of the line of fire. As it crouched it flung its arm toward Unit-00. The Angel's arm somehow extended impossibly long as it did, reaching out from 200 meters away to grab Unit-00's right hand and rifle. As Rei fought to pull it back and fire again, the Angel reached out its other arm and wrapped a distorted, too-large hand around Unit-00's head.

Suddenly Rei was blind. She clawed at her face with her other hand. Unit-00's head began to creak and groan as the Angel squeezed. In the Entry Plug, Rei winced in transmitted pain as it felt like her skull was being compressed. An ear-splitting CRACK ran through Unit-00 as the massive cyclopean optic lens cracked in two.

Shinji carefully sat Unit-02 up against a low building as fast as he could. "Asuka, are you alright?"

"Aaagh fuck fuck fuck fuck! No, this fucking _hurts_, baka! But go help Rei!" she yelled back.

Shinji tore his eyes away from his wounded lover and looked at Unit-00. He leapt up and sprinted towards the fight when he saw Rei's troubles. He snatched up his Pallet Rifle as he passed, bringing it up in one smooth motion. "Get away from her!"

He fired at the Angel's legs, trying to cripple it. The huge shells tore up its leg, but it kept its grip on Unit-00's head and arm. Shinji snarled and ran closer, smashing at the Angel's arm with the butt of the rifle. "Let her go! Horaki-san, are you in there?"

The Angel's arm buckled under his strike and it lost its grip on Unit-00's arm. It retracted it back to normal length, then lashed back out again like a whip at Shinji. He ducked and darted to his right, trying to work his way around its side. "Horaki-san! Can you hear me?"

Gendo sounded more angry. "Pilot Ikari, destroy the target. Why won't you attack?"

"Horaki-san is inside, father!"

"It doesn't matter! It's an Angel. It is our enemy."

"I can't do it! I have to save her! I can't kill a person!"

"You have your orders. Obey them. Destroy the Angel before it can do any more damage."

Shinji ignored him and ducked the lashing arm again. He could see behind the Angel's neck and shoulders now. The armor cap covering the Entry Plug slot was gone, and the white stub of the end of the Plug was visible protruding slightly from its slot. Evil-looking purple strings of some gluey matter webbed all over the Plug, sealing it in the Eva. _'I have to get in close and pull her out!'_

The Angel kept turning, moving to keep him in view while still maintaining its grip on Unit-00. However, Rei took advantage of the Angel only having one had to attack her with and brought her rifle up blind to place the barrel against the Angel's arm right in front of her body. She fired point-blank into its skin. The Angel screamed in pain as the burst nearly tore its hand off, forcing it to release her.

The Angel narrowed its eyes, glaring at them both, still turning to keep them both in view... which meant it was totally blindsided when Asuka landed on its back and stabbed it in the spine with her Prog Knife griped in her remaining arm. "_Surprise_, Scheißkerl! Payback's a _bitch_, and so am I! Eat _this_!" She jammed the knife in again and again, leaving it embedded hilt-deep in the Angel's shoulder. As the Angel screamed and grabbed awkwardly at the hilt, Asuka grabbed the protruding end of the Entry Plug and yanked. "And give me my friend back, you gooey little shit!" She got a solid grip and kicked back off the Angel, pulling the Entry PLug free with a wet sound as the strands of Angel-goo tore loose.

Asuka converted her leap backwards into a roll, coming to a halt on her knees, cradling the Entry Plug like a baby. She looked up just in time to see the Angel spinning around and charging at her, roaring like an animal. "Scheiße! Rei! Catch!" She flung the Entry Plug over the Angel's head and caught its hand with her own. She skidded backwards from the impact, but stayed upright.

Rei dropped her rifle and caught the Entry Plug. She dashed back towards the support line they'd started from a few kilometers behind them.

"Rei, put down that useless Entry Plug and engage the Angel. It is irrelevant to this battle and may contaminate your Evangelion," Gendo said sharply. Rei did not answer, reaching the support line with its cluster of NERV vehicles mere moments later. She carefully put the Entry Plug down next to the command vehicle and sprinted back towards the fight. "Roger, moving to re-engage." No hint of her mood showed on her face. _'I have protected my friend. Now I must aid my other friends, and fulfill my function.'_

..

Shinji raised his rifle with a clearer heart this time. Horaki-san had been rescued. Now there was no reason not to fire on the Angel. Doubly so now that he was fighting next to Asuka. He wordlessly deployed his own Progressive Knife and tossed it to her without looking. She caught it one-handed without removing her eyes from the Angel. "Ready, Second Child?"

Despite the screaming pain in her left shoulder, Asuka found she was grinning. She was in the thick of a battle, fighting the fight she'd trained her whole life for, and this time she was doing it with someone she trusted and loved more than anything in the world at her side. Nothing in the universe could stop them. And now he was challenging her to match him again? Glorious! This was the meaning of her life. She almost laughed out loud. "I was _born_ ready. Do _you_ still remember the steps, Third Child?"

"On three, two, one..." Shinji counted off.

They exploded into motion, Shinji dashing left, firing as he ran. When the magazine clicked empty, he dropped his rifle and snatched up Rei's without breaking stride. Asuka shot right, zig-zagging closer, dividing the Angel's attention and doing her best to make herself as hard to track as possible. The Angel tried to block Shinji's fire with an AT-Field, but it flickered out almost before it formed as Asuka got close enough to degrade it with her own. The Angel roared in frustration as the two Pilot's circled around it, forcing it to turn in a tight circle trying to keep them in view.

It swung at Asuka with its extendable limbs, nearly catching her as she leapt and rolled to where Shinji had dropped his rifle. She grabbed it up, whirling around to let the Angel grab it. The Angel screamed again as it proved to be a feint. Asuka let it grab the rifle, then stabbed it in the wrist with Uint-01's Prog Knife. She used the stab wounds like a climbing hold to drag the Angel closer. "Come here, you bastard! I want a word with you! How about 'Die!'" She kneed it as hard as she could in the solar plexus when it came in range. Huge slabs of abused chest armor shattered and fell away under the blow.

Asuka's eyes caught the ruby red flicker that the breach exposed. "Shinji! There's a Core under the armor! I can see it! Aim for where its heart would be!" She parried the Angel's arm with her blade. It swung at her with the other arm, but with the hand Rei had shot up dangling uselessly and only slowly regenerating, it couldn't get a grip on her.

"Roger! Ten seconds!" Shinji ran straight at the Angel's back, now exposed and turned towards him by Asuka's attack. His second rifle clicked empty blasting a crater in the Angel's back armor. He grabbed it by the barrel as an improvised bat. "Three! Two! One! NOW!"

Asuka blocked, blocked, parried the Angel's punches on the beat, and at the precise moment of Shinji's cry reversed her grip on the Prog Knife and drove it into the Angel's Core, putting her entire weight behind it. At the same instant, Shinji swung the rifle full-strength into the Angel's back directly opposite her strike, punching through the remaining armor and crushing the Angel's Core from behind. Between the hammer of Asuka's blow and the anvil of his strike, the Angel's Core let off a huge spray of sparks and light before emitting an enormous CRACK and going dark.

The Angel gave one last scream as its eyes went dark.

Panting like he'd run a marathon, Shinji looked over the dead Angel's shoulder at his lover, partner, and wingmate. He grinned tiredly. "We won." _'I love you,'_ his eyes said loudly.

Panting just as hard, Asuka grinned back, the pain starting to fade a bit as the Geofront operators began to reduce her synch now that the battle had ended. "Baka. Of course we did. I told you: we're the most dangerous people on the planet. No power in the 'verse can stop us." _'I love you too, baka,'_ she winked.

..

The recovery team leader waved the crew with the disinfectant chemical sprayers to move back. They'd collected their samples of the remaining Angel-goo and verified the Entry Plug was still sealed tight. Hopefully, this meant the Angel's contamination had been unable to penetrate and the Pilot was still... well, at least in one piece. They'd had no life signs or any other coherent readings since the initial accident. Still, he was taking no chances. A full squad of guards with machine guns stood by, ready every bit as much as the medical team right behind them.

Two men in decontamination suits stepped forward with the power gear to open the hatch. It made quick work of the heavy handle, and swung back to pull the hatch aside. A tide of LCL flooded out. The team leader blinked in surprise as the empty plugsuit washed against his feet. "What is this? Is she naked in there or something?"

..

Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki looked aside at the Commander of NERV. "That synchronization training Major Katsuragi put them through seems to have been very useful. Your son proved more capable than we thought. The Second Child too."

Gendo grunted irritably. "And even less obedient. Their refusal to follow instructions has grown right along with their skills. Fortunately, our solution to this problem is nearly ready. I think this episode shows that we are right to accelerate it."

"Provided Doctor Akagi has survived the accident to complete it. I am surprised you didn't warn her, given what the Dead Sea Scrolls warned us about this Angel," the old professor replied.

"She is useful, not irreplaceable. If she is dead, there are others with sufficient skill to complete it," Gendo said. As far as the Sub-Commander could tell, Commander Ikari was not perturbed at all by the possible loss of the long-time head of Project E and his mistress.

"Your concern is touching," Fuyutsuki replied dryly.

"As is your sentimentality, Professor." Gendo unlinked his hands and rose from the desk. "Have the Second and Third Children arrested and confined for insubordination once they return. I am finished with their childish misbehavior."

"Yes, sir."

..

Asuka managed to keep herself from bouncing in her seat from the buzz, but couldn't stop the grin that wouldn't leave her face. So she didn't try.

This was _great_. She and her _boyfriend_ had just killed an Angel. They'd saved Hikari, fought in perfect natural synch like they'd been practicing it for weeks, and finished off the Angel with hardly any collateral damage. She'd even gotten up and kept fighting after that bastard Commander Ikari had ordered her Eva's arm blown off. She'd fought like a demon, won gloriously, and was now returning to the Geofront with her devoted lover by her side for what she was sure would be a very nice victory dinner and a then a post-battle 'celebration' in their room that night. She snickered in anticipation of that last. Glory in battle, love at home, and fame all over... this was the way she'd always dreamed her life would be. And now she was _living_ it! Life was good.

"Hey, Shinji," she called. He looked up in the comm window. He was smiling too, a rare but slowly more frequent sight. "Think we should get Ayanami in on the synchronization dance training too? She was left out of the real action once we started our awesome routine."

Shinji smiled a little wider. "Who knew Misato-san's plan for 'defeating the Angels through the power of interpretive dance' would be so useful later? I wonder if Ayanami-san can even dance?"

Unit-02 thudded into place in its cage as the heavy launch/transit cradle finally reached rest. She began powering down systems to prepare for the Entry Plug's extraction. "I expect a truly stunning feast tonight in honor of my grand victory, baka-Shinji."

He snorted at her. "_Your_ victory? I seem to reme-" His voice cut off as she powered down the communication systems.

"Sorry, Shinji, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am!" she trilled cheerfully. The Entry Plug rumbled and hummed as the extraction arm pulled it out of Unit-02's neck and swung it over to the access catwalk. She coughed up the usual lungful of LCL as the Plug drained before the hatch opened. She grabbed the rim of the hatch and gracefully swung her body out onto the catwalk with ease born of long practice.

The unsmiling squad of NERV guards with slung submachine guns was not her usual greeting crew. Her smile melted away into a confused look. "Wha-"

The lieutenant leading the squad gave her a cold stare. "Pilot Soryu, Commander Ikari has ordered your arrest and confinement for insubordination in battle. You will come with us."

Asuka's mouth dropped open in shock. She took a deep breath.

"_EURE MÜTTER-"_

..

Shinji fumed as he was led at not-quite-gunpoint down into the depths of NERV HQ where they kept the cells. He was still dripping LCL residue from all over his plugsuit, leaving a sticky trail of footprints as they walked. _'Trust my father to turn the best battle I've ever had into something ugly,' _he seethed. _'Insubordination? We saved the day! We saved Horaki-san and killed the Angel! So we did it without following his stupid instructions, so what? His orders would have gotten Horaki-san killed and had me stand there like a post while Asuka and Rei had to fight without me!'_

The silent guards shoved him none-too-gently into a cell and slammed the heavy door closed behind him. It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the dark. The only light in the cell was what came in through the small glass window in the door. Either the cell was deliberately dark, or they hadn't even bothered to turn the lights on for him. He could barely make out the tiny bunk-cum-bench or the toilet in the corner. _'Looks like I get to stay covered in LCL for a while,'_ he thought angrily, noting the lack of a shower or any way to wash himself clean.

The concrete walls muffled most sound from the hall, but his ears perked up as something did penetrate.

_"Verfluchtes Arschloch! Kommandant Ikari ist eine Idiot! Ich werde mit meiner EVA auf seinem Haus herumtanzen!_ _Zum Teufel mit euch allen! Lasst mich los, ihr verdammter abschaum! Lasst mich los oder ich reiß eure Arme ab! Wisst ihr nicht wer ich bin!? Ihr seid Idioten! Ihr seid ALLE Idioten! Und Kommandant Ikari! SIE SIND DER GRÖßTE IDIOT!"_

A smile returned to his face. He knew that sound. It was the sound of a familiar voice being loud and _very_ angry in German. He'd learned some German over the last few months with Asuka, and he was impressed by the abuse she was pouring out in a steady stream.

He hear the cell door next to his open and slam shut again, cutting off most of the continuing rant. He couldn't hear her very well, but he could tell she was still shouting at full volume even if the words were indistinct.

It took a while before she ran down. Once a bit of quiet had returned, Shinji found the point on his cell's wall that seemed closest to where he'd last heard her from and started carefully knocking on the wall between them. Words might not get through the concrete, but he could at least let her know he was here.

..

Asuka cleared her aching throat and let her head sink back to rest against the wall. How dare Commander Ikari lock them up for winning without his permission? She'd let the goons that dragged her down here know what she thought of the idea the whole was to this cell. She doubted any of them knew enough German to appreciate it, but she'd been too angry to do it in Japanese. The effort had left her throat a little sore, though.

And now she was alone, locked in a little concrete box. Damn it. Right now, she should be showering off the LCL and thinking about what she wanted Shinji to make for their victory feast, not sitting in the dark covered in cooling slime. Alone in the dark. Alone in the-

She slammed that line of thought to a halt. No. This was not like being trapped in that Angel with her life support running out. She was not going to panic. Not. Not! She forced herself to breathe slowly and deeply. The silence pressed in… but her ears caught the sound of something.

Tap… tap tap tap… tap tap… t-tap…

Her brow knitted. She… she knew that bea-Yes! That was the beat from the song Misato had made her and Shinji learn their synchronization moves to! Her heart surged. _'Which means Shinji's the one tapping! Who else would be using that beat down here right now? He's right next to me!'_

She quickly located the spot on the wall where the sound was coming from, right next to her bunk. She put her head closer too it and began to tap back. _'I can hear you, Shinji. I'm right here too.'_

Despite everything, she smiled in the dark. He was keeping his promise. He was still going to sleep right next to her. _'And most of all, I'm not alone. Ten weeks ago, being locked in a cell by myself would have driven me insane. But I'm not by myself, am I? You're with me. Thank you, my dearest baka. I love you.'_

..

She swam back to consciousness slowly, finally realizing the constant wail of sirens and the flashes of red and blue light were really going on around her and were not just more hallucinatory bad dreams. She could feel someone with a large, warm grip holding her right hand. She cracked her eyes open, wincing as even the dim light of evening made the pounding in her head redouble. She carefully rolled her head to the side and a familiar face blurrily came into view. "Kaji?"

He squeezed her hand. "Katsuragi," he softly replied, his voice full of relief and warmth. "I'm glad you're alright."

She squeezed back as firmly as she could, which wasn't much. "'S good to see you to. You've got nice warm hands," she slurred. "'S nice to wake up to your face."

He smiled briefly at her comment, and stroked the back of her hand. "Maybe we should do that more often. Well, without the whole 'you being on a gurney' part. You took a pretty good knock to the head, and your left arm is fractured in two places. You're not allowed to get blown up like this again, Katsuragi. What would I do if you…" He stopped and squeezed her hand tight. "Don't die on me, Katsuragi. I haven't… I still haven't…" He struggled for words. "You and I still have things to say to each other. Things we should have said a long time ago."

She blinked. It was hard to focus her thoughts, but this felt important. Her pulse was already racing on ahead. Was he really… about to say what she thought he was? _'I… I don't know if I can take that right now, Kaji. God, I want you to say it, and I want to say it back, but… Oh come on, Misato! Why can't you say it first? You coward. This is just like when you ran away last time! Say it!' _"Kaji, I…"

He shook his head, stopping her. "Not now, not like this. You and I have a lot of important things to say, but it shouldn't be like this. Later, we're going out for a nice dinner at a restaurant a bit friendlier to such conversations than an emergency site like this." He smiled grimly. "You're going to have a good bit of paperwork to do once you're on your feet again."

Misato's eyes widened a bit. The test! The alarms had gone off, Ritsuko had shouted for them to cut the power, then… it had all gone dark. "What happened?"

"An Angel infected Unit-03 somehow. Shinji-kun and Asuka destroyed it as the 13th Angel." Kaji frowned. "They ignored Commander Ikari's orders to attack immediately and saved the Entry Plug. Commander Ikari had them arrested for insubordination right after they returned."

"Arrested?! What? And they saved the Entry Plug? Is Hikari-chan alright?"

Kaji pressed his lips together. "She's… MIA."

Misato looked at him, trying to make sense of that. "Missing in action? How do you go missing from an Entry Plug? I saw her get in!"

"All they found when they opened the hatch was her plugsuit. No sign of her."

"Is she… still in the Eva?" Her head pounded. "What's Ritsuko doing? Has she got anything?"

Kaji shook his head again. "She's not doing anything right now. She got hit worse than you. She's still unconscious. They're flying her to NERV HQ right now. The recovery teams are getting Unit-03 down into the Cages and going over it now, but none of the readings from it are making any sense. Hopefully Ritsuko can help figure out what happened once she's awake." He stood up, but held on to her hand. "For now, you're flying home with me…"

'_Oh, yes, that sounds very nice…' _Misato thought_._

"To Tokyo-3. We've got to get you to NERV Medical too."

Misato's dawning smile faded. "Tease," she muttered. Her thoughts drifted back to the Pilots as Kaji wheeled her gurney towards a waiting VTOL with NERV markings. _'Arrested?_ _Shinji __**and**__ Asuka? Whahat am I supposed to do with half my Pilots locked up and one missing? Tell Rei to be in four places at once and pilot them all herself? What the Hell is Commander Ikari doing?"_

..

Gendo stared through the glass of the observation bay at Unit-02. The Eva's return stare was as expressionless as his own. "Begin the test."

Lieutenant Ibuki hesitated. "Commander, I really think we should wait until Akagi-sempai is awake and can check this. The system was not fully cleared by her, and I'm not certain we can stabilize a lot of the emotional factors with-"

Gendo shifted his stare to her. "Begin the test," he said flatly.

Maya hesitated again, but capitulated. "Y-yes, sir."

She hunched lower over the keyboard and entered the initiation commands. "Beginning Dummy Plug system test. Simulated neural pulses are active and being received by the Core. Approaching absolute borderline… 0.6… 0.8… 0.95…"

In the test bay, Unit-02's eyes flashed to green. A deep growl began to emanate from the huge, clenched jaws.

The sound made Maya shiver. _'Just like Akagi-sempai said… It sounds… so angry, like it wants to kill everyone in here.'_ "Unit-02 has activated, Commander," she nervously reported. "Um… there's a lot of noise in the signal. I… I can't predict how stable it will be."

"Raise the right arm and make a fist," Gendo ordered without looking at her.

Lieutenant Ibuki tapped at the keys, and Unit-02 brought up its arm and made a fist, precisely as ordered.

Gendo smiled tightly at his reflection in the glass.

..

"I am disappointed with you, Rei."

Rei let nothing show on her face. She held her stare at the glowing lenses that looked as if they were hovering above the polished black surface of his desk. "Sir?"

"You let Pilot Ikari's insubordination distract you in battle. You hesitated to fire when ordered. You wasted valuable time handling Unit-03's Entry Plug and exposed your Eva to potential Angelic contamination," Gendo said. "I expect instant and full obedience from you, Rei. It is unacceptable for you to fail in that. Your role in my plans allows for no less."

"Yes, sir." _'I have always followed your orders, sir. I have never been less than fully obedient to your commands. Why did you need to drug me? Why was I kept so isolated? Why did it take the intervention __**against**__ your orders by Shinji and Asuka before I began to see what life was?'_

"You will not allow Pilot Ikari to interfere with your performance ever again. You will execute my every order only and as they are given. You know the consequences if you fail."

"Yes, sir." _'Am I nothing but a replaceable tool to you? I have friends now, friends who like me for who I am as a real person. You have been my whole world since you created me. Have I not done my job perfectly, been your servant as required?'_

"You are the key to Instrumentality and the salvation of Mankind from men like Kihl, Rei. You were created for that purpose, not to rescue expendable Pilots and endanger the Scenario. You will fulfill that purpose and that only. Understood?"

Asuka's voice echoed in Rei's head. _''Don't ever let Commander Ikari or anyone tell you who you are, Wondergirl. Being a real person means the ability to choose. To be able to say 'No' when authority tells you to do something wrong.' I am I. I was created with the ability to choose. Hikari is my friend, as are Shinji and Asuka. Am I supposed to ignore it when they ask my aid to rescue Hikari? I may welcome the cessation of pain that oblivion promises, but not at the cost of my friends' happiness. My friends would not abandon me. I will not abandon them without more cause than your orders alone, Commander. You owe me that much.'_

"Yes, sir."

"Dismissed."

..

"The handcuffs are a nice touch," Asuka muttered as the guards marched them down the hall to Commander Ikari's office. She rattled the triple set of handcuffs they'd both been fitted with. "Do they think the two of us are about to overpower the entire squad of armed guards and take your father hostage?"

Shinji's face was as stony as his father's usually was. "Two days in those cells and they won't even let us wash before hauling us in to see him? I hope he likes the smell of dried LCL and unwashed teenager. And what was so important he had us sit there for two days? Where's Misato-san? Why won't anyone tell us anything?"

"Maybe we'll find out from him. Though given how forthcoming your jackass father usually is, I'm betting no. Misato will have to tell us later." Asuka shook her head as they approached the doors, her usually glossy made a matted tangle from the dried LCL. "We beat the Angel and saved Hikari. That has to count for something."

The broad black doors swung open, and the guards motioned them inside alone. _'A private audience? What an honor,'_ Shinji darkly observed.

His father was seated at his huge desk on the far side of the room, backlit by the windows until all they could see was a black silhouette and his glowing lenses. The weird, ancient script design in the floor and ceiling made him look like a demon king at the heart of a summoning circle. Shinji tried to stay as straight-backed as Asuka, but the effect was still creepy and intimidating anyhow.

He and Asuka came to a halt 30 meters from the desk. They waited silently for the Commander to begin. He let them stand there for a while, just staring at them. "Evangelion units are the most powerful weapons on the planet. Your responsibilities as Evangelion Pilots require the strictest attention to orders or unimaginable devastation can result, or worse, the Angels could defeat you and all humanity could be wiped out."

"Father, we-"

"Silence."

Shinji bit his tongue. _'Fine. It doesn't matter what he says. HE's not getting any apology from either of us.'_

Gendo let the silence go on for a minute before resuming. "This is not the first time you have disobeyed orders in combat. This is unacceptable. Since we cannot rely on you to follow vital instructions for the safety of humanity, we have successfully tested an automated Dummy Plug System to remove the need for Children as Pilots. Unit-01 and Unit-02 will henceforth deploy under Dummy Plug control. You are no longer needed."

Shinji felt his spine turn to ice. He heard Asuka give a strangled gasp in shock.

Commander Ikari's voice was as cold as an Arctic wind. "As of this moment, you are no longer Evangelion Pilots. Leave."

.

End of Chapter 6

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XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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Author's Note:

How's that for a Wham Line, kids?

Chapter 7 plotted, may be some slight delay as I work out the details. Another action heavy chapter. You know who's coming to dinner.


	14. Ch 13 - United We Stand Pt 1

Chapter 7

United We Stand

He waited until the two Children had left the vast, empty office before entering, watching via the remote cameras as the Third Child caught the Second before she hit the floor, then nearly carrying her out. He walked silently into the office, taking his usual position to Commander Ikari's side and rear.

He waited for a moment before speaking, waiting to see if the Commander had any comments first. But as usual, Commander Ikari was silent.

"Is this wise, Ikari?" Kozo Fuyutsuki finally asked. "The dummy Plugs have performed well in test, yes, but we have never field tested them against a real Angel. Are you sure about _firing_ our two best Pilots? And right after a successful kill of an Angel?"

"Their insubordination cannot be allowed to go unpunished. The Dummy Plugs will be more than adequate to deal with future Angels with the aid of Rei in Unit-01. She is reliable. And in the event we need our 'two best Pilots' back, that will not be difficult. The Second Child is utterly dependent on her self-image as an elite Evangelion Pilot, as you saw from the way she went into near shock from being dismissed. She is simple to manipulate. She will not return to Germany in apparent disgrace like this. She will remain as close to NERV as she can in the hopes that we will somehow return her to her place. The Third Child is nearly as simple. He will do as he is told. He has become dependent on the meager affection Major Katsuragi shows him and even the abuse the Second Child heaps on him, he is so starved for attention. And both of them will eagerly jump right back in if we snap our fingers."

Fuyutsuki regarded him skeptically. "Are you so certain of that? The look Shinji gave you..."

Gendo made a tiny wave of dismissal with one hand. "His anger at me is balanced by his desire for my praise and approval. He will not go anywhere. And you saw how he leapt to catch the Second when she nearly fainted. He is likely infatuated with her, despite his own crippling withdrawn nature or the way she treats him. He is a simple as any other teenage boy when confronted with a pretty face, even one that detests him. He will do what she tells him, and I am certain she will do as I have stated."

Gendo finally turned to give his Sub-Commander a razor thin smile. "Really, Professor, they are not that hard to manipulate. Despite their ability to Pilot the most potent weapons humanity has ever built, the Children have no real power here."

XXXXXX

Rei stared at the corvette floating serenely in the Geofront lake and tried to organize her thoughts. They refused to be as easily marshaled as the once had in the days when everything was still a drugged haze. Back then, though her mind was blurred by drugs, Rei's thoughts had been fairly simple and so routine that keeping them organized in rigid circles was a trivial task. But now that she had been freed of the drugs thanks to the urging of her friends, her thoughts were in complete disarray.

Friends who had been confined to the cells deep below for the last two days for defying the orders of Commander Ikari. For the first time Rei had found herself deeply concerned for her friends welfare but powerless to do anything, or even voice her concerns lest the changes and growth she had undergone be exposed. So she walked alongthe bank of the lake watching the ship float at anchor and... paced.

She had never done this before. She'd never understood the need or the action. But now, the nervous energy of worrying for her friends drove her to motion, any motion. She'd tried sitting still in her room or at school as she had done so many time before, but very quickly that became intolerable. Even the cool, soothing relief of swimming, her one indulgence, had proven only a temporary respite.

Yet somehow pacing, walking endless loops along the improvised path she was carving along the lakeside helped somehow. The sight of the lake was mildly soothing, and the walking helped clear her mind somewhat. What thoughts she could pin down were... still unsettling.

For years she had been utterly certain that Commander Ikari's Scenario was the best hope for Humanity's future in the face of SEELE's plan for godhood as the controlling minds in charge of a conglomerated mass-soul. Commander Ikari was not interested in godhood for power's sake; he only wanted to reunite with his beloved wife and be whole again. Then he would use his position as deity in the interests of letting mankind evolve further, to break out of the dead end SEELE and he believed it to be trapped in. Rei herself would finally be allowed to die, and let sweet oblivion overtake her, at last freeing her of the endless, gnawing pain in her soul that marked her every day since Commander Ikari had incarnated this copy of her.

And for years Rei had had no problem with this plan. But now... now she was no longer alone. Her choices no longer affected only herself and Commander Ikari. Yes, in theory they had always had the most universal application possible. But that had always been just as vaguely theoretical to Rei. The faceless mass of humanity at large and their loss of individuality in the process of Instrumentality had been meaningless to Rei.

But now that mass had a face. Two faces of particular import to Rei, and a slowly increasing number of others. The idea of Shinji and Asuka's bond being overwhelmed and erased by Instrumentality profoundly disturbed Rei. Even the idea of Classmates Aida-san, Classmate Suzuhara-kun, and Hikari being subsumed as individuals bothered her. Watching her friends achieve the happiness they had in this world had also given Rei hope that such a thing was possible for her, a possibility that was increasingly tantalizing. Instrumentality was no longer such an easy choice.

She frowned slightly as she rounded the far curve of the lake and NERV HQ's pyramidal bulk came into view. Hikari... It had been two days since Rei had laid the recovered Entry Plug down near the NERV command post at Mount Nobe, and she had still heard nothing of her newest friend. It was almost uniquely rare for Commander Ikari or Doctor Akagi to withhold anything from her. But Doctor Akagi was still unconscious in the hospital, and the Commander had been fully occupied with the Dummy Plug testing. She had no one to ask. It was still odd that Hikari had not been seen at NERV HQ's hospital or at school. Suzuhara-kun had worriedly asked her for any information she had the day after the battle, and Rei had felt the strangest pang of sadness at his expression when she had had to tell him she had nothing to tell him.

She faintly felt the presence of her greater body far down below her feet. Commander Ikari had instructed her never to go down there unescorted by himself. It had been a long time since Rei had been in the same room as her true self. She knew that one day, not too far off, she would serve as the half-Lilim, half-Lilith-Angelic bridge between the fully Lilim form of Commander Ikari and the remaining Angelic flesh of Adam. The combination of the two Progenitors true bodies, moderated by Rei's dual nature, would allow Commander Ikari's Lilim soul to control the process of Instrumentality.

It felt... almost heretical to contemplate it, but Rei was no longer certain Commander Ikari was the man she _wanted_ to have that power. Not just for the way he had imprisoned her friends; his absolute insistence that the Scenario must be completed as he had drawn up, that no other path was allowable, made Rei... doubt. Instrumentality would destroy her friends and herself as well. It would destroy everything Rei was coming to value. And commander Ikari would accept nothing less. Rei could no longer support that as unquestioningly as she had.

So Rei paced, waited for word of her friends, and... doubted.

XXXXXX

Shinji worriedly watched Asuka's face. She hadn't said a word or made a sound since they'd left his fath-... no, _Commander Ikari's_ office. Shinji ground his teeth again. For all the times he'd hurt him by neglect or indifference, Shinji had never hated his father as much as he did now. Because every other time his father had only been hurting _him. _Shinji had never realized he could be this angry and not actually berserking at the controls of Unit-01.

He'd hurt _her_! Shinji didn't care about what happened to his own worthless self, but Asuka... when Commander Ikari told them they were no longer Eva Pilots, Asuka had gone utterly white and started to collapse to her knees. Shinji had managed to catch her before she could fall. He'd shot his father a look of burning hatred before slinging one of Asuka's arms over his shoulder and practically carrying her out of the room. A waiting Section 2 agent had removed their cuffs and informed them he was to take them out of the Geofront immediately and drop them at Misato's apartment. Shinji had been too filled with boiling anger to do more than brusquely nod and follow him.

Asuka had moved like a puppet the entire way to the car, and had been silent for the ride. Shinji had been acutely conscious of the Section 2 agent driving the car and had bit down on the urge to ask Asuka if she was alright. He knew damn well she wasn't, but it was all he could think of to say. The awareness that anything he said would be overheard and probably reported to Commander Ikari stung.

Halfway through the drive he'd been unable to stand watching Asuka suffer and not do anything. He'd quietly slid his hand over to hers where it lay listlessly on the back seat of the car. He'd carefully taken her hand, hoping this small gesture of support would be missed by the driver.

Asuka had seized his hand like it was a lifeline, clamping his hand with a nearly-desperate grip. Her eyes had drifted towards his, the first sign of life she'd shown in twenty minutes. She'd given him the tiniest nod and flicked her eyes to the driver. He'd nodded back, understanding. _'We can't talk until we're home, right,'_ he'd thought. _'Thank goodness, she's not... gone or something. She's still there.'_

The driver didn't even speak as he pulled up to the entryway to their apartment building. He just stopped the car and looked at them. Shinji gave him a equally flat look and helped Asuka out of the car. Shinji didn't bother waiting or looking back as he led Asuka to the elevator.

As soon as they were inside Misato's apartment, Asuka wrapped herself around him. Her body was vibrating with tension like a coiled spring. "This is not the homecoming I spent the last two days thinking about, Shinji, but I'm very fucking glad you're here with me, because I'm about five seconds from completely _losing my shit_."

Shinji rubbed the parts of her back that he could reach around her plugsuit's life support pack and tried to think of something helpful to say. "I have never hated him so much."

Asuka pulled back far enough to look him in the face. "'You're just like me'," she quoted with a weak smile. It quickly collapsed. "But... not this time. I know you never wanted to be a Pilot, or even heard of it at all before you arrived here... but being a Pilot has been my entire _life_ since I was four years old. What's left of me if you take that away?" she asked morosely.

"You're still the stunningly beautiful girl I'm in love with, the brilliant genius who finished a college degree before she was 14, and the fearless warrior who defeated alien monsters out of nightmare time after time," Shinji said firmly. "My_ father_," Shinji spat the words, "Can't take any of that away from you. There's a lot more to you than just being a Pilot, Asuka. Even without that, you're still the most vibrant, alive, wonderful person I know. And we've still got each other. 'Together, forever and always,' I promised you. Nothing says we have to be Eva Pilots for that."

Another weak smile momentarily occupied Asuka's expression, but it just as quickly faded. "Unit-02 has always been there for me. It was like my last real connection to my mother. I can't... I can't even think of not having that anymore. I... Gott, Shinji, if I didn't have you to help hold me together right now, I don't know what I'd do. I'd just... I'd be so empty, I'd just lay down and wait to die."

He hugged her tighter. "You've got me. I've got you. I need you just as bad. Without you, I'd... I'd be the same aimless nothing-nobody I was before I came to Tokyo-3. You make me stronger. I never wanted to be a Pilot, true, but... now I kind of do, because that means I can be there with you and fight beside you. I don't care what happens to me as long as I can stay with you. You said you don't want to go into battle without me, right?"

That got Asuka to raise one corner of her mouth. "No, I don't," she said. "I don't want to face any fight without you and..." Her eyes widened. "Rei! Oh _shit_! If this really goes through, that means she's going into the next fight _alone_, with just automated Evas backing her up! She... we can't let her face that by herself! I mean, I don't hate Wondergirl the way I used to, but it's just being honest to say she's half the Eva fighter either of us is!"

Shinji looked even more upset than before. "We'll have to talk to her when she gets home too. Maybe she'll know what the Hell's been going on while we were locked up." His lips pressed into a tight line. "We'll back her up, however we can. She's still our friend. I don't know what we can do, but as long as I can do anything about it I won't let anything hurt you or her. You both mean too much to me."

She squeezed him tight. "Thank you, Shinji." She laid her head on his shoulder for a second, but then recoiled. "Ugh! You stink! I stink, and feel disgusting. Two days of stewing in drying LCL and our own funk is not a good smell. I feel like a used tampon." She released him from her embrace and pulled him towards the bathroom. "We should have some time before Misato gets home. This may not be the homecoming I envisioned, but we can at least get one part of it. Come on, my sweet baka. You and I have a date with a long hot shower."

XXXXXX

"Doctor Akagi has recovered enough from her injuries that I have ordered her to begin a preliminary examination of the former 13th Angel. Unit-03 was recovered largely intact apart from combat damage to the armor, and we estimate full repairs can be completed in just a few days. Basic restoration has already been done while we examined the Angel's Core," Commander Ikari reported to the circle of holographic monoliths around him. "There has been no physical sign of the Pilot. The Eva's Core is damaged, Doctor Akagi has detected distinctive activity in it that has led her to conclude the Pilot may have been absorbed in a manner similar to the Contact Experiment incidents that befell..."

Gendo paused minutely. Only people who knew him very well could have detected the tiny hesitation, the first sign of human feeling Commander Ikari had shown. "...Doctor Ikari and Doctor Soryu. Despite the damage to the Eva's Core, she believes it may be worthwhile to attempt a recovery procedure."

"Do you think that's wise, Ikari?" Asked SEELE-03. "You have detected no further activity in the Angel's Core, but what about Angelic contamination of the Eva's Core? It had full control of the body, and now you say the damage to the Eva' Core shows signs of it _regenerating_, and that the Angel's S2 Organ is still intact! There is too great a danger of the Eva fully awakening!"

"Indeed, you are fortunate it was not Unit-01 that came into possession of an S2 Organ. An Eva of Lilith's flesh that acquired a Fruit of Life would be a being entirely too dangerous to be left in NERV's hands. One might think you were up to something, Ikari," SEELE-11 added darkly.

Gendo's face betrayed nothing. "Unit-03 has remained in cold shutdown since the end of the battle. As required, it has been placed under a freeze in the Geofront cages while repairs and examination have been performed. It will remain under the freeze until..."

"It will remain under freeze only so long as required for you to arrange its transportation to NERV-3 in Berlin If the S2 Organ is intact and functional as you describe it, it will be invaluable in our efforts to produce our own for the rest of the Eva Series," SEELE-04 interrupted.

"Doctor Akagi is the premier expert after myself on the existing procedures to attempt a recover of the Pilot. Unit-03 should remain in Tokoy-3 until after we have made that attempt," Gendo calmly rebutted.

"_If_ we decide to permit such an attempt," SEELE-06 corrected. "The danger of Angelic contamination of the Pilot even if successful, or the possibility of reviving the Angel itself is too high to let you do this without our carefully examining the procedure's risks and approving it first. Do not overstep your authority, Ikari."

Gendo remained unruffled, flatly maintaining his stare over his folded hands at the monolith marked SEELE-01. "The 13th Angel is dead. There is no indication in the Dead Sea Scrolls about any Angel reviving. Once the 14th Angel has appeared, that will confirm it. The time of the final release draws near. The Scenario proceeds according to plan."

"See that it does, Ikari," grated the voice of Lorenz Kihl. The circle of monolith's faded away.

As the lights slowly came back on in the conference room they revealed Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki standing a short distance behind Commander Ikari. "They did not even mention your dismissal of the Second and Third Children. Interesting."

Gendo stood from his desk and turned for the door. "They know as well as I do how the Children are essentially irrelevant in this whole matter. And I am sure they are developing their own Dummy Plug program to control any future Eva Units. They are not even bothering with the pretense of the MArduk Institute. There is no time left for them to bother with such façades."

"Four more Angels," Fuyutsuki mused. "At the rate they've been appearing, we could be on the threshold of Instrumentality in a few months at most."

"Mankind has no time left," Gendo agreed. "Soon, all out work will be rewarded."

XXXXXX

Peeling each other out of their reeking plugsuits and getting clean had indeed been a lot less frisky than Shinji would have expected after two days of celibacy and being kept apart from each other. Asuka had mostly just held him as they washed, looking more for reassurance and affection than anything more intense. Her face had grown longer as they quietly cleaned off all the dried LCL and sweat. Even Shinji's best efforts at massaging her back and shoulders had only briefly lightened her expression.

Shinji briefly puzzled over what to do with their discarded plugsuits as Asuka dried off. They'd always just turned them in at NERV and gotten a clean or new one in a plastic sleeve in their lockers later. It's not like he thought he could wash the rubbery suits with their attached life support gear in the laundry here. Shrugging, he'd put them into plastic bags to keep the smell down, tied them off, and left them by the door. Misato-san could tell them what to do with them later.

Seating a listless Second Child at the dining table, he'd made them a late lunch. They'd settled in to eat facing each other, holding hands across the table. They'd both felt a strong need for constant contact, like they were making up for two days of isolation. As much as they both wanted to collapse into bed and hold each other more closely, they knew Misato would arrive at any point, and at the table all they had to do was break their handclasp to appear as Misato expected them.

Eventually they heard the door beep and hiss open. Shinji's jaw dropped as Misato came around the corner from the entrance hallway. Their guardian's head was wrapped around with a broad band of bandages, as was her left arm, which also had a sling supporting it. Her face was still bruised and she looked incredibly tired. Her face brightened a bit as she saw they Children at the table. "I'm home," she said with a tired smile.

"W-welcome home, Misato-san!" Shinji finally stammered in reply. He worriedly eyed her injuries. "Are... are you alright?"

She waved her free hand. "I'll heal. We're all still alive, so we'll get better." A weak smile played on her lips. "Give me an eye patch and I'd look like Rei when you showed up, huh, Shinji?" She looked at the two downcast teens. "How are you two?"

"Commander Ikari thinks he doesn't need our 'insubordinate' behinds in an Entry Plug," Asuka growled. "He told us we're not Eva Pilots anymore. What the Hell is going on, Misato?!"

Misato looked even more tired. "I just was informed of that as I was leaving. I don't know, Asuka. This is crazy."

"What about Rei and Hikari? How are they? We haven't heard anything since the end of the battle thanks to being locked up. Are they alright, Misato-san?" Shinji asked.

Misato blanched. "Um... Rei is fine. She's... been asking about you two. I think she's worried. Hikari..." Misato took a deep breath. "She's... MIA."

XXXXXX

Shinji stared numbly at Asuka. This was one blow too many. All they'd done to save her, all the punishment they'd faced from Commander Ikari for 'insubordination', it had all been worth it, all justified because they'd won the day and saved Hikari.

And now... they'd failed. Hikari was... gone? Missing? ...Dead?

"No... she can't be..." Asuka mumbled again.

Misato sat at the third side of the table, looking as downcast as the ex-Pilots. "Ritsuko is... well, like I said, she thinks there's at least some things they can _try_ to get her out of there. She... it doesn't mean she's gone for good, Asuka. I trust Ritsuko's expertise."

Shinji looked at Asuka and tried to stop his hand from clenching over and over. He wanted so badly to go over to her side of the table and put his arms around her. She looked utterly forlorn, and badly in need of a hug. But he couldn't do anything, not with Misato sitting right there. And he could just tell Misato would be concerned enough about them she'd keep a close eye on them tonight. It would probably be hours before he and his love would have any time alone together. Hours before he could hold her and help her bear this. The knowledge that if he did go over and hold Asuka, it might be the last time they got to do that for a long time was all that stopped him.

He had to do _something_. If he just sat here staring at her he'd very quickly reach a point where he wouldn't be able to _stop_ himself from going over to hold her. That would be just a little too much of a break in their masquerade. He pushed his chair back and headed to the refrigerator. He put a Yebisu beer down in front of Misato, eyed her broken arm, and picked it back up again to open it for her.

Misato smiled thanks at him and took a long, meditative sip. Shinji took advantage of her distraction to squeeze Asuka's shoulder as he put her soda down in front of her. She nodded minutely and mouthed 'I know' to him. He sat back down at his spot and tried to think of anything else he could say or do. Seeing Asuka in this kind of pain and not being able to do anything about it was nearly torture. His own feelings of self-hatred for failing to save his friend were just added on top.

_'Damn it... this is like being back to before we were together. Just staring at each other, not talking, everyone just hurting and not doing anything about it. I hate it.'_ "Misato-san, what... what are we supposed to do now? I don't... I don't want to just go back to living with my sensei. I don't want to leave here at all. This is where all my friends are. Asuka too. I don't think she wants to go back to Germany like this." He looked over at her, and received a confirmatory nod.

Misato shook her head. "I... I don't know just yet, Shinji-kun. I can't really believe Commander Ikari is going to just permanently dump his two best Pilots for one incident. So yes, you both should just stay here for now, at least until we figure out what the Hell is going on here. I don't want you two to leave either. I'd miss our weird little family." She flashed a tired smile again. "Pen Pen would miss your cooking, too."

Misato took another drink of her beer and leaned back. "Tomorrow's Saturday. You two just stay here. Rei-chan and I, er... are supposed to go in for some kind of tests related to this new 'Dummy Plug' system. I'm going to talk to Rits about this procedure she wants to try for getting Hikari-chan out of the Eva's Core. I'll let you know what I can find out."

Asuka nodded, still staring down at the table. Shinji could almost watch her spirits sinking. They'd all been supposed to go in tomorrow for a Synch Test. Asuka had been quietly eager to see how Hikari stacked up against them. She'd been looking forward to having another thing in common with her friend, as well as something to compete over and be the best at.

She abruptly stood up. "I'm going to lie down in... my room. Call me when it's time for dinner."

Watching her walk off, Shinji fought to keep the pain off his face. He could hear the 'our room' Asuka had nearly said. He'd never regretted their charade as much as now. She needed him and he couldn't go to her...

He watched Asuka's leaving long enough for Misato to notice. "You're going to have to tell her you like her one of these days, Shin-chan," she said quietly, a faint hint of more cheerful tones creeping into her voice. "She could use the pick-me-up right now, I think."

_'You have no idea, Misato-san, and right now I almost wish you did.'_ He shook his head. "Today is... not the kind of day for it, Misato-san. I wouldn't want a day like today to be the one I got a confession on, either."

Misato gave him a wry smile, and acknowledged the point with a tip of her can. "Mmm, true, but a 'confession', Shin-chan? Oh my! So serious! I-" She was interrupted from further teasing by the doorbell. She looked at him. "Shinji, would you mind?"

He nodded, and went to open the door. He tried to smile when their visitor turned out to be Rei, but he couldn't do it. Rei merely nodded greetings and stepped inside.

"Hello, Shinji. Are Major Katsuragi and Asuka home as well?" She looked down the hall.

"Yes. Misato-san is in the dining area, and Asuka just went to o- um, her room. She's... very upset about Horaki-san and being taken off Piloting."

Rei looked back at him and nodded. "Then I will be quick. We do not want Major Katsuragi to see us." She suddenly closed the gap between them and hugged him.

Shinji jerked slightly in surprise at the sudden contact. Rei merely squeezed him once and let go. He gave Rei a confused look.

"I was... lonely and worried for the last two days. You two are my closest friends, and I have determined I do not like being lonely. Commander Ikari would not elaborate on the whereabouts or condition of you or Asuka. And I just learned of your dismissal as Eva Pilots. I desired a hug to both express my pleasure and relief at seeing you again and concern for your emotional status after being dismissed. My experiments have established that hugs are excellent methods for accomplishing this. I have also developed a strong preference for them and a desire to perform them often with friends," she explained. "I am glad you are alright. I will now go express similar relief to Asuka, after establishing a plausible reason to Major Katsuragi as to the purpose of my visit."

"Um, thank you, Rei. I'm very glad to see you too. Commander Ikari did not fire you too?"

Rei shook her head. "He merely expressed disappointment that I did not follow his orders as promptly and exactly as he desired, and that I allowed you to distract me."

Shinji frowned. _'Why the difference? Was it just because Rei didn't speak up about it?'_ He paused. "If you're going to Asuka's room, can you give her something from me?"

Rei tilted her head minutely. "Yes. How may I help?"

It was her turn to blink in surprise as Shinji hugged her back. He smiled sadly as he released her. "Tell her that's from me, and I'm sorry I can't be there with her right now. And tell her I'm going to do the only thing I can think of for her before bedtime."

Rei actually had a slight blush on her cheeks. "I- I shall." She followed Shinji to the dining area.

"Ah, hello, Rei-chan," Misato greeted her. She'd somehow acquired a second beer while Shinji was answering the door. "Come to join the non-party? You're not going to find a lot of smiles here tonight, I'm afraid."

"Good evening, Major Katsuragi. I have come to see my friends after their confinement and verify that they are alright. Commander Ikari was not forthcoming with information on their welfare, so I was concerned. Also, as I live next door now, it would be strange not to see my friends. If you will excuse me, I will speak to Pilot Soryu now." Rei bobbed a tiny bow, and headed for Asuka's room.

Misato shot Shinji a slanted smile as Rei left. "Rei was worried about you two the whole time. She was almost frantic, for her, which means she was _almost_ noticeably worried for a regular person. Glad to see Ritsuko's little Pilot-togetherness project worked out."

Shinji shrugged. "It was... worth our time, I think, Misato-san." We're really a much better team than before." He headed for his own room. I'm going to play my cello a little before starting dinner, if you don't mind."

Misato waved her can at him. "I don't mind at all, Shin-chan. It's been too quiet and dull around here without you all the last couple of days. Go right ahead."

XXXXXX

Asuka looked up in brief hope from where she lay sprawled on her bed when she heard the tap at her door, but quickly realized it couldn't be Shinji. Even if he'd somehow made up a decent excuse to Misato why he'd suddenly decided to visit the Red Demon in her lair, he wouldn't have bothered knocking on what was nearly his room too these days. So it was probably Misato. "Come in," she said dully.

She brightened a tiny bit when it proved to be the First Child instead. "Hi, Rei. Wish I could say I'm happy to see you, but today's kind of been one big pile of shit."

"I am pleased to see you, Asuka. I have been alone and worried for you and Shinji since the battle. I… do not like being alone anymore. So I am happy to see you and Shinji again," Rei said softly.

Asuka dropped her head back into her arms. "I hope we can see Hikari again. I thought we'd saved her. That would have made even getting fired from being a Pilot worth it. Now…"

"Doctor Akagi believes she might still retrieve Hikari from the Eva."

"And she could be wrong. What if Hikari's dead and it's my fault for screwing up? I get my best friend killed, I get fired from the job I've had my whole life, I get replaced by a program, I'm _fucking useless_…" Asuka pinched her eyes shut and fought down tears.

She nearly gasped as she felt Rei put her arms around her. "I am happy to see you, Asuka. I missed my friends. You are not useless. You have saved me from drugged stupor. You fought superbly and defeated the Angel even though you had only one arm left. You saved many lives by stopping it so quickly."

"But we failed Hikari! I failed my best friend! And now I'm not even a Pilot anymore! What good am I?" Asuka nearly wailed.

Rei released the hug and stepped back. Asuka suddenly missed it. The embrace had been comforting somehow.

"And this one is from Shinji," Rei said, and hugged her again. "He asked me to give this to you, because he could not be here. And to tell you that he is 'going to do the only thing he can think of for you before bedtime'."

Asuka hugged Rei back. "Thank you. So what was my dearest baka going to do?"

"He did not say, but…" Rei trailed off as the deep, mellow notes of Shinji's cello began to fill the apartment. "Ah. That is…"

"Bach's Cello Suite No. 1," Asuka said, a more relaxed look spreading on her face. The piece he was playing the night we had our first kiss." Asuka managed a tiny smile. "That baka. He always finds a way. I love him, Rei. He's the only part of my life that's _not_ falling apart right now. He always makes me feel better." Asuka let herself relax into Rei's hug. "I don't know what I'd do without him anymore, Rei."

"I remain highly envious. If you were not my friend, I would possibly be like Tanaka-san, and desire to have Shinji for myself." She paused and looked thoughtful. "He is excellent to hug."

Asuka's expression almost made it to a normal smile. "Aww, I'm glad you're my friend too, Rei. I'd hate to have to kill you for trying." Her smile faded back into gloom. "Good luck tomorrow, Rei. I wish I could be there to beat you again."

"I wish so too. I would far prefer you and Shinji at my side in battle rather than Dummy Plug copies of me."

"Copies of you?" Asuka tilted her head. "What?"

"The core of the Dummy Plug system is something Doctor Akagi created using scans of my brain."

"Hmmph. Her. Who knows if they'll even work, then?"

"She is quite skilled, Asuka. And I doubt Commander Ikari would have done this if he was not certain of their functionality. Yet I would still rather have you and Shinji there."

"That's good to hear, Rei, but it's Commander Asshole who makes the call. Have you ever seen anything make him change his mind and reverse himself?"

Rei was silent for an awkwardly long time. "No, I have not."

Asuka's spirits sank again. "That's what I was afraid of. It'll take some kind of miracle to get us back in an Entry Plug."

"I remain hopeful. We have done more impossible things."

Arms still around each other, the First and Second Children let the sounds of Bach bring them what peace they could.

XXXXXX

Asuka rolled over once again to stare at the clock. 10:32 pm, the glowing red numbers proclaimed. Exactly four minutes since the last time she checked.

"That's it. I can't stand this any longer," she whispered to herself. She hadn't heard any sound from their guardian for at least half an hour. The coast was as clear as it was going to get.

Rising from her bed, she tugged on an oversized shirt and tip-toed to her door, opening it as quietly as she could. She carefully stuck her head out into the hallway, looking right towards the living room. The door to Misato's room was closed, and no light showed through the sliding panels.

_'If she appears, I'll just claim I'm going to the bathroom or something. Alright, go!' _Asuka slid her own door closed behind her and silently stepped across the hall to Shinji's door. She had to stifle a gasp and jerk her hand back when the door suddenly opened before her reaching fingers even touched it.

Shinji's surprised eyes met her own. The Third Child had been on his way to her at the same moment. His surprise rapidly shifted to a warm smile. "Got tired of waiting thirty seconds before I did, hmm?" he whispered.

Asuka stuck her tongue out at him. "Your place or mine, baka-Shinji? You know I can't sleep without you next to me, anymore. Now come on, our bed is too big and cold without you to warm me up." She seized his hand with unconcealed relief and pulled him back to their room.

Moments later they were burrowed back under the sheets and wrapped up in each other's arms. Asuka tried to let some of her tension go, but her worries barely retreated. Shinji's absences was the biggest, but not the only reason she'd been unable to sleep. "Shinji... what do we do now?"

Shinji just held her for a long minute. "I don't know. It's almost funny. I never wanted to be a Pilot, now I want to be back in an Eva just to spite my father. I want to fight beside you again, our way, and win, just to rub it in his face. I want to be a Pilot again because I know you do too, and I won't leave your side for anything. I can't run away. But... I don't know what we can do right now to change any of this. We stay with Misato-san and hope they can get Horaki-san out of the Eva, I guess." He buried his face in Asuka's hair. "We help Rei however we can. Keep her from feeling lonely and help her be the best Pilot she can. I don't think any automates system can possibly be as good at fighting Angels as you."

"You've still got one more solo kill than I do, Third Child. There's another reason we need to get our Evas back: I still need to beat your count." Asuka tried to smile, but it quickly collapsed. "We have to. I... Gott, I hate thinking of what's going to happen on Monday, when word gets around at school that we've been fired. I just... I can't stand the idea of Tanaka and those other bitches sneering at me, laughing at us for being failures..."

"Maybe it will get her to stop trying to ask me out?" Shinji offered.

"First good thing I've heard about it so far," Asuka replied. "But it won't work. They aren't after you _just_ because you are... _were_ an Eva Pilot. They won't shut up about how you're cute, sensitive, heroic, courageous, a good cook, a model gentleman, and such an incredible lover you've got me and Rei under your spell at the same time. You not being in an Eva is just going to spell 'more free time to ask him out' to them."

Shinji shook his head in disbelief. "They think I'm all that? I'm... I'm not anything like that," he said.

Asuka squeezed him tight. "Bullshit you're not, baka. Except for that part about Rei, it's all 100% true. I say so."

"Asuka, I'm-"

"Who's the genius here?"

"...you."

"And I say you're amazing. So there. And you're mine. You're the only thing that's making me feel better right now, Shinji. I hope you can come up with something to keep my mind off it tomorrow."

Shinji got a funny, cocky smile. "You want to go out on a date?"

Asuka stared at him in surprise. "...what?"

"I'm asking you out. We haven't been able to this whole time since we're trying to keep it a secret, but tomorrow we've got no school, Misato and Rei are going to be at NERV HQ all day, and Section 2 just gave us the boot. No one's going to be watching us. So I want to take you, Asuka Langely Soryu, my impossibly beautiful girlfriend, out on a real date."

"Are you nuts?"

"Making you happy is the most important thing in the world to me now. I hate seeing you this down. And I've wanted to ask you out since the night you kissed me. So how about we go out for lunch tomorrow?"'

"...you baka."

There was no more talking.


	15. Ch 14 - United We Stand Pt 2

Chapter 7.2

United We Stand

.

.

Shinji blinked slowly awake, and tried to figure out why. He didn't want to move just yet. He was comfortably cuddled up against Asuka's back, his arm thrown loosely over her side to hold her. His slowly opening eyes saw nothing but the red-orange blur of the back of Asuka's head. It was just after dawn, judging by the wan, grey light filtering in past the vanes of the blinds in the window. It was only a little earlier than he'd usually get up anyhow, but something had woken him. What was it...

His eyes popped wide open. Footsteps. There were footsteps in the living room. Someone was already awake and _headed their way._ They were going to be _caught_! Once they had the hallway in view, there was not even any way for him to make it back across to his 'own' room!

The footsteps were slowly coming closer. They didn't have long. He shook Asuka's shoulder. "Asuka! Wake up!" he hissed urgently.

"Mmm? Wha? Nn... good morning, Shinji." She smiled dreamily as she rolled over and blinked at him. "What'd you wake me up for? You usually-"

"Someone's here!" he rolled out of bed and desperately hunted around for his shirt and shorts.

"Someone's he-" Asuka suddenly blinked to full wakefulness. "Oh _scheisse_!" She likewise sprang out of bed and grabbed for her oversized shirt, her face a study in panic and anguish.

They both froze in terror as the footsteps stopped at their door. Shinji had managed to find his clothes, but neither of them had managed to put anything on. They were dead. _'But I don't want to stop!'_ the back of Shinji's mind wailed.

There wasn't even a pause for a knock. The door simply slid open...

...to reveal a perfectly calm Rei Ayanami. "Good morning, Shinji, Asuka."

Rei didn't move as Asuka's shirt plastered itself across her face.

"Gott _damn_ it, Wondergirl! You nearly gave us a heart attack! We thought you were Misato!" Asuka snarled. She sagged back onto the bed in relief. "And didn't anyone ever teach you to knock? It's slightly impolite to walk in on people when they're naked!"

"No one ever taught me that, no," Rei calmly replied as she pulled the shirt off her face, stepping into the room to hand it back to Asuka. "And I do not understand what your nudity has to do with it. I expected to find you both like this. I sleep naked too. Clothing just gets in the way of comfort, does it not?"

This time Asuka threw the shirt at Shinji's head. The Third Child had frozen in place with his shorts half on. "Stop thinking about Wondergirl naked, baka, and get to your room and get dressed before the noise wakes Misato." She made shooing motions at him.

"I can't help it!" Shinji hissed back. "She just said it!" He headed for the door anyhow.

Asuka yanked open another drawer and pulled out a new shirt. "And you stop ogling my boyfriend's body! I don't care if he's... ahem! 'Easy to watch'!"

"But Shinji is so nice to look at," Rei said, a tiny hint of amusement in her voice. Her eyes stayed locked on Shinji as he bolted to his old room and shot inside, a faint smile on her lips.

Once the door closed behind him Asuka finally let herself relax. Now even if the noise woke Misato, they had plausible deniability. She pulled the shirt over her head and searched another drawer for a pair of shorts. She glared over her shoulder at Rei. "That is perfectly true, and so is the fact that he's mine and _not for rent_. And just _why_ did you feel the need to come in unannounced and this early and nearly give me and Shinji heart failure?"

Rei's small smile faded and she shifted from foot to foot awkwardly. She suddenly had difficulty looking Asuka in the eye. "I... am... nervous."

Asuka put her A-10 headset on and started tying her hair into the clips at the back. "You're what? What are you talking about, Rei? This is just a Synch Test. You've done them like a hundred times."

"One hundred forty seven times. But... I am not worried about the Synch Test. This will be the first time I have been at NERV HQ all day long without you or Shinji with me since... I stopped taking the drugs. I am... worried that without you around, my altered behavior might be noticed. I... I do not wish to be discovered."

Asuka left off styling her hair to stare at the First Child. This was weird. "And... well, I don't know what you think we can do from here, Rei. We... we're not even allowed back in the Geofront, I think." Asuka's face grew long. She'd momentarily managed to forget yesterday's humiliation, waking up warm and happy with Shinji. Now it all came rushing back in. Shit. She wasn't a Pilot anymore. She was nothing.

"I... I have never... I do not want to go back, Asuka. I... I am... afraid. I... have never been afraid before. I do not like it."

Rei being... afraid? Asuka had no idea how to handle this. Well, maybe. A degree of rage was bubbling up. She hated Commander Ikari and Doctor Akagi more every day. "Gott damn, Wondergirl. Those drugs must have really been messing you up if you've never been afraid before."

Rei fidgeted nervously with her hands. "May... may I have another hug?"

The sheer frightened-kitten cuteness coming off Rei almost made Asuka's eyes cross. "What."

"Hugs from you and Shinji are... reassuring. I like them very much. I understand there are complicating factors of jealousy and your worries that Shinji might find other girls more attractive than you which make it difficult for you to feel comfortable allowing me to hug him, but he's very cute and I like you both a lot and-" Rei babbled.

"Wait wait wait, hold it! Rei, stop!" Asuka put her hands on the bluenette's shoulders. "Calm down." _'And stop making me worry about ever losing Shinji to anyone like that, because the last thing I think we need right now is __**both **__of us freaking out like this.'_ "Is that why you're walking into our room at... what time is it?"

"0633."

"At way too damn early? Because... you're scared and want a hug?"

Rei nodded, looking pitiful.

Asuka rubbed the sides of her head. It was way too damn early to deal with this kind of insanity. "You're lucky you're my friend, Wondergirl. Anyone else costing me Shinji-cuddling time would get a punch in the head. You get a hug. Come here."

XXX

Asuka picked at her remaining breakfast, tracing random patterns in the crumbs from her toast. Breakfast had been delicious, of course (Having a live-in boyfriend who was also a budding gourmet chef was a perk Asuka happily and daily took advantage of.), but this morning she'd barely tasted it.

The quiet of the apartment was giving her too much time to think. Misato had been a little surprised to see the Children already up and working on breakfast together when the noise finally roused her, but she'd merely thanked Rei for being ready to go so early. They'd seen Rei and Misato off earlier, with some more clandestine hugs for the First Child when Misato wasn't looking. Asuka had even consented to Rei being allowed to get a few from Shinji, once Rei had turned her best puppy-dog-eyes on the redhead.

But once they'd left, silence had settled in, despite Shinji's best efforts to keep a conversation going. Watching Rei and Misato leave for a Synch Test she and Shinji were no longer allowed to partake in had snuffed out the last of Asuka's brighter mood from last night. Though she'd felt an odd lift at Rei's plaintive request for emotional support, it was true. The idea that someone needed her just for being _her_, and not because she was an elite Eva Pilot was new.

That thought had buoyed her up a little, remembering she now had friends and a lover who wanted and loved Asuka, rather than Pilot Soryu. But 'friends who need me' had just circled her back around to the friend she'd failed and her mood sank once again. _'But what else could I have done?! __**Not**__ try to save Hikari? I couldn't just stand there!'_ she argued back at the depression. Nothing seemed to help. She knew it was probably irrational to blame herself for Hikari's... missing status, but her gut refused to listen.

Shinji finished clearing the rest of the breakfast dishes and began circling her like a nervous satellite. She could see his own expression growing tense and worried as he saw her mood dropping. "Ne, Asuka, when we go out, do you want to-"

He was prevented from finishing the question by the doorbell. They looked at each other in puzzlement. It was just past 7:30 in the morning. Who would be coming to see them right now?

Shinji gave her one last embrace around her shoulders before going to answer the door. He returned a moment later with Touji following on his heels. Shinji's face now matched Asuka's own. _'And now his friend that he failed comes to look him in the face. Damn it. I'm sorry, Touji.'_

The tall jock was almost twitching with nerves and more worried than she'd ever seen him. "H... hi, Soryu-san. I'm sorry to come over so early, but Ayanami-san mentioned yesterday at school you were going to be let out of confinement, and I saw Misato-san's car go by without you two in it, and figured you might still be here." He fixed the two of them with a pleading look. "Wh-... where's Hikari? Please, can you tell me _anything?_ No one's said anything at all to us, just 'classified', and I haven't been able to get a hold of her since she left and her family doesn't know either and I'm really really worried about her and I don't know what to do and... and... and..." He was on the verge of tears.

Asuka shot a look at Shinji. He was standing awkwardly next to Touji, easily able to see his friend's distress, but just as clearly paralyzed from doing anything about it by his cultural conditioning. _'Gott damn all Japanese 'no-touching' taboos.'_ She cleared her throat at Shinji. He blinked and looked at her. She meaningfully jerked her head at Touji, who was clearly about to break down. When Shinji still hesitated, she sharpened her look into a pointed glare that threatened fearsome measures if he didn't get moving.

Hesitantly, Shinji laid his hand on Touji's shoulder. "H-hey, Touji, we're... we're here. Sit down. We'll... we'll tell you what we know. It's not much."

Touji nodded shakily and stumbled into another of the chairs at the table.

Asuka took a deep breath. "Hikari is... missing in action."

Touji stared at her in total incomprehension. "What does that even mean?! Where is she?" he wailed.

Shinji pulled out the chair next to Asuka, facing Touji, and sighed as he sat down. "Let's start at the beginning."

Shinji led off, Asuka taking up the next part, and then Shinji again. Back and forth, in automatic coordination. The first reports of some kind of accident. The scramble to deploy them near Mount Nobe. Sighting Eva Unit-03 stalking towards them out of the setting sun. Commander Ikari's order that they disregard Hikari's safety and attack to kill immediately. Asuka's refusal. The Angel's attack. Shinji's refusal, impromptu charge, and appeal to Rei to listen to him rather than the Commander. The Angel's infection of Unit-02's arm and Commander Ikari ordering it severed without disconnecting the nerves. Asuka's surprise attack to extract the Entry Plug. Rei taking the Entry Plug to safety. Their synchronized attack to kill the Angel and win the fight.

Touji looked hopeful when they described Asuka's rescue of the plug. Asuka forced herself to keep going with what came next.

Their return to the Geofront and arrest. Days in the cells. Being summoned to the Commander's office only to be chewed out and dismissed as Pilots for 'insubordination'. Their replacement by the 'Dummy Plug' system. Misato's report to them last night that Doctor Akagi has detected signs of activity in the Eva's Core that might mean Hikari was somehow still in there, and her promise that they'd try something to get her out.

Touji looked desperately back and forth between them, looking for a sign of reassurance. "So... so she's... she'll be ok? She's not... " He swallowed and wiped at his eyes. "She's not... gone?"

Asuka and Shinji looked at each other, then back at Touji. "I... don't know," Shinji said. "I wish I could tell you that, Touji, but... I don't know."

XXX

( i . imgur / UlNxPmf .jpg)

XXX

The midday sun was nicely warming the sidewalk cafe downtown, making a very pleasant November day in Tokyo-3. Asuka toyed with the drink that was all that remained of her lunch and waited for Shinji to return from disposing of their trash. She looked at the clouds drifting slowly across the sky and actually smiled, if somewhat weakly.

_'He's doing it. My dear, impossible baka-Shinji is doing it. He's actually managing to make me smile, even today.'_

After Touji had left to see his little sister and relay what they'd told him about Hikari, both Shinji's mood and her own had darkened further. Watching Touji's 'tough jock' attitude utterly crumble into tearful desolation at the idea of losing the girl he'd only recently admitted he loved had been another huge emotional burden added on top of their already grim day, made worse by how little hope they had to give him.

But after the two of them had spent a while sitting on the couch just holding each other in silence, Shinji had stood up and declared they should head out on their date right away. "It's better than sitting here soaking in depression. I know, because I spent too much time doing that before you came, Asuka," he'd said.

So they'd gotten dressed up and headed out. Asuka had been amused when Shinji had stuttered a request she wear the yellow sundress she'd worn aboard the _Over The Rainbow_ when they'd met. He'd confessed it had happy memories associated with it thanks to that meeting, and that she looked amazing in it. She'd nodded and almost laughed at the way his face turned beet red when she said that if the wind gave him another 'show' like then, she wouldn't slap him this time.

He'd taken them to the shopping district downtown, and done his best to treat Asuka like a princess: opening doors, getting her drinks before she even had to voice the request, taking her to any shop she liked, looking at her with shining eyes, and always, always holding her hand. He seemed to grow two centimeters just from walking around in public with her hand in his. She had to admit she felt a little frisson of excitement too. After months of concealing their relationship from everyone, marching around so publicly together felt like something daring, like they were getting away with an audacious prank.

_'Honestly, as long as I just concentrate on enjoying the date and not anything Commander Asshole did, I'm having a pretty good time. It's nice to be out like this, just Asuka and Shinji, not having to pretend to be anything else,' _she mused. _'So what if someone might see us? I want the whole world to know he loves me, anyway. If not for the fact Misato can still prevent us from sleeping together, Pilots or not, I'd be yelling it from the rooftops already.'_

Shinji sat back down across the table from her and beamed. She snorted at the sight. Shinji had spent most of the date smiling from ear to ear. She'd never seen the Third Child smile so much before. "Having a good time, Shinji, or just hoping that it's going to be a windy day?" she teased.

Shinji blushed a little. "Well, I wouldn't say a little wind would be a _bad_ thing..." he smiled. "But mostly I'm just happy, Asuka. I've been dreaming about today forever. My first date... I know it's not yours, but I hope I'm doing as well as they did."

Asuka thought back over the collection of older students, fawning admirers after her body, people she'd gone out with to cement her reputation as the hottest girl in school, and blind dates she'd had like the one Hikari had set her up on, and snorted again. "Waaaaay better, Shinji. None of them managed to make me smile, not for real, much less on a day like today. And all of them would still get a slap for a 'viewing fee'. _You_ would not." She drew idle designs in the condensation rings left on the table from her drink. "...Thank you for doing this, Shinji. I didn't want our first real date to be on a day like this, or something you did to help distract me from... everything, but I'm glad we're here."

He reached across the table to stroke her hand. "Me too, Asuka. I... I have never heard from any of my grandparents. I don't even know if any of them are still alive. I doubt it. You know about my mother. And my father..." He frowned and stared down at the table. "After we beat the 10th Angel, that tiny scrap of praise, 'Good job, Shinji'... that was the most I'd ever gotten from him, and it made my whole day. But now, after the way he treated you... us, for _winning_ against his orders... I can hardly stand to think of him as my father anymore. So that's it; I've got no family." He looked back up at her. "Except here. You, Rei, Misato-san... You guys are my family. And friends like Touji, Kensuke,... Horaki-san. I... even not being a Pilot anymore can't take any of that away. So... even if we never set foot in and Eva again, I wouldn't change any of what got us together, not a bit. I'm happy anyhow."

Asuka felt her cheeks heating a bit. "Careful with the 'family' label, Shinji. It'd be a little funny for 'family' to be doing what we're doing, you and I," she joked to deflect a little.

Shinji just squeezed her hand and smiled. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah. I still want my Eva back. It's been there for me for the last ten years. It... feels like a part of me. I always felt better sitting in it, growing up, like my mother was still with me in a way, since she helped design it."

"I... I guess Eva Unit-01 did feel kind of comforting after a while. It sure didn't at first, thanks to how my first sorties went." Shinji squeezed her hand again. "I really wish you'd been there for those, Asuka. They'd have been a whole lot easier with you fighting by my side."

"As much as I love Wondergirl these days, she's not nearly as good a wingman for you as I am, yeah. You and I are truly _partners_, Third Child. We saw it in the last fight and the ones before it: when you and I are together, we _win_. No matter how fancy these 'Dummy Plugs' are, I'm betting they won't be as powerful as the two of us, and soon enough Commander Asshole is going to see that, or his bosses will." Asuka nodded firmly, looking more like her usual self. She stood up, tugging him upwards too by the hand. "Come on, let's head home. We've got a few more hours of good cuddle time before Misato and Rei get home, and I intend to make use of them."

XXX

Shinji was listening to Asuka's steady stream of upbeat chatter as they approached the door to Misato's apartment, but mostly he was focused on watching his girlfriend's lovely figure as she led the way. Asuka was beautiful all over, and her yellow sundress made it very easy to see she was just as much fun to watch from behind as from the front. It did help that her chatter was mostly about what she wanted him to do to said body once they got into the apartment. It gave him a perfectly valid reason to be staring so appreciatively at her rear. _'I am so incredibly lucky…'_ Another thought occurred to him and he laughed. _'And I'm about to __**get **__lucky, too!'_

Asuka swiped her keycard through the slot and rapidly towed Shinji inside by his hand, still talking nonstop as they walked through the short entrance hallway and into the dining area. She looked back over her shoulder to smile widely at him, her eyes dancing with mirth and anticipatory lust. "And for the _second_ round, I want you to do that thing with your hands on my hips you did in the shower last week. And then that thing with your tongue! Boy, did that clean me out! I'm surprised my legs still held me up after that. That last time was _amazing_. I-"

"'Last time'?" asked a familiar baritone voice from the living room.

They both froze. Asuka's eyes went wide with panic. She slowly turned around.

Ryoji Kaji stood in the doorway, the cigarette in his hand halfway to his mouth totally forgotten as he stared at the two teens. The look of shock on his face was even stronger than Asuka's.

"Oh… scheiße…" Asuka said softly, her heart rate skyrocketing.

XXX

"No."

"Asuka, be reasonable…"

"No."

"You… you're fourteen! Both of you! You can't be doing this at your age!"

"No."

Kaji massaged his temples and kept pacing back and forth on the living room mats. Asuka remained where she'd sat down on the couch with Shinji, one hand unbreakably linked with his, the other clenched into a tight fist in her lap. Her iron-hard, angry glare had stayed locked on her former guardian and crush. Shinji sat right next to her, his position a perfect match for hers. His stare was less angry, but just as firm. It reminded Kaji far too much of Shinji's father, in fact.

He tried again. "Asuka, Katsuragi asked me to stop in and keep an eye on you both since she knew you'd be badly upset by Commander Ikari dismissing you both. And I was prepared to overlook some displays of affection between you two since Shinji told me you are together but still wanted Katsuragi not to know, but this… I can't let you do this. You have to stop!"

"No," Asuka repeated again, adamant.

"I understand you two really like each other, but you're too young for sex. Just wait until you're at least seventeen or so-"

"How likely are we to live to _see_ seventeen, Kaji?" Asuka interrupted acidly. "We are Evangelion Pilots! _Every time we sortie_, we could die! If not for Shinji's last-second rescue, I'd _already_ be dead in that volcano! He could have been fried to a crisp by Ramiel's particle beam! Rei nearly _did_ get fried! We could die _any day_, and you want us to just _hope_ we live long enough to do what I know you and Misato do _every weekend_?!"

Kaji had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. "I'm theoretically a responsible adult who knows what he's doing. You are not," he rebutted. "You two in a relationship is cute, and I fully support you dating, but sex can be massively destabilizing! What happens if your Synch Rates take a hit? I-"

"Our Synch Rates have gone up 27% since we got together," Shinji interrupted quietly. "_Steadily_. Asuka went up four points the day after we got together. I went up _six_."

"Being together keeps us happy and motivated to fight, especially to protect each other," Asuka added. Shinji nodded. "Besides, thanks to Commander Asshole, we're not Pilots anymore. Even if they reinstate us, what Shinji said still applies. Being together makes us _stronger_."

Kaji shook his head. "Still too dangerous. What if you two have a fight? Or a breakup? If-"

"You think this is some childish crush? A hot little fling of hormones that will end when we tire of each other?" Asuka shot back hotly. "Think again. You know what happened to my mother, yes?"

Confused at the sudden change of subject, Kaji nodded. "I know what happened, Asuka. I read your whole file before I became your guardian."

"The same thing happened to Shinji's. He knows what it's like to lose your mother like I did. He knows what it's like to be an Eva Pilot. _He's just like me_. No one else in the world could understand me the way he does or vice versa. From the very first night, Shinji promised me, when he thought I couldn't even hear, 'together, forever and always'. And I've promised him 'until the end of the world, you and me, against Angels and anything else that tries to hurt us.'"

She turned her head to nuzzle Shinji's cheek for a moment, smiling softly. Her expression hardened again when she turned back and resumed glaring at him. "You also know being a Pilot was my _life_, Kaji. It was all I had. Commander Asshole took that away from me for winning without his permission. I'd be a basket case right now without Shinji, just lying somewhere waiting to die. But he's actually made me smile today despite that. So I will not let any man, woman, Angel, or anyone separate us."

"Asuka just making you smile on a bad day is not a justifica-"

"He loves me, Kaji. He's said it right to me," she said calmly. "No one else ever has. Not even you."

Kaji winced. He smoothed his expression back out and said, "It's just words, Asuka. Words are easy to say. They're a lot harder to really mean. How can you possibly know if it's true, and will be for as long as you're talking about?"

"I believe him," Asuka stated with utter conviction.

"Just words," Shinji suddenly said, his voice cold. He fixed Kaji with another harsh stare that made him think of how much Shinji resembled his father. "Just words… have you said them to Misato-san?"

Kaji suddenly couldn't meet his eyes.

Shinji continued. "I love her, Kaji-san. She loves me. Without her I'd be nothing. I won't let anyone or anything separate us either. I… came here because I had hoped my father finally wanted to explain himself to me, the vain hope that he wanted to be my father again, but… all he wanted was a Pilot. So I did that, hoping it would make him talk to me. I never liked it. And now that he's tried to get rid of us like this, I can't really say there's any reason for me to stay here… but…" He smiled and squeezed Asuka's hand. "As long as Asuka wants to be an Eva Pilot, I do too. I will never leave her to fight alone so long as I live."

Kaji sighed and ran his hand over his face. "This… that's good to hear, Shinji-kun, but you're both still too young for a physical relationship like this. I'm going to have to tell…" His eyes went wide. A growing rumble like thunder came in through the open doors out onto the balcony of the apartment, despite the cloudless sky. Artillery. A rising wail of sirens began to fill the air. It was a familiar sound, but never one the Children had heard from this point of view.

The Angel alarm.

XXX

"Get the retractable buildings down and locked immediately! All weapons that can bear on the Angel, open fire! We need the people in the shelters, _now_!" Misato snapped out, orders flying as fast as she could. "How long until we can deploy the Evas?"

"Unit-01 ready to deploy in twenty seconds! Units-00 and -02 starting up under Dummy Plug control, all systems activating normally. They'll be launch ready in one minute!" Lieutenant Hyuga responded.

_'It's a good thing we already had Rei in Unit-01 for this test. We'd never have been able to deploy her in time otherwise. At least she'll be in the only undamaged Eva. Her Synch Rate is lower in Unit-01, but Unit-00 and Unit-02 are both still damaged, and Unit-03 is still on lockdown for possible Angel contamination, plus its own combat damage. Not to mention my two best Pilots are benched and I have to use damned 'Dummy Plugs' instead. This is not looking good.'_ Misato worried. _'How the __**Hell**__ did it get so close before we spotted it?'_

The new Angel floated along with no apparent means of support, meaning it was most likely using it's AT-Field to fly, just like the others. This one resembled a half-melted parody of Pen Pen, featuring a tubby black-and-white penguin-like body with stubby legs, a pair of tiny, flat, metallic squares under bony shoulder plates where the arms should be, and a gape-mouthed mask for a face in the upper chest of its headless torso. For all its almost comical appearance, it was proving horrifically powerful, blasting through the Komagatake defense line with ease, brushing aside their best defenses without even slowing down. It was already so close to Tokyo-03 Rei was going to have to engage it right in the city itself.

"Unit-01, ready to launch!" Lieutenant Hyuga shouted. "Units-00 and -02 in thirty seconds!"

"The Angel has engaged the city defense emplacements and troops! It's firing some kind of-" Lieutenant Ibuki exclaimed just before an immense explosion rocked Central Dogma.

"Weapon Building 9 wiped out! Blast damage penetration of Special Armor Layers One through Eighteen!" she continued.

"Eighteen layers in one shot? They can't take another blast!" Lieutenant Aoba exclaimed.

Misato grit her teeth. They couldn't wait, not even half a minute. "Rei, we have to send you now. The other Evas will follow as soon as possible. You have to stop this thing."

In the comm window, the First Child calmly nodded. "Roger. I am ready."

"Launch Unit-01 immediately! Get Units-00 and -02 up in flanking positions as soon as they are ready!" Misato shouted. "Eva Unit-01, Launch!"


	16. Ch 15 - United We Stand Pt 3

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 7.3

**United We Stand**

XXXXX

Rei Ayanami had always known what she was. It was hard not to, when every moment of your existence you could sense your greater body deep in the Geofront, far below the surface, or feel the AT-Fields of those around you screaming their isolation at each other. She had always known she was not the first, nor likely the last Rei Ayanami to draw breath in the name of Commander Ikari's Scenario. She had always known she was expendable, that she could and would be replaced by another Rei Ayanami should she die in battle with the Angels. And for most of her life, she had looked forward to dying, the final release from the spiritual and emotional agony that was her daily existence.

This had changed.

Her hands did not shake on the control yokes of Unit-01's Entry Plug. Her face had no expression of worry or fear. But she could feel the harsh, electric tingle of the Angel's powerful AT-Field on the surface, even at this depth. She could feel the distinct _lack_ of AT-Fields in the empty Evangelion Units-00 and -02 in the Cages next to Unit-01, where her friends should be. For the first time since Asuka had arrived in Japan, Rei was going into battle without her friends. She was being sent alone.

She did not like it. At all.

She had never had friends, never had anyone she felt the absence of. She had never had people she actively sought out the company of, just to spend more time with them because being around them made her feel warmer, better, wanted. She had never had people she knew without even asking she could rely on in a fight to protect her back and that she in return also wanted to protect.

Now she had friends, and they were not with her.

She had always known she could die and be replaced. It had never bothered her. She had been alone for years. It had never bothered her. She had never had friends. It had never bothered her.

Now it did.

It bothered Rei more than she could even articulate right now. Never before had she felt this unsettled and... even frightened before a battle. The crackling, sizzling feeling of the Angel's AT-Field overhead made it worse. The AT-Field of Ramiel had been stronger, but this Angel felt... harsher, Angrier, like its AT-Field was reaching out to snap and snarl at her.

Rei knew unshakably that she'd feel so much better if it was her friends in the other Evas going into battle with her. Asuka's blazing courage mo matter what the threat, Shinji's determination to protect them all, the sure knowledge that they would fight to protect Rei no less than themselves... because they cared for her.

Major Katsuragi's voice in her ear, telling her they had to launch her immediately, unsupported. The surge of acceleration rocketing her upwards, cushioned by the LCL filling the Entry Plug. The slam of deceleration as she emerged on the streets of Tokyo-3. The sudden prickle against her AT-Field as she felt the Angel turn its attention from blasting away at the city's defenses to stare at her.

Rei Ayanami grit her teeth, unfurled Unit-01's AT-Field, and prepared for battle. The same thought that always went through her head before a fight came again.

_'If I die, I can be replaced...'_

But this time it was different.

_'...but I no longer wish to be.'_

The Angel's eyes glowed for a second before a beam of energy lanced out at her. Rei could feel the power behind it, and dodged out of the way. The beam glanced off Unit-01's AT-Field, deflecting up into the hills above the city. An entire hilltop exploded into a towering cross-shaped blast. Rei grimaced in transmitted pain. Even that glancing blow it felt like a red-hot poker being slashed her face.

_'If I die I will be replaced by a-me-that-is-not-me. I will return to be going numb, drugged puppet. I may forget to my friends and once more be only the Commander's doll. I may forget what it is like to feel their arms around me, or wondering what it is like to be loved as they love each other. I will return to deserving death in Oblivion over the happiness of my friends. I do not wish this.'_

Rei dodged behind a Weapons Building, hoping breaking line of sight would help even if the building's armor proved useless. She grabbed a pair of Pallet Rifles out of the rack that opened for her and sprinted around the other side of the building.

_'If I fail, they will die. They are here in the city. I must not let the battle destroy it. I must not let the Angel reach Terminal Dogma. All Humanity will fall if I am weak. I must not fail.'_

The Angel slowly turned its tubby body to face her, in no apparent hurry. She leveled both rifles at it and squeezed the triggers. 330mm rounds blasted out, tracers drawing a glowing trial in the air between them. The huge shells hammered the Angel with more fury than an entire squadron of battleships could have dished out. The Angel hung in the air, unperturbed at the explosions flaring all over the invisible barrier in front of it. None of them touched its skin.

Rei gripped the controls harder and _pushed_ Unit-01's AT-Field against the Angel's. She could feel them meeting, pressing, but it was like trying to shove a mountain. Her AT-Field was barely eroding the Angel's at all. She could tell from the immense strength of it if she stopped pressing for even a moment it would quickly start eating away at her own, but it was taking all her strength to manage even the negligible offense she was producing. She had to get closer to have any effect, or use stronger weapons.

The Pallet Rifles ran dry without accomplishing anything. The Angel's eyes flashed again and Rei threw herself to the side. The beam missed her by bare meters and vaporized another building behind her with a cross-shaped blast. Rei tossed the rifles aside and dove back for the Weapon Building, grabbing a pair of missile launchers.

Sprinting out from behind the Weapons Building, Rei raised the missile launchers towards where the Angel had been. It was floating closer, shrinking the distance between them. She loosed two missiles at it as she dashed for cover behind a pop-up armor plate.

The missiles detonated harmlessly against the Angel's AT-Field, and attracted its attention away from the defense emplacements still futilely hammering away at it with rockets and artillery. Its eyes glowed again…

Rei felt herself and Unit-01 suddenly flying through the air, tossed by the blast and flung down the street. The shockwave shattered glass all around her. The armor plate, a meters-thick slab of alloys and ceramics that had withstood the twin blasts of Israfel, had melted away in less than a second. Rei shook her head to clear it, rolling Unit-01 back to its feet. She looked down with dismay to see enough of the blast had leaked through to melt a good sized hole in one of her missile launchers. She discarded it and keyed the line to Central Dogma. "Major Katsuragi, the Angel's AT-Field is very strong. I am having difficulty degrading it to any useful degree. I require assistance. How long until Units-00 and -02 arrive?"

"They're launching now, Rei! They'll be on the surface at Catapult Ports 4D and 8K in ten seconds! Reinforcements are on the way, just hang on!"

"Roger." _'Reinforcements… but not my friends. I have never won a battle without them.'_

She darted around another building and brought up the remaining launcher, ripple firing missiles at the Angel until it too ran out. The Angel simply hung in the air, letting the missiles hit… and then struck back. Its eyes flared again and this time Rei had no cover to leap for. She frantically threw all her strength in her AT-Field. The Angel's beam crashed against the throbbing orange octagons that manifested in front of Unit-01. Rei's shield held, but she could feel it buckling. The blast reflected back off her AT-Field, smashing buildings around her into ruin. She staggered back, trying to remember where the next Weapon Building was.

The next blast smashed right through her unprepared defenses, spearing Unit-01 through the left shoulder. Rei screamed, sympathetically feeling her armor splinter and flesh begin to burn. She reeled backwards, staggering behind what cover another pop-up armor plate could offer. She forced herself to pry her hand off her own shoulder. _'It… it is only the Eva. I am not burning. I can still fight. I must fight.'_ The map display showed the next Weapon Building was 500 meters to her left, but there was no cover between where she was and there.

"Major Katsuragi, I need support now. I have no cover to reach the nearest Weapon Building with more equipment."

The Major's voice was very welcome. "Units-00 and -02 arriving now! They'll give you cover fire as soon as they arm up!"

"Roger." Rei gathered herself for another desperate sprint.

On the far side of the Angel, two giant hatches in the streets opened up. Blue and red titans erupted from below, ready to fight the Angel. It turned to face the new threats and Rei took off running.

XXX

Shinji gripped the metal beam topping the rim of the balcony so hard he was vaguely surprised his fingers weren't dimpling the metal. His other hand remained locked with Asuka's. Her hand was gripping back just as hard. They'd risen together and sprinted for the apartment's balcony without a word once the Angel alarm had sounded, Kaji trailing behind.

"We have to get out of here, kids. We need to head for a shelter right away. This building isn't armored or retractable," Kaji warned them.

That got him and Asuka to briefly look at each other. Honestly, they had no idea where to go. _''Evacuation drills? What are you, stupid?! That doesn't have anything to do with us! We're Pilots! In case an Angel attacks, sitting on our butts in a shelter is the __**last**__ place we should be! Baka!''_ Asuka had ranted at him once, back when a drill was announced at school. She'd smacked him on the back of the head for starting to rise and follow the other students.

"There!" Asuka suddenly pointed southeast, at the opposite rim of the city. The black and white bulk of the Angel was already drawing fire from the city's defenses. "We don't need to evacuate yet, Kaji! It's on the far side of the city from us, and it will be going for the Geofront, not here. They all do. We have to stay and watch, because… because…" She trailed off and looked helplessly at Shinji, searching for words.

'_Because that's all we __**can**__ do for Rei right now,' _Shinji mentally finished.

Shinji found it disorienting to watch Unit-01 rise up from the ground and go into combat without him at the controls. He briefly wondered if Asuka would feel the same way watching Unit-02, then realized of course she would. More so, if anything; He'd been the Pilot of Unit-01 for less than a year. Asuka had been with Unit-02 most of her life. Asuka's breathing sped up just like his own as they watched Rei dodge the first energy beams from the Angel. Asuka began muttering Come on, Rei, come on, Rei…" under her breath.

She cheered as Rei appeared from behind the Weapons Building with a pair of Pallet Rifles and opened fire. They groaned in stereo when the Angel ignored the torrent of fire and lashed out at Unit-01 with another beam. Asuka cried out when the Angel's blast tossed Unit-01 through the air. Shinji winced in remembered pain as another beam blasted through Unit-01's shoulder.

They both relaxed a fraction when Units-00 and -02 finally rose up from below to join Rei_. 'At least now she won't fight totally alone,'_ Shinji thought with some relief.

XXX

Unit-00 raised its Eva-scale sniper rifle. Unit-02 hoisted the Progressive Glaive that had sliced Israfel in half in Asuka's first battle. Both Evas waited only a fraction of a second before going on the attack.

Unit-00 fired round after round from its rifle into Zeruel's back as the Angel turned to face Unit-02. Each tungsten-carbide bolt encountered only the flash of an AT-Field as they harmlessly bounced away at Mach 12. The Angel ignored them, its gaping mask-face twisting slightly to stare at the red Evangelion charging at it. Unit-02 leapt into the air, swinging the glaive down to slash the new Angel the same way Asuka had bisected the 7th.

Progressive blade met AT-Field mid-air, the impact producing unearthly squealing and shrieking from the point where they met. Unit-02 hung in the air, balanced on the edge of the spear, putting its entire multi-thousand-ton weight behind the strike… to no avail. The Angel's AT-Field sparked and screamed, but would not break.

The Angel's tiny metallic 'arms' unfolded into strips that hung down from its shoulder plates. The strips abruptly stiffened and raised up above the Angel's head like flat tentacles.

And with a single precise swipe, cut Unit-02's legs off.

XXX

Asuka shuddered like she was the one who'd been slashed. "NO! No no no no no!" Her grip on Shinji's hand tightened to the point of pain. "Du Arschloch! Du entenfickender Scheißefresser! Ich bring dich um! No one hurts my Unit-02! Cut his heart out, Rei! Kill him!"

Unit-02 crashed to the ground, a keening bellow of agony emitting from its still closed jaws. Immense jets of thick, dark violet blood fountained out of the clean-cut stumps of its legs and sprayed across buildings for blocks. Unit-02 thrashed like it was having a seizure, tearing up the street and smashing lampposts in its convulsions. It took a moment before it suddenly stopped and appeared to be back under control. Its one remaining hand grabbed at the dropped Progressive Glaive and tried to lever itself back into a sitting position.

The Angel merely looked down at it for a moment, bringing its flat ribbon-like arms around again. As Unit-02 tried to raise its weapon once more, Angel neatly removed Unit-02's last limb at the elbow.

"Nooooooo!" Asuka howled, pounding her free hand on the balcony's railing. "Get him, Rei! Get him!"

Unit-01 remained out of sight behind the Weapons Building she'd vanished behind once the Angel turned its attention to Unit-00 and -02. The Angel coiled its arms back closer to its body and turned to face Unit-00.

The blue Evangelion started back at the Angel over the sights of its huge sniper rifle from just a few hundred meters away. As the Angel's eyes began to glow, Unit-00 pulled the trigger on the rifle once more.

XXX

Misato grit her teeth as the Angel's AT-Field shrugged off another shot from Unit-00's rifle with no apparent effort. Unit-00 barely dodged the return blast, its hastily erected AT-Field proving almost no barrier at all to the Angel's beam. _Nothing_ was getting through! Maya's readouts were not encouraging. This Angel's AT-Field was almost the strongest they'd seen, second only to Ramiel's, and that had taken hours of prep and the entire national power grid to punch through, luxuries they did not have. She had maybe a few minutes to come up with something. She needed a genuine Katsuragi Plan, like she'd come up with for the Fifth and Sixth Angels. There was a crippling lack of nuke-armed battleships on hand right now, though...

She didn't have much to work with. She decided to try buying time with a stopgap. "Rei, we're slaving Unit-00's trigger to yours! It will fire when you do. Try to punch down the Angel's AT-Field as much as you can and go for a simultaneous attack on one spot! We'll synch the city defenses to fire at the same time on your target! Hopefully that will break through!"

"Roger." Rei's response was almost as calm as ever. Almost. Had she not been in the middle of a desperate battle for survival, Misato would have spared a moment to wonder at the way Rei sounded almost... nervous. No time. An Angel was banging on their front door, ignoring everything they threw at it, and she had to stop it.

Two Evas left. Unit-02 was down, bleeding in the street, no hands or feet left. Lieutenant Aoba was trying to order it to lever itself up on the stump of its arm and aim the spike launchers in the Eva's fins at the Angel, but the Dummy Plug's control signals were a chaotic mess from all the damage and pan. The city's gun and missile positions continued to hammer away at the Angel, achieving little but an expensive fireworks show. The JSSDF had aircraft and more artillery en route, but so far they'd managed nothing useful. Misato was running out of options.

_'We can't let that thing reach Terminal Dogma,' _she thought. _'From what Kaji showed me down there and told me about it, if an Angel makes contact with that 'Adam', it's all over. All life on Earth wiped out. But if Rei can't stop it...'_ She knew there were self-destruct charges placed throughout the Geofront for the ultimate contingency. For stopping it on the surface...

She placed her hand on Lieutenant Hyuga's shoulder. "Makoto, make sure the self-destruct charges are armed, and get the JSSDF Special Liaison on my secure line," she said quietly.

The young man looked up at her with a grim expression, but nodded. The JSSDF Special Liaison was the official contact for requesting an N2 strike... or a true nuclear one. "Roger, ma'am, but... it's already in the city, right over us. If we call in an N2 strike, it will..."

"It will flatten the entire city. I am aware."

"Ma'am..." Lieutenant Hyuga sweated. "Most of the shelters on the surface aren't rated for a point blank N2 blast..."

"I _know_. We may not have a choice. We _have_ to stop that thing." _'Damn it, Kaji. I wish you were here next to me. Damn Commander Ikari's order banning you from HQ for 'spying'.'_ "Get the Liaison on the line. We need that plane overhead immediately, before it's too late."

She turned her eyes to the main holographic display. _'God __**damn **__Commander Ikari for firing Shinji and Asuka. I __**need**__ them here! Rei, you're our only hope!'_

XXX

Unit-00 slowly backed away as the Angel drifted forward, keeping the distance open. But after just a few blocks, the umbilical cable going into its back began to grow taut. Unit-00 came to a reluctant halt, its rifle still steadily aimed at the Angel's face. The Angel likewise halted and its eyes began to glow...

"Hey, stupid," a strangely calm voice roared out over Eva-scaled speakers. The Angel turned to look back at the call...

...and took a blast of positrons to the face.

Unit-00 fired at the same time. The city guns fired a fraction of a second later, pounding at the same spot. The Angel's AT-Field flared under the combined hit, and for the first time stretched and tore. The huge needle-like dart from Unit-00's rifle slowed from a glowing hot streak to a visible bolt, but pierced through the barrier and gouged a deep scar across the Angel's tubby chest. It bellowed its pain and anger back at them.

_'I owe Asuka 100 yen. I am surprised that actually worked like she said it would.'_ She hoisted the Improved Positron Rifle Mk II she'd equipped from the Weapons Building and adjusted her aim to point at the Angel's face. "I am Rei Ayanami, First Child. I defend this city and my friends. _You shall not pass._"

XXX

Maya's eyes widened. "Doctor Akagi, Rei's Synch Rate just jumped 2.4%! Her neural pulse speed is up too! She's never had this kind of reaction to Unit-01 before!"

Doctor Akagi put her hand on Maya's shoulder and leaned in to examine the young tech's readouts. "That's... She's still lower than the Second or Third Child, but this is a new best for her. Good..." She looked up at the main display. The Angel didn't seem at all impaired by the one wound they'd managed to inflict on it. It only seemed angry. "I think she's going to need it..."

"Where's my air support?" Misato demanded.

"UN and JASSDF attack flights inbound, ETA 3 minutes, Major!" Lieutenant Hyuga reported. "The... Special Attack flight is still prepping. They estimate 20 minutes before they'll be... ready."

Misato nodded. They'd just have to hold that long, no matter what. And Rei was on the offensive now. Finally, something going their way. "Three minutes to air, Rei! Just hold on!"

XXX

"Acknowledged, Major Katsuragi."

Rei waited. She let the Angel's eyes begin to glow before she pulled the trigger again. The blast of positrons tore through its AT-Field by itself that time, chased by a bolt of Unit-00's rifle and the torrent of shells from the city's guns a fraction of a second later. The bolt ripped another chunk of flesh out of the Angel's upper body as shots from the city guns pockmarked its skin with smaller wounds. The Angel growled its anger again and prepared another blast.

Rei took a step forward and shot it in the face again. _'I was correct. It has to weaken its AT-Field a fraction to fire its beam outwards. I can anticipate the blast and break its attack with my own before it can fire.'_ She shot it again, Unit-00 and the support guns following suit. More wounds appeared on the Angel's hide.

_'I can do this. I can defeat it, and protect my friends.'_ She took another step, fired again. The Angel was retreating step for step with her now, drifting backwards away from her and Unit-00.

Step, fire. Step, fire. _'They are counting on me. Major Katsuragi and the Commander are counting on me. I can do this.'_ Another step, another blast. Unit-0 stepped closer, faster, coming in from the Angel's right side. The Angel turned slightly to face Unit-00 more directly, unfurling its arms again...

_'I will show my friends they can rely on me. I will request of the Commander that they be allowed to return to duty, so we can be together again. I do not want to face battle again without them. I need them with me. I do not want to be alone ever aga-'_

The crash of pain nearly drove Rei to her knees. She couldn't see, couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't hold in the scream that tore its way free of her lips. It felt like someone had smashed an axe into her left temple. Blinding spikes of pain threw hallucinatory lightning across her sight a second before something heavy and solid crashed into Unit-01's chest and knocked her stumbling back.

Rei barely kept her feet and desperately blinked her vision clear, shaking her head. What had hit her? What happened? She struggled to keep the Positron Rifle pointed at the blurry bulk of the Angel. There was a blue and grey blur on the ground between Unit-01 and the Angel. Rei focused on it, trying to figure out what had hit her and put the dent in Unit-01's chest armor. Her rapid blinking at last got her sight to refocus, but the pain still spiked through her as she finally saw what it was.

Unit-00's head rocked gently in the street, dark orange blood and LCL flowing out of the razor sharp slice across its neck.

XXX

Shinji's mouth dropped open in shock. The headless body of Unit-00 wobbled and then toppled over. the giant sniper rifle fell out of its hands, smashed halfway through the roof of a building, and came to rest pointing aimlessly skyward. The Angel lowered its ribbon-like arms and turned back to Unit-01.

"Oh... no..." Asuka moaned. "No no no no no no..."

"Shit," Kaji muttered. _'Katsuragi, I hope you've got one of your rabbits up your sleeve, because this doesn't look good.'_

"She... that's it. She's alone," Shinji said softly. "Our Evas are out. Rei's got no backup left..."

"She... no! None of us alone! We _always_ do better together! We can't just sit here and watch Rei get torn apart by that thing!" Asuka cried. "We have to help her!"

"There's... there's nothing we _can_ do, Asuka. That's all NERV's Evas, right there," Kaji said regretfully. "Unit-02 has half of one arm left. Unit-00 is... very out of action."

"Drive us to Unit-02! Shinji and I can get it to... to... _something_!"

The tall Inspector shook his head. "Unit-02 can't even move, Asuka."

"There's got to be something we can do to help Rei! That's my _friend_ out there!" Asuka almost shouted at him. "Drive us to NERV HQ, they've got to have something we can do! They're hardly in a position to tell us to go away now!"

"Do something? With what, Asuka? I want to help Rei-chan too, but what are you going to do, hoist up a Positron Rifle yourself?" Kaji looked back out at the battle, avoiding the desperately pleading look on the young girl's face. "Come on. We need to get to a shelter, right no. NERV and JSSDF contingency plans in this kind of situation call for major N2 strikes to buy time, and nuclear ones as a last resort. We don't want to be here when that comes. And I know Katsuragi, she _will_ call in those strikes if she has to to stop that thing."

Asuka gave one last despairing look over the balcony's edge at the fight. Unit-01 was still up, Positron Rifle leveled at the Angel, but the confident, solid posture it had a moment ago was gone. The purple Eva now swayed badly, looking like it was wounded and in pain somehow.

Kaji's hand on her shoulder made her jump. "Asuka-chan, we have to go, now."

She reluctantly turned to follow him to the door. She made it less than a step before she was pulled up short by her other hand. Shinji hadn't moved. He was still looking out at the battle.

Asuka's eyes narrowed. His posture wasn't paralyzed or despairing. He... he had something? A spark of hope flared in her chest. _'My sweet baka's thought of something?'_ "Shinji?"

Shinji turned around, a strange look in his eye. "I've got an idea."

XXX

Rei struggled to clear her mind. Her head felt like it had been smashed open and knives taken to the exposed meat. It hurt. It hurt it hurt it hurt _it hur- 'S-stop that. Yu have felt w-worse. You have withstood withdrawal from Doctor Akagi's d-drugs. You can handle this.' _She forced down her nausea. Vomiting in LCL could make her choke.

The Angel faced her again and its eyes began that warning glow. Forming a coherent AT-Field barrier was impossible with her head swimming like this. She threw herself to the side, signaling for the pop-up armor plate there to activate.

The Angel's beam sliced right through her umbilical and the power cable for the Positron Rifle before destroying the building behind her. The timer snapped to life on one wall of the Entry Plug and the numbers began their rapid countdown. _'Five minutes and I am dead, one way or another,' _Rei grimly noted. _'I will make them count.'_

The Improved Positron Rifle Mk II had an internal battery for seven shots. More, if she cut the power per shot, but she doubted that would be a good idea against this Angel. Then she'd be down to an Eva-scale pistol and her Progressive Knife. That would have to be enough. She knew NERV's contingency plans called for N2 Mines, nuclear weapons, and the destruction of the Geofront if all else failed. The Angels could not be permitted access to what lay below.

The faces of her friends flashed before her eyes. Their faces, and more. Shinji and Asuka's bond was... beautiful in ways human language was inadequate to even begin to describe to her Angelic eyes. The way their souls _lit up_ when they looked at one another... It made her glow in response just to be near them and see it. That was why, despite her love for them both, she had not attempted to insert herself in that fire, sweet though it might have been. And, oh yes, now she knew what that feeling she had for them both was. She had to protect that. _'I must not fail them. I will not fail them.'_

Rei steeled herself for a moment, then dove back around the armor panel, whipping the Positron Rifle back on target. She fired twice in rapid succession. As she'd hoped, the double blast burned through the Angel's AT-Field and tore at its skin some more. The huge red Core in the center of its chest did not seem to have taken any hits yet, despite all the wounds surrounding it.

The Angel's eyes glowed. Rei moved faster than she ever had before and snapped off two more shots, at its Core this time. She was right on target, but when the flash of the hit had cleared the Core was unmarked. She spotted the leaves of an additional set of armor around the Core retracting into the Angel's body. _'It has extra protection for its Core. Unfortunate. Three shots, 4:35 left. Fortunate for me that I do not fight completely alone.'_

"Major Katsuragi, I require a new power umbilical for my Eva and weapon, and any other support possible."

_"Roger, Rei! 800 meters south, Support Building 12B! Air support is making a run in 20 seconds, coming in from the west! They'll cover you, so be ready to run when they start hitting it!"_

Rei waited until the UN VTOLs were seconds away from their attack before diving out from behind her latest piece of cover and unloading her last three shots at the Angel's Core again. She took off running before the flash of the blast had even faded.

XXX

"Can't you make this thing go any faster?"

Kaji eyed the speedometer on the plain Section 2 sedan he'd checked out of the NERV motor pool a week ago. _152 kph_, it said. He chuckled grimly. "I don't think anyone but Katsuragi's ever said that to me before, Asuka-chan."

Asuka slid back down into the backseat from trying to get a look at the ongoing fight out the back window. "Now I know why Misato drives like that. You taught her, didn't you?"

He grinned tightly. "Hey, back then I just thought it was a fun way to impress her and get her 'excited'. Good times." He threw the car into a precisely calculated drift around a corner and aimed for the nearest Geofront access point. Asuka and Shinji bounced and rattled in the backseat. Each had their free hand clamped tightly on the door handles. Their other hands, he noted with a faint feeling of envy, had never left each other's grasp. In fact, they hadn't let go of each other since he'd encountered them coming in to the apartment, he realized. _'Huh... Those two... I'll still have to tell Katsuragi what they've really been up to, later. Assuming we survive the day, that is.'_

"Um... Kaji-san? Aren't we going to have to stop and wait for the vehicle transport train?" Shinji asked nervously, noting they weren't slowing down as they shot through the caution-striped metal gateway.

"Ordinarily, yes, Shinji-kun..." Kaji said absently as they skidded sideways past the 'STOP HERE FOR LOADING' signs and barriers. "But during an Angel alert, they lock down the trains at the depo in the Geofront to save power and reduce MAGI load. So right now the tracks are empty and it would take too long for a train to get up here. So this is faster."

The edge of the drop onto the track was coming closer very fast. "Um... what's faster?" Asuka asked even more worriedly.

"The direct approach," Kaji said with a smile as he aimed the car at the tracks on a shallow angle.

They shot over the edge and onto the tracks at over 120 kph, to the chorus of the Children screaming in alarm. The darkness of the train tunnel into the Geofront loomed in front of them, angling steeply down.

XXX

( watch?v=WjzusWxi774)

Rei's hands shook badly on the control yokes as she tried to train the Eva's pistol on target. It was difficult; she was not left-handed. But Unit-01's right hand was now lying two kilometers back, 700 meters south of the melted ruin of Support Building 4D and her Positron Rifle. The waves of pain reverberating through her body did not help either.

She'd faced pain before. She'd lived for years with worse injuries regularly. But back then the agonies had been muffled, buried deep in an ocean of numbness brought by her cocktail of drugs. Now she was clearer-headed and more driven than ever before, but she likewise lacked the protective buffer against sympathetic injuries and pain that Piloting an Eva brought.

And today was testing her limits of endurance. Her head still felt like someone had split it open with an axe, Unit-01 was bleeding from half-a-dozen wounds where she'd been unable to fully stop the Angel's devastating beam attack, and now she'd lost her dominant arm below the elbow. She'd barely been able to scramble out of the way of the Angel's latest blasts.

She could feel how much weaker and more ragged her AT-Field was. The pain was making it harder and harder to concentrate. She shot a glance at her radar. There weren't many aircraft left. Several had been swept from the skies by the Angel's beam when it tired of their harassment. The survivors had expended all of their munitions to little effect, and were now headed back to their bases to rearm as fast as possible, though Rei knew there was little chance they'd return in time to do anything.

There was one jet still loitering at the edge of the battlefield. The Special Attack plane, she knew, armed with N2 Mines and at least one nuclear fusion device. _'My friends will die by fire if I am weak. I must not fail. I cannot fail. I will not fail.'_

She was backed up against one of the Main Access Gates down to the Geofront. Meant for bringing down Eva-sized pieces of equipment or the like, it offered a relatively easy way down into NERV's fortress. It seemed to be the Angel's immediate objective, judging by the way it was relentlessly pressing Rei back.

The Angel looked wounded too. Gouges, burns, and shot craters dotted its entire front, and she'd even managed a scratch or two on its Core with her next-to-last shot from the Positron Rifle. One of its ribbon-like arms was now half as long, ending in a melted stub where her last Positron Rifle shot had struck. But it kept coming, ignoring all the damage she'd done to it.

The Eva pistol was a poor second to her lost rifle, but she was running out of options. She took aim, trying to stop the shaking in her hands. "You will not pass," she declared over the external speakers again.

The Angel only growled at her again, and slashed at her with its arms. She ducked beneath the high swipe and dove into a forward roll, firing the pistol until it clicked empty. The rain of bullets pocked a few more holes around the Angel's Core, but the two that would have shipped at the Core itself were again blocked by the extra armor cover that snapped closed over it.

A tremendous screeching and crashing came from behind her. Rei darted a look behind her to see the Main Access Gate falling apart. _'It was not slashing at me, it was cutting the Gate open!'_ Rei realized. _'There is nothing left between the Angel and the Geofront Access Shaft but Unit-01.'_

The Angel's eyes began to glow again. Rei threw the empty pistol at it and reached for her PRogressive Knife.

Her hand never made it. The Angel's beam caught her right in the center, smashing through her hasty AT-Field barrier and throwing Unit-01 into the now opened Access Shaft.

XXX

Despite the urgency and terror of the situation, Shinji still couldn't help himself. He just stood there in stunned awe as his girlfriend finished sealing her plugsuit and pressurized it. The way the skintight red synthetic material wrapped around her figure... _'She is just so beautiful...'_

They'd reached the locker room in NERV UQ after somehow surviving the terrifying descent down the train tracks to the Geofront floor at speeds that should have left his hair white. Kaji had questioned they delay to put on their plugsuits, but Asuka had insisted they'd need every advantage to make Shinji's plan work.

They'd gotten out of their regular clothes and into their suits faster then they'd ever done it before, but even that haste couldn't stop Shinji from drinking in her beauty for just a few seconds. Asuka noticed his stare. "What?"

Shinji blushed. Despite weeks of sleeping next to each other every night, just getting caught staring at Asuka without clothes was still enough to trigger intense embarrassment thanks to his Japanese upbringing. "I... You're so beautiful, Asuka. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me in my whole life. Even if we don't make it today, it's still worth it. I hate having to fight, but I wouldn't be anywhere in the world but right here with you."

Asuka rolled her eyes at him, but smiled. "You say the sweetest things as the weirdest times, my dearest baka. But you're not allowed to die, I told you. It's you and me, until the end of the world. And we're going to _win_. Together we're invincible, remember?" She winked at him and slapped his A-10 Interface Headset onto his head. "Now shut up and get in the giant robot, Shinji."

He smiled and grabbed her hand as they ran out of the room. "Yes, ma'am!"

XXX

Unit-01 fell out from the Geofront ceiling, limbs pinwheeling limply in the air as it plummeted the 900 meters to the floor below. The gigantic Evangelion slammed into the ground with a tremor that shook Central Dogma like an earthquake. Sand and grit fell from the high ceiling, peppering the consoles and personnel below.

"Shit!" Misato spat the dust out of her mouth. The Angel had cut open the Access Gate, blasted Unit-01 into it, and followed too quickly for her to even try ordering the Special Attack flight in as a last effort to stop it. The Angel was descending into the Geofront already. "Get the internal defenses aimed at the Access Shaft, now!" she ordered Aoba. "Maya, tell me Rei's alright!"

Lieutenant Ibuki urgently hammered at her keyboard. "Her life signs are stable and she's still conscious. The LCL in the Entry Plug cushioned the hit enough to protect her, but Unit-01 is in bad shape. A lot of the armor on the back was damaged in that impact, right arm is totally non-functional now, and the left leg is also disabled."

"What have we got left besides the internal defenses?" Misato asked.

Lieutenant Hyuga frantically punched commands in at his station. "We're sending up another Pallet Rifle and Progressive Axe. She's going to have to use them one-handed, though."

"As long as she can degrade the Angel's AT-Field, the internal defenses might be able to hurt it. She's already hurt it a lot," Misato said.

"Unit-01 has 3:58 left on its batteries. I'm trying to get an power cable set to the Geofront level port," Aoba put in.

Misato tried to rally their last Pilot. "Come on, Rei! You've got to get up!"

XXX

Rei struggled to get Unit-01 back on its feet. She had only moments before the Angel would reach the Geofront and unless she got back on her feet the Angel would wipe her out in seconds. _'I c-cannot... fail. I m-must get up.'_

Unit-01 slowly rose to its knees, then shakily stood upright, one hand leaning against the NERV Pyramid to help stabilize her. The world still wobbled and spun around Rei. _'Th-there is... a P-pallet Rifle... 200 meters to my left. I must reach it. I must f-fight.'_

She staggered towards the weapon lift and power cable station. She picked up the Rifle, then put it back down when she remembered she only had one hand left. She'd have to plug in the umbilical first. She reached around behind her and tried to insert the new cable, but could not. Something blocked the port. She looked at her systems display. "Major Katsuragi, the impact of the fall smashed the old plug into the socket. I cannot eject it."

The Geofront was suddenly filled with the roar of dozens of guns and missile launchers opening up as the Angel floated slowly out of the Access Shaft. Rei picked up the Rifle and took aim as best she could with her remaining arm. "I will fight as long as I can."

XXX

"_Shit!_" Misato hissed. Unit-01 had less than 4 minutes of battery left, and if they couldn't connect to a power cable, that was it. Game over. "Maya, is there any other way to get power to Unit-01?"

Maya thought furiously. "The only other system nearby that uses the same level of power the Evangelion umbilicals do is the launch catapults. If Rei can go stand on one of the launch cradles, we might be able to charge her there. But she'd have to stay still while we did it!"

"Best we can do. Rei, head for the launch catapult access way! It's 450 meters to your rear!"

"Roger."

"Maya, start getting the launch cradle moved there!"

"Roger, I... the system's already activating?"

XXX

Rei moved Unit-01 as fast as she could towards the catapult access port, but the crippled left leg made her best speed a hobble. The movement still seemed to attract the Angel's attention. She could feel it swing it's eyes toward her, feel her AT-Field prickle as it once more pushed the light of its soul against hers. It was getting harder to push back at all.

She felt its ribbon-arms reach out for her as it swept closer. She tried to dodge, but couldn't move fast enough. The Angel's arms wrapped around Unit-01 and threw her in a high arc back the way she'd come, landing near her initial point of impact. She smashed into the NERV Pyramid like a runaway train.

XXX

Central Dogma shook and lurched like a ship in a storm. Half the screens dissolved into static. Chunks of the ceiling fell onto the people below, knocking people down left and right.

"Unhh!"

Maya turned around in alarm at the sound of an impact and the cry of pain right behind her seat. Doctor Akagi lay crumpled on the floor, a growing pool of blood spreading from under the piece of ceiling that still hid her head. "_Akagi-sempai!_"

Maya jumped out of her chair and desperately threw the chunk of concrete off her senior. "Akagi-sempai, are you alright?! Answer me! Please!"

"Lieutenant Ibuki, get back to your station. I want a report on Pilot Ayanami's status immediately."

Maya froze and looked up at the Commander's station in shock. Commander Ikari stared flatly at her, his face annoyed. "B-but sir, Doctor Akagi is hurt! She's bleeding pretty badly! We nee-"

"Get back to your station and give me a report on Unit-01 now. Doctor Akagi is irrelevant now." He motioned for two more junior techs to drag her out of the way.

Maya stared as they carried her wonderful sempai away, a dripping trail of blood following them. "Y-yes, sir."

Misato bit down on a snarl. She and Ritsuko might not be getting along great right now, but that was still her oldest friend Commander Ikari had just ordered carried away like a sack of meat.

XXX

Rei tried to get Unit-01 to respond, but that last impact had all but crippled her. She could see the Pallet Rifle lying mostly intact about 200 meters in front of her... right in front of the Angel. It was drifting slowly towards her, its eyes already starting to glow.

Rei activated the speakers for one last attempt at defiance. "I will not yield. Come to me, Angel. I will not run away." She prepared her AT-Field to be as strong as she could make it. 2:47 left on the batteries...

The Angel halted just past the Rifle. It stared at her for a moment. She could feel its bottomless ferocity and anger through its AT-Field. She knew the killing blow would come in seconds. _'I am sorry, my friends. I would have liked to stay with you longer. I hope NERV survives this day so that I might see you again. I... I love you both...'_

"HEY! STUPID!"

A black and purple blur flew out of the air and smashed onto the Angel's head. Its AT-Field was oriented toward Unit-01, so there was nothing to stop the blur from crashing down right onto it and knocking it to the ground. The blur bounced back off it, landing behind it.

Unit-03 raised its Progressive Knife and pointed it at the Angel. "Get away from my friend," two voices said in unison from the Entry Plug.

( watch?v=aNOtyJ4n56c)


	17. Ch 16 - United We Stand Pt 4

Advice &amp; Trust Chapter 7 pt 4

United We Stand

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_"I've got an idea..."_

_Asuka held her breath and stared at him hopefully. Anything, anything that would let them go help Rei, do __**something**__ besides stand here and watch their friend fight alone. _

_"What have you got, Shinji-kun?" Kaji asked from right behind her. _

_"How fast can you get us to NERV HQ, Kaji-san?"_

_"Less than 12 minutes, if you don't mind some interesting methods. Why?"_

_"There's one more Evangelion down there."_

_Kaji and Asuka's eyes went wide. _

_'Of course!' Asuka thought. She spun around to face Kaji. "Yes! Unit-03! We captured it mostly intact, and Misato said they've repaired it some over the last few days! And she said Doctor Akagi is trying to get Hikari out of it, that she was absorbed somehow. If she's still in there, maybe she can... help us synch to it or something!"_

_"Asuka, I don't know... Unit-03 might still be contaminated by that Angel. They're still not sure it's-"_

_"__**Please, **__Kaji! We can't just stand here and watch that Angel tear Rei apart! We have to do something, and this could work!"_

_"Asuka and I have Piloted together before, against Gaghiel. We made it work then, and that was before we did our synchronization training," Shinji argued. "Please, Kaji-san. Rei is our friend, and Misato told me that an Angel getting down into the Geofront could end the world. You have to let us try this!"_

_Something flickered in Kaji's eyes. "That's right. And Angel can't be allowed to reach Terminal Dogma. Alright, let's go."_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Getting to the Eva Cages had been easy. Everyone was at their alert stations, and all the 'active' Evas had been launched, so the Cages were deserted . Fortunately, Kaji had known the commands to swing the mysterious 'salvage' array away from the Entry Plug already positioned at Unit-03's neck, and they'd piled inside. Shinji had looked slightly confused whe she'd insisted he sit in the Pilot's seat. His confusion cleared up as Asuka settled into his lap with one arm behind his neck and started tapping the commands for the startup sequence. Unit-03 was a Production Type, just like her Unit-02, so the controls were almost identical. That part had been easy.

Then the synchronization had started up, and things got... strange. Starting Unit-02 had never felt like this. Unit-02 had always felt comfortable, welcoming, and put Asuka in mind of happier memories of her mother. Unit-03 had felt... not _hostile_, but... chaotic, confused, wary... almost afraid of them? It had been easier when Shinji had taken her hand and started squeezing it in rhythm, the same beat they'd trained to. Once he and she were in synch with each other, the thought-noise had decreased. She felt it without needing any words when Shinji let her 'take the lead' in trying to synchronize with Hikari, if she really was in here. Hikari was her friend much more than Shinji's, after all.

Concentrating on that helped. Their joint Synchronization Rate had crawled up to 18, 20, 27%. Terrible, and little more than a third of what either of the managed in their own Evas these days, but enough to let them move and fight. Letting herself continue acting as the link to the Eva, Asuka mentally pushed Shinji to take responsibility for getting Unit-03 in motion towards the launch catapults. Their joint synch had gotten easier with each step. She could feel Shinji more clearly and easily through the Eva as they went, each move becoming an easier act the more they did it.

It was like a dance, she realized. Reading him, feeling his moves before he made them, watching his responses to his motions, the mutual feedback... It was just like the dancing Misato made them do during their synchronization training. Asuka was suddenly seized by a strong desire to do more regular dancing with Shinji as some point soon. This was... fun?

It really was. She found herself grinning, Despite the craziness of the plan, the urgent need to get to the fight and save their friend, Asuka was enjoying herself. She and Shinji were about to ride into battle again, together, and very definitely save the day or die trying. Not that she thought they'd fail for even a second, but you couldn't have the spectacular save-the-day moment without danger, right? "You and me, together, against Angels and anything that tries to hurt us, until the end of the world, ne, baka?" she said quietly as they locked in to the catapult cradle.

She could feel his smile through the link. "Always and forever. Let's kick some Angel ass and save Rei."

She grinned harder. The eager tingle between them, the positive feedback loop, the sheer joy of doing this together... Asuka stifled a giggle. _'This is almost like the more mental aspects of our sex life,'_ she thought. Visions swam across her mind of Shinji's face, close to hers in the dark of their room, smiling the way he did when they just laid together afterwards...

The link to the Eva was suddenly vibrating, buzzing oddly with... embarrassment? Shock? Huh? It suddenly felt like the Eva was... blushing, and then eagerly inquisitive. Their synch crept up another few points.

_'Oh, shit, did I just out Shinji and I to Hikari? Hikari, are you in there? Is that you?'_ Asuka tried thinking directly at the vague presence of the Eva. She could sort of feel an impression of her friend, like a silhouette behind a thick curtain... but there was another shadow behind her, like a second person farther away.

Worry about it later. _'Hikari, if you can hear me, Shinji and I need you to help us. Rei's in danger and we're all that's left between an Angel smashing its way through all of NERV. We have to fight!'_

Asuka felt a distinct impression of confusion and fear, but it was capped with uncertain agreement. Hikari was with them. _'At least, I hope that's what she means,' _Asuka thought. She could feel Shinji nod.

The catapult system was easy to access from the Eva. It had been built with the possibility the Pilots might have to launch themselves in mind. The acceleration pressed her down onto Shinji's lap, but the LCL buffered most of it. Then they were airborne, shot high into the air over the NERV HW pyramid. She could see the mangled and scarred body of Unit-01 lying against one face of it, LCL and blood streaming from wounds all over. The black and white bulk of the Angel was right below them, dead center of where Shinji was somehow aiming them with flickers of their combined AT-Field.

Asuka's lips twisted into a feral snarl. She felt Shinji's anger right beside her own. She/He/They curled one of the Eva's legs and extended the other. She and Shinji were about to administer soem Eva-sized boot to the head. Her/His/Their hand drew the Progressive Knife for a follow-up strike. _'You tried to hurt my friend? Open wide, __Scheißkerl!_

"HEY! STUPID!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"YES! WAY TO GO, KIDS!" Misato shouted in joy.

The mood on Central Dogma's command deck had suddenly swung from mounting despair to shouts of relief and cheer. Shinji and Asuka, the Pilots who'd won victory after victory had appeared once again to save the day. Misato forced herself _not_ to shoot a triumphant glare up at Commander Ikari. They didn't have time for that now.

"I need every status reading you can get on Unint-03 and I need it five seconds ago, Maya! Shigeru, get every weapon we can reach aimed at that Angel and try to hose it constantly. We can't tie the shots to the trigger like we did with Rei, so we'll just have to pour it on and hope it leaks through when the kids get an opening for us. Makoto, have we got _anything_ left weapons-wise we can get to them? They've only got Unit-03's onboard knife."

"Working, ma'am!" Lieutenant Hyuga replied, his hands racing over his keyboard. "Two more Pallet Rifles are all we've got left that might get through. No more Positron weapons, and nothing else has been doing much good."

"Get one of our N2 mines moved to the support lines. We might have to use it, but with two Evas we stand a chance of containing the blast," she ordered.

"Minimal telemetry available on Unit-03, ma'am!" Maya reported. "But I'm getting two signals from the Entry Plug! Both Shinji-kun and Asuka are in there! But they've only got two minutes of power left!"

"Get that umbilical cable reset for them and hurry! Can we reach them on comms?"

"Nothing yet, but we're trying. I can still reach Rei, and I think she can relay!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rei's heart soared. Despite the pain, a tiny smile crept onto her lips. _'My friends have come for me. I am not alone.'_

With her friends here, victory was assured. But she must help. She must warn them of the Angel's tactics and surprises before it could hurt them. Fortunately, the communication systems were mostly buried in the Entry Plug itself, so they should still be functional even after all the damage Unit-01 had taken. She had little else at this point. Less than two minutes left on the batteries, one working arm and leg... Unit-01 still had its Progressive Knife in the right pylon, but it was not in any shape to use it. Information to help her friends was her most potent weapon now.

"Asu-... Pilot Soryu, Pilot Ikari, can you hear me? The Angel's AT-Field weakens momentarily just before it fires a beam weapon from its eyes. You can disrupt its attack and more easily penetrate its AT-Field if you strike when you see a warning glow building up in its eyes. The beam can also be blocked or deflected by a full-strength AT-Field barrier."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Rei! You alright?" Asuka shouted, reassured. She was alive, at least, though she sounded terrible to Asuka's ears. "Thanks for the hint. Baka-Shinji and I will take it from herOHSHIT!"

Rei's warning came a second too late. The Angel had quickly bobbed back up after their sudden impact, growling ominously. Its eyes flashed suddenly, and a blindingly bright beam stabbed towards her/his/their chest. Asuka felt Shinji mentally push her behind him in the link, taking the majority share of their synchronization with the Eva's physical responses.

The beam caught them right in the center of the chest, crashing through the hasty AT-Field they threw up. Asuka felt the center of her own chest erupt with heat, like the laser had struck her directly. She bit down on an anguished cry. Shinji, bearing more of the physical bond, took it worse. His scream of pain filled the Entry Plug and tore at Asuka's heart.

Unit-03's chest plate smoked and melted a little, but held. Asuka craned her head to look her boyfriend in the face. "Shinji?! Are you ok?"

Sweat beaded against his skin, forming tiny spheres before mixing into the LCL. He panted heavily, but his hands never left the control yokes under hers. "Y-you c-call that a b-beam? I've had w-worse!" he raggedly snarled back at the Angel. "Let's finish him, Asuka!"

"I have managed to inflict some damage to the Angel, but its Core has additional armor it only exposes when directly attacked," Rei continued from her comm window.

"We're going to have to finish this fast, no matter what we do," Asuka said. "We've got less than two minutes of battery life at this level of draw, and we can't afford to lower it if we're going to put up an AT-Field to block those beams! I do _not _want you having to tank another hit like that, baka!"

"No argument here, Asuka," Shinji said with a grimace. "That wasn't _as_ bad as Ramiel, but still hurt." He sent Unit-03 charging at the Angel, raising the Progressive Knife.

The Angel just let them come. Unit-03's thousands of tons of mass and momentum just slammed to an instant halt when they hit its AT-Field. The Angel's bone-like facemask leered at them from just a few meters away, almost within arm's reach. She/He/They pushed harder, pressing the Progressive Knife forward, slowly forcing the Angel's AT-Field to stretch...

"Down!" they both suddenly shouted to each other in stereo. They dropped below the Angel's line of sight less than a second before the next beam shot out.

Asuka worriedly glanced at the countdown timer's relentless flicker. 1:47. They had to strike _fast_. She and Shinji shoved off the ground and bounced back up, tearing at the Angel's AT-Field with all the power they could muster.

And they were doing it. She could feel it, the AT-Field she and Shinji were putting up together was stronger than any they'd managed separately. They slowly tore through the Angel's barrier, pushing through with a shout from both their throats. They stabbed the Knife into the Angel's shoulder near a deep gouge from a wound Rei had inflicted. The Angel's entire shoulder started to tear away.

The Angel bellowed in pain and whipped it's other arm up to slap Unit-03's hand away. The Progressive Knife went spinning off into the air. Asuka cursed furiously in German as they grabbed at the ribbon-arm with one hand and tried to tear the flopping shoulder completely off with the other.

The Angel charged forward, knocking them off balance and making them stumble back away. They kept their grip on the shoulder, though, and it tore free as they fell back. The Angel roared again.

She/He/They ran for the Knife, a few long strides and a diving roll resulting in them coming back up facing the Angel, armed once again, but now farther away from it an Rei. The Angel's eyes glowed again, but this time they were ready. Their AT-Field barrier stopped the beam dead, though they both could feel the effort needed to hold.

Asuka looked at the timer again. 1:09. _'Damn. No time for grand strategies. Charge!'_ Shinji felt her impulse, and joined right in. They ran at the Angel again, diving and dodging more beams. They weren't so lucky on the fourth shot. Even their combined barrier couldn't hold this time, and they both screamed in unison as the lance of energy sheared off Unit-03's left hand and took a piece out of their shoulder.

But the attack didn't stop their charge, and now they were close in again. The Angel's AT-Field was still weak from the last shot, and they tore through easier this time. Together, they swung the Knife for the Core.

Two hemispheres of grey armor snapped closed over the Core the instant before their blade could strike. The Progressive Knife sparked and skidded off the curved surface.

"Damn it!" Asuka cursed. "It's too fast!"

"The Knife is all we've got, though!" Shinji replied, trying to bring their arm around for another strike.

"Maybe we can get to that Pallet Rifle that Rei dropped?"

"The one _behind_ the Angel? We'll have toAAAAA!"

The Angel gave them no time to attack again. It slashed with its remaining arm, forcing them to parry a strike right at their face.

Asuka flicked her eyes at the timer again. 0:33

_'We need something, fast!'_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rei forced Unit-01 to move. It was crippled, mangled, and more broken than functional, but her will was stronger than ever, and she made it move. She crawled as fast as she could to where her Pallet Rifle had landed. It was the only thing left that could reach the Angel and help her friends.

Her Eva's hands closed on the Rifle and dragged it into a prone firing position. She took aim at the Angel's back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She/He/They pressed harder and harder, striking at the Angel with increasing desperation. Nothing got through. Every strike that got close to the Core was blocked by the armor. They'd carved half the Angel's face off with the blade, costing it an eye and making its beam attack much weaker. But the countdown timer had just reached 0:09 and there was nothing left.

"Hikari, help us!" Asuka shouted in frustration.

The countdown hit zero.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Oh no..." Misato whispered, her face paling. Central Dogma fell tomb-silent.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Move! Move! Move! Move!"

"Hikari, _please_!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Angel drew its remaining arm back, leveling the edge of the ribbon at Unit-03's head. It struck faster than a cobra at Unit-03's head.

Unit-03 raised its arms in a futile defensive gesture.

Unit-01's eyes lit up.

An AT-Field stronger than any they'd seen before flashed into existence in front of Unit-03. The Angel's strike slammed into it and ricocheted away with a shower of sparks.

In the Entry Plug, Asuka and Shinji lowered their arms together. "What... did... did we?" Shinji stuttered.

"I... don't think so? It wasn't me. Hikari?" She aimed the last at her friend's presence.

_Confusion and negation_. Asuka shook her head and they just stared at each other.

"If it wasn't us, then...?" Shinji asked, looking back out the display. Then he saw it.

Unit-01 had its remaining hand stretched out at them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You... will not... harm them..." Rei panted. Alone in the Plug, no one could see her eyes glow faintly red. "I... will... _not... permit... it!_"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The countdown timer flashed 00:00, its steady tone like a heart monitor flatlining. Very appropriate, since it meant they were dead too... but... Asuka blinked. They were looking out through the display. The display that was _still on!_ "Shinji!"

"Asuka!" he burst out at the same time, "Look!"

"The displays are still on!"

"No, look outside!" He pointed. "Unit-03 raised its arms when we did!"

They locked eyes. "We still have power!"

"How?!" Shinji asked.

"I don't know!" Asuka replied. "I... wait! The Angels must have grown an S2 Organ in the Eva's body when it infected it! It's got all the power we could need! We can still fight!"

"Then let's finish him!"

_Determined agreement!_ came from the presence of Hikari.

"Now!"

(Two Steps From Hell - United We Stand, Divided We Fall) watch?v=6O6Q1OiF6LI

Together, they pulled their arm back, and stabbed the Progressive Knife at the Angel's Core again. The Angel's AT-Field resisted, but they drew more and more power from Unit-03's Core and pushed harder and harder. Their AT-Field grew stronger and stronger until it parted like paper, the AT-Field from Unit-01 combining with their own to crush the Angel's.

The Angel staggered forward into their attack as Rei raked its back with fire from the Pallet Rifle. It's shredded AT-Field offered no protection against the attack from the rear when all its energy was directed forward. The point of Unit-03's blade actually made contact with the Core before the armor snapped up around it, trapping it in place.

"Oh no you don't!" Shinji and Asuka screamed together.

They turned, shifting Unit-03's position to place it to their left side, moved their weight onto one foot and leaned back. He/She/They brought up the Eva's gigantic foot and side-kicked the hilt of the blade with all the might they could muster.

The armor pinched around the blade couldn't stop the kick with the blade already between the pieces. The Progressive Knife slammed forward, cracking the Core and sinking hilt-deep.

The Angel screamed loud enough to shatter windows in the buildings hanging from the roof of the Geofront overhead. It wrapped its remaining arm around Unit-03 and pulled it up close against it, fixing one last glare on Unit-03. The broken Core began to glow brighter.

"It's going to blow!" Shinji shouted, trying to pull them back. The Angel's arm was too strong.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_I... WILL... NOT... PERMIT... IT!"_ Rei snarled. She took careful aim at the center of the Angel's back and held down the Pallet Rifle's trigger.

The stream of bullets tore into and through the Angel's weakened back, no AT-Field left to stop them anymore. The Core erupted outward in a shower of sparks and fragments, spraying across Unit-03's chest. The glow in the Core and the Angel's eyes faded out, its huge body now slumping limply against Unit-03.

Then Rei could see no more, as Unit-01's batteries died and the Entry Plug went dark.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"They did it..." Misato whispered. Her face brightened into an ear-to-ear grin "They did it!" she shouted. Central Dogma exploded into cheers.

Misato whirled to stare triumphantly at the Commander's station, ready to smirk at Commander Ikari's expression of distaste that Shinji and Asuka had saved the day. Her smile faded in confusion as she saw only an empty chair, and just saw the back of Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki leaving as well.

"Which leaves me stuck in charge of the clean-up. Thanks, sir," she muttered. She turned back to her crew and began snapping out orders to get the Eva's recovered immediately.

Maya stood up, her hands shaking. "Major Katsuragi! May I be relieved? I... I... I want to go check on..." She gestured helplessly at the floor.

Misato's eyes caught on the bloodstain on the floor between them, where Ritsuko had fallen. She looked at Maya's pleading eyes and nodded. The young tech bolted for the exit heading to the infirmary as another technician took her place.

_'That's one more thing we're going to have to 'discuss' later, Commander.'_ She put that aside and focused on getting their heroes out of their Evas. Unit-01 was in bad shape.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Shinji let his head fall weakly against Asuka's. "We did it. I can't believe this worked..."

"It was a brilliant idea, my dearest baka. Looks like I'm not the only genius." Asuka closed her eyes. "I can still... _feel_ Hikari, too. She's in here, somehow." She unfolded herself from Shinji's lap and knee-walked forward in the Plug, hands out like she was searching by touch. "It's... like she's just around the corner or something..."

Shinji nodded. He closed his eyes and sank more deeply into their link. "I... I can sense her better now that we're not fighting... I can... I can almost feel her!" He held his hands out blindly, like he could reach her.

There was a sound like a door slamming underwater, and suddenly Shinji's lap was full of teenage girl again. Asuka stared in shock as a very corporeal and entirely naked Hikari suddenly appeared in her boyfriend's lap. His arms wrapped around her on reflex.

Shinji looked from Hikari's face to Asuka's. "Buhwha?" he said articulately.

Asuka's face purpled. "You can feel her alright! Now _stop!_" She shuffled over and pulled Hikari's limp form out of Shinji's lap and turned her so her back was to Shinji. "How the fuck did you _do _that?!"

Shinji's eyes were wide. "I... I have no idea! Is she breathing?!"

Asuka checked. Hikari's eyes were closed and she appeared unconscious, but her chest rose and fell. "Yeah... She's alive..." Her head snapped up to meet Shinji's eyes, a huge grin breaking out on her face. "She's alive!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hikari slowly became aware she was awake and lying in bed again. It was hard to separate from the dreams at first. Her body felt... indescribably strange. But that was better than not feeling anything at all.

_'Did... did that all really happen? Mother? Was that really her? She... she knew me. That was her, I know it! She's in the Eva, she protected me!'_ A sigh and a tear of joy escaped her.

"Hikari? Are you awake?" said a familiar voice. A slim-fingered hand took hers and gently squeezed it.

Hikari blinked slowly and peeled her eyes open. "Asuka?"

Her friend sat just to her right, holding her hand. Ikari-kun was sitting right beside her. Hikari blinked as memory rushed back in.

_LoveLustTrustJoyHappinessTrustComfortLoveLustJoyHappinessTrustComfort. Closeness beyond the physical. Absolute confidence in the love of the other. Fierce courage redoubled by the presence of the other close by. Memories and images of the other's face in ecstasy over and over again because..._

Hikari blushed fully scarlet. _'Ohmigodohmigodohmigod, Asuka and Ikari-kun are __**sleeping together!**__ They're really together, all the way! I've... I've never even seen love like that! Holy shit, I want to feel like that too! But... why are they pretending they're not together?'_

"Are you alright, Class Rep? You're looking... kind of red. Should we call in the nurse?" Ikari-kun asked gently.

"No! No! I'm... I'm fine! I just... um..." She stopped, suddenly wondering. "Where am I? What happened? Did... did that happen? Did we fight an Angel?"

Asuka and Ikari-kun looked at each other and smiled. "Yes, we did," Asuka said. "You were there too. You got absorbed by the Eva's Core when the 13th Angel infected Unit-03 somehow. We thought you were gone, but another Angel appeared just a few hours ago. It wiped out Rei and the other Evas, so baka-Shinji and I sort of... er... hijacked Unit-03 to help her. You helped us fight the Angel from inside the Core somehow. After the battle, you just kind of appeared in Shinji's lap. How'd you do that?"

Hikari's breath caught. "She... she told me to. She told me I should go back, but she'd always be in there, watching over me."

Asuka and Ikari-kun looked at each other again. "What? Who said that, Hikari?"

"...my mother. I'd swear she talked to me." Hikari rubbed her forehead, trying to force blurry memories into line. "There... when I started the activation test, I could feel something was wrong. It felt... cold, angry, and hostile in the Entry Plug. But suddenly there was this... other presence. Warm, comforting, familiar. It pulled me out of the Plug somehow, and then I was... floating in space, talking to... my mother. Sh-she said she'd pulled me in to protect me from... from something that would have eaten me. And then... I could feel y-you and Ikari-kun..." Hikari paused as the memory of their blazing, ecstatic bond thundering over the link at her swelled up again. "And...then I could follow you, and sort of see outside. We fought that thing, and when we won, my mother said...'It's time for you to go, my child. You have people waiting for you. Especially him.' A-a-and then... Then I woke up now, I guess."

Asuka and Ikari-kun looked at each other a long time. Hikari could see it now, the way the two of them were having an entire deep conversation without a word spoken between them. How could she have missed that? She'd dismissed it all as just the two of them being 'like' a married couple, but missed how they really were. And she could see it plainly now. She'd never seen a couple so close as that. Not even her vague memories of her mother and father from her childhood. She felt almost like she was intruding just watching them.

"You are certain it was your mother?" Rei asked.

Hikari jumped. She'd been so fixed on Asuka and Ikari-kun she hadn't even noticed the blue-haired girl standing quietly behind them. Rei was bandaged up again, like she'd been months ago when Ikari-kun had first arrived. Thick bandages covered her right arm and more peeked out from under her school uniform. "Ayanami-san!"

"I have asked that you call me 'Rei', Hikari-san."

"Rei-san, right, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there. Um, yes, I'm sure it was my mother. I don't know how, but it was her for sure."

Rei seemed troubled by this information, but she only nodded at Hikari and fell silent once again.

Asuka looked troubled too. "Your mother... that's... interesting."

Hikari just looked at her. "Why, what does it mean?"

Asuka shook her head. "We'll talk about it later. We just wanted to be here when you woke up, but we had to promise to leave right after that. They want to do a whole ton of medical checks on you. Coming out of an Eva's Core is... a little weird. So Wondergirl, baka-Shinji, and I are all leaving. We wanted to give you some alone time with your Stooge there." Asuka jerked her chin at the other side of the bed.

Hikari's eyes widened and she snapped her head around.

Touji sat on the other side of the bed, smiling tearfully at her. "H-hi, Hikari. I'm... I'm so happy to see you." The tears starting to run down his cheeks almost made it look like he wasn't. Hikari knew better.

"T-touji..." her hand grabbed his. She started to cry too.

Asuka grinned a little as she and the others headed for the door. "We'll stall the docs for as long as we can. Use the time well, you two."

Hikari barely heard her. She only had eyes for one person. So she missed Asuka taking Shinji's had as she left, and Rei's curious, wistful, and slightly envious stare at her and Touji falling into a tight embrace.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They stalled the doctors for twenty minutes by a combination of consultations about their own minor (or in Rei's case, a bit more than minor) injuries, and when that ran out, death glares from the two girls at anyone who tried approaching the door past them. The ones from Rei really seemed to unsettle people just from the sheer strangeness of seeing the _First Child_ doing that.

The time to make their exit was signaled by a sudden shout of "THEY'RE _WHAT?!_" from Touji inside the room.

"Oops. Er, time to go!" Asuka said after they all recovered from the surprise. She grabbed Shinji and Rei's hands and pulled them down the hall after her.

"Whoa! Wait, Asuka, what was that all about?" Shinji asked as they were towed towards the elevators at a rapid clip.

"I, er... might have been thinking about you and I when I was synched to Hikari. Like... I was thinking about... um... last night? So I think I 'outed' us to her."

Shinji's eyes went wide and his face red. "Sh-sh-she _knows_?!" He blinked. "A-a-a-and that shout means she just told _Touji?!_"

"Probably." She shot Shinji a slightly worried look. "I'm pretty sure Hikari will keep quiet, but what about Jock-Stooge?"

Shinji calmed down a little. "Um... I don't think he'll spread it around. He'll sure want to talk to me about it, though. Mmm... well, he and Horaki-san have been getting really close. I hope he'll be distracted for a little while. But... Asuka... if they know... and Kaji knows...and that means Misato will know soon... I don't know how we can stay hidden much longer." His hand nervously squeezed hers.

She nodded. "I know. We're pretty much blown now that Kaji knows. There's no way he won't tell Misato. I think I can convince him to let _us_ tell Misato, as long as we promise to do it really soon. Like, within a week. I've got some ideas on how to do that, too."

They reached the elevator bank and Asuka hit the button. She looked around to make sure Rei was the only person nearby. Once she'd verified the coast was clear, she let go of Rei's hand and pulled Shinji into a hug. "And like I said, no matter what happens, once we have to go public, I'm making sure the whole school knows you're mine."

Shinji squeezed her back, and smiled as he closed his eyes to enjoy the hug. When he opened them again, he noticed Rei staring at them intently. "Rei, are you alright?"

Rei blinked at being caught staring. "I... you two are so beautiful to see... and..." She looked back down the hall towards Hikari's room. "They... Suzuhara-san and Hikari were looking at each other the way you two do. I think... they will be like you soon. Bonded. Stronger together. Shining inside..." Rei looked back at them with an almost hungry look. "I hope that I will find one who will look at me that way. I wish to feel... loved."

Shinji pulled back from the embrace to share a look with Asuka. She looked as confused as he did. "We love you, Rei, you know that," Shinji told her.

Rei shook her head. "That is not what I mean. I mean love like I see between Suzuhara-san and Hikari, between you and Asuka."

Rei's eyes dropped to her feet and she actually blushed. "Love like I feel for you both."

Asuka and Shinji shared another stunned look. They snapped their heads back towards Rei and asked in stereo, "What?!"

"I... love you both," the blunette said softly. She raised her eyes with a noticeable struggle. "Shinji, you showed me care and compassion when no one else ever had, not even the Commander. Asuka, you helped free me from the drugs that clouded my mind when you had no reason to do anything but dislike me. And you both came for me and saved me in this battle. I... I look at you and I know I love you both."

"Rei, we..." Shinji trailed off. What could he say? He looked over at Asuka. She shrugged too, at an equal loss.

Rei waved her hands defensively at their shocked expressions. "No! I do not want to intrude! I... I will never try to... intersplice myself in your bond! It is too beautiful to disrupt! But... I wanted you both to know. I understand what this feeling is now. It is love. I will protect that feeling, and you. I will not allow any harm to come to you or your bond if I can ever do anything about it."

Rei looked out the window at the still mangled form of Unit-01 lying in the Geofront, recovery crews still swarming over it. A tall, black figure was barely visible at the center, directing efforts. "No matter who tries to cause it."

Rei looked back to them, her face coloring. "I... I should go," she mumbled. "I... I will return to my apartment, and leave you two alone today."

Asuka shook herself out of the mild shock. "Er, Rei, you literally live next door to us now. And you nearly always have dinner with us," she pointed out.

"Um... yes. That is so. Um." Rei tried to look anywhere but at them.

Shinji tried to close his gaping mouth. Rei was _blushing._ She was _flustered_. Was that even possible? And what she'd just said... really? She... loved them? _'I mean, I love Rei like a sister, and she's probably closer to Asuka and I than anyone else in the world, but... she loves us? Both of us?'_

He could tell Asuka was thinking much the same thing, but the redhead shook it off for the moment. "Rei, you're our closest friend, cool in a fight, and just helped us kill the toughest Angel we've ever seen. You can tell us that without turning into a blushing schoolgirl, right?"

Rei looked at Asuka and blushed harder. "R-really? You... I do not make you uncomfortable by saying this?"

Asuka shook her head. "We just saved the world _again_, Rei, despite Commander Asshole trying to fire us and make you fight alone. I don't give a damn what anyone but us thinks right now. You... love us?" Asuka shook her head again. "I'll... today's been too crazy to process that. So we'll deal with it tomorrow, and for right now, let's all go home. My sweet baka owes us a grand victory feast." She took Rei and Shinji's hands, and led them into the arriving elevator.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The trip home was still a bit awkward after Rei's declaration. Shinji and Asuka had sat close to one another, no longer caring who saw them together. They'd spent the whole ride up from the Geofront to the surface just quietly murmuring reassurances to each other that they were still alive and whole, together. The subject of Rei's confession was put aside for discussion by mutual silent agreement.

Even dinner was a little odd. Shinji quickly prepared a meal of fried rice and vegetables for them out of deference to Rei's dislike of meat, but conversation had been shy and minimal. Every time Rei looked at either of them, she'd blush again and mumble into her plate. Though the mood was high thanks to their victorious battle, there wasn't a lot of talking.

Eventually Rei had departed for her own apartment next door, darting closer to give them both brief hugs before skittering off in a hurry. Asuka had stared after her, shaking her head one more time before turning to Shinji and giving him an even tighter hug of her own.

"I am _incredibly _fucking glad you had that idea, Shinji. We got there just in time. Rei was about to be... if we'd gotten there even one minute later..." she whispered into his collar.

Shinji just nodded. Rei would have been likely killed, and then there would have been nothing stopping the Angel from tearing the whole Geofront apart, killing everyone. He snorted. When Asuka pulled back to look at him, he explained, "It's kind of a good thing Kaji was here to catch us. Without him, we'd never have been able to reach Unit-03 in time."

Asuka's lips twisted, but she nodded. "True, but now he knows, and we've got only until next weekend before he tells her if we don't do it first. I've got some ideas of how to go about that, though. Preemptive payback for the teasing she's going to hit us with." She broke the hug and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the bathroom. "Now come on. I want a shower before bed. And then I want you."

Asuka purred contentedly, enjoying the warmth of Shinji lying cuddled with her as they cooled down. _'Mmm, how did I ever go without this before? No better way to feel comforted and alive after a battle than that most primal of communions. You're mine until the end of us both, Shinji. I can't imagine anyone but you with me._' She hugged him tighter. Shinji's eyes dropped down from the ceiling and he smiled.

She poked his nose. "Earth to Shinji. After what we just finished doing, I'm a little miffed you're obviously thinking of something else besides _me_, Third Child."

He smiled again and gave a tiny shrug. "Something was sticking in my head about what Hikari said. About seeing her mother in the Core. It... I don't know what to think. When I was in Unit-00 during the Cross-Compatibility Tests, I didn't see my mother, or Rei's... I thought I saw another Rei, just... kind of odd. I thought at the time it was just an impression of her left behind, since she was the usual Pilot, but what if it was something else? I don't remember feeling anything like that when I was in Unit-02 with you, and in Unit-03 it was definitely Hikari... and I could feel something else behind her. Was that her mother? How..." Shinji trailed off, unable to articulate the puzzle.

Asuka narrowed her eyes in thought. "We... we know people can be pulled in to the Core without dying. Hikari proved that... hmmm."

She flopped back down, studying the ceiling herself now. "I... I always felt... _something _in Unit-02. Something warm, comforting. Unit-01 feel like that for you?"

He nodded.

"Hmm... and when... your mother vanished during the Contact Experiment, but mine didn't... but when I thought about her during a Synch Test, my Synch Rate went up right then... But..." _'Body, mind, soul... What did the experiment do to my mother? Shinji's mother vanished entirely. Hikari was... pulled in by her own? Does the soul... migrate? Who or what was it I saw in the 12th Angel? Right at the end, I thought I saw... so familiar...'_

Her heart stopped. Asuka rocketed up, suddenly snapping to fully upright, the motion flinging the blankets and sheets aside. She tried to breathe, but her lungs wouldn't obey her. Her eyes burned holes in the air in front of her, seeing nothing...

Shinji sat up in alarm, frightened by his lover's sudden shock. "Asuka? What is it? Are you alright?"

She turned to him suddenly, her arms latching onto his shoulders with desperate strength. "_Shinji! I know where they __**are**__!"_

He winced at her grip, but put his arms around her too, holding her close. "Who?" he asked, confused.

"_Our __**mothers**__!_"


	18. Ch 5-5 - Before the Storm - Interlude

Before the Storm Pt 1.5 - Interlude

One of my beta readers pointed out I had Shinji remembering his mother's disappearance in the Contact Experiment in a conversation with Asuka just after Leliel, far earlier than he did in canon, where he only recalled the event after his vision quest in Unit-01's Core and speaking to his mother. As this was likely an important conversation, it kind of needed to happen 'on camera', but the oversight didn't get pointed out until I was well past the spot.

And yes, the disruption and slowdown of my writing routine kept going. So to energize things and get me moving again, I did a live-writing session over IRC with some of the story followers from Sufficient Velocity, and they helped push me to complete that missing scene in one day. So as a little bit to tide you all over while I try to get moving on Chapter 8, here's the missing scene that should fall in the middle of Chapter 4, or (Ch 6, Before the Storm Pt 1) on 's breakdown.

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XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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Shinji had learned a lot in the time since Asuka first kissed him. He'd learned that kissing was an _amazingly_ fun was to spend time with someone. He'd learned that seeing someone he cared about in danger could make him act uncomfortably like his father. He'd learned that just having Asuka near him made him feel simultaneously happier and more nervous.

And he'd learned that Asuka, the indomitable tower of courage and determination, would in fact sometimes cry during and after sex.

The first time he'd been doing it too. The emotions of their first time together were too strong. It hadn't surprised him much that she would cry too. The relief and happiness he'd felt at seeing her alive again and in his arms after she'd spent the day vanished inside Leliel had been overwhelming. And then she took possession of his heart once and for all by telling him she loved him, and wanted all of him.

So the tears on both of their faces had not surprised him too much. It was only when it happened again the next night that he began to worry. Asuka had silenced his concerns with a fervent kiss.

But it kept happening. By the fourth night, Shinji couldn't stand it anymore. The idea that he was somehow hurting her, making her cry, was almost physically painful to him. His need to keep the one who loved him happy was burning in him like nothing he'd ever felt before. So this night, he made himself ask.

"A-asuka? I really like this, but... I... I can't stand the idea I'm hurting you. I don't want to make you cry we don't have to do this if it's... painful or making you sad or something..." he ventured once they'd finished.

"Just... shut up." She'd wiped at her face and burrowed into his side. "You're not making me sad. I'm... crying because you're making me _happy. _And that's making me remember the last time I really felt that way. That's what's making me cry."

"...huh?" Shinji commented astutely.

"Baka. I haven't let anyone see me cry in ten years. Feel honored." She sniffled.

"I... what? You'd have been just..."

"Yes, that young. I... made a promise. At my mother's funeral. I wouldn't let anyone see me cry. That I'd grow up fast and not need anyone. That I'd be the best, and _make_ people look at me."

"W...why would you do that?"

Asuka was silent a long, long time.

"Because the last time I felt this happy, this... worth something, was before my mother..."

Shinji stiffened. He knew this was something they'd both been avoiding. "You don't have to..."

"I want to." Asuka stopped him. "I... the last time I felt this happy was the day I was told I was the Second Child. But that was also the day... Let me start at the beginning."

Asuka rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. "My mother... was wonderful. She had an important job, but she always made time for... for her Asuka. One day, she told me she was going to do some really important thing, a 'Contact Experiment'... and something went wrong."

The words echoed somehow with Shinji, but he put it aside for later.

Asuka went on, her voice getting cool and brittle. "She... they wouldn't let me see her for days. I was almost frantic. And I can see now why they tried to stop me."

"Mama didn't know me."

Asuka shivered and wiped at her face again. "She... they'd cut her hair short. She looked... terrible. I could see some kind of burns or scars on the back of her neck. She... she looked at me once, and then just told the doctors to 'make _that girl_ go away!'. Then she...went back to cradling and talking to a... a doll she'd made."

"It had my name on it."

Shinji winced himself from the raw pain in her voice. He rolled onto his side to put his arm around her, tugging her back into a hug. She came easily, latching onto him hard.

"She... didn't recognize me at all. I begged her not to stop being my Mama, to look at me... not to ignore me... But she kept talking to that _damned doll_ like it was me instead. The... whatever that experiment was, it did something to her mind. She..." Asuka sniffled again. "She...just went on like that for months. Papa started..." Venom filled her voice now. "'Carrying on' with one of Mama's doctors in the next damn room. I could hear them sometimes. And Mama...never got better."

"Then one day they told me that I was chosen as the Second Child. I was going to be an elite Eva Pilot, defending the world! I was overjoyed. I finally had something I could show Mama, make her see me again. I was so happy..."

"Then I got to her room."

Asuka stopped, and just breathed slowly and deeply into his hug. "She... she'd found some rope, somehow... She was... hanging from the ceiling..."

Shinji felt his skin go cold and clammy. "No..."

"And... she'd hung the doll, too. Right next to her." Asuka began to cry more deeply. "She wanted me to die with her... After that, I just promised myself that I would live for myself. That I wouldn't need anyone. That I would be the best so people would _have_ to look at me... and not stop like Mama did."

Shinji tried to get a grip. He thought his own lonely childhood had been bad enough. The endless nightmares of seeing his father walking away, dumping him at the train station and just _leaving _had been enough. But Asuka had seen... _that?_

"But... why no more crying?" he finally mumbled.

"I had to grow up fast. I had to be the best, to be worth something. If even my mother didn't want me, what good was I? I... I'd have died if I tried to cry that much. So I locked it away and tried not to remember it. But it haunts me every night. Or it did... I haven't had that nightmare since... we started." She sighed and rested her forehead against his. "Thank you, Shinji."

She just laid against him, the anguish in her face slowly ebbing. "But with you, us being together at night like this... and us... finally going all the way... I... I can feel you. You let me have all of you. You..." She swallowed. "No one has made me feel loved since Mama. No one, not Misato, not even Kaji. Not the way I wanted to be, that makes me feel... wanted, just for being Asuka."

Shinji was glad the darkness hid his blush. Hearing anyone talk about him like this was still almost impossible to believe. That it was the most beautiful girl he knew who had said flat out she loved him was even more so.

"I... you're welcome? Um... I don't know what to say."

A tiny bit of her usual fire returned to her voice. "Don't say anything. Just hold me, baka. That's all you need to do to make me happy right now. Be here."

Shinji smiled in the dark, barely able to make out her features, but could feel the heat of her blush anyway. "I will."

He closed his eyes, letting the warmth of her chase out the chill of the images she'd conjured up. As bad as his memories of his father abandoning him were, Asuka's were even worse. But... that phrase... it stuck with him... He'd _heard_ it, somewhere... but where? He didn't think Doctor Akagi had said it since he came to Tokyo-3 or anything like that. Was it in that guidebook Misato had given him? Something Lieutenant Ibuki had said during a synch test?

He tried to let his mind drift. That had been how he recalled things in the past.

A... a voice. There. He remembered... his mother's voice? No... it sounded like Doctor Akagi, but older, cooler...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_"Why is there a child in here?"_

_"It's Chief Ikari's son."_

_A voice he knew... Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki? "Ikari, this is not a day school. This is a very important day."_

_"Sorry, Fuyutsuki-sensei! I brought him here." His mother's voice!_

_"Yui-kun, it's your Contact Experiment today."_

_Mother again. "That's why. I want to show the promising future to my child."_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

His eyes shot open and he bit down on a scream. _He'd been there. He'd watched mother vanish forever!_

Asuka felt his muscles lock rigid and lifter her head up. "Shinij?"

"I was there! I saw it! Mother!"

"What?"

Shinji spilled it all out. The lab, the Contact Experiment, his mother... vanishing. The panic. His father just dumping him at a railway station a few days later, beginning years of near-isolation. Then nothing, abandoned by his father for years, until the summons to come to Tokyo-3 again.

Asuka stared, holding him. "Jesus Christ... you _are_ just like me." She looked suspicious. "Shinji, what are the _odds_ we'd both see our mothers die like that? Call me paranoid, but this is... it strains coincidence and then some to think it would happen to both of us like that and then we'd meet like this? Yes, we're both tied to the Evangelion program, but still... this wasn't a couple of accidents, I don't think."

Shinji nodded, still shaking and clinging to her like a drowning man to a life raft. "N-no. It's... we're so alike... it... this can't be coincidence."

Asuka nodded. "There's something else going on here. We have to find out what. There's too much _weird_ around NERV." She squeezed him tight. "But we're not going to figure it out tonight. Right now... I don't care. We'll have to keep our eyes open. As long as I've got you, the rest can go to Hell."

Shinji managed a single, sad laugh. He understood that feeling. "Asuka... if I didn't have you, I'd be... a nobody. I'd go crazy. You're the best thing in my whole world. I won't let anything take that away."

"Good." Asuka laid her head back down, gently stroking a hand along his temple. "You're just like me, Third Child. And we've got to take on the Angels and whatever's behind this 'coincidence.' And for once, I'm looking forward to taking it all on _together._"


	19. Ch 17 - Advent Pt 1

**Chapter 8.1**

**Advent**

.

Shinji's face flashed through a kaleidoscope of emotions as Asuka laid out the evidence that had led to her thunderbolt conclusion. The feelings they got when they synched with their Evas. The sensation of a second person behind Hikari in Unit-03, that she'd claimed was her mother. The way no one else in their class had a living mother. And most damningly, the impossible coincidence of both their mothers vanishing or going mad after their Contact Experiments, and each of them being assigned as the respective Pilot.

"Hikari said it herself; Eva Pilots are one in a billion... and the next one after us just happened to be someone we go to school with? That can't be coincidence..."

Shinji just held her and stared a million miles away. His face twisted in anger and he started to shake.

"He _**knows**__._ He has to!" he growled.

"Who?"

"My _father_. He has to know this! He was at the recovery site for Unit-01 before they even got us out of Unit-03, but he wasn't there for Rei! He stayed around after she was sent to meet us at the hospital, she said! And he was still there when we left! He sent me away right after the Experiment, but stayed where Unit-01 was! He _has_ to know Mother is in there! So why hasn't he _said_ anything?!"

Asuka stared right back at him. It was... it had to be true. And that meant someone had to know about her mother too... and no one had breathed a word. She could sort of see _why_ you'd keep it a secret: no one who did know would want to admit the Evangelions were essentially powered by human sacrifice and broken Children... And keeping it from them, the Pilots, was almost as important.

"We're already broken enough, Shinji. Telling us we're basically using the souls of our mothers to make the Evas run is... well that leaves us where we are now. Confused, pissed, and wondering why..."

Shinji blinked at her for a moment, then pulled her close and buried his face in her hair. "You're just like me... I... I wish I was as smart as you, Asuka. You're... you're not freaking out like I am."

Asuka squeezed her eyes shut and pushed the tears that wanted to escape back. "Baka-Shinji... You know what I'm feeling too. I'm just keeping ahead of it by keeping my brain occupied. Like... who else knows? Your father... Vice Commander Fuyutsuki... Doctor Akagi has to. No one knows more about how the Evas work then them. They at least have to know. I bet those creepy old men on the Human Instrumentality Committee who interrogated me know too. They're your father's bosses, they've got to."

Asuka felt herself starting to shake. _'No no no no do not start losing it, Soryu... Mama! Mama, you have always been with me! MAMA!'_

"So now what?" Shinji's strangely calm question snapped her out of it. "My father clearly isn't telling me anything. What do we do? Try to see if the Vice Commander will talk to us? He's always with my father, so probably not. The Committee isn't even in Japan. So... Doctor Akagi? Or... I don't even know. Please tell me you've got an idea, Asuka."

"I..." She thought furiously, forcing herself to stay focused. "I... We need to... the next time we're in our Evas, we need to try directly contacting them. There's _some_ level of communication. When I... when I formed a thought like I was talking to Mama, there was a noticeable jump in my Synch Rate, remember? On some level, they can hear us... we... we have to try talking to _them_. They're not gone... they're _in there._" _'Oh Gott oh Gott oh Gott, Mama I want to see you so bad please please please be there...'_

"But Misato-san said the Evas are all so mashed up it will be weeks of repairs before any of them but Unit-03 is in shape to do anything. It... we're not going to get a chance for a while," Shinji said sadly.

_'Nonononononono I want Mama now now now now n- Stop. Get a __**grip**__, Soryu, before your actual grip crushes your boyfriend's ribs.'_ She forced her almost painfully tight grip on Shinji to relax. "Fine. We... we deal with it. We talk to... shit... Rei. She said she didn't know her mother. We need to tell her. And then I think we need to go with Misato when she visits Doctor Drugging-Our-Best-Friend-Until-She-Can-Barely-Blink and see what we can find out without _telling_ her we know. Because I don't think that blonde witch doctor is going to suddenly find it in her heart to tell us why they've been hiding this from us for ten years..."

"Rei... oh gods... she said she didn't know what happened to her mother... I bet we know now..." Shinji whispered, fresh horror on his face.

Asuka nodded. "We have to tell her. She has as much right to know as we do. And then figure out what we do next."

"I... Misato-san doesn't know. She's not the kind of person who'd hide it from us," Shinji said, half to himself. "She... she'll have an idea of what to do."

Asuka barked a laugh as an idea hit her. Shinji pulled back to look at her with an expression of confusion. "We have to tell Misato about us by then end of the week. If we combine that with telling her about our mothers, it might distract her so much she'll forget to tell us to stop sleeping together. I'm sure she'll be trying to stop us, not that we're going to let that happen. At the very least, we can point out that we saved the fucking world _again_ this afternoon, despite Commander Asshole's attempt to fire us, so they can cut us enough slack that we can sleep where we want to."

"I hope so," Shinji said softly. "I don't know how long I could stand sleeping without you next to me. Especially after... gods, Asuka. _They're alive!_ Mother..."

Asuka swallowed and laid her head down on his shoulder, cuddling in closer. "Yeah... we're not going to get any sleep for a while, I can tell, but just... right now, I'm really glad you're here with me. Even more than most nights, I'm glad I'm not alone. Holding you keeps me from running around screaming about this... you know what Mama means to me. And I know what yours must mean to you."

Shinji nodded. "I'd be... I don't know what I'd be without you anymore, Asuka. But I know I wouldn't like it or myself very much." He held her and sighed. "I... gods, what a day. But they're... not really dead. They're in there. And knowing that is... this whole day is worth it just for that."

Asuka nodded. "They're not dead. And if we can get Hikari out, we'll find a way to get them out too. I may have watched them bury Mama's body, but if her _soul_ is still in there... there's hope. And I really want to introduce her to my boyfriend." She managed a small smile in the darkness.

"Oh... um... yeah..." Shinji suddenly sounded nervous.

Asuka laughed softly. "Relax, baka. She'll love you, I'm sure. The fearless boy who stands with me in battle, who killed an Angel with me and Mama within hours of meeting? The one who makes me happy and holds me at night? The one I chose and love? The first and only person to love me since Mama went away? You'll do fine. I just want Mama to approve of you."

Shinji just chuckled weakly. "I... I'm still freaked out a bit, Asuka, but now it's over the terror of being presented to my girlfriend's mom... Thank you."

"You are welcome, my sweet baka. Now hold me until we can sleep." Her tone aimed for sharp and arrogant, but her fierce cling told a different story.

"Yes, dear," he said with a calmer smile than possible just a few minutes before.

.

XXX

.

The interior of the Geofront was dark at night under the best of circumstances. With all the damage to the surface from the battle and a partly cloudy night, it should have been even darker than usual. But the area around each battered Eva blazed with light from all the spotlights set up, turning each recovery site into a multi-shadowed work zone brighter than daylight.

And in the center of the swirl of activity around Unit-01 was a black shadow, in its own bubble of silence.

He had been there for hours, since within a few minutes of the end of the battle. Not saying very much, but standing at the eye of the storm, recovery workers and Eva technicians swirling around him. But even in his silence, every worker there felt his stare burning into the back of their heads as the struggled to first extract the Entry Plug, then start prying away at the smashed power coupling, trying to get Unit-01 repaired enough to move it to the Cages for the far more extensive work that would be needed to get it combat-worthy again.

And they worked at full speed. The icy, burning stare of Commander Ikari permitted no less. Only one man was even partly immune to that stare; partly by virtue of the fact he spent much of his time standing behind the man, but largely because he remembered the days before the glasses. It's hard to ever forget it when your first meeting with the man is posting his bail for drunken assault and battery.

His lack of the tension the Commander's presence brought to everyone else was much of the reason the recovery staff would approach the Sub-Commander first when they had reports and updates meant for the Commander. Gendo himself appeared to like it that way anyhow. It let him preserve the isolation from others that he preferred. For all the intimidating aura and magisterial silence Commander Ikari surrounded himself with, Kozo Fuyutsuki knew better than anyone still alive how much Gendo avoided dealing with other people as much as he could. Fear of intimacy, anger, even shyness... the reasons why no longer really mattered. The effect was so established no one even thought about it anymore. Outside of formal reporting situations, nearly everyone went to the Sub-Commander whenever the option was available.

Fuyutsuki accepted a clipboard full of reports from the recovery team leader with a grave nod and paged through it before turning to Commander Ikari. "They've managed to get the damaged plating away from the Main Systems Access Point and hook in. Despite all the damage the inner layer held. The Core is intact, all readings as normal." He handed the clipboard to Gendo for him to check any details he liked.

The Commander glanced through it, his eyes missing little, but the important question had already been answered. The only question Gendo really cared about, would ever care about. _'Yui was alright.'_ He passed the clipboard back to Fuyutsuki with a nod and returned to starting at the mangled form of Unit-01.

The Evangelion had taken so much damage from the battle, fall from the surface, and then being tossed against NERV HQ that it would likely be days before they managed to get it moved into the Cages for the real repair work could begin. Gendo had arrived on scene almost before the sounds of the fight had faded and assumed command of the recovery. It had taken them almost an hour just to remove the armor cap covering the Entry Plug slot and use the emergency ejection systems to get Rei out. Gendo had closely supervised the process, but once Rei had been rescued from the Entry Plug and confirmed to be only mildly injured, he'd simply ordered her sent on to the hospital and turned his focus back to the Core team. He had not even seen Rei personally.

Fuyutsuki shook his head. Of course Gendo was more worried about Yui's status, but it had still taken hours to get to the Access Point to do even a remote check. The Eva's prone position and scarred and melted armor prevented them from a more direct check, and even when Rei had been extracted they'd known it would be hours before they could know. It was unsurprising Gendo had been unable to remove himself from the recovery site, though. Fuyutsuki knew how Gendo's obsession ruled him. Rei might have deserved at least a moment's attention, though, or his son...

The old professor's train of thought was interrupted by the trilling of the cell phone in his uniform pocket. He pulled it out and listened to the call from Central Dogma with a hard expression. He sighed tiredly as he ended the call and turned to Commander Ikari.

"The Old Men are summoning us. They want an explanation for all this, right now," he said quietly. No one but the Commander needed to hear this.

Gendo merely grunted, still staring at Unit-01.

"They've been waiting for us for a while..." Fuyutsuki prodded his onetime student.

Gendo finally turned away from staring at the crippled Evangelion. "The Core is intact. We could not depart before that. Now we can go and deal with the Old Men."

He led the way back towards the damaged NERV HQ pyramid.

.

XXX

.

"Ikari, the MAGI report extensive damage to the surface defenses and that the Angel was able to penetrate the Geofront before it was stopped. Explain how this was allowed to happen," boomed the voice of SEELE-02.

Gendo did not let his annoyance show on his face. He simply stared levelly over his hands at the blank holographic monolith with SOUND ONLY printed on it.

"The Angel, designated Zeruel, proved to be extremely swift and powerful. It appeared on our sensors close in and approached Tokyo-3 too quickly to deploy the Evangelions further out. They engaged the Angel in the city itself. Units 00 and 02 deployed under Dummy Plug control. The Angel disabled them in short order. Pilot Ayanami in Unit-01 damaged the Angel, but it drove her through one of the Geofront Access points. At that point damage to Unit-01 from the fall made it necessary to activate Unit-03 as an emergency measure to continue the battle. Unit-01 and -03 then destroyed the Angel," Gendo said calmly.

"We ordered Unit-03 frozen due to suspected Angelic contamination! The Fourth Child was missing and there was no Dummy Plug readied for it! How did you activate it?" SEELE-05 questioned angrily.

Gendo had to fight to keep his jaw from tightening. This would not be easy to dress up. "The Second and Third Children sortied in Unit-03. "

"The Second and Third Children were dismissed from Piloting. You assured us the Dummy Plugs made their services unnecessary in light of their insubordination and inability to follow orders. Explain," demanded SEELE-08.

"Unit-01 was effectively crippled from damage at that point. The Second and Third Children were temporarily reactivated as Pilots."

SEELE-07 sounded incredulous. "That worked? They managed to activate Unit-3 without a related soul in the Core?"

"Yes," Gendo grated. The fight for internal control was still occupying most of his willpower.

"How? How did the Pilots maintain a link with an unfamiliar soul without specialized training?"

"They achieved dual-Synch. Their combined Synchronization Rate was sufficient to deploy Unit-03 and engage the Angel. Their acquaintance with the Fourth Child was enough under those conditions to maintain a minimum Synch with the Evangelion. Additionally, the Fourth Child...was recovered from the Core of Unit-03 at the conclusion of the battle. I have ordered her secured under observation in the Geofront hospital until further notice. The extraction of the Fourth Child makes it unlikely the Second and Third Children can Pilot Unit-03 any longer."

He bit down on any expression or feeling escaping his control. He could not let anything show. Not now, not to these men. But it was hard, so hard...

_'She came out. She CAME OUT. It is __**possible**__! How? How did the Third Child do it? Yui...'_

He forced the thought down. Not now, not now.

He'd been silent too long. The old men took that as the end of his answer.

"How did you recover the Fourth Child from Unit-03's Core? That has never been done!" said SEELE-03.

"Unknown." Gendo said with as little tone as possible. "She reconstituted in the Entry Plug at the end of the combat alert." _'I wish I knew. It can be done! Yui! I will get you out of there! Wait for me!'_

"If it was not by NERV's action, the possibility of Angelic contamination of the Fourth Child is too high for safety. She is to be removed from Piloting an Evangelion until examination proves she is clear," rumbled the unmistakable, dusty voice of Lorenz Kihl from the SEELE-01 monolith. "Your estimates of the performance of the Dummy Plug System were obviously too high, Ikari. The Second and Third Children are to be commended for their efforts and permanently reactivated."

"The Second and Third are poorly suited to following orders. The Dummy Plugs are far more reliable," Gendo protested coolly.

SEELE-01 was implacable. "Yet they failed in combat against the Angel, and you were saved only by the Children. The Dummy Plugs are not sufficient. You are not to field them while you have Children available with superior performance. If the Second and Third Children are not adequately responding to orders, find ways to convince them it is in their best interest to do so."

"So who will Pilot Unit-03, if the Fourth Child is a contamination risk?"

"We will send you the Fifth Child," SEELE-01 said.

_'Fifth Child? So soon after we 'found' the Fourth? Kihl has to know I will regard anyone they send as a spy. And he knows I know that.'_

Gendo let no outward sign of displeasure show. "Very well. We will prepare Unit-03's Core for Synchronization with a new Pilot." He paused. "And how will the Fifth Child Synchronize with Unit-03?" he asked, perfectly cool.

"The Fifth Child is trained for Synchronization with unfamiliar Cores," SEELE-01 said, just as cool. "You will use him." It was an order.

"Understood."

The monoliths faded away. The lights in the room brightened just enough to show Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki standing a few meters behind Gendo.

"The Fifth Child," the old professor said. "Well before we expected."

"SEELE is playing their card early. Alert Section 2 to prepare for increased surveillance on the Fifth as soon as they arrive. They will not be just a Pliot, I am certain," Gendo ordered as he brushed past the older man on his way out the door.

"I am going to question the Fourth Child. She _must _know something."

The door slid shut behind him, leaving Fuyutsuki in the dim room alone. He sadly shook his head. "Ikari... eleven years and you still can't accept that maybe this is what Yui chose?"

.

XXX

.

"Come on, Asuka. We need to get up."

The mass of red hair that was all he could see of his girlfriend shook against his chest. "Dun wanna. Cmfy. Wrm."

Shinji let his head drop back onto the pillow. "We need to get up before Misato wakes up and catches us, you know that."

"'ive mur mntes..." she mumbled.

"Asuka... we're going to get caught..." Shinji tried to protest, but he didn't try very hard to get up either.

"We're already caught, Shinji. Kaji's going to tell Misato on Sunday. That's why we've got to kick in my plan to set up telling her ourselves." Asuka's voice was more intelligible as she finally lifted her head up to frown at him. "So I want to soak in all the time like this I can just in case Misato still tries to separate us."

"How about we get up because we've got something important to tell Rei?" he asked gently.

Asuka's eyes went from sleepy to alert in a hurry. "Oh, yeah... damn..." She sat up, the blankets piling around her waist. "Arg. Alright, I'm up. You scoot to your room, and I'll be out as soon as I hear you say the coast is clear."

Shinji cracked the room's door open the tiniest hair, and confirmed there were no NERV Majors around to see him. He ducked across the hallway to his seldomly used room. It was little more than a storage closet for his clothes at this point. He hadn't spent the night in there in weeks, something he was just as happy about. He still dusted it compulsively, both for his own habits of cleanliness, and to make sure it still looked like he was still sleeping there if Misato ever checked.

Fifteen minutes of dressing and getting ready for the day brought Asuka to the kitchen as he worked on breakfast. "Any sign of Misato?" she asked, walking in like they hadn't yet spoken for the day.

"No," Shinji shook his head.

Asuka glanced back over her shoulder at the living room and the door to Misato's room. "Hang on."

She walked over and quietly opened the door a slit. "She's not even here, Shinji. Her futon's not even disturbed from when you made it. Looks like she stayed overnight at the Geofront again."

"She does that too much," Shinji frowned.

Asuka shrugged as she came back to the kitchen. "It's hard on her, but we just had a major Angel attack smash things up, so it's hardly a surprise. And..." She slid up behind Shinji. "No Misato means I can do this." She carefully planted a kiss on the back of his neck as she wrapped her arms around him.

"EEeee!" Shinji gasped as the sensation sent a shiver up his spine. "Hot pan! No fair!"

"The fact you just have to stand there and take it is half of the funny," Asuka laughed.

They ate in comfortable silence. Asuka calmed a little as the morning's tasks bubbled across her thoughts. "We ready to tell Rei about where her mother probably is?"

Shinji hesitated, but nodded. "Yeah. I was... I thought we might do it after breakfast. I thought she'd have come over by now, actually." He looked towards the hallway to the front door.

"Pack up hers, she might feel more comfortable doing it at her own apartment, and that will prevent Misato coming home in the middle of it. I don't want to spring that one on her until we're ready to tell her about us too. Hopefully the distraction will keep her from flipping out over us as badly as she could."

Shinji nodded and wrapped up Rei's portion of breakfast for the trip to her apartment. It may have been literally next door, but Shinji still made sure it was ready for a little walk.

Asuka slipped her shoes on as they paused at the door. "I hope... Gott, Shinji, what she said yesterday? I mean... she _loves_ us? I... what do we even say about that?"

Shinji nervously looked at the floor. "I... you're all I want, Asuka, you know that. But Rei... I..." His head came back up and he smiled cautiously. "You're just like me. You're too amazed at the idea that _another_ person might love you to feel bad about it, but not... you can't even think about handling more than one..."

Asuka nodded. "But you still care about her, if not like... that. And you'd never want to hurt her by... slamming the door on her."

Shinji's smile was a little surer. "So let's be careful when we tell her that she's still our friend no matter what."

Asuka nodded and took his hand as she hit the button to open the door. "Then let's ge-" She froze.

The doorway was occupied. The tall Section 2 agent lowered his hand from the doorbell and stared at the Children. "Pilots Soryu and Ikari. Commander Ikari requires your presence immediately. You will come with us now."

.

XXX

.

_'I'm getting pretty tired of this creepy damn office and it's creepy damn inhabitant,'_ Asuka thought to herself as they were frogmarched in by the severely taciturn Section 2 goons that had picked them up. _'Kabbalistic diagrams in the floor and ceiling, overuse of black and red in the decor, making us stand 40m from his fricking desk... is the world's most powerful emo goth wannabe afraid we'll give him cooties if we stand too close, or just notice that his desk is covered in bad poetry and porn?'_

The guards stopped them a bit more than halfway across the vast emptiness of the office, still at least 30m from the desk. She and Shinji were standing just a bit apart. Asuka carefully schooled her expression to a mix of calm and disdainful. Where once she'd have regarded standing in front of Commander Ikari as a chance for praise as an Eva Pilot or recognition of her superiority over the others, now it was an exercise in restraining the urge to sneer at him. Commander Ikari was now firmly and irrevocably relabeled 'Commander Asshole' in her head. Firing her and Shinji after they'd saved the day and Hikari? Kicking her out from the job she'd trained her whole life for? And treating Shinji, _her Shinji_, like castoff trash?

_'Ok, ok, I was maybe a bit of a bitch to him myself back when I couldn't figure out why he was on my mind so much, but I'm making up for it now!'_ she admitted to herself. _'And Gott, do I wish we could hold hands right now. I don't know why Commander Asshole wants us, but I'd feel better, and I like the idea of rubbing our happiness in his stupid face. My baka doesn't need you anymore, you bastard. He's got me, and Wondergirl and Misato now, people who like him. You treat him like shit for ten years and suddenly decide you need his services? And oh, by the way, __**never fucking mention our MOTHERS are in our Evas**__?! You can go shove an Entry Plug up your ass.'_

Commander Ikari just stared at them for a moment over his folded hands.

Asuka stared right back, determined to wait him out.

"The UN Committee that oversees NERV ordered you both be commended for your actions in the battle with the Fourteenth Angel, designated Zeruel," the Supreme Commander of NERV eventually began. "As directed: Second Child, Third Child. Good work."

Asuka stared, barely keeping her jaw from dropping. _'That's it? He had us dragged down here by his pet Gestapo so he could give us the world's most token commendation after he'd be _ordered_ to?'_

"Your actions aided the First Child's successful defense of NERV HQ. You are both hereby returned to active Pilot status. Until the damage to Unit-01 and Unit-02 have been repaired, in the event of another Angel attack you will both be sortied in Unit-03, in the absence of another Pilot." he went on in the same tone.

Asuka's heart skipped. _'Wait... what? We... we're back? I'm a Pilot again?'_ She couldn't help snapping her head to the side to meet Shinji's eyes. He was just as wide-eyed as her. _'We're Pilots again! We can get in to see Mama! We...wait...'_

Asuka did her best to pin Commander Ikari with a sharp look. "Unit-03? 'In the absence of another Pilot'? We rescued Hikari! Why the two of us instead of her? We're a lot better tactically, I'm sure, but isn't Unit-03 _her_ Evangelion?" _'And if that really was Hikari's mother we felt in there behind her, doesn't that mean Unit-03 will _only_ work for Hikari?'_

"The Fourth Child has been removed from active Pilot status," he said with no change of tone. "You will jointly Pilot Unit-03 until your usual Evangelions are repaired to combat effectiveness."

"Why remove her? She was just fine at the hospital yesterday!" _'Which you might even know if you'd bothered to visit her or Rei or __**us**__ while we were there. But no, you spent all evening at Unit-01's recovery site...'_ Asuka managed to keep a sudden wave of surprise off her face. _'Oh holy shit... __**that's**__ why he was so intent on checking out Unit-01 yesterday! He wasn't checking on the Evangelion, he was checking on Shinji's __**mother**__!'_ Asuka clenched her fist hard enough she could feel her nails digging into her palm nearly hard enough to draw blood. _'Mama's Core wasn't hit, she's okay. She's okay, damn it! And Commander Asshole here wouldn't be so calm if anything had happened to Shinji's mother, so she must be alright too.'_

"She was absorbed into the Core of Unit-03 when it was corrupted by the Thirteenth Angel, designated Bardiel. Until such time as she is confirmed completely clear of any Angelic corruption or infection, she will not be allowed near an Evangelion Unit and confined."

The words were just as cold and calm as everything else he'd said, but Asuka felt like there was something else behind them, somehow. Her eyes narrowed. "Confined? She didn't do anything wrong!"

"She is a potential threat to NERV and humanity. She will be quarantined until we are satisfied she is not." Gendo's voice was hard and cold as a glacier.

"You can't just lock her up like that! She's fine! We talked to her yesterday in the hospital! Perfectly normal!"

"You spoke to her in the hospital," Gendo echoed. His glasses glinted in the dimly reflected sunlight slanting in through the room's huge windows. "And what did she say?" His tone was somehow very, very interested in what she was about to say without changing at all.

Asuka had the sudden feeling she was midway across a tightrope that she'd just noticed. _'Shit... 'Um, the fact her mother's soul pushed her out of the Eva's Core, and that she is very much aware Shinji and I are as intensely in love as we can be? Yeah, the two topics I __**least**__ want to mention to Commander Asshole. Think fast, Soryu.'_

"Just... normal stuff. Did she feel ok, did she remember everything, did she remember _us_, everything Hikari should know or feel... that was _her_, not any Angel!" she dissembled.

"You are an Evangelion Pilot, Second Child. Not an expert on Metaphysical Biology or Angelic contamination. My order is prudent precaution. There can be no unnecessary risks in the battle against the Angels. The Fourth Child will remain in quarantine until we are satisfied she is clear. You and the Third Child will Pilot Unit-03 until your Evangelions are repaired. If the Fourth Child is still not cleared at that time, the Fifth Child will take over Pilot duties for Unit-03."

"The..._Fifth_ Child?" Shinji asked, the first thing he'd said since they entered.

Asuka could almost feel Commander Ikari's stare shift to Shinji. "The Fifth Child will be departing NERV-Berlin shortly. On his arrival, you will familiarize him with Unit-03."

Again, Asuka couldn't stop herself from sharing a look with Shinji. _'What 'Fifth Child'? There was no Fifth Child when I left NERV-Berlin three months ago! And putting them in Unit-03? How does that fit with our mother-child link theory for the Pilots?'_

Asuka could see Shinji's fists tighten at his sides. "Of course, _father_. Is there anything else you want from us right now?"

"No. Leave." Gendo dismissed them from his attention.

Asuka watched Shinji bristle for a second, then turned for the door with him. _'As warm and loving as ever, Commander Asshole. You can go to Hell. I'm going to give Shinji all the love you never did.'_

They said nothing, walking away from the Commander's office as fast as they could in perfect unconscious step. The Section 2 guards that had dragged them down here were waiting at the elevators. "We're taking you back to Major Katsuragi's apartment," one rumbled. It was not a question.

Asuka was perfectly fine with it anyhow. They really needed to talk to Rei. "Fine. Hurry up," she snapped right back at them.

Not being able to take Shinji's hand made the trip home feel even longer than it should have.


	20. Ch 18 - Advent Pt 2

"Rei, you awake?" Asuka called as they entered Ayanami's apartment. They hadn't needed to knock. Rei had told them to consider the place as much their home as hers when she moved in, and made sure they had one of the spare keycards. As much time as Rei spent in their apartment, it sometimes felt like they all lived in one large place anyhow.

But only silence greeted them. Asuka shot Shinji a look, confused. He shrugged in reply and followed her around the corner of the entrance hallway into the kitchen area.

Rei's apartment was a mirror-flip of Misato's, so it didn't take them long to search it completely. No blunette First Child anywhere. On returning to the kitchen Shinji spotted the note lying on the table. "Asuka, look over here. I think she left a note."

Asuka walked over next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder as he read it out. "Dear Asuka and Shinji, I have been summoned by Commander Ikari to NERV HQ for the quarterly full scan of my brain. I will also undergo several additional procedures to speed my healing from the injuries of this past battle that will likely keep me there until Saturday. I am sorry I will be out of touch for so long."

There was a gap, and near the bottom of the page was added in more hurried writing: "I will miss you both. Love, Rei." That last was added almost by itself in the corner, the words themselves all but giving the impression of fleeing in embarrassment.

"Looks like it's on her mind too," Asuka said softly. "And 'quarterly full scan of my brain'? What the Hell are they doing to her?"

Shinji frowned, puzzled. "Why would they be scanning her brain? And quarterly?"

"She mentioned a couple days ago that the Dummy Plugs were based on scans of her brain. I guess they want to try for an upgrade after their unimpressive performance against that last Angel," Asuka said.

"I guess this is why she used to be out from school for days at a time, but never said a word. It must have been NERV stuff like this." Shinji frowned harder. "She just never had anyone to tell it to that she would miss, before."

"Or that would miss her. Damn..." Asuka said. "Never thought I'd be missing having Wondergirl around."

Shinji's frown faded and he smiled a little. "I wouldn't have bet on it, no. Well... this is still weird. But if we can't talk to her all week, then now what?"

"We've still only got that long to set up Misato to accept us as a couple, and the idea that we're... um... not going to stop sleeping together. We saved the damn world again, I think that earns us the right to sleep where and with who we want." Asuka set her jaw firmly as she finished.

"Misato-san's not going to like that, I can tell," Shinji worried.

"She can damn well learn to live with it," Asuka retorted. "We saved the world. Again. That has to earn us something. And like we did with Kaji, we can point out empirical evidence that you and I are way better since we got together. So we're going to get this. I really, _really_ want this. I..." Asuka's mouth twisted and she looked away. "It was hard enough being apart for a few nights when he was babysitting us while Misato was gone. I don't want to even think about having to be apart for longer."

Shinji glanced downward at a hint of motion. Asuka's hand was shaking. He took it and squeezed it until it eased. "So… we do this right. We convince Misato-san that she _has_ to let us stay together. We saved the world _again_. That has to count for something. And Misato-san more than anyone has seen what its like when the two of us are in one Entry Plug, and knows how strong we are together."

A sudden blazing grin took over Asuka's face. "Damn right! Together, we are _unstoppable_! She'd better acknowledge that!" Asuka bounced on her heels and suddenly wrapped Shinji in a tight hug. "We're _Pilots_ _again!_ We're back in action! Even your stupid father can't keep us away from our Evas!"

Shinji returned the hug just as hard. "Yeah… I'll never find the same kind of joy in battle you do, Asuka, but I'm never leaving your side. To the end of the world. So if we have to convince Misato-san to stay together, then we do it. That's… that's all there is to it."

Asuka gave him a quick kiss. "That's the spirit, my dearest baka. And this means once they get the repairs done, we're back in the Entry Plugs and… we can try talking to our mothers." Shinji could feel her nearly vibrating in his embrace. "Gott, Shinji, I can't wait to talk to Mama! She's alive, she's alive, she's alive!"

Shinji just held her and smiled. Her enthusiasm was helping buttress his own tangled feelings about trying to contact his own mother. The last time he could remember being _happy _before he and Asuka had kissed was when his mother had held him, years ago. But… as much as he wanted to see her again, the last time had been that experiment… It had been an accident, surely? But if so, and they knew that people could come back out like Hikari, why hadn't his mother? Or Asuka's? Did they just not know how? How had Hikari managed to do it? And… would his mother still… be his mother? Remember him, want anything to do with him? It was tantalizing to have the chance to see her again, but… after so many years of loneliness, it was scary to contemplate being loved again. He still felt like it was some kind of impossibly lucky dream that Asuka loved him. The idea that Rei did as well was still too new and crazy to wrap his head around. But his mother? It was still… kind of scary.

He pushed the thought aside. That was, for better or worse, something that wouldn't even be available to them until their Evas were repaired enough to sit in again. For now… "So how do we convince her?"

Asuka's grin took on a sharp edge. "Oh, I've got some ideas. We've got a week to mess with her head and get her used to the idea that you and I can not only get along but that we're _massively_ more potent when we are together like we are now, with all that entails. That's the practical end. But first, we need to mess with her worldview. She thinks we're attracted to each other, but haven't admitted it, right? So we start by breaking _that _idea up, and making her unsure about what she _thinks_ she knows about us."

Shinji nodded. "Ok, so what's our first plan?"

"Strip chess."

Shinji stared at his gorgeous, brilliant girlfriend for a long moment. "What."

"Strip chess. And you're going to lose."

.

XXX

.

_The phone rang at precisely 0700, as it always did. "Yes?"_

"_Rei, we are rescheduling your quarterly upload to this week. Come to Terminal Dogma immediately," said the deep, gravelly voice she had obeyed her entire life. _

"_Yes," she responded automatically. A reflex, no thought to it._

_The call ended with a click. There was no order for secrecy, no warning to drop everything and move. It had never been necessary. Anything less had never before even been a thought to Rei._

_Now it was. Her friends were coming to see her today. They had promised to discuss the battle… and Rei's confession of her feelings. Rei feared yet eagerly awaited that talk. Now, it would be seriously delayed, and her sudden departure could leave her friends with an impression that she had fled in fear. Rei very much did not want to give them that idea._

_She looked around and grabbed a piece of paper, jotting down a brief note on where she was going to be all week. Then her pen froze. There was so much more she wanted to say, but she had no idea where to begin. Even putting the words down made her start to blush. She hurriedly scrawled down something, and had to force herself to squeeze out the last few words, a once perfunctory statement now full of new meaning._

_Placing the note carefully on the table, she fled for the train that would take her down to the Geofront, grateful no one could see her face._

Rei had once looked forward to the quarterly scan process. Floating in LCL, hardly needing to move or breathe at all, and under firm instructions to clear her mind and not think, the quarterly scans were as close as she could come to the silent bliss of oblivion she so longed for. She didn't have to talk to anyone, endure the harsh rasping of their AT-Fields against the ragged edge of her fractured soul, pretend that she didn't feel an unnamable pain every moment of her existence… all she had to do was her best to stop thinking or feeling at all.

It had been a sweet refuge, as close to peace as she could come.

Had been.

Now, all Rei could think about was the people who weren't here, the people she wanted to see. She was floating calmly in the tube, Doctor Akagi and the Commander watching her as always, and for the first time she wished she was somewhere else. Her thoughts kept nervously running back over yesterday.

She'd _told them._ And they hadn't… rejected her, or been upset. They… did not mind her saying it. It was… Rei had never felt like this before. She wanted to be back with them as soon as she could-

"Rei, focus. We're getting too much thought noise for the Stage 3 scans," Doctor Akagi snapped at her. The faux-blonde scientist narrowed her eyes at the readouts on the console in front of her. "This data is no good. We're going to have to restart this sequence from step 108. Clear your mind."

"Yes, Doctor." Rei tried to school her face to the blank vagueness she always showed. It was hard. _They accepted her! Her friends cared for her and knew her feelings!_

They had become so much to her. Just being able to be near them all the time made her feel better, more alive. And watching their bond grow and deepen with every week was the most beautiful thing Rei had ever seen. They _glowed_ in her eyes, the bond between their souls like a crackling aurora. It made Rei feel happier just to watch them.

Um. To watch them. The cessation of the numbing drugs had removed the fog clouding her mind... and her body. She had begun exploring the idea of physicality with Classmate Ai-... with Kensuke, and then furthered her investigations by hugging Asuka and Shinji. She had discovered that hugging someone you cared about was far more intense than just a friend, and that... she really, _really _liked hugging Asuka and Shinji. A lot. And wanted more. That she knew there was no space in their bond for her in that manner made her somewhat sad, but she desired it nonetheless.

Rei rolled the thought around in her head. She had determined that she had a definite physical attraction to Shinji, but had also discovered a matching one for the Second Child. She had become very aware that she would not mind further physical contact with the vibrant redhead or the Third Child, or even both. She knew there was a social stigma attached to same-sex attractions, but that barely concerned her. She'd never worried much over social conventions. No more than she had to in order to get by, anyhow. But she didn't want anything to disrupt her ability to be with Shinji and Asuka as much as possible. So she restrained herself.

It was more difficult every day, though. Her feelings for her friends grew every time she saw them, even more so when they went into the chaos and peril of battle. In that last battle, when the Angel was about to blast them, she'd broken through some barrier, some restraint on her inner self that she hadn't even known was there until it nearly shattered under the force of her desire to save her friends from harm. It was that breakthrough and the recognition of how close she'd come to losing them that gave her the strength to tell them how she felt later.

So now they knew... and did not reject her. That was what made Rei the happiest of all. Even if they could not return her feelings the same way, they did not reject her. They might not be able to return her feelings because they were already so deeply entangled with each other, but it would be because of _that_, not because Rei was someone they couldn't love. It made Rei happier than she could even articulate that she now knew that love was possible for her. She might not have it yet, but it was _possible_ that one day she could look at someone like Shinji and Asuka looked at each other, and have that look returned.

Decision firmed in her chest. Her friends. Their love. The possibility of her own one day... They _had_ to be protected. Rei no longer wanted to see a world where any of those things could not exist. The Commander's Scenario for Instrumentality was no longer acceptable. Nor was SEELE's. There had to be another way. And Rei would fight for that path, the path that ensured her friends would live to be happy.

Doctor Akagi interrupted her thoughts once more. "Rei, try again. There's still too much signal noise."

"Yes, Doctor." Rei suppressed a small smile. It looked like there was no getting away from the direction of her thoughts, so she might as well stop thinking so hard, and just let them float more abstractly. That should let the signal noise Doctor Akagi was complaining about fade, and as a bonus, let Rei herself indulge in what was rapidly becoming her favorite way to let her mind drift away at night. That it would ensure that the scan and upload of any future copy of herself would be deeply enriched with impressions of her feelings for her friends was also a pleasant thought. She let her conscious mind quiet and different images take the fore.

_'Shinji's deep blue eyes... Asuka's crystal blue ones... her long red hair... his sensitive hands... her long legs, his compassion, her fire, her heat...'_

For the first time in her life, Rei Ayanami intensely wanted to feel the heat of the sun on her skin...

"Alright, that's better. The scans are coming through cleaner now. Keep that thought pattern, Rei," Doctor Akagi said approvingly.

_'This is going to be a long week...'_

.

XXX

.

Major Katsuragi groaned with fatigue and let her feet find their way to her apartment's door on autopilot. The immediate aftermath of any Angel battle was always an avalanche of paperwork and recovery mobilizations, but this one had been especially bad. Rei's stalwart defensive fight in the streets of Tokyo-3 had been prolonged, intense, and valiant, but it had also done more damage to the city than any fight since Shamshel. The damage to the Geofront hadn't been quite as bad, but any damage at all down there was ten times as complicated and costly as anything on the surface. Plus there was the recovery of all the Evas from where they lay at the end of the fight and the beginning of the estimates on the repairs to put them back in shape. Only Unit-03 could even plausibly fight right now, and it was still minus a forearm. As a result, she'd been working flat out for the last 18 hours straight, trying to get a handle on the worst of it, before she felt safe heading for home for at least a meal and a bit of rest.

'_A home-cooked meal from Shin-chan will be a good way to end this day. I think I'm going to fall right into bed after that. But first things first… check on the Children, then it's __**beer time**__,'_ she sighed. She swiped her keycard through the reader at her door and let Major Katsuragi fall away, and Misato arrive at home.

The door slid open with its usual _beep-swish_, but then silence rolled out at her. Not a peep of the usual TV noise or kitchen clatter she'd have expected from Shinji or Asuka at this point.

'_I don't know if I should be worried they've run away, or are making out on the couch. I figure it's got to go somewhere like that one of these days. Just ask her out, Shinji! Or Asuka, you do it! You think I can't see how you look at him when you think no one's looking, kiddo? This is… kind of weird, though.'_ Misato let her happy anticipatory thoughts of that first golden beer fade and crept quietly down the entrance hall and into the kitchen-dining area. Still silent.

A tiny sound made her freeze. _Click_. Followed shortly by a "Wark!" and another _click._

_'Pen Pen?'_ she wondered, slowly tiptoeing her way to where she could see into the living room. She did not expect what she saw.

Shinji sat on the floor, a chessboard in front of him. A couple of black chess pieces were on the floor on his side of the board. His top shirt, socks, and pants were neatly folded in a pile on the side of the board. Asuka sat on the opposite side of the board from his clothes, staring intently at the board, occasionally flicking glances at Shinji or his opponent, who had a burning, level stare, and far more captured white pieces on his side of the board.

Pen Pen was clearly dominating the match.

Misato's jaw dropped. _'...ok, why the Hell is Shinji playing and losing a chess match against Pen Pen? With half his clothes off?'_ She shook her head and stepped into the living room. "Ok, what's going on he-"

"SHHHH!" Asuka hissed at her. "It's Shinji's move! And quiet, I've got money on this!"

"I... what? What?" Misato tried to figure this out. No luck. "Asuka, why is Shinji playing and apparently _losing_ at chess against Pen Pen? And why is he out of half his clothes?"

"Baka Shinji here thought he was so cool for cooking dinner, 'doing all the things a mere penguin can't!', that Pen Pen got upset and pecked him in the leg. Then he challenged Shinji to a chess match. Baka Shinji tried to claim it wasn't fair, a human versus an animal. Pen Pen said he'd beaten you, and upped the stakes to strip chess, and spotted Shinji starting as White." Asuka raised an eyebrow at her. "Is that true? He beat you? And at strip chess?"

"I... may have been drunk," Misato admitted. "But... Pen Pen... what? How does... how does that even work? Pen Pen has _one _thing he wears." Misato rubbed her head, feeling her headache intensify.

"He hasn't lost the lead yet. He's literally beating the pants of the baka." Asuka pointed at Shinji's slacks at the bottom of the pile.

"And... you've got money on this?"

"I bet Pen Pen 2000 yen he couldn't beat Shinji in less than 40 moves. We're at 27 now, and the baka's losing. I may lose this unless he can find some better moves soon." She glared at Shinji. "And I'm not allowed to give him any hints."

"I... I..." Misato's brain gave up and reminded her she was tired and hungry. "Did Shinji get dinner done before this... whatever it is started, at least?"

Asuka kept staring at the board, but waved at the kitchen. "Of course he did. Wonder-chef here put a tray for you in the oven on low to keep it warm, and there's rice in the cooker."

_'I need a beer, right away...'_ Misato stumbled her way back to the kitchen.

"Hey, Misato! We saved the world yesterday! Can we have a raise in our allowance?" Asuka called after her.

_'A __**lot**__ of beer...'_

.

XXX

.

Major Katsuragi sighed. Tuesday had been almost as rough as Monday. The morning had brought a mild hangover, and a second avalanche of work as the crews began to tackle the rebuilding. The reports on the Evangelions had been even worse. Unit-02 needed all four limbs reattached, Unit-00 needed it's _head_ reattached, Unit-01 had more parts broken than intact, and Unit-03 was down one arm, possibly still Angel-contaminated, and only deployable with two of her best Pilots crammed into it at once.

_'God help us if another Angel like that shows up anytime soon. It's going to be __**weeks**__before we've got any of the other Evas in any kind of combat condition. At least Shinji and Asuka seem to be getting along well enough to make deploying them together possible. I'm still pissed that they've squirreled Rei away down in HQ somewhere for 'medical procedures'. Bullshit. Medical procedures so secret the Operations Commander can't even be allowed in to see her for a week? How am I supposed to look after my Pilots when I can't even see them?'_

Rei had been... a strange addition to their household, but Asuka, of all people, had been insistent on Rei being moved out of her old place. Once she'd seen where Rei had been... living, Misato could hardly disagree. And Ritsuko's order that the Children all strictly hang out together had strangely been really effective. All three of them got along much better than they had right after Asuka's arrival. Even Rei had opened up a little more. Naturally, Misato had not objected to Asuka's suggestion that they just take possession of the apartment next door to hers, empty since the resident fled in the wake of Shamshel tearing up the town.

Now Rei spent most nights hanging out at the apartment with Shinji, Asuka, and her. Their own weird little family. Misato would freely admit... to Kaji only, really, that she enjoyed it, having them all around. The apartment felt alive with them all there. She'd even drunk a bit less, not feeling so alone.

_'Well... less at home, anyhow. What the kids don't know I do with Kaji is just fine...'_ she smiled to herself. They were still calling it a just fling, at least in public, but unspoken between both she and Kaji was the tacit admission that they'd both like to... try again. That same powerful pull of attraction was still there for both of them, and he'd... grown up a little in ways that were even more attractive than before. Misato'd spent more than a couple nights at his place lately. He'd been out of sight since the fight, though, both of them too busy for more than fleeting text messages. His last had said he knew nothing about Rei, but was looking.

_'You better be available when I finally dig my way out from under this latest pile of paperwork, Kaji. We've got years of 'catching up' to do, and I don't like stopping just after we've started again. Eight years is one Hell of a dry spell, damn it.'_ God, she had a boyfriend again. No, she had _him_ again. She couldn't quite tell if watching Shinji and Asuka dance around each other and her own interest in getting them together was a cause or an effect, but she felt better than she had in years. Now if only she and Kaji didn't have the growing certainty that NERV was up to a lot more shit than was admitted...

She sighed, and swiped her card through the door's slot. Worry about it later. Home now, and time to relax. _'At least, relax if it's not as weird as last night.'_ She had her dinner, grabbed some beers, and retreated to her room while the match was still going. _'Tonight has to be less strange than that, right?'_

Silence again. She held her breath, slinking towards the living room, hoping it was different.

It was.

Asuka stared hard at Pen Pen over the chessboard. She was down to her tank top, short shorts, and one sock. Shockingly, her A-10 headset rested on the sloppy pile of clothes on the side of the board nearest Misato. A nervous looking Shinji sat on the opposite side. Pen Pen somehow managed to look smug sitting on Shinji's folded up pants and wearing Shinji's shirt like a shawl.

_'At least Shinji's still got shorts and a t-shirt?'_ Misato asked herself as she felt her head start to pound again. "Ok, what the heck is it _this _time?"

Asuka didn't turn. "Baka lost. I'm trying to win him back. I'm doing better than he was." Asuka waved at the pile of black pieces in front of her, about the same size as the one in front of Pen Pen.

Misato rubbed her temples again. "Win him _back_?"

"Pen Pen insisted on a serious bet. So either I win this, or the baka is Pen Pen's butler for the rest of the month, and I have to do all his chores."

"But I'm not even drunk yet..." Misato muttered to herself. "I can't really be seeing this, can I?" Taking a deep breath, she tried to make the situation make more sense. "Asuka, why is this still _strip_ chess? Didn't yesterday teach you two not to challenge him like that?"

"Flappy little bastard pointed out he was playing mostly naked to start, and called us chicken for trying to dodge it. Smug little punk..." Asuka eyed the warm springs penguin sharply. Pen Pen remained unflappable.

"But... gah... why are _you_ doing this? I'd have thought you'd be rolling on the floor at the spectacle of Shinji losing his shirt, literally. Why are you the one winning him and his clothes back?" Misato asked almost desperately. _Some_ part of this had to make sense.

"Baka Shinji's _mine_, not some cheeky penguin's servant!" Asuka growled, her eyes still on the board. Her hand snapped out, grabbed her queen's bishop, and took Pen Pen's last rook. "I will not see him forced to slave at the whims of a bird!"

"But you're just fine with him slaving at _your_ whims?" Misato asked, rubbing her head again. _'I need __**more**__ beer, damn it...'_

Asuka finally looked up at her, a slightly confused look on her face. "Well, duh. That's the way things are supposed to go. He's mine. He belongs to me," she said in a matter of fact tone. She looked back down at the board.

"D-dinner's in the oven again, Misato. Pen Pen says I can't leave until the match is done, since I'm the stakes," Shinji said. His quiet comment snapped Misato out of the shocked freeze Asuka's statment had blown her into.

"Uh, right, thanks, Shinji." She retreated to the kitchen in confusion. _'Did... did I just hear that? "He belongs to me"? That...that can't mean what it sounds like, right? Right?'_

She pulled the warm tray of teriyaki salmon out of the oven, and grabbed two... no, _four_ beers to go with it. _'Beer, please call my brain and let them know you'll be taking over until the world makes sense in here again?'_

.

XXX

.

Misato slowly trudged the last steps towards her door. Wednesday had been even more draining than the previous two days. The strange scenes she had been seeing at home weren't helping.

_'If I come home to one more strip chess match against a penguin, I think I'm going to need more than beer this time. At least I got home at a more reasonable hour this time. Maybe Shinji hasn't even started dinner. He's sure better than coming home to instant meals and ramen curry...'_

She warily slid her keycard through the slot, and let her door hiss open. For the benefit of her sanity, this time the more normal sounds of the television greeted her. Explosions and dramatic rock music hinted it was something she might even enjoy watching with the Children.

"Take the shot, Akram! Jane, stand by to fire as soon as he's clear!" said a voice in what Misato's experienced ear ID'd as a Berliner accent.

"Roger!"

"Roger!"

More dramatic music, rising to a climax, pounded out over the sound of a maser canon firing and an unearthly screech as something died. Misato cautiously walked in through the dining area to the living room until she could see the backs of Shinji and Asuka's heads. Misato blinked at the wild action scene just wrapping up on the screen.

"The Messenger is dead! Great shot, Jane!" the Berliner shouted. He was of course a blonde, chiseled slab of Teutonic muscle.

"Unit-06 for the kill once again! Thanks, Gregor! Victory drinks are on me!" said a incredibly petite Chinese girl with improbably large breasts and a bizarrely incongruous _Texan_ drawl.

"Sure you are not compensating for your height by carrying the biggest weapon, mm, Jane?" said an Arab man so devastatingly hot Misato _knew_ he had to be on all the show's posters. His skintight pilot's suit left little to the imagination. _'Dayum... I could grate cheese on those abs... yum.'_

"Next time on Children's Crusade! Jane rides the megacats! Terrifying secrets are revealed! More False Messengers appear to threaten Team Atlantis! And of course, they're be plenty of _faaaaan serrrrrvice!_"

A bewildering array of images accompanied the 'coming attractions' bit. The German man and an Amazonian redhead chasing people with what looked like the mutant child of a power drill and a computerized toaster. The Chinese girl and a slightly taller Spanish-looking woman riding saber-toothed cats the size of bears. A tiny Arab girl dramatically eating ice cream in a pillowfort, crying. A young man with short, light brown hair kissing a taller, whipcord-thin Chinese woman who then somehow managed to trip and land on him crotch-first. A tall, even more improbably stacked woman in a hot pink pilot's suit just... calmly smoking a huge bowl of weed. And then finally the hot Arab pilot and an almost equally hot pale guy with silvery hair and red eyes playing each other in a volleyball match that would have Maverick and Goose panting with suppressed homoerotic envy. All interspersed with giant robots posing and blowing things up.

Misato was finally snapped out of her bewildered staring by Asuka's voice. "That looked _awesome_! I can't wait to see it! And that female lead was _great_!"

"I don't know... it's supposed to be a giant robot show, but it spent more time showing a bunch of teenagers doing stupid shit with their shirts off. Takes itself way too seriously." Shinji replied. He cocked his head. "That redhead reminds me of you."

Misato looked down. And stared.

The Children had dragged the couch closer to the television to watch their show, so she'd only seen the backs of their heads so far, side by side. But now that she was standing right behind them, she could see Asuka had her feet up in Shinji's lap, and was receiving a thorough foot massage from the Third Child.

"Mmm, a little. She's nicely badass, and she snagged the proper German guy as a boyfriend, which is nice. I'm cooler, though. That yuri couple and Akram are clearly in the show just for fanservice, though."

"I think Jane and Irune are sweet," Shinji countered. "They're at least as much a valid couple as Sam and Shula, and they're engaged."

Asuka snorted. "Please, you're such a girl. The way they keep teasing a threesome with the Arab guy is _clearly_ for horny fans. And that volleyball match with the albino bishounen was _definitely_ yaoi fanservice. I mean, talk about blatant. They were both wearing nothing but Speedos and oil!" Asuka arched her back in a stretch. "Mmmm, that was nice to watch, though. Now keep massaging, cabana boy. And then you've got my dinner to make."

"Yes, mistress..." Shinji sighed, and bent his head to concentrate on her feet.

"What the Hell is going on here?" Misato asked. She was gratified to see both teens jump.

"M-misato-san! I d-didn't even hear you come in!" Shinji sputtered in surprise. Asuka just snorted and waved a vague greeting.

Misato arched an eyebrow at Shinji. "Mistress?" was all she said.

Shinji blushed and ducked his head back to his task. Asuka smirked and said, "I won him back from Pen Pen after you went to bed. Now he's got to be my cabana boy for a week. Clean up after me, cook what I want to order, and," she waved at the young man currently working on her toes. "Massages on demand."

"Aside from the foot massage, how is that different from how you always treat him?" Misato said, slightly acerbic.

"This time he can't complain about it. I saved him from penguinly domination!"

"Mistress?" Misato repeated.

Asuka met her stare with prideful arrogance. "He lost. I won him back. He owes me. So this week that includes calling me 'mistress'. Besides, he gets to put his hands on me _with permission_, and that's plenty of reward for him. Isn't that right, baka-Shinji?"

"Yes, mistress," Shinji chanted, deadpan.

"Good boy. Now, dinner. I think Misato is hungry too."

Shinji just nodded and got up, heading for the kitchen. Asuka watched him go with a possessive smile. She looked up at Misato. "You wanna plop down and watch another episode with me, Misato? Shinji and I have been watching it lately. It's like someone heard about NERV, took a lot of drugs, and then tried to make it a comedy-drama-angst-romance with an ensemble cast of traumatized lunatics. It's a cheesy giant robot show, but a lot of fun. Everyone in it is pretty hot, too. Especially that Akram guy. Yow."

Misato threw up her hands and sighed. She came around the couch to sit where Shinji had been. "You know what? Fine, hit it." She called over her shoulder towards the kitchen. "Pen Pen! Beer me!"

Asuka grinned and picked up the remote, starting the next episode on the laserdisc player. "'Gregor's Captain and the Demons of Berlin'? Ah, another episode featuring the cool redhead! Nice."

"Mistress?" Misato tried one last time.

Asuka rolled her eyes. "That'll teach you _and_ baka-Shinji to learn to be better at chess. Wouldn't you like to beat Kaji-san that way, mmm?"

Misato quickly stifled thoughts of a strip chess match against the tall Inspector. "I think I'll stick with just making him try to beat me at drinking. I've got more training there."

Asuka snorted. "You have no hope of beating him at chess, do you? You can't even beat Pen Pen."

"Shaddap and play the show, Asuka."

The Second Child smiled and sat back. "So when's my Eva going to be back together? I want to make sure the Dummy Plugs didn't screw it up."

"Weeks, Asuka. I'll let you know. Now roll it, I want some cheesy giant robot action I don't have to handle the budget for."

"Jawohl, mein Major."

"Hey, 'mistress'. Black Forest Cake alright for dessert?" Shinji called.

Misato stared at Asuka again. "Really?" she asked drily.

Asuka just grinned. "To the winner goes the choice of desserts."

Misato just shook her head. Her Children. Life was okay.

.

XXX

.

Major Katsuragi stepped out of the elevator and shuffled tiredly to her door. Wednesday had been bad? Thursday was even more draining. Meetings, endless meetings where everyone wanted NERV to cover the costs of every last part of the reconstruction. More endless meetings and briefings on the timeline for restoring Unit-00, Unit-01, and Unit-02 to combat readiness. Endless piles of paperwork, all of which could only be completed at her level. It was almost enough to make her wish for the simplicity of another Angel attack... except once that ended it would only mean she had twice as much paperwork now due...

Misato paused at the door and took a deep breath. She could do this. This was home. Even last night hadn't been too weird. Asuka treating Shinji like her personal serving boy was not that unusual. Even the 'mistress' bit and the foot massages wasn't _that_ nuts. She had to admit, it did seem like something Shinji wouldn't mind doing, getting to put his hands on Asuka with not just her permission, but her instruction.

_'I wonder if Asuka was trying to use that as a hint for Shin-chan to try a little more? I really need to give them a push...'_ She considered and discarded a few ideas on that front as she swiped her card through the slot and opened the door.

The sound of clattering in the kitchen and television in the living room greeted her. She smiled. This was nice. The _normal_ sounds of her coming home. She stretched her back out until she felt her spin pop as she walked past the kitchen, the flash of an apron-wrapped body catching her sight out of the corner of her eye as she passed.

A pair of bare feet and legs sticking out of shorts poked out from the couch that was still dragged near the TV. Some random action movie was on, and the Child on the couch probably not even watching, their feet idly kicking. Misato smiled again. The usual state of affairs when she came home was back. It would be a nice change after the last few days of oddity. She trudged towards her room to change, pulling her jacket off.

_'Now, what to wear to best #1) tease Shinji, #2) make Asuka jealous and provoke her into flaunting her own bod at him in territorial response, and #3) make me look hot in case Kaji drops by? Hmm... if Asuka can lay around in a tank and short-shorts, so can I!' _She was out of her uniform and most of the way into a nice comfy set of cut-off shorts and a yellow tank when she heard the opening salvo of the usual battle start.

"OI! BAKA! WHERE'S MY DINNER?!"

She started to smile at the familiar opening, then froze. _'Th...that was not... that wasn't Asuka!'_ She rapidly finished tugging on the shorts and styled her hair into a high ponytail as she trotted back into the living room. "Asuka, what's go... what."

The Child on the couch had indeed jumped up to yell at the occupant of the kitchen, a bag of potato chips clutched in one fist as the other pointed angrily, a posture Misato had seen the Second Child adopt many times. Legs toned by hours of NERV training led up to athletic shorts, a white tank top, and an A-10 Interface headset atop the Pilot's head.

Really, Shinji didn't look half bad in the outfit.

"I'm _hungry! _Hurry it up!" he shouted at the cook.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It's taking longer than I expected! It took me a while to finish all that homework, and I got started later than I expect-" Asuka tried to defend herself.

"I don't want excuses, baka! I want dinner!" Shinji rolled right over her protests.

Misato's jaw hung open as she desperately shifted her stare to Asuka, hoping it wasn't as bad.

The too-long belt holding up Asuka's black student trousers stuck out the side from under the pink apron she was wearing, and there were a few stains of dinner ingredients on the cuffs of her white school shirt. Her hair was bound off in a ponytail by a hair tie at the top of her neck, falling smoothly in a red waterfall, since there was no Interface Headset to get in the way for her.

"Guh," Misato observed shrewdly.

"It'll be ready in just a few more... oh, I'm sorry, Pen Pen." Asuka looked down at her feet, where the warm-springs penguin had pecked her in the leg gently to draw her attention.

Pen Pen stared backup at her with a cool expression. "Wark," he said.

Asuka nodded. "I forgot. Yours is ready, yes. Here you go." She took a plate of fish off the counter and handed it down to him. Pen Pen accepted it with a nod, and toddled into his freezer-room, closing the door.

"Oh, so _he_ gets his dinner first? I rate lower than a stupid _bird_?!" Shinji growled. "Well, it's good to know what the Great and Invincible Asuka-sama thinks of me!"

"I'm sorry! It's not like that, Shinj!" Asuka pleaded, waving her hands at him. "I'll have dinner ready in just a couple of minutes, I promise!"

"Alright, both of you, hold it!" Misato shouted over them.

They both fell silent and looked at her, faintly surprised, like they'd only just now noticed she was there.

Misato let them stare at her in silence for a moment before stalking past them, into the kitchen, and over to the refrigerator. She pulled out a can of Yebisu, popped the top, and drained the beer in one long pull. "Ahhhhh, that's better. Ok, one of you explain to me what the heck is going on here! Why is Shinji watching TV and you cooking, Asuka? Since when do you cook? And what happened to 'mistress'?"

Asuka blinked at her. "I... I always do the cooking, Misato-san?"

"What."

"I do the cooking, and the shopping, and the cleaning, and you and Shinji do... umm.. .things," Asuka offered. "You help clean sometimes."

"What."

Shinji sniffed. "I keep my room spotless. You keep out, Second Child! I don't want you going through my underwear." Shinji shot Asuka a dirty look. "I can guess what you'd do with them. Pervert."

"Shinji, I do all the laundry anyway..." Asuka said quietly.

"What."

"Are you feeling alright, Misato-san?" Asuka looked at her, concerned.

Misato shook her head, and grabbed another beer.

Shinji rolled his eyes "Whatever. I'm going back to watching TV. Call me when dinner's ready. Which better be _soon_, Second Child."

"Yes, Shinji," Asuka said meekly.

Shinji stomped back into the living room, and Misato drained the second beer. "Asuka, is this some kind of joke?" she asked, trying to hide her headache and confusion.

Asuka looked at her, looking just as puzzled. "I... don't know? Um... dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Could you help me set the table, please? I'd really appreciate your helping me like this."

Misato looked despairingly at the bottle of Snake-Killer Sake on the shelf behind Asuka. _'I don't think beer alone is going to save me tonight...'_


	21. Ch 19 - Advent Pt 3

Author's Note: Sorry for the long delay, everyone. These scenes took some effort to write, and it wasn't fast. I also held off on updating here since the scenes just kept getting longer then I expected, and the good chapter break point I wanted before I posted just kept moving back. As it is, Chapter 8 - Advent, still has a good part to run, at least as long as this portion. But since this portion itself has hit over 11,000 words and it's been 2 months since the last update, I thought I should put this part up.

As always, if you don't like waiting this long between updates, come over to SufficientVelocity. com, where the updates go up first and faster. I generally post every 1,000 words or more there as I go, scene-to-scene, and collect them for posting here every 6-10k. Just search for the title. You don't have to register to read, and I put a lot of story notes and character discussion there.

In any case, the long-awaited moment has arrived: Shinji and Asuka go public with Misato about their relationship... and what they've learned about their mothers. Then we back up a bit, and see what Ritsuko and Rei were up to during that week.

Enjoy, and please review with your thoughts.

.

XXX

.

Major Katsuragi steeled herself and opened the door to her apartment. This time she wasn't going to accept any more shenanigans. Last night had been too damn surreal. Shinji and Asuka hadn't 'broken character' all night. Asuka had been meek, polite, and self-effacing as she did all the cooking, dishwashing, and cleaning. Shinji had watched TV, read fashion magazines, complained about everything, and ordered Asuka around all evening until Misato had told her... _him_ to go to his room. Shinji had stalked off, muttering in _German_, and gone into his old room, now Asuka's. Misato, fairly buzzed at that point in self-defense of her sanity, had looked at Asuka helplessly. Asuka had merely shrugged and gone back to preparing the lunches for tomorrow. At that point Misato had given up and gone to bed.

Tonight... Ok, a week of this was enough. No more funny games. If Shinji and Asuka were up to anything tonight, she was done putting up with it. She'd demand and get some answers. She stepped inside and let the door slide shut behind her.

She could hear their voices in the kitchen, accompanied by the sounds of cooking. So far, relatively normal. No TV playing, but that wasn't too unusual. They didn't sound like they were arguing, either, which _was_ a bit unusual. Whatever, she was ready. Nothing the Second and Third Children could throw at her was going to rattle her this time! She rounded the corner and halted in surprise.

They weren't arguing. They were _dancing_.

Shinji came out of the kitchen with a large hot dish in his hands, turning without looking as he came around the corner of the kitchen nook on a course that should have taken him right into Asuka, who was walking back from putting down some other plates on the table. But Asuka somehow anticipated his movements, and smoothly spun herself around him in a move that looked too graceful to even be practiced, and they exchanged positions without even looking at each other. The dance repeated itself a few seconds later as Asuka came right back out with another set of laden plates and spun around Shinji on his own return course.

Misato stood there staring for a minute. This was even smoother and closer synchronization than they'd showed at the end of the week of training she'd run them through in order to defeat Israfel. She perked her ears up. Yup, they had music playing, slightly low volume, but definitely there. She realized they were singing too, both on the beat and in harmony.

They both vanished into the kitchen, and returned into her view a moment later, spinning around each other in steps that were clearly unnecessary, and just for fun. Shinji let his plates drop down to the last open spots on the near side of the table to the kitchen without taking his eyes off Asuka. She did the same with her plates on the far side of the table a moment later as their path curled around. Once their hands were free, they wrapped around each other and continued their dance until they were back near the kitchen.

Misato goggled and rubbed at her eyes. They were... holding each other, dancing together, and _smiling_? Her mouth twisted in annoyance. So this was the game tonight? Playing the cutesy newlyweds? Obviously a trick, though she had to wonder how Asuka had gotten Shinji to go along with it.

They didn't seem to have noticed her yet. At least, they hadn't overtly reacted to her standing in the shadows of the entrance hall. So why were they doing their act already? Even their 'role-reversal' one hadn't really done anything until she'd gotten home and they had to have noticed her. So why were they alread-... Misato _stared_.

Their latest twirl done, Shinji had shifted his grip on Asuka's back, and was now _dipping her_ in a slow, tight movement. Asuka was _grinning_, molding herself into it. Shinji had an almost matching smile. Their faces were very, very close...

"Alright, that's enough, you two! What the Hell is going on here?!" Misato's sharp, loud question made them both jump. "I've had enough of these games. What are you two playing at this time?"

"M-misato-san! W-welcome home!" Shinji stuttered. He carefully brought Asuka back upright and let go of holding her. "Um... we were... we were..." He looked at Asuka, who only folded her arms and stared right back at Misato.

"Getting dinner ready, as you can see," Asuka said unflinchingly. She waved at the table. "See?"

Misato narrowed her eyes at them. "Sit down, both of you."

The two young Pilots looked at each other for a moment and nodded. They walked to the table and sat down at their usual places facing her seat, waiting silently. Misato looked at the frankly startling array of food laid out on the table and thought about going to change out of her uniform before sitting down to eat, but her stomach growled at her and her mouth filled with saliva at the delicious aromas coming off the table, and that decided her. She sat down and matched stares with her young charges. _'Eh, maybe staying in my uniform will remind them I'm once again their commanding officer and not just their den mother. I need to lay down the law after this week.'_

"Alright... you two have been playing silly games all week, and I've let it slide since I'm tired and you two playing games isn't entirely a bad thing to come home to. But it's over. Singing and dancing around like a couple on a honeymoon is enough. No more playing to mess with my head," she declared firmly. "You're both Pilots again. Playtime is over."

Shinji just met her gaze calmly. "This wasn't a game, Misato-san. We stopped playing yesterday." Asuka nodded. Together they brought their hands between them up from below the level of the table and let them rest on the table. Asuka's left hand was on top of Shinji's right, fingers interlaced in a tight grasp.

Misato stared at the clasped hands. "I don't appreciate you making fun of things when I'm laying down the rules, Shinji-kun. Am I supposed to believe you and Asuka are suddenly going out?"

"Not suddenly," Asuka said calmly. "Months."

Misato shot her a sarcastic look. "Really. You two have secretly been dating for months and pretending you're not at home? Sure. Shinji swept you off your feet one day, bowled you over in a wave of passion, and stole your heart with his too-smooth moves. Next Kaji will confess he's been pining for me the last 8 years and offer to run away with me to his cabin in the Geofront!"

Asuka blinked, and started laughing so hard she fell over and landed with her head in Shinji's lap. Shinji just nodded at Misato and said, "Um... sort of? You're kind of right, but I r-really wouldn't call me 'smooth'. We just sort of... started talking to each other one day a few months ago, and... found out we're... a lot more alike than we'd though. It all worked out." He absently ran his fingers through Asuka's hair in his lap as she kept giggling. "Do you really think Kaji-san will confess to you like that soon, Misato-san? I know he thinks about you."

Misato forced herself to remain calm. This had to be just an extended joke. Shinji's question had to be part of it, not a serious probe. Kaji couldn't have told Shinji anything like that... could he?

"Yeah, Misato," Asuka finally managed from her position lying in Shinji's lap as her giggling eased. "Kaji knows about us. This week was about us shaking you up before we told you. Kaji insisted we... come clean to you. But my dearest baka and I have been in love for a while now. Surprise."

_'Ok, now I __**know**__ they're messing with me,' _Misato thought. _'Kaji knows? And they're 'in love'? I know they're attracted to each other, but successfully hiding a relationship from me for months? No way. Fine. Asuka wants to push it? I'll call their bluff.'_

"My my, Asuka. Who knew you'd be knocked head over heels for 'that baka Shinji'," she said in a sugary, mocking tone. "It's so romantic! Let me see you plant a nice juicy kiss on your sweetie's lips. Go ahead."

Asuka looked at her again, slightly surprised. Then she shrugged, slid her right hand behind Shinji's head, and pulled him down into a soft, languid kiss.

Misato watched their faces draw together, waiting and waiting for them to stop at the last minute and admit it was a game. She waited in vain. Her jaw dropped open. _'What... how... no way... They...they're __**really**__ doing it? They... they can't have been hiding this for as long as they say, could they?'_

It was a long, long moment before the Pilots broke the kiss and Shinji sat back up. Asuka just laid there with a cat-that-ate-the-canary grin on her face, looking utterly pleased and at peace. Shinji looked calm and happy too. Neither of them had reopened their eyes.

Misato just gaped at them for a minute. She forced herself to shut her mouth with a click. Silence stretched out. Asuka slowly cracked an eye open from Shinji's lap. "Anything else you'd like us to do, Misato?" she said amusedly.

"...you're not kidding, are you?" Misato slowly asked.

"Nope."

"You've been secretly in love for months?"

"Yup."

"And you were hiding it from me be-" Misato started to ask, then stopped as she kicked her brain into gear. Shinji at least was well aware she found the idea of he and Asuka together amusing and cute enough that she'd made no secret about encouraging him to ask the German redhead out. And if they were dating, he must have told Asuka that. So they should both know Misato would if anything _encourage_ their dating each other. Unless...

"Because you'd freak out and try to tell us we couldn't do what we've been doing for most of that time," Asuka said. "We're _together_. We wake up together, we eat breakfast together, we go to school together, we train together, we fight together, we come home together, and at the end of the day..." She sat up so that both Pilots were facing her squarely. Their hands sought each other out and renewed their tight clasp without either of them breaking eye contact with her. "We go to sleep together," Asuka finished calmly but firmly.

_'Unless there was something they were afraid I'd blow up at them for...'_ "No," Misato said in a tone of rising anger that said she'd already figured it out. "No, you two _cannot_ be-"

"We _are_, Misato! We did it last night, the night before that, the week before that, and the _month_ before that! And we're going to keep _on _doing it!" Asuka shot back hotly. "I have waited most of my _life_ to know that someone loved me again! I haven't felt _loved_ since I _fucking found my mother's body_! And now I risk my life every mission to protect the fucking world! So if you want to take away the only thing that's made me happy in _most of my damn life, _you can go to Hell!"

"'Most of your _life_'? Asuka, you're _fourteen_! You two can't be doing this!"

"You'd have done the same at our age!"

"At your age plus a year I was _catatonic_ from watching Second Impact at Ground Zero! _You _are still a child!"

"A _'child'_?! Sure I am, the _Second Child_! And Shinji's the _Third_! And we're sure as Hell old enough for you to have us fight for our lives as soldiers! We've _earned this_, Misato!"

"You are _way_ too young to be sleeping together! Are..." Misato's eyes widened. "You're not just 'sleeping together' literally, are you? That's why you hid this," she all but whispered.

They both nodded; Shinji a shade guiltily, Asuka defiantly. "Since Leliel," Asuka said sharply. "You know, when I almost _died._ _**Again**._ I decided I didn't want to maybe die the next mission regretting that I never told Shinji I love him. So I did. And then... we did."

"You... Alright. Fine. It's done. But you're stopping right now and going to your rooms. _Separately_, while I-"

"We are _not_ stopping, Misato," Asuka interrupted. "We'll stop _Piloting_ before we'll stop sleeping next to each other."

"And leave Rei-chan to fight alone?" Misato replied coldly.

Asuka's hot retort died on her lips. She looked like she'd bitten into something sour, working her jaw for a moment before replying, "Commander Asshole just tried that one. Look how well that worked out. It took me, Shinji, and Kaji's insane driving skills to save the day. Remember the part where we saved the damn world? We've earned the right to sleep where and with who we want, Misato."

"You are _teenagers_. You are not ready for this," Misato growled. "You are too young for all the complications sex brings. What if you got pregnant and couldn't Pilot when an Angel attacked? You could risk the whole world on your being horny?"

"Contraceptive implant from Doctor Akagi before we did anything," Asuka snarled, stretching the truth only a little. "We're not _stupid_, Misato. This isn't about being horny. This is about us having earned the right to grab as much life and love as we can when we risk our lives every time we get in our Evas."

"Both of you, go to your rooms," Misato repeated lowly.

"'Go to your room'?! You can't treat us like kids, Misato!" Asuka almost shouted back. She started to rise from her chair, but stopped halfway as Shinji's hand pulled her back down.

"This _is_ me treating you like an adult, Asuka," Misato said tightly. "This is me sending you two to your rooms so I can think and not _react_ at you. Because right now, I'm very angry at the two of you not just doing this, but concealing it from me for months. Sex and teenagers is a damn _explosive_ mixture, and you two have been risking all our safety on you both not screwing it up somehow. What if you-"

"Our Synch Rates have been going up steadily since we got together, Misato-san," Shinji interrupted quietly. "Asuka went up four points the day after we first... kissed. I went up six. We've both gone up 27% since we started. You saw how closely in-synch with each other we were against Bardiel. And we only managed to joint Pilot this last time _because_ we are so close. If we weren't sleeping together... if we weren't in love..." He looked at Asuka and smiled, then turned back to Misato. "We wouldn't have been able to stop Zeruel and we'd all be dead now. We are stronger together, Misato. I've never felt this strong. And I know Asuka feels the same way. Please don't separate us."

Misato just stared at Shinji for a moment. His quiet listing of facts to back up their position, combined with the agonized sincerity of his plea let it sink in a bit more for her. This wasn't just two horny teens wanting to get off. She knew too well how isolated Asuka really was from her time as the girl's guardian. She'd seen the same sort of hedgehog-like isolation and loneliness from Shinji when he moved in with her; the cell phone that never got calls, the lack of friends for so long until those two classmates of his had slowly become more than just people he knew... This was two very lonely people finding someone to... keep the lonely darkness away with. Like another couple she knew.

"Shinji... you don't understand how delicate this is... what if you two broke up? Or if-"

"We won't," they said in unison. She saw their clasped hands squeeze tight, until they were almost shaking.

"...or if one of you got hit in a battle? Could either of you stand watching that happen, ignore the screams, and keep fighting? There's a reason military commands ban romantically involved people from being in the same unit, you know."

"How would separating us change any of that, Misato-san?" Shinji asked quietly. "Sex or not, nothing's going to change how I feel about Asuka, or her me. It won't do anything but make us both miserable outside of battle, not more effective in it."

"That may be how they do that in normal military units, Misato, but nothing about this is normal. Yes, we're Children. We Pilot because only we can," Asuka said in an odd tone. "Haven't you ever wondered _why_ that is?"

Misato turned her stare to the redhead. "...I have. Ritsuko has been... not entirely forthcoming on the topic. And..." _'And from what Kaji's been telling me, the Marduk Institute is a hollow shell. And if Marduk isn't finding and selecting the PIlots... who is?'_

Asuka's anger had vanished, replaced by something colder and harder. "We figured out why _we_ are the Second and Third Children. We planned to ask Rei to see if we were right... but I'm certain we are," Asuka said in that same odd tone. "How secure is this apartment, Misato? Any bugs? Section 2 isn't listening, right?"

The cold, stark expression on Asuka's face made Misato repress a shiver. This didn't sound good. "No. No bugs. Section 2 doesn't listen in on me. Go on."

Asuka nodded. "Good. We learned something ugly about NERV. We're adult enough to handle sleeping together, Misato. I know we're mature enough because I haven't already stolen your pistol and gone after Commander Asshole and demanded some answers from him. And I haven't greeted you at the door with a knife because I'm pretty sure you don't know..."

Misato froze. She and Asuka had been pretty friendly while she'd been the girl's guardian. So a coolly delivered threat to kill her... "Know what?"

"I know where my mother _is_," Asuka said.

"And I know where mine is," Shinji echoed a second later. His face hardened into a near snarl. "And my _father_ owes me some answers."

There was no doubt in their voices. Misato felt her skin crawl. "'Are'? Asuka, your mother died in the hospital. I... I know _you _found her. And Shinji's mother died in the first Contact Experiment with Unit-01 eleven years ago."

"My Mama was mad after her own Contact Experiment, Misato. With, funny coincidence, my Unit-02. And I'm the only one that can Pilot it. Another amazing coincidence."

"And no one can get Unit-01 to move like me," Shinji said. "Rei's best is less than half as high a synch as I manage."

"And we talked to Hikari after she came out of Unit-03's core... she said she _talked to her mother_ in there. Yet another funny coincidence."

This time Misato couldn't suppress the shiver. "That... you really think..."

"Our mothers are in our Evas. I don't know how, but I'm _certain_ of it. We both are," Asuka said grimly. "And that can't be an accident. Someone at NERV has to know that. And I don't think it's you. And above you, there's only..."

"Ritsuko, Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki, and-" Misato listed.

"And my _father_," Shinji growled. "He _knows_. He has to."

Misato didn't want to believe it. She'd have to check notes with Kaji. But... it fit too well with what she knew. The way all the kids in their class were candidates. No mothers for any of them. Statistically impossible, so it had to be part of the selection criteria. But she'd never imagined it was anything like this. And Hikari's reemergence had proved beyond a doubt that a human could be absorbed by an Eva Core and still live. And she'd told Shinji and Asuka that she'd seen her mother? "There's... been nothing in the reports about Horaki-chan about... anything like this." It was a feeble straw, she could feel it even as she said it.

"We intend to try direct communication with them the next time we're in our Evas, Misato," Asuka said. "So yes, we're not going to stop being Pilots. Not when we finally know where our mothers are. But... don't try to separate us. We've earned this. You know what I was like. You think I'd say 'I love you' to _anyone_ easily?"

"Or me?" Shinji added.

"NERV has been up to some very creepy things, Misato. So Shinji and I sleeping in the same bed at night? Small thing next to that. And we've more than earned it. Please," Asuka finished.

Misato tried to force her mind back to the _first_ crisis of the evening. "I'll... think about it, Asuka. I know this means a lot to both of you. So I'm not going to react by reflex here. Is that acceptable?" she asked in a level tone. "You've given me some other major things to chew on here, you realize."

Asuka lips compressed together and she looked at Shinji. He didn't look happy either, but gave a small nod. Asuka turned back to her and nodded as well. "Fine. We'll... sleep separately. _Tonight_. But... you've got to let us. I haven't had a single nightmare since we started sleeping in the same bed. If I have one tonight, I know why and I'll blame you."

Misato let it pass. She could hear the real worry in Asuka's voice. "I'll think about it," she repeated. "You two _have_ saved the world, yes. But this is... delicate. And Commander Ikari could override any orders I give about it anyway."

"So don't tell him," Shinji said, low and angry. Misato blinked and looked at him. She'd never even heard Shinji this angry before. "My father forfeited any right to order my life and take away my happiness when he dumped me at a railway station and walked away when I was _four_, and then ignored me for ten years. He gets _no_ say in this. I love who I want to love, and he can go to Hell."

Misato blinked at the sheer fury radiating off the Third Child. She was even more surprised when Asuka leaned closer and tightly hugged Shinji until his anger ebbed. "Easy, love. He can't stop us. No power in the universe can stop us. We smash Angels like it's nothing. Your stupid father can't even begin to match us."

Shinji just let his hands come up and stroke the outsides of Asuka's. "Thank you," Misato heard him say softly to her.

Misato shook her head slightly. Even more than the kiss they'd both obviously enjoyed, this drove home how much they'd been concealing. A week ago, she'd have laughed at the idea Asuka would just reach out and comfort Shinji just because she cared about him, or that Shinji would automatically accept it and give back little nonverbal signs that he understood and appreciated what Asuka was doing. Now... she was surprised to find a tiny trickle of _envy_ begin to bubble up from her own heart. _'Why can't I have that?'_

"You really... love each other," she said quietly.

Asuka looked up, but continued to hold Shinji. "I told you, Misato. This isn't about us wanting to just fuck. This is because when we're lying there together at night, I never feel alone and unloved anymore. He's all I want. I don't need anyone else but him, not even... Kaji." A faint smile appeared on Asuka's lips. "Kaji's all yours now, Misato. Go get him." She looked back at Shinji. "I've got everything I want. Someone who understands me, fights beside me, and drives me to always be more."

Suddenly Asuka snorted. "Ok, I admit it, I also want him in my bed because _oh god_ is he good. Musician's hands, Misato..."

The envy got worse. She hadn't seen Kaji in _days_. "Just... let's eat. Then you two can... have the evening to cuddle on the couch or something. You're still sleeping in your own rooms until I can think about this." Misato's frown deepened. "And the... other thing. You're not due for a Synch Test for another week at least, but... I'll see what I can do."

Asuka just nodded. So did Shinji as his head came back up, his face calm again. "Thank you, Misato-san. We made your favorites tonight."

Misato quirked an eyebrow. "'We'? Asuka willingly helped cook?"

Asuka snorted again. "Told you. You won't believe how much about us you don't know. Dig in. We worked hard to impress you here. We wanted to make a good impression for this," she waved her hands. "This whole reveal. It's important, you know?"

"I'll think about it," Misato promised once more. "Now, let's eat."

.

XXX

.

The Previous Monday

.

"I'm going to go question the Fourth Child again. She has to know something more than she's said."

Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki looked up from the shogi board at his former pupil. Long practice kept his lips from flattening into a line. "Is that wise, Ikari?" was all he said.

Gendo's penetrating stare shifted from the air in front of his desk to the old man's face.

"You managed to terrify the poor girl into silence in just 15 minutes last time. And all she could tell you was she thought she'd seen her mother, had no idea how she'd gotten in or out of the Core, and had only the vaguest understanding of what the Angel had done to take over her Evangelion. You going down there to interrogate her will likely only frighten her further and gain us no additional information."

Gendo rose from his desk and began to pace back and forth like a caged lion. "She _must_ know something. She _must_. She _came out_, Professor!" he said in a voice almost vibrating with chained tension.

"If you wish, I can go speak to her. She may respond better to me," Fuyutsuki offered.

Commander Ikari just stood silently for several minutes. "Speak to her. Find out what she knows. Everything. She _must_ know something," he bit out.

The Sub-Commander of NERV rose to his feet and nodded. Long acquaintance let him see the way Gendo was holding down tension that would have had an ordinary man screaming and clawing at the walls by now. He made a small placating gesture. "I will handle it."

Gendo just tightened his lips and jerked a sharp nod. He returned to his desk and pulled up a report on the repair estimates for Unit-01, his hands assuming their standard position folded under his nose as he stared at the screen, but Fuyutsuki could tell he was not seeing the words at all.

He sighed quietly and walked to the door. The Fourth Child likely had little new information to offer, but he would make the effort. He'd not seen Gendo this wound up in more years than he could remember, if ever.

.

XXX

.

Muzzy, painful awareness swam slowly back to her. Her head hurt... so much... where?

She was lying in a bed. The steady beep-beep-beep of a heart monitor came from her right, and she realized she'd been hearing it in the background of her senses for a while. Every part of her hurt. Her injuries from Matsushiro all screamed at her afresh, and a new, even more painful little dwarf had apparently evicted the last one that had begun drilling at the inside of her skull, and gone to work. She groaned from the pain.

There was a weight on her right leg, and someone was holding her right hand. They twitched and squeezed it when she groaned. She pried her eyes open and tried to focus on the blurry mass of brown hair and khaki NERV uniform that was slumped asleep on her legs, half on the hospital bed, half in the chair next to it. "M...Maya?" she rasped.

Her young assistant blinked awake and wiped absent-mindedly at the dribble of drool at her mouth. "Gwha... _sempai!_"

Ritsuko found herself gently, but _quickly_ wrapped up in a hug as Maya Ibuki began to babble happily. "Sempai!Sempai!Iwassoworried!TheceilingfellonyouwhenUnit-01hitHQandyouwerebleedingandIwassoscaredandworriedbutCommanderIkariwoudn'tletmehelpyoubecausetheAngelwasstillattackingand-"

"Maya! MAYA!" Oww, damn it, shouting made her head pound worse. "Slow down! Start over! What-...nggg. What happened? The last thing I remember is... is..." Her head pounded. "Ung... uh, Unit-01 falling into the Geofront? The Angel was coming after it, and... the launch catapult was activating?"

"Th-the catapult was Unit-03! Shinji-kun and Asuka um... borrowed Unit-03 and attacked the Angel! They stabbed its Core out, and Rei shot it before it could blow up like Sachiel!" Maya babbled excitedly.

Her head was spinning. "Sh-shinji and Asuka... together? They dual-synched again? In... Unit-03?"

Maya nodded excitedly. "They were amazing! They... they ran out of power before they killed the Angel, but then the vestigial S2 Organ in Unit-03 activated!"

_'Oh god... Unit-03 was possessed by an Angel, and now has a __**functioning **__S2 Organ?'_ Ritsuko shivered. _'What... what the Hell are we supposed to do if that thing awakens? And...wait..."_ "How did Shinji and Asuka manage the dual-synch? That... Unit-03's Core was configured to work with the Fourth Child, not them. And she was absorbed!"

Maya blinked. "I... I don't know, Akagi-sempai. I... I left Central Dogma as soon as the combat alert was over and came straight here. I... um..." Maya blushed. "I... haven't left your side since then. That was... um... last night. Afternoon... er..."

_'...you haven't left my side since the end of the fight, and I woke up with you asleep on my leg and holding my hand. Goddamit, Maya. I've been trying to ignore your crush on me for months. This is not helping.'_ "Maya, maybe you should-" Ritsuko's stomach took this opportunity to growl like an angry badger. "...ah,... go ask the nurse to bring me something to eat?" she finished weakly.

Maya wobbled to her feet. "Y-yes, sempai! I'll... ooh... um... get something to eat too! I'll be back soon!" She turned and zipped from the room, almost bowling over the person coming in on the way. "Ahh! Sorry, Major Katsuragi! Excuse me!"

Misato looked back at the retreating Lieutenant and shook her head. "Your girlfriend is very devoted, Rits."

"Shut up, Misato. And don't call her that. I've been trying to ignore her raging crush on me all year," the blonde doctor replied testily. _'It's... Hell, she's... I want Gendo, not... some pretty young girl that idolizes me. ...right? He needs me. He'll listen to me about how dangerous the Evas are becoming. He has to... He's not just using me. He's not.'_ The thought wasn't as sure as it had been a few months ago. _'She's... I'm not who she thinks.' _"This... what am I supposed to do with this?"

"Take her out for drinks next time instead of me and Kaji?" Misato said with an impish grin. "It's not like you've _never_ kissed a girl before. Or done far, _far _mo-"

"And _you_ promised that we'd never speak of it again, and that it was only because we were both hammered out of our minds and hadn't had a guy in months," Ritsuko fired back, then put a hand to her head to try quieting the throb. "Nnng... don't make me shout anymore, please?"

"That's not what you said back then..." Misato joked. The smile dropped away fast, though. "How do you feel?"

"Like Unit-01 punched me in the head," Ritsuko mumbled through clenched teeth. "They leave any painkillers for me? I'll order some myself if they didn't. Then borrow your sidearm and go shoot the doctor that forgot."

"My, someone's grouchy..." Misato deadpanned. "Here. The nurse handed me these on the way in. Vicodin good enough for you?" She held out a small bottle of pills.

Ritsuko took the bottle with hands that only shook a little and quickly swallowed one of the pills. "It'll do. How bad do I look?"

Misato chewed her lip. "Nnnnnot great. You got a good knock on the head from a falling chunk of ceiling, and that didn't help your previous injuries... Doc said you should stay in bed for a good week before trying to get back into things, even desk work."

"Fine, fine. Maya says she came straight here from Central Dogma after the battle. Obviously we won, but what else have I missed? How the Hell did Shinji and Asuka get Unit-03 to work for them? The Core was configured for the Fourth Child, and she was absorbed in the last fight!"

Misato shrugged. "You're the Metaphysical Biology expert, you tell me. And Hikari's back. She just... appeared in the Entry Plug after the Angel was dead and they shut down the combat alert." Misato's lips quirked. "Appeared in Shin-chan's lap, in fact."

Ritsuko screeched to a mental halt. "Wait... _what?!_ She... _came out?_ How?!"

"Hell if I know, but she's just down the hall here from you right now..." Misato went on, not noticing her friend's turmoil.

Misato filled her in. The Evas smashed up, weeks to repair. Hikari out of the Core, somehow, with no idea how. The Commander interrogating her, and ordering her on medical suspension until totally cleared of possible Angelic contamination. The Second and Third Children commended and put back on active status, assigned to Unit-03 for now, for lack of any other Eva that can fight at all. The Fifth Child coming in from NERV Berlin to replace the Fourth.

"The..._Fifth_ Child? What? How the Hell are we supposed to configure a Core for them? I... I can't do this in a vacuum! What the Hell is NERV Berlin playing at?" Ritsuko complained.

Misato shrugged again. "I only know what Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki told me. We've got about a week before they arrive, he said, and we're to assign the other Children to getting the Fifth Child up to speed as fast as possible, so Shinji and Asuka can get reassigned back to their own Evangelions as soon as they're back in shape." She sighed. "And _that_ is going to take a while. Only Unit-03 can even _stand up_ right now, and it's still missing a hand and has a lot of damage. Commander Ikari left Central Dogma as soon as the fight was over and left me to handle everything. He spent the entire evening camped out at the recovery site for Unit-01. It took them hours to get Rei cut out, and then he _still_ stayed there most of the night. He questioned Hikari-chan right after that, then left. "

_'Of course he spends half the night making sure __**she **__is ok... plus that stupid doll. And he came to see Horaki, but not me? Damn it, Gendo... you need me! Don't I warrant a bit of your time?'_ She smothered the wave of anxiety and desire that she almost hated herself for feeling sometimes. Misato was still talking.

"The surface defenses and the Geofront access point are all mashed to Hell, too..."

"Coordinating the repairs for _that_ is your problem, Major," Ritsuko said primly. She forced a small smirk. Her friend didn't know who she was seeing, and didn't need to. "And if I'm going to be laid up with bed-rest for a week or two, you're going to have to ride herd on the Evangelion repair crews as well."

"Oh, gee, thanks, Project E Chairwoman, ma'am," Misato retorted sourly. "Since I had all this free time just laying around, waiting for-" The phone by the head of the bed rang loudly. Misato raised an eyebrow. "Expecting a call?"

Ritsuko's head pounded a little more with the annoying electronic ring. She scowled and reached over to pick up the handset. "Hello, this is Akagi."

"Doctor Akagi. Are you alright?"

Her heart soared. _'He's calling to see if I'm ok? That's not as good as a visit, but he does care! Take that, Misato!'_ "Yes, sir, " she answered professionally.

"Can you work?"

Ritsuko paused. Her head pounded, but... she could think, and there were probably important things that- "...I guess so?"

"Come to Terminal Dogma immediately, then. There is much work to do." Click.

Ritsuko stared at the handset, trying to decide if she wanted to throw the phone across the room or slam it. _'Come down here'?! Not even a 'how are you feeling?' What the Hell?!'_ "Mother_fucker_!"

Misato raised an eyebrow. "You... ok, Rits? You look like you're about to stab someone, and I'm the only girl in range, so I'd rather you don't. Who was it?"

"Commander Ikari. The ringmaster wants all his clowns back out to the center ring. I'm to report to Terminal Dogma immediately."

Misato blinked in shock. "What? You're in no shape for that. You're supposed to stay on your back for a week at least."

"In a sane organization I would be. But I'm apparently critical. And the Commander speaks, and we all hop to obey," she said bitterly. _'Visits Horaki but not me. Gets Rei out of Unit-01, but doesn't see me. Makes sure __**she's**__ fine in the Core... but not me. Damn it, Ritsuko...' _She struggled to sit up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. "Guess I'll have to take that breakfast Maya's bringing to go..."

"Ritsuko, what the Hell? You should sit back down and-"

"And _what_, Misato?" she barked back. "Sit back and have a few beers? Hang out with a bunch of Children and have your meals cooked for you? Some of us have to do real work!"

Misato's head snapped back at the surprisingly angry tone. "Fine then, Doctor, I'll let you get on with things." She turned and left without another word.

Ritsuko winced again as she left, only a little from the pain the shouting had roiled up in her head. _'Damn it, Misato, I'm sorry...'_ She sighed. She'd have to apologize later. For yet another screw-up with her oldest... and nearly _only_ friend.

Mentally cursing herself, she staggered out of the bed, made sure to collect her painkillers, and slowly made her way out the door.

.

XXX

.

"Alright, Rei, that's enough for today." Ritsuko shut down the scanner with a tired sigh. Progress had been slower than she'd liked. Rei had a lot more thought noise than usual, and all sorts of interesting spikes and patterns in her AT-Field and psychographs. Well, they _would _have been interesting if Ritsuko had been in good health. Right now it was mostly a source of annoyance, since her head still hurt like mad and the painkillers made it tougher to think with the level of concentration she needed for advanced topics like Metaphysical Biology. She massaged her neck with one hand and reached for the pill bottle again.

"Doctor Akagi." Ritsuko tried not to jump. Dammit, why was she so nervous? There was no one down here but her and the First Child, who was still in the tube filled with LCL under the scanner array. Rei's quiet question shouldn't have her startling like a nervous cat.

"I am to remain in the tube overnight for the healing procedures?" Rei asked.

"That's correct, Rei." Ritsuko's eyes narrowed. Had Rei's expression... flickered? The usual placid blankness had for a fraction of a second been... something else? Ritsuko scowled. Not like Rei never showed other expressions. She had been smiling gently the entire time _Gendo_ had been there, like she often did.

Ritsuko tried not to grind her teeth. Gendo had hardly been here long today. He'd been there to meet her, set Rei up in the tube of LCL, and begin observing the scan, but he'd left after scarcely an hour. An hour during which he'd only stared at Rei, hardly speaking at all. Rei of course had smiled slightly and stared back.

"I might as well have been furniture..." she muttered.

"I'm sorry, Doctor?" Rei said.

Ritsuko shook her head, then regretted the motion. "Nng. Never mind, Rei. Just stay put and sleep. I'll extract you in 2 hours for food, then you'll have 90 minutes to digest before you're back in. Commander Ikari wants these accelerated healing procedures done as fast as possible, so that mean minimal breaks for both of us."

"Yes, Doctor."

Ritsuko spared a moment's look at the bluenette. Rei sounded... disappointed? That couldn't be right.

.

XXX

.

Tuesday

.

"Rei, all these psychograph spikes are slowing down the recording. This will take until Sunday at this rate if it continues."

"Is there anything I can do to smooth the process, Doctor Akagi? I have kept my mind as clear as possible."

Ritsuko glared at the screen and tried to will the spiky graphs into line. "No, Rei, this is... almost structural changes in your AT-Field. Not part of your thought process, though they're creating noise on the recording." She punched up the last quarterly scan. Almost nothing. So this was a recent change. "Rei, I'm going to have to do more in-depth scans on your AT-Field, compare against previous ones. I think... that last Angel's AT-Field was so strong I think interacting with it had some strange knock-on effects on yours. Just... sit tight and I'll run them."

Rei's AT-Field was... she'd never seen it acting like this before. It was flaring far more active than ever before, and... Damn it... this was too strange... "Alright, Rei, I've got to go up to the hospital wing to check in on the Fourth Child. I've left the scanner running, so just stay calm and empty your mind, and I'll be back in two hours or so."

"...yes, Doctor Akagi."

Ritsuko flicked another momentary glance at the First Child. That reply had been... no, that couldn't have been resignation. Rei didn't _get_ bored.

.

XXX

.

"Alright, Horaki-san, you're... healthy enough in normal physical terms. I'm going to need to get you into one of the labs to do a check for more exotic Angelic effects, though," Ritsuko said while snapping off her rubber gloves. "We'll set that up for tomorrow."

"W-when can I... um... be released, Doctor? I'd l-like to see my b- family," Hikari asked, anxiously.

"I don't know, Pilot. That's up to Commander Ikari." Ritsuko saw her twitch. "And he's said you're not going anywhere until I've fully cleared you of any Angelic contamination or other dangerous effects. You _were_ dissolved into LCL and absorbed by Unit-03's Core while it was possessed by an Angel, so we can't be too careful here."

Hikari looked severely unhappy about this. "But... I haven't gotten to see anyone but the medical staff, Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki, and Commander Ik-kari since yesterday. They haven't let my sisters or Touji in to see me!"

"Touji?"

"Touji Suzuhara. He's my..." Hikari blushed. "B-boyfriend. Um."

Ritsuko grimaced. _'She has a boyfriend. Of course. Even the damn Children have boyfriends. Well, this one does. It's not like Rei can even frame the concept, or the Second or Third get over their own issues long enough to ask someone out. But what have you got, Akagi? You can't even admit in public you're sleeping with the Commander.'_

Aloud, she said, "No guests of any kind, sorry. Until you're cleared, we can't risk exposing you to anyone outside of NERV Medical Staff."

"But... but Asuka, Rei, and Ikari-kun visited me the day I got here!" Hikari protested.

"They are Pilots, and protected a bit," Ritsuko lied smoothly. "And they really shouldn't have, but Commander Ikari hadn't issued the quarantine order until after they'd been here. The aftermath of the battle was a little chaotic, you understand."

Hikari looked dismayed. "S-so... how long will I be... um, quarantined?"

"Only a few more days, I think. We'll get you into the lab tomorrow, and we should be able to release you, from the hospital at least, by Sunday or Monday."

"Can I have _any _visitors? Please? I know Touji wants to see me, and I miss him! I'm sure I'll be better with him here!" Hikari pleaded.

Ritsuko forced herself not to grind her teeth more. _'Of course, her boyfriend wants to see her. After the First, Second, and Third, at least one of the Children had to be normal. It's not like the other three could ever unscrew themselves enough to have a relationship. But God, is it annoying to see this girl chirping about her boyfriend...'_

"I said no guests, Horaki-san. You're in an unknown and delicate medical situation, and we don't want anyone else exposed to you while we determine if you're safe. So sit tight," she not-quite growled at the young girl.

Hikari subsided with a flinch. "Y-yes, Doctor Akagi."

_'Great, now I feel like I kicked a puppy, too. This girl is just a bucket of fun. And she's got a boyfriend that worries about her. What have you got, Ritsuko? Cats? Him? The cats at least worry they won't get fed when you're not there. Him? Damn it...'_

.

XXX

.

"The Fourth Child showed similar odd spikes in her AT-Field and psychograph as the First, but at lower levels. This is possibly due to Rei's... unique nature." Ritsuko paused, waiting for Commander Ikari to give a miniscule nod before she resumed. "I am still investigating the other odd harmonics I detected in the Fourth Child from her re-embodiment from the Core of Unit-03, but I-"

"That is your priority project, once the upload on the First Child is complete, Doctor Akagi," Commander Ikari interrupted. "The recovery of the Fourth Child from the Core of Unit-04 is... unprecedented. Her case should be given your highest attention once the scan of Rei is done."

Ritsuko bit the inside of her cheek to keep her face still. She knew what he was really talking about. The _other_ person he wanted to see come out of a Core. _'Don't __**I **__matter? You need me! None of this would be possible without me!'_ "Understood, sir. There are enough variable elements in Rei's readings it's going to take until Sunday to complete her upload and healing."

She paused. She had to know if... he still had room for her. Need for her. He had to. "Sunday night I'll be... available. Do you want me to personally brief you on our results?" she hinted.

"No," was all Commander Ikari said. "Begin working on the Fourth Child and the Core as soon as possible. The Fourth Child will be barred from active Piloting until you are completely finished with her. Allow her to contact her family next week, but only via phone, and have her report to you daily for any additional examinations."

Ritsuko did her best to keep her face impassive, to not let her wince show. She was a grown woman. She didn't need to beg. Didn't need him that badly. She was not her mother, or Misato.

_'Yes you are, you stupid bitch. You laugh at Misato for being all moony over Kaji, but look at you. Practically begging him to let you come over. To be held. And yes, to scratch that itch, damn it. I have needs too, is that wrong? And he's good, just the way you like it...'_

"That will be all, Doctor Akagi," Gendo said, and returned his attention to the screen embedded in his desk.

Ritsuko pressed her lips together and turned on her heel. Terminal Dogma was a long walk down.

.

XXX

.

Wednesday

.

_'These spikes and flares in Rei's AT-Field are...dammit, they are __**familiar**__. Why can't I pin them down? And the Fourth Child is showing similar signs, but at much, much lower levels. Was her AT-Field being in the Core for most of the battle the reason? Rei _was_ facing Zeruel for a lot longer, is that it?'_

Ritsuko glared at the screen. The AT-Field scan results of the Fourth Child were displayed side-by-side with First's. The similarities were easy to spot, and quite consistent. They were annoyingly _absent_ from reference scans she had looked at for the Second and Third, though she had yet to get a post-battle scan for those two. She tapped a note into the MAGI terminal to order them in for a scan as soon as she could. If the same AT-Field oddities showed up in them, that would... well, it might not answer any questions yet, but it was a data point she needed.

_'The point of commonality for the First and Fourth is exposure to the Fourteenth Angel. Note to self, get the scans of Unit-03 and Unit-01 for comparison. The Fourth and her mother were providing the main effort for the AT-Field, but if I can isolate the same sort of spikes in the Second and Third Children, _and_ see bigger spikes in Unit-03 or Unit-01, that could confirm my theory of the origin, at least.'_

Ritsuko pushed her chair back from the desk and shifted her stare to the First Child, still floating serenely in her tub of LCL. Most of her wounds from the battle were almost gone already, healing at an impossible pace under the LCL-enhanced treatment. Ritsuko felt another pang of envy flash through her. No LCL-accelerated healing for her fractured bones and bruises; _Commander Ikari_ wouldn't let her be laid-down for even the few days it would take, and she was the only one qualified to run the treatment anyhow. So slow weeks of old-fashioned slings and bandages for her. _'Unlike the precious First Child, oh no.´_

Ritsuko's stare sharpened. The stupid doll was _smiling_ faintly. Like she did when Commander Ikari came down to see them. See her. But he hadn't been here today. The First Child was smiling nonetheless. _'What's she smiling about? She's stuck in that tube until I decide she gets out. She can't go see the Commander like I can... in fact, I think I will. Been stuck down here all day. I deserve a break. I deserve... yeah, I deserve some of what I want. Time to go get something from Commander Ikari that little doll can't.'_

She stood up, set the scanners and recorders to automatic until her return, and quickly walked towards the elevator. She noticed Rei's eyes tracking her abrupt movement with faint curiosity, and smirked. _'You can't give him what I do, First Child. And that's why I'll win in the end.'_

.

XXX

.

Thursday

.

Ritsuko stubbed out yet another cigarette and stabbed her fingers at the keys of her computer like she could kill them. Rei's red eyes calmly watched her, the routine of the week going on. Except now she was furious, depressed, and hating herself again.

It had been a perfect mistake. She'd gone to his office, stormed inside like a force of nature, and all but pounced on him at his desk. He'd finally acquiesced to her very plain desire and taken her, right there in his office. Again. It had been everything she wanted from him. Forceful, controlling, relentless, dominating... She'd moaned and cooed all through it, reveling in her pleasure and her pride that she was the only one who could give him this... Not Rei, _her_.

Right up until he'd gasped it, almost silently, at the moment of climax. Just the tiniest whisper, but she'd heard it.

"Yui..."

It'd all turned to ash on her, right then. She'd silently collected her scattered clothes and left without a word spoken by either of them. She'd managed to contain the few hot, bitter tears that had escaped her until she'd reached the sanctuary of her labs far below his office.

The humiliation had been too much to let her face Rei's stare again that evening, so she'd blown off returning, retreating to her apartment to feed her cat and try not to think about the fact that for all the times they'd fucked, the last person who'd actually just hugged her had been _Maya_.

_'Who thinks I'm some sort of admirable paragon, someone to crush on and stare at like that. Not some pathetic woman who is losing a fight to a doll and a dead woman's soul. Look at you: you can't even keep his attention when you're right underneath him!'_

She shifted her glare back to the girl in the tube. She was still smiling. It was infuriating. Why was she happy? She was a stupid doll! She was a toy, a tool made for the Scenario! She wasn't supposed to be _happy_.

Her stare sharpened. Happy. Smiling. Rei was not prone to such things, and all the drugs in her system should have her so dulled any active emotion at all should be difficult. Yes, Rei would frequently react that way to the Commander, but... "Rei, why are you smiling?" she asked neutrally.

"I... do not know, Doctor Akagi," the clone replied.

"What are you thinking of?"

"I was thinking of... Pilots Ikari and Soryu. I experience positive feedback in their presence. I look forward to seeing them again next week. They are... my friends?" Rei seemed to be trying the word out.

"Your friends," Ritsuko repeated doubtfully. _'Her friends. __**Her**__ friends. She has friends. Her. The doll. Friends, plural. Who do you have besides Misato, the one you implied was a lazy alcoholic the last time you talked? Maya, the girl who's crushing on you because she doesn't know what you're __**really**__ like? Rei __**fucking**__ Ayanami has more friends than you?'_

"I have experienced positive reactions and increased Synch Rates due to their association on your orders, Doctor," Rei continued.

_'And you managed to make the doll happy instead of yourself. Good job, Ritsuko. Wait... she shouldn't be happy. Damn it, her hanging around with the other Children must have caused a change in her neurochemistry that's overpowering her tranquilizers. I'll have to fix that.'_

She pulled herself back to the keyboard, pulling up Rei's last drug test results. All perfectly normal, just like the last one, but apparently no longer adequate. Definitely need to increase the dosage.

_'I don't want to have to factor that into the healing process or the brain scans. I'll leave that until they're done. But I definitely need to up her dose. Can't have Rei waking up one day and deciding she wants to start doing her own thinking. Little dolls don't need to think.'_

She carefully didn't think about little dolls taking a certain Commander's attention away from her. That had nothing to do with it at all. She was no petty, insecure woman scrabbling for any advantage to get ahead, no.

Ritsuko entered a note into the system to remind her about the dosage change at the end of the scan and upload. She didn't want to forget about it.

.

XXX

.

Friday

.

The stupid doll was smiling at him again. Gendo smiled back at her, which was even more irritating to Ritsuko.

"I want the upload implanted in the Dummy Plugs as soon as it's completed, Doctor Akagi."

Ritsuko could not entirely suppress the shiver of fear that ran through her. _'Gendo, those things are dangerous and the last Angel tore them apart.'_ "Are you sure, sir? The Committee ordered-"

Commander Ikari cut her off. "The Committee ordered us 'not to field them while you have Children available with superior performance'. That may not always be the case, and it is our duty to be prepared for the day that is so."

_'The last time 'that was the case' was because you caused it. And you don't listen when I tell you the Evangelions are too dangerous to be allowed outside of human control! We shouldn't use the Dummy Plugs. I keep telling you there's too high a chance they could go berserker or worse, but you don't listen to me! You weren't there, watching Unit-02 come out of that Dirac Sea, covered in blood and screaming like a __**demon!**__ Or Unit-01 __**answering**__! That's your precious Yui there, Gendo, howling blood and madness like something from the depths of Hell! Is that what you want back?'_

Gendo noticed her hesitation. "Is that a problem, Doctor Akagi?"

She bit the inside of her cheek. "No, sir. They'll be ready. We'll have the scan and upload completed by Sunday. I'll have it coded and installed Monday."

He nodded, a hair-thin smile on his lips. "Very good, Doctor." His expression shifted minutely. "Would you like to discuss the operation upstairs with me?"

She knew the question meant more than seeing if she wanted to have a mere technical discussion. It was how he arranged their trysts from his side. She fought with herself. _'You've still got cast on one arm, bandages on your head, and feel like you could sleep for a week. ...and you still want it. Damn it. Damn you too, Gendo, for making me want it. Just do it, Ritsuko. You know you want to.'_

"Of course, Commander." She stood up, and put the scanners on automatic again. She wouldn't be back soon. She fell in right behind him as he started to walk out. She cast one last look over her shoulder at the First Child. Unsurprisingly, she was no longer smiling. But... she was meeting Ritsuko's eyes with... empathy? What? That couldn't be it.

Ritsuko shook it off and obediently followed Commander Ikari out of the lab.

.

XXX

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Saturday

.

"I hate this."

Shinji looked down at his girlfriend's face, her head pillowed in his lap. "Hmm? Usually you really like this." His hands kept stroking through her hair.

She reached up to tweak his nose. "Baka. I mean the waiting for Misato to figure out she should let us sleep together. Last night sucked enough. I think the only reason I didn't have nightmares is I barely slept anyhow. And I'd bet it was the same for you. Also, don't stop stroking."

Shinji frowned. His hands kept stroking, though. "It's... I think it's not just the fact we were, or even the...um... more than literally sleeping together parts, but the fact we... lied to her about it for months. You know I never liked that."

Asuka frowned too. "I know. And it wasn't lying, it was just... not mentioning it bec-...fine, alright, I know what lying by omission is," she conceded as she saw his frown deepening. "I just... I knew she'd react like this. Treating us like we're kids who can't be allowed to do 'adult' things like this, and then shove us back into the Entry Plug the next day. "

"She hardly has to push hard. We went willingly last time," Shinji pointed out. "Against my bastard father firing us, even."

"You know what I mean. Making us shoulder responsibility for defending all of humanity from Angels, but treating us like kids when she finds out we're acting like we're mature."

"We _are_ still just teenagers, Asuka. Your 15th birthday is still a few weeks away, even."

"Why are you trying to defend her side here?" Asuka asked, a little annoyed.

Shinji was quiet a minute. "Because Misato took me in when she didn't have to. She was the first person to be kind to me here. She's the closest thing to a mother either of us have had for years. I hated lying to her. And... I don't want her to be an enemy. I...I can see her capitulating, letting us sleep together... but not because she thinks we've earned or we can handle it, but because she decided she can't stop us from doing it anyway, since we've been doing it behind her back for months already." Shinji hung his head, shaking it slowly. "I don't want her to...give us what we want but give up on trusting us as a price."

Asuka closed her eyes, letting her annoyance dissipate. "Arrgh. Fine, you're right. I'm just... I _know_ how bad it will be for both of us if she makes us stop. As strong as we are together... We saved the world! ...I'm..._afraid_ of what it'll be like if she takes that away from us." Her hand rose from laying on her stomach to desperately seek his free one, gripping tight.

Shinji gripped back just as firmly. "I... we won't let that happen. It... if we have to go back to... sleeping in separate rooms, we will, but... that's all. Nothing else will change. She can't take _us_ away from us," he said quietly. "I... I want to sleep next you every night, Asuka. But... if this convinces Misato-san we're mature enough to handle it, it's worth it. And... I don't have to be right next to you to be with you always. You said it; we're together. Even sleeping apart won't stop that."

Asuka snorted. "Baka," she said softly, but seemed calmed by his words. She rolled onto her feet, rising from the couch and his lap. "We may even behave of our own accord and sleep apart until she realizes we've earned the right to sleep in the same bed, but that doesn't mean we have to spend even a minute apart during the day we don't have to. Come on, you're taking me out on another morale-raising date. I want to swan around downtown with my boyfriend on my arm again. And I'm going to rub it _right_ in the faces of that pack of harpies at school on Monday that you're all mine. Especially that bitch Tanaka."

Shinji took her hand and stood up too. "Maybe that will finally get them to stop chasing me like I'm a prize to be won." He cocked his head. "How come I'm the one with the pack after them? You were ten times as popular as I was, a week after you arrived, miss incredibly-hot-exotic-foreign-transfer-student. I know Touji and Kensuke were making crazy amounts of cash selling beauty shots of you almost right away. Why haven't I had to chase away a pack of boys drooling after you?"

"Because I _already_ had them properly terrified and respectful after I mashed the first two flat when they tried to ask me out the week I got here and refused to take 'no' for an answer," she said, grinning like a wolf. "Putting a couple of them on the ground with a few punches when they got rough taught the others to keep off. You're just too polite and sweet to girls to scare them off, my darling baka. Now let's go out and... How long have you been standing there, Misato?"

Shinji blinked and turned around. Their guardian stood in the doorway to the kitchen/dining area, arms folded as she leaned against one side. "Long enough. You two are adorable," she said drily. "And it's heartening to hear you deciding to behave."

"We're responsible and mature, you heard it, Misato," Asuka said flatly. "And now my darling baka is going to take me around town and treat me to lunch, the works. If you know about us, there's no reason he and I can't go out on dates all the damn time now." Asuka chewed her lip for a moment. "Have you decided anything?" she asked in a little more subdued tone.

Misato shook her head. "Not yet. I want to talk this over with Kaji first, since you said he knows about you two already. I want to hear how and why he found out, and why he didn't tell me right after. But we haven't been able to meet up yet. Too busy, today. We're meeting for lunch tomorrow."

"He was waiting here when we came in, and overheard us talking about things that made it clear what we were up to," Asuka admitted. "And he didn't tell you because this was literally 15 minutes before Zeruel arrived and interrupted things. Afterwards, I convinced him to give us a week to tell you ourselves. Hence, last night."

Misato opened her mouth to probably make a remark about the _other_ things Asuka had orchestrated over the last week, but was interrupted by Asuka's next question.

"So you haven't talked to him about... our mothers, either, have you?"

Misato looked grimmer at the reminder of the other revelation from last night. "No. Believe me, that's going to be a big one. NERV's got some dark things going on we don't know about."

"And I bet my father is neck deep in it," Shinji almost growled.

Misato blinked at him in surprise. That level of anger coming from Shinji was very unusual, and directed at his father no less. "He's the Supreme Commander of NERV. He has to know everything, yes. I'm... sorry, Shinji."

"Just...be careful, Misato-san. After all we've _already_ seen from my father, I wouldn't be surprised if there's even more horrible things he's hiding from m-...us," Shinji replied. His tensed shoulders relaxed a bit when Asuka took his hand.

"We'll be out for a while, Misato," Asuka told her, heading off anything else that would feed Shinji's anger. "We'll probably have dinner out. Baka owes me a night on the town. So you're on your own for dinner."

"But it's Shin-chan's night to cook!" Misato protested. "That's way better than even my best curry!"

"The last time you fed 'your best curry' to Pen Pen, he spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling and _barking_." Asuka's face held no mercy. "You've cut off my supply of Shinji-cuddles at night. Until you see reason and let us sleep in one bed again, you can suffer deprivation too."

Misato shot a pitiful look at Shinji. "Are you going to make me suffer like that, Shinji?"

"Sorry, Misato-san. She's my girlfriend, not you. And I miss the cuddling too."

"Fine," Misato huffed, mock-dramatically. "Stay in touch on your phones, be back before 2100, and no funny business just because you're out of my sight. I'll suffer through on take-out."

"Good!" Asuka declared, pulling Shinji along towards the door by his hand. "This is a proper date, dear baka, so you're paying for everything. Spend some of that munificent Pilot's pay for once."

"...We get paid?"


	22. Ch 20 - Advent Pt 4

Author's Note: I'm on a roll. Just two weeks since the last update, and here's 10k more words for you. This is my fault; every time someone new posts in the story thread on SufficientVelocity. com, I promise to update by the next Friday. This has gone on for 4 weeks running now, which means more for you. Next update there will be this Friday, as well.

Rei's having a bad day...

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XXX

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Sunday

"Caught you. Again. And this time I don't even have to put my gun to your head."

Kaji stood up from hoeing the last batch of weeds out of the row of melons and grinned at the purple-haired beauty who'd come to his hidden cabin and crop. "You don't have to put a gun to my head to get me to do anything you want, Katsuragi."

Misato snorted at the unsubtle come-on and looked around at the rows of melons. "So this is the big secret you've been hiding from me? I thought _my_ melons were the ones always on your mind." She crossed her arms under said assets and gave them a showy lift-and-squeeze.

He grinned wider. "It's true, I've been keeping this hidden. You've penetrated my deepest secret, Katsuragi. I am laid bare before you."

"That comes later," she deadpanned right back. "So... you have been a hard man. To find, that is. But now I've got you, and like I said in that message, I want some good, firm cutesy talk from you."

Kaji's sly grin didn't shift a hair. He even let his gaze drop to Misato's chest and linger a moment before he met her eyes again and winked. But the tiny nod he gave told her 'message received'. 'Cutesy talk' was the code phrase they'd agreed on weeks before for when they had important information to discuss on NERV's dark dealings, SEELE, and other dangerous matters.

He leaned the hoe up against the side of the small cabin next to the melon patch and opened the door. He waved for her to precede him inside. "Step into my office, Major, and let's have a nice little meeting."

Misato's face was set as she nodded and stepped inside, but she did trail a hand along his jaw and tap his lips as she passed.

He smiled a bit wider. 'Cutesy talk' was about to happen, but so was another 'little meeting' in what both of them knew was a rekindled relationship. He closed the door behind him as he followed her in.

Misato sat down on the bed, leaving Kaji to take the solitary chair at the tiny table that was the only other furniture in the small cabin. She locked eyes with him and carefully and silently mouthed 'we clear?'

He pulled an electronic sweeper out from a hidden spot above one of the rafters and did another sweep for bugs. He'd done so just an hour before when she'd texted him with the message that she needed to see him, anticipating this, but it didn't hurt to check again. The little device reported no bugs in the cabin. The screening trees around the building should make it impossible for anyone to be using an infrared laser to tap their conversation either. They were as secure as he could make them without employing more obvious active measures. He nodded to her and said, "We're clear."

She nodded. "Business first. Shinji and Asuka have concluded, and I think I believe them, that their mothers are somehow in the Cores of their Evangelions." Misato rapidly outlined their reasoning, including Hikari's encounter in the Core of Unit-03.

Kaji sucked in a deep breath through clenched teeth. "...well, shit. That... makes sense of a number of things, but gives us a whole new slate of questions."

"Rits has to know this. She knows more about how the Evas work than almost anyone alive, and she has very definitely not told us about this. So, why?"

"Ritsuko seems to know a lot of things she's not telling us," Kaji said. He scratched his stubbled chin thoughtfully. "She hasn't told us despite your position as Operations Commander, so this has to be related somehow to Commander Ikari's plan. Which also means she's still loyal to him if she's keeping that secret from you."

Misato nodded, her mouth a hard, flat line. She was already painfully aware that her oldest friend's loyalties appeared to lie with someone who they both were coming to suspect had intentions that did not quite match NERV's public mission of protecting humanity from the Angels. "The Children only just figured this out after the last battle. They intend to try communicating with their mothers directly the next time they're in their Evas."

"Even if that works, it's going to be a tricky thing no matter what with Ritsuko and the MAGI listening in and watching the whole time," Kaji said, his eyes flicking back and forth in thought.

"I'll keep my eyes on her when they try it, see if she reacts to anything unusual on the readings."

"I'll see if I can break into her files, in her office or her apartment. I've got the skills for that little bit of ninja sneaking." He ran his hand through his hair, wincing. "God, you know how many issues Asuka has about her mother. The chance to talk to her directly, after ten years? How's she going to take that?"

Misato grimaced. "That's the next thing... Shinji and Asuka are..." She waved her hands. "Together." She looked up at him. "And supposedly you knew about this?" Her tone was only slightly accusatory.

He raised his hands defensively. "I only figured that part out last week. I came by your place to see you. You weren't there, so I was waiting inside when they came in. They were talking about..." He shook his head. "Well, they sounded like you and I did in college. I was in the middle of talking to them about it when the Angel Alarm went off."

"So why didn't I hear about this right after?"

"Because right after the battle, Asuka promised me they'd come clean to you themselves within a week if I didn't tell on them, and if she hadn't told you by the end of the week that I could."

Misato bristled anyway. "Damn it, Kaji! I know they have been into each other pretty much since Asuka moved in, and that I've been encouraging them to ask each other out, but this is too much! They're not just 'together', they're sleeping together in one bed every night, literally and figuratively! They're too young for this!"

She blinked in surprise when the tall Inspector began laughing. He held up one hand when he noticed her glare sharpening. "Sorry, sorry! I can't help it. Look who's the model of adult responsibility now."

Misato stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh, shut up. It's not funny. They spent all of last week messing with me: strip chess matches against Pen Pen, foot massages on the couch, Asuka acting like Shinji and vice versa... they were trying to show me I didn't know them or things between them as well as I thought, that they were mature enough to handle this. I got them to promise to sleep separately and hold off on any fooling around until I had a chance to think things over and discuss it with you, but..." She rubbed at both her temples as if to ward off an impending headache. "Hell, Kaji. They mean this. When they came out of their rooms yesterday morning they greeted each other with a thorough kiss and linked hands before coming to the kitchen. They both looked like they hadn't slept a wink, but once they saw each other they just lit up, both of them. Not a word between them, just these warm damn looks. They spent half the day on a date, fully in public downtown. They spent the evening cuddling on the living room floor watching TV, just wrapped up in each other. And when they went to their rooms to sleep, it was like the morning in reverse: intense hug, a deep kiss, and trying to keep contact between their hands until the last possible second when they separated."

Kaji gave her a wistful half grin. "You sound almost envious," he said.

"I am!" Misato exclaimed. Her still-tightly bandaged arm came up to grab at the air, trying to seize something that wasn't there to hold. "Damn it, Kaji, now that they're not play-acting and trying to hide it at home, they practically _glow_ when they look at each other! Since their little reveal, I don't think I've seen them apart for more than a few minutes or when I send them to sleep in their rooms separately. Which as far as I can tell they _are_ keeping to. They're serious about this, totally in love with each other, and Hell _yes_ I'm envious! Two screwed up teenagers have apparently got their heads on straight and their love lives figured out, why can't _we_?" she demanded, breathing hard.

_'Was she just afraid of making the next step forward? You can really like someone and still be afraid of moving forward, because it's so intense. But when you do... it's worth everything you've risked and more,' _Shinji's voice echoed in his head. "Katsuragi... this isn't a nice restaurant like I suggested, but it's a better place than next to your stretcher at Matsushiro..." he began hesitantly.

She stiffened. They'd both backed off a bit from their near-talk at the blast site, at least in terms of what they were willing to say out loud to each other. The same old fears still had them. But that hadn't stopped them from getting a lot closer. She slept at his apartment a couple times a week at least these days. They no longer invited Ritsuko out to drinks, but were out most nights together. They both pretended they were just using the cover of a rekindled relationship to give them an excuse to meet and collaborate on Kaji's anti-SEELE work, and digging into NERV's secrets.

But they spent at least as much time just... being together now. Laughing and bullshitting like they hadn't done since college. Screwing just as much too. Their cover wasn't so much a cover for anyone watching them now. It was to dodge admitting to each other it wasn't a lie anymore. But neither of them had yet dared say so out loud.

"I... want that. What they have. We... we're..." Misato tried. "...why's it so hard for us?"

"Us," Kaji said quietly. "...is there an... 'us', now? Again? Are... can we...?"

Misato tensed on the bed. "I... let you get away once, Kaji. And we're already 'together' in this... thing with NERV and SEELE. If you want to... make it...official that we're... really together like that... starting again... then... I...I want it too," she said haltingly. "I never should have lied to you like that. I... don't deserve you, Kaji..."

"That's not true," he objected.

Misato continued as if he hadn't spoken. "But I want you." She reached up to take his hand and pull him towards her. "I want 'us' again. I don't know if I can... say it, yet, but... I want 'us'." He thumped helplessly down to sit on the bed next to her. "If Shinji and Asuka can figure this out, how to get past the walls between them... we can too," she continued.

_'Just words… have you said them to Misato-san?' _Shinji's voice prodded at him again. _'No, I haven't, because I'm a coward and don't deserve her,'_ he thought. He still pulled her against him, mindful of her bandaged arm. "I'd... like that," he said quietly. "Us. Katsuragi...I..."

She pulled his face to hers. "Just... we'll talk about it after..."

There was no talking for a while. Little meetings usually didn't involve much of such.

.

XXX

.

Kaji rubbed his face and reached over Misato for the pack of cigarettes on the table beside the bed. He put one in his mouth, handed her one as well, and lit them both. He stared meditatively at the ceiling, listening to Misato's breathing beside him, the creak of the bedframe as he changed position, and the tiny hiss-crinkle of the cigarette's tip flaring as she took a drag. _'Do it, you coward. What are you waiting for, her to really die next time?'_ he lashed himself.

"Shinji-kun... he seems serious about it. And more than that, Asuka believes he is. She... ah... said he's told her he loves her, and she believes him," he began.

Misato sighed. "Christ, Kaji... what are we going to do with them? I mean, if you'd asked me two weeks ago about them admitting they like each other and dating, I'd have been all for it. Hell, I'd have thrown them a party. But... sex? Sleeping together? They're too young! And the worst part is everything _else_ they pointed out about how they're going is right! Their synch rates are constantly rising, they've never gotten along so well before, and they're utterly unstoppable as a pair in battle because of this! They're so damn _happy_ together I'd feel like a gigantic bitch if I kept them apart, but what if it goes wrong? I've seen too many couples..." She rolled onto her side to look directly at him. "Do something stupid and cause a breakup or fight that didn't need to happen because they had an attack of fear or stupidity."

"We can't afford them taking eight years to stop it, either," he agreed wryly.

She snorted at him. "Not just like us. I... you know how volatile a mix sex, passionate emotion, and teenage hormones can be. Even if nothing goes wrong between them, I'm terrified one of them will... break ranks or do something desperate and suicidal in battle because the other is in danger or something."

"Like jumping into a volcano?" he asked. "Face it, Katsuragi, they've _already_ done that kind of thing for each other. And... watching them when that Angel appeared... I've never seen a couple that, mmm... well, 'in-synch' _is_ the word for it. They can have entire conversations with just a few looks. They're very, very close. If they _are_ more effective and potent like this, and they've been doing it successfully for months now, why not let them keep going?"

Misato almost scowled at her ex-ex-boyfriend. "Are you really saying I should turn a blind eye to my two _teenage_ wards sleeping together?"

"Why not?"

"The _teenage_ part! And the fact that the safety of the whole world against the Angels depends on me being able to count on them as Pilots! If something goes wrong, and assuming we're not all subsequently _killed_ by the Angel, the first damn question Commander Ikari is going to ask me is, 'Did you know about them? And if you did, why did you let it continue?'" She sighed and let her head flop onto his shoulder. "If I say 'ok, sure, move in together and screw each other's brains out every night,' and then it blows up in our faces, _I'll_ be at fault."

"If they're this good together, forcing them to separate will make their effectiveness crash. You could be just as at fault on that side," he pointed out.

"Gaaaaaah!" Misato rubbed her forehead with her free hand. "What are we going to do? These are our _kids_ messing around like this!"

Kaji couldn't restrain a burst of laughter. Misato's eyes narrowed. "What's so damn funny?"

He grinned at her, the same sly, sloppy grin as ever, but with new warmth behind it. "'Our' kids, huh? I like being back together, but I didn't know we'd have kids that fast."

She poked him in the side hard enough to make him jump. "Quit laughing! Or I'll suddenly have one of _those_ headaches before round two, mister!"

"Alright, alright!" he surrendered. "Well... they're better fighters and happier together, and they've spent a week playing with your perceptions of them to show you they're stable enough to handle it... I can't say making them unhappy by forcing them to sleep in separate rooms is what we want to do."

She frowned. "I thought you'd be with me on this, Kaji. Asuka said you argued with them too when you caught them."

"And I've had a week to think about it, and..." He shook his head. "You should have seen them when that Angel attacked, Katsuragi. They were shouting for Ayanami to take it down, cheering her on, Shinji coming up with the idea for them to sortie in Unit-03... and they never let go of each other's hand the entire time. And they couldn't have dual-synched to an unfamiliar Eva if they weren't that close. Commander Ikari won't ask about his son, I'm pretty sure. If anyone says anything, point them at that, but for now... let them be happy, and keep it quiet, I think. They've earned the chance to grasp what happiness they can in a war like this."

_'And asking them to wait when we could all die in a blink is... more than we can ask of Children we send to fight for us,' _he didn't say out loud. He could tell Misato heard it, though.

"They're just like us, huh?" Misato asked. She shrugged. "I don't know. They're doing better than we are, if they're that close and Shinji's... said those words to her. I'd almost say they're too young to know how much that means, but... They _are_ that serious about it. They do know. They live too close to dying too often not to know."

"So we're going to let 'our kids' be happy?" he prodded.

"I'll think about it." She stubbed the cigarette out in the ashtray after one last drag. "In the meantime, Mister Kaji, you should convince your ex-ex-girlfriend that you mean to fulfill your boyfriendly duties in a proper manner going forward."

He grinned that way again, and reached for her.

.

XXX

.

Weight returned and the cool, slick metal of the drainage grate at the bottom of the cylinder slowly pressed harder against the soles of Rei's feet as the LCL drained down past her face and body. She kept her face a cool mask, but inwardly she exulted. _'Finally, the healing and scan is done! I am free! I can see my friends in the morning! The ones I love, and that care for me!'_

She stepped back and bent at the waist, like she was bowing to the door of the room, and relaxed her throat. The LCL filling her lungs and nose dribbled out slowly into the drain that was now below her face. The sensation would have been strange and nauseating if it hadn't been one Rei had experienced hundreds of times over the last few years. Right now, she didn't even notice it. She was too preoccupied with controlling her face, keeping the smile that wanted to break free under restraint.

She was so lost in her happy anticipation of seeing her two favorite people and their glowing bond again she failed to notice the approaching footsteps of Doctor Akagi until she straightened up. The labcoated scientist was standing right in front of Rei, a cool expression on her face.

And a large syringe in her right hand.

Rei was fleetingly glad her natural paleness kept the way the blood drained from her face from showing. She fought to keep her face blank. She couldn't scream, couldn't show her distress. She couldn't even say anything; Doctor Akagi always spoke first.

"Hold out your arm, Rei." She raised the syringe.

Rei slowly complied, trying not to shake. _'No no no no no no more drugs, not more drugs...'_ "What is it, Doctor Akagi?" she made herself ask in a calm, dull voice.

"Your psychographs were too erratic and active this week, Rei. Your body must be adapting to the medicine that stabilizes you. I'm increasing the dose. There's a bag with the increased dosage pills for your daily supplements on the table in the lab outside. Take them with you, stop taking the older ones. This is a booster shot. Don't worry, you won't feel a thing."

_'That is precisely what I'm worried about! No no no don't please don't no!'_

The needle tore its tiny hole in her skin, the old familiar sting. Doctor Akagi withdrew the syringe, instructing Rei to put pressure on the spot for a moment to halt the bleeding. Rei obeyed, pressing far harder on the spot than she had to, as if she could push the drugs out of her body before they... they... took...effect...

"I do believe it's working. Good. That'll keep you going through the night. Come on, it's time to go." She turned away.

If Doctor Akagi had been watching, she might of noticed the careful rigidity that Rei held her face to melt swiftly into a far more eerie stillness. But she was already walking away. "It's too late for you to bother returning to your apartment, Rei. Just use the cot in the old lab and go directly to school in the morning. Next Synch Test is on Thursday. Return then. For now, just go to sleep." the faux-blonde said as she left without looking back.

Rei didn't move, didn't cry out, didn't give any sign of distress. She just stood there in the empty upload chamber of Terminal Dogma for a long, long time, the blank eyes of her backup clones mindlessly watching her from the circling tank. Her stare back at them was all but identical.

Eventually, she took slow, robotic steps forward, walking towards to the exit door. She would not need clothes before the morning. She had nothing else to do but go to her assigned cot and sleep, as ordered.

Though that was hours more sleep than she required, the wait would not bother her. Nothing bothered her now. Deep inside, beneath layers of fog and comfortable numbness, a tiny voice wailed in anguished protest at the return of the hazy stupor that had so long consumed her thoughts, but it was soon extinguished, no match for the tidal wave of drugs coursing through her.

But it was okay. It no longer bothered her at all.

.

XXX

.

Monday

"You ready for this, Shinji?"

Two young Pilots stared hard at the gate to the schoolyard like they were about to charge into a hail of gunfire. Their tightly linked hands hadn't left each other's grip the entire way to school, both trying to get psyched up for this.

The thin boy nodded. "I'm nervous as Hell, trying not to freak out, and wish we were back home in our room. I think I was less nervous for the fight with Sachiel. As ready as I'm going to be."

Asuka nodded, squeezing his hand. "Me too. But I've been thinking about this moment since... pretty much the first morning after our kiss. Since we're blown to Misato, there's no reason for me not to claim you good and publicly, now. And you have no idea how much I wanted to some days." She smiled at him.

Shinji gave her a more shy smile in return. "Still can't get over the idea of someone as amazing as you wanting me back, Asuka."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Better get used to the idea, Third Child. 'Until the end of the world, you and me', remember? You promised. You're mine." She reddened a little and looked away. "Just like I'm yours," she said a little more softly.

"As long as you'll have me," he agreed, matching her blush. He scratched the back of his head with his free hand. "I-i-i'll try not to melt in front of the class."

"Giant monsters from beyond, you're a tiger. Publicly announcing you and I are a couple, and you get all nervous? You are my dearest baka, alright," Asuka said drolly.

"I know the real you, Asuka," Shinji managed to smile back at her. "You're halfway between being nervous just like I am, and ready to shout "I'm in love!" from the roof of the school."

"Yeah, well, maybe," she admitted. She squeezed his hand again. "So let's go do it."

They marched inside, doing their best to ignore the stares they were starting to draw from the kids in the schoolyard. They'd never been low profile once they'd all been outed as Eva Pilots, but after a while they'd at least stopped getting quite as many looks just from walking around. Plus, Asuka's loud antagonism of Shinji was known to the entire student body, so the two of them walking in hand-in-hand left a trail of buzzing rumor in their wake as they headed to their classroom.

They marched in, and turned right to the desk near the door. Asuka's expression shifted to a disappointed frown when they found Hikari's desk empty, though. "Damn it. I guess they've still got her quarantined in the hospital. Stupid bullshit... Hikari's not contaminated by anything!"

Asuka turned to look at the deputy Class Rep, who sat right behind Hikari's usual spot. "Hey, Iwao-san, I've got a quick announcement to make to the class before Sensei comes in. Is that a problem?"

Junko Iwao blinked at being on the receiving end of Asuka at full blast, and meekly nodded. "Th-that's fine, Soryu-san. It's n-not long, is it?"

"It should only take a minute," Asuka confirmed. She looked at the clock above the blackboard. "One minute to the bell, anyhow. Ready?" she asked Shinji.

He nodded. Still hand-in-hand, they walked to the center of the front of the classroom, right in front of the blackboard. They waited as the last students filed in and the bell rang.

They got a few curious looks from the students, wondering why they were standing there. Shinji briefly met the eyes of Touji and Kensuke. Touji had a look of dawning horror as he noticed their handclasp. Kensuke looked up from his palmtop and blinked at the two of them, then started to grin as he reached for his camcorder. Shinji just blushed a bit more. He didn't worry too much about what the rest of the class was going to say, but the opinions of his friends had a bit more weight.

Once she was satisfied she had everyone's attention, Asuka left off her glaring contest with Tanaka and the other girls who were still pursuing Shinji and began. "I'm sure this will not surprise some of you." She shot a look at Tanaka and followers. "And will disappoint others, but as of today and from now on, Shinji and I are... well..." She turned to Shinji, dropped the handclasp, and put her hands on either side of his face. She pulled him right into the deepest, most intense kiss she could manage.

Shinji heard a wave of gasps ripple through the classroom. He couldn't stop his lips from curling into as much of a broad smile as he could in the middle of a kiss. His eyes drifted shut in synch with Asuka's. It was a long, long minute before he felt her pull away with a tiny sigh of happiness. He reopened his eyes just in time to catch her peaceful expression of contentment shift into a catlike grin as she turned to the class and simply growled, "_Any questions?_"

She didn't even get another word out before Tanaka leapt to her feet and slammed a hand on her desk. "You and Ayanami have been all over him for weeks, Soryu! This is totally unfair!"

"This contest was over before it began, Tanaka," Asuka almost sneered at her. "You were _never_ good enough for him. He's saved this city even more times than I have. He deserves someone who doesn't just want him as a prize like you do."

"And _you'll_ be any better? You've treated him like your private pet, butler, and chew toy since the day you got here! You foreign bitch, I-"

A firm voice interrupted her. "_Asuka_ has been my wingmate, partner, and _friend_ since the day we met. We killed an Angel together within _two hours_ of meeting each other. I know she's not just trying to 'bag an Evangelion Pilot' because she's one too. And there is _no one_ here who is braver, smarter, or hotter than her, Tanaka-san. And if you'd ever _asked_ me about it at any time in the last three months, I'd have told you so, instead of just ignoring anything I said when I tried to be polite about telling you I wasn't looking for anyone to 'walk home with' or 'go shopping downtown with'. And if you ever call her that again I will not try to stop her at all when she rips your eyes out."

The resulting silence was louder than thunder. Everyone stared at Shinji, Asuka included. "Holy shit, Shinji! Where did that co-"

Asuka got no further, her next words transformed into a surprised "Yeek!" and he suddenly wrapped one arm around her waist, the other cupped the back of her head, and he dipped her backwards into a passionate kiss of his own. He smoothly brought her back up after a long moment, enjoying the purring smile she now wore. He turned to the students himself this time. "Again, _any questions?_"

Tanaka's mouth flapped a few times at him in confusion before she sat back down with a thump. After a moment's ringing silence an excited buzz started back up. Shinji saw several bets changing hands. "Called it!" Kensuke crowed from the back row. He was noticeably collecting several bets. "A Monday before class! Did I call it or what? Eh, Touji?" He elbowed his friend.

Touji's mouth was a wary frown. "I thought I was joking about the 'married couple' thing," he muttered. "Seriously, Shin-man? The Red Demon? I-"

He was interrupted by the teacher coming in. Iwao-san snapped out of the open-mouthed surprise she'd fallen into at their first kiss, and urgently gestured for Shinji and Asuka to take their seats. "Er... err, ah, R-rise! Bow! Sit!" she stuttered as their teacher took his place behind the lectern and opened the roll book.

Shinji couldn't contain his smile, grinning all the way to his desk. He settled into his seat with a happy sigh. He turned to the bluenette in the seat one over and forward from him. "Hey, Rei. What did you think about our big announcement?" he asked with a smile.

Rei finally turned from her uninterrupted stare out the window, slowly turning her head to face him. Shinji blinked, his smile fading as he suddenly realized Rei hadn't even turned to look when they'd done it.

The most blank, dead expression he'd ever seen greeted him. Rei blinked at him, silent. She met his stare for a moment before turning back to the window without a word. The teacher began to call the roll.

"Ayanami?" the teacher asked.

"Yes," Rei said robotically, her voice flatter and deader than Shinji had ever heard. She kept staring out the window.

Shinji felt his blood run cold. He snapped a look at Asuka, who matched his stunned and worried look. "Rei? Rei? Wondergirl, are you alright?" she asked in a concerned whisper, tapping the First Child on the shoulder from her seat right behind her.

Rei didn't even twitch. Asuka might as well have been talking to a... doll.

"Oh... oh no..." Asuka whispered, her voice ash.

Shinji felt his heart sink. Asuka was the love of his life, but Rei had almost as big a hold on his heart. The only other person in the world who told him he was loved, and now... He fought not to shiver.

Rei watched a bird fly past the clouds outside, and blinked slowly.

.

XXX

.

Rei remained all but unresponsive all day. Touji and Kensuke joined them for a very subdued and silent lunch. Touji made some pro forma complaints about Shinji and Asuka's declaration of the morning, but his mind was clearly on other things: he'd had just one brief phone call from Hikari all last week, and she'd only had enough time to explain she was being held in quarantine until further notice.

It was Kensuke, the only member of the group still in a relatively good mood who finally noticed. "Hey... guys, what's wrong with Ayanami-san? She's... acting kind of weird. Like... like she used to, all silent and stuff."

Shinji and Asuka shared a fearful look. "Ah... she has to take some medication from NERV, Aida," Asuka improvised. "I think she might be having a bad reaction today or something. We'll talk to Misato after school, make sure she gets checked out."

Kensuke blinked behind his round spectacles. "Oh? Um... ok. Just... as long as you're alright, Ayanami-san. I still owe you for setting me up on all those dates."

Rei blinked at him. She hadn't responded verbally to anything but the most direct questions all morning, and barely any outside of responding to an authority figure.

Shinji bit his cheek to stop himself from showing more worry on his face. He was grateful for the nearly telepathic ability he and Asuka had gained to read each other. In their exchanged glances, she'd made it clear they had to put off any serious questioning of Rei until they could get her alone afterschool, and that _that _would be their priority. _'So much for asking Rei about her mother, or telling her about ours. I'm not sure she'd even notice us saying it right now,'_ Shinji worried.

"I think it makes her really sleepy, Aida," Asuka deflected. "I...wait, _dates_? What dates?"

"Um... Ayanami-san really... uh... raised my profile with a bunch of the girls that were chasing Shinji. She... uh... got a bunch of them to ask me out. So I've... kind of got dates every night this week and the next one. I'm... umm... I was actually going to ask if I could borrow some money, Shinji. I'm really running out, trying to take all these girls out."

For the first time that day, Asuka looked at Shinji not with nervousness or worry. Pure disbelief ruled her face now. "...loan money to Geek-Stooge. So he can afford all the dating he's doing." She sounded like she was unsure if she should laugh or cry that the world was gone mad.

Shinji just took out his wallet without looking and handed Kensuke two 5000 yen bills.

"Geek-Stooge is booked up all week, and is running out of money from all the dating. I... the world makes no sense anymore..." Asuka complained to Rei automatically. She winced as she realized her mistake.

Rei's dead look did swivel towards Kensuke, however. "...good," Rei said, still very flat.

Kensuke blushed and stammered some thanks at Rei while Shinji shot a hopeful look at Asuka. She nodded, looking a hair less worried.

.

XXX

.

The walk home was tense. Shinji and Asuka left the school hand-in-hand again, to the venomous glares of Tanaka and a few others who seemed unwilling to give up hope that Shinji would look their way instead, though most seemed to accept they had no hope of competing with Asuka after Shinji's speech. The two Pilots hardly paid them any attention, though. All their concern was focused on the still all but silent First Child.

Once they were a good few hundred meters from the school, Asuka tried to get a response. "Rei. Answer me. Are you alright?"

Rei kept walking, footsteps as steady and regular as a metronome. "Yes," she eventually said very softly.

"You don't sound 'alright'. You sound... like a damn doll again. Did..." Asuka sucked in a shocked breath. She got in front of her and grabbed Rei's shoulders, halting her walk. "Did that fucking witch doctor do something to you again?!"

Rei stared at her, blank. "Doctor... Akagi... adjusted my medication," she eventually said very slowly.

Asuka shivered. "_Scheiße_. That _witch_. Fine... ok... Rei, you're going to be alright. We'll get you back to your apartment and... fuck..." She looked at Shinji, still at a loss. "Shinji?"

"Fucking... Ikari... kun... is... your... job," Rei said, slow and dead.

They both stared at Rei. A hopeful smile started to break out on Asuka's face, matching the one on Shinji's. "Wondergirl, are you still in there?"

Rei stood silent for a moment, but eventually said, "Yes."

Rei blinked again when Asuka suddenly crushed her with a tight hug. "Thank _Gott_, Rei. We'll get you through this. I'm not having NERV and Doctor Bitch turn the only other person who I know loves me into a doll."

Shinji swallowed. He took a couple of deep breaths to fend off threatening tears, then put his arms around both of the girls and hugged them. "We love you too, Rei. Everything will be alright. You're not alone."

"Yes," was all Rei said. Shinji tried to let that comfort him more than noticing Rei had made no move to hug them back saddened him.

.

XXX

.

Shinji dug the lockbox of medication and substitutive drugs from the back of Rei's closet where it was hidden under a pile of extra clothes and blankets. He rushed back to the kitchen of Rei's apartment, where Asuka was guiding Rei into a chair at the table. Rei was still reacting to Asuka's guidance with dull compliance and silence.

Rei sat staring at the table for a minute after Asuka sat her down. She finally looked up slowly at Shinji as he brought in the lockbox. She stared at the box once he put it down in front of her before looking back to Asuka and saying, "Paper."

Asuka raised an eyebrow, but pulled a sheet of notebook paper out of her schoolbag and placed it in front of Rei with a pencil.

Rei stared at the pencil for a moment before picking it up, and very slowly beginning to write.

"'Hard to think. Talk. Doctor Akagi. Increased dose. Injection last night. Took pill morning, before remembered. Need antagonist. Flumazenil, 2cc. Bottle labeled 'Antagonist #2', 10cc. Put in saline IV bag. Get stand. IV line. Help?'" Asuka read off as Rei laboriously wrote, her handwriting still surgically precise. She nodded to Shinji, but he was already digging into the box, finding the requested items. Asuka retrieved the IV stand from the closet, and watched as Shinji took the needle kit from the box and very carefully inserted the IV line to Rei's left forearm.

"Do you know how long this will take to... wash out of you, Rei?" he asked quietly as he taped the line down.

"No," Rei replied, still flat. She picked up the pencil again.

"'Feel nothing. Foggy. Do not want this. Feel nothing. Want feeling back'," Asuka read again. She looked up at Shinji and ground her teeth. "Shinji, you're going to have to keep me away from _that woman_ for a good long while. I may not be able to stop myself from punching her teeth in, or injecting _her_ with a syringe full of this scheiße the next time I see her! She can't _do _this to Rei! She loves us! Now she can't even feel it!"

Shinji just nodded, his mouth a grim line. "I'll... make us something. Food should help her."

Before he got more than a couple of steps towards the kitchen, Rei's pencil started scratching again.

Asuka looked once again. "'More hugs?' Any time you need, Rei." She quickly gave Rei one. "Food can wait. Get over here, Shinji. She needs us."

"Yes," the First and Third Children said in stereo. It brought a sad smile to Shinji's face as he put his arms around Rei from behind her chair.

.

XXX

.

"Asuka, this is serious..." Shinji said softly to her as he brought back more washcloths to the table to wipe Rei's face with. The bluenette had been intermittently vomiting into the sink and a bucket for the last 2 hours.

The redhead shook her head again. "I said I don't want to."

"Asuka, neither one of us is a doctor. We can't... it's not safe for _Rei_ to have to rely on just us for this! Look at her!" Shinji stood next to her and rubbed Rei's back again. She was shaking more violently now.

"Feel... my feet. But... not," Rei slurred. "They're not my feet. I don't have any legs. They cut them off, made a puppet out of them... Can't move... My hands hurt..." She looked up at her two friends. "Why do my hands hurt?" Her head slumped back down onto the kitchen table.

Asuka chewed her lower lip. "I...damn it, Shinji! You know how I feel about this! My step-mother tried medicating away my problems with drugs when I was seven! Tried to make _me_ into a peaceful little doll! I know what it's like to have drugs making your head feel like it doesn't belong to you anymore. Better living through chemistry!" Asuka spat. "And I'm none too happy learning NERV has been doing the same to my friend for who the Hell knows how long! I don't trust any of them!"

"You know Misato-san's not like that," her boyfriend countered. "You said yourself she was your best guardian besides Kaji-san, and she said she was at least considering keeping you and I secret from NERV and my father. And..." Shinji's face got starker. "If we can't trust Misato-san with this, who can we trust? We're still just kids, Asuka. We're not doctors, not... we need help on this. There's no way we can cover this up. Rei's in no shape to go to school tomorrow, and there's no way Misato-san will believe Rei and both of us have suddenly all gotten sick together and need the day off from school."

"I _know_!" Asuka almost shouted. "I'm as worried about her as you are, you know that! I lo-..." she stumbled hard on the word. "...I love Rei as much as you do. And I know even better than you just how... how bad Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome can get. I just... I don't trust anyone connected to NERV about this. NERV _did_ this to her! I know Misato is... agh, it's still hard, alright? I...nnng..." Asuka ran her hands through her hair in frustration

"Neither one of us wants to leave Rei's side right now, but if we're not home when she gets there, working on homework and making dinner, she's going to notice no matter what," Shinji pointed out. "We have to say _something _to her soon. She'll be home within half an hour..." He looked nervously at the clock on the kitchen wall.

Asuka sat down on the other side of Rei, taking Rei's shaking hand, trying to still the vibration. "Damn it. I was hoping we could just... I don't know, tell her we were having a sleep-over here for the night to celebrate seeing Rei again after a week."

"She'd just think we were trying to get out from under her eye for sleeping together," Shinji predicted sadly.

Asuka shook her head. "I'm pretty sure she knows we've been good about that. Trying to convince her she can treat us as mature adults about it. Which I hate, by the way." Asuka rubbed at her eyes. "I slept like shit again. No nightmares, but... I can feel them, waiting. I want you back in bed with me, Shinji. I need you."

"Me too. The sleep, I mean," Shinji nodded. "A-and the... needing you. My room's just too... empty and quiet alone." He looked down at Rei, still patting her back.

"My body is still sleeping down below. This body isn't my body. I can't move. I feel cold. Bleeding, bleeding, but I don't bleed. I... I've never bled. Not like that. Only from the wounds. They never stop bleeding..." Rei mumbled. "And the other me in the body of the other flesh is screams so much. She hurts, and I hurt too when I sit in her... but I have to. I have to protect you both..."

Shinji paused in his patting and looked at Rei, his worry visibly increasing. "Asuka... we can't handle this alone. Rei's... not sounding very coherent. We... we need to trust Misato."

"Damn damn damn... even if we move Rei over to our apartment and put her in my room for the 'sleepover', Misato will want to see her," Asuka said half to herself. "Nnnnng... Fine! You trust her, baka mine, and I trust you. So... I'll tell her. And hope to Gott you're right about her."

Asuka let go of Rei's hand and began gathering up the medical lockbox and supplies they'd been using. "Start walking her over to our apartment and get her settled on our room. I'll grab some of her clothes and things so she can really stay over. I think she's going to need it. And I'll explain to Misato why she's hooked up to an IV drip and babbling crazy shit. We go full disclosure: we tell her about the drugs, that we got Rei off them over the last three months, and," Asuka's mouth twisted in a sour expression. "That Doctor Malpractice may have just shoved Rei right into an Benzodiazepine overdose, plus all those other dissociatives and other nastiness in that cocktail."

Shinji just nodded. "I know Misato-san won't let us down." He helped Rei to her feet, and started her towards the door, the IV stand in tow.

Asuka set her jaw. "I hope you're right."

.

XXX

.

Misato's hand twitched and started to rise, and again she forced it down. She was not some lovestruck teenager like Shinji or Asuka. She didn't need to march around holding her boyfriend's (Boyfriend! _Boyfriend_!) hand to prove to herself or the world that they were together again. Besides, the apartment door was just ahead, and they'd be inside in a moment. No time to show off anyhow.

She fought down another elated giggle that tried to escape. Still, it was tempting...

She swiped her keycard through the lock and spun in place to snag another kiss from Kaji as he followed close behind her. He happily complied, his hands slipping down to encircle her waist as she drew him through the door and down the hall to the kitchen.

She broke the kiss with a grin. "So, I hope whatever Shin-chan was making for dinner can handle one more mouth, since you're staying the night."

Kaji's eyebrows went up. For all the times Misato had stayed over at his place over the last several weeks, he'd never been allowed to stay over at her apartment. Unspoken by both of them was the recognition that step would have been admitting they weren't just fooling around anymore. Now...

He couldn't stop the sloppy grin. "Guess I'll have to hope no one notices I'm still in yesterday's shirt tomorrow."

"Shinji can run it through the laundry in a hur-... ah... Hi, Asuka."

The Second Child was sitting at the kitchen table, still in her student uniform, calmly watching them as they came in from the entrance hallway. Her hands were carefully folded on the table in front of her. She nodded at them. "Misato. Hello, Kaji. It's good to see you." Her voice was anything but happy.

Misato examined Asuka's serious look and her own amorous smile faded. "What is it?"

"Rei's in my room right now. She'll be staying the night. Maybe the next too, we're not sure," Asuka said.

"A little sleepover is fine, Asuka, but she lives right next door, so...?"

"Shinji's with her right now."

"You trust your boyfriend alone with her? My my..." Misato tried to joke, but it fell flat against Asuka's grim look. "Why is he in there, then?"

"Because my friend is in the middle of a Benzodiazpine overdose, shaking, incoherent, and we're concerned she might go into a coma," Asuka said calmly with no change of tone. "Shinji is staying with her, trying to keep her anchored in the real world. She's been in and out of touch with reality for a while."

Misato froze. She could feel Kaji stiffen likewise behind her. Misato licked her suddenly dry lips. "What?"

"I have your attention? Good." Asuka worked her jaw. "You wanted us to prove we're mature and can be trusted with handling adult matters? Well here it is. I didn't want this. But on the advice and trust of my beloved baka, I'm willing to trust you not to take this to NERV."

Asuka took a deep breath. "For I don't know how long, but at least as far back as Shinji or I have known her and well before that, Doctor _Akagi_," Asuka snarled the name, "has been forcing Rei to take a Hell-brew cocktail of sedatives, tranquilizers, dissociatives, mood suppressors, and hormonal contraceptives. Last night Doctor Bitch thought Rei looked too normal, and shot her full of an increased dose. Now she's close to coma and crash from it."

Misato felt cold fingers run down her neck. "Jesus, what the Hell, Asuka?"

"Shinji and I found out about it shortly after Leliel. I spotted the drugs in her old apartment. I _recognized_ them. My step-mother is a psychiatric doctor. When I failed to be the perfect, placid little _doll_ she wanted in the wake of... my real mother, she... tried using drugs on me. So when I saw Rei with those, I almost freaked out. She said Doctor Akagi required her to take them daily, and that Commander Ikari had authorized it. That's why she was such a zombie. She was always drugged to the gills."

"Y-... you knew about this _three months ago_, and you're just telling me _now_?! Asuka, what the Hell were you think-" Misato exclaimed.

"Because NERV _did_ this to her, Misato! And _you're _ NERV!" Asuka shouted back, her hands slamming on the table. "Because I've got fucking _issues_ with authority figures trying to drug me, and finding out that NERV has been drugging the _shit_ out of my friend made me a little fucking worried about who I could trust anymore! I'm only even willing to do _this_ because Shinji trusts you, I trust him, and you haven't blown the whistle on us to Commander Asshole! How was I supposed to be sure you'd never do something like this, if this has NERV's full approval?!"

"I'd never-!" Misato shot back, but stopped. "Ritsuko... wait, after Leliel? That was... That's when you came back from visiting her apartment and complaining until I got her moved here. Why didn't...grrr... Ritsuko didn't say a damn word, either."

Misato flexed her hands into tight fists and back again a few times. "Alright." She sat down at the table right across from Asuka, waving for Kaji to sit beside her. She forced her expression into her best military officer face and met Asuka's gaze. "Start from the beginning."

Asuka laid it all out. The drugs, Rei's explanation that NERV required it of her, the daily pills, their decision to help wean Rei off them once Rei had accepted that the drugs were only harming her, the long struggle to help Rei through the withdrawal symptoms... and now Doctor Akagi unknowingly sending a cleaned-out Rei into an overdose. "We've been giving her antagonists she stole from Doctor Akagi's lab, through an IV line since we got home from school. But she's been shaking uncontrollably and babbling incoherently for the last couple hours. Shinji and I need to call in sick to school tomorrow. We're not leaving her, and she's in no shape to even get out of bed right now."

Misato just stared for a long moment. "Goddamit, Rits..." she whispered. "What the Hell are you doing?" Her face hardened. "Alright. Show us to her," she said to Asuka.

Asuka stood up without a word and led them through the living room and down the short hall to her room. She knocked gently, then slid the door open.

Shinji looked up from his seat on the edge of the bed where he sat holding Rei's hand. His gaze flicked worriedly from Kaji to Misato before settling back to Asuka. She just nodded to him, then walked to the far side of the bed to take Rei's other hand.

"H-hello, Kaji-san. Welcome home, Misato-san," Shinji greeted them quietly. He quickly looked back down at Rei.

Misato pursed her lips as she noted the IV drip hanging from the stand by the bed, then looked down at the First Child herself.

The bluenette was shaking intermittently, her eyes darting around without focusing on anything. She was mumbling to herself, "Always dripping. Stupid little boat. Why is it there?"

"She's been just babbling for hours now," Shinji said sadly. "And shaking a lot." He looked at Asuka. "What did she say?"

Asuka just jerked her chin at Misato. "Nothing yet. I just told her that we need to stay with her."

Misato just watched Rei for a moment. "You said she detoxed once already, two months ago?"

Shinji and Asuka nodded together.

"I don't recall anything like this," Misato noted.

"She hadn't just been given a huge 'booster' dose by your friend," Asuka said darkly. She handed Misato a sheet of paper. "This is what she wrote out for us, before she just started shaking and saying disconnected stuff."

Misato took the sheet and scanned it. Rei's recognizable handwriting described Ritsuko's abrupt injection of what she thought was just an increase to Rei's dose. She handed the sheet to Kaji.

He read it just as quickly. "And since Rei was clean, the result was an overdose, mm?" Kaji looked at the list of medications Asuka had written at the bottom. "Jesus, Ritsuko... sedatives, dissociatives... How did Rei even _function_ under all this? And _why_? This is the kind of stuff you give major violent psychotics, not... the First Child."

"Rei's no violent psychotic," Asuka scowled. "You saw what she was like clean over the last several weeks, just more alive and normal. I don't know why they were doing this, but I'm not letting them hurt my friend like that anymore. You've got to let us stay with her tomorrow, Misato. She needs us."

"Then you know why I can't let you stay home, Asuka." Misato put up her hand to forestall Asuka's obvious imminent explosion. "Asuka, you, Rei, and Shinji are three quarters of all the Eva Pilots we _have_. You think the three of you can all suddenly 'get sick' and not show up at school and think no one will notice? You and Shinji have to go to school."

"But Misato, we-!" Asuka began.

"Listen to me, Asuka!" Misato said sharply over her. "You wanted to show me you're mature? Bring this to me, asking to help you cover up... whatever the Hell this is they're doing to Rei? Then this is it! I don't know why Ritsuko is doing this, or Commander Ikari is ordering or condoning it, but we _will_ find out. We all know NERV is up to some strange, dark things. And if you don't want our looking into that to be discovered _we cannot draw attention_!" Misato emphasized.

Asuka looked like she was almost in pain. "Please, Misato! Rei needs us!"

"She needs serious medical help, Asuka. Neither you or Shinji are a doctor. What you both _are_, however, is a pair of high visibility Pilots whose absence from school will be noticed. I'm not even sure I can keep Rei out of school without it raising flags at NERV HQ." Misato's eyes narrowed. "Speaking of medical attention, why is this the first I'm hearing about Rei being drugged. Why didn't you tell me about this when you complained about her apartment?"

"I already told you; NERV did this to her. You're NERV. We weren't sure who we could trust at all, Misato," Asuka said a little angrily. "If Commander Ikari personally ordered this, who can Shinji and I trust? I'm only trusting you this much because Shinji does, and I knew you and Kaji from before." Asuka looked down at the sweating and shivering First Child. "We didn't tell you or anyone else because... there's not a single doctor in this entire city that doesn't either work for NERV or can't be leaned on by NERV. I know she needs a doctor but... who? Rei is... almost as important to me as Shinji. I... we have to help her, Misato. She needs us the way Shinji and I need each other."

"We will. We'll figure out something," Misato assured her. "But damn it, Asuka, Shinji, this is the kind of thing I need to know about!"

Shinji spoke up. "Misato-san... it's hard for us to trust anyone who's not a Pilot right now. This, and... our mothers..."

Misato wanted to growl at him some more about not being told things this important about her kids, but had to acknowledge the point. _She_ didn't trust NERV any more than they did right now. "Alright. Well, you get your wish tonight, Asuka. You and Shinji get to sleep next to each other..."

Asuka and Shinji both straightened up and blinked.

"...next to Rei. We're moving her to the living room so all of us can keep watch on her through the night. You both can set up your futons next to her, _on either side_," Misato continued. "Asuka, you and I are going to go over everything we can about these drugs and the antagonists while Shinji keeps his eye on her. We'll figure out everything we can do for her right now. Kaji, you think you can find a doctor that can keep their mouth shut that can give us a hand with this? Maybe just an anonymous consult?"

Kaji nodded. "I can find a doc or two, not mention names. At least get some actual trained medical advice on how to deal with overdose and withdrawal like this." He shot a look back towards the kitchen. "Not going to do that on the landline here, though. I'll be back in half an hour." He headed for the door.

Asuka watched him go. "Sorry for interrupting your night, Misato. Guess you and Kaji had your talk?"

Misato nodded. "We did. We said a few things. You and Shinji are still going to have to behave for now. This takes priority."

Asuka and Shinji just nodded acceptance. "That's fine, Misato-san. Rei is... We couldn't sleep happily knowing she was like this. She shouldn't have to be alone right now," Shinji said slowly, looking at the bluenette.

Rei had finally lapsed into a fitful sleep. "Sleeping so long... my children all over... Protect them..." Rei mumbled.

Asuka shook her head. "She hasn't made any sense all afternoon. Whatever's in those drugs she got hit with, it's really messed her up."

"We'll figure out something, Asuka. Worst case, we get her on her feet tomorrow, I drop you all off just out of sight of the school, and as long as she can walk into class and be there for the roll, I can pick her up right after and get her back here," Misato said. "That way she won't prompt an alert from the school about being out sick, and I think I can cover the rest from NERV alerts. She's with a NERV officer, right?" Misato put her hand on Rei's shoulder. "Rei's tough. She's been through worse. She's got you both to support her now. She'll pull through."

Asuka and Shinji looked back to Rei. "I hope so, Misato-san. Rei's... we care about her," Shinji said.

.

XXX

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A/N: At this rate, next update here will be before the end of 2015. Reviews and comments in the thread keep the motivation up.


	23. Ch 21 - Advent Pt 5

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I was a bit optimistic when I thought I'd have a new update before 01JAN16. But to make up for it, here's 10k more words for A&amp;T. Ritsuko and Rei have bad days.

XXX

A pair of chopsticks picks listlessly at a carefully prepared bento. Occasionally a morsel is selected and eaten, but the meal proceeds far slower than the appetizing and custom-prepared food deserves. A wordless look of apology is shot at her partner, sitting next to her. She can tell her lack of appetite and slow eating is observed and noticed.

A matching look of understanding and concurrence is returned, with hints of love and affection mixed in with acknowledgement of mutual worry over the same cause. His own lunch is hardly more touched. A slight nod of his head tells her it's alright and that it doesn't bother him, since he knows why she's worried.

Touji looked helplessly back and forth between his friend and his newly admitted girlfriend, his jaw hanging open as he watches them have an entire conversation without a single word said out loud. "This is downright disturbin'..."

The statement broke in on Shinji's absorption. He turned to face his friend, finally. "Eh? What is, Touji?"

Touji sat back, leaning on his hands. The three of them had selected a corner of the school roof for their lunch seating. "You two. It's too weird, watching you and the Red De-... er, Soryu-san be all... couple-y. I mean, you two have been... um... kinda... well, there was _somethin'_ goin' on for the last few months, but... I could kinda understand that. You'd apologize for somethin', she'd be a raging bitc-... um... angry, and it was... familiar, y'know? But this," he waved his hands at them, "is just _confusin'_! You're bein' all... _cute_ and stuff at each other. And... um... Hikari said you're..." He blushed. "You're... um..." his voice shrank to almost a whisper. "Um... s-s-sleeping together?"

"Not this week," Asuka growled unhappily. "Misato asked us to 'behave' while she thinks it over whether we should be _allowed_ to do that anymore. And we have been, to show her we're not just all over each other for being horny teens. Which has left me a _bit_ frustrated, Stooge, on top of my being worried for Rei, so don't get on my nerves. If Shinji and I want to be 'couple-y' at school while we can, we're going to."

"Ah... yes, we um... were, Touji. Not... um... not _that_ every night," Shinji clarified with a blush of his own. "But... sleeping in the same bed. It... we didn't feel alone anymore." His hand sought Asuka's, and their fingers laced together without a look. "That was what we needed. And that's really what we want Misato to ok."

A troubled look flitted across Asuka's face. "Speaking of Hikari... any word?"

Touji shook his head. "Nothin'. No phone call last night, nothing since last Wednesday. They won't let me go see her, either. That Doctor Akagi told me I wasn't allowed, that she was running some kinda 'delicate tests' on her that I couldn't disturb." He looked intensely worried. "I... guess I kinda know what ya mean, about... I don't feel right without her no more. This... can't you two find out anything? You're NERV Pilots too. And... Major Katsuragi was here just this morning, picking up Ayanami for somethin'! Can she...?" The big jock's hands nervously grasped at nothing.

Shinji and Asuka shared a look. Shinji watched the blood drain from his girlfriend's face and felt her hand suddenly grip his much tighter. He knew exactly what terrifying thought was running through her mind. _''Tests'? Doctor Akagi was just fine with drugging Rei into a stupor every day. What's she doing to Hikari?!'_

"We'll... we've got a Synch Test on Thursday, Touji. She'll have to be there then. Doctor Akagi, I mean. We'll... find out what we can. We can talk to Misato-san tonight, too, and see if she can find out. She and Doctor Akagi are friends... I think." Shinji looked at Asuka again, no longer so sure of that. Misato knew everything they did, and hadn't seemed any happier about any of it than they were. On the contrary, she'd looked pretty betrayed at learning what her old friend had been doing to Rei.

"Thanks. I didn't know who else to ask." Touji stood up, dusting his tracksuit's pants off. "Watching you two eat is making me hungry. I'm gonna go get somethin' from the cafeteria. Be back soon." He headed to the stairs at the other end of the roof.

Asuka let a shiver run over her once he was out of sight. "Jesus, Shinji... what is that bitch doing to Hikari? She has no problem pumping Rei full of poison. Why is she keeping Hikari under wraps like this? She was just fine when we saw her right after the battle!"

Shinji shook his head sadly. "We need to get Misato-san to find out, and fast. Rei didn't look that good this morning, even with the medication Kaji-san brought back."

Asuka grit her jaw and nodded. Kaji had returned from his late night medical search with a small bag of medication and scribbled treatment regimen from some doctor he'd scared up, and they'd tried out the Narcan-derivative on Rei with apparent good effect. But their friend had still been shaky and nauseous all evening, and the next morning too. Misato's rescue after just a short time in class had been well needed, though neither Shinji or Asuka had felt very relieved watching Rei leave.

Shinji laughed sadly, prompting Asuka to give him a curious look. "Just kind of funny, Asuka. Two weeks ago, if you'd asked me what the day after we went public as a couple was going to be like, I'd have been sure we'd have been totally tied up with that, our friends all over us. But now Rei's out sick, Hikari's under quarantine, Touji's moping like I used to, and Kensuke... I can't even believe that one." He shook his head.

Asuka shook her head too. "I _really_ can't believe that one. He can't have lunch with us because he's busy with a lunch date with two girls at once?!" She looked down at the school's athletic field below, where there were a few lunch tables under a cluster of trees at one side. They could just make out the blonde hair of the spectacled boy at one table, with a girl on either side of him. Both girls were leaning in close to him. The faint sounds of girlish laughter lilted up as far as the school roof.

"Nope, I still can't believe it." Asuka sank back down. "Still, it's not all crazy. I expected Tanaka and the other Harpies to give me those dirty looks as we came in. I savored those."

Shinji grimaced. He and Asuka had come to school in the morning proudly hand-in-hand. Asuka's grin had only widened when she spotted Tanaka and a few hangers-on still glaring at her. Shinji, however, had felt a little ashamed over his outburst the day before. "Maybe I should apologi-"

"No way. We talked about this already this morning. Tanaka deserved every bit of...don't look at me like that, Shinji. I..."

His cobalt-blue eyes were relentless.

She crumbled. "Fine! You might have been a little harsh, and I sounded kind of more arrogant than I meant to. When I said she wasn't good enough, that was because..." Asuka looked away. "Because sometimes even I don't feel like I'm good enough to deserve you. You stupid, brave, caring, too-gentlemanly-for-your-own-good baka." She looked back at him, her glare returning. "And if you go apologizing for the perfectly accurate statement that you'd just watch me rip her face off, they're just going to be convinced you're a freaking gentleman and keep lusting after you. Trust me."

"I just... think we sounded a bit more 'We're Eva Pilots, we're better than you' than we meant to, yesterday. I wanted everyone to be happy for us."

Asuka shook her head again. "Too many of them want you, or me, for everyone to be happy we're together. And we _are_ one-in-a-billion special people, Shinji. The defense of the world relies on us. It's hard not to feel proud about that. Just... be careful about making them think you're in any way still 'on the market', or they'll never quit."

"No chance of that," Shinji smiled, squeezing her hand. "Like there's anyone in the world who could be as perfect for me as you."

"Not even Rei? Pretty, exotic haired Eva Pilot who you know likes you?" Asuka teased. Her teasing smile faded. "Said she loves you, even. Loves _us_."

Shinji could hear the undercurrent of 'not quite joking' even before Asuka's smile faded. "Y-yeah... um... I... don't know what to tell her. I mean... w-we love her too, j-just..."

"Not quite the way she... appeared to mean it," Asuka finished. "Yeah, I... we... I don't think we could handle... it being the three of us. E-even if we think about it, sometimes..."

Shinji's eyes widened a bit as her heard her mutter "Stupid sexy Rei..." Asuka cleared her throat. "B-but... Rei's still someone we both l-love." Asuka stared down at their joined hands. "There's you, and her, Shinji. Since Mama, no one else got into my heart. Not even Kaji, though I once thought he was who I wanted to. Just you two. People I love and would do anything for. So I mean it when I say you need to be ready to keep me from tearing that witch doctor's head off when we see her."

Shinji was quiet for a second. "You're just like me," he eventually said.

Asuka snorted. "You think I'm going to complain that my dearest baka _also_ wants to punch the lights out of the quack who's been drugging our friend? You're still usually better at restraining yourself than I am."

Shinji shook his head. "Not when it comes to you or Rei. Anyone or anything that threatens either of you... I might be even angrier than you. I hope my father isn't there on Thursday. I'm not sure how I'm going to react the next time I see his face, not after knowing about my mother..."

Asuka took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yeah... I... I hope we get to sit in our own Evas soon. I want to talk to Mama so bad..." She grimaced. "And we still haven't been able to ask Rei about her mom, or tell her that she might be in Unit-00's Core."

"I think we have to wait until she's clear of the drugs again. She was still kind of... not tracking too well and just saying strange stuff this morning," Shinji said. "I want to tell her as soon as we can, but... we might have to wait until after the Synch Test."

Asuka looked unhappy, but nodded. "Yeah, that's... something we want her able to handle. Throwing that at her right before a Synch Test if she's still wobbly might just... blow her act or something. If Commander Asshole and Doctor Bitch figure out Rei is free of their drugs... it probably wouldn't be good. And I don't want to risk her like that. The idea of them... turning someone I love into... a robot, a doll..." Asuka shivered again, harder.

Shinji used their handclasp to pull her into a full embrace. She hugged him back, hard. "I won't let that happen. You both are too important to me. I... couldn't stand to see either of you hurt at all, much less... that."

"Likewise," Asuka promised with a squeeze. "Gott, I hope Rei is better when we get home. I want to talk to my friend, not worry she's going to be alright."

.

XXX

.

"Are you feeling any better, Rei?"

A jittery nod was all Major Katsuragi got in reply, followed by more retching noises as Rei kept dry heaving into the sink. Eventually she straightened up and wipe at her mouth with a washcloth. "D-despite appearances, M-m-major Katsur-r-ragi, f-f-feel b-b-better than yesterd-d-day." Rei resumed her erratic pacing around the kitchen. "C-c-can't sit still!" she complained. She wiped at the cold sweat that had reappeared on her brow.

Misato nodded. The counter-drugs Rei had had stockpiled, plus the ones Kaji had scared up, had taken a big bite out of the overdose washing through Rei's body. But the come-down was still brutal. Rei had spent much of the day since Misato had retrieved her from school either vomiting profusely or jittering around the apartment, overwhelmed by nervous energy and reactions.

Rei turned greenish again, but just gulped a few times, sweating heavily. Misato pressed her lips together. "How long has Ritsuko had you taking these drugs, Rei?"

Rei shook her head. "I c-c-cannot remember when it started. M-m-memory fuzzy. Before y-y-you or Sh-sh-shinji or As-s-suka arrived. More than a y-y-year at l-l-least? The d-days bef-f-fore you and they c-c-came were... all the s-s-same. I d-d-didn't care or dif-f-ferentiate b-b-back then. I just... existed."

Misato ground her teeth. More than a year? Probably longer? From what paltry records there even were on Rei, she'd been under Ritsuko's 'care' and Commander Ikari's guardianship in Tokyo-3 for as long as Misato could tell. At least a couple of years. Years of being drugged to near stupor every day, so numbed she didn't even bother to mark the passage of time? Misato suppressed a shiver. She and Ritsuko were going to have a _talk_ about this, soon. "Rei... did she ever say _why_ she was doing this? This," Misato waved the list Asuka had written out, "is the kind of thing you dose major psychotics and violent maniacs with. Not Evangelion Pilots. And... Jesus. Dissociatives, emotional suppressants, the rest... I can't even imagine _why_ she'd have you taking most of this stuff!"

"Sh-she said C-c-commander Ikari had ord-d-dered it," Rei added, her usual pallor slowly returning.

Misato felt her stomach roil with acid. _'Just what the fuck is Commander Ikari doing that requires one of our Pilots to be tranq'd to the gills constantly? Rei's no lunatic, despite the drugged babble. __**Why**__ would he order this? And why would Rits go along with it? I know if Commander Ikari said 'You're a frog', she would practically hop and go 'ribbit', but... nnng.'_ Misato tried to imagine _any_ legitimate excuse for dosing Rei like this, but memories of Ritsuko callously dismissing Asuka's survival as a priority during that nighttime confrontation in the battle with Leliel kept intruding. Could her old friend have truly joined Commander Ikari in whatever his obsessive plan was? Could... no, she regretfully shook her head. She already knew she couldn't really trust her old roommate anymore. The question now was just how far down had Ritsuko sunk, and what was she up to down in Terminal Dogma? Whatever she and Kaji were digging into just got more twisted and dark the deeper they went.

"Hurts... head f-f-feels l-like it's f-full of... angry b-bees..." Rei said plaintively. "Everything _hurts_... It w-w-wasn't this h-hard the f-f-first time!" She wandered into the living room and collapsed on the couch.

"The last time... Rei... you did this before, with Shinji and Asuka's help, right?" Misato asked, following her into the room. She sat down on the floor, watching Rei worriedly.

Rei nodded weakly, pressing her hand to her eyes. "T-two months ag-go."

"Why didn't... why didn't you _or_ they say anything then?"

"D-d-didn't even occur t-t-to me to. Entire c-c-concept of... not obeying C-c-commander Ikari was... difficult. N-not sure who t-t-to trust. I t-t-trust them. I... they c-c-care about me. N-n-no one else ever has," Rei replied.

_'Can't say I trust NERV much myself these days,'_ Misato admitted to herself. "That's still a... dangerous thing to do without a doctor, Rei."

"I d-d-don't _trust_ Doctor Ak-k-kagi," Rei said with a faint bit of heat. "Only doctor I kn-know."

Misato frowned. "Keeping something like that secret is not good, Rei. You... mmm. I wish you'd come to me, at least. And two months ago... this is right after Shinji and Asuka... started sleeping together, from what they said?" Misato looked at the First Child carefully, seeking confirmation. Rei nodded.

"So you knew? Why didn't _that_ ever come up? Did they ask you not to tell me?"

Rei nodded again. "They were w-w-worried you'd... stop them. S-s-separate them. They f-f-feared that, more than... even A-a-angels. They n-need each other. And I k-k-keep my friend's secrets. Isn't that wh-wh-what you do for those y-y-you love?"

Misato's eye widened a bit. "You... love them?"

Rei's pale cheeks now sported a light blush. "Y-yes. Both of th-them, ind-dividually and as a p-p-pair. They... c-care for me. And they are both... their bond is so beautiful. Like a bridge m-m-made of fire and light..." Despite her jittery stutter, Rei's voice was soft and warm. She turned her head to look at Misato directly. "I t-told them, after this last b-battle. I told them and they d-did not reject me. I f-f-fight to protect them. For my b-bond to humanit-t-ty, and them. They... are a m-much better reason than... bef-fore."

Misato hmmed. "Rei, that's... very sweet of you. That's why you didn't tell me, hm? To protect them from..." Misato grimaced. "From my trying to separate them? Rei, it's wonderful that you all get along so well, but you and these drugs, and Shinji and Asuka sleeping together are important things I need to know about as your commanding officer. This kind of thing can seriously affect our fight."

Rei shrugged jerkily. "I... no one has ever c-c-cared for me the w-way they do. And I f-for them. They asked me t-t-to help protect their b-bond." She looked at Misato a little harder. "W-we all keep secrets f-f-for those we l-l-love. You k-k-keep secrets for Kaji-san because of your l-love, d-d-do you not?

Misato blanched and almost looked around nervously by reflex. "W-we haven't-! I mean... um... damn it, Rei! He and I are... that's private. We're... it's complicated, alright?"

"B-but you would k-keep his secrets and protect him f-for the sake of y-your bond, c-c-correct?"

Misato pursed her lips, but nodded, acknowledging the point. "Yes, I would. But he and I are... Rei, you... gah. Couples are a different thing than I think what you're talking about. Love is... complicated."

"I kn-kn-know. I want to know m-more," Rei jittered. "I wish for a bond l-l-like theirs. I know there is n-n-no room for me in their b-bond, though I would be happy to be part of it. But because I have discovered that I can love them, and they love m-me in ret-t-turn, I hope that one d-day I can find one who w-w-will love me the s-same way. Like you have with K-k-kaji-san."

"We... haven't quite... figured that out yet, Rei," Misato temporized.

Rei shook her head weakly. "N-no. I can s-see it already. It is there. N-n-not as s-strong yet as Shinji and Asuka, but there. It grows. Shiny."

_'Overdose is making Rei think she's Doctor Love, now?'_ Misato snorted. She stood up and checked the clock. 1520, Shinji and Asuka should be home momentarily. She stepped back into the kitchen long enough to grab a beer for herself and a glass of water for Rei. _'I'm so glad I'm caught up enough on paperwork to be able to call in today. Rei really needed the time out of school and caretaking. Plus that means I don't have to wait until dinnertime for a beer break.'_

Rei nodded thanks as she took the glass. Misato settled herself back down onto the floor near Rei. She opened the can of Yebisu and took a sip while she considered the next question she wanted to ask. "Rei... Shinji and Asuka have... ah... come to a conclusion about their Evas that... I think I agree with. It's... quite likely that it affects you too. They wanted to ask you themselves, but..." Misato paused and bit her lip. "Rei, do you remember your past?" _'Your mother?'_

Rei blinked at her. "No. As I s-said, everything p-past a fairly short while back is fuzzy. My p-p-past is... a cycle of d-d-dull repeats of the s-s-same events until the arrival of the Angels. I knew only the C-c-commander and Doctor Ak-k-kagi, and NERV. Why?"

"Do you know where you're from?"

"Tokyo-3."

Misato sighed. _'That helps not at all to find out about your mother or family, Rei. But Shinji and Asuka asked to be the ones to tell you. But given that you're the only one in your class with no family I can find, I wonder if you've got anyone left.'_

"Rei! Misato! We're home!" Asuka called from the door. Rapid footsteps heralded her and Shinji almost running in to see them. "Are you feeling alright? Are you ok?" Asuka asked as they piled in around the couch.

Rei's face lit up in a tired, shaky smile as she sat up and raised her arms to her friends. Misato couldn't stop a smile as she watched the two newly arrived Children almost crush Rei into a worried dual-hug. Rei hugged them back for a long moment before she released them. "I'm alr-r-right," she said, shaking slightly less than she had over the last few hours. "I am b-better now that you both are home."

"Can I make you anything, Rei? I mean... can you eat? Are you still throwing up?" Shinji asked, his hand still on her shoulder. "You should try to keep something down, anyway."

"S-some rice balls, maybe?" Rei asked.

Shinji nodded, then exchanged a quick look with Asuka. She just nodded back, her hand still on Rei's other shoulder. Without another word, Shinji bent down to scoop up Asuka's schoolbag and his own. He headed to the kitchen, and a moment later Misato could hear the rattle of cupboards and the stove.

"It's ok, Rei, you'll be fine. Shinji and I are going to be right with you all night. We're all sleeping together just like last night," Asuka quietly promised.

"Y-you don't have t-to," Rei protested very half-heartedly. "I kn-know your nights together are imp-portant to you and Shinji. You don't have to-"

"It's _fine_, Rei. We care about you too, and," Asuka shot a glance at Misato, "Shinji and I are... showing Misato we have restraint. It's days only together, until Misato... comes to a decision on if we're allowed to carry on."

Rei looked slightly puzzled amidst her jittering. "Misato-san, w-why do you restrict them s-so? They are f-far s-stronger together, and happier. How d-d-does separating them help?"

Misato tried to conceal her grimace. "It's... complicated, Rei. They're very young for that kind of relationship, and teenagers, sex, and high-stress combat positions are an explosive combo. I asked them to cool it while I considered things."

"'Asked'," Asuka muttered under her breath. She returned Misato's mild glare with one of her own. "We've been good, Misato. But this doesn't _reduce_ our stress any. I need him and he needs me. And you've got to know how much I mean that if I can admit it out loud." Her expression lightened up. "Hey, so, now that you've talked to Kaji and 'considered it'... you come to any conclusions?"

"You're going to regret pushing for an answer so fast if it's 'No', Asuka," Misato raised her eyebrow.

"Rei said it, short version. He and I are happier, stronger, and less stressed when we can say goodnight and still hold each other," Asuka countered. "You're not stupid, Misato. You've seen us. You know it's not just us wanting to wear divots in my mattress. It's everything else."

Misato just gave her a flat stare.

Asuka ducked her head. "Ok, we really like that part too. Shinji's got amazing hands and... shutting up now. But you know what I mean. It's about having someone to hold, not just screw."

"You focus on taking care of Rei tonight, Asuka. Probably tomorrow night too. I'll let you know my decision when I make it. For now, supporting Rei is our focus, alright?"

Asuka looked unhappy, but nodded. She hugged Rei again. "Fine. Rei's important to me too." She gave Rei a hopeful look. "You going to be in shape for the Synch Test on Thursday, Rei? You're still literally shaky right now."

Rei managed a nod. "Y-yes. A f-f-few hours of s-soaking in LCL will provide benefits. It b-b-buffers my system against drug withdrawal effects. And synchronizing with my Eva will... help."

"Unit-00 will be ready for you, Rei," Misato nodded. "First one repaired all the way. It's going to be you and Shinji and Asuka in Unit-03 for at least another week."

"That long before Shinji and I can... sit in our own Evas?" Asuka almost wailed. "But... can't we... Is there _any_ way we can do it sooner, Misato?"

The major shook her head sadly. She knew what Asuka was really asking. "I'm sorry, Asuka. They're both too smashed up. They're repairing them as fast as possible, but it's still going to be another week for both. I'm sorry."

"Damn it," Asuka growled. "And we're going to have to face at least Doctor Bitchface on Thursday, and possibly Commander Asshole. I really hope _something_ good happens this week. It's been kind of shit so far."

"Watch your mouth, Asuka. I can appreciate your feelings about Rits, but you need to be able to hold it in _when_ we have to see her. The last thing we need right now is for her to wonder what's got you so upset with her."

"She tried to turn Rei into a _doll_, Misato! My friend! Someone I-... Just... keep her as far from me as you can. Otherwise I might do something violent to that witch."

"Me too, Misato-san."

Misato blinked in surprise at the quiet, level statement from behind her. She turned to meet Shinji's dead even stare from the kitchen. "My father may have ordered it, but Doctor Akagi did it to her. And Rei means almost as much to me as Asuka. I won't let her hurt Rei again."

"Both of you need to stay cool around her, no matter what you feel. You could risk Rei being hurt even worse if you don't," Misato warned them. "If you care about Rei, you will _keep your cool_."

Asuka and Shinji shared a look for a second, then looked at Rei. "Then we'll do it. Rei's put everything on the line for us. We can do no less for her. She's one of us," Asuka said with determination. "We can smash Angels with no problem. We can handle mere human monsters too."

.

XXX

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static. minitokyo downloads / 44 / 07 / 260394. jpg

_'You'd think it would be a little cooler down here, since we're not actually in the 'outdoors',' _Misato grumbled to herself. _'But no, it's still at least as stupid hot down here as it is on the surface. Hooray for our high-efficiency mirror system.'_

She wiped at the sweat on her forehead and turned to look back over her shoulder. "I left something in the cabin the last time I was down here. You three get started on the weeding and I'll be right back. We can do our picking then."

Shinji nodded quietly, but Asuka, right next to him, just looked at the neatly tended melon patch with a mild frown. Rei, standing right beside them stared at the leafy vines and green melons far more dully, but with better color and motion than she'd shown for the last two days. Her russet gingham sundress flapped listlessly around her in the Geofront's meager breezes.

Misato made sure to close the door securely before she dropped to her knees and felt around under the cot's frame. "Where is it? It's got to be... ah HAH!"

Her searching fingers found the lace-trimmed silk panty in the shadows under the bed, and she quickly stuffed it into the pocket of her white-striped blue shorts. "It would have been a little embarrassing for Kaji to have had to retrieve these for me... Eh, I guess not as much as it might have been a month ago, though!" She smiled to herself as she let a few minutes pass before she headed back out. _'Don't want to make it too obvious what I was missing...'_

The Children were all heads-down in the rows of watermelons, making fast work of the weeding and clearing. Misato quirked her lips to note Shinji and Asuka moving in unconscious synch, side-by-side in two rows. Rei was staying close to them, but moving independently, if slowly.

With three helpers, it didn't take long for them to finish the patch, broad as it was. Misato stood up to pop her back and wiped at the sweat she'd still managed to work up. The Geofront was summer-warm as always. Despite it being November, she'd broken out shorts, a spaghetti-strap top, and a straw hat for this trip once she'd seen the sundress Asuka had dressed Rei in, and the sport top and pleated blue short skirt Asuka had picked for herself.

She was a fair bit tired, too, though that was from lack of sleep. _'Kaji, I love having you back and I love having you in my bed again, but damn, sleep is not just a good idea. Ok, ok, it's not like he was the only one eager last night. Man, if he's going to keep playing with my 'melons' so much, I'll make him wear some.'_ She grinned tiredly at the mental image of Kaji with a couple of the big green melons down his own top. It hadn't even been a marathon; just talking softly with a lot of holding for half the night. She'd loved it anyway.

"Green..." Rei's soft voice said behind her.

"Eh?" Misato turned. "What was that, Rei?"

The First Child slowly raised her head from where she'd been intently staring at the large watermelon in her hands. "This melon... is very green. Green."

"Still feeling kind of out-of-it, eh? You're better, though," Misato noted.

"She's still kind of messed up, Misato." Asuka stood up with a particularly tasty-looking melon in her hands. "Last night she woke me up with her kind of flailing a bit and complaining about getting stabbed in the chest." She took the melon she'd selected off to the side and began cutting it into neat slices.

Placing a trio of succulent slices on a small tray, she turned to her boyfriend. "Hey, Shinji, don't these look delicious?" She hefted one and took a couple of juicy bites. "Mmmm! Cool and sweet."

Shinji looked up from the far end of his row and wiped his own sweaty brow. "Yeah, they do, Asuka. Can I have one?"

"No!" the redhead shot back, a cocky grin on her face.

Shinji blinked, dismayed. "Asuka?"

"Not unless you can catch me, baka!" She took off running, pausing repeatedly to spin around for a look back, her skirt ruffles flaring as she spun. "Chase me, baka-Shinji!"

Shinji's downcast look shifted instantly back into a sunny smile, and he took off after her. Asuka shot around behind the small cabin.

"Eeek! Misato! Shinji wants to grab my sweet melons!" Asuka laughed as she looped around and ran back past her.

Misato gave her a droll look. "Asuka, is this supposed to make you look mature enough for sleeping together?"

"Hey, I scrapped the joke about 'oh, he wants my sweet juices all over his face!'," Asuka shot back, still grinning. "Nice panties hanging out of your pocket, by the way. Purple lace suits you."

Misato slapped a hand at her hip, her fingers finding that yes indeed, her moving around the melon patch had let the recovered underwear stick out enough to be spotted. She quickly stuffed it back into her pocket. "That's... Oh just knock it off, Asuka."

"I've got to have my fun _somewhere_, Misato. Just like you apparently did," Asuka fired back cheerfully. She began squealing happily as Shinji caught her up in his arms and spun her around. "Oh noes! I am captured!"

"Now _I _seize the melons!" Shinji proclaimed. He grabbed a slice off the tray Asuka still had clutched to her chest. "Victory!"

Misato shook her head. They were both smiling and laughing. The difference between the delighted couple she was watching and the angry, withdrawn, and tense pair she'd put through the synchronization training to beat Israfel was like night and day. _'Damn it, they really do look happy. And I can't even tell them to 'just wait', not when I have to sortie them every time an Angel appears. But what happens if one of them takes a hit? God... they're so tight I __**know**__ losing one would destroy the other. God knows I'd be a mess if I lost Kaji somehow. But there's no safety keeping them apart, since they still have to go into battle anyhow, and gaaaahh...' _She rubbed her forehead. _'Why couldn't you two just be older, then I wouldn't have to worry about you being 'too young for this'?'_

Asuka had gotten a piece of watermelon between her teeth, and used it to lure Shinji in for a kiss they both grinned through. Misato looked at Rei. The bluenette was watching her friends kiss and embrace with a still blank expression, but a fixed look. Misato felt herself start to smile in response when she saw Rei's lips finally begin to curl in a faint smile of her own at the sight. "You think I should let them sleep together, don't you, Rei?"

Rei turned her head slowly to meet her eyes. "Yes. It makes them happy. I want them to be happy. They..." Rei fumbled for how to put it. "They love each other. I love them. Therefore, I wish to protect their love. It is important to me that they can be happy." She looked like she wanted to say more, but could not find the words.

Misato sighed, looking back to the happy pair. "Yeah, I wish it was that simple, Rei. I'll come up with something. In the mean time, they're still sleeping next to you, and I'm happy to see it's having a good effect on your recovery."

Rei nodded, a little more animatedly. "Yes. Their presence... is comforting."

"You going to be in shape for that Synch Test tomorrow?"

Rei hesitated. "I... believe so. I must. Doctor Akagi and the Commander will... become curious if I am not. We cannot allow this. Discovery of their role in my rejection of the drugs would... imperil my friends. That is unacceptable."

Misato rolled a couple more watermelons into a sack to carry back to the apartment for later. "I hope you're right about being ready, Rei. If you think you're not, you need to tell me before the test starts, so I can try something to keep Rits from noticing."

"I will be ready, Major Katsuragi." Rei looked more focused and determined than she had all week. "I must. Therefore, I will."

Misato hoisted the sack over her shoulder. "Good girl." She looked back at the other two Pilots, who were still giggling and trading watermelon pieces back and forth, sometimes with their hands. "Break it up, you two, it's time to head back home."

Asuka reluctantly broke off feeding Shinji the last of her most recent melon bit. "Aww, but I was winning!"

"So was I," Shinji added.

Misato rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, you two are cute. Now grab the other bags and let's get going. I want a watermelon daiquiri and air conditioning, pronto."

.

XXX

.

Misato flicked her eyes towards the rear-view mirror again, eyeing the three Children squeezed into the backseat of her Renault. Rei was tightly squished in the middle between Shinji on her left and Asuka on her right, but all three Pilots had firmly rejected the idea of one of them moving to the passenger seat up front. "You sure you're up for this, Rei?"

Rei nodded. "I can maintain my composure for the length of the test, provided I am not left alone with Doctor Akagi. And I can conceal the remaining shakes until we are in the Entry Plugs. Once there, the LCL should help settle me further."

Asuka squeezed Rei's hand. "Don't worry. Shinji and I won't let that bitch get you alone as long as we can help it." On Rei's other side, Shinji nodded and squeezed Rei's other hand.

Misato just nodded as well, turning her eyes back to the road. _'Rits and I are going to have a little talk of our own, if I can figure out a way to ask without #1 wanting to punch her and #2 giving away that we've have figured out where the Pilots' mothers ended up...'_

She shifted into 4th gear and sped up. The tunnel down to the Geofront access train swallowed them up.

.

XXX

.

"Unit-00's head has been reconnected, and all the standby system tests are green, but this is the first live start since it was repaired, so we need you to work it through a long list of checks, Rei. This also means we need you to do a direct insertion, not just a regular remote-link Synch Test." Ritsuko tried to ignore the dull throb of her skull against the bandage. It was pulsing in counterpoint to the one on her arm, like a two-tone car-alarm going off in her ear. The headache wasn't helped by the weird looks she was getting.

Misato's partly-hidden glare she could understand, given their last conversation. Ritsuko again made a mental note to catch Misato after the test and apologize. But the cold, too-much-like-his-father hostile look from Shinji was just confusing. The borderline-murderous look from Asuka was even stranger. The blank, dull look from the First Child was almost comforting in comparison. It was at least familiar, anyhow.

She shook her head, gently so as not to make the throbbing worse, and waited for Rei's response. The bluenette just nodded silently. Ritsuko turned to the other Children. "Asuka, Shinji, that goes for you both as well. Unit-01 and -02 are still undergoing repairs, so per the Commander's orders you'll be testing in Unit-03 today. We need you both to be directly inserted in the Evangelion to get the maximum synchronization with the Unit. We'll try you individually after we do a dual-test, to see if either of you can reach the activation threshold by yourselves."

"How soon can we get back in our own Evangelions?" Asuka suddenly asked. "I want my Unit-02 back. Unit-03 just feels weird." Her voice and expression tried for irritation, but Ritsuko heard a strangely intense note in it.

"It's going to be at least another week before they're repaired enough for a test, Asuka," Ritsuko said, shaking her head. "We're still re-attaching Unit-02's limbs, and Unit-01 has more damaged than intact parts right now. If you two tried synching with them, I'd be amazed if you were able to stand the pain. For now, you both remain assigned to Unit-03."

Asuka pressed her lips together hard, but subsided. Her extremely hostile glare soon resumed, however.

Ritsuko tried to ignore it. _'What the Hell did I do to piss her off so much? Is she __**that**__ attached to her Evangelion?' _She looked at Rei again. _'I'm already having a shitty week, my head is killing me, Gendo won't __**listen**__ to me about the Dummy Plugs, and right now the only person in this room that isn't looking at me like I just ran over their dog is the stupid doll!'_

Rei looked back at her and blinked slowly.

"Is that all?"

Ritsuko jerked at Misato's question, snapped out of her darkening line of thought. "Eh? Um... yes, that's all. You three can get to your Entry Plugs. We'll begin as soon as you're in place."

Misato just held a level look at her for a moment before nodding and turning away. Rei followed right in her trail. Shinji and Asuka both glared at her for a moment longer before sharing a look and turning away in unison and following Misato.

Ritsuko sighed. _'God damn it, isn't there anyone here who isn't either going to stare daggers at me or stare blankly? I am a brilliant scientist, a vital figure in NERV! Commander Ikari relies on me to make __**everything**__ work! I am not the bad guy!'_ Suddenly she deeply missed the times she and Misato would go out for drinks and man-watching. Even Kaji had been a welcome presence when he joined in of late. Much of the amusement she got out of it was from watching him and Misato pretend they weren't still totally into each other, but still... Commander Ikari was... It was hard to even keep his attention these days, much less any signs of affection or care. Her oldest friend was mad at her and hadn't spoken to her in days. Kaji was practically in Misato's back pocket lately. She still had friends... right? Wasn't _anyone_ here glad to see her anymore?

"We're all ready in the Pribnow Box, Akagi-sempai!" Maya's cheerful voice over the PA made her jump again, but she smiled once the words registered.

_'At least one person still looks forward to seeing me around and wants to spend time with me. Now if only she wasn't... convinced I'm someone... better than I am.'_ Ritsuko chewed her lip and reached into her pocket for another cigarette as she walked out the other door of the briefing room towards the Pribnow Box. _'I'm... I'm not a bad person. But I'm not as good as May-... as Lieutenant Ibuki thinks I am.'_ She'd been trying to make herself think of her protégé more professionally, avoiding her first name even though she had been calling her by that for months. It helped keep thoughts at bay that were... uncomfortable.

_'She smiles every time she sees you. She wants you around her. She goes out of her way to spend time with you. She __**likes**__ you,'_ the part of her that was increasingly lonely said.

"No, she likes the idealized 'sempai' she's got in her head. She doesn't know the stupid woman who treats her friends like crap because she's getting the cold shoulder from the man who's using her as a stupid blow-up doll stand-in for his dead wife! The one who's still _losing_ to a dead woman and a _doll_! Even Shinji and Asuka look like they hate me now. Shit, if they knew about their mothers..."

_'You were so sure you weren't the bad guy a minute ago. Now you're worried what Maya would think if she knew what you've done. And yet, you still want her to smile... And you try not to think about her.'_

"Gendo's what I want. Powerful, dominating, relentless... besides, I'm not into girls."

_'That time with Misato in college says otherwise. You've never admitted even to her how much you enjoyed it. And Gendo? You might as well be a fleshlight with a PhD for all the care he shows. __**He said 'Yui' last time! **__Has he __**ever**__ smiled at you like Maya does all the time? Like he's happy just to see you?'_

"This is stupid. Lieutenant Ibuki is a foolish girl with a crush. I'm not so stupid. Misato is stupid. Everyone is stupid. You've got work to do, Ritsuko. Focus on the work. The Commander knows how much he needs you. He'll see I'm right about the Dummy Plugs and everything else." She took a deep drag on the cigarette and walked faster.

Unit-00's test was set to begin during Unit-03's first dual-synch. They had a lot of work to do today. She didn't have time to waste on feeling sorry for herself. "Stupid..." she muttered, shutting those thoughts out.

.

XXX

.

"Ready?" Asuka said as quietly as she could into Shinji's ear.

He shifted slightly in the Entry Plug's seat. "Um? Uh, yes! Right!"

Asuka had loudly protested when they'd been instructed to let him have the actual seat, and Asuka to sit in his lap for the test, but she'd flashed him a wink when their faces were close together, and surreptitiously stroked his back out of sight of the cameras. He didn't mind her weight at all. It was hardly the first time she'd sat in his lap for lengthy periods of time. In fact, memories of such times were just the problem: He was having increasing difficulty keeping his mind on the test with Asuka's sleek, athletic, plugsuited form sitting right on top of his er... attention. They'd managed a passable 35% Synch Rate when they'd reached the start of the test, and Doctor Akagi had told them to hold that as long as they could while the crew tuned the Core for maximum sensitivity to their dual brainwaves. But Shinji was sure he was far from as focused as he could be. Asuka was_ gloriously_ distracting to have wiggling in his lap.

So her question was very welcome to bring him back to their true mission here. He linked his hand on the control yoke with hers and closed his eyes. They both focused inward, reaching for that faint presence that was much easier to sense now that they both knew to look for it. They reached for it, and tried, tried...

_'Mrs. Horaki? Are you there? Hikari said she felt you, talked to you. Can you hear us? Are you her mother?'_

_~Confusion. Surprise. Questioning. Worried acknowledgement, confirmation. Hikari? Hikari? Hikari?~_

They both stiffened in shock. _It was working_. That was very definitely _not _either one of them. They were communicating with someone else. Shinji felt his pulse start to race. _'If Mrs. Horaki is really here, then... Mother!'_ He squeezed his other hand on the left control yoke so hard he could feel the stick shake. He could feel Asuka almost rigid with tension in his lap, as wired as he was.

"Shinji, Asuka, your pulses just shot up and your psychographs are showing a sudden spike of noise. What's going on in there?" Doctor Akagi's voice broke in on their concentration. Shinji's eyes snapped open.

"Just trying to push my Synch Rate up and dragging this baka along," Asuka said, arrogance filling her tone. Shinji was almost convinced himself. "I may be crushing his hand a little. He'll live. How much longer do we have to do this? I'm tired of being cooped up with him!"

"We should be done with the dual synch data in another 30 minutes, Asuka. Remain patient," the scientist replied calmly.

Asuka just nodded and closed her eyes again. He felt her mental nudge in the link to the Eva and closed his own. They pushed inward again.

_'We're Hikari's friends! She's ok! She's got a boyfriend, even! We'll tell her you're here!'_

_~Wariness. Fear. Confusion. Cautious acceptance.~_

Asuka shot him a quick look out of the corner of her eye and nodded. They couldn't hope for much more, and even this much confirmed their suspicions. A Synch Test in their own Evangelions couldn't come soon enough.

Asuka reluctantly removed her hand from Shinji's. She crossed her arms across her chest and did a fairly good rendition of one of her old pouts. "Well, hurry it up! I want to get to my solo test, so I can show this baka and Wondergirl who's the best again!"

"Rei is... not matching her best Synch, Asuka. Unit-00's still not fully up to speed, it looks like," Misato commented. "She's... wait, what's going on? Rei? Rei?! Sto-" Misato's voice cut off just as the alarms began to sound.

An enormous tremor ran through the test chamber. From the next test bay over, the howl of an Evangelion roaring through its mouth restraints suddenly filled the silence.

.

XXX

.

Ritsuko stopped her hand from reaching into her lab coat's pocket for her pack of cigarettes _again_. It was the fifth time in half as many minutes she'd had to consciously stop her twitching fingers from grabbing for the smokes.

_'Damn it, Ritsuko, stop this. You're a scientist and a grown woman. You do not need to have a smoke right now because you're __**scared**__,'_ she tried to tell herself.

The self-castigation did less to help than she'd have liked. She shot another look out the thick crystal windows at the mammoth form of Evangelion Unit-00. The blue prototype was locked to the far wall of the test chamber by a solid array of restraints bolted to its arms and torso.

_'Restraints it ripped its way right out of when it berserked and came after me__** twice**__!' _Her fears argued. _'It could happen again! We shouldn't be here! It can get us! It can __**see**__ us!'_

The Eva's head was fixed straight ahead, tilted down slightly. _'Stop it. It's not even activated yet. It's not staring at me. It's not.'_

She turned to Ma-... Lieutenant Ibuki. "Commence activation," she ordered. "Connect main power to all circuits."

"Main power supply connecting... complete. Commencing activation system." Lieutenant Ibuki responded. "Activation voltage is approaching the critical level. 0.5 0.2 Rising."

Ritsuko's hand made it into her pocket anyway and clutched at the pack of cigarettes like a talisman in the hopes it could stop her hand from shaking. "Begin the second phase of the activation system."

"Pilot has begun link-up," one of the senior techs reported.

"Entry has started. LCL electrolyzed." Lieutenant Ibuki recited. "Initiating first connection. Data received. Reconfirming. Pattern green."

"All restraints are normal," the junior tech she'd specifically set to monitor the restraint system said.

She steeled herself. "Start system Phase 2." Her throat was dry.

"Synapses inserted. Junctions connected," the senior tech said.

"Transmitting pulse," Lieutenant Ibuki said. "No problems with initial contact. Harmonics are all normal. Checklist satisfactory up to 2550."

"Power supplied to brachial muscles in both arms," the restraint tech said. "All nerve links checking out normal."

"Initiating 3rd connection. Self-psychograph is stable," Lieutenant Ibuki reported.

"Initiate A-10 Nerve connection," Ritsuko said, swallowing.

"Clear up to 2580." Lieutenant Ibuki said calmly. "Counting down to the absolute borderline. 0.9, 0.7, 0.5, 0.4, 0.3... absolute borderline passed. Unit-00 has activated successfully."

Unit-00 raised its head. Its single optic sensor twitched, searched, halted, and focused on something in the booth in front of it.

Ritsuko kept herself from flinching by an act of will. _'It's looking right at me...'_

The massive cyclopean eye was fixed on her. She could feel it. She fought down the urge to scoot behind Misato or one of the pillars in the window so it couldn't see her.

"Harmonics level, plus twenty." Lieutenant Ibuki said. "The First Child has synchronized at...37%."

Ritsuko tore her eyes away from Unit-00's stare and looked at her protégé. "What? That's way down! She was at 58% against the Fourteenth Angel just 2 weeks ago! She's had drops before, but nothing like this."

Misato grunted from behind her. "She's been acting stiff and dull the last few days. I don't think she liked spending a week down in the bowels of NERV," her old friend said, oddly cold.

_'Did I misjudge the dosage increase? Her psychograph readings were way too active. I had to do something. But I think I'm going to have to recalibrate things if it's depressing her Synch Rate this badly. If she'd been down this much versus that Angel, she'd never have survived,'_ Ritsuko thought, chewing her lip.

She keyed the mic to the Entry Plug. "Rei, your Synch Rate is down to 37%. Concentrate. The repairs shouldn't have impacted your synchronization this much."

.

XXX

.

Rei's head was swimming. As she'd hoped, getting into the LCL and letting it cover her had made some of her headache and nausea fade, and the shaking in her hands had stopped. But then they'd activated the Evangelion, and she'd tried to synchronize...

It had been like someone smashed her head open with an axe, again. Worse: In the fight with Zeruel she'd at least been clean. But now the numbness of the overdose had changed to hypersensitivity, and trying to synch with part of her soul in the Eva was... it was like grinding the ends of a broken bone together. Her head was burning, buzzing, like it was full of angry bees trying to sting their way out. And the harder she tried to synchronize, the worse it got.

"Rei, you're Synch Rate is down to 37%. Concentrate. The repairs shouldn't have impacted your synchronization this much," Doctor Akagi's voice prodded her.

Rei grit her teeth. "Roger." _'I'm trying! This hurts! I can still feel where the Angel cut Unit-00's head off, and the me inside the Eva is so angry... she won't stop yelling...'_

Doctor Akagi wouldn't stop. "You can do better than this, Rei. Focus."

_'Don't show it. Don't show it or she'll drug you again. Then you won't be able to feel anything, won't be able to love Shinji and Asuka. You have to play the doll...'_

"Yes, Doctor Akagi. I am trying," she said as calmly and robotically as she could. She closed her eyes, pushing inward. She could feel the pain increasing as she did. She pushed on. She had to do this. Her friends needed her to be able to stand beside them in battles to come, to protect them as they protected her.

"Synch Rate increasing, Akagi-sempai. Rei is now at 39...40...42%. Synch Rate still slowly rising..." Lieutenant Ibuki narrowed her eyes. "We've got a problem occurring in the Pilot's nerve pulse. Pyschograph instability increasing."

Ritsuko felt sweat trickle down her temple. _'This... this is too much like how it started before.'_

She made herself stand still. She'd had too many nightmares already, of Unit-00 smashing its way through the glass before, reaching inside, reaching for _her_.She knew what monsters the Evas really were. She knew the _thing_ in Unit-00 was looking at her that time.

She quietly pinched at her arm, reassuring herself this wasn't one of those nightmares, the ones she woke up from shaking and bathed in sweat. The ones where Unit-00's hand found her, clamped down, and crushed her to a pul-

She swallowed. _'I hate that thing...' _She turned and walked over to the other set of consoles that were monitoring Unit-03's test. Checking on the other Children would get her mind off this, get the nightmares out of her waking mind before she had to leave entirely in the middle of a test.

The red eye of Unit-00 kept staring at her.

She tore her eyes away from the window and looked over the tech's shoulder at the readouts. The other Pilots were doing... fairly well for being in an Eva not their own. They were managing a joint synch of 58.3%.

Ritsuko blinked, her eyebrows rising as it suddenly jumped to 58.7% and the signal noise went up. The Pilot's bio-signs were going wild, too. She tapped into their comm. "Shinji, Asuka, your pulses just shot up and your psychographs are showing a sudden spike of noise. What's going on in there?"

"Just trying to push my Synch Rate up and dragging this baka along," Asuka voice said, arrogance filling her tone. "I may be crushing his hand a little. He'll live. How much longer do we have to do this? I'm tired of being cooped up with him!"

"We should be done with the dual synch data in another 30 minutes, Asuka. Remain patient," the scientist replied calmly.

"Well, hurry it up! I want to get to my solo test, so I can show this baka and Wondergirl who's the best again!"

Misato stepped over behind her, leaning in to join the conversation. "Rei is... not matching her best Synch, Asuka. Unit-00's still not fully up to speed, it looks like," Misato commented. "She's... wait, what's going on?" The Operations Commander looked out the windows at Unit-00. The Evangelion was...

The Eva was moving. Ritsuko felt her heart skip as Misato dashed back to the other consoles and grabbed the mic. "Rei? Rei?! Sto-"

Unit-00 threw back its head and _roared_.

.

XXX

.

Rei's head was splitting. She'd had to stop herself from biting her cheek until it bled. Her Synch Rate was slowly crawling upwards, but each tenth of a point gained felt like it came at a cost of grinding off a finger.

_'This hurts. Why do you do this to me? I hate feeling... nothing. I hate hurting like this. I accept the pain of existence, but this is... you are hurting me with the drugs. Even the numbness hurts now, now that I know what it feels like to know love. I hate it. I hate...'_

She pushed on. She had to do this... she could synch with the other her in the Eva. Suddenly, the pain vanished. She felt some internal barrier fall away again, just as it had when she forced herself to project an AT-Field to protect her friends. But it was stronger, sharper now.. she felt... tall... powerful... _angry._

The interior walls of the Entry Plug suddenly reflected the red glow now coming from her eyes.

_**I HATE **_

Rei jerked in her seat. What? The voice had echoed right as she'd thought it, in perfect synch...

_**I HATE... HER**_

_'No... I... do I?'_

_**HATE**_

_'I... she hurts me... she hates me...'_

_**HATE**_

_'Do I... want to harm her?'_

_**HATE**_

The controls shook under Rei's hands. She could feel the Eva's hands twitching, fingers starting to curl... she felt the phantom sensation of fingers around her neck, pressing, crushing... Akagi...the one who killed her... drugged her...

Unit-00's hands curled into claws.

_**KILL HER!**_

.

XXX

.

"Pulses are flowing backwards!" Lieutenant Ibuki shouted.

Unit-00 strained at the restraints, tossing its head, more howls erupting from its sealed head armor.

"Something's going wrong in the 3rd Stage!" the senior tech shouted back. "Rejection occurring in the nerve center elements!"

Ritsuko ran back over to the console. "Cease contact. Break all circuits through #6!" she ordered desperately.

Lieutenant Ibuki shook her head, her hands dashing over her controls."No good! The signal's not being received!"

Unit-00 curled it's huge biceps, tearing the arm restraint array right out of the wall. It shook its arm sharply, once, and the huge bolts sheared off and the array fell to the floor. Unit-00 began to set forward, arms reaching for the control room window.

She had to cut the power. But... she couldn't move. She couldn't move. It was just a dream. A nightmare.

"Cut the power! Cut the power!" someone was shouting.

"Power cut! Unit-00 has shifted to backup power! 47 seconds until it runs out!" Maya's voice? She was never there in her nightmares. That was strange.

Unit-00's fist reared back, then slammed forward into the windows. Shards of thick crystal exploded inward from the blow. A tiny line of fire traced its way across Ritsuko's cheek. The hot blood trickling down her face was the only sensation she could feel. She couldn't move.

"CLEAR THE ROOM!" Misato's voice roared from somewhere off in the distance. There was a stampede of bodies past her. Suddenly she was alone. Just like all the other dreams. Of course...

The huge blue Evangelion punched the windows again. Huge gaps appeared in the crystal as the pillars bent inward over two meters. Unit-00's fingers began working their way through the gaps... coming right for her.

Ritsuko felt more warm liquid trickle down the inside of her leg. "Just a dream... just a bad dream..." she mumbled.

Unit-00's fingers were getting closer. Someone was shouting in her ear, pulling at her arm. She stood still.

Maya was there. Maya's hands were on her arm, shaking her, on her face, screaming at her. She wasn't supposed to be here. This was her nightmare. Maya didn't belong in Hell with h-

The slap rocked her head back. She blinked away stars.

"-_ome __**on**__, Akagi-sempai! Move! __**Please**__!"_

Someone's hands were pulling her back. She let them drag her backwards as her hand rose to touch her cheek. Maya's slap had left a small, clear handprint in the blood on her cheek. It stung.

The giant's fingers were reaching; reaching for _her_... just meters away now...

...then they froze... stopped...

...and began pulling back. The Evangelion's hand stopped just outside the windows, this time for good, as the power finally ran down and it deactivated. The hand dropped away out of sight as the Eva slumped, dead.

Maya was holding her, half-cradling her as they reached the back wall of the smashed control booth and slumped down. She was steadily gasping reassurances and relief that her adored sempai was still alive in Ritsuko's ear. It was like music.

She squirmed around in Maya's grip, turning in her lap until she was facing her protégé. "Maya..." She raised a shaking hand to Maya's face. The palm was wet with blood from more cuts from the smashed window that she hadn't even noticed. Ritsuko gently cupped it against the side of Maya's face. "Th-thank you... you... saved me."

Maya blinked, then blushed at the hand on her face and Ritsuko's softly spoken gratitude. "Y-you were... frozen, w-when everyone evacuated! I... I had to go back for you, sempai! I couldn't let you die! I n-need you!" Maya abruptly clammed up and blushed deeper as that last escaped her mouth.

Ritsuko smiled, dizzy. She slowly pulled her hand away. She began to laugh.

Maya looked at her growing smile, worried. "A-akagi-sempai? Why...?"

Ritsuko pointed at Maya's cheek. She'd left her own bloody handprint behind. "L-look! We match!"

Then her eyes rolled up and she slumped against Maya in a dead faint, utterly limp.


	24. Ch 22 - Advent Pt 6

Advice &amp; Trust Chapter 8.6

**Advent**

.

.

Rei clenched her hands into tight fists, trying to stop the shaking. She'd been right: Once she was in the Entry Plug and the LCL filled it, her remaining physical symptoms from the overdose had largely quieted. So now her splitting headache, shaking hands, and roiling nausea were all for purely psychological reasons.

But she could not allow any of it to show. Could _not._ She had been stuck in the depowered Entry Plug for over an hour now, and could hear the clunks and thuds through the metal as the test chamber crew finally got the recovery crane in place to extract it and her.

She knew what, and more importantly, _who_ would be waiting outside for her. A meeting she was not at all sure she was ready for.

_'I must be as I have always been before. He can destroy me with a single order. I do not wish to be his tool anymore. I do not want to be... what he has made me.'_

The Plug shifted, and she could feel it slowly move upwards and back on the stand-alone backup batteries. Outside, a technician must have worked the emergency controls, and the LCL rapidly drained away. The hatch clunked and swung out. The inside of the Plug was suddenly harshly lit with the stabbing beams of spotlights that made her headache pound.

Her apprehension eased just a tiny bit when she managed to make out that the form reaching in through the hatch was not him, but one of the test chamber recovery techs. The tech eased her carefully out of the small hatch, into the basket dangling from the overhead crane, and lowered them both to the distant floor of the test chamber.

He was there. Towering, hard faced, waiting for her with no outward expression, but long experience let Rei see the razor-sharp focus on her covering intense... worry? Concern, even? Or just a puppeteer worried his prize tool was possibly broken again. _'Am I anything more than a doll to you, Commander? A replaceable part? I know what love is now. And that is not what you hold for me.'_

"Are you alright, Rei?" he asked, his voice tight. She could see his hands twitch slightly.

_'So I am not the only one recalling the last time we were here like this.'_ She kept her face as blank as ever. "I am... not injured, sir." She paused.

Before she could decide if it would be in keeping with her drugged state to ask if she'd hurt anyone, Gendo nodded sharply and gestured with his hand to get her to start following him away from the crowd of technicians trying to clear away the wreckage of Unit-00's rampage and return the Eva to its regular storage state. Rei followed obediently.

Commander Ikari remained silent until they were clear of the test chamber and away from other ears. "What happened, Rei?" he asked quietly. "Why did Unit-00 berserk?"

"I was experiencing a significant drop in my Synch Rate compared to the last Angel fight. At Doctor Akagi's urging, I attempted to force a deep synch with Unit-00 in order to raise my synchronization. Unit-00 reacted... badly. I was unable to restrain the resulting berserker state until after a struggle. During that time it attacked the Pribnow Box control room." Rei let herself blink once as she realized she could fit in her worries. "Did Unit-00 cause damage or casualties?"

"The control room is heavily damaged again, but we can rebuild it, just as we have before," Commander Ikari said. "Minor injuries only. Doctor Akagi had to be taken to the hospital due to passing out, however. Annoying. I need her working on the Evas, not in the hospital again." He looked briefly at her. "Why did you lose control?"

"In the deep synch, I was unprepared for Unit-00's anger. It took me a moment to regain control against its berserk state, though I did. I need to speak to Doctor Akagi. I believe her recent modification of my medication dose was the cause of my depressed Synch Rate," Rei said as flatly as she could.

"She altered your medication?" Gendo raised an eyebrow.

"Increased. She told me my body was adapting to the previous dose, and administered a higher one. I believe the increased amount to have disrupted my ability to synchronize with Unit-00 effectively. I wish to speak to her about correcting this. I must be able to Pilot to combat the Angels to complete the Scenario," Rei hinted carefully. "Doctor Akagi is in the hospital now? If she is conscious, I will speak to her immediately. I must fulfill my function efficiently."

Gendo nodded. "Proceed. We are too close to the end of the Scenario to allow for easily fixable problems like this to interfere. There are only three more Angels. We have come too far to fail now. Instrumentality cannot be left in SEELE's hands."

They halted outside the elevator back to the upper levels of the command pyramid. "Tell Doctor Akagi I authorized a return of your medication to previous levels if needed. We need you to be able to Pilot, Rei. The Second and Third Children are too unreliable and undisciplined. You are the one we can count on, and you know what rests on that. You only have to hang on a little longer, and then you can have the peaceful end you have desired."

Rei stared at him, keeping her face blank. _'I no longer wish for oblivion to free me from my pain. I wish for my loved ones to go on. Humanity is __**not**__ a dead end if it can produce beauty and hope like theirs. Instrumentality cannot be allowed to occur, in SEELE's hands or yours. I would rather...' _Rei almost gasped at the audacity of the thought as it struck her. _'I would rather see that power in __**their**__ hands. I would know I can trust them. I am all but certain now that I cannot trust you.'_

Rei's eyes narrowed a millimeter before she forced them open normally again._ 'Doctor Akagi did not kill the other me... but __**an**__ Akagi did. Her mother? And I know you are not likely to have allowed the previous me any more freedom than you allowed me, before Shinji and Asuka freed me. So however it came about that Akagi the Elder killed the previous me, you must have known everything. Or... who would have been in Unit-00, if my other self were not there?'_

The question had never even occurred to Rei before. Who else would the Commander have sacrificed? He was clearly willing to sacrifice anyone and anything in the name of his Scenario. _'Including the lives and happiness of the ones I love. I will not permit this. Commander Ikari and SEELE both must be prevented from their aims. I am the key. I hold the power to control the gate of Instrumentality. And I will not allow any who unmake the world of my loves to pass. Not Angels, not SEELE, and not you, Commander.'_

"Understood," was all she said to him.

The elevator doors opened and he stepped inside. Rei followed after, but pressed a different button. To his mildly inquiring look, she said, "I will conduct hygiene and proceed directly to Doctor Akagi. Her injuries will not impede my informing her of the necessity of reducing my medication or your order for such. Nothing can be allowed to impair my function. It is what I am made for."

Commander Ikari nodded, satisfied. "The end is coming, Rei. All we have worked for will be rewarded."

_'You would give them nothing but the end of their world. They have just begun to show me how beautiful it is. My own pain and desire for oblivion no longer matters. I will protect them.'_ "Yes, sir."

Rei stepped out when the elevator doors opened for her floor and left without looking back.

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XXX

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Rei had only a second to blink in surprise when she opened the door to leave the locker room and found herself nose-to-nose with Asuka. "Hel-..." was all she got out.

The redhead's eyes went wide. "REI!" She almost tackled the bluenette off her feet into a fierce hug. "_Christ_, we were so _worried!_ Are you alright? We heard the alarms and Unit-00 go berserk, but nobody would tell us anything and they wouldn't let us out of the Entry Plug for forever! All the technicians were running around or working on you, I think."

Rei allowed herself a good thirty seconds to just hug back and enjoy the almost overwhelming pleasure of holding one of her loves in her arms and being held. She didn't care that Asuka's plugsuit was still dripping LCL and it was soaking her fresh student uniform. To hold Asuka was worth it.

She did her best to hide the happy shiver and mild blush as she finally let go. "I am unharmed, Asuka. Thank you. Yes, Unit-00 berserked during the test. My Synch Rate had dropped by over 20% due to the drugs and complications, and Doctor Akagi urged me to push harder in order to make up for-"

Asuka growled. "_She _caused this? What did she make you-"

Rei shook her head. "I am the one who lost control. I attempted a deeper synch with Unit-00 to compensate for my reduced synch. I was unprepared for the intensity of its anger. It seized on my own animosity for Doctor Akagi, and I lost control. It attempted to... kill her. It attacked the control booth and nearly reached her before I regained control." Rei stepped past Asuka, out the door of the locker room and into the corridor, but turned back to face her. "She was injured in the attack and passed out. I am going to speak to her now at the hospital."

Asuka looked confused. "Why?"

"To apologize."

"What?! To _her_?"

"Yes."

Asuka looked like she wanted to spit. "Why the Hell should you apologize to her, Rei?! She's treated you like a... a... a slave! No one treats my friends like a doll! Your whole life as a Pilot has been nothing but abuse from her and Commander Asshole! That overdose alone could have killed you! She deserves every horrible thing that could possibly happen to her for what she's done to you!"

"Her mistreatment of me does not absolve my own. And I want to speak to her not just to apologize, but to... I believe she considers me a rival for the Commander's attention and... affection. I wish to explain to her that I no longer wish for either in any way."

Asuka's face twisted in revulsion. "'Affection'?! You... Commander Asshole has the _hots _for you? I... ugh! That's disgusting!" Asuka blinked and her face went pale. "Oh Gott... he hasn't... he's never tried to-"

Rei shook her head. "No. Commander Ikari never attempted any intimacies with me. Only Kensuke, Shinji, and you have ever had such contact with me. I..." Rei blushed. "I am very happy about that. I find you and Shinji very... desirable."

Asuka flushed too. "Uh... I... um... Th-thank you, Rei. I- I mean _we_ th-think you're very... um... very... is it hot in here?" She swallowed. "Um... you s-sure sound like you've recovered to normal from those drugs!"

Rei gave one of her tiny smiles. "I feel much better. The LCL exposure helped, as I had hoped. But as my depressed Synch Rate showed my body's responses are still dulled, though I can think and feel again. I did not like being unable to feel around you both. I am very grateful you were there. The hugs helped me not feel too much like a puppet again."

"You… you can always count on us, Rei. You're… I mean… you know we…" Asuka's voice dropped to a furtive mumble as she looked around to ensure no one was nearby. Sighting no one, she whispered, "You know we love you too."

Rei's tiny smile broadened a little, into what would have been an ear-to-ear grin in someone more expressive. "I know." She stepped closer to give Asuka one more hug, then stepped back again. "I must go. I need to speak to Doctor Akagi as soon as possible. Commander Ikari has given me permission to require Doctor Akagi reduce the dose she thinks I am taking, to restore my prior Synch Rate. I do not want to miss this chance to speak to her without him questioning what else I might be saying. Please reassure Shinji I am alright, and I shall see you at home tonight." She turned and disappeared down the empty metal corridor.

Asuka stared after her, LCL still dripping from her plugsuit. "Damn it, Soryu. Stop thinking about kissing her," she muttered to herself. Her eyes widened. "Damn it! I forgot to tell her about her mother and Unit-00! Fuck!"

.

XXX

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'_At least this time I don't have any new head injuries or broken bones,'_ Ritsuko thought muzzily as she drifted back to consciousness. _'My mouth is dry, but I'm fairly comfortable, not bleeding and,'_she experimentally squeezed her hand and felt the hand gripping it squeeze back,_'Yes, she's right there. Her, not him, of course.'_

She worked her jaw and spoke without even opening her eyes. She didn't have to; the small fingers in her grip were familiar. "We've got to stop meeting like this, Maya. People are starting to suspect," she joked weakly.

"Eep! Um, Akagi-sempai?! I-i-I, w-w-we're not… umm…" Lieutenant Ibuki squeaked in embarrassment from her seat right next to Ritsuko's hospital bed.

Ritsuko wearily smiled as she opened her eyes. As she expected, Maya was bright red. The room was otherwise empty, saving her assistant any further embarrassment. "How long have I been out?"

Maya fought for some composure. "A-about two hours. I s-stayed with you since I was worried. Y-you... just passed out in my ar- um, lap!"

Ritsuko glanced at Maya's face. There was still a notable remainder of her bloody handprint on Maya's cheek. She hadn't even left long enough to wash it off fully. "And you've been here the whole time," she said, hardly even making it a question.

"You passed out," Maya repeated, mumbling into her chest in a futile attempt to hide her blush. "'Was worried…"

Ritsuko sighed, but couldn't entirely prevent the corner of her mouth from turning up. "Maya, that's… sweet of you, but I'm a grown woman. I can walk, chew gum, dress myself, and I… can…" Sensations that had been prodding at the back of her mind suddenly became more insistent. She abruptlyblinked and looked down at the hospital gown she was now wearing. She lifted up the sheet covering her lower body for a confirming look. "Maya, where are my skirt and underwear?"

Maya blushed some more. "You… the nurses insisted after they brought you in! You… um… had an accident."

It was Ritsuko's turn to redden in embarrassment. _'Ok, so, 'pissed yourself in terror,' doesn't make you sound that grown-up right now.'_

"I had them taken to be cleaned! They'll be back in…" A knock at the door brought Maya's babble to a halt. "Oh… that might be them! I-I-I'll go check!"

She gave Ritsuko's hand one final squeeze and practically leapt out of her seat, skittering to the door. But it was not an orderly delivering freshly cleaned clothes that greeted her once she opened it. Instead, a perfectly blank-faced Rei Ayanami stood there in her student uniform.

"Good evening, Lieutenant Ibuki. I need to speak with Doctor Akagi, if she has regained consciousness," the First Child said calmly. Her gaze slipped past the young tech to note Ritsuko sitting up in the bed. "I see she is. May I come in? Or are you both still talking? I do not wish to interrupt."

"Ah, er, n-no, come in, Ayanami-san." Maya stepped back from the doorway, letting Rei in past her. "I'll go see about your clothes, Akagi-sempai." The young woman darted out the door, still a little red.

Ritsuko blinked when Rei turned back to carefully close the door and lock it. The clone Pilot's eerie red stare made her shiver slightly as she approached the bed, halting just out of reach. Her apprehension was tempered by confusion when Rei suddenly gave her a graceful, precise bow. "I locked the door so that we might speak privately. I wished to apologize."

Ritsuko shook her head minutely. "I… apologize about what?"

"I… that was not me. I was angry with you; the increased drugs were interfering with my ability to synch, so I tried to force a deeper link… and she exploited that."

"Sh-she?"

"The me inside the Eva. _Her_. I was… unready for her anger. I managed to regain control before she could reach you, but… I am still sorry. I do not hate you or wish you to die like she does." Rei met her gaze calmly.

''_Like she does'? I knew it. I knew Unit-00 was after me.' _"You don't 'hate me'? 'She does'? What the Hell good is that to me?! I _know_ 'she' was trying to kill me! What am I supposed to do about the soul of Unit-00 coming after me? _You're _the Pilot! You have to control her!"

"I know. I am sorry that I failed. I do not wish you to die. It gains nothing." Rei's voice was almost… empty, more hollow than usual.

The depression and desire and anger in Ritsuko boiled over. "Gains you nothing?! You'll have him all to yourself, won't you? You're his pet, his precious little doll! He gives you everything he won't give me! I'm just a disposable tool to him!" she snapped bitterly at the clone.

Rei stared at her. "So am I," she said quietly.

Ritsuko almost spat at her. "You're his favorite! I wish he looked at _me_ the way he looks at you!"

"No you don't. _Rei Ayanami_ is his favorite. _I _am not. I am not the first, and nothing says I will be the last. I can die and be replaced, as before." Rei's eyes dropped to the floor. "I hope not like before. Though you dislike me, you are not her. And... I am not the other, either. "

Ritsuko's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about? Who?"

Rei's eyes met hers again. "The me inside the Eva. That's why she hates you. Your mother killed her, before."

Shock shot through Ritsuko like jagged lightning. "…..what?" she barely managed to whisper. _'Mother… killed her? How?' _her thoughts babbled. _'I… the records in Terminal Dogma don't… there's nothing in there about Mother killing the last clone! I…_' Her mother's suicide had been sudden and devastating. Back then, Ritsuko had been all too happy to have the attention and support Gendo had lavished on her, letting her quickly assume the elder Akagi's role as NERV's top scientist… and as his lover shortly after. At the time, she… or was it _he_? …had convinced her that it was because of her unique talents and insight into the still almost newborn field of metaphysical biology. Now, it suddenly seemed far more sinister.

"I felt it across the link in the berserk, when I pushed for the deep synch. And I replaced her. Do not envy me. I… do not want his regard like that. I am I. _A_ Rei Ayanami is his tool. If I die and he replaces me, I am not sure it will be me. I am just like you: His tool. He feels nothing for me that I want." Rei's voice was faintly bitter.

Ritsuko swallowed against a dry throat. _'Nothing for you that you want… does he feel anything that I want for me?' _She had the deep, disquieting feeling she was no more to him than Rei. Just a disposable tool…

The room was silent for a moment before Rei spoke again. "He has ordered me to inform you that my increased medication dosage is to be reduced back to the previous level, due to the increase interfering with my ability to Pilot effectively. I will perform my duties. SEELE must be stopped. But Commander Ikari is... he does not do this for me. You may have all his attention you desire. I do not want it, and would not wish it on you." Her voice was almost as emotionless as always. Almost. That bitter note still lingered.

Ritsuko stared at her, almost paralyzed by the disorienting hurricane the First Child's brief conversation had flung her mind into. Mother, a killer? Gendo must have known, nothing happened in NERV HQ that he did not know about.

"He... he knew. He has to have known... that... he..." she tried to form a sentence. "I... how could he..."

"He used you. Like he uses me. Like he uses everyone," Rei said, cold, hollow... and still with that bitter note. She stared at Ritsuko for a silent minute. "I am sorry. That is another reason I came, to tell you. You deserved to know. I do not hate you." Rei cocked her head a tiny bit. "Perhaps I should," she said, thoughtfully. "You have always treated me as a doll, not a person. But I am I. And... despite everything, I do not. What we do is too important for such things to distract from. So I will not."

"I... am _not_ my mother," Ritsuko said haltingly, half to Rei, half to herself. "I will not... be her. Will _not_!" Her hands clenched into fists, wadding the hospital bed sheet into bunches in her hands. She suddenly froze and went pale. Her head snapped up. "Wait... you 'don't hate me'?! That... you shouldn't be _able_ to hate me or not! Your medication-"

"I always feel, Doctor. I usually just do not _care_," Rei said levelly. "That has not changed. The increased dose you gave me Monday reacted... erratically. That is why Commander Ikari has ordered you to resume the previous dosage level. We know that I can function effectively as a Pilot at that dose. You do not need to worry. I remain who I was the week before. I am fully dedicated to NERV's mission. The Angels will be defeated. SEELE will be thwarted. I will fulfill my function, the purpose for which I was born."

Ritsuko just stared at her. "I... apologize for... treating you like that, then. I... shit..." Ritsuko forced herself to unclench her hands. "He... uses us both, and I spend my time being mad at you instead of him because that's easier..." _'And he never told me about Mother. Not a word in 5 years... he must know!'_

Rei nodded. "We are more alike than you would expect, Doctor Akagi. We both are nothing but replaceable tools to him... and we both have people who still care about us."

Ritsuko barked a bitter laugh. "The last time I talked to Misato, I bit her head off and called her a lazy alcoholic. I'm not doing so well there. And Maya..." She waved at the door. "Thinks I'm someone I'm not."

"She is very devoted to you. And Major Katsuragi is still concerned about you. You do not need to give up. You are not his doll either," Rei replied quietly.

She stood up. "I will leave you to Lieutenant Ibuki's care." Rei bowed precisely to her, then headed to the door. She unlocked and opened the door just as the running footsteps approaching down the hall reached the room.

Lieutenant Ibuki burst in, holding a scrap of white cloth over her head. "Akagi-sempai, I've got your panties!"

Ritsuko covered her face with her hands. "Oh god..."

Rei made sure her back was to Doctor Akagi before placing her hand on Lieutenant Ibuki's shoulder and giving her a tiny smile. "Take care of her, Lieutenant. She needs you," she said, just loud enough for Maya to hear her.

Maya just blinked in surprise at the unexpected comment. "Eh? I..." She slowly lowered her hand as she tried to parse Rei's statement. When the underwear in her grasp reached eye level, she looked at it, and awareness of what she'd just shouted flooded in. "...oops."

"Maya, get in here, close the door, and _give me my skirt and underwear!_" Ritsuko said through her hands.

Rei let herself smile for a fraction of a second longer, then forced her face to its usual blankness and headed down the hall. It had been a difficult day, and she wanted to see her loves. Time to go home.

.

XXX

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Three weeks before Zeruel:

Asuka lay contentedly on their bed, smiling lazily and wallowing in the aftershocks of pleasure still ringing gently through her body. She stretched like a cat and let her eyes drift to where her boyfriend was actually doing what she'd only half-seriously suggested. He was still as naked as she was, which almost made her laugh.

"Are you _really_... yes, you are. I was kidding, baka mine. You don't _actually_ have to 'serenade me with Beethoven in the afterglow', you know?"

He looked up from his fine tuning of his cello and smiled back at her as he laid his bow on the strings. "Oh, I know. But I love making you smile and be happy, and I'm better at music than putting it into words, so...I want to." He began to play something rolling and sweet, surprisingly lilting for a deep noted instrument like the cello.

"You are _such_ a dork." Asuka shook her head and laid back, enjoying the music. Every few days Shinji would do something like this, something so sweet and devoted that she still got occasional (though blessedly less and less frequent) twinges about not being worthy of it. But then the sheer, warming wonder of being _loved_ that much would hit her, and she'd just shiver happily to herself and abandon herself to just reveling in it. Then she'd go back to trying to think of some way to match him. She loved him back just as fiercely, and she wanted to make sure _he_ knew that too. Because if she was having these moments of feeling unworthy of that love, he almost certainly was too, and she wanted to kill that dark notion cold. She liked his smile as much as he liked hers.

The last mellow note hummed to a finish, and Shinji paused, a smile on his face again, this time just at the music he'd just finished. She enjoyed watching him shine at his art, too. She'd watched him play many nights when they were alone since they'd gotten together. Cello pieces ending in intense makeout sessions were nearly a private tradition by now. A thought struck her about this piece, though...

"Shinji... what was that last one? It's... kind of familiar, but I don't recognize it."

He blinked out of his meditation. "Mmm? Oh, something of my own. It's a reduction of a piece I really like, but that a cello isn't meant to play alone. That was a cut-down version for soloing that I came up with since I've never had anyone to play a duet or quartet with."

Asuka blinked herself in surprise. "Never had anyone to...wait... you _composed_ it? Yourself?"

He ducked his head, a faint blush appearing. "I... not really. It's just an extract of the _Händel-Halvorssen Passacaglia_. It's not like it's an original composition entirely. I just..." he waved his bow vaguely. "Kind of... pulled out the parts I could and streamlined them for a solo."

"That's still... damn, Shinji. I'm supposed to be the genius, and _I_ can't even do anything like that."

"There's nothing wrong with that, Asuka. You're not a musician."

An idea crystallized in her mind. She shot him a wild grin, and jumped out of bed, planting her hands on her hips and putting on her haughtiest look. "Oh? 'Not a musician'? I am the Great Asuka Langley Soryu! I am the best at _everything!_ You just watch, Mister I'm-So-Smart!"

She whirled around toward her closet, flinging open the door and diving into the deeper buried boxes in the back. "Where is it, where is...A-HAH!"

She emerged triumphantly with an unmistakably shaped case in her hands. "I haven't played in a while, so I might be a little rusty, but just you wait, Shinji! You better have some sheet music for that piece handy, since _now_," she darted closer to plant a quick kiss on his surprised face, "you've got a _partner!_"

.

XXX

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Two weeks before Zeruel:

"Hee... if I'd known this was how you were going to help me get back in practice, I'd have dug this thing out weeks ago." She wriggled happily back against him, enjoying the warm, alive feel of him against her back, and his arms around her own.

Shinji lightly kissed the back of her neck and stroked his hand along the underside of her left arm. "Well, it's not the most efficient way to teach you, but I don't think either of us wants to try any other way..."

"Definitely not. Besides, practicing naked means no shirtsleeves to get caught, right? One, two..."

Shinji's hand gently guiding her own, she brought the bow down and across the strings of the violin tucked under her chin. The resulting sound was close to actual notes now instead of the jagged screeching she'd produced on her first attempt at taking up the instrument again. Shinji had winced and offered to help. His tentative embrace from behind to guide her hands had quickly become a far more close cuddle that was only half about practice anymore. Neither of them had minded much. A week of such 'helping' had shaken off most of the rust in her technique.

His hands eventually rose off hers and he stepped back, taking a seat and picking up his own bow. Her slow, unsteady notes were quickly joined by his own, and a hesitant duet began. Her eyes remained mostly on the sheet music stand in front of her, but whenever they did rise to meet his, he was already smiling at her, and she couldn't stop herself from answering.

Hours of practice when Misato was not around to hear granted rapid improvement. They'd both agreed that letting their guardian see them happily playing together would be too much of a giveaway as to their true feelings for each other, so they'd determined to hide it until they had to tell her. They just couldn't stop smiling when they played together.

Still, Asuka was smiling even when they weren't. They were practicing every time Misato was out for the night, or left them alone for the afternoon, and making rapid progress at getting her up to snuff. It wouldn't be much longer before she really could duet with him. He said he'd never had a partner to play with before. She surprised herself with how much she wanted that to be _her_.

_'Me, and no one else who can come close to that. Even Rei won't have that little channel of intimacy to him. Just me and him, connected, partners. Mine.'_ She closed her eyes for a moment and savored the feel of his arms around her, his nimble fingers guiding hers, the hum of the strings... a whole world of just the two of them. It wasn't even about possessiveness, not really. She just wanted to be the one who could be that partner he'd been looking for for so long. To be that missing piece for him.

_'Like you are for me, Shinji.'_

.

XXX

.

The week after Zeruel:

Sweat beaded her brow, threatening to make her eyes sting as it dripped. She tilted her head to let it trickle to the side, and played harder, staring at the notes on the last page as if she could make them shake in fear out of pure intensity.

The last measure. Her bow flashed back and forth, will and focus forcing compliance out of still-not-practiced-enough hands to finish in time and on beat with him.

For his part, Shinji was playing easily, watching her, not his own page stand. He didn't even have one, _Canon in D_ being yet another piece he knew from memory. "Besides," he'd said earlier, "the cello part of _Canon in D_ is literally something I can play in my sleep. It's that simple."

She finished with a flourish of her bow, breathing hard. "I did it!" Not a note dropped, not a missed measure... she'd successfully played an entire duet piece with him.

Shinji smiled gently. "Now... we get fancier."

.

XXX

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The night of Unit-00's berserker event:

Rei looked at her own apartment door for a moment, but couldn't make herself very interested in going in. It was utterly better than her old place in every possible way, but right now she was uninterested in going in. She was interested in the apartment next door, the place who's proximity she considered to be the best feature of her new domicile: The apartment where her loves lived, and where she spent every moment she could find. And after a day like today, she really wanted, no, _needed _ to bask in the glow of their bond and let it soothe the ragged edges of her own soul. Just being near them was enough. Knowing they cared for her was almost too good to bear.

_'My soul is raw enough from grappling with the other me today, and concealing my changes from the Commander and Doctor Akagi. I hope that my apology and notification of the truth about her mother will alter her view of me and the Commander. She has too much power over me to let her remain so hostile. I cannot accept any more numbness. It will impair my ability to protect those I love,'_ Rei thought to herself as she used the spare key Major Katsuragi had provided her to open the door.

She entered the apartment, and was greeted by music. She blinked in puzzlement, walking quickly through the kitchen to the living room to discover what the source of the delightful sounds was. The cello she expected, but who was...

She entered the living room to find her loves glowing, their bond lighting up the room to her sight with the sheer blaze of emotion and intimacy they were throwing off like a flame. She closed her eyes and let it wash over her like a warm blanket of joy and trust.

The music was nice too. ( youtube watch?v= lndgxAN73ZY )

The music stuttered to a halt, though, once Shinji broke the gaze he was holding with Asuka and noticed her arrival. "Rei!" he exclaimed, bursting into a relieved smile.

Asuka whirled around, her violin lowering. "You're home!"

She quickly put her instrument down and enveloped the bluenette in a fierce hug before she could even return the greeting. Rei was not displeased at all. Rei's happiness only increased when she felt Shinji join in, his arms wrapping around her too. Caught between them, held tight and close, with the care for her she could see and feel pouring off them, Rei closed her eyes again and let herself enjoy the closest thing she had ever experienced to a moment of perfect happiness. For the first time in her short, largely numbed life she understood what 'crying from joy' meant. "I'm home," she whispered to them.

"Welcome home, " Shinji replied automatically, smiling. He and Asuka let go and stepped back far enough to talk normally. "Rei, it's really good to see you. Asuka said you were ok, but... you really went to _apologize_ to Doctor Akagi? _Her_?"

Rei nodded. "I was unready for Unit-00's anger. I do not wish harm on Doctor Akagi, but she does."

Asuka and Rei shared a look. Asuka turned back to Rei and began, "Rei... about your Eva... we think we've figured out... something important about it. And ours. We think-"

Rei brought her hand up to Asuka's lips, silencing her gently. "I... this has been a day that hurt and wearied my soul and body. I think I know what you mean to say, but... can we let it wait for tomorrow? I just... want to be with you both for this evening, and let your presence and bond ease my pain. Please?"

The Second and Third Children shared another look. Shinji shrugged. Asuka looked back to Rei again, nodding. "If... that's what you want, Rei. It's important, but... so are you. That's why we were playing, actually. We wanted to show you what we've been up to over the last few weeks, and welcome you home with something nice after what happened this afternoon. We can... talk about it tomorrow."

"Thank you." Rei glanced at Shinji's instrument. "You two have been making such beautiful music together. Thank you for letting me see it."

Asuka blushed. Shinji blinked at her, then coughed. "Uh... right, the music. Ah... you're welcome, Rei. Have a seat, we've got more to play for you. Oh, let me get your dinner first! I made some vegetable miso and rice for you."

Rei sat down near Asuka's chair and music stand. "You are both... so wonderful. I hope I can repay you both for everything, one day."

Asuka looked away, still pretty red. "Yeah, well... um... you know how we feel, Rei. You... neither one of us could stand it if you got hurt or anything. That berserk thing had us really worried. You... y-you mean a lot to us, you know? So... w-we're glad you're ok and home now."

"I am. I will always come back to you two, Asuka. If I can promise nothing else from my love for you both, I can promise that."

Asuka reddened right back up, and sputtered something. "I... Shinji, where's her dinner? We've got music to play!"

Rei smiled again, resting, relaxing. This was everything. Returning to people who loved her and comforted her heart. Yes... no Instrumentality was worth this. This was _home_.

_''Where the heart is.' I understand now.' _ Rei took a deep breath and let her edges down a little. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. _'But then... I've never been home before. And I never want to leave.'_

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XXX

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Geofront Apartment 298-B was by any normal standards of living space in post-Second Impact Japan huge, luxurious, and richly furnished. It was deep under layer after layer of armor, defenses, and protective weaponry. It was filled with cutting-edge technology and the latest fashions in furniture and decor.

It was also very cold, lonely, and empty, save for a cat, two empty bottles of wine, and a crying woman.

_'Well... mmaybbe threeee bottles. Cann't tell, they whon stip movin','_ Ritsuko tried to think. The wine hadn't made things clearer, but it had provided vital numbness. On top of the painkillers she had taken at the hospital, she now felt no physical pain at all.

It had not been a good idea even at the start, but Ritsuko was tired, aching inside and out, and almost desperately in need of some numbness, even loneliness. She could feel the breakdown coming on, and wanted some solitude. She didn't want this to be in front of anyone. She'd had to firmly dissuade a very persistent Maya from coming home with her. It had been very hard: Maya had been very determined not to leave her visibly upset sempai alone, and the prospect of Maya's plain concern for Ritsuko and unrelenting cheerfulness coming home and staying with her had been an extremely seductive idea, so appealing Ritsuko almost started to sob right in the hospital she wanted it so much. But she knew this would be a bad, bad night, and made herself tell Maya to go to her _own_ apartment and that she'd see her in the morning.

"Cannn't let her shee this. Not this. She thinks I'm so grate... great. Iff she knew **half** the things I've done, half the sins I've committed... for him."

She rolled over and sat up unsteadily on her bed. Him. She'd been everything he demanded of her. Scientific genius, computer wizard, confidant... slut. She hated how much she wanted it, sometimes.

_'And you sneered at Misato and Kaji for indulging so much... at least they actually cared about each other, loved each other. What does he think of you? You think he __**cares**__?'_

"Shut up..." she mumbled at herself. Stupid voices. The wine was supposed to keep them muzzled, not let them out. She rose unsteadily to her feet and stumbled to the kitchen in search of another bottle.

She looked around the living room as she passed through it on the way. Stylish, a few cat-themed decorations... and not a single sign of him. Not so much as a book out of place or single thing from him. No gifts, no flowers, nothing. He never stayed the night, rarely came to her place anyway. It was always her going to him. When he called for her, or when she just went herself. He usually let her.

_'And for what? You're just another tool to him. Less even then the doll. And even __**she**__ pities you for wanting him. She doesn't want him. Just you. Just you... just like __**Mother**__.'_

And there it was. The thought that made the drinking while on painkillers, made the dwelling on her loneliness and Gendo's lack of true care for her seem like the better alternative. The thought she'd been doing her best to avoid all night.

'_Mother was a murderer.'_

She ripped open the refrigerator and fumbled for the last bottle of wine. It took three tries to get the cork out. She tilted her head back and took a long drink from the bottle before she even started back towards her bedroom. If she was lucky, she'd manage to drink herself unconscious before… before…

'_Mother was a murderer. She killed the first Rei. Then she killed herself…'_

She shook her head, trying to force the thought away. All she accomplished was to make the room start to spin even worse, the floor wobbling under her feet like jello.

'_And you're just like her.'_

She collapsed into the chair at the desk in the bedroom, the sloppy landing of the bottle knocking over the pair of cat dolls by her computer. The black and white figurines bounced against each other, then rolled apart. The black one rolled backwards to bump against the monitor. The white one rolled to the edge of the desk, evaded her numb fingers, and shattered in a burst of ceramic shards as it hit the floor.

'_Oh, look, a metaphor,'_ her inner voice noted bitterly.

"I'mmm not like her. Not. Not gonna…"Her head throbbed. Her body ached. Her stomach hurt. She reached for the bottle of painkillers she'd brought home from the hospital. The child-proof cap proved to also be Ritsuko-proof after three bottles of wine, however. "…jump off the MAGI!" She threw the bottle at the bed in frustration.

'_You're halfway into your fourth bottle of wine and trying to take more pills. You're a goddam doctor, Ritsuko. Are we still going to pretend you don't remember what happens when you mix sedatives and alcohol at this dosage? Are we still pretending this isn't a half-assed suicide attempt?'_

Her eyes widened and her stare fixed on the bottle of pills on the bed. Her tongue slid around her teeth, the cloying taste of the wine still filling her mouth.

'_You know you've thought about it. Hurting her. That last little 'increase' wasn't __**just**__ to stabilize her, was it? You wanted to punish the little doll for taking his eyes off you. That dose was just a bit below what you __**knew**__ would be too much, and you didn't even bother with a blood test first. You knew what you were doing. And if it was too much, oops, too bad, just pull a new clone out of the tank, since she's just a disposable doll. You'd not have shed a tear if she died by 'accident'. All to keep his eyes on you… just like Mother.'_

Ritsuko's stomach roiled and she bolted for the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet before a violent heave of wine, bile, and stomach acid erupted from her lips. The bowl looked like an offering of blood from the regurgitated wine. "'m not her… not her…" she panted weakly as the heaves finally halted.

'_You think a little hair dye makes a fucking difference? You're his chief science flunky, maintain his Evas and MAGI, you're in his bed, desperate for his attention, you want to hurt Rei for being a threat to your so called 'relationship' with him... Face it: You're just misplacing your hair dye and__** murdering a girl **__away from __**completely turning into Mother! **__And then __**taking a header off the MAGI**__! But hey, you managed to skip the 'murder' part and go straight to the 'suicide'! You're ahead of the curve! Beat that, Mother!'_

"No...wonnn't... nevr..." she slurred into the bowl. "Not like her... dun wanna be her..." Hot, bitter tears began to join the strings of bile and snot still dripping from her face into the bowl.

She staggered to her feet, wiping the mess off her face with a towel that she just threw on the floor. She'd clean up in the morning. If there was a morning.

_'You're just like her... stupid, blind, used...'_

She stopped to lean heavily against the bathroom doorframe on the way out. There was a trail of blood on the floor, leading... towards her? She looked down, then lifted her left foot to check. Yup, a sliver of white ceramic protruded from the bottom of her foot, freely dribbling blood. She hadn't even noticed the injury or the blood. She felt nothing.

_'This metaphor just keeps on going, doesn't it? You can't even feel it when you hurt yourself running away from something that was due to him anyhow... oh look, you've even got blood on your hands now, too!'_

She managed to pull the sliver out on the fourth try, gaining another small cut on her fingertip in the process. She still felt nothing.

_'Stupid, blind fool. You think you're so smart. You've known for months he's just using you, but you kept making excuses. And this whole time he never said a word about Mother. Bastard. And ten to one if he called right now you'd __**still**__ hop and go right to him, just so you wouldn't have to feel alone. You told your oldest friend she was a lazy alcoholic the last time she tried to talk to you. She was the one who came to see you, not him. Just her and... Maya. Who you firmly told to leave you alone tonight. And then came straight home and started drinking on an empty stomach and taking painkillers.'_

She couldn't bring herself to care about the blood.

_'You never could.'_

So she just wobbled her way around the remaining fragments to the bed, reaching over to grab the wine bottle as she passed. She placed the bottle carefully on the night table before collapsing onto the bed. The king-size bed that was all too empty and cold. As always.

"He nevr stayz..." Her mouth tasted of bile and lingering hints of wine. She reached across the empty side where a partner, a lover, someone to hold would lie. Her reaching fingers found only cold silk satin sheets and a still-closed bottle of pills. She shuddered and pushed them away.

The sheets were still cold. The space beside her so empty. She'd never felt the utter _absence _of something mock her so much.

_'Was it him being 'charming'? The attention? Just him being there after Mother... did that? That Electra Complex is a bitch, isn't it? Are you that afraid to be alone? Afraid that no one wants you? The way you treat the friends you __**do**__ have, it's hardly surprising no one wants to be here with you.'_

"Maya did..." she whispered.

_'Dear, sweet, innocent Maya, who has no idea who you really are? Who doesn't know your hands are covered in blood, and you're willingly helping him plan what he's planning? Who would be __**revolted**__ if she was here right now and could hear what you're thinking? Just picture the look on her face if she knew... You're a real piece of work, Ritsuko. Misato and Kaji have each other. You know they're back together, even if they keep denying it. That Horaki girl has a boyfriend. Even the goddam First Child has friends, plural. Who do you have?'_

Ritsuko couldn't hold in the sob. She grabbed the other pillow and held it in a crushing embrace. "Hurts... dun... dun wanna... be alone..."

_'You've done a pretty fucking good job of arranging it, though. No one's looking for you, you told the only person who wanted to be here to go home by herself and not call you, and then started on trying to either kill yourself or drink yourself unconscious. You sure you didn't want this?'_

The pillow was becoming a mess of tears and snot. "I don' wan... be alone..." she mumbled into it.

Unbidden, no, unstoppably, a vision pushed its way into her mind's sight: Maya, laying next to her, smiling gently, concerned, reaching over to brush her hair out of her face. She could almost feel her cool fingertips on her temple. Her eyes, full of care. For her. Just for being her. Just wanting to be there with her, for her, beside her.

It was so wonderful it hurt.

"She dozn know... can'... can' let her know...

_'She was there when you woke up. Twice. That's twice more than he ever has.'_

"She'd hate me..."

_'Are you sure? You thought __**he'd**__ love you. You were wrong then. You want to keep on being alone that much? You stopped and threw up this time. You want to bet you won't try this again another night if you keep feeling like this?'_

Memory flashed at her. Him, right after Mother, telling her 'Ritsuko Akagi, I truly need you.' Tall, dark, dominating, everything that made her melt. She'd believed him, then. And when he'd let her 'seduce' him, all awkward 25 years of her, she'd thrilled to his touch, his weight, everything. She'd felt needed, desirable, fulfilled... And now she couldn't stop hearing that tiny little whisper of 'Yui' from him... the last time hadn't even been the first time that had happened.

_'She might hate you... but you know for sure he does not care. She might. Misato still came to see you too. Even Kaji has seen you. And if those two can forgive each other and start again, maybe... maybe you can too. Maybe there's a way out that isn't...this.'_

"But..."

_'If Misato and Kaji and... and Maya still turn their backs on you, then... you're just right back here. No worse than you already are. It can only go up. Unless you want to roll over and take some more of those pills and chase them with the rest of that wine, and finish what you started.'_

Ritsuko lay there, just breathing and clutching the pillow like a life preserver for a long, long time. Finally, she rolled over, hands shaking, reaching for the night table where the bottles stood...

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...and picked up the phone.

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XXX

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Author's Note: Sorry for the long delay, everyone. New job taking up writing time, and these scenes were hard to work through anyhow. A&amp;T keeps chugging along, though. I _hope_ the next couple of scenes will go faster, but then, I think that a lot. Thanks for all the reviews, they do keep me going.

.

I was tempted to leave that last line off, too. But that would have been a bit evil. :V

Anyone want to guess who she's calling? She is drunk as Hell, so it could be Chinese takeout. :)


	25. Ch 23 - Advent Pt 7

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 8.7

**Advent**

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* * *

With some difficulty, she punched in the short designator for the pre-saved number. It rang several times. This was not surprising; it was very late. Or very early, really.

Click. "...Yes?"

Ritsuko swallowed. "...I ...need your help."

There was a long pause. "...now?"

"Yes."

Another long pause. "...Your apartment?"

Ritsuko almost sobbed in relief. "Yes," she gasped.

The call disconnected. She sagged back onto the bed, the phone falling out of her hand to lay beside her. The apartment was still dark, cold, and still... but now she didn't feel quite so alone.'

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* * *

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Her eyes snapped open, a weak, mumbled cry of alarm halfway out of her mouth before she was fully awake. She sat up, rubbing at her eyes, trying to slow down her hammering heartbeat and heaving breaths.

"Gott damn it... Misato, this is your fucking fault." She hadn't had a nightmare in weeks. Months. Not once since Shinji had started sleeping beside her. But now they were back, and she knew why: It had been almost a week now since Misato had asked/told them to sleep separately until she decided how she was going to react to learning they were together. It had been bad enough the first night, with her sleep restless and unsettled, and it had only gotten worse each passing day. Now she was waking up from a nightmare that she couldn't quite remember...

She clutched at her chest. No... she only wished she couldn't remember. Enough stuck with her, more than enough to send another wave of shivering down her body. She shot a look at the clock by her bed. 4:23 am.

Asuka bit her lip for a second, but then got out of bed, muttering, "...that's it. I can't stand this anymore. Sorry, Misato, but I _need_ him."

She grabbed tomorrow's clothes out of her dresser and her A-10 headset off the night table, tiptoeing to the door, and sliding it open silently. A cautious glance down the hall showed no signs of any activity from Misato's room. She ghosted across the hall, even holding her breath for extra silence. She slipped the door to Shinji's room open and closed in under two seconds. She tucked her bundle of clothes into the corner by the door. Rising from where she'd bent over, she almost jumped in alarm when she turned around to find Shinji already sitting up and staring at her, confusion melting into a warm smile that sparked a matching one on her face. "Hey..."

"Once upon a time, you sneaking into my room at night in just a shirt and underwear would have made me pass out from either terror or lustful nosebleeds. Now I'm just really happy to see you. You couldn't sleep either?" he asked, lifting his blanket and scooting over to offer her room.

She gladly took the offer, slipping under the sheets in a second, enjoying the warm spot he'd partially vacated for her and wrapping herself around him. "No, worse. I _was_ asleep, and had a..."

Shinji's mouth pressed into a grim line. "A nightmare." He nuzzled the side of her neck, sending more shivers down her spine, but happy ones this time. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, Asuka."

She cuddled in close, letting his warmth soak in through her sleep shirt. She could already feel herself relaxing, some unnamable tension deep inside her already uncoiling. "Not your fault, baka mine. But we have _got_ to press Misato about letting us get back to sleeping together tomorrow. I can't stand any more of this. I _like_ not having nightmares every damn night, and if I don't have you next to me, I will. They've been growing all week, and now they're waking me up again."

Shinji just held her for a moment. "Do... do you want to talk about it?"

Asuka couldn't stop herself from smiling in the dark. He'd never have dared ask that of her four months ago, and she'd have ripped his head off if he had. Now, she just felt warm that she could if she wanted to, even as she had to throttle the wave of anxiety that recalling the nightmare awoke. "I... maybe."

"Was it...your mother again?" he asked hesitantly.

She shook her head minutely. "No. A new one. Worse."

She could almost hear his eyebrows rise. "Worse than the one about your mother? What cou-"

She hugged him tighter, like he might slip away. "You."

"Me? I... oh."

She nodded again. "We're fighting Israfel again, but it..." she paused and gave him another squeeze, to reassure herself. "It... when it explodes, something pierces Unit-01's Entry Plug and you're gone and there's nothing I can do, and... and..." She trailed off, unable to even say the terrible words aloud.

Shinji nodded. "I... I've had a nightmare or two like that too," he almost whispered. "M-maybe Misato has a point about us not-"

"No she doesn't." Asuka cut him off. "We're not going to stop loving each other, so that leaves just stopping being Pilots together, which _also_ is not going to happen. We're the only ones who _can_. We already saw what happens when Rei gets left to fight alone. I'm not going to do that to her or Hikari as long as we can do anything about it. And I am _not_ going into battle without you right with me anymore. And I told you, you're not allowed to die, ever."

Shinji gave a single, sad laugh. She was clinging to him so tightly now she was almost vibrating. Despite her words, he could tell the nightmare had really disturbed her. "You either, Asuka. I... I can tell I'd just completely go to pieces if anything ever happened to you. If... if I'd missed that jump in the volcano by even a second..." He couldn't even finish the sentence, just burying his face in her hair.

Asuka was silent for a minute. "A psychiatrist would probably say we're all kinds of unhealthily dependent on each other, but they can shove it. I've never been happier. And... I don't want to stop." She rolled her head to the side to look him in the face. "And I know you feel the same. That's one of the best parts. I don't have to doubt at all. I know, because you're just like me."

Shinji visibly pushed the dark thoughts away, and a small smile crossed his lips. "Oh, so you're a baka too now?"

Asuka stuck her tongue out at him. "No, that's still your job." She closed her eyes. "As is being my body pillow to keep the bad dreams away. So I'm staying here, and we'll just have to be sure to get up ahead of Misato."

Shinji shrugged a little. "I think she'd even believe us if we get caught and we tell her we both stayed dressed and nothing happened but holding each other. But... as much as I hate going against what she asked of us..."

Asuka snorted at the 'asked'.

"...I care about you not having nightmares more." He closed his eyes too.

"No dying, ever. That goes for Rei, too. You both... be careful," Asuka said softly. "Weird as it sounds to say, I don't think I... or you either could stand losing Wondergirl now. She's... I never thought I'd say it, but I love her too, almost as much as I love you, Shinji. I don't want to ever worry like I did in that fight, that we might not make it in time to save her."

She could hear Shinji swallow in the darkness. "Y-yeah... I... I don't need... you're all I want, Asuka. But I can see how... Rei could have been with me, you know? How it could have been..."

"Yeah, me too." Asuka stiffened. "She's so pretty... I-I-I mean-"

Shinji just squeezed her. "I... I don't mind, Asuka. I... I understand what you mean. It's not... we just love her."

"It's n-not like I'm suddenly into girls or anything! Just... just Rei. I... you've been thinking about what it'd be like to kiss her lately, haven't you?"

"...yes. You know I'd _never_ do anythi-" Shinji admitted in a rush.

Asuka managed to find his lips by feel for a quick kiss. "I know. Me either. But... yeah. We love her. And while we may not... be able to... um... make room for her, we still want her happy, right?"

"Yes. So... we... help her find someone? I don't know who could... be good enough for her," he said slowly.

"I don't know either, but for now we just make sure to tell her about her mom's soul, and... give her more nights like tonight. I don't think I've ever seen her so happy."

"I... yeah. I wonder if she meant it? Asking if she could learn something to play with us?"

"Wondergirl's no dummy. She might be able to. And a viola is the natural complement to make a string trio with you and me." Asuka smiled in the dark. "We may not be able to date her, but we can still 'make sweet music together', hmm?"

"I... I'd like that."

"Me too. So tomorrow, let's see about it. Let's make sure she knows we love her too."

: / / chinjyunokobeya. sakura. ne. jp / sblo_files / sabo-p / image / 130226las. p n g

* * *

Fortunately, Shinji's habit of rising early protected them from being discovered still a-bed, and they were both dressed and working on breakfast before Misato emerged from her room. Very fortunate: Misato was unusually clear-eyed, showing no signs of her once-usual morning hangover, though she did look still tired. She'd been out late with Kaji again or something, which Shinji and Asuka had enjoyed a great deal, since it left them the evening alone with Rei.

Misato merely mumbled greetings to the pair and waved them on their way as they left for school. That process was slightly delayed by a few minutes of kissing before they actually exited the apartment. Asuka had gotten rather happily used to their morning departure kiss, a routine that had expanded a good bit once they no longer had to be quite as careful about concealing it.

Misato did stick her head around the corner of the entrance hallway after she failed to hear the door open and close after several minutes. She shook her head at the still happily kissing couple. "Get moving, you two. You don't want to have to explain _this_ as the reason you were late to school. I'm sure not going to."

"Explain? Ha! Brag, more like," Asuka retorted, but reluctantly released her embrace of Shinji and pressed the button to open the door. "Half our class is jealous of us anyhow. All the harpies who've been panting after _my _baka-Shinji sure are. But he's mine mine mine~." She let a smug grin occupy her lips as she pulled Shinji out the door after her by the hand.

Their first stop was right next door. They pushed the doorbell for Rei's apartment together, sharing a smile. Rei'd been practically floating on air when she finally left last night, a beatific smile on her face after one last round of double-hugs.

But it was a far more subdued First Child that greeted them when the door opened. Rei's face was so flat and drawn that for a moment Shinji worried she'd somehow suffered a relapse of her drugs again. But the faint circles under her eyes showed it was more normal fatigue that made her blank today.

"You alright, Rei? You looked a lot better when you left last night," Asuka inquired, concerned.

Rei gave her a tired smile and shook her head. "I am fine. I did not get much rest last night. The events of yesterday were… troubling. I will be alright. I think my talk with Doctor Akagi achieved new stability for us. We are more alike than she thought."

Shinji and Asuka shared a look. They'd been glad to hear Rei had maneuvered the Commander into ordering her old medication regime reinstated, since they knew Rei could already fool the tests for that level with the help of stockpiled urine samples collected before she went off the drugs. But Rei had been somewhat vague about the rest of her conversation with the faux-blonde scientist, not saying much besides that her apology had been accepted, and that Doctor Akagi had even apologized to Rei for how she had treated her. Asuka looked back to Rei, frowning. "You're nothing like her, Rei. You are a beautiful person that we love and trust. _She_ is a titanic bitch who no one would shed a tear for if she fell into the LCL in the Eva cages and drowned."

"That is perhaps the problem," Rei replied calmly. She stepped out of the apartment and began leading them to the elevator. "No one would have shed a tear for me six months ago. I was nothing but a tool for the Commander. I still am, though now I have better reasons to fight." She looked back over her shoulder at them, giving them a small, warm smile that was her equivalent of beaming ear-to-ear. "Doctor Akagi is no less a tool and victim of the Commander than I am. That is why I can forgive her, despite her treatment of me: I understand her."

Asuka sighed unhappily. "You're too good to her, Rei. I sure as Hell couldn't let something like that go so easily. And I'm _still_ going to be angry on your behalf at her. Nobody treats my friends like that."

"And even if we do, it's just one more horrible thing my father has done to people near him," Shinji growled. "I'm not forgiving him so easily, no matter what."

Asuka nodded, and linked her hand with Shinji's and they piled into the elevator.

* * *

w w w. youtube watch?v = DEtEwR4OYhI

Evaiolin - Symphony No. 9

* * *

Slipping back into the routine of school was almost a relief. It would have nearly been one for real if not for the still hostile stares of the girls unhappy to see Asuka walk in the school's gate hand-in-hand with Shinji, with Rei right on their heels. And the way Hikari's desk still stood empty kept it from truly being a peaceful start on the new normal.

Looking from Hikari's desk to the back of the classroom, Asuka shot an actual sympathetic look at Touji, who was also staring at his absent girlfriend's desk with a truly miserable expression. He looked up long enough to meet Asuka's eyes, and silently begged her for good news, to which she had to regretfully shake her head. They'd been too angry with Doctor Akagi yesterday to get a chance to wheedle answers out of her, and Misato had done no better in the short interval before Unit-00's berserking had upset things. He sank down lower in his seat, looking even more depressed.

"We need to go down to the hospital this afternoon and bull our way in to see Hikari," she said, turning to Shinji. "And not let any 'quarantine' bullshit, guards, or anything else stop us."

Shinji didn't look at her, staring off towards the door of the classroom. "I don't think we should go all the way down to the hospital."

Asuka frowned, almost glaring at him. "Why the Hell not? Don't tell me you think Doctor Bitchface is taking good care of her."

Shinji smiled, turning halfway back to her. "No, I think because we'd be wasting our time."

Asuka blinked. For the first time in weeks she found herself actually starting to get a little angry with Shinji. "What are you, stupid? We-"

Shinji just put his hand over her mouth and pointed at the door.

Her eyes widened. She barely had a second to see a smiling Hikari Horaki standing in the doorway, opening her mouth to greet them, before an ecstatic shout from the back of the room interrupted.

"_Hikari!_" Touji shouted as he appeared to almost leap over the intervening rows of desks.

Hikari had just enough time to spread her arms and gain a dazzling smile before Touji almost crashed into her embrace and began desperately kissing her. "ToujMMPH!"

Shocked gasps at the display arose from some of their classmates who had remained unaware of the Class Rep's relationship with the tall jock. Asuka smiled under Shinji's hand, and reached up to remove it from her face. "You could have just said so, baka."

"And miss the chance to watch you look surprised?" he grinned back.

She poked him playfully in the side. "Dork."

Rei smiled behind them in her seat by the windows. "Such fire… they blaze like you two do," she said softly.

Asuka raised an eyebrow. "You just enjoy seeing people in love, don't you, Rei?"

Rei nodded. "Love is… beautiful."

Asuka snorted lightly, but looked fondly at her boyfriend. "Yeah, I guess so."

Their elderly sensei had to clear his throat a few times before Junko Iwao got the hint and stood up to help pry Hikari and Touji apart, since they showed no sign of separating under their own power anytime soon. A beaming and flushed Hikari finally remembered where she was and what she was supposed to be doing, and sent Touji back to his seat with a lingering brush of her hand before getting into the 'Rise! Bow! Sit' morning routine with occasional giggles.

"Eh, before we beging class today, um, hem..." Nebukawa-sensei began, "We have a new transfer student joining us today... please introduce yourself to the class, child."

Shinji and Asuka blinked. They'd been so happy to see their friend and fellow Pilot released from her quarantine, they'd failed to notice the smiling student standing in the hall behind her. Light footsteps took the newcomer to the chalkboard, where nimble hands quickly drew a few elegant kanji on the board. He turned to face the class with a gentle smile.

"Hello, everyone. My name is Kaworu Nagisa. I am very happy to be here today." His red eyes slid towards the Pilots' corner of the classroom. "_Very_ happy."

imgur. com. FCvbEEf . p n g

End Chapter 8.

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A/N: Well, certainly took us a while to finish Chapter 8, didn't it? But the Fifth Child has now arrived, and things will get very tense for the First Child. Thanks for all the reviews, they keep me going.


	26. Ch 24 - Everything I Do Pt 1

Advice &amp; Trust Chapter 9.1

**Everything I Do...**

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The reminder of her duties as Class Rep seemed to have knocked Hikari mostly back into her role. She steadfastly refused Asuka's attempts at eye contact and subtle gestures to look at her school laptop for the volley of chat messages Asuka began firing off. Next to her Shinji was fielding an excited barrage of messages from Touji, who had turned to his friend when Hikari only replied to his first few giddy messages with a gentle insistence that they pay attention in class and hold the rest of their reunion at lunchtime.

Neither one of them paid much attention to the grey-haired newcomer, who simply smiled, nodded, and headed for the empty seat at the back row of the class, two to the right of Touji. The overjoyed jock paid him no attention, too busy hammering out a steady stream of cheerful chat messages to Shinji and Kensuke to even look up. Some of the single girls in the class followed the pretty newcomer's passing with a curious eye, but even they were soon forced to turn their heads and at least pretend to pay attention to class, though a fevered speculation on his suitability as a dating target quickly grew on the instant message system.

Only one person stared at him steadily and hard.

Nagisa didn't seem to notice Rei's stare, or gave no sign if he did. Rei eventually turned her head back forward, but it was a long time before her friends noticed her silent tension. They could be forgiven for missing it for as long as they did: Rei was a quiet person to begin with, and Hikari's return was more than sufficient distraction to keep them from spotting it for quite a while. But the stiff-backed tension pouring off Rei was too much to hide for too long. Shinji, a smile from Touji's last excited message still lingering on his face, raised his head and noticed Rei was staring hard at the front of the classroom when she wasn't darting looks back at the new student.

Shinji's smile dropped away. He and Asuka had gotten pretty good at reading the tiny signs that were Rei's full-blown emotional signals, and her body language was currently shouting 'something is wrong!' He tilted his head towards her and did his best to keep his voice below the level Nebukawa-sensei would notice. "Rei? Something wrong? You look… kind of upset."

Asuka blinked and looked up too. Her eyes narrowed as she took in Rei's stiff posture and miniscule frown.

"I… do not know. Nagisa-san is… he looks strange," Rei said quietly. "He is… something is not right."

Asuka quickly shot a look back at the new boy. "The grey hair is a bit weird on a kid, yeah. And the red eyes. But that's kind of like yours, Rei, and I just think it makes you look ho-" Asuka coughed. "_Exotic_, I mean." She looked back again. "I wonder where he's from. His name is Japanese, but he… kind of looks foreign?"

"He looks friendly enough," Shinji commented.

"I don't like him," Rei said.

Shinji and Asuka looked at each other. They'd never seen Rei take an instant _dislike_ to someone. Even her initial response to Asuka's brash greeting when they met had been merely reserved coolness, not this… tense hostility.

"Huh? Why?" Shinji asked.

Rei shook her head slightly. "I do not know. Something about him bothers me."

"What? What about him bothers you?" Asuka said, turning to look at Nagisa again, trying to see what had Rei's hackles up.

"I am not sure. Just... something."

Shinji looked too. "He hasn't done anything but introduce himself and say he's happy to be here." Shinji's ears perked up as a snatch of low conversation from the back of the class drifted up. "I think he just said something about the music club?"

Rei shook her head again. "I understand he has not done anything, Shinji. But… he just bothers me."

Kaworu's head turned in her direction, meeting her gaze for the first time. He smiled. Rei did not.

"Just bothers me…" Rei said again, very quietly.

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Maya Ibuki swallowed nervously as she walked down the empty corridor deep in the bowels of NERV HQ. It was rare she was down this deep near Terminal Dogma. She'd just arrived for the day to start her regular shift monitoring things from Central Dogma and debugging the MAGI when Doctor Akagi had called her. She had to admit, her heart had leapt when she'd heard her voice on the line. She'd worried all night after Doctor Akagi had all but forced her to go home by herself once they'd left the hospital. Doctor Akagi looked absolutely shocked by whatever the First Child had told her while Maya had been off getting her clothes back, and Maya really hadn't wanted to leave her alone looking like that. She'd had a terrible feeling her treasured sempai might do something bad, looking so depressed, shocked, and hollowed out.

'_Take care of her, Lieutenant. She needs you,'_ Pilot Ayanami had said. What was she supposed to make of that? She… adored Doctor Akagi. She was brilliant, cool, analytical, always in control of herself, and so, so beautiful. She'd tried to be the best apprentice she could, to impress her, make her notice, show her that she was good enough to be around such a wonderful person… but she'd always been afraid to truly say it to her face how Doctor Ritsuko Akagi made her feel. What if she said 'no'? What if she was disgusted by Maya's crush? What if… Maya bit her lip again. It didn't matter. She couldn't help how she felt. She'd almost panicked when she had seen her knocked flat by the chunk of concrete ceiling in the battle with Zeruel. Watching her nearly be crushed by a berserk Unit-00 had been even worse. And both times she'd found herself practically compelled to sit with her overnight in the hospital, silently praying she'd wake up and be okay. Her heart soared every time those mesmerizing green eyes fluttered open.

Maya sighed. She was so stupid. She had no idea if Doctor Akagi even _liked_ women, much less was interested in someone so small as her. Crushing on her sempai was stupid. And she'd looked like either a pervert or a dummy yesterday, running in waving her panties in the air and shouting. Although Doctor Akagi had been in such a hurry to get dressed she hadn't even shooed Maya out after she snatched her clothes out of her hands. Watching her sempai shimmy back into her underwear and skirt had been… um… very distracting. So much so that she'd probably been caught with the stunned stare still on her face when Doctor Akagi finished. The embarrassment still hadn't kept her from vividly picturing the sight again later. Repeatedly. Like right now. Um.

'_Oh, stop it, Maya. Doctor Akagi did __**not**__ ask you to come down to her private lab, immediately and __**quietly**__ so she could seduce you and spend the whole day wrapped in passionate embraces. She's a serious scientist and not full of silly lusts and fantasies! She needs you for something important!'_ she reminded herself. A tiny part of her still protested that it would be really nice if she _had_ done that.

She tapped hesitantly at the door to Doctor Akagi's private lab. She'd been down here before a few times, but this one was… different. Once she'd told Doctor Akagi yes, she was not in the middle of any vital task she couldn't put on hold, Doctor Akagi had told her to come to her private lab 'immediately and **quietly**.' That last part had been… she didn't know what to make of it. She waited a moment, then opened the lab door. "Akagi-sempai? Are you here? I came as soon as I could."

The blonde doctor was standing near some complicated looking machinery that had a strong resemblance to the healing tanks she'd seen the Pilots placed in after some of the injuries they'd suffered in battles with the Angels. This one was a bit bigger, sized for an adult, and had even more diagnostic gear surrounding the head. Doctor Akagi turned from adjusting something and nodded to Maya. "Maya? Good. I need your help for this."

"I'll do anything you need, Akagi-sempai! Anything to help you!" Maya tried not to flush at how eager she sounded, and how much that could be interpreted as a near come-on. It took an effort of will to force that line of thought away.

And then it came sailing right back when Doctor Akagi turned around and revealed she was wearing nothing but a _swimsuit_ under her lab coat. Maya fought not to drool. She forced her eyes back up to Doctor Akagi's face after they got stuck in her cleavage for a moment.

.

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She forced her eyes back up.

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She _forced _her eyes... nope, the eyes were still winning. It took Doctor Akagi clearing her throat, causing Maya's head to snap up and her face to go red before she could break the lock.

Ritsuko looked at her with eyes that had dark rings under them. She didn't say anything about Maya's staring.

Maya blinked, looking closer in concern. "Akagi-sempai... are you alright? You look..." _'Exhausted. Near-dead. Drained.'_ "Um... worn?"

"'Hungover and sick' is the term you're looking for, Maya. I had a bit too much to drink last night. I probably shouldn't have, but... I did some thinking. Anyway... 'anything'? I..." She looked back down at the apparatus behind her. "Maya... do you know why I called you down here?"

"You... you said you needed me to help you with something. Something you couldn't do alone?" Maya ventured.

Ritsuko nodded slowly, turning back to her. "Yes. I... I don't trust anyone else to ask this of. But... Maya, I want you to help me do something Commander Ikari has specifically prohibited me to do. I... you can say no. I'm not going to make you do anythi-"

"It's ok!" Maya blurted. "I... I know you won't do anything bad, sempai! Commander Ikari must be wrong!"

For some reason, Ritsuko winced and looked at her hands. "...right. I... Maya, you don't even..." She shook herself. She reached up to touch the ring of bandages still wrapped around her head. "You know how badly hurt I've been. You were there in the hospital both times. Th... thank you for that, by the way. But I... In any regular place I'd be on bed rest for at least a week or three with these injuries. But Commander Ikari needs me... to work. So... I've developed this LCL-boosted healing procedure. We've used it on the Pilots before. Shinji after he was burned by Ramiel, Rei after this last battle... but I'm the only one who knows it well enough to operate it, so Commander Ikari has declared it classified past the point of civilian use and prohibited me from attempting to use it on myself."

Maya looked from Doctor Akagi's bandages to the tank-bed behind her. "...A-and you want to do it anyway, and.. want me to help?"

Ritsuko nodded slowly. "I... you've been there when I was hurt and when I woke up. You know... how bad it is. How hurt I am. And... I'm asking you to disobey an order from NERV's Supreme Commander, I know, but-"

"I'll do it!" Maya interrupted her again. She covered her mouth with her hands. "I... I... um... I... couldn't stand to just sit and watch when you were hurt, Akagi-sempai. I... I wanted so much to help you. If... if this helps heal you, then... I can do it. I will do it. No matter what Commander Ikari says. I... just... am I qualified to do this? I'm not a doctor like you are, I'm just an assistant. I can barely do half the things you do with the MAGI, and not even a third the speed. This is... I..." Maya looked back at her senior. "I... I want to help you, but if you're the only one who knows how to do this..."

Doctor Akagi again looked like she wanted to run away. "I don't deserve..." she muttered. She looked Maya in the eyes again. "I've laid out the procedure on the computer linked to the tank. And I'll be conscious for 90% of it. I'll be guiding you through it. I... this should accelerate my healing by weeks. I'll be... a lot better off. Thank you for... being willing to do this, Maya. I..." Doctor Akagi turned away and began tapping at the controls of the tank. "I don't know how to thank you."

Maya closed the gap between them, walking right up behind her. She raised a hand to place it on Doctor Akagi's shoulder, but hesitated... then pulled the hand back. "Akagi-sempai, I... you are... I..."

"Thank you for saving me yesterday," Ritsuko said abruptly. "I... if you hadn't slapped me, I would have just... stood there. It was too much like a nightmare."

"It's nothing!" Maya said. This time her hand made contact with Doctor Akagi's shoulder. "I... couldn't let you be hurt! I... you... um..."

Maya almost jumped when Doctor Akagi's hand rose to cover hers for a moment. "Thank you, Maya. For everything."

Maya fought not to swallow nervously as Doctor Akagi turned around. She was so close...

"Why are you doing this?" Doctor Akagi asked.

Maya blinked again. "What?"

"I just told you this is against the specific orders of Commander Ikari. Why... why are you agreeing to do this?" Doctor Akagi's eyes searched hers intently.

Maya fought not to look away. She could feel the blush creeping its way up from her uniform's collar. "I... I... you need me to... to help you," Maya stuttered. "I... you... I had to! I... you're... my, my sempai!"

Doctor Akagi's searching look intensified. "Your sempai. Is that... the only reason?" she asked quietly.

Maya felt her pulse skyrocket. Her throat suddenly dried up and she couldn't meet the other woman's eyes. "I... I..."

"Maya, I'm neither blind nor stupid. I... I know." Ritsuko said softly. "And... I... am not who you think I am. I don't deserve someone like you. But... I'm glad you... you..." She coughed and looked away. "I'm glad you are here. I... I may never be... who you think I am, but... thank you for... believing I am. You don't even know how much I appreciate it. You've saved me twice already."

Maya gaped, trying to come up with a response. _'She...she __**knows**__?!' "_A-A-Akagi-sempai, I..." She flailed her hands helplessly, unsure whether she should even try denying it, or admit it, or... anything.

Doctor Akagi just smiled sadly again and shook her head. "We'll talk afterwards. This will take a couple of hours at minimum. For now, sit down and let me walk you through the procedure on a dry run first." She waved Maya towards the computer station next to the tank, the screen already set.

Still burning red with embarrassment, Maya took a seat. But this time she didn't jump when Doctor Akagi put her hand on her shoulder.

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Asuka practically bounced out of her chair once the bell sounded for lunch, Shinji following close behind. Asuka had a broad grin on her face as she made a beeline for Hikari's desk. Even though she was closer, Touji managed to arrive first, nearly bowling a couple of slower students out of the way as he zoomed right to his smiling girlfriend's side.

Asuka snorted as she took in the tight handclasp the two had already snapped into. "Been missing your boytoy, Hikari?"

"You have no _idea_, Asuka." Hikari looked at Shinji right behind her. "Or maybe you do. You owe me some stories, girlfriend. You and Ikari-kun for _months_, hmm?" She gave Asuka a raised eyebrow. "How come you didn't tell me?"

Asuka made a placating gesture. "We had reasons to keep it secret, I promise. But we're public now. You missed us announcing it to the whole school Monday." She gave a short laugh. "Just like you just announced you and Osaka-boy here to anyone in the class that didn't know already."

Hikari blushed a little at the reminder. "I missed him," she muttered.

"How did you get out of the hospital, Class Rep? Asuka was on the verge of organizing a Pilots' rescue mission for you this afternoon," Shinji asked.

Hikari shrugged. "I don't know why, but this morning, right after breakfast, Doctor Akagi just came in and said I could go and that she'd call me back in for tests as needed. She seemed pretty intent on getting me out the door in a hurry, actually. My father and sisters won't be home until this afternoon, so I left a message for father and came straight here."

"_Really_ missed the boytoy," Asuka said dryly to Shinji. Hikari ducked her head and blushed more, but could hardly deny how it looked.

She raised her head back up, brightening. "So, boy talk over lunch? Or couples' meet? You… I am pretty sure I remember seeing that…" Her voice dropped. "That you and Ikari-kun are… are you really _sleeping together_?!" she almost whispered.

Asuka laughed and looked at Shinji, who was laughing too. "And I thought my dear baka and I were in synch. That is almost exactly what Suzuhara said to us a couple days ago, verbatim." Asuka held up her bento. "Come on, let's go find a spot to eat lunch. We'll tell you why we had to hide things and where we stand now."

As they filed out the front door of the classroom, Shinji suddenly looked back. "Hey… where did Rei go?"

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Even on the campus of Tokyo-3 North Municipal Middle School there were isolated spots of greenery. The tree-shaded lunch table near the back of campus was at the edge of a grove of trees that would have made a modest park out in the city. On the grounds of the school, they formed a nice, somewhat isolated area out of sight from most of the main buildings and teachers, making it a popular spot for private lunches amongst the schools couples… or a decent spot for an interrogation.

Rei hadn't had to do anything more than follow the new student. He seemed headed this way all on his own, for whatever reason. And regardless of why, once he was under the shade of the trees, looking around with a slight smile and humming some melody she thought she'd heard Shinji play on his cello before, Rei decided it was time to strike.

She pitched her voice low, intending it just for his ears. It came out in a tone as cold and hard as she had once aimed at Shinji when he questioned his father's competence. "Stop."

Nagisa halted his slow amble through the trees, turning to face her. He did not seem surprised at all, merely smiling amusedly at her. "Music is wonderful, isn't it? Singing brings joy and revitalizes the human soul. I think song is the highest achievement of the Lilim culture. Don't you agree?"

Rei stared at him hard. "Who are you?"

His slight smile grew a little wider. "Ah? I thought I had introduced myself in the classroom. I am Kaworu Nagisa." He swept her a small bow. Straightening up, he continued, "The Fifth Child." He tilted his head, eyeing her. "You are the First Child, Rei Ayanami-san? You are just like me. So, both of us ended up in the same form as the Lilim while we inhabit this planet."

Rei's stare got colder. "Who _are_ you? Why is your light… different? I cannot see you like everyone else."

"I am just like you. I have been sent here to Pilot an Evangelion." He broke the stare with her and looked up at the sun-dappled trees around them. "This is a marvelous city. It is so full of life and interesting people." He looked back at Rei, still smiling. "I am very interested in the Third Child. He has… such a pure heart. And the Second Child was with him? Even more interesting. I think I want to meet this Shinji Ikari..."

Rei's voice was cold as ice now. "You will stay away from them."

Nagisa's eyebrows went up a little. "Stay away? Why should I do that? We are all the designated Children, are we not? And I want to see him closer. You should not interfere with me. There are parties that would become quite angry with you, or them if you did. Something might happen to them."

Rei felt her skin prickle as her hair stood on end. "You will _not_ harm them! I will not permit it!" she growled. She could feel her power thrumming through her. Her hands began to curl into claws and her uniform skirt began to ruffle despite the lack of wind. A red glow began to shine through her narrowed eyes.

Nagisa blinked at took a step back. "Be calm, First Child. I mean them no harm. My interest in Shinji Ikari is over his pure heart and key place in these events. He is… a fascinating example of the power of the human heart. I wish to know his heart, to learn his feelings. I thought he would be so sad, alone. I want to understand how he endured it. But he is not. Man can never completely erase this sadness, because all men are fundamentally alone."

"His heart is not for you to play with. He is not a toy, or a doll. His heart belongs to Asuka, and those that love him. I will not allow you to imperil that, or inflict pain upon them," Rei warned, her voice still low and hostile. The glow from her eyes eased, but did not vanish.

Nagisa stepped nearer, still smiling. "Pain is something that man must endure in his heart. And since the heart feels pain so easily some believe life is pain. People can be delicate like glass, that is, their hearts can be." He cocked his head and looked at Rei inquisitively. "Do you feel such pain?"

Rei nodded coolly. "Every moment of my existence. But I have found reasons to live, and face that pain. The rewards are worth every second of pain. All of it is worth it."

Nagisa seemed honestly curious. "What is?"

Rei raised her chin. "Their love. For each other and for me. I have told them of my feelings and they did not reject me. Even I can be loved."

Nagisa's eyebrows rose. "Even you? Do they know what you are, like me?"

Rei hesitated. "They do not. But I am not afraid to tell them. We were going to talk today, and I intend to tell them. I have no fear of being honest with them. They will still care for me, and I for them." Her eyes narrowed again. "You would be wise to remember and fear that. I will protect them, from you or anyone."

Kaworu's smile faded away. "If you truly wish to do so, then you will tell them nothing."

Rei's eyes narrowed further and her lips flattened into a line. "Explain. Rapidly."

Kaworu looked off into the sky, away from her, his face now calm and flat. "The parties I mentioned? They do not want knowledge of you or I spreading, lest it interfere with their plans. They have killed for less. Telling your… friends what you are is the sort of thing they erase people for. If you wish to protect them, you cannot let them know. Those who seek to become the new gods of the Lilim will allow no leaks that might imperil their plan."

Rei bristled, and had to fight down the impulse to attack him. "And you?" she said, low and dangerous. "Will you help them do that? Who do you obey? SEELE?"

"They think I am theirs. That is why they sent me," he said, his smile faintly returning.

"Are you?"

"By my own will, I will not harm them at all. But if you want to protect them, you can tell them nothing of us, our natures, or the plans of SEELE and NERV. That is the kind of knowledge they kill for."

Rei glared at him like she wanted to set him on fire. "I want to tell them. They are my friends, the ones I fight for and beside. I want to be true and honest with those I love. You cannot understand how important this is to me."

"Even to risk their lives over it? This 'love' must be truly powerful." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "This body has been producing some interesting and intense drives to explore. Perhaps I should 'love' Shinji too? Or them both, you say?"

**~WHAP~**

The Fifth Child bounced hard off the oak tree, flying another few feet before skidding to a stop in an untidy heap of limbs on the grass near the lunch table. He sat up unsteadily after a moment, a blazing red handprint on his left cheek. "…ow?"

Rei stared at her right hand. She never made her body move so fast before. There hadn't been even a second of thought, just the sudden urge to slap him until he stopped saying such rage-inducing things. _'Those are MY loves, you invader! MINE! AWAY! HISSSSSSSS~!' _

Nagisa touched his cheek gingerly. "Yes, ow. Ow is the word." He struggled to his feet, shaking his head dizzily. He focused on her after some difficulty. "Did I say something wrong?"

He focused a little better when Rei grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked his face close to hers. "You will not touch them! Their bond is the most beautiful thing in this world!" she almost shouted right in his face. "They love me and I them, and even _I_ will not risk disrupting it! You will not 'love' them! You will do _nothing_ that might disrupt it! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" She shook him like a rat in a terrier's mouth.

"I ow! I ow! I ow! I understand!" Nagisa said, eyes spinning under Rei's onslaught. "M-may I at least be permitted to speak to them? We are to be Pilots together. It would be odd if I did not."

Rei let go of his shirt, letting him fall back onto the ground. Nagisa crumpled, his second awkward landing ending with him staring up at Rei. Backlit by the midday sun, eyes still glowing faintly, glaring down at her prey, Nagisa couldn't help but gape in awe at the angry goddess looming over him.

_'His wide-eyed stare is a pleasing display of fear and respect,'_ Rei thought. _'And his red eyes make a pleasant compliment to the handprint._' Relenting slightly, she nodded. "Under escort. Come. You may join us briefly for the remainder of lunch."

She turned and began walking away, back towards the building where they usually ate lunch on the roof.

Nagisa sat staring for a long moment before he rose to follow her. He touched the slap mark on his face and winced. "…love is even more powerful than I thought. And dangerous. Intriguing," he said to himself, following the bluenette.

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Author's Note: I've decided to try a little different approach for the next little while: More frequent, but smaller updates. I've been doing well on producing segments here, so hopefully I can put out a 3-6000 word update every couple of weeks if I'm lucky. I'd like your thoughts on the idea, too: I can stay with the few, large updates every month or two, or try to keep up with small, more frequent ones. Which do you all prefer?


	27. Ch 25 - Everything I Do Pt 2

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 9.2

**Everything I Do...**

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"So that's where we are now. Misato's said she'll give us an answer 'soon', but we're going to talk to her tonight. We can't stand it anymore," Asuka finished. At Touji's blush she shot him a dirty look. "Not sex, you perv, just being able to hold each other at night. We've both started having nightmares again. We don't when we're together."

Hikari nodded, sighing, a mix of happy romance and tired consideration in the sound. "I… understand what you're saying, but you're still really young for um… being so adult. I-I mean on both fronts. If I hadn't gotten to see just how you and Ikari-kun feel about each other I'd probably agree with Major Katsuragi. But since I _did_… I have to agree with you."

Asuka sighed herself and took another bite of her lunch. "Thanks, Hikari. I may try to call you in as a 'supporting witness' if Misato tries to say no. She knows you're responsible and stuff, so hopefully she'll listen when you tell her that." Asuka chewed for a moment, then looked at Shinji when he stirred next to her.

"What… what _did_ we ah… 'look like' when that happened, Class Rep?" Shinji asked hesitantly. He was blushing slightly. "I know you er… 'saw' us um… 'being together', but what else did you see?"

Hikari colored at the reminder. "W-well, um… _besides_ that stuff it was… not really a visual thing. It was… more like just a… a… strong _feeling_, like a stream of emotions and impressions that you two had about each other. It was like… being under a waterfall, a steady, pressing flow that just felt…" She closed her eyes, trying to force it into words. "Like someone repeating 'Love Lust Joy Happiness Trust Comfort, Love Lust Joy Happiness Trust Comfort' over and over. I was… um…" She got redder and shot a look sideways at Touji, who looked at her curiously. Her voice shrank in embarrassment as she spoke, but didn't let go of Touji's hand. "I was really envious. I… wanted something like that."

Asuka looked at Shinji, who just smiled and squeezed her hand. "Yeah, it... pretty much feels like that," he said.

Everyone started in surprise when the door to the stairs slammed open and a visibly tense and upset Rei Ayanami arrived to join the group.

Shinji blinked in confusion. _'I am not seeing this, because it is impossible. Rei does not get __**angry**__ and __**stomp**__ around. I must be mistaken.'_

Rei stalked over and sat across from the two couples. She began silently unwrapping her bento without meeting anyone's eyes.

Shinji shot another look at Asuka. She nodded minutely, indicating she'd also noticed Rei's unusual behavior.

Asuka lightly cleared her throat. "Ah… Rei? Everything alright?"

Rei looked up, a tiny frown on her lips. "No."

Before she could say anything else, the door to the stairs swung open again, more sedately this time. The grey-haired new student poked his head out. He smiled on sighting their group, and walked over.

Shinji stared in increasing confusion at the blazing red handprint on his cheek. He looked at Rei, looked at the handprint, and looked back to Rei again. _'Nope. I must be wrong. Rei did not drag the new transfer student off somewhere and slap him. Not our Rei. That… can't be it.'_

Nagisa sat down to Rei's left, less 'near her' than 'as far from Shinji and Asuka as possible'. It still left them with a rough triangle of three pairs facing each other.

Shinji shared an even more confused look with Asuka before turning back to Rei. "Ah… Rei?" he began before sort of trailing off, unsure how to phrase 'did you just slap the new kid?' to his usually utterly calm friend.

Rei did not meet his eyes, poking at her lunch. "Nagisa-san and I had a talk. He is the Fifth Child," she said.

Everyone's eyebrows rose. "Ah… congratulations?" Touji said hesitantly. "Welcome to the team? I'm Touji Suzuhara."

"Thank you," Nagisa said pleasantly. "It is a pleasure to meet you all, and most exciting to be here. I have heard so much about Tokyo-3."

"Where are you coming from, if you don't mind me asking, Nagisa-san?" Hikari inquired.

"I was most recently with NERV-03 in Berlin. And please, call me Kaworu, everyone."

Asuka's mouth opened and closed. "The… Fifth Child. Huh." She shot Shinji a look that said 'more later'. "So…" She glanced for a moment at Touji, theoretically not cleared for discussing NERV matters, but shrugged. Boyfriend of one Pilot and close buddy to another, he'd hear everything one way or another. It wasn't like the Angels had human spies. "Do you know why you're here now, Fifth Child? We've got two working Evangelions right now, and more Pilots than seats. Now that Hikari's out of that quarantine, she's got Unit-03 back, Rei's got Unit-00, and once Unit-01 and Unit-02 are repaired, that's Shinji and I. So what are you supposed to do? Are we getting Unit-05 in or something?"

"Um, actually, I'm not 100% back, Asuka," Hikari answered. "When Doctor Akagi let me out of the hospital, she said I was released from the quarantine, but not back on the active list until they cleared me. So I guess Nagisa-san will be taking Unit-03?"

Asuka looked unhappy. "I'd rather have you, Hikari. No offense, new fish, but she's my friend," she told Nagisa.

"It is quite alright, Miss Soryu. Of course you would like to be with your friends," Nagisa said amiably. "It is very good to enjoy the company of friends, is it not?" His eyes slid across her handclasp with Shinji. "The bonds of human hearts are very strong indeed."

Rei scowled faintly.

Asuka frowned a bit. "Ah. Yes. So I guess that means you'll be in Unit-03, then. You're sure not getting in Unit-02 or Unit-01."

"Why is that?"

This time Hikari was included in the shared look. _'What do we say? 'Because we're all but certain our mothers are in there'? Can we say that to the new Pilot? We don't even know him,'_ Shinji thought. "Our Evangelions are… very specifically tuned to each of us," Shinji tried. "It's kind of surprising that even the both of us together can operate Unit-03 when it's meant for the Class Rep."

Before anything else could be said, the door to the stairs swung open again. Kensuke emerged, followed closely by the same two girls he'd been having lunch with earlier that week. Shinji held in a smile as they approached. Asuka and Rei had acquired imitators. Kyoko and Sayaka had taken to tinting their hair red and blue respectively, even before they had started hanging around with Kensuke. They were the first, but no longer the only girls in school starting to color their hair to the limit the school rules allowed.

Kensuke grinned on sighting Shinji. "Hey, Shinji!" He walked over, pulling out his wallet. "I got paid for some part-time stuff I did, so I can repay you that loan now. I've got to run after, though. Lunch date with Sakura-san and Miki-san."

Shinji accepted the 10000 yen from him, but gestured with his head at the two girls. "Ah, Kensuke… weren't you having lunch with them on Tuesday? I thought you…er… had a packed schedule?"

Kensuke smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "Ah, yeah, I did have lunch with them on Tuesday. They um… decided they wanted more time with me, so combined their separate dates into two joint ones. I um… might be cancelling the other dates next week so I can um… stay with them."

Asuka stared at him liked he'd grown an extra head. "'Them'? Plural? You… you're dating _both_ of them?"

Kensuke looked back over his shoulder at the girls. Sayaka winked at him. He looked back to his friends. "I think it's more like they're dating me. They agreed they could share since they've been friends since they were tiny. Then they told me. I uh… couldn't think of any good objections."

Shinji tried to process this. "So you're… cancelling on all the other girls who've been lining up to date you, so you can… spend time with your _two _girlfriends?"

Kensuke nodded, looking almost guilty. "I feel kind of bad, since some of the girls have been waiting weeks for their turn, but… I… um… I like Sayaka and Kyoko. Sayaka's dad is even in the JSSDF, and is going to take us to a real firing range next weekend! I think he approves of me."

Asuka looked at the two girls. "And the two of you sharing Geek-Stooge is _your idea_?" she asked them.

Sayaka nodded with a grin. Kyoko looked a bit annoyed. "Hey, don't call our Ken-chan that! He's been a perfect gentleman and a sweetie!" She stepped closer to take Kensuke's hand. Sayaka matched her on his other side.

"It's fine, Sakura-san," Touji laughed. "Look at the rest of us: Membership in the Stooges is an elite club! We get to be with the best ladies in school." He gave Hikari a hug against his side, causing her to blush.

Asuka turned her head to stare at Shinji. "Kensuke Aida has two girlfriends. And it's _their_ idea. And he's cancelling on a bunch more girls for them. I want off this planet, Shinji. It's clearly gone _nuts_."

"That is most encouraging to hear, Kensuke," Rei said quietly, a small smile on her lips. "I am very glad for you."

Kyoko bowed briefly to her. "Thank you for telling us how nice he was, Ayanami-san. We'd never have known, since he's so quiet." She shifted her look to Asuka. "Or ever thought of sharing him without your example, Soryu-san."

Asuka stared at her. "My example," she repeated without inflection.

"The way you and Ayanami-san can share Ikari-san like that."

Asuka jaw dropped. "I-… we-…. I am _not _sharing Shinji with Rei! I am not sharing Rei with Shinji! We are not all dating!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe that rumor keeps going!"

"You're not?" Sayaka said, surprised. She looked at Shinji and Asuka's handclasp, Hikari and Touji's, and then looked at Rei sitting beside Kaworu Nagisa. "I… _ohhhhhh_. I see. I… wow. Didn't you just meet today, Ayanami-san?"

Rei stared at her blankly. "…Yes? I do not understand your question."

Sayaka pointed at the three pairs in sequence. "Aren't you all sitting with your boyfriends?"

Rei looked blankly at her for another moment. A look of almost horrified indignation slowly blossomed on her face. "I… he is _not_ my boyfriend!"

"He's not? I just thought you… um… s-sorry!" Sayaka apologized.

Nagisa turned to face the girls more directly, the bright red handprint on his cheek only now visible to them. "Oh, Ayanami-san and I only just met today, though I'd heard of her before. She and I are not a couple." He smiled politely at them.

Sayaka and Kyoko stared at his cheek in surprise. "Uh… I see," Kyoko managed. "Did… did you say something to upset her?"

"Yes," the Fifth Child agreed, and did not elaborate.

"Er… um, well, I hope you all get along in the future," Sayaka offered awkwardly. "Sh-shall we go, Ken-chan?"

"Um…. Yeah. See you later, everyone?" Kensuke nodded to his friends. He and the girls beat a hasty retreat when the group waved farewell.

Once they'd gone Asuka finally managed to close her mouth, left hanging open in shock. "…..Rei?" she finally managed to ask her friend.

"I do not wish to talk about it right now," Rei muttered into her lunch.

Everyone's eyes shifted to Nagisa. He smiled. "Ayanami-san did not like something I said about something dear to her. I will be more careful in what I say in the future. It is alright."

"Good. And if you wish to have any lunch, you need to go acquire some. The school store and cafeteria both close in 8 minutes," Rei said coldly, not looking at him. "I suggest you go."

"Ah? I suppose I should, then." Nagisa stood up and bowed briefly to the group. "It was a pleasure to meet you, fellow Children. If I do not make it back before the end of lunch, I'm sure we can talk after class."

Asuka watched him carefully as he walked to the stairs and disappeared. She snapped her head back to Rei the moment he was out of sight. "You _slapped _him?"

Rei looked embarrassed. "I still do not wish to discuss it."

Asuka just gave her a _look_.

Rei squirmed. "He... suggested he might attempt to interfere with you and Shinji. I... rebuked him," she admitted.

"'Rebuked him', hmm?" Asuka almost laughed, suddenly grinning. "Thanks, Rei."

"Rei, you shouldn't do that, no matter what he said," Hikari said, her Class Rep reflexes provoked. "Especially to a new arrival!"

"I am sorry," Rei said, her head still low. "I did not think. But Shinji and Asuka's lo- relationship is of great importance to me. I refused to let him even suggest interfering with them. I-..." She worked her mouth like she wanted to say more, but fell silent.

Hikari looked unhappy, but nodded. "Since he doesn't seem upset, I'll let it go, but you have to control yourself, Rei. Didn't your parents teach you about self-control?"

"No."

Asuka and Shinji shared another look. She looked to Touji. "Speaking of... it's just you, your sister, and your father at home, right, Suzuhara?"

He nodded, looking a bit confused. "Uh, yeah. Why?"

"Hikari is just her, her sisters, and her father. Kensuke has just his dad. Shinji has just his dad. I've got a _step_-mother... Rei..." She looked at the First Child. "No mother or father, right?"

Rei nodded. "Correct."

"And as far as I can tell, _no one_ in our class has a living mother. And no less than _four_ one-in-a-billion Pilots were here, and now they've added a Fifth. I'm willing to bet if we asked him, Nagisa there doesn't have a mom either. You think that's a coincidence?"

Touji and Hikari both went pale. They looked at each other, then the other Children. "I... I... d-did... did they..." Hikari stammered. "Did they... I mean...are we Children because our mothers are dead, or... did NERV... arrange that?"

Asuka's mouth flattened into a grim line. "I don't know. What I do know is I was at NERV Berlin for almost 10 years, and I was the _only_ Child that whole time. I'm gone 5 months, and suddenly they find the Fifth Child? Right after they just happen to find you here, in our class? I don't believe in that much coincidence. And..." She took a deep breath. She pinned Touji with a firm, intent stare. "Stooge, I'm going to tell you this because Hikari likes you, I think she's told you some of what she knows, and I think she's going to need you. But _do not_ talk about this to _anyone_ else, clear? This is... this is some serious shit."

Touji swallowed, but nodded. He scooted closer to Hikari and put his arm around her.

"Shinji and I, and Misato too, are now convinced that our mothers are somehow in our Eva's Cores. That's why they work for us. Unit-03 only worked for us because you were in there to make a link, Hikari, and because..." Asuka paused. "...because when we intentionally tried to communicate with her this time, we're pretty sure your mother answered us. She...asked about you. Or at least, that's the feeling we got. It was... a bit impressionistic."

Hikari was still as a statue. "M...mother? Y-you talked to... my mother? I..." she raised a shaking hand and looked at it. "I... I... I thought it was a dream. When she... talked to me, in there. I... she's really in there?"

Shinji nodded in synch with Asuka. "She... answered positively when we asked if she was your mom. We told her we'd... talk to you. And once Unit-01 and Unit-02 are repaired, we're going to try talking to our mothers." He looked at Rei. "Rei, have you... felt anything in Unit-00?"

Rei looked... worried? Shinji blinked, trying to understand.

"I... cannot talk about it. She is... angry. She... the berserker event yesterday... that was... I cannot talk about it," Rei said, hushed. "Please... do not speak of this where anyone could hear. It is... dangerous."

Shinji's eyes got wide. He looked at Asuka. She appeared just as shocked. He hesitated, and tried again. "Rei... do you know more?"

She shook her head, darting a worried look at the stairs. "Do not discuss it. Even knowing is dangerous. I... I want to protect you both. This..." She shook her head again. He'd never seen Rei this worried.

"Dangerous? From wh-..." Shinji's eyes narrowed. "My father. Of course." His hand curled into a fist.

But Rei shook her head. "More than him. Never let anyone know," she almost whispered.

"That... 'committee' that questioned me," Asuka suddenly said in a low voice. "The men Commander Asshole reports to. They... shit..." She looked at Shinji. "We need to talk to Misato, right after school."

Rei looked more worried. "I... I must protect you. Please..."

Asuka reached over to touch her hand. "It's alright, Rei. We'll... keep it quiet." She looked at Hikari and Touji. They both nodded nervously.

Rei looked pained. "I... I want to tell you everything, Asuka. But... it endangers you to know these things, or any more. So I... cannot. Please be safe," she almost begged. "I... I can be replaced. You and Shinji... are too important to me."

"No one could replace you, Rei," Asuka smiled at her, and squeezed her hand before sitting back. "But I get that this is... dangerous stuff. We'll let Misato handle the stuff we shouldn't talk about."

The bell rang to signal the end of lunch. Shinji looked at the stair door. "Looks like our new Child didn't make it in time to get back. I guess we'll see him later."

Rei's stare was hard. "He will mind his manners. I do not trust him."

.

XXX

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* * *

Dinner at her place. A talk that went better than she could have ever thought. A night of impossible passion. And now the bright morning and the light at the end of the dream. Ritsuko reveled in the delicious warmth of waking up next to someone who wanted to be there, be with her. Maya looked even better than she'd pictured that dark night, lying next to her, looking thoroughly tousled. She reached over with a gentle smile to run her fingers through Ritsuko's hair again. Ritsuko closed her eyes and almost purred at the sheer sensual bliss of feeling Maya's slender, dainty fingers gently trace along her sensitive temple, over and over. She was just giving some thought to reaching for Maya herself and pulling her close when the younger woman spoke.

"Waprodure wiz mon, gagagempi. Uuuoke?"

Ritsuko blinked in confusion. "Wha?" she mumbled.

Her bed vanished, and she was drifting in orange, watery space. "Can you hear me? The procedure is done, Akagi-sempai. Is everything ok?" Maya voice said, a little louder.

Consciousness fluttered back in slowly. Despite the fuzziness, it was still a gentler and more pain-free one than she'd had for weeks, so Ritsuko couldn't help but luxuriate in it. She felt dozens of times better than she had when she'd laid down in the tank. Her head wasn't pounding from a skull fracture, her arm didn't ache from the break, her vertebrae weren't individually screaming their discomfort at her… everything was better.

'_Dinner, intimate talk, passionate sex, and waking up in her arms? Did you just have a __**romance **__dream about her? Oh come on, this is ridiculous. Are you __**trying **__to torture yourself? Alright, time to prove you're really the mature, in-control-of-herself logical woman of science and rationality you keep saying you are, Ritsuko Akagi. Time to get a grip on yourself, calm down, and __**wipe that stupid grin off your face**__.'_

She couldn't help it. The smile wouldn't go away. Before she was fully conscious, before she even took full stock of her vastly improved health, she felt it. She might have been expecting it, hoping for it… but it being there still brought an uncontrollable smile to her lips.

She could feel Maya's hand in hers.

'_You are __**ridiculously **__emotionally vulnerable after nearly getting killed yesterday and then nearly killing __**yourself **__last night. You __**know **__Maya has a raging crush on you, and that you are flailing, looking for anything to help you feel less miserable after the last 24 hours. You __**know **__it is a really, really stupid idea to dive right into anything even approaching a new relationship right now. You should not be thinking about anything but calmly and rationally telling her you'll talk about this later, when you're not suddenly feeling so good for the first time in weeks that you might jump off this pallet and start dancing with her.'_

'…_..I bet Maya's a completely adorkable dancer.'_

She squeezed the hand. It squeezed back. She smiled wider.

"Maya, I told you, we have to stop doing this. This is the third time I've woken up after medical procedures holding your hand. I'd really like to avoid the 'getting hospitalized' part," she said dryly.

She could practically _hear_ Maya blush. "I… mumble mumble mumble..." Maya said indistinctly.

"What?"

"….it would have been the fourth time, but we were still coordinating the cleanup after the 13th Angel when you woke up," Maya said, only slightly louder.

Ritsuko slowly opened her eyes. Her smile edged up another notch when she immediately saw what she'd been hoping and expecting to see: Maya smiling at her, albeit with a blush. "You were keeping tabs on me?"

"I… I was worried." Maya intently stared at their hands, but didn't let go.

'_Stop trying to figure out how to ask her to dinner at your apartment, damn it.'_Ritsuko castigated herself. _'You need to talk to her about this rationally, not spend the evening exchanging glances over candlelight, or wondering how she'd react if you asked her if she wanted to have __**breakfast **__at your place. And stop associating 'I feel so much better and happier' with 'being around Maya'. That's… cheating, somehow. And it's far too seductively addictive.'_

"Never felt that way around _him_, either..." she muttered. She forced herself to remember what else she'd summoned Maya down here for.

She squeezed Maya's hand one more time and sat up. The LCL-coated platform felt slick and warm beneath her, rivulets of the orange fluid dribbling down her body as she rose, clinging to every curve so well displayed by the swimsuit she wore. She could tell it was well displayed, since Maya couldn't take her eyes off it. Ritsuko used the distraction to carefully choose her next words.

"Alright, here we are. I feel much better. Thank you, Maya."

Maya snapped her eyes up, looking a bit embarrassed to have been caught staring again. "Eh? I-I-I… Y-you're welcome."

Ritsuko sighed and looked at her. "But there are things we need to talk about." She kept going, ignoring Maya's stiffening. "Yes, I know. I've known for months. I've been trying to ignore it because… several reasons, starting with the fact I thought I was into someone else and didn't want to… encourage you."

Maya looked surprised and a little worried. "S-someone else?" After a moment she asked a bit more hopefully, "A-and… 'was'?"

"You think I'm some wonderful paragon of intellect and science, don't you?"

"I do. Y-you're amazing, Akagi-sempai!"

"Well, I'm not. I'm very smart, but that just means I'm that much better at lying to myself and making myself believe what I think I want to believe. I thought this person was what I wanted. Turns out they're just an even better liar than I am. But I wanted to believe…" She shook her head. "Do you know why I told you to let me go home alone last night, Maya?"

Lieutenant Ibuki shook her head. "I… no. I didn't want to. You looked terrible."

"Rei had just told me… something upsetting. Not her fault, just… something that had been concealed from me. I went home and got very drunk to avoid thinking about it. It didn't work, either. I just thought about it all night. Then I nearly did something stupid. Luckily, I talked myself out of it and called someone instead. I told you to let me go home alone because I needed to be alone for a bit, and I didn't want you to see me… like that. You look at me… you don't know who I really am, the things that I've done. You would be disgusted if you did. I didn't… want to lose that look from you, so I…" Ritsuko waved her hand vaguely. "I… hid it away, like I've done with all my sins. But… it was thinking of that look, that bright way you regard me even though I don't deserve it… that's what got me through last night. So… I…" Ritsuko pursed her lips, searching for words. "I wanted to at least tell you that I knew, and thank you for it."

Maya fidgeted, unsure of how to take this. She looked down at where she was still holding Ritsuko's hand. "I… thank you? You're welcome? I… I don't know what to say… but you do deserve it. You… you give so much to NERV, to Project E… you've given more than I ever could hope to match to NERV's mission to protect humanity. You're… brilliant and strong and beautiful and and… I… I can't help how I feel about you, Akagi-sempai. You _do_deserve me!" Maya's eyes went wide and she realized what she's just said. "I mean it! It! You deserve it!"

Ritsuko seemed to ignore her flailing. "Strong?" she said sadly. "Brilliant? Ha. NERV's Mission…" Ritsuko looked away. "The lowest circle of Hell…" she trailed off and turned her face away. After a moment, she looked back, meeting Maya's eyes. "Maya… What if I told you I was a horrible person, a pathetic liar trying and failing not to be the stupid, blind fool her mother was, and failing at every step? A twisted, dishonest bitch who stabbed her best friend in the back and betrayed everyone she knew for… for a lie? A useless waste the world would be better off without? A witch, a criminal, and a traitor to everything good? Would you still… would I still be… the one you… admire?"

Maya shook her head in refusal. "But you're not. You're not any of those things. You're… I want to help you! Any way I can, like I did today! I know you're not some horrible traitor! You're… you're the one I…" Maya reddened and looked down at their hands again. "I… I want to… be with," she managed to force out in a whisper. "S-since you know already."

Ritsuko just waited until she raised her head again, giving her a cool, uncertain stare. "I truly don't deserve you, Maya. But I might… need you. I _am_ all those things… but you make me hope that… maybe I can be something better. And that one day I might be good enough to deserve it." She raised their joined hands to her face, and gently brushed Maya's fingertips across her cheek.

She slowly let go of Maya's hand and stood up, walking over to the larger MAGI workstation at the wall of the lab. "You know the MAGI monitor all public lines in the city, and every part of the Geofront, yes?"

Maya nodded, trailing behind her. Her hands still practically tingled at that one, brief touch to Ritsuko's skin. "Y-yes?" she asked, struggling to swallow against a suddenly dry throat.

"They don't in here. I've told them to ignore this room and a few other places. So what I may tell you won't set off any alarms that way." She tapped at the keyboard, verifying the MAGI's surveillance of the lab was deactivated.

"….why?" Maya asked, sounding a bit worried at the apparently abrupt change of topic. "You know I will keep any secrets you tell me, Akagi-sempai."

"Maya… you can call me Ritsuko, if you want. When we're alone…" Ritsuko interrupted, almost shyly. "You've… more than earned it. And… I think you want to. I… I'd like it if you did." She resolutely faced the screen, her face hidden from Maya.

Maya almost froze halfway to the chair next to her. "I… I do," she gulped.

Ritsuko just nodded. "I… I meant it when I said I need you. I… want to ask your help again. But… more than what we did today. I… even telling you is… dangerous, though. I want to ask a lot of you, and I don't know if I have the right. All those terrible things I mentioned? They're the kind of thing that takes a lot to atone for. I want to ask you to help me, but… I can't… I can understand if after this you never want me anywhere near you again, and run as far from here as you can."

Maya sat down heavily on the chair, her legs suddenly too weak to hold her up any longer. "And… and what if I say I… I don't care. That I still want to help you and…stay with you?" she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

Ritsuko finally turned to face her again, her face a mask. "….this is… there's no turning back after this, Maya. I…" her eyes dropped to the floor, and she turned her face partly away. "We… we could just… go have lunch, and talk about… what I know. We could just… put this off. Or you could... just leave. I don't have to risk you like this. You make me _want_ to be better, to deserve to be... cared for, but you don't have to-"

"I want to!" Maya interrupted. "I... I want to... be with you. You need me, and... I want to be there."

Ritsuko stared at her, tiny ripples of expression flickering just below the surface of her poker face. "I hope I can earn you…" she said quietly.

'_Don't do it. Don't do it. You know this is a stupid idea. You're vulnerable and reacting and needy and this could go so wrong and it's too tempting and you just want to be held so bad oh this is going to end in flames…' _Ritsuko took a deep breath. "Then, before we begin… would you like to have dinner tonight? And talk about what I know then?"

Maya's eye went wide again. "Y… y…y…" she tried. Unable to even get the word out, she resorted to frantic nodding.

Ritsuko couldn't stop the smile from escaping entirely this time. "I'm glad." Her smile faded. "I this all ends badly, I'm very sorry for dragging you in with me, but… I think it's time to tell you about NERV's _real_ mission, and what I've done. And I hope you can forgive me."

.

XXX

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* * *

Author's Note: Well here we are again (It's always such a pleasure), not even 2 weeks since the last update. Since the vote by reviews was overwhelmingly for more rapid, somewhat shorter updates, here we go with one, 5200 words.

Now, we've got some good news and some bad news.

The bad news is I've lost the notepad I was keeping A&amp;T's notes on, so I need to stop and reconstruct some stuff, but I've have needed to slow down a bit anyhow, as I've reached another point where I need to sit back and think about how the next several scenes are going to go and how various people are going to react to things. So there may be a bit of a delay while I work things out.

Also slowing things down is my day job. As part of my job, which I can't discuss, I need to deploy to Kuwait in a few weeks, and the 'getting ready to deploy' routine may take a bit of my time. I _should_ still be able to write and post from there, but I won't know how much until I'm on station and settled, early June. I'll be there several months.

For good news, to make things up to you all, and to satisfy the people who've asked for more of my stuff, I'm going to begin posting my other story here: _A Crown of Stars_. There's a TV Tropes page if you want a preview and a look at the character art I had commissioned. It's a continuation of sorts of _A Throne of Bayonets_, which is here on FFnet, by LVDB. _AToB_ is a great story, that perfectly captures the feeling of the series, but just like it's source, ended on a dark note with only the faintest glimmers of hope. I asked and got permission to write what came next, and decided to take out an original universe I'd been playing with for a spin while I was at it. As such, it's an OU/NGE cross, but I made sure to keep the camera firmly on Shinji and Asuka to prevent my OCs from stealing the show.

It's a _big_ story, over 100k larger than_ A&amp;T_ is so far. It is the first thing I've ever written, so I'll admit up front the writing in the early parts is rougher than A&amp;T, where I'd had some practice. But if you keep going, it's got some parts I'm very proud of. It's about 90% done, and I am still working on it, but for the last year _A&amp;T_ has taken over, and I've been devoting most of my writing time to it. But I'm trying to juggle both now, and an update for _ACoS _will be up on Sufficient Velocity soon.

So if you're interested, check via my FFnet page in a bit, and take a look. Also, the fact that I've got so much written means regular, rapid updates until I run out. How about 5-10k word updates weekly or better?


	28. Ch 26 - Everything I Do Pt 3

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 9.3

**Everything I Do...**

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* * *

The First, Second, Third, and Fifth Children walked out of the classroom as a group. The Fourth had already grabbed her boyfriend and bid them a hasty goodbye before speeding off towards Hikari's home. She'd declared that since she had to be home and see her family, but she wanted to be with him, it was high time Touji meet her father officially at a family dinner. Touji had paled, but let himself be dragged off.

It was an oddly tense group: Rei kept shooting the occasional baleful glare at Nagisa, and Shinji and Asuka followed along behind them, holding hands and intermittently exchanging their own confused looks. Rei, maintaining _anger_ at someone? Someone she had just met? This was unheard of.

Their surprise mounted even higher when Rei stopped them before they even got halfway to the shoe lockers and gave Nagisa an even more nasty look than previous before turning to them. "Please proceed home without us. Nagisa and I need to... talk."

"Er... are you sure, Rei? I... um... you sure you don't want us with you to help... keep things calm?" Shinji asked carefully.

Rei shook her head. "I wish you both could stay with me, but... he and I need to discuss topics it is safer for you not to hear. I will rejoin you at home as soon as possible." She looked at the Fifth Child again. "I may make sure he goes to his own residence and _stays there_ first."

"I will go wherever NERV places me," Nagisa said with a faint smile. "Don't we all?"

"Silence, new fish," Rei said sharply. "Follow me."

"New fish?" Nagisa said in amusement as he turned to follow Rei down the hall.

"Asuka called you that, and that is sufficient reason for me to employ it as a mild derogative appellation until I feel otherwise," Rei said without looking at him. She led the way down the hall and out of sight of her friends. She had memorized the school schedule of activities at the beginning of the year, more because it took her only moments and the information was in front of her than from any interest. It was not like she expected to ever join any of the clubs. Right now this meant she knew the school music room was unoccupied and would be so all afternoon. She slid the door open and waved him inside, closing it and locking it once she had followed him in.

She pointed at the piano bench. "Sit," she ordered. She placed herself a few feet away, standing and glaring at him. "Additionally, it covers my irritation and confusion at your light. I look at everyone else, and I see their AT-Fields easily, in a consistent manner. You... are _wrong. _Different. What _are_ you?"

"I told you," he said with that same, faint, and increasingly irritating smile. "Both of us ended up in the same form as the Lilim while we inhabit this planet. I am just like you."

"No you are _not_," Rei replied. "If you were, you would look like me, your light would be like mine, or everyone else's. I would see a light like a person's, not a... a... stupid rainbow trout!" Rei said in frustration. You'd look normal, not like..." Her eyes widened. "An _Angel_," she suddenly hissed. Her hands hooked into claws again.

His smile did not flicker at all. He just nodded. "In that vein, you may call me Tabris, if you wish. Pleased to meet you."

The room began to shudder and the sheets of music on the stands began to ripple in a wind that did not blow. "You will not harm them, _Adam-spawn!_" Rei growled. "This world is _mine! _I will protect my children! They will _live_!"

Nagisa raised both his hands in a gesture of surrender. "You don't need to do that."

"Why not?" Rei snarled. "You and I cannot coexist, Child of the White Moon! For all the other lies SEELE has told, they told the truth about that! I know what compels you! You cannot resist the Call to seek your origin! You will inevitably try to unite with Adam and fulfill the drive you cannot deny! And I will not allow you to overwrite all life on this world!"

"I am not your enemy, First Child," Nagisa said carefully, his hands still raised.

Rei unfurled her AT-Field, feeling it rasp and clash against his. Yet he and his own AT-Field remained totally passive. When she pushed, he resisted no more than necessary to keep from utterly collapsing. "You have no choice! I know how strong the Call is!"

"I am the Angel of Free Will. There is always a choice. And I choose my fate, not the old men of SEELE, whatever they may think. They cannot control me, not like that." He lowered one hand and trailed it along the keys of the piano, the trickle of notes oddly sweet and clear against the burning tension of their confrontation. "There is too much beauty in this world for me to want to destroy it so casually." He looked back up at her. "And in the people."

Rei paused her metaphysical assault, pulling back just a hair. "...You said you would not harm them by your own will. That still leaves wills not your own. And they are the ones that sent you here. I doubt it was out of goodwill towards Commander Ikari."

"They think I am their instrument. I let them send me. I wanted to come here. Yes, I feel the Call in my soul, drawing me here. I do not deny that. But I can still choose, for at least a while. And I want... to see this world, these people. I... I thought I would meet someone unique, someone special when I heard about the Third Child. And he is... but more than I ever expected. You are correct, his bond with the Second Child... I have never seen anything like it. It is truly beautiful... I want to see more of it."

Rei pulled back to just a notch above her usual AT-Field. The shuddering of the room ceased. "Then you understand why I cannot let you be here. You may choose otherwise for now, but how long can that last? You are a threat to them and their whole world merely by your existence. The day you cannot stop yourself, I _will_. By your basic nature, you are my enemy."

"What if I do not want to be?"

Rei narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"All this has happened before, all of this will happen again. But what if I want to choose a different path? You say I am your enemy... but I do not have to be. I do not want to be."

Rei stared at him, probing with all senses she could command to try to read him. "...Shinji has taught me to forgive and to give second chances. So I will give you this one chance, Adam-spawn. But if I become convinced you are about to do anything... wrong," her eyes glittered like razor-edged rubies. "Then I will end you."

Nagisa just nodded. His fingers trailed down the keys of the piano again. "Music... music is the highest achievement of Lilim culture... I feel... freed when I play. In a way nothing else can match." He looked up at her again. "I understand the Third Child plays?"

Rei's face hardened a little. "Yes... as does the Second. They play _together_. And it is far more beautiful than you can possibly imagine."

"...may I see this?"

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* * *

.

Asuka looked up at the ceiling as the building began to shake, but kept putting her shoes on. "Another earthquake? I'm never going to get used to those. Japan is just weird."

Shinji finished tying his shoe and rose from his crouch. "Eh, not even a four-pointer. Earthquakes happen all the time. It's just background life in Japan. In fact, I'm kind of surprised there haven't been more since you arrived."

The tremors subsided after a minute. "See?" Shinji continued. "Nothing exciting. Ready to go home?"

Asuka nodded. "Yeah... and today I think we need to press Misato for an answer. If we've _both_ hit the point where our nightmares are coming back, it's going to impact our Synch Rates soon enough, and that's something Misato _has_ to face is a consequence of not letting us have one bed."

Shinji took her hand as they left the school's doors. "I hope she listens." He looked troubled. "I... think we should tell her about this morning."

Asuka looked unhappy. "Wait, what? Tell her we technically broke her ban and literally slept together?"

Shinji looked guilty, but nodded. "I d-do. You know I don't like lying to her, and this will help convince her!"

Asuka just gave him a flat look.

Shinji pressed on. "I'm serious! She'll know we're coming clean, and I know she'll be able to tell we're not lying when we say it was because of the nightmares and all we did was hold each other. I really think it will help our case."

Asuka chewed on her lip for a moment, but eventually nodded acquiescence. "Alright, my dear baka. If you really think this will work, I guess we'll do it. I really hope this doesn't make her suddenly swerve to 'I was just about to let you do this, but now I can't trust you to keep your word!' or something."

Shinji squeezed her hand. "I don't think she will. She liked the idea of us together, it was just the concealing it for so long she hated."

"And the 'we're having more sex than she is' part," Asuka grumbled. "I am still annoyed with her about that. Ten days of celibacy and counting is maddening! And you know she's been having fun with Kaji nearly every night, too! Graaah!"

"I think we've been impressing her with our relative maturity and how we get along, now that we don't have to hide it from her," Shinji pointed out.

Asuka snorted. "Not a high bar. We're more mature than her, half the time." She took his hand and started tugging him towards the doors to the schoolyard. "Let's get going. I want to strut past all the envious girls again with you right next to me."

"Asuka..." Shinji tried to chastise her. Her unrepentant grin said he'd failed.

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* * *

.

Maya stared at her, face still frozen in shock as it had been for nearly the last hour. She'd started slowly, hesitantly... but it had been like a dam breaking. The words, the horrible secrets had spilled out of her faster and faster. SEELE, counting down the Angels to the last few left. Human Instrumentality. The Contact Experiments. GEHRIN becoming NERV. Commander Ikari's Scenario.

The Eva Cores.

What Rei really was.

She barely stopped herself at that point. But Maya could easily see there was more. And her devoted protégé was far from stupid. She could see the tumblers clicking in her head.

"...Y...you knew. You had to know. You're the number 3 person in all of NERV. There's no way half the systems even work without you..." Maya whispered. "...you... you were part of this." Maya's eyes widened. "...you were _helping him!_ C-commander Ikari...SEELE... they're trying to end the world _and you were helping?!_"

Ritsuko winced. She had to turn her face away from Maya, unable to bear the accusing stare. "...yes," she admitted hollowly. "I was. I _was_." Ritsuko swallowed. "This... this is why I was afraid to tell you. I'm sorry..."

"Why? Why would you... Ritsuko-sempai, you're... you're not _insane_, so _why?_"

She winced harder. She had to fight the urge to curl in on herself. "...because I thought... he loved me. Needed me. I told you I was stupid."

Maya was silent a long time. "Commander Ikari. You were... you thought he'd... choose you? Because you did all this for him?" she asked quietly.

Ritsuko just nodded.

"And now you've... what, just... changed your mind?" Maya sounded halfway between disbelief and confusion.

"...three times," Ritsuko said barely loud enough to hear. "Three times I've nearly been killed in the last few months, waking up in a hospital bed. He never even came by. He doesn't want me. He's just using me. I'm just a tool to him, like Rei. I've sold my soul to be his...anything he wanted... for _nothing_." She sighed. "But... you were there. You... just cared about me. Despite me. So...if he doesn't want me, even after all this... then I don't need him. And I'm not going to help him burn down the world anymore. I'm asking you to help me stop this... and maybe I can earn some redemption. You... you see a better me than I deserve, Maya. If I can... earn some worth back in your eyes, someone who cared for me when no one else did..." She swallowed again. "Maybe I can find a reason to keep going. I came... close last night. To... giving up."

Ritsuko hesitantly raised her eyes again. "Thinking of you helped stop me."

Maya stared at her again. Finally, she stood up and walked close enough to put her hand on Ritsuko's shoulder. "...you still are having dinner with me tonight, right?"

Ritsuko blinked in astonishment, but nodded.

Maya's hand was shaking. "Then... we'll talk." Maya took a deep breath. "What do we need to do right now to stop the end of the world?"

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* * *

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"Misato? We're home," Asuka called out as they entered the apartment.

"Welcome home," came the ritual reply from the kitchen.

The Children blinked when they entered the dining area. Misato was still neatly attired in her daily uniform and red jacket, visibly waiting for them at the table. "Have a seat," she said.

Asuka and Shinji shared a look before breaking their handclasp to sit down across from their guardian. "We've got something to tell you," they said in unison. They shot each other another look, this time in surprise.

Misato laughed. "Boy, that synch training keeps paying off. Alright, you go first."

"I was in Shinji's bed last night."

Misato went still. After a moment, she let out a tense breath. "Explain."

Asuka set her jaw. "I had nightmares. I haven't had any for months, not since we started. But now they're back. Bad enough to wake me up at four thirty, and I could tell I wasn't going to get back to sleep. So I went over to his room. He was awake too, same problem. So I got in with him, we held each other, talked a little, and managed to get back to sleep. And that's _all_ we did."

Misato looked at Shinji. He nodded carefully. She eyed them sharply. "What happened to 'no sleeping together until I make a decision, on your honor? I thought I could trust you two."

Asuka winced, but rallied. "I apologize for this one slip. But we didn't have sex, like I swore. This was just holding each other to keep nightmares away. We need each other, Misato. We start having constant nightmares like I used to, chewing up our sleep, it's going to affect our Synch Rates. That puts us in direct danger. You _have _to let us-"

Misato waved her hand, cutting her off. "Enough, Asuka." She looked at them both, Misato the Operations Officer clearly who they were facing, not their beer-happy roommate. In fact, Shinji noted with mild surprise that there was no sign Misato had even had her usual 'just got home' beer while waiting for them. "I'm disappointed you broke your word to even that little bit, but glad you decided not to try hiding it. Doubly so since I bet you could have gotten away with it. As it happens, I _have_ made a decision regarding your sleeping arrangements."

Below the level of the table, Shinji's hand automatically moved towards Asuka. His met hers coming right back at him. They gripped each other's hand tightly. Asuka cleared her throat. "And?" she asked, her voice as tense as their grip.

Major Katsuragi stared firmly back at them. "You may resume sleeping in one bed."

Huge smiles broke out on both the Children's faces.

"But!" their guardian continued.

The smiles dimmed.

"That's it. No fooling around. You're too young."

Shinji could hear Asuka's teeth grind. "Until _when_?" she asked tightly.

"Until you're older."

The grinding got louder. "_Damn it, Misato, we-_"

"Her fifteenth birthday is in two weeks, Misato." Shinji broke in. "She'll be older then. Is that enough?"

Major Katsuragi appeared to consider this. "...yeah, that'll do. Fifteen is older. Good enough."

Asuka's free hand made a solid _smack _against her own face. "Misato, are you _screwing _with us?"

"Why, for what reason would I do something like _that_, Asuka?" Misato replied innocently. "And I thought that was your job?"

"'When you're older'? Gaaaah!" Asuka grumbled. "So that's it? We prove we can hang on to 'mature' celibacy for two more weeks, and then you'll drop the 'no sweating and moaning' stipulation?"

Misato nodded. "You prove to me that this isn't just hormones, and I'll allow it. And once you're at least above fifteen, it's easier to excuse, yes?"

"Did you do this whole thing just to get us back for that week?" Asuka growled.

"Did it work?" Misato grinned, getting up from the table to get a beer out of the fridge. "If it's really that bad sleeping apart and it looks like it's going to affect your piloting, I can bear it. I'm still counting on you to keep your word about not having sex. I know you could probably sneak some in when I'm asleep or out. But I'm willing to bet you want this bad enough to keep the rules, and show me you can handle it." Misato popped the beer open and took a long swig. "Aaaaah, that's the stuff. Besides, it's not like I'm going to be," she grimaced, "even _trying_ to check you two in the mornings to see if you've been...er, pure. I'm relying on your good word." She took another drag on the beer and laughed. "And Shin-chan's total lack of a poker face when it comes to discussing sex."

She grinned and looked at Asuka. "So... does he 'berserk' in bed?"

Asuka's jaw dropped. "What?!"

"You've been 'entangling your AT-Fields' for weeks. Having fun? Enjoy 'firing the Positron Cannon'?"

"Misato, what the Hell happened to 'we're too young for this'?!" Asuka was turning red. Shinji was turning red faster.

Misato just grinned wider. She finished the beer, tossed the can at the recycling bin, and grabbed another. "The cat's out of the bag, we just finished the official business part, and now it's time for your big sis Misato to embarrass the Hell out of you both. I get _my_ payback."

Asuka rubbed her temples. "This is going to go on for the entire two weeks, isn't it?"

"And then it'll _really_ start!" Misato threw a wink at Shinji. "So... two weeks until her birthday. You better get your girlfriend something _impressive_ for your first birthday together, Shin-chan."

Shinji stopped turning red and started getting pale.

Asuka looked at him closely. "What _are_ you going to get me, Shinji?"

"Um..."

"Better get started, Shinji!" Misato snickered. "Now, it's my turn to make dinner, but in light of your little violation of the rules this morning, I think that means you two get to do it to make up for it. I'll be watching TV. How about some nice stir-fry?"

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* * *

.

Misato stretched and arched her back until it popped, and headed for her room to change into something a bit more comfortable. She stopped halfway through taking off her uniform jacket when she noticed Asuka had followed her and was standing in the doorway. "Yes, Asuka? Shouldn't you be helping your boyfriend cook dinner?" Her slightly cheeky smile faded as she noticed the young Pilot's serious expression.

"He can handle it alone for a bit. I came for real reasons. There's more, Misato. Shinji and I _do_ do other things than just constantly try to get in bed together." She held up a folder. "One piece of personal business... but more serious stuff first. The Fifth Child, Kaworu Nagisa showed up in class today. Rei And I can tell you for sure there _was _no 'Fifth Child' when I left NERV-Berlin 5 months ago. So he seems suspicious as Hell to me. doesn't like him already either. She slapped him for... um... inappropriate comments."

Misato raised an eyebrow at this. "Wait, _Rei_ got angry at the new Fifth Child about 'inappropriate comments'? _Our_ Rei? Miss 'Ice Princess of Tokyo-3' herself?"

Asuka waved it aside. "He managed to piss her off, yes. He's weird, too. Kind of creepily friendly. Anyway, once we got rid of him at lunch, Shinji and I had a talk with Rei, Hikari, and Jock Stooge. We told Hikari and him about her mother being in Unit-03."

Misato sucked in a breath through her teeth. "I...ssss... I can understand why you told her, Asuka, but I wish you hadn't. This is dangerous stuff to know or spread."

Asuka nodded grimly. "Hikari deserved to know, Misato. And that's about what Rei said when we asked her about what she feels in the Core of Unit-00. She... Misato, she was _scared_ to discuss it with us. She said 'even knowing is dangerous', and 'she was angry'. So she didn't directly say so, but I'm pretty sure that's Rei's mother in Unit-00. And that either Commander Asshole or that committee he reports to is willing to terrify Rei into silence and apparently kill to keep that secret."

Misato just nodded. "Yeah... that's about what we figured. Kaji and I are digging, but..." She shook her head.

Asuka pointed the folder at her. "You both be careful, Misato. I don't want you or him... suddenly disappearing on us. What..." Asuka's lips pressed into a tense line. "...what the Hell would Shinji and I do if you or Kaji suddenly got caught or... worse? We'd be... I don't know. It'd be down to just us and Rei trying to keep the world from ending, and no one left we could trust."

"Not dying is high on my list, yes. And keeping that foolhardy, guilt-ridden man of mine from walking into a lethal trap in pursuit of the truth. He owes me _years_." She sighed. "I still wish you hadn't told Horaki-san. This really is stuff that's dangerous for anyone to know we know, and the more people we tell..."

Asuka pursed her lips. "I know. But... I know how I felt when I figured out Mama is in Unit-02. I couldn't keep that from Hikari and look her in the face." Asuka fiddled with the folder. "How long until I can sit in Unit-02 again? I really, really want to talk to Mama. Just... just to make sure she's really there, not... gone."

Misato shrugged. " Unit-02's going to be fixed before Unit-01, I know that. Unit-02's limb reattachment is simple compared to the mauling Unit-01 got, plus that fall. If your mother is really in there, you'll get a chance soon. Within a week, I think. I'll have to pin down Ritsuko and find out when they want to test. She was... scarce today. Closeted up with Lieutenant Ibuki about something. I only even saw them at lunch in the cafeteria, and they were both hammering away at laptops, coding something I think. MAGI shit never ends. But we'll get you in there soon. I know what it means to you."

She eyed Asuka a bit. "Thanks, by the way."

Asuka cocked her head. "For?"

"You two. Watching you both I _thought_ dance around each other without admitting you were attracted to each other got me thinking about Kaji again, and how I screwed it up back then. Made me think about trying again." She leveled a imperious finger at Asuka. "You two _better_ not screw up like I did. I panicked about getting close to him back then, lied to him about there being someone else, and dumped him. Stupidest thing I've ever done. So you two better not be as dumb."

Misato couldn't miss the shiver that ran down Asuka's whole body. "Never. I'm not going to lie to him, cheat, or ever leave him, Misato. I've been alone for years since I lost Mama. I don't ever want to go back to feeling like that. Especially with how much stronger and _loved_ I feel with him. So... here." Asuka handed her the folder. "My revised will and next of kin stuff. Screw my father and that woman, Shinji gets everything. Whatever is left if I... don't make it goes to him. I know you can't file these without somebody noticing the change, but they're all signed and notarized and such so you can if... something happens, ok? And... don't tell Shinji I did this. Even talking about it just makes him worry like nothing else, and I hate it when he looks that way."

Misato took the folder without expression, and leafed through it. She didn't say anything, but turned to walk over to her desk on the other side of the room. She picked up another folder, and walked back to hand it to Asuka. "Shinji gave me this the night you two confessed you were together, while you were in the shower."

Asuka flipped the folder open. Her eyes fixed on one object lying on top of the other papers. "...that's a letter. A death letter." She bit her lip. "Shinji, you bastard..." Her eyes started to glitter and she snapped the folder shut to rub at them with one hand.

She thrust the folder back and Misato blindly. "Don't... here. Don't show me that again. _I _don't like thinking about it either. What the fuck do you think my nightmares are _about_ these days?"

Misato took the folder back and returned it to her desk. "That, and what you just gave me are why I finally decided to let you go back to sleeping in one bed. That you both did this without telling the other... I know you're serious. That this is more important than your pride or anything. Your confessing about this morning sealed it. This is emotional, not just your bodies driving things. So just behave until your birthday, and we'll call it alright."

"We can," Asuka nodded. "Not that I don't hate it, since I kinda _like_ that part, but... being able to feel him next to me in the dark is ten times as important."

Misato did smile now. "I'm glad to hear it. You two both have had rough times, and I'm happy you've found each other. You had me fooled." She snorted. "Hell, if you'd asked me two weeks ago, I'd have been sure you both were still in the 'everyone can see it but you won't admit it' part. I've been trying to think of ways to nudge you two towards each other since Mount Asama. You should have seen how Shinji freaked out when Leliel sucked you in. I could tell you two felt _something_ for each other then."

Asuka shivered again. "He told me about it later. We were already together then, just a few days before. Which I'm very glad for. I'm not sure I'd have made it out of there without him to keep me from losing it." She gave Misato a sad smile. "That night was our first time. Coming that close to dying, again... I didn't want to have any regrets. So... yeah. We can handle sex, Misato. Since it's not just sex. It's love."

"Yeah, yeah," Misato waved at her. Even her flippant tone couldn't totally cover her warm smile at her young charge. "You two are terribly sweet. Now get back to the kitchen and help him out, and let me change."

"I dunno, Misato... I might want to go make sure our bed is all made for tonight. There will be _cuddling!_" Asuka shot over her shoulder as she left. "All the cuddles!"

.

* * *

.

Two women absently slurped at bowls of cafeteria udon, their eye never really leaving the screens of the laptops in front of them. All the late night NERV Staff knew better than to interrupt the two top MAGI coders when they were working.

MAGI SYSOP 01: This is not quite what I pictured when you said 'dinner together'.

MAGI ADMIN 01: Me either, but this is secure. Someone would probably notice you suddenly having a meal at my apartment, something we've never done before. This is just 'those two workaholic computer people doing what they always do, and working through dinner'. And no one but us looks at the coding logs, so we can speak freely.

MAGI SYSOP 01: ...I don't even know what to say. I... want to... um. Will we ever have dinner more like... what we pictured? And um... what do you 'know'?

MAGI ADMIN 01: ...Maya... I... want to. But I also don't want to go too fast and... ruin things. I...um... 'know' you've been kind of crushing on me for months. I noticed. I tried to ignore it, since I thought... you know.

MAGI SYSOP 01: It's alright. I... um. Guess I wasn't that subtle, was I?

MAGI ADMIN 01: No. I was... flattered but... I was being stupid.

MAGI SYSOP 01: You're never stupid, Ak... Ritsuko-sempai. Just... being in love can make you do... crazy things.

MAGI ADMIN 01: ...you didn't.

MAGI SYSOP 01: I spent months crushing on a woman, my boss, who I had nothing but wild hope that she was even open to the idea of... women. That's not stupid?

MAGI ADMIN 01: I guess Misato never mentioned the things I used to do in college.

MAGI SYSOP 01: ...you've... dated girls before?

MAGI ADMIN 01: Not since college, but... yes. I told myself it was a phase. Stupid again.

MAGI SYSOP 01: ...you... just being here right now is making me so happy, Ritsuko-sempai. Thank you.

MAGI ADMIN 01: ...Maya, call me Ritsuko. Please?

MAGI SYSOP 01: Not until you take me out on a proper date. With... with hugs. And stuff.

MAGI ADMIN 01: ...

MAGI SYSOP 01: Please don't be mad?

MAGI ADMIN 01: ...Maya, 'mad' is the furthest thing from my mind. Ok, no, that's not totally correct. I'm a little mad you're making me want to take you out right now when we just can't. And I don't want to go too fast because... I want to go really fast.

MAGI SYSOP 01: ...yay? :-3

MAGI ADMIN 01: I think I may have awakened a monster. :p

.

* * *

Author's Note: Well, obviously my plan for 'more frequent updates' was kind of defenestrated. I got slammed with work at my office, and now I'm in the middle of Fort Bliss, Texas, deploying in a few days. I'll try to keep posting from Kuwait, but no idea how feasible that will be until I get there. In the mean time, enjoy more Rainbow Trout vs Rei antics, Misato getting some payback, and Ritsuko and Maya abusing the MAGI coding logs.


	29. Ch 27 - Everything I Do Pt 4

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 9.4

**Everything I Do...**

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* * *

Rei stared at the tiny closet in the shoddy apartment building that Nagisa had guided her to when she insisted on 'making sure he returned to his assigned domicile and remained there'. It turned out to be a tiny, tiny room, barely more than a few square meters of space next to a narrow bed. She could just about touch all four walls if she stood in the center. "_This_ is your assigned quarters?" she asked with a fractionally raised eyebrow.

Nagisa nodded, still smiling faintly. "I do not have many possessions, and do not require much space. This is acceptable."

"I would dispute that," Rei said emotionlessly, looking around again. _'I accepted just as Spartan conditions not too long ago. But now I see how poorly I was treated. I am torn. I wish to see the Adam-spawn suffer and disappear, to be eliminated as a threat to my loves and their world. But I also do not wish to see a fellow Pilot treated as badly as I was by being forced to live like this. I do not know how to process this.'_

Fixing Nagisa with a disapproving look, Rei asked, "Who assigned you this room?"

"I spoke with Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki on my arrival. He provided my NERV ID and other accommodations."

Rei frowned. _'So this is deliberate, and altering his residence will not be simple.' _She paused, and re-examined her own thoughts. _'Wait, why do I even care if he lives in this... kennel? I would be pleased to kill him myself.'_

'...because Asuka saw this situation for me, and worked to change it when she had no reason to feel anything but dislike for me. And they would be disappointed in me if I let him live like this, and did not tell them that I knew about it.'

She shook her head. _'Very well. I will bring it to the attention of Major Katsuragi, and let her possibly less biased judgment rule.'_

Rei paused. _'Less biased as long as she is unaware of his true nature, at least. She possibly would hate him even more than I if she knew. In any case, I will let her determine if he should remain in these cramped and bare quarters.' _Resolve firmed in her chest. _'I will be worthy of my loves. They are not given to cruelty and malice, and so I shall not be either. I will protect them from this supposed Angel of Free Will by whatever means I must, but I will not make him suffer for suffering's sake. I will simply kill him if that becomes necessary.'_

She nodded to Nagisa and turned to leave. "I will speak to the Operations Director about your accommodations. This is not meeting the standard of treatment for Pilots."

She could practically hear his eyebrows rise. "For someone who has been rather firmly hostile to me, I am surprised you would bother," he said, light amusement in his voice.

She looked back over her shoulder at him, saying coldly, "I do not do this out of concern for you. I do this because those I love would be disappointed in me if I did not. And their love and regard is infinitely more important to me than your well-being or lack of." _'What was that remark from that old film I watched with my loves recently? It feels fitting here. Ah yes.' _She turned back as she put her hand on the door handle giving him her best blank expression. "Good evening, Nagisa. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

She savored his further confused and surprised look as she left, a tiny smile finally reaching her face.

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* * *

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Misato looked up from the papers she was poring over on the kitchen table at the sound of the front door to the apartment swishing open, tensing slightly despite her mild buzz. While there were only a few people who had keycards to let themselves in, and she'd be delighted to see any of them (one tall Inspector in particular even more so), the quiet digging into NERV's secrets she and Kaji were engaged in was leaving her increasingly paranoid that Section 2 might one day let themselves in. She didn't fully relax until she saw the flash of blue hair that heralded the First Child's arrival. "Welcome home, Rei. You're running a little late today."

Rei nodded greetings. "I escorted the Fifth Child to his new residence, to familiarize myself with its location. I wish to report that his accommodations are quite sub-standard for how NERV should treat its Pilots, as Asuka determined when she observed my old housing. Nagisa-san's is even worse. It is little more than a closet. I believe you should inspect it as you did mine and determine if it is satisfactory."

Misato looked a bit surprised. "Really? I suppose I can. But Shinji and Asuka said you didn't seem that happy with the new kid. You're still looking out for him?"

"I am not. I am looking out for Pilots in general, and wish to…" Rei suddenly halted.

Misato blinked. _'Rei… looks __**awkward**__? Has… has that ever happened before?'_

"Asuka did the same for me when I lived in poor conditions. I do not wish to… lose her or Shinji's regard, and I believe they would be disappointed in me if they became aware that I knew Nagisa-san lived poorly and I did nothing. I do not do this for him." Rei somehow gave the impression of blushing and shuffling her feet without moving or showing any expression.

Misato shook her head. Shinji and Asuka being a good influence on Rei? Life was strange. "I'll… take a look at his place tomorrow, Rei. You… you're staying for dinner, right?"

Rei nodded. She looked around the empty kitchen and then behind Misato at the living room. "Where are they? Did they go out on another date?"

Misato snorted. "Just about. They needed some ingredients for the meal tonight, and decided they were going to the store to get them together. Just an excuse to go out hand-in-hand again, I think. Asuka loves showing off that she's got Shinji wrapped around her finger. They should be back soon."

"Then I shall use the time to change out of my uniform. I wish to show them the fruits of Asuka's teachings on fashion."

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* * *

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Dinner sat warm and delicious in her belly, a cold beer was in her hand, and Rei had departed for her own apartment next door by the time Misato yawned at the evening news starting. She stifled another yawn as she watched Shinji and Asuka rise from the pushed together beanbags they'd been sitting next to each other on.

Asuka whispered something to Shinji that got her a tentative smile and a nod. The redhead turned to Misato with a carefully calm expression. "Misato, it's late. We're going to bed." Her hand was already clasping Shinji's.

The implied challenge hung in the air. Misato just took a deep breath and nodded. "Sleep well."

When their guardian said nothing more, Asuka and Shinji shared a glowing look. Misato had to fight down a smile as the two Pilots walked to Asuka's room and almost defiantly closed the door behind them.

'_Looks like I'm going to have to stop calling it just her room,'_ Misato mused as she rose from the couch and picked up the cordless phone from its base. A quick dial and a couple of rings got her the person she wanted. "One happy couple in bed already. You going to make me wait?"

A baritone chuckle on the other end. "Yes, dear. Be there shortly."

"Good boy."

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* * *

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"I can't believe we're really doing this," Shinji said quietly as Asuka closed the door behind them. "And that she's letting us."

"Me either," Asuka replied, kicking off her shorts and removing her A10 headset from her hair. "But I'm glad she is. We've earned this, we deserve this, and… and we need this," she finished kind of weakly, betraying her own real reason.

She hit the lights and pulled Shinji into a hug as he sat down on the bed next to her. She could feel herself relax almost immediately. They hardly separated as they laid down and arranged the sheets over themselves. Blankets were entirely superfluous in Tokyo-03's permanent summer heat, doubly so with a warm body alongside.

Shinji couldn't quite relax himself. Asuka frowned slightly as she could feel him still tensing as they adjusted themselves to comfortable sleep positions. "…what is it?"

"What?"

"Come on, Shinji. Part of why this feels so damn good to me is we've been sleeping next to each other long enough that it's utterly _comfortable_. I can feel you're still almost as tensed up as when we started. I know you and you know me by now. Talk."

Shinji shuffled a bit, but couldn't meet her eyes. "I… thought of what I want to get you for your birthday."

Asuka smiled in the dark but pressed further. "Which I like to hear, but why are you acting like you're about to do something particularly baka-ish?"

"I want it to be a surprise, but it's something I'm going to need to do a lot of work on, and I've only got two weeks, so…" He trailed off weakly.

Asuka waited. When he said nothing, she took a stab. "A surprise, lots of work, and short timeline… means you're going to have to do it out of my sight, and need all the spare time you can get between now and then. So…" She twisted her lips a bit. "It's fine, Shinji. We can live without being joined at the hip every afternoon, as much as I _like_ when we are really 'joined at the hips' hurr hurr. You need time to come up with a truly stunning birthday present for me? I can survive. I've got an idea I've been thinking about to take up that time anyhow."

Now Shinji relaxed. "That's... that's good. I'd… probably work on it with Rei, if that's alright? I don't want to interrupt if she was part of your idea."

Asuka snorted. "What, I should worry about you sneaking off with Wondergirl and having dirty trysts behind my back? Without inviting me along? No kissing Rei without me, baka."

"I wouldn't!" Shinji looked lightly guilty, which she noted.

"But I bet the scenario had crossed your pervy baka mind, my dear," Asuka needled gently. "You're just like me, and I know the notion has crossed _my_ mind. Stupid sexy Rei." She gave him a quick kiss. "I trust you both, though, crazy as that sounds to me too. I know neither of you would hurt me, so go right ahead. You and Rei do whatever your little surprise is. I'll be seeing about cooking with Hikari, if I can pry her away from her pet gorilla."

"…cooking?" Shinji almost sounded hurt.

She poked him in the side. "No, I don't have any complaints about my boyfriend being a dedicated chef of no small talent who cooks anything I want on demand. I just… you _do _that. You do all the cooking, almost. It's because you're better at it than me, definitely better than Misato, and I know it makes you happy to do so, but… I want to... return the favor, baka."

Asuka could feel her cheeks heating a bit as Shinji stared at her in surprise. "What? I... damn it, Shinji, you treat me like a princess and I know it. I want to… do the same for you. Notice I didn't even ask what you're up to for my present? Because I know you're going to go all-out and… make it special. Because you know I haven't had a real birthday with people I want to have around in forever. So I know you're going to wow me. And I'm… I'm not waiting around a whole eight more months to match things on your birthday. I'm going to have Hikari spin me up on cooking some more so I can make stuff for you too. And you're going to like it!" Asuka finished off with a hint of her old tsun-fire. The blush more than won out, though.

Shinji smiled in that half-loving, half-sad way that always melted her insides, like he still couldn't believe he was really there in bed with her. "Yeah… I will. I know I will. And… I really hope you'll like what I've got in mind, Asuka."

"I know I will. I have faith in my dearest baka. Now let's get to sleep. I know this is going to be the best rest I've had in over a week, and it's one day closer to getting to talk to our mothers." She closed her eyes and let her head roll against his. "I don't care if we have to spend the day apart if we get to end it like this. This makes everything worth it."

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* * *

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"So, what do you think?"

Rei considered for a moment, then looked around her living room. "I believe my apartment should be adequate, if we take some precautions and do not use my bedroom."

Shinji smiled. "Thanks, Rei. I... I really want to get this perfect for her. I don't think she's had a real, happy birthday in forever, and I... _really_ want her to be happy. More than anything in the world."

Rei gave one of her tiny smiles and nodded. "I understand. I wish for her happiness as well. And I know that making her happy makes you happy." Rei's face clouded slightly. "So I will do something that I do not like, because you both being happy is more important than my irritation with him."

Shinji blinked, confused. "'Him'? 'Him' who?"

"I know another who can help with this," Rei said with a small frown.

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* * *

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His grin was _very _annoying, Rei decided.

"Of course! I would be delighted to help a fellow Pilot and musician. I did want to see them play, after all." Nagisa gave her what she was sure other girls in the class would consider a soft, appealing smile. He'd only been here a day, and already several of the girls disappointed that Shinji was very much taken were already turning disgustingly desirous looks at the new fish.

Rei forced herself not to scowl. "Him. Not them. We would… like your assistance in this project. You listed the violin and piano among instruments you play. I have begun learning viola so that I might accompany m-… Shinji and Asuka in music. Your assistance would help me learn quicker, and assist Shinji in producing his intended birthday gift for Asuka. That is all."

"Even seeing him play sounds delightful. I would be happy to help. Violin and viola are similar enough I can help you, yes." He was still smiling. It was getting on her nerves even more than the constant background itch of her Angelic side screaming at her to destroy the Adamite interloper.

"Very well. Follow me to my residence at the conclusion of the school day. We will practice until 1830, at which time you will leave and return to your quarters."

He still smiled. "Then I will enjoy what time I have to observe him. I will do my best to teach you. I have some skill, but I have only been playing for five months. We learn quickly."

Something about his statement tickled at her mind, the slightly odd tone to his voice. Rei's curiosity got the better of her. "Five months? What made you begin?"

"I was born. Music seemed… free. I took to it naturally. It was one of my few allowances."

Rei blinked, waiting for more. "You were born five months ago?"

"Five months, three days, thirteen hours, twenty two minutes."

Rei stared at him. Five months? He was… "You count every moment of your existence?" Rei asked, one eyebrow rising a millimeter.

"Don't you?"

"Five years, two months, eleven days, nine hours this incarnation," she said, half to herself.

Nagisa blinked back at her, his smile fading for the first time since they'd begun speaking. "What?"

Rei shook her head minutely. "I was not allowed music. I was chemically numbed. A control mechanism. Therefore, I do not know how to play. You will assist me in learning."

His smile returned, but noticeably dimmer. "I would be… honored."

For the first time, Rei could see the shadows in his smile. _'He knows I know what he is, that NERV likely knows what he is. He knows being here will almost inevitably end in his death. Yet still he walks forward with a smile. Why? I took little joy in my knowledge of my role in the Commander's Scenario, even though I longed for the release of death. Why does he smile?'_

She shook the line of thought away. It was not relevant now. "Good. Asuka's birthday is of great importance to us. It _will_ go well."

She turned and walked away, leaving Nagisa to his solitary lunch. The crowd of flirtatious girls would no doubt surround him quickly after she left anyway.

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* * *

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'_I am suddenly regretful that I did not conduct any experiments with Kensuke here, if for no other reason than that would have kept __**him**__ from technically being 'the first boy I have brought home',' _Rei thought to herself as she swiped her keycard through the lock on her apartment door. She turned her head to give the Fifth Child a glare. "This is my residence. Do not touch anything. My instincts are already demanding your destruction for the invasion, even requested."

Nagisa nodded, still smiling, like he had expected her to say something like that. "I will try not to force you to destroy me," he said cheerfully.

Somehow, that _still_ annoyed her. "Come in," she muttered. "I will call Shinji over."

Nagisa put his violin case down in the living room, looking around at the still rather Spartan furnishing. "This is far more spacious than my quarters," he observed.

Rei put away her cell phone, the brief call to Shinji already done. "This is thanks to the efforts of my… friends and Major Katsuragi. My previous residence was much less. They did this out of care for me."

Nagisa tilted his head a bit. "And you said you would do something similar for me?"

Rei scowled. "And I also told you I do it for their regard, not care for you. Do not try to imply anything more. I am still prepared at a moment's notice to-" Rei cut herself of instantly as she heard the door beep and hiss open.

Shinji appeared a moment later, cello case in his hands being carefully moved around the table. "Hello, Rei, I... Oh, hello, Nagisa-san."

Kaworu's smile broadened a notch. "Please, I asked you all to call me Kaworu. We are to be fellow Pilots, after all."

Shinji looked a little flustered. Rei was caught between blushing at how cute that made him look and the urge to growl at Nagisa for daring such unearned intimacies with her love.

"K-kaworu-kun, then. Um... So I guess you said yes to Rei asking you to help us?"

The grey-haired boy nodded. "Of course. I have been wanting to hear you play since I found out you were a musician too. Maybe we can do a nice duet." He cocked his head. "But how did you get here do fast?"

"I... I live next door. Didn't Rei mention it?" Shinji stammered.

"Oh really?" Kaworu raised his eyebrows, turning to look back at Rei. "No, it must have slipped her mind."

Rei fought down the urge to get between Nagisa and Shinji and protectively embrace Shinji while snarling at Kaworu. "Prepare your instrument, Nagisa. It is time to perform. Show me what you can do."

Shinji almost dropped his cello case on his foot and clapped one hand over his mouth, turning red.

Rei blinked at him. "Are you alright, Shinji?"

He made some muffled noises under his hand, but was smiling when he pulled it away. "J-just fine, Rei! Just... um, let's get started, then?"

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* * *

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"And place in the oven for 25 minutes at 180 degrees," Asuka read out from the cookbook as Hikari set the dial.

"Done." Hikari turned back to her friend and gave her a mildly accusing look. "So you and Ikari-kun were trying to nudge Touji and I together to _distract us_?"

Asuka's smile was unrepentant. "Yes, we were, and it worked. I know just how distracting falling in love can be. And honestly, at the beginning I was seriously scared of anyone catching wind of us and... well, leading to anything that might separate my dearest baka and I. Can you blame me?"

"If I wasn't so happy that Touji and I are actually together now, I might!" Hikari grumbled lightly. She soon dropped the attempt at a glower and smiled back. "It _is _pretty distracting. He and I were thinking of thanking you by trying to nudge _you two _together, actually," she giggled.

Asuka grinned. "You're my friend, Hikari. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't already have a good idea how you two felt about each other. It was not exactly hard to see you had a crush on that big block of beef."

Hikari blushed.

"And once Shinji told me that despite his 'manly' complaints about you being a "pigtailed tyrant" in the classroom, he kept staring at you when he thought no one was looking, well,... I laughed at the two of you dancing around each other, mutually attracted but afraid to say anything... and Shinji just gave me this _look_." She laughed. "So it felt alright to give you two a hand. I know how _incredibly_ better and happier I felt once Shinji and I started communicating and...ah, doing the other stuff," she coughed into her hand, "So I wanted my best friend to feel that way too. Since you and Touji were acting like Shinji and I, I was pretty sure it would work out in a similar manner."

Asuka's smile got warmer as her gaze drifted in the direction of the wall their residence shared with Rei's apartment. "I used to feel alone. My father and step-mother were never very good at affection, and I never really had any peers or people I'd let close. You've got your dad and your sisters, so you never were quite as lonely as I was, but… Shinji loves me. That's the best part of it all. I don't fear I'll be alone anymore. No matter what, I've got him. Helping you two find that feeling too felt…good."

Asuka's face got a little grimmer and her smile faded. "And… this is a dangerous job. All of us could have died in action multiple times already. So holding back or 'waiting until you're older' seems… not the right way. It's not just 'eat, drink, and be merry'. It's… I feel… no, I _know_ I'm stronger and better in a fight now that I know I'll always have Shinji with me, backing me up, and being there at night. Being together makes the myriad stresses of being an Eva Pilot a lot easier to bear than alone."

"You didn't know I'd end up as the Fourth Child when you started your little sneaky plot, but point taken," Hikari conceded. "And…" She swallowed. "Asuka… what are we going to do about… our mothers? I… I can't even sit in Unit-03 and try to talk to her as long as I'm off the 'active duty' roster. Nagisa-san is a nice enough person, but… I want _my_ Evangelion back, even if just to try talking to her."

Asuka shook her head. "I don't know. But be very, very quiet about it. They never told me in ten years of being a Pilot, and they had to know I'd have done _anything_ to be able to talk to Mama again, so this is stuff they don't want anyone to know at all. It's nearly a miracle that we figured it out. Just… I don't know. They're supposed to have Unit-02 repaired enough for me to reactivate it in a few more days. I'll try…" Asuka had to pause and take a calming breath. "I'll try talking to Mama, and see what happens. They've got to let you back in Unit-03 at some point. And your mother answered when we tried, so…"

Hikari looked down at her tightly clenched hands. "Should… should we try telling Nagisa-san? See if he can talk to her for me?"

Asuka shook her head again much more sharply. "No way. He's… we don't know him at all, and he's just appeared out of nowhere from NERV Berlin, when he wasn't there when I left five months ago? I don't trust him, have no reason to trust him, and plenty of reasons not to. He could be working for that 'Human Instrumentality Committee' I had to talk to, or… anyone. Don't mention any of it to him."

Hikari had just opened her mouth to reply when the front door opened. "I'm home," Rei said softly from the entrance hallway.

Asuka's smile returned at full power. "Welcome home, Rei! Come join us! We're cooking!"

Rei came around the corner into the kitchen area with one of her now familiar small smiles on her face. Her smooth curve towards Asuka checked into a halt almost smoothly enough that you wouldn't notice. Asuka noted Rei's hand twitch like she'd been about to raise it for a hug, however. Her greeting smile at Rei was just a notch higher once she did. "A bit surprised to see you, Rei. I thought you'd be working on my mysterious present with Shinji all afternoon, like the last two days."

"While I am reluctant to leave Shinji alone with the Fifth Child, lest he become… impertinent," Rei replied, "I also miss spending time with you. So I have determined to spend at least one afternoon a week in your company. As time-demanding as Shinji's idea is, I do not simply want to give up on seeing my other friends as well for the next two weeks."

"So mysterious indeed about this present," Hikari said. "And why would you worry about the new Pilot being um… 'impertinent' with Ikari-kun?"

Rei very slightly pursed her lips. "He is… he is… bad at personal space and respecting boundaries," Rei finally managed in a tight voice.

Hikari looked surprised. "Did… he try something fresh with you? Is that why you slapped him the day he transferred in?" She looked even more puzzled. "And now you're worried he'll… hit on Ikari-kun?"

Asuka gave Rei a funny look. "Rei, tell me that's not what you're worried about. The new fish was a little strange, but I didn't think he'd try anything that dumb. He knows Shinji and I are a thing, right? And that I might feed him his own arm if he bothers my boyfriend?"

"He is very aware you and Shinji are a couple, yes," Rei said. "But for some reason this only makes him more fascinated with him and you. I have warned him not to do anything I would not approve of while he and Shinji are alone."

"You don't think he'll actually do anything, do you, Rei?" Hikari asked.

"No, I do not. I still do not like him." Rei dismissed him with a wave. "So, we are cooking?"

"Yup! I'm not going to let my dear baka _totally _take over our kitchen, no matter how much an emerging gourmet chef he's becoming," Asuka declared. "Plus, I want to see _his_ face melt over something I made for him instead of the reverse next time. Can't let him get too far ahead on the 'making your lover turn into a happy puddle' scoreboard. He's far enough ahead on that one already. He's a good cuddle," she finished with smug pride.

Both Hikari and Rei looked envious. "So… what's getting to… to go to bed together like?" Hikari said, blushing.

"You've got your own boytoy, find out for yourself!" Asuka replied with a grin. "I think you'll like it."

"Shinji does give good hugs," Rei mumbled, a little pink herself.

"Oh my _my~_, Rei! Did you ask Asuka's permission first?" Misato said from the front hallway. She appeared at the door to the dining area, grinning. "I'm home!"

"Welcome home, Misato. Yes, she asked permission first. She needed a hug. I gave her one too," Asuka said dryly. "You're home early," she noted.

"I'm ahead enough on the paperwork for once I can afford it. Kaji's taking me out tonight. And I had a piece of news I figured you'd want to hear right away, so I decided it was time to call it a day," the curvy Major said as she got a beer from the fridge. Her smile faded to a bit more serious look as she turned around and popped it open. She took a sip, and announced, "Unit-02's repairs are done. They're ready for the reactivation test."

The other girls turned to Asuka, who'd gone blank. "When?" she asked, her voice tight.

"1530, tomorrow afternoon."

"…Mama," Asuka whispered.

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* * *

.

Kaworu wiped at the sweat on his forehead, his eyes still closed and a sublime smile on his face. He took a deep breath before opening his eyes. "Thank you, Shinji-kun. That was… most pleasant."

"Y-you're welcome, Kaworu-kun," Shinji blushed a bit. "I've n-never done that with anyone before but Asuka."

"That was better than I'd hoped. I would like to do this with you more often," the Fifth Child said almost breathily.

"I… I th-think Asuka would say that's her job. She might get upset at you trying to take that from her," Shinji said carefully.

Kaworu considered this. "Maybe we could do it while she watches? Give her a chance to rest between rounds?"

"What about me?"

Kaworu smiled. "You don't need to rest, Shinji-kun! You have amazing stamina for this!"

The praise only made Shinji blush further. He lowered his bow. "I've just had a lot of practice." He stood up and leaned his cello against its stand. "But I really do need to stop, as nice as our duet was. I need every bit of time to work on Asuka's present." He stood up and stretched.

"You two are... fascinating to observe," Kaworu said. Shinji blushed and ducked his head. "You are not at all the person I expected to meet, Shinji Ikari."

"Eh?" Shinji looked puzzled by the comment. "What do you mean? You knew my name before you came here? You expected to meet me? How?"

"Everyone knows your name. Are you really unaware of your position? You are the famous Third Child. I began reading about you soon after reports of your battles with the Third Angel and the others reached NERV Berlin. But from everything I read, I expected to meet someone... alone, aching, a pure heart of glass, so fragile and clear... but... you are not like that. You... you and the Second Child, you almost glow together," Kaworu said meditatively. "Even now, when she's not here, I can see you both reaching for each other."

Shinji glanced at the wall between Rei's apartment and Misato's. "I know she's there. It's... it's amazing, that feeling. Knowing she's there... I mean, not that she's in Misato-san's apartment, but that she's... um... _there_, for me or... um." Shinji sighed. "I don't even know how to say it. But we... it's like I've found the other half of me. Like I'll never feel alone again, even when she's not next to me. I always know she's... here." He touched his chest over his heart.

When he opened his eyes again, he almost wanted to slink out of sight, Kaworu was staring at him so intently. "Um... sorry. We've had to hide our being together for so long, I haven't really been able to talk to anyone about it before. It's... a really intense feeling, like... like a slow-motion fire."

"I...see..." Kaworu said softly. "It is...fascinating. You... love is nothing like what I expected. I thought I would meet someone full of pain and loneliness... but together you two have found ways to heal that pain, to close the wounds in your hearts, thanks to each other. I cannot wait to see you two perform a duet."

Shinji didn't know what to make of this. "Um... thank you. I... maybe during her party, we might play. No time before then, I don't think." He put his cello in its case and closed it. "I should get back to work on her present, in fact."

Shinji walked over to Rei's dining room table and sat down, an array of paper, pencils, and erasers already in front of him. Kaworu sat down across from him as he picked up the pencil and stared hard at the sheets. Silence reigned for a bit. Kaworu raptly watched Shinji start carefully writing, stop, erase a bit, redo...

"I... wish I could do that."

Shinji looked up. "Mm?"

"What you're doing. I... cannot," Kaworu said, regret in his voice. Or... almost mournfully?

"I... anyone can, Kaworu-kun. Even I didn't just spring to life able to do this. It takes time and work."

Kaworu shook his head. "I... cannot create, not like you. I do not have that... in me."

"You play the violin with pretty good passion, though?"

"Passion, perhaps. But I can only reproduce the work of others. Not... make something new, just from your own mind, just because you wish to." He pulled one of the sheets Shinji had already put to his left closer to him and stared at it. "It is... sublime. I sometimes feel I am on the edge of understanding something profound when I try, but... I am missing something vital that puts it forever beyond my grasp."

"Maybe it will come with time. How long have you been playing?"

"About five months," Kaworu said with the ghost of a smile.

"You're very good for five months. I wonder if us being Children has something to do with it. Asuka has gotten pretty good since she picked it back up again after a couple of years without playing, and Rei is..." Shinji shook his head. "It's almost scary how fast she's getting better. I don't think you've had to show her anything more than once."

Kaworu's smile was less forced now. "I am happy she learns so fast, too. And when her hands are full of viola, she cannot slap me." He almost chuckled.

"Er... why _did_ she slap you that first day?" Shinji suddenly looked awkward as what he'd asked sank in. "Um... if you don't mind me asking."

"Oh, it is quite alright. I... did not understand how much you and the Second Child were together, and made some remarks that Ayanami-san did not like about... your love. So she became angry." He touched his cheek in memory. "I did not realize how much she cares about you both, either. I should apologize to her, later. I apologize to you and the Second Child, too. Hearing you speak of her and your bond today has been... illuminating in many ways. I should not have spoken of it so cavalierly that day. It is... far more than I ever thought."

"We um... Rei and Asuka and I... have um... been through a lot together," Shinji mumbled. "We care about each other a lot, since for a long time it was just us that we could rely on against the Angels. And... we found more in common than we'd thought. So... It just happened, how we came to feel for each other."

Kaworu just stared at him, almost hungrily. "I... even the few days I've been here have been so illuminating. Thank you, Shinji-kun. I very much wanted to meet you. I might have been born to come here, for this. To meet you."

Shinji blushed again and looked away. "I... I'm not that important. Asuka is a genius. Rei is braver than me. Even Horaki-san: She walked into this knowing how dangerous it is, and did it anyway, for her family and Touji."

"Didn't you?"

Shinji shrugged. "I... did it so my _father..._" Kaworu jumped as Shinji suddenly snarled the word. "Wouldn't force Rei to Pilot when she could barely move and was bleeding so much. I'm... I tried to run away, later. I'm just... not as good as the others."

"That's not the Shinji Ikari I read about in the reports. You don't see yourself how others see you."

"I'm not... that great."

Kaworu looked at him, a vague look of confusion on his face. "Does the Second Child think that?"

Shinji's shrunken, nervous look suddenly faded. "No... Asuka... I can believe I'm something better when I'm with her." He started to smile again.

"And you... always feel her with you, yes? So why the fear you are 'not that great'?" Kaworu asked.

Shinji scratched at the sheets for a moment before replying. "Because for most of my life I _knew_ I was nothing, a no one that didn't deserve happiness. Now... she gives me hope that I am wrong. And every day together is... new. As long as I have her, I can... can...," he gestured at the sheets in front of him, "I can do this. I can fight Angels, protect everyone. I can do anything, for her. Make a new me, even."

"Love... and creation," Kaworu said. Shinji wasn't sure he was talking to him anymore. "Thank you, Shinji-kun. I cannot do what you are doing... but... maybe I do not know everything I can do."

.

* * *

.

They were deep into another duet that Kaworu had wheedled out of him when Rei appeared from the entryway. She didn't bother to knock on her own door, instead silently ghosting in until she was standing right behind Nagisa, frowning. "You are not supposed to interrupt his work on her present with your own desires to play, Nagisa," she said coldly.

Shinji marveled at how Kaworu didn't jump at all when Rei spoke from right behind his shoulder. She hadn't made a sound audible over the music, so how had Kaworu known she was there? He was so relaxed. Shinji envied him that.

Kaworu stopped playing and turned his head far enough to smile at Rei. "Welcome home, Ayanami-san. We were just playing a little piece. I know it is about time for me to leave, and wanted to end on a high note."

Shinji grinned a little. Well, they _had_ been playing in E…

Rei did not appear to share his amusement. She fixed Nagisa with a flat stare. "You shall depart. Shinji and I are needed at dinner."

"I am not invited?"

"No. It is 1830. Leave here and return to your accommodations. Our practice will resume tomorrow evening, if not abrogated by events."

Shinji cocked his head. "Events? Is something going on tomorrow, Rei?"

"Major Katsuragi returned home early to inform us that Unit-02's repairs are complete. The reactivation test is tomorrow."

Shinji's eyebrows shot up. Asuka must be… "Ah. Right. That might take up the afternoon. I guess we'll resume on the day after."

Rei swung her stare back at Nagisa. "You will leave now."

Kaworu just smiled, picked up his now packed away violin, and gave her a tiny bow. "As you wish."

For some reason, this made Rei's glare at him turn to liquid nitrogen. "_What was that_?" she hissed.

Kaworu halted in his move towards the door. "I am doing as you said. Is there something wrong?"

"Are you…" Rei seemed to fight for the right word. "_Quoting_ at me?"

"….no?"

Rei still looked like she wanted to throw things at him. "Fine. Go. Away," she bit out, and turned her back on him.

"Goodnight, Shinji-kun," Kaworu smiled back at the Third Child. "Convey my good wishes to the Second Child for a successful reactivation test."

"Goodnight," Shinji called as the grey-haired boy left. He looked at his friend, who was still looking like a bristling cat. "Rei… are you alright?"

"If I find out he was _quoting_ at me…" Rei muttered. "Nnggg! That stupid fish!" She shook herself. "I am alright, Shinji. We should return to Major Katsuragi's apartment immediately. Asuka is excited at the prospect of the reactivation test tomorrow, but also… agitated, due to… other factors."

He nodded. _'Her mother… gods, I hope this goes well. Her mother means even more to her than I do.'_

"Right." He left his cello on the stand. "Let's get back."

.

* * *

.

Being in love had let Shinji learn a lot, and let him pick up some new skills: German cooking, massage, and now reading his girlfriend's mood in the dark by touch alone.

Asuka was taut as a string on his cello.

He knew why. Dinner had been far more subdued than usual. Asuka had swung between giddy anticipation and worried introspection. She'd given Rei a brief hug before she'd left, then grabbed Shinji and hauled him straight to their room and an early bedtime.

She'd hardly said much, just got dressed down for bed and under the covers to cling to him, nearly vibrating. He hadn't said anything either. He could tell she'd talk when she was ready. And it wasn't like laying quietly holding her wasn't one of his favorite things anyway.

It was more than 30 minutes before she said a word. "Thank you," she said softly, and kissed the side of his neck.

He just stroked her back.

"I'm doing my best to freak out now, because we can't afford it tomorrow. I can't give Commander Asshole and Doctor Bitchface any sign I know Mama's in there, or they'll… I don't know, but I bet something terrible. They've kept this secret so long, they can't want anyone to know. So I've got to have a perfect poker face tomorrow."

He nodded. He could tell she just needed to vent the tension where no one but he would see.

She held up a hand in front of his face, just visible in the moonlight through the window. It was almost vibrating. "Look at me. I'm shaking like I just drank three pots of coffee…" She brought her hand back down to his chest right over his heart. It stilled a little.

Abruptly, Asuka rolled so she could get up on her hands and knees. She leaned down to plant a wild, fierce kiss on Shinji's lips. He was surprised, but didn't object at all, enjoying the kiss for a long moment before she stopped and laid back down next to him.

He looked the question at her with a smile.

"Shinji, at pretty much any point in the last ten years I would have _happily_ sawed off my left arm for the chance to see Mama and talk to her again. Now I'm about to. I wouldn't even know she's in there if you and I hadn't started talking, and we figured out that there were too many coincidences in our stories. If we weren't together, I'd never have had this chance to see Mama. And it's all because you got dizzy and held on to me. So… you get a 'thank you' kiss."

He gave a soft laugh in the dark. "You're welcome? Asuka… I can't take all the credit. We're here right now because you were the one brave enough to demand a kiss. I'd never have been brave enough to ask my impossibly hot roommate like you did."

"Let that be a lesson to you, Third Child: Always kiss me. It leads to good things."

"I can see no reason to disagree at all." He closed his eyes and took a deep whiff of her scent. He could nearly feel his own tension floating away. "I'll… make sure I'm there when the test starts. I'll… I don't know, try to talk to you or something if it looks like you're going to let slip something Doctor Akagi would pick up on."

"Good. I… Gott, Shinji. Mama! I… I still can't believe this is real. And not only do I get her back, I get to tell her I've found you." She squeezed him tight. "This… I don't want to get my hopes up too high, but this might be the happiest day I've ever had tomorrow."

Shinji smiled again. "Yet. Try 'yet'."

She nipped the side of his neck. "You, turning into an optimist? The end of the world must be near."

"Until the end of the world, you and me," he said. "Promised."

"Baka." She smiled and let sleep claim her.

* * *

Author's Note, 12JUL16: Sorry for the delay, everyone. Deployment is leaving less time to write than I'd hoped, and we're hitting difficult chapters that can fight me for a while. Do not fear, though: A&amp;T continues, and I have no intention of stopping short of the climax and epilogue I've already got visualized. I've known since I started planning things out what the last 4 lines of A&amp;T would be, and who would say them.

A note of thanks to you all, really. What started as a one-shot WAFFy nothing has become my most popular story, and the fact I can now see A&amp;T mentioned in the same sentence as _Nobody Dies, Once More With Feeling, _and_ The 2nd Try_ is just mind blowing. I have a TVTropes page? O_O

About 2000 more words already down on the next update, which should be sooner and smaller than this one. Thanks for all the reviews!


	30. Ch 28 - Everything I Do Pt 5

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 9.5

**Everything I Do...**

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* * *

'_This is not going to be easy, now or later'_ Ritsuko thought to herself.

She made herself look up at the monitor above the observation window into the Test Cage. If she looked down, she'd have to peer over Maya's shoulder like she used to, and that would make it all but impossible to avoid a smile threatening to break out on her face.

The last few days had been equal measures exhilarating and terrifying. She and Maya had managed to 'have dinner' every night. Ritsuko had taken to carrying around the slightly bulky hand terminal she sometimes used for MAGI access because that meant she and Maya could constantly talk privately through the coding logs.

And talk they did. She'd tried to slow things down, tried to remind herself she was still rebounding from Gendo's mistreatment, her own emotional crash, and near suicide. It had crumbled before Maya's argument that they'd known each other for almost two years, that Ritsuko had known about Maya's crush on her for most of that, and that the two of them starting whatever they were starting was merely a small change of status.

Ritsuko fought down another strong urge to grin. This was _intoxicating_. For all the years she'd spent throwing herself at Gendo, and all the times she had honestly moaned in lustful physical pleasure under him, for he did hit a lot of her buttons, she knew perfectly well she'd never felt even a scrap of emotional involvement from him that she hadn't imagined up out of nothing. But with Maya… She couldn't even look at her without smiling, and know she'd find the younger woman smiling right back. She knew, _knew_ Maya liked to see her and wanted to be around her. She'd spent the last few nights staying up way too late, messaging back and forth with Maya until neither of them could stay awake.

She couldn't help it. She stepped a bit closer and leaned over to see Maya's screen. This let her put her hand on Maya's shoulder and squeeze gently. She could see Maya smile into the screen, her hands still typing steadily at the reactivation test protocols. "Everything looking good?" she asked, for appearances sake.

"Just fine, Akagi-sempai," Maya said cheerfully, giving her a little nod.

Ritsuko just nodded, but smiled internally. One of the things they'd talked about was the need to hide. Second Impact had slightly weakened Japan's general taboo on same-sex couples, but it hadn't gone away entirely, and most gay couples learned to be very quiet about it. Ritsuko had assured Maya she didn't care about that. But Ritsuko herself knew far too much about Commander Ikari's Scenario, and if he ever got wind of the fact Ritsuko was no longer playing on his team (Maya had laughed at that), there was a good chance he'd have them both killed (She hadn't laughed at that. She'd gone pale.). So they had to give no public sign they were… together.

They hadn't slept together, kissed, or even so much as held hands, but she already felt a dozen times closer and happier being with Maya than she had in years pursuing Gendo. She felt positively giddy at times. Maya wanted her just for being her. Maya wanted to hold her, say her name softly, and wake up next to her. Without either of them saying three little words, without a kiss or anything, they were… a couple.

_'I have a girlfriend,'_ Ritsuko thought with mild amazement.

She'd run that little statement past her conscious mind multiple times over the last couple days. It just got better every time. Maya was… amazingly forgiving. Even her involvement in Commander Ikari's Scenario was forgivable, as long as she dedicated herself equally to secretly fighting it, now. Even…

She grimaced. Maya was too good. She didn't deserve her. When she'd explained that as part of keeping Commander Ikari unaware of them, Ritsuko would still have to… come when he sent for her, at night, Maya had just… accepted it. No questions, no reservations. Just 'I understand.' Though her acceptance _might _have been eased by Ritsuko's blushing admission that it would not be Gendo she was thinking of, in the middle if things. And it had been true, too. Gendo had summoned her two nights ago. With Commander Ikari bulling away on top of her, she'd instead pictured it being Maya in her arms, equipped with a toy she already had in her apartment. Her climax had been sudden and surprisingly powerful. Gendo had thought her suddenly increased moans had been his doing. She'd managed to leave before he could see how she kept smiling.

_'And I have started utilizing the most powerful computer array in the world for flirting and ERP with my girlfriend. This is ridiculous. And now… now you have to stop distracting yourself from what's about to happen, Ritsuko. The Second Child is about to reactivate Unit-02.'_ A twinge of guilt stabbed at her. Maya had accepted that they couldn't tell the Children how the Eva's Cores really worked. She'd accepted that far less readily than the other things. Ritsuko had spent years teaching herself to ignore that part of the Evangelion program. Maya's relentless look of hurt at the subject had painfully reawakened Ritsuko's conscience on the matter.

_'And you know from her psych profile that Asuka would give __**anything**__ to be able to know where her mother's soul is. And you've said nothing.'_

She watched on the remote camera feed to the Entry Plug as the Second Child got into her seat and the hatch sealed. The Plug spun down into its slot in the spine of Unit-02 and began to fill with LCL. The young Pilot opened her mouth and let her lungs fill with the orange liquid with the ease of long practice. A trail of bubbles trickled upwards from her mouth as she settled back, her eyes closed and face relaxed.

'_One day you're going to have to face her reaction when she learns you knew where her mother was all along, and kept it from her.'_

Ritsuko sighed quietly. If they all lived through this, she'd need the rest of her life to even begin atoning for all this. That Maya could provisionally forgive her gave her some hope, at least. She turned to Maya.

"Commence activation," she ordered. "Connect main power to all circuits."

"Main power supply connecting... complete. Commencing activation system," Maya responded. "Activation voltage is approaching the critical level. 0.6, 0.3, Rising."

"Begin the second phase of the activation system."

"Pilot has begun link-up," one of the senior techs reported.

"Entry has started. LCL electrolyzed," Maya recited. "Initiating first connection. Data received. Reconfirming. Pattern green."

All normal so far. "Start system Phase 2."

"Synapses inserted. Junctions connected," the senior tech said.

"Transmitting pulse," Maya said. "No problems with initial contact. Harmonics are all normal. Checklist satisfactory up to 2500. Initiating 3rd connection. Self-psychograph is… active," she reported.

Active? Ritsuko switched her look to the Pilot readouts. Asuka's psychograph was… a little more erratic than usual. "Pilot Soryu, is everything alright on your end?"

"Just fine, Doctor," the young woman said. "I'm just eager to get my Evangelion back in action. Saving the world in Unit-03 is nice and all, but Unit-02 is my baby. This is where I belong. So let's get this kitty purring." She shot a challenging look at the communications window. "I'm ready. So is Unit-02."

Another pang of guilt shot through her. She managed to keep her face blank. "Initiate A-10 Nerve connection," Ritsuko said.

"Clear up to 2580." Maya said calmly. "Counting down to the absolute borderline. 0.9, 0.7, 0.5, 0.4, 0.3... Absolute borderline passed. Unit-02 has activated successfully."

.

* * *

.

Asuka tried not to jitter in her seat. She'd _never_ been this nervous in Unit-02 before, not since the first time she'd activated it ten years ago. She couldn't stop her hands from gripping the control yokes so hard she could hear the plastic creak. She hardly noticed breathing LCL anymore, but for now she tried to concentrate on the greater effort it took to pump the liquid in and out of her lungs versus air. It helped distract her, a little.

'_Mama Mama Mama Mama Mama…'_

Ok, it didn't distract her very much. And now the wait was over, the desperate wish she'd cried herself to sleep by too many times over the last ten years was about to come true…

"Absolute borderline passed. Unit-02 has activated successfully," she heard Lieutenant Ibuki say from the observation room.

The walls of the Entry Plug went through their prismatic spray of wild colors and stripes before settling into the fake-transparent view of the outside. Asuka felt the subtle tingle on her mind of the Eva, the same feeling she'd grappled with and tried to master every time she synched with her Evangelion. But now she paid more attention than ever. This time it wasn't about trying to force a giant doll to obey her.

This time… it was Mama.

She calmed herself as much as she could, and reached out like she and Shinji had in Unit-03. The smooth wall of presence in her mind, the way she'd always perceived Unit-02 as, was waiting… but this time she forced herself not to visualize it as a wall, but a curtain… and then tried to push beyond it.

The barrier rippled… waved… and parted.

Asuka could feel it change. She'd never tried this before… The Eva had always been an object, a thing she had to wrestle under control of her will. This time, she tentatively reached out, sending her thoughts inward to the Core…

'_Mama? Are… are you there? It's Asuka. I'm… I'm here.'_

There was a pause, like a held breath in her mind.

And then the Eva _responded_.

.

* * *

.

"A…Akagi-sempai, the… I don't… Pilot Soryu's readings are going crazy!" Lieutenant Ibuki said worriedly from her console.

Misato tried not to react, but then realized she would normally. Asuka's heart rate had been higher than normal already, but her readouts on the biofeedback monitors had just gone wild, her pulse skyrocketing. She could feel Shinji tense as a bowstring next to her. The right hand of his plugsuit squeaked as he made a tight fist. He looked at her, his eyes pleading.

"Her psychograph is… there's all sorts of strange readings popping in. It's getting unstable," Ritsuko confirmed from the nearby console she'd moved to. "Synch rate at 52.8%...55%...68%...84%! Asuka, what's _happening_ in there? Do we need to abort?" Her hands moved to the glass cover over the red Emergency Power Cutoff lever.

'_Oh don't you touch that thing, Rits! I think Asuka would rather die. And if she really is making contact with her mother and you pull the plug, I'm afraid as soon as she gets out of the Entry Plug she'll steal my pistol and empty it into you._' Misato almost spoke over her college friend. "Asuka, are you alright?"

.

* * *

.

"I'm fine! This is my Eva! I have… I will get this under control. Do not stop the test!" Asuka almost shouted at them. _'Do NOT take this away from me, you fake-blonde bitch! MAMA!'_ she managed not to add out loud. It was a small miracle she wasn't crying.

From joy.

_~ASUKA! ASUKA! Daughterlovechildhereherehereyou'realivealive!~ _The 'voice' was oddly blurred, like listening to two stereo speakers not quite in synch. But it was definitely, utterly, absolutely the voice she remembered from her earliest memories.

Her mother was _alive_.

_~Pro-protectlovedaughteralive-ve!~ _the voice almost shouted back at her. _~Here-ere!~ _Again, that odd echo.

'_Mama, it's me! Your Asuka! You've been here with me the whole time!' _She couldn't stop it. The tears started to form at the edges of her eyes. She closed them and tilted her head back, trying to ensure no one could see them.

_~Here-ereYesYes-es!~_

_._

* * *

.

"Synch Rate now 94.3%!" Lieutenant Ibuki reported.

"That's it, I'm stopping this now. There's something very wrong here," Doctor Akagi said. "Cut the power and disconnect the nerve feeds before something happens to her."

"Doctor Akagi, wait!" Shinji burst out. "Don't cut her off!"

The scientist shot him an incredulous look. "Shinji-kun, we have no idea what happens once she passes 100% Synch, but I don't want to find out the hard way! And I think I know more about how the Evas work than you do!"

"But you've never sat in one. You don't know what it's like. The way it feels when you just... open up to the synchronization is... I can't even describe it. Let her be. Asuka's got this. Right, Asuka?" Shinji raised his voice and spoke towards the microphone near the monitor at the front of the room.

.

* * *

.

"Yes! Everything's fine! Don't shut it down! Listen to the baka!" Figuring everyone was probably staring at Shinji, Asuka took the chance to quickly wipe at her eyes. _'Mama! That's him! My Shinji! I found him! He found me! He loves me!'_

She sent a cascade of images of the two of them. Mindful of her accident with Hikari, she made sure to leave out any images of the two of them _in flagrante delicto_. She let many, many images of him lying next to her at night, smiling in the aftermath, tell that story.

_~Surprise! Affection. Joy! Loss. Separation.~_

'_I've missed you, Mama… but you were always with me!'_ She didn't want to stop this, but she had to. She couldn't maintain her composure much longer. _'I… I have to go, Mama! We can't let them know about you! But I promise! We'll save you! We got Hikari out, we'll get you out too! Somehow! I want you to meet Shinji!'_

_~Asuka-ka! Don't leave-ve! LivDie with me.~_

Asuka jerked in shock. What? The double-echo thing was getting worse, but… that couldn't be what Mama had said, right? _'Mama?'_

_._

* * *

_._

"Her Synch Rate is 98.5%! I'm pulling the plug!" Doctor Akagi said. "Maya, shut it down, now!"

"Beginning termination program!" Maya responded, fingers flying over her keys. Her hands froze. "Unit-02 is rejecting the signal!"

.

* * *

_._

_~Die. No! Live! You must live! My daughter! Stay here. Die with me.~_

It was distinctly two voices talking to her now. One joyful, loving, eager to see her… the other… almost the same, but… calling for her to die also...

The voices were… fighting? Diverging? And getting louder.

_~You are always with me! Go! My beautiful girl!~_

_~Die with me…~_

_~No!~_

_~Die for me…~_

_._

* * *

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"Synch Rate at _99.8%_!" Maya shouted.

"Cut the power!" Doctor Akagi ordered.

.

* * *

.

This… Asuka didn't know what this was. Both voices _sounded_ like Mama, but… one was… wrong. Dark. Broken. Happy to see her as the other one, but… it wanted her to join it in… NO!

Asuka pulled back, withdrawing from the intoxicating joy of finally speaking with her mother again. She tried to aim her thoughts at the 'good' voice. _'Mama, I have to go. I'll see you again soon! I love you!~_

_~Love!~_

_~Die… Love… Die…~_

_._

* * *

.

"Power cut! Thirty seven seconds of power remaining in Unit-02's batteries!" Maya reported. "Sh...what? Synch Rate...Synch Rate is dropping! 94.9%... 90%... 85%... stabilizing at 78.7%..."

Doctor Akagi slumped slightly in relief. Then she threw a glare at Misato and Shinji before leaning in close to look over Maya's shoulder. "Alright. So what the _Hell_ just happened?"

Maya shook her head. "The MAGI are unable to reach any conclusions yet. But… the instability… originated in the Core?" She tapped at the keyboard. "Unit-02 is responding again. Cutting links and starting shutdown protocols. Entry Plug ejection signal accepted."

Shinji stiffened. He could see Misato's jaw minutely tighten. They both knew what that had to mean. Asuka had succeeded, at least partially. But succeeded in a way that was entirely too noticeable. This would be hard to pass off as not worth investigating, if that was even possible.

'_Still,'_ Shinji consoled himself, _'it worked! Asuka has to have made some kind of contact with her mother! And that means… I can too.'_

"Asuka, what happened? Your readings are all over the place!" Doctor Akagi's question dragged his attention back to the moment.

On the monitor, Asuka blinked and focused on her questioner like she was coming back from somewhere else. "I… it was so easy. I don't know what you did in those repairs, Doctor, but… it was easier than ever to synchronize with Unit-02. It felt great!" Behind her, the Entry Plug flashed through it's shutdown cycle, ending in half-shadowed blank walls.

"You nearly hit 100% Synchronization, Asuka. We don't know what that would do to you, and that's probably not a good thing to find out the hard way. We're going to need to go over everything that happened in detail."

"You handle the technical side, Doctor. I'll debrief my Pilot," Misato interjected.

Doctor Akagi didn't look very happy at that. "I'm going to need to question her as well. She went from below 50% synchronization to barely short of 100% and completely unknown consequences! Or not unknown: what if she'd been absorbed like the Horaki girl?"

"Then tell me _why_ that happened, _Doctor Akagi_," Misato shot right back. "This is the same Pilot we had last time. Only Unit-02 has changed. If the instability originated in the Core, _that's on you_."

Doctor Akagi looked like she was going to escalate further and opened her mouth, but suddenly stopped, a strange look passing over her face. "...right. Of course. See to your Pilot, Major. I'll… I'll talk to you about what we've both gotten later."

Misato jerked a tight nod at her and turned to leave. "Shinji-kun, follow me. We're done here."

Shinji nodded and fell in behind her. He didn't know what to make of it, when he looked back, and saw Doctor Akagi with her head hung low, hunched over the control console… and Lieutenant Ibuki touching her hand gently.

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* * *

.

The meeting room was as Spartan as possible, just a table, a few chairs, and MAGI terminal in the center of the table. Misato pointed Asuka to one of the seats. The Second Child silently took her place, her hair still damp from her brief shower to wash out the LCL. Misato sat opposite her, Shinji already seated on her left.

Before Misato could even say a word, the door slid open again to admit a likewise still damp First Child, fresh from her own cleanup. She'd sat in Unit-00 during Asuka's reactivation test, on Doctor Akagi's orders, as a precaution against any more berserker events. Now, she took a seat on Misato's right, giving the appearance of Asuka facing a board of her Ops Commander and fellow Pilots.

Asuka tried to make her fists unclench below the table. She could feel her fingernails nearly cutting into her palms, she was squeezing so tight. But she had to keep a solid poker face for this, no matter how much she wanted to scream and cry and run right now.

"Alright, Asuka. This debriefing is being recorded," Misato began with a subtle reminder. "I'm going to keep this as brief as possible, since the early indications are the sudden surge in your Synch Rate was due to something on Unit-02's side, possibly due to a side-effect of the repairs. So just tell us what happened from your side, at your own pace."

Asuka swallowed, trying to get control of herself. She'd have to speak slowly and carefully. If she said one word about Mama, she knew she might not be able to stop her mask from crumbling. And she'd have to talk fast. She needed to get out of here and somewhere the MAGI weren't watching before she couldn't hold it in anymore.

Suddenly, her task got easier. Under the table, out of sight of the watching cameras and unheard by the microphone, she felt a foot brush against her leg. Shinji's poker face was pretty good. No sign of what he was doing showed on his face, but the mere contact with her lover and wingmate was enough to give her the boost she needed to get through this.

She took a deep breath and began. "Well, it started normally. I could feel the systems coming online, and the startup sequence was as usual. When I tried to synch, the connection was just… sharper, clearer. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary…"

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* * *

.

None of them said a word once they packed into the back of Misato's car and began the slow ride to the surface from the Geofront. Despite the offer, no one sat in the passenger seat. Asuka was perfectly happy to be seated in the middle of the Renault's tiny backseat, comfortingly squeezed between two people she loved. Her grip on Shinji's hand was steel-hard. She hadn't blinked more than once when Rei took her left hand as well.

Soon enough, if not soon enough to Asuka's fraying composure, they reached the vehicle transport train's terminal on the surface. Misato drove them out onto the streets of Tokyo-3 and pointed them northward, heading for home. She waited until the station was well into their rear-view mirror before she spoke. "Alright, Asuka, we're clear. I swept the car for bugs this morning." She flicked a glance at the redhead in the car's mirror. "So… it worked?"

A sob burst from Asuka's mouth. She gasped for breath and clenched her friends' hands even tighter. "She's _alive. _My mother is_ alive."_

Her mask of control shattered and she gave up trying to continue, her head dropping back against the seatback as tears streamed freely down her face. "Mama is alive," she gasped between sobs. "We can save her."

She could feel Shinji's arm wrap around her from her right. Holding her as she cried in public for the first time in ten years. Slightly awkwardly, Rei's joined in a moment later.

Misato just pursed her lips at the confirmation of their theories and drove a little faster. Home was needed.

.

* * *

.

Asuka had won a small measure of control back by the time they reached the apartment. She refused to let go of Shinji at all once they left the car, and only reluctantly let go of Rei, and that only due to sheer physical difficulty of walking with both of them clamped to her. Once in the front door, Asuka managed to raise her head and quietly tell Misato, "Shinji and I are going to our room for a little while. I need some… time to… to…"

Misato just nodded. "Rei and I will make something for dinner. Take your time. I'll come knock in an hour if you're still… resting."

Asuka jerked one nod, then staggered towards the living room and the hall to their bedroom, Shinji still held tightly next to her. Rei stared after them, her face as blank and stiff as it had ever been, but this time with recognition that her friend was in turmoil and she did not know what to do.

She turned to Misato. "Major Katsuragi… I am… I do not know what to do. Asuka is… undone. I have never seen her… fall apart like this. Should… should we not have done this?"

Misato shook her head. "No, Rei, this was… you have no idea how much Asuka's mother means to her. Once she had the idea that her mother might be in her Eva's Core, I don't think she'd have let _anything_ stand in the way of trying to communicate with her like she did today." Misato looked at Rei, a thought striking her. "What about you, Rei?"

Rei looked uncomfortable. "Me?"

"Your Eva. If our theory is right, it might be your mother in Unit-00. Have you ever… felt anything? Tried to talk to her? Asuka said you told her 'she is angry' after the last berserker event."

Rei looked… almost frightened. "I… I cannot talk about it. Please…" she pleaded.

Misato's eyebrows rose. She'd never seen Rei _scared_ of something. "Alright," she eventually conceded.

.

* * *

.

It took over half an hour of clinging to Shinji, weeping, and occasionally whispering 'She's alive!' before Asuka could manage anything like a stable expression. Shinji didn't say a word, just holding her while she let ten years of pain and loss pour out of her shattered mask. He'd seen Asuka without her clothes a lot over the last few months, but never this naked. He knew how much of a privilege she was giving him in this, too. Despite the tears, he felt a little glow of warmth that she would let him be this close to her, with all her defenses crumbled, and that she trusted him to be the one to hold her while she wept.

She signaled her finally getting a grip on her emotions by squeezing him almost painfully tight. She didn't even have to say anything as inadequate as 'thank you'. She just gave him a gentle kiss and wiped the last of the tears from her eyes. "I… She answered! It was her! I... a-and we can _save her_!"

"Save her?"

"We can get her out! Hikari came out, so we know it's possible! And it was definitely Mama. So it's almost sure that your mother is in Unit-01!" Asuka said, an amazed smile dancing on her lips.

Shinji smiled back, but it quickly faded. "I... I want to see her too, but..."

"But what?" Asuka stared at him. "I... even with the... weirdness, aren't you still eager at the idea of having your mother back?"

He nodded a little, but his expression was still pensive. "I.. don't think it will be that easy."

"What do you...oh."

He nodded again. "My father knows perfectly well she's in there. If it was easy to get her out, he'd have done it already. There has to be a reason why not. I don't know... maybe Hikari came back out because an Eva can only hold one person? Or..." His expression got gloomier. "Maybe the Evas don't even work without a soul in them. Maybe mother _had_ to do this, if they knew the Angels would come one day and attack."

Asuka hummed thoughtfully. "Mama... did say something about 'protecting me'. Maybe... maybe that's it. But... I... Shinji there were two voices."

His brow furrowed. "Two?"

"It started off like it was just two speakers just out of synch. Then it... separated more. They were... both Mama, but... one was the Mama I remember, loving, protective... but..." Asuka pinched her eyes shut and burrowed her face into his shoulder. "The other one... wanted me to die with her. Or for her. Or both. I... tried to talk to the good one. But... I don't know. They were _both_ Mama! Just... wrong."

"But it was her," Shinji said. "And that means... they're not really gone. Maybe we can get them out, maybe we can't, but... just knowing they're still alive, still with us.. every time we sit in out Evas..." Shinji closed his eyes too, and almost held off a tear.

Asuka smiled sadly and pushed herself up onto her arms, dipping back down to kiss him again. "Yeah... And now we can fight even harder, knowing they're with us." She sat up, her now badly wrinkled student uniform looking the worse for wear after so long laying in bed with him. "Let's get changed into something more comfortable, and go tell the good news to Misato and Wondergirl. And then some celebratory dinner. They're alive!"

.

* * *

.

Misato took a deep, slow sip of her beer before putting it back down in front of her on the dining room table. She looked like she was torn between grinning hugely for them and deep thought over the implications. "Two voices, huh? I... that doesn't sound like anything good, though."

Asuka shrugged slightly in the seat across from her. "I know. And it's worrying me more the more I look at it, but I'm still just so happy she's alive to let it get to me right now. Just knowing she's there for me to talk to next time I'm in Unit-02 is the best thing I've found in years." She looked over her shoulder at Shinji, seated next to her. "Well... almost the best thing. Love you, baka-Shinji." She leaned over to plant a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks to you falling head-over-heels for me, we ended up here."

Shinji flushed at the praise and kiss. He still couldn't get used to the rush of feeling every time she said something like that in front of other people. "Y-you're welcome," he sputtered.

Rei looked even more torn. She'd hugged Asuka tightly after she and Shinji had emerged from their room, relief that her friend was back in control of herself warring with worry like Misato's. Rei's face had gotten flatter and flatter as Asuka explained what had truly gone on during the reactivation test. "Two voices..." she echoed quietly. "But definitely your mother..."

Asuka nodded. "That I'm 100% sure of. And she recognized me. And...ahem!" Asuka squeezed Shinji's hand. "I managed to tell her about my dear baka here, too. I think she was happy for me. She approves of him, I think."

Shinji turned redder and tried to sink into his chair.

Asuka smiled and poked him in the head with her free hand. "Look on the bright side, Shinji. Next time you're in Unit-01, you get to tell your mother about your impossibly hot and awesome girlfriend. Picture that."

While Shinji dissolved into further embarrassed goo, Asuka turned her smile on Rei. "And... you said 'she is angry', Rei? Maybe... you can talk to her, right?"

Rei looked like she wanted to cry, or hide. "I... I cannot talk about it."

Abruptly, she pushed her chair back from the table and stood up. "I have to go." The First Child quickly turned and headed for the door.

The other three exchanged surprised looks. "Rei, wait, you don't have to-" Misato started.

"I have to go. I'm sorry," Rei said without looking back. She left the room at nearly a run.

.

* * *

.

Finding Nagisa was not difficult. Rei knew better than to do anything visible with her AT-Field when she was anywhere she could be seen, but unfurling it just enough to look around the city and sense where that stupid fish was hiding was simple, at least enough for a direction, and she could pinpoint him easily once closer. A convenient city taxi got her to within a few hundred meters of him in one of the city's more parks on the northeastern fringe.

'_Isolated, as well. Good. He and I will be having _words_ that I do not particularly want overheard.'_

She quickly found him on one of the overlooks of the hillside park, staring down at the city coming to life in the sunset. She was quiet, but she was sure he could sense her approach just as easily as she could feel his presence getting closer.

His smile broadened a bit as she rapidly walked closer. "Hello, Ayanami-san. I sense this is not a chance encou-OW!"

She slapped him on the right cheek this time. The sense of balance was an extra bit of satisfaction.

Nagisa pulled himself off the fence rail he'd stumbled against. "What did I do this time?" he said with some surprise. "I have not even spoken to you since lunchtime."

"This is _your fault, _you… you… _stupid Rainbow Trout!_" Rei shouted at him. "She is crying and hurt and upset and I don't know what to do and yet she _still _ tries to make me feel better and I just had to leave her and run away because if I don't she'll ask why I can't say anything or she'll get hurt and aaaaRRRGH!" Rei said in one long blast. She raised her hand to smack him again.

This time The Fifth Child ducked out of arm's reach. "Please slow down and explain. I do not understand." He rubbed his cheek. "And I wish to avoid being slapped."

"Asuka! She attempted communication with her mother's soul in Unit-02's Core during the reactivation test this afternoon, and _succeeded_! She _cried_! I have never seen her like this! She was… so happy, but couldn't stop crying once she began. And now she is asking me about my Evangelion, and if it is _my_ mother in there, and I cannot even discuss it without being terrified that Commander Ikari or your masters will learn of it and kill them! She is upset and wants to help me and I cannot even explain why I don't have a mother without endangering her. And the longer I am silent the more I hate how I have to lie to them like this! _Which is your fault!_ I was going to tell them everything about me! I was not afraid of them rejecting me, because I know they love me! But now… now I have to be silent and lie to protect them, because of you. I am now _afraid _of the day Asuka or Shinji ask me why I never said anything about the souls in their Evas…" Rei ran out of steam and slumped against the railing a few meters from him. "I hate you," she finished weakly.

"I am sorry. This is for their own protection. The men you call my masters have spilled a lot of blood to keep their secret, and would think nothing of erasing the Second Child if they learned she knew too much. The same for the Fourth. They would hesitate only a little even for the Third. That they know of the souls in the Cores is dangerous enough," Nagisa said gently. "People have died for knowing less."

"I _know_!" Rei spat at him. "I love them and it hurts to even think that I'm lying to them in silence, or of them coming to harm because of things they… they should have a _right_ to know!" She waved her arms wildly, more animated than Nagisa had ever seen. "Asuka was _crying_. She _never_ cries! Ever! That's how much knowing her mother was in her Eva meant to her! And… and now I'm scared that one day soon she or Shinji are going to ask me if I knew about their mother's, and why didn't I tell them and… and…" She looked at him with eyes that burned at him with matching pain and fear. "I cannot bear the thought they would hate me. That kind of betrayal they could not forgive."

"Did you know?" Nagisa asked quietly.

"I don't even know!" Rei shouted at him again. "Everything before I weaned myself of the drugs is a fog. I _think _I knew that the Commander's wife was in Unit-01 for a while, but I was so dulled and numb from the drugs I never even put the logic together that meant that was also Shinji's mother! It never even occurred to me to contemplate it, or tell him! And I knew nothing about Unit-02 even existing until it arrived here. It meant nothing to the Commander's Scenario, so he never told me about it!"

"If you didn't know, then why are you scared? I have seen you all together. They… the bond you have with them is almost as bright as the one they have with each other. Do you really think they'd abandon you, not trust you when you say you didn't know?"

"I don't kno-...wait, you can see our bonds?"

Two pairs of red eyes met. "I...yes," Nagisa said. "I do not think it's like yours, but… I can see something. AT-Fields shine to me. Your light… brightens around them. And… I truly apologize for what I said when I first arrived. I did not understand their bond." Kaworu said. "Nor yours with them. I came here… please understand, I read all about Shinji Ikari, the famous Third Child. SEELE has all of NERV's files on him. I read about someone who was unwilling to be a Pilot, but successful at it anyway. Someone who had few or no friends. Someone alone, fragile, but pure. The very essence of a Lilim heart."

Kaworu shifted, levering himself up off the railing and turning to face Rei. "But then I came here. Earlier than I thought I would. I was so happy, to finally leave the lab SEELE had raised me in, and be allowed to meet this person. Yes, it was also to obey the Call, coming closer like this, but… to meet him, someone who had come to personify everything I knew about the Lilim so perfectly."

He stepped closer, right in front of her. "But then I met him. He was everything I had read about but… so different, as well. I did not expect to see him and the Second Child together like that. I have never even _read_ about anything like that before! They… they are… Lilim are supposed to be _isolated_, separate, each alone behind their AT-Field! But those two… they are _nothing_ like that! They are… I can't even describe it! Like two halves of a dance! They're constantly reaching for each other, even when they aren't even in the same room! They bend and curl around each other like two pieces of the same fire! It is… the Lilim part of me calls out to it, aching for something like that! I… I can _feel_ the emptiness in me where something like that might go, but… I cannot _understand _it!"

He put his hands on Rei's shoulders and very lightly shook her. "It is something that… I can feel part of me _hungering_ for, even as the rest of me cannot even grasp it. She… the Second Child is… she is what makes him glow, and vice versa. I… cannot wish to harm that. Him or her, not when they each are so much an integral part of the other's happiness. It is… like the Call, it fills that emptiness inside like nothing else. I… I wish I could have something like that." He looked right at her. "Do you understand what I mean?"

His eyes widened as Rei grabbed his shirt collar in both hands and yanked him closer. "Listen to me well, you stupid fish. I _had_ something like that. When I told them I loved them I felt better than I ever have before. They accepted me! I was not alone! I felt better just being around them! _And now because of you I have to flee from them and withhold from them everything I wish to tell them!_ Your masters have _robbed me of my greatest joy!_ And you even _standing here_ threatens everything! It is fantastic that you now begin to understand why I am so ready to end you if you make any move that might threaten them! But… _you will look me in the eye when I am talking to you, Rainbow Trout!"_

Kaworu had looked away and sweat started heavily beading on his forehead. "I… do not know if that is a good idea…"

"_Why not? _I am talking to you!"

"Please understand! This body has urges and drives that I cannot control!"

Rei's eyes narrowed. "I am well aware of the compulsion the Call exerts on you, _Tabris_. That is no excuse. You bear that every moment and manage to look at me other times. Do so now."

"Not that urge! The Lilim ones!"

"...what."

"All of my will goes to suppressing the Call! I have little left for… um… stopping the others."

"Fifth Child, if you do not start making sense _right now_, I will bounce you off a tree again."

Kaworu swallowed heavily. "...please do not look down."

Rei looked down.

There was a long moment of very tense silence.

"...you have _got_ to be kidding me," Rei said tightly.

"I can't help it! It doesn't listen to me! You're being all hot and angry and alive and holding me close and it just… goes off by itself!" Nagisa almost wailed.

Rei looked at him like he'd sprouted another head. "I have slapped you, yelled at you, and I threaten to kill you in practically every conversation we have ever had, and this _turns you on_?" Rei's eyes started to glow. "You… _stupid fish!_ This is just making me angrier!"

They both jumped and Rei's eyes darted downward again. "...oh come _on_!"

"I can't stop it! It's a rather _intense_ feedback loop!" he said helplessly. "The Lilim parts of my mind are… _making suggestions_ for things they want to do with you! You are unfortunately _very _attractive!"

Rei's eyes were small, dangerously narrowed lamps now. "I have a suggestion too, then."

"...yes?"

"_DIE, STUPID FISH!"_

_._

* * *

.

Author's Note, 23JUL16: Well, this time the words just flowed. And I hope you all enjoy the WAFF, tears, and Rei savagely beating a fish. Next one may take a bit longer, and I'd like to wrap up _A Crown of Stars_, which is hovering at maybe 3-5 scenes from finished. Keep hitting me with reviews, I love to know when people like something, and love it when I see how you all speculate.


	31. Ch 29 - Everything I Do Pt 6

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 9.6

**Everything I Do...**

.

.

* * *

"She then proceeded to give him one of the most thorough beatings I've ever seen from a woman, sir. She chased him around for a while with a tree limb, yelling something about... fish. We weren't close enough to hear everything. He managed to get her to stop hitting him after the second branch broke on his head. They exchanged some further words, and then left separately," Agent Nakamura, the Section 2 team leader tasked with the Fifth Child's surveillance, completed his report. He stood at attention, waiting for the Supreme Commander of NERV to digest his… odd report.

The Fifth Child had been odd enough, spending his time afterschool wandering the city seemingly at random, though MAGI analysis had revealed he was actually slowly covering the entire area over the Geofront, centered directly over the midpoint under downtown. Only the portions covered by Lake Ashi were not touched. He rarely interacted with anyone, but spent a lot of time watching crowds. Lately he seemed to have added couples to his particular attention. They had no idea why.

Then he had begun spending long periods of time in the First Child's Apartment, in the company of the Third. Closer surveillance had revealed only lots of practice with stringed instruments going on, and occasional conversation about inconsequential topics. Various surveillance devices had been left in place, but they always seemed to fail after only a short while in the Fifth Child's presence.

Today, the Fifth Child had resumed his not-as-random-as-they-appeared wanderings of the city, covering a portion of the perimeter up in the hills overlooking the city. He had simply found an overlook and spent the time staring down at Tokyo-3.

Then the First Child had appeared. They had spoken, he put his hands on her shoulders, she pulled them close by his shirt collar, for all appearances like a couple about to take advantage of privacy and a spectacular view to indulge in some stolen kisses.

...right up until the point she had screamed '_Die, stupid fish!'_ in his face and begun hitting him. Shouting and running had ensued. Agent Nakamura was somewhat concerned. He'd never even heard of such behavior from the famously quiet First Child before. It did not appear to disturb Commander Ikari, though it was hard to tell when he required Agent Nakamura to deliver his report from 20m back from the Commander's desk.

Commander Ikari's glasses glittered in the sunset light reflected down into the Geofront. "The First and Fifth Children then returned to their residences without further incident?" he said calmly.

"Yes, sir. The Fifth Child is very regular. It is unlikely that he will emerge from his room until he departs for school in the morning. Our teams have established his routine in detail. Though…" He hesitated.

"Proceed," Commander Ikari rumbled.

"Sir, he has at times given signs that he is perfectly aware not just of our surveillance, but is able to pinpoint our agents even at extreme distances. He made _eye contact_ with one of our snipers watching him from seven hundred meters. And smiled at him. I do not think we can effectively observe him without his awareness."

The Commander did not seem surprised. "Very well. Continue the surveillance, and increase the weapons teams. Even if he is aware of them, it does not matter. He knows we would be watching him. I will deal with the First Child. Dismissed."

"Yes, sir." The Section 2 Agent departed quietly.

Silence reigned for a minute before either of the two men behind the desk spoke.

"This is unusual behavior for Rei," Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki ventured.

"She can sense his origin. Her hostility is instinctive. We expected this," Gendo replied, still staring into the distance over his linked hands.

"Not direct physical confrontation, though. Is there a danger? Could it cause..." The older man trailed off.

"Neither they or the MAGI reported any appearance of AT-Field phenomena. If Rei truly meant to damage him, that would have been obvious. Her conditioning is holding," Gendo said calmly. "Doctor Akagi reported no abnormalities in her last deep scan and upload beyond the AT-Field spikes we also saw in the other Children, which she attributed to exposure to the Fourteenth Angel. Her medication moderates her emotions, yes, but the levels were established and balanced for her regular pattern of life. It is not surprising that they would be inadequate to deal with the impulses that come from being in close and frequent proximity to what we suspect the Fifth Child is."

He reached for the phone recessed into the surface of the desk. He pressed a single number for one of the few pre-sets.

It rang twice before a calm, soft voice answered. "Yes?"

"Rei, report to my office immediately after school tomorrow."

"Yes, sir."

Gendo hung up without any further words. He finally turned his chair to face the older man. "I will see about her intentions. Her hostility to the Fifth Child will be a useful aid when the time comes to remove SEELE's pet creature. We will also have Doctor Akagi re-balance her medication for better control of her emotions in the meantime. She can do the blood draw and necessary tests tomorrow when Rei reports. That matter is easy. We have more problems than how to keep Rei from killing the Fifth Child until it is the proper time. Report."

Fuyutsuki reached down to touch a spot on the desk. The embedded monitor came to life, displaying several pictures of innocuous marks on seemingly random trash cans, walls, and hallway panels in places around the Geofront and city above. "Our suspicions were correct. Someone has been leaving dead drop marks and other signs on places Kaji identified as SEELE watch points. Someone not him: The MAGI confirm he's been nowhere near most of these places since we barred him from access to Central Dogma."

Fuyutsuki straightened back up. "We have more SEELE moles about than just him."

"Why haven't the MAGI's own surveillance caught who has been placing the marks?"

"They're all made at times the camera's are conveniently obscured, watching in different directions, or in blind spots. More troubling is that the Geofront ones mean that they have at least one person inside NERV with access." Fuyutsuki sighed. "As we expected."

"The old men would hardly be so incompetent as to allow themselves only one spy here, and one we know about to boot. It does not matter. We are close to the end now, and our security measures and the MAGI will keep them unable to completely determine our plans until it is too late for them to stop us," Gendo said, not overly troubled. "However, we need to increase our security in key places. We are still vulnerable to one of their agents making inconvenient discoveries."

"Or targeting the Children," Fuyutsuki pointed out.

Gendo only grunted. "The Second and Fourth are irrelevant. The Second was always expendable, and the Fourth is useful only because her Eva has an S2 Organ. The Second and Third have already demonstrated it will respond to other Pilots. See to it being tested with the Dummy Plug system before we allow the Fifth to try. SEELE may have barred us officially from using that option, but I still want it ready in case we are forced to eliminate the Fifth and the Fourth is unreliable."

Fuyutsuki raised his eyebrows. "So no protective measures for the Children at this time? If SEELE has men in the Geofront, they almost certainly have them in the city. And the Children are natural targets, far easier to reach than the Evas themselves."

Gendo pressed the button again, shutting down the monitor. "They need the Angels defeated for their plan to work as much as we do. It is unlikely they will move against our capacity to fight until the last three are dead. Nevertheless, order Section 2 to move to threat condition Delta-2, and increase counter-surveillance measures on the school and Major Katsuragi's apartment. That should keep SEELE from sniffing too close for now."

"And the Fifth? Major Katsuragi was… vociferous when she inspected his current lodgings," Fuyutsuki prodded. "Do we move him?"

Gendo waved his right hand, dismissing the probe. "I will decide that once I speak to Rei. She will make an excellent guard dog for the Fifth, if she can restrain her instincts to eliminate him. We shall see."

.

* * *

.

Rei put the phone down with a small frown. Despite the typically curt order, she could guess what Commander Ikari wanted to see her about. Her… aggressive treatment of the Fifth Child was atypical of her, and he likely wanted an explanation.

Rei rolled over and tried to settle herself to sleep. It was not easy. She still felt tense and wound up. She had been afraid to face her loves after fleeing like that, so had sent an apologetic text message and made a small dinner alone. Forsaking eating with her 'family' and enjoying Shinji's cooking was only adding to her turmoil.

That _stupid_ fish! He'd… he'd… "Grrrah!" Rei growled to herself. Her whole body was itchy! When he'd put his hand on her shoulders, their AT-Fields had rubbed against each other like there was live current in his hands. The sheer _alien_ nature of it made it feel like his hands were still here, touching her. And then he'd… 'Don't look down', he'd said. What did he think that would make her do?! And hadn't _that_ little 'touch' been even worse? She could _still_ feel it.

She rolled over again and forced her body to shut up, trying to focus on what he'd been saying before hormones had interrupted things. He could see bonds, perhaps not like she could, but enough to understand now why she'd been so angry when he'd hinted at interfering with Shinji and Asuka. He even seemed to be starting to grasp just how _beautiful_ they were together, how they encapsulated everything Rei had come to understand about love and the possibility that even the isolation of AT-Fields did not mean everyone was doomed to be alone.

And he had said that the burning need of the Call felt… like the gnawing hunger for that feeling of love, or knowing another was there for you. If not for the fact Nagisa's quest would end in the destruction of the world, Rei could almost sympathize with that. As it was, the best she could offer him right now was that she would do her best to make his end painless when the time came, if she had any control in it.

She was not looking forward to explaining this to Commander Ikari. She was even less happy at the idea she might have to explain this to Shinji and Asuka, too. They had no idea about how big a threat Nagisa was to humanity, so her anger would come off as bizarrely unjustified. And she feared their disapproval more than almost anything.

'_It is something that… I can feel part of me __**hungering **__for, even as the rest of me cannot even grasp it,' _he'd said. Could she… would getting him to understand that help him fight the Call? Even somehow turn him to helping protect her loves too? He said he did not want to be her enemy, and was starting to understand how important her loves were.

Could he be… an _ally_? Tabris, child of Adam and agent of SEELE? Shinji would want her to try, and Asuka would back him up. "Stupid, stupid fish…"

Rei sighed, pushed away yet again the phantom sensation of his AT-Field against hers, and summoned up her favorite way to fall asleep nowadays: the memory of being wrapped up by both her loves, welcoming her home in joy. She did not dream, but this was almost as good.

.

* * *

.

Late at night, trying to be quiet was a game all its own. This time Misato won by cheating: she sank her teeth into Kaji's shoulder when she was about to lose, and let his nicely firm muscle muffle her cry. He was in no shape to complain at that exact moment, being rather distracted himself.

He did nurse the bitemark a bit, lying next to her afterwards. "Good thing it's below my collar-line this time," he said with a small wince that melted into a tired grin.

"I'll aim higher next time," Misato shot back with her own smile. "Pity I can't have you 'drop in' on my office anymore, and rub it in Ritsuko's face."

"Still not talking?" Kaji asked, nuzzling her hair.

"I had to play off the 'Ops versus Project E divide' to make sure she didn't insist on sitting in on Asuka's debrief this afternoon. And be a bit of a bitch, I'll admit. She had this… strange expression when I implied anything that had gone wrong was her fault. She folded right after that. And yeah, we're still… not talking." Misato rolled over to rest her head on his chest. "It's… hard to look her in the face, knowing what we know now. I'd never have thought my old roomie could have… been a part of the things we've uncovered."

Kaji nodded, his chin brushing against her hair. "And I get the feeling there's even more still to come. We still don't know what's down in a lot of Terminal Dogma. An Angel in the basement is bad enough, but what's in those labs we couldn't get into? And we're going to have a Hell of a time finding out, with the way MAGI security and checks have tightened up."

Misato reached up to poke him in the nose. "You stay _discreet_, spy-boy. If I could catch you sneaking into there, so could Section 2. You are not allowed to get yourself caught and shot, you hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said mock-meekly. "We may have more problems on that front. Someone's been leaving markers at watch-spots I'd use to signal SEELE. They've got more eyes here than just me. I'm still feeding them some tidbits, but I think they're not exactly relying on me to be their loyal tool."

"Great, just what we need: More things to make me paranoid," Misato complained. "Section 2 already knows about this, I take it?"

"If they're watching at all, and I know how paranoid Commander Ikari is," Kaji confirmed. "They might get into places we want to see too, so all we need to do is watch for opportunity and grab whatever they get, or piggyback their snooping."

"And keep them from sabotaging anything critical. Though I'd mind being stuck in an elevator with you a lot less this time." She left another hickey on his collarbone. She frowned once she pulled off, though. "Would they… try to hurt the kids?"

Kaji frowned at the ceiling. "...I don't know. I'd think not, but… these are high stakes they're playing for. They were willing to cripple the city's defenses right as an Angel attacks, though it's hard to tell if that's just bad timing. But if the Children are as specifically critical to each Eva due to their mothers… I don't know." He snorted. "I think I'll be higher on their shit list, if they figure out what I stole from under their noses."

Misato poked him again. "No. Dying. You owe me years. I'm not letting you go this time, Kaji."

"If you say 'the Children need you' next, I may run out the door," Kaji joked.

Misato narrowed her eyes and snaked her arms around him tight. "You're not going anywhere, buster. I may need you to play bridgemaker with Rits. See if she's interested in going out for drinks again. That'll give us an excuse to make up, and see what she's been up to. She's been disappearing a lot lately, some special project with the MAGI. She keeps taking Maya too. After the Dummy Plugs, I'm wary as Hell about any more computer-based surprises she might come up with."

Kaji nodded. "At least we can still ask her out and make peace. I think Asuka and Shinji want to feed her to one of the Evas for the things she did to Rei."

"I'd like to smack her a few times myself, but I know how to be a mature adult," Misato said, closing her eyes and letting Kaji's warmth lull her to sleep.

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* * *

.

"I swear, she's doing this to drive me _crazy_," Asuka growled softly, taking her hands off her ears. "She tells you and I we have to wait, and then she and Kaji keep us awake half the night, going at it like a pair of cats in heat!"

Shinji swallowed and tried to think calming thoughts. It was not easy, not after three weeks and counting of celibacy, the soundtrack Misato and Kaji had been providing, and laying there next to his stunningly hot girlfriend. A girlfriend who was wearing the minimum Misato would let them get away with for the next week and a half. A girlfriend who was passionate, energetic, and could do this little trick with her-

Shinji stomped down on that line of thought. It was not helping. "M-maybe she doesn't realize just how thin the walls are? I mean, she never heard us, so she may not know… um… that we can hear her just fine." He wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"We are _so_ getting her back once we hit my birthday," Asuka muttered.

Shinji almost whimpered. Picturing that _also_ wasn't helping him stay cool!

Asuka rolled over to embrace him. "At least it's quiet and we can sleep, now." She kissed him on the cheek. "And I can't wait for your present, either. I know you're going to knock my socks off." She snuggled in happily against him, her eyes already closing.

"Yeah, sleep…" Shinji agreed weakly.

Asuka cracked an eye open to look at him. "I know, I'm just as wound up. But if we don't go to sleep _soon_, I'm not going to be able to 'behave myself' either. So close your eyes and try, before we start getting ideas about seeing if we're still able to stay that quiet."

Shinji did whimper this time. "Your birthday can't come soon enough. Love you." He closed his eyes.

"Love you too, baka-Shinji." A soft kiss on his cheek, and sleep.

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* * *

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MAGI ADMIN 01: Goodnight, Maya. Wish you were here. I feel so...uncovered.

MAGI SYSOP 01: ...Ritsuko-sempai, are you wearing anything?

MAGI ADMIN 01: If you were here, you could check~ )

MAGI SYSOP 01: Just for that, I'm going to leave you guessing as to whether I'm wearing any underwear tomorrow.

MAGI ADMIN 01: Trying to get _me_ to check? :-3

MAGI SYSOP 01: ….maybe I won't stop you if you do.

MAGI ADMIN 01: You wicked bitch. 3

MAGI SYSOP 01: Goodnight, Ritsuko-sempai! :-*

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* * *

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Kaworu stared at his hand, raised over his face as he lay awake. Sleep refused to come.

"I _am_ a stupid fish," he muttered.

Ayanami. Again, she had come to find him and almost immediately slapped him, hard. And proceeded to yell at him for things that were only somewhat his fault, but that he was available to scream at for. And then he'd managed to make her _angrier_ via his body's reaction to her. More screaming and smacking had ensued. It had been a violent and slightly pain-filled end to a relatively peaceful day.

And yet, it was the part of the day that wouldn't let him sleep. He'd told her about what he now noticed when he looked at the Second and Third Children. How he felt the painful emptiness of what he could see he was missing, and might not even be capable of. How it felt like the Call.

He'd said all this in a rush, put his hands on her shoulders, and looked her right in the eye. She'd _listened_. She'd _understood_! They had been communicating! Was his vague thought that he could maintain his ability to choose, to refuse to obey the Call for an arbitrarily long period of time possible? Could he and the Lilim truly not be enemies? It had felt so close…

...and then something _else_ had felt so close.

He sighed again. Ayanami's body was quite lovely, and his own Lilim side _very much_ appreciated that. Ayanami, alas, did not return that regard, not after his body had er… so directly made that appreciation known. It did not help that he could see both with his other sight and his more Lilim eyes that the Second and Third Child's love had a strong carnal component to it, and yet that somehow only fed and intensified their emotional and spiritual joy in each other. The traitorous, insurgent little voice in his lizard brain that kept suggesting exploring that vein with Ayanami was _not_ helping right now.

He looked down at his body. His line of thought had brought the 'issue' right back up. "Oh, _shut up_," he muttered at it. "What am I going to do with you? You just make everything awkward. A solid _hour_ in the middle of class today! Just because I looked at her when she stretched!"

He frowned. He couldn't entirely blame his body. He had been almost delighted to see Ayanami when she appeared in the park. She had sought him out. To yell at him, true, but… it was someone that wanted his company. He knew that he was perhaps the only person Ayanami could openly discuss sensitive topics with, and that she could help him understand Lilim hearts, maybe. And… it made him glad. He was the sole member of his kind in the world. He knew his fate was solitude, no matter victory or defeat. But to speak with her, the only other in the world who knew what it meant to be a half-Angel, half-Lilim hybrid born to be a tool to end the world, a pawn in someone else's plan… that he was not alone in that was… oddly comforting. They might be instinctively antagonistic, but… it was nice to have something in common.

He could still feel the mark on his face where she'd slapped him. His AT-Field tingled as he touched it. "Truly stupid…" he muttered. His head flopped back.

"What am I?"

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* * *

.

"Rei."

She stood at her usual spot, thirty meters back from his desk, face a blank mask, perfectly still. She'd done this a thousand times. It had never been this difficult before. She'd never had to prepare to lie to him this much before. Good thing she had all night to practice.

"Sir."

"Explain yesterday."

No preamble, no 'we saw you beating the Fifth Child like a rented mule', nothing. Just the flat order to spill everything, and the unspoken implication he already knew everything that had occurred. As always.

"The Fifth Child is an Angel," Rei began.

It was a calculated gamble. Her own hybrid nature meant she should be able to tell that Nagisa was not purely human. And the old Rei would have automatically informed Commander Ikari of that. So she would too.

Commander Ikari just nodded stiffly.

"I am very wary of him. I do not like leaving him unobserved. I could feel him moving about the city once we left the Geofront after the reactivation test, and left Major Katsuragi's apartment to find him and ensure he was not doing anything suspicious. He made… remarks that he might threaten the city or the other Pilots. I rebuked him."

"While screaming about fish?"

Rei winced internally. So the watchers Commander Ikari had surely set on Nagisa had heard that part, had they? And her… unusually emotive reaction. She'd considered this might arise. Time for pack of lies #1. "Pilot Soryu has labeled him 'the new fish'. I have adopted her term. I… am agitated around him. Angry. I am instinctively hostile to him and his presence. I believe this is due to his nature as an Angel, and he senses it. I think he is learning to fear me."

"Did he confess to being one?"

Rei nodded once, stiffly. "Yes. He described himself as 'Tabris'. He is aware we know he has been sent by SEELE. I have informed him I am aware of his nature and origin, and will not allow him to succeed."

"Good. Do not harm him for now. SEELE will react if we move too soon. Remain watchful and be ready to eliminate him when ordered."

"Yes, sir."

Gendo shifted his head minutely. His glasses flashed at Rei. Backlit by the reflected sunlight from the surface, he was a black shape with only the flash of his lenses to highlight his form. He was like a perched demon, sitting in judgement. Or he would be to anyone normal. To Rei's sight, he was… as opposite the glorious blaze that her loves put off as she had ever seen. He was like a black hole, puckered and twisted up into himself until nearly any scrap of his light was hidden away. He was a dying ember next to their bonfire.

"You were unusually angry and active, Rei."

Rei forced herself to remain blank. She had expected this, prepared for this. She could not let it show. Pack of lies #2. "Sir. He is the antithesis of everything I am. His presence is… I react when we are in proximity. I have to be near him in social settings as a Pilot. I will control myself as required until you order me to finish him."

Gendo did not react. "We expected this, Rei. Your medication was predicated on normal conditions. You of course react to the presence of your enemies. We were prepared for this. You will go see Doctor Akagi after we are through. She will test your blood and adjust your medication to deal with the additional pressure of the Fifth Child. You will be able to remain calm even when he is near you for extended periods. We cannot have you attacking him before the time comes," he said, no emotion in his voice. Like he was talking to a robot.

Rei fought to suppress the shiver that his words tried to trigger. _'No. No more drugs. I will not let you take away my ability to love them again.'_ "Yes, sir."

"The Fifth Child arrived earlier than we expected, but we knew SEELE would send their spies. Watch him, but do not attack until ordered, Rei. Everything is proceeding according to the Scenario. The day of our victory is close."

'_Not if I have anything to say about it. You will not harm my loves, nor destroy their world. I will not let you.'_ "Yes, sir. SEELE will be stopped. I will handle Tabris when needed."

He nodded once more. "Good. Go to Doctor Akagi. You will not have to endure your pain much longer, Rei."

Rei turned to leave. She could not leave fast enough, but forced her steps to stay robotically slow. _'I will endure __**anything**__ for their love. You should know that, given the root of your desire, Commander. You should know better than anyone what love can drive.'_

_._

_._

* * *

_._

Author's Note, 01AUG16: Orrrrr maybe I'll please the Muses, and 4600 words will just flow out in a few days. I didn't expect a whole update to almost be nothing but 'people going to bed', but somehow it worked. On Sufficient Velocity, this makes 6 weeks in a row of regular updates. I might have to start posting the Character Notes and Comedy Omakes here, too. Enjoy, and tell me what you think!


	32. Ch 30 - Everything I Do Pt 7

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 9.7

**Everything I Do...**

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* * *

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Rei knocked twice on the door to Doctor Akagi's private lab deep in the bowels of Terminal Dogma. She once would have walked straight in without even thinking to pause, but things had changed. She could see through the thin metal door what awaited her inside, and let what lay within have a moment to become publicly presentable.

A moment later the door hissed open, revealing a perfectly calm and official-looking Doctor Akagi. "Yes, Rei?"

"I have just been given new instructions from the Commander. I need to discuss them with you," she said in her best 'Rei-the-doll' voice.

Ritsuko's face showed nothing but professional coolness. "Of course. Come in."

Rei followed her into the lab, noting the even more cluttered and forgotten-coffee-cup mess than it usually was. Doctor Akagi took a seat at her work console, the screen still displaying the results of Asuka's recent test. Rei took her habitual spot facing the doctor, standing stiffly.

Doctor Akagi waited. After a moment, Rei glanced around carefully, and silently pulled a small piece of notepaper out of her pocket. She showed it to Doctor Akagi.

'ROOM SECURE? I WISH TO DISCUSS MATTERS HE SHOULD NOT HEAR.'

Doctor Akagi's eyes widened fractionally, but she nodded.

Rei nodded back, tore the note into tiny pieces, and left the result in the closest ashtray on the desk. She pulled up a stool and sat facing the faux-blonde. "You look much better."

Ritsuko smiled tiredly. "I feel much better."

Rei looked precisely at a spot on the back wall of the lab, where there was a door to further chambers. She stared at the blank door, and asked without turning to face the doctor. "I see you took my suggestion."

Ritsuko blushed and sputtered a little. "I… it… what are you talking about?"

Rei looked back to her. "Doctor, do you really think _I_ would not notice? You are practically glowing. You are… very lucky."

"I made a good call," Ritsuko replied.

"Evidently so," Rei nodded.

.

* * *

_._

_Ritsuko clung to the pillow so hard her hands hurt. She raised her head from her fetal curl just enough to look at the clock on the nightstand. It had been 23 minutes since she made the call. How much lo-_

_The doorbell rang. _

_Even expecting it, Ritsuko jerked in shock. That… that was real. She'd come. She could barely believe it. _

_She rose from her tight, shaking curl on the bed and wobbled her way to the front door. _

_Rei Ayanami stood there, still in her student uniform. She said nothing, waiting._

_Ritsuko just jerked a nod, hanging on to the doorframe for stability. She stepped back, beckoning Rei inside._

_Rei stepped inside, passing her like a ghost. She walked to the center of the room, and turned to face her. She looked back at the older woman, again waiting. _

_Ritsuko's thoughts were still wildly washing back and forth. Her deep inebriation was not helping, either. "Whhy 'r' you here?" she slurred._

_Rei raised an eyebrow a tiny bit. "You called me for help. Did you think I would not come?"_

"_Yesh!" Ritsuko snapped. "You of all people have ghud reason to hate me! You've ghot no reezon to help me, to sssave me! Whhy 'r' you here?"_

"_If you truly believe that, why did you call me? Me, and not Major Katsuragi or Inspector Kaji, who have known you for years? Not anyone else?" Rei asked calmly._

_Ritsuko stood there swaying for a moment. "Cannn't call Msato… I jusht called her… stupid, lazy alcoholic… can't… can't let'er shee me like this… like I just… becaush I… just…" Ritsuko waved vaguely for Rei to follow her, wobbling her way to the bedroom. She pointed at the empty bottles of wine on the nightstand. _

_And the bottle of sedative pills next to them. _

"_Lllook! I just… I just…" She couldn't finish it. She just staggered to the edge of the bed and collapsed, barely managing to sit up. _

_Rei looked at the bottles for a long moment. "I see." She sat down next to Ritsuko. "And you called me because…"_

"_Becauzhe you know wha' iz like… to be used by him. To be a pahwn and… uncared for," Ritsuko mumbled into her lap, head downcast. "To… want to die so it shtops hurting."_

_Rei nodded. "Yes. And I have learned how to move beyond that. I no longer wish for oblivion to ease my pain. I have something worth living for, now."_

"_What?" Ritsuko almost begged._

"_Love."_

_Ritsuko stared at her in disbelief for a moment, then started laughing. Laughter that very quickly dissolved into sobs. "Love? Love?! I thought I waz in love. But I'm just a shtupid bitch he uses and uses and uses! I might as well be a fffucking __**Fleshlight **__with a PhD for all he cares!" Ritsuko reached over and grabbed Rei's shirt. "HE KEEPS SAYING HER NAME! WHILE HE'S INSIDE ME! IT'S LIKE I'M NOT EVEN THERE!" she screamed. _

_She almost screamed again, in shock, when Rei put her arms around her and hugged her. "Not him. He does not love us. He cannot. He has locked himself off to only her memory. We are just shapes he uses to try bringing her back. But I did not mean him. I love and am loved, but not by him."_

"_What? __**You**__? Who? You're a doll, a pppuppet he made so he could look at her ffface while he waited to end zhe world for her! You're full of drugs __**I **__keep givin' you! You shouldnnn't be __**able**__ to even feel that much!" Despite her words, Ritsuko didn't try to break loose from the hug. Rather, she clung to Rei like she was drowning._

"_Yet I do. And I have you to thank for it."_

"_How?!" _

"_You ordered us to spend all our time together."_

"_What? Shinji and Asuka? What?" Ritsuko pulled back far enough to stare at Rei in confusion. "They love you? What?"_

_Rei nodded, a tiny smile appearing on her lips. "Yes. And it is worth every moment of pain. I can withstand anything, knowing they love me, and accept my feelings too."_

_Ritsuko's head was spinning even more than the alcohol could account for. "How does… you should be __**numb**__! Unable to even care! How...what? And...and how is that supposed to help me?! Are you just going to decide to love me too?"_

_Rei shook her head. "No. You were correct, I have more reason to hate you than anyone. But I can forgive, because I understand. I may not ever love or like you, but I can let go of the hate. I can because I can see you now, and see you are breaking under the weight of trying to be so useful to him he has to love you. And you will break, because he never will." Rei looked at the bottle of pills on the bed behind them. "Or should I say, you have already broken? And hope that I can help cushion the landing?"_

"_Couldn't call Misato… couldn't call Kaji...couldn't call __**him**__… but…" Ritsuko wiped sloppily at the tears that were rolling down her face again. "Hoped… hoped you'd come. You know wha' it's like…" _

"_You could not call Lieutenant Ibuki?" Rei asked gently._

_Ritsuko looked up, fear in her eyes. "NO! No! Can't… don't call her! Don't let her shee this! I… she… she doesnn… doesnnn't know I'm… I'm this… this shtupid, blind whore…"_

"_You do not wish her to see this, because you care about what she'd think," Rei observed. "Even at the point of drinking yourself to death." Rei paused. "She would have come, you know. You...are important to her." _

_Ristuko almost shrank away from Rei's hug now, pulling away. "Shhouldn't be. She… shouldn't be dragged down with me. She deserves better than me. I don't… desherve someone like her… that just… looks at me with thoze eyes, like I'm so… good." Ristuko winced again. "I was going to kill her alon' with everyone in the world, for __**him**__." _

"_You do not deserve her, no," Rei agreed. _

_Ritsuko looked up in hurt surprise. This was supposed to help?_

"_But if you live long enough, maybe you can earn her. There is no such thing as an unforgivable sin." _

_Ritsuko shook her head slowly. "I… can't. I've spent years… helping him. The end of zhe fucking world is nigh, and I've been __**helpin'**__!" _

"_We will stop it. I will not permit SEELE or Commander Ikari to complete their plans. I will not accept a world that erases those I love." Rei's eyes had cooly unyielding burn to them now. She looked Ritsuko right in the eye. "Will you?"_

"_Love? Who? I have nothing, no one!" Ritsuko wept. "Years of deluding myself that he'd see me, take me over her… **nothing**!"_

"_Do you imagine that you are unloved?"_

_Ritsuko barked a sad laugh. "Ha! Who, Maya? If she knew even a fraction of the hideous things I've done…" _

"_I have more reason to hate you than anyone, know all your sins, and yet I can forgive. Do you think she cannot?"_

_Ritsuko looked up at Rei, trying to understand. "Why… why 'r' you doin' this? You have so many reasons to hate me… there'sh an entire __**tank**__ of clones of you down there, just zho we can force you to keep coming back if you die, to make sure yur there when __**he**__ needs you to end zhe world. I've stuffed you with so many drugs a normal girl would be dead shree timez over… And… Shinji and Asuka must… must hate me…" Ritsuko's eyes widened. "Oh gods… they don't know about… their mothers! Oh…oh no..." _

_Rei put a hand on her shoulder. "I believe they are figuring it out. I have avoided speaking about it out of… similar fears as yours. But yes, they hate you for how you have treated me. I am willing to forgive, because I understand. They are less forgiving."_

"_So __**why?**__" Ritsuko wailed at her. "Why help me?"_

"_Because I choose to. Asuka had no reason to care for me at all, but reached out to me. Now she is someone I love. She could have done nothing. She chose to help me. And it has made all the difference. So even if you are someone as burdened with sins as you, someone even she would hate, I will still help. There is no such thing as an unforgivable sin, if you are truly willing to try to earn redemption. And love makes everything worth it."_

"_Love…" Ritsuko said weakly into her lap. She shook her head. "I… there'zh no way I could…"_

_Rei put her fingers under Ritsuko's chin and lifted her face. "There's no way a drugged puppet could find love. There's no way three broken Children could beat an Angel. There's no way I'd help you. We do the impossible all the time, Doctor. You can earn a path out of this."_

"_How?"_

"_I suggest, in the morning, that you call her. And confess everything. I understand confession is good for the soul."_

_Ritsuko stared at her. "...And you think shhhe will just… accept it? That I've been part of trying to end the world, and now I… changed my mind?"_

"_I think you may be surprised at what Lieutenant Ibuki will do. You have no idea how much she cares for you." _

"_How can you know?"_

_Rei smiled a fraction wider. "I look past the surface, Doctor. Hearts are harder to hide than you think." _

_Rei stood up and began to collect the wine bottles from the nightstand. "I will remove the remaining alcohol from your residence, and the pills. That will remove the immediate risk of you succumbing to despair. I will also stay with you until you fall asleep naturally, and ensure you are alright for the night."_

"_I'm gunna be in a lot ov pain withou' those pillz," Ritsuko said tiredly. _

"_Then I also suggest you utilize the LCL-accelerated healing procedure tomorrow. The one that has been so successful on myself and Shinji in the past," Rei said from the kitchen. The clinking of glass and rustle of plastic signaled she was removing the liquor in there as well. She reappeared in the doorway with a large garbage bag of bottles. _

"_The one tha' takes me to run, and Comm'der Ikari haz prohibited from ushe on anyone bu' the Pilots?" Ritsuko darkly pointed out. _

"_I think Lieutenant Ibuki could assist you in that procedure," Rei suggested. "And… I think if you want to earn that redemption, you are going to have to disobey quite a few of Commander Ikari's orders." Rei helped her take off her clothes and got her situated under a fresh sheet, taking away the tear and snot dirtied one. _

_She put her hand on Ritsuko's forehead. "Rest. You are not alone. And in the morning… call her. She will answer."_

_Ritsuko let the knot of tension she'd been holding onto start to ease. "No unforgivable sin, huh?"_

"'_Long is the way, and hard, that out of Hell leads up to light'," Rei quoted. "We are all burdened with sin, Doctor. But those we love will help us bear it. And none of us are unworthy. My loves have taught me that."_

"_Maya…" Ritsuko mumbled, her eyes sinking closed._

.

* * *

.

"So, now do you understand why I said what I did that night?" Rei asked. "It is thanks to their love that I can endure, because I know I am cared for."

Ritsuko shook her head slightly. "I still can't.. Both of them? I mean… you all love each other?"

"Yes." Rei let a tiny smile show. "It is… balm for the soul."

"Love like… Platonic, right? You haven't all…" Ritsuko trailed off, refusing to even voice such madness.

"Oh, no. We have not. Though I would not say no to them if they asked, I do not wish to… interrupt their bond. It is too beautiful, what they have." Rei paused. "I would accept... eagerly, if they asked. They are... intensely desirable."

Ritsuko blinked. "Wait, what? _Those two? _They're… what?"

"'Lovers' is the term, doctor."

Ritsuko put her hands to her temples, like she could rub away the lunacy she'd just heard. "That's… what? _Them?_ But.. but… she's an unstable ball of anger and insecurity, and he's an oblivious doormat! How could they… I don't even…"

"The same way you did, doctor: They talked. It is amazing what happens when people communicate, isn't it?" Rei raised one eyebrow a few millimeters at her. "Such as that evening in the hospital and later that night for you and I. Or the next morning, for you and her?"

Ritsuko went blank faced and shifty. "What are you talking about?"

"Your new love. I told you she would accept you, did I not? I am glad for you and her."

"What...what makes you think we've… I've done anything?" Ritsuko said carefully.

"The lipstick marks on your neck, for one," Rei said with no change of tone.

"We weren't-" Ritsuko's hand flew up to her… perfectly clean neck.

"Gotcha," Rei said, utterly deadpan. Her tiny smile reappeared.

Ritsuko glared at her. "Oh, you clever bitch…"Ritsuko suddenly looked very worried, and shot a glance at the door to the lab. "You… can't say anything. If Commander Ikari figures out I'm not… dancing to his tune anymore, he might… do things. I know too much for him to just let go like that."

Rei cocked her head. "And does Lieutenant Ibuki?"

Ritsuko nodded. "I… told her everything, like you suggested. I was afraid, but… you were right. She… I don't deserve that kind of forgiveness. From you or her. But… she…" Ritsuko's smile was weak and shaky, but there. "But she… wants me anyway. I… I haven't felt like this in a long time."

Rei nodded back, her tiny smile fading away. "And likewise, you understand why I do not advertise that I love them and they love me. Commander Ikari wants me numb and obedient, not placing the welfare of Shinji and Asuka ahead of his plans. Please do not tell anyone of it." Rei's smile flashed back on for a moment. "Except for her, of course. I expect you will tell her. Lovers should not have secrets from each other." The smile vanished again. "It pains me enough that I cannot tell them what I am, or about the Commander's plans. I know how dangerous knowing such things is."

Ritsuko smiled tightly back at her. "Isn't it just… Maya and I can't even be seen so much as holding hands, or the Commander or SEELE might… make her a target." She sighed. "I'll keep my mouth shut, Rei. You do the same?"

"Of course. You will need her support a lot on your path to redemption, I think. She is… a bright heart, and just what you need." Rei looked at the mostly hidden door to the back of the lab. "You may as well come in, Lieutenant, and stop trying to eavesdrop."

A muffled squeak and a clatter of someone dropping a clipboard came from that direction. Ritsuko sighed again and put her hand to her face. "You knew she was there the entire time, didn't you?"

Rei nodded. "I see everything, doctor. I look at her, and look at you, and I can see how you make each other shine."

A blushing Lieutenant Ibuki came from the back of the lab, her clipboard clutched protectively in front of her like a shield. "H-hello, Rei-chan! Um… s-so… you um… know we're… um…"

"You are wonderful for each other," Rei smiled again. "Do not fear, I will help protect it."

Ritsuko coughed into her hand, trying to conceal her own small blush. "But I bet you didn't come down here just to see how I was doing, Rei. Why are you here?"

Rei's smile very definitely fled now. "Orders."

She briefly described her altercation with the Fifth Child, and the Commander's interrogation of her earlier. "So he wants you to increase my 'medication' to account for the increased aggression the presence of the Fifth Child engenders in me. I do not wish this. When you increased my dosage before, I was numbed beyond ability to feel love for my friends. I wish to avoid this _greatly_," she stressed. She looked at Lieutenant Ibuki, then back to Doctor Akagi. "You can understand how having that feeling taken away can be… unpleasant."

A flash of pain and guilt ran across Ritsuko's expression, and her eyes shot to Maya. "Ah… er, yes. I… I can see. Um… alright, I… I owe you that much at least, Rei. You saved my life that night. We'll… I'll use an old blood test of yours, and fix the results. I won't change your medication level, we'll just tell him I did. You… you can… keep feeling."

Maya walked to stand next to her while she was talking, taking Ritsuko's hand. She didn't say anything, but Rei could see Ritsuko's shoulders relax as she gripped Lieutenant Ibuki's hand back.

Rei let her smile show again. "Yes… you two need each other. I am glad my advice helped." Rei colored a little. "This room is secure. May I be permitted to see… you two do a little of what you were doing when I arrived? Please?"

Maya turned bright red. "H-h-how d-do you kn-know we were…?" she squeaked.

Ritsuko was almost as red. "Just… she knows, Maya. She's too damn perceptive at this." She sighed, standing up. "It's hopeless to resist. Come here, Maya." She tugged the younger woman closer by her hand.

"Meep?" Maya got out before Ritsuko pulled her into a gentle embrace. "R-R-R-Ritsuko-S-s-sempai! She's _watching_!"

"I think that's the point, little kouhai. You said you wouldn't call me 'Ritsuko' until we kissed in front of other people, remember?" Ritsuko said lightly, though her throat was trying to close up too. "Rei is helping."

Maya's eyes went wide. "I… I… oh my…"

Ritsuko took the opportunity to bring her face the last couple inches closer. "Thank you for saving me too." She softly pressed her lips to Maya's.

Maya's arms quickly wrapped around Ritsuko to stay upright, as her knees decided to quit.

Rei's smile was just a little bigger now. "Thank you, Doctor Akagi. I'll see myself out." With that, the bluenette rose and quietly departed.

It was some time before Ritsuko or Maya even noticed.

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* * *

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Shinji lowered his bow and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "That… was just about right. Alright, I need to go finish the last part. You be ok practicing with Kaworu-kun while I work, Rei?"

Rei lowered her own instrument and frowned slightly at the grey-haired boy. "I can practice with him, yes." Her tone of voice suggested low enthusiasm for the prospect, but she knew Shinji needed all the time he could to finish fashioning Asuka's present.

"We will be fine, Shinji-kun. We may take a break from practicing anyway. I have something I wanted to talk to Ayanami-san for a moment first," Kaworu said.

Rei looked at him warily. They hadn't spoken more than social greetings at school or the minimum necessary at the after school practices since the… incident at the park a few days ago. Nagisa continued to constantly wear the same vague smile he usually did, but had gained a distracted, almost confused look whenever his eyes drifted to Rei. His eyes were sad when that happened.

Shinji nodded, put away his cello, and went back to sitting at the kitchen table. He picked up his pencil and began scribbling industriously at the papers in front of him.

Kaworu watched him for a moment, then sighed. "How does he just… do that? Sit down and… create? I thought humans were unable to create something out of nothing. That they must have something to start with, because humans aren't gods. But he's just… doing it. Out of… just feeling for her. How…" Nagisa shook his head.

"If you are incapable of understanding love and how it can let us do the impossible, I pity you," Rei said coolly.

"But I _want_ to! And… it always feels like it's just beyond the edge of me comprehending it!" he whispered back. He gestured towards the partly open door behind them. "We should speak in here with the door closed. We need to discuss…" He made a little 'halo' gesture over his head.

Rei's frown deepened, but she nodded. She laid her viola aside and preceded him. He followed her in and closed the door to… what she realized a moment too late was her bedroom.

'_The stupid Rainbow Trout is not the one I wanted to be 'the first boy in my bedroom',_' she mentally growled. She turned to voice her displeasure at this, only to find him staring transfixed at something behind and above her. She looked over her shoulder, following his gaze.

She looked again.

She very calmly turned to the Adamite intruder standing in her bedroom and very, very calmly asked, "Kaworu Nagisa, are you staring fixedly at my _underwear_?"

Nagisa tore his eye away from the neatly arranged pairs of white, red (a present from Asuka, one of her favorites), and powder blue panties and brassieres hanging from the drying ring on the far side of her futon, and locked eyes with Rei, his expression rapidly shifting from stunned amazement to petrified horror. "I was thinking of what you'd look like wearing them! It… It _helps_! Please don't kill me!"

The expression of mild annoyance on Rei's face did not change, but the room began to rumble slightly.

"I mean it!" Kaworu protested. "Hear me out! This is what I wanted to talk to you about!"

The rumbling eased, though Rei's face remained alarmingly calm. "You have one minute."

Kaworu put his hand to his forehead like he was trying to massage a coherent argument out of it. "I… try to understand, you… you have no idea what the Call is truly like. It… it is like overpowering lust, a nagging sense of emptiness, and the aching desire to be loved, all at once. I feel… painfully aware of a deep, fundamental _incompleteness_ in my being, that can only be eased by uniting with my Progenitor. It is… It…" He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting to force the concept into words. "It is… not unlike what… The Second and Third Children seem to gain from each other."

"You will not touch them," Rei said icily. "Their light is not for you to disturb."

"I _know_!" he hissed at her, suddenly vehement. "I know how much they mean to you! I can _see_ it! You _flare_ whenever you are near them! And it is glorious! You are _already_ disturbingly beautiful, and that only makes it worse! And… and… yet, better. That's… I was… when we were in the park, I noticed…"

"I _know_ what you noticed," Rei growled. "Get on with it."

"No, you _don't_ know! That's not what I'm talking about! I told you, I could not control those drives… they're too strong, too basic to the nature of my body! They… they are distracting. You are distracting. You, Shinji-kun, the Second, the Fourth… the girls at school. The boys at school. Swimsuits. Posters in the shops. The… Major Katsuragi's _car_, even… They all… have caused my body to react, and… and… it is _distracting_!"

Rei let her anger start to show on her face. "Yes, you've said that. That does not excuse or explain you staring at my underwear, especially after the par-"

"_It blocks the Call!" _Kaworu almost shouted at her. Rei took a step back.

He looked behind him at the door to the living room, assuring himself that his voice hadn't caught Shinji's attention before turning back to a stunned First Child. "I… the Call is a _burning_ need… constantly on my mind, whispering, pleading, pushing me to go down into the Geofront, seek my source and unite with it… but when I'm… distracted… I don't hear it. Or at least, it's far, far easier to ignore. I… I was thinking about it when we came in here. When I saw your… your panties, I… I was… I suddenly had… all these images of… of what they'd look like on you. And… while that was happening, I didn't feel the Call!"

He abruptly sat down on the floor, not quite collapsing. "I don't want to be your enemy, Ayanami-san. I don't… I asked to speak to you about this because you're the only one who might understand what the Call is like, even from your end… and you're the only one I _can_ talk to about this. I cannot talk to SEELE, to Commander Ikari... or to the other Children… you know why. I have no wish to endanger them. And they do not know what we are."

He took some deep breaths, visibly trying to steady himself. "So when I am… 'distracted' by you, it… helps. That is what I meant by it. And… being around you and the other Children is… You have no idea how much of the Call is that loneliness. That constant, pounding awareness _every second_ that I am a Child of the White Moon, not like anyone else on this world. That I am _alone_, and doomed to kill everyone I know wiping out everything else here in favor of my template, or to die myself in the attempt." He looked up at her with that same smile he always wore… but for the first time Rei could see the hollow ache behind it. "I feel less alone when I am with you, and the others. It helps."

"I sought refuge in music before now. But… practicing with you and Shinji-kun… it is something even more… freeing. So… I...er… I wanted to ask you to… help me. I… still _want_ to… complete my mission. But I am not sure if I _should_ want to. I… want to be able to _choose_, not just… obey my nature."

"I am less than favorably inclined to 'help', when you might still choose to try to end the world of my loves," Rei said darkly. "I will still destroy you the moment you try such a move."

"But by doing so you can help sway me away from making that choice," Kaworu pointed out.

Rei glowered at him. "By letting you stare at my underwear or my body? Asuka has taught me what it implies when a girl does that for a boy. I am fortunate Kensuke is such a gentleman, or I could have made a serious error in my early experiments."

Kaworu perked up. "Ah, so you have already done this for Aida-san? That means I have a chance of similar treatment? May I see them now? What color are they?"

Rei's glare intensified. "Congratulations, stupid fish. I now wish to destroy you for reasons unrelated to you being an Angel." She swung her arm up… and lightly bopped him on the head. "But I will restrain myself, for now, and consider your idea. I have been cautioned against further such public incidents as the park, but do not think this means I will not rebuke you as needed."

Kaworu touched his head where she'd bopped him. "And… companionship? With you and the others? You must know what the loneliness is like. You are… much like me, in that way. In several ways."

"And unlike in others, Rainbow Trout. But…" Rei gritted her teeth. "Grrr… You are a threat just by living, a stupid fish, and unworthy of what you ask… but my friends did the same for me, and my world is impossibly better because of it. I will consider it." She whipped a finger up to point right in his face. "I will _not_, however, be giving you free looks at me or my underwear for your 'distraction'. We'll… find you a girlfriend or something. One of that flock of irritating hangers-on you seem to attract at school or someone. Not me."

"Why not?" Kaworu seemed honestly puzzled. "We already know each other, we are fellow Pilots, and I find you highly sexually attractive."

Rei stared at him, mouth open. "You… you are… you did _not_ just… did you just try to _ask me out_?"

"...I think so? Is that a no? I am unsure how this works. How did Aida-san approach you about this?"

"Not like this!" Rei shot back. "And I approached him! You, you _stupid fish!_ I am ready and willing to kill you at any moment! You want to _date_ me? Are you crazy?"

Kaworu's smile took on a slightly more genuinely cheerful edge. "I'm going to die anyway, Ayanami-san. Might as well be the more pleasant way than waiting until existential angst and the Call decide it for me."

"You consider _me_ a more pleasant way to die?" Rei put her right hand to her face. "_When_ I am able to tell this to Asuka, I think she is going to lose bladder control from laughter."

"So that's not a no?"

"Do not push your luck, stupid fish. I will consider it. But only because of my loves." Rei pushed past him and opened the door. She tried to ignore how he stiffened and went wide-eyed from even that brief contact. Her own AT-Field buzzed like a live wire from the brush. "Stupid fish," she muttered as she walked back to her viola. _'This is not precisely the ally I was thinking of.'_

"Get back out here and let us return to practice, Nagisa-san. Stop staring at my… things," she said over her shoulder.

"As you-" he began cheerfully.

She turned and gave him her best Asuka-coached death glare.

He quailed. "...um, say."

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* * *

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Author's Note, 16AUG16: Well... I've been updating so fast on Sufficient Velocity, I forgot to check on here. Now I've got 9000 words backed up. I'm posting only half at the moment, since the emotional tone of the next part is very different from this one. Enjoy the WAFF and laughs here, since the next time, it's Shinji finally getting back into Unit-01... and he learns just what kind of people his mother and father are...

As always, I appreciate your reviews to let me know what you like and what makes you speculate. At the rate I'm writing, we'll have another update here in just a week or two.


	33. Ch 31 - Everything I Do Pt 8

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 9.8

**Everything I Do...**

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Misato bit her lip, but tried to hide any other signs of tension. She could practically feel Asuka vibrating in place next to her, she was so tense.

"Begin the second phase of the activation system," Doctor Akagi ordered.

"Pilot has begun link-up," the senior tech reported.

"Entry has started. LCL electrolyzed," Maya recited. "Initiating first connection. Data received. Reconfirming. Pattern green."

'_This had to go easier than Asuka's reactivation,' _Misato told herself. _'She and Shinji spent all night talking about it and getting him ready.' _She glanced at the Second Child. Her stare was fixed on the monitor showing the interior of Shinji's Entry Plug. She'd explained her presence in the test chamber observation booth, plugsuited and ready, with 'I'm here to make sure no one _else_ screws up and goes berserk or something. I need to keep an eye on baka-Shinji, or he might do something stupid', but Doctor Akagi had been unreadable. She'd merely shrugged and told Misato to keep her out of the way. And so far, the process had been normal.

"Start system Phase 2," Doctor Akagi ordered.

"Synapses inserted. Junctions connected," the senior tech said.

"Transmitting pulse," Maya said. "No problems with initial contact. Harmonics are all normal. Checklist satisfactory up to 2420."

"Initiating 3rd connection. Self-psychograph is… active," Maya reported. "Just like last time…"

Misato forced herself not to look at Asuka. Ritsuko switched her screen to the Pilot readouts. Shinji's psychograph was bouncing around a bit, like Asuka's had before. "Pilot Ikari, report on any abnormalities."

"Nothing unusual in here, Doctor Akagi," Shinji replied, looking only a little nervous. "The connection feels… pretty crisp, no problems. I'm ready to start."

Ritsuko frowned at the psychograph readings, but nodded. "Fine. Initiate A-10 Nerve connection," Ritsuko said to Lieutenant Ibuki.

Clear up to 2580." Maya said calmly. "Counting down to the absolute borderline. 0.9, 0.7, 0.5, 0.4, 0.3... Absolute borderline passed. Unit-01 has activated successfully."

.

.

Shinji tried to relax. He and Asuka had gone over this. They couldn't let it show, or they could lose everything. At least Asuka had just nodded and given him a kiss when he protested that was incredibly hard. He smiled internally right now. Of course she understood. She hadn't even needed to say a word. _'How did I ever live without her with me?'_ he thought.

Then the Entry Plug began its wild spray of colors and patterns before settling into a clear view of the cage. He could feel the tingle of his A-10 headset on his head, that prickle on his mind that told him he was no longer just sitting in an LCL-filled tube. He was now in control of a titanic war machine.

Unit-01 was active.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath of LCL. He tried to do what Asuka had described. _'Picture the presence of Unit-01 as a curtain, not a wall. Something that you can part or pass. And then… reach beyond it. She'll be there, just like Mama was for me,' _Asuka had told him. He cleared his mind, and felt for that dark stormcloud Unit-01 had always felt like to him.

It was there, like always: roiling, black, foreboding… He'd always shied away from Unit-01's depths because of that. But this time he knew what was in there. He reached for the cloud, let his self-image pass through and into it…

'_Mother?'_

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Maya's console beeped… beeped again… beeped again again again… "Akagi-sempai… Shinji-kun's Synch Rate just jumped 8 points, and is still rising. 64… 70… 85%, still rising…"

"Have the power disconnect ready. I want the power cut immediately if he goes above 98.6%" Ritsuko said, her voice tense. "Full MAGI recording on all inputs and outputs, right now. It's doing the same thing as Unit-02, and we need to find out why."

Misato heard Asuka's fists creak in her plugsuit. Misato put a hand on the girl's shoulder, and Asuka's tightly clenched fists relaxed a bit. "Stay cool, Asuka," Misato whispered. "Not a sign, remember."

The redhead jerked a tight nod, her lips pressed firmly together.

"Shinji-kun, what's going on in there?" Ritsuko asked. "Your Synch Rate is spiking just like Asuka's was."

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.

'_Shinji?'_

His heart skipped. He barely heard Doctor Akagi's question. It was just noise in the distance. Nothing nearly as impor-

"Oi, baka! Doctor Mengele asked you a question!"

Shinji blinked. _That_ voice broke through. "Uh, yes, everything's fine. The initial synchronization was just… kind of intense this time. I got a little distracted. Sorry."

He could hear Misato a little more quietly, in the background. "Asuka, that was pretty rude. I hope you didn't mean that."

"I know what I said," he heard his girlfriend grumble.

'_Shinji, how… you're here. You're really here. My son… I wondered if you'd ever find your way here. I hoped your father would shield you from this, but I can't say I'm unhappy to see you. I know he wouldn't have asked you to do this unless it was necessary.'_

Shinji blinked. _'Mother… I… you're alive. I… I've missed you… I…'_ He bit his lip. Asuka had warned him, but… the reality was even more potent than he'd thought. How had she managed not to cry right in the middle of this?

'_I've missed you too, Shinji. You've… you've grown. I… I can't see 'outside' very well unless Unit-01 is powered up, but it was the most wonderful thing to see you when that third Angel came.'_

He had a million questions he wanted to ask her, but he knew time was short. This was just a reactivation test, not the hours-long Synch Tests. And much like Asuka, he couldn't count on keeping his composure for long. _His mother was alive!_

He ground his left fist into his leg, trying to use the pain to focus. The most burning question he wanted to ask floated to the top. _'Mother… why? Why did you do this? Why did you… leave me?'_

He couldn't see her. All he was getting was a vague impression and a voice, like talking to someone on the other side of a meter of smoked glass. He could clearly feel the sorrow in his mother's 'voice', though. And it was definitely the voice he remembered.

'_I'm sorry, Shinji. I had to. They knew I opposed them, and were going to erase me, like they've done for so many others. But I had the chance to be here, and I took it. I have to stop them. The whole world depends on it, the bright future I promised you.'_

'_Mother… what are you talking about?'_

'_The Angels are only the beginning. This is all part of their plan. The end of the world is coming, and nothing can stop them. All I can do is make sure I'm in the right place to derail their plan.'_

Shinji shook his head slightly. _'Who?'_

'_SEELE.'_

.

.

"Synch Rate holding at… 98.2%" Maya said worriedly. "He spiked to 98.5% for a second, but stopped."

Ritsuko shot another glance at Asuka, her expression still annoyed from the 'Mengele' crack. "Alright, we're seeing the same reaction the Second Child got. This has got to be something in the repairs to the nerves. We didn't see this with Unit-00."

"Yeah, it hasn't berserked…" Misato muttered. "Everything alright, Shinji?"

"I don't want to wait for any disasters. We've confirmed the reactivation. Unit-01 is combat-worthy again. I'm shutting this down so we can study this Synch Rate spike and try to nail down a cause, _before _it turns into something going wrong like them spiking over 100%," Ritsuko said. "That's bad enough, but the way the rates are going nuts, they could shoot even further. I do _not_ want to see what happens to the Pilot at 200% or higher!"

She put her hand on Lieutenant Ibiki's shoulder. "Maya, start the shutdown. Shinji-kun, get ready."

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Shinji bit down on a curse. He'd barely had a few minutes. He needed _hours_. Not just for the impossible wonder of talking to his _mother_, but… the things she'd been telling him were… beyond crazy. A _literal_ conspiracy to _end the world_? And his _grandfather _had been part of it? His _mother_? His father _**was**_?

'_Mother… I have to go.'_

'_We will stop them, Shinji. I'm so glad you are here. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. Humanity comes first, and this was the only way I could make sure there was a future for you. SEELE would destroy everyone's future.'_

'_A future…' _Asuka's face flashed across his mind's eye, her eyes squeezed shut in joy as she gave him one of those unguarded, gloriously sunny smiles that only he got to see… _'I promised her.'_

His mother's 'voice' turned amused and inquisitive. _'Oh my… who is she, Shinji?'_

He couldn't stop the blush. _'A-Asuka. My… my girlfriend. Lover. My world.'_

He could feel her smile. _'So you've found love, too? Well… that's good for you. I'm very glad. Shinji, I-'_

The Entry Plug flashed through it's colors, and the link was gone. His head suddenly throbbed. He hadn't pulled back first, trying to squeeze out every second he could with his Mother. Ow.

So… his mother approved of Asuka. That was good. His face turned grim as he heard the Entry Plug hum and groan as the machinery ejected it out the back of Unit-01's neck. Asuka needed to hear this. And then Misato. But first…

'_Father… is part of a plot to end the world. My father. My __**fucking**__ father… and mother was too…'_ He looked down at his hand as the LCL started to drain away. _'Is my whole family cursed? Tainted blood…'_

The hatch popped open, and he climbed out of the seat. _'Me… Asuka… Rei… Father, what kind of monster __**are**__ you? ...and what am I?'_

.

.

He could see the worry in Asuka's eyes, even behind the public mask of her 'World's Greatest Eva Pilot' persona, all through his debrief. Rei and Misato did an admirable job of not looking at each other as Shinji's answers during the perfunctory debriefing were unusually clipped and terse.

The same silence as the last time held in the car until they reached the surface. This time he was the one in the middle in the backseat, with a death-grip on Asuka and Rei's hands. Misato caught his eye and nodded.

"She's alive. She knew me. She…" He took a deep breath. "She… had a lot to tell me, but we didn't have enough time. She… loves me. A-And… she liked Asuka." He shot her a weak smile, getting an uncertain one in return. "But… there's a lot to tell you. And… we're in more trouble than I thought."

In the rear-view mirror, Misato's eyebrows went up. "Trouble?"

Shinji licked dry lips. "SEELE."

Beside him, Rei went pale. "No…" she whispered, too soft to be heard.

On the other side of him, Asuka winced. "Shinji… you're gripping pretty hard…"

"Sorry." He relaxed his hands.

Misato's eyes narrowed. "I see… You'll fill us in at home?"

He nodded. "After… after I… I need some time alone with Asuka first. I… this was… hard."

Misato nodded again. Asuka used her free hand to turn Shinji's face towards her. "Shinji?" She searched his face, looking worried.

He swallowed, throat tight. "I… I love you. I don't deserve you. But…" He shook his head like he was trying to shake off a bad dream. "I… don't know how I'd… still be… able to even get out of bed without you. You… I'm… not worth… how can you love me?"

Asuka's eyes widened and she put her hand back on his cheek. "Because I _do_, baka. And I say Hell _yes_, you're worthy. You're the one I want. I love you because you _get_ me, and love me back. What… what happened in there?"

"I learned what my parents are."

Asuka looked even more worried. "'What' they are?"

"Monsters."

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Asuka was starting to wonder if she would need to call in Rei. She'd never had Shinji clinging to her this desperately before. She stroked his back gently as they lay in their bed, trying to wait for him to speak, like he'd waited for her. But he just kept holding onto her, crying a little. After half an hour, she couldn't stand seeing him like this and not acting. "Shinji… what happened? You talked to her, and she… what did she say about SEELE that has you… questioning if you deserve me?"

Shinji's breath caught, and he shuddered. "...because I don't… I don't want to drag you down with me."

She put a hand on his chin and forced his head up until she could see his eyes, then gave him a kiss. "Baka. You've been there for me when I've been down. I'm not leaving you to face this alone, or ever. We made promises, you and me. Whatever shit the world rains down on us, we face it together. You're not getting dragged down. What did she say?"

Shinji kept crying silently. "SEELE means to end the world, make themselves into gods… and my father is part of them. Always has been. And so have my… my m-mother, and _grandfather_. Tainted blood… I've been in the middle of this all along, without even knowing. Unit-01 responds to me best because it's mother in there…" His head sank back down. "Even after father sent me away, I couldn't escape this."

"Your mother was… Shinji… Shinji! Look at me!" Asuka said sharply. When his head rose again, she looked him right in the eyes. "Your father is an asshole who treated you like trash. Screw him. And… I don't care about anything your mother or grandfather or aunts and uncles or _whatever _have done. You're you. You're the brave, caring, sweet baka I fell in love with. We back each other up, no matter what, remember?" She waited until he gave her a tiny nod before continuing. "You're still sleeping next to me tonight, and the next night, and so on. Just… tell me the rest. Ending the world? Making themselves gods? How?"

"They're... They're going to… use one of the Angels, somehow. And... And some 'lance' they got at Second Impact. But they have to wait until all the other Angels are dead before they can… do it. That's why they built the Evas: they knew the Angels were coming."

"How?"

"...Second Impact was a lie. They… they did it on _purpose_. They _knew_ what was going to happen!"

Asuka went pale. "...Three _billion _people died from Second Impact and the wars. They… Mein Gott… Shinji…. What are we…"

"_And my whole family was part of it!_" Shinji said, shaking. "My father… I… I knew he was… terrible, but _this_? And… gods, this sounds stupid and petty next to that, but there's more he did, on a… personal level."

Asuka gave him a squeeze and nodded for him to go on.

"Mother… she brought me to see her Contact Experiment on purpose. So I'd… know she was protecting me, and humanity. She knew I wouldn't understand just being told 'she died'. But she also knew I wouldn't understand what I was seeing, that young. So she made…" He started to cry harder. "Sh-she made videos, left letters… lots of them, for me to read and watch as I grew up, explaining what she'd done and why. She… she left them with _my father_, since they were too secret, things SEELE couldn't know about…"

Shinji pinched his eyes shut. "And he _destroyed_ them! I never knew _anything_ about this. All I knew was one day my mother was gone, and the next my father _dumped_ me at the train station like _garbage_! H-He..." Shinji's sobs were turning his words almost unintelligible. "He hid _everything_! He took her away from me _again_!_ Mother_!"

Asuka did her best to comfort him, whispering care and love into his ear over and over until he could get a grip on his emotions again. "It's alright… you're here with me, I love you, and she's alive. She's alive. You haven't lost her. She's right there with you every time you sit in Unit-01. And...and you said… she likes me?"

The reminder seemed to help. His tears didn't stop entirely, but he could meet her eyes again, and managed a weak smile. "Y-yeah… She… she saw you were… on my mind when she mentioned… that she did this all to ensure humanity would have a future. And… she was happy that I'd found you. That I had someone who loved me. She regretted being unable to hold me, so… that's your job now."

Asuka gave him another squeeze and a kiss. "I like that job. And, Gott, I think your dad just pulled permanently ahead in the 'Who Has The Worst Father' contest here. My dad was a cheating, faithless ass, but I don't think he was part of an actual conspiracy to end the world. And… so your mom was… she was part of SEELE, but… is trying to rebel? She's protecting the future or something?"

He nodded. "She said she had to be the one in the Core, so when the end comes, she can… grab the wheel, and turn things away from SEELE's plan. That it was the only way: SEELE had found her out, that she wasn't loyal anymore, and was going to kill her. I guess they didn't expect her to… to still have her mind in there. I guess they don't know as much about Evas and souls as they think."

"And… your mom did this on purpose? She knew it would…" Asuka's eyes widened. "...yeah, they didn't know. Mama didn't know. She didn't know that would happen. And… She's in the Core, but was still alive…" She blinked. "_That's_ why there were two voices! She… she was...copied or… or split when she did her experiment! But… it's been 10 years. Why is she still… Nng… I hope we have a Synch Test again soon. For once I really, _really_ want to spend hours sitting quietly in my Entry Plug."

Shinji nodded. "Me too." He started to shake again. "I… Asuka… I'm… I'm so _scared_. Mother… Mother said that… Since I'm the Pilot of Unit-01, I… I will probably _be there_ when it all happens. And because I'm alive, and not part of the Core, it… it might be _me_ that… that the world depends on. I… I'm not _ready_ for that! I… the world can't rest on _me_! I'm… I'm nobody! Nothing! Just… just a pathetic coward whose father made him be a Pilot! I'm not brave like you!" His voice was rising towards panic.

Asuka silenced him with a kiss. "Yes you are, baka mine. You… Shinji, you got into a giant robot you'd never even seen an hour before to save Rei and the whole city. You dove headfirst into a _volcano_ to save me. You saved those two Stooges in the middle of just your second battle. You may not think it, but you're one of the bravest people I've ever met. I'm scared too, but… I can take on anything as long as I've got you and Rei with me. You're not 'nothing', Shinji. You're… you're the one I love. There's no one in the world I trust or love like you. And I know you keep your promises. 'Until the end of the world, you and me, against Angels and anything else that tries to hurt us,' remember?"

He managed a shaky nod.

Asuka kissed him again. "So… now we just add 'Illuminati-imitation conspiracy to end the world' to the list of impossible things we have to defeat." Her smile was a lot less firm than it might have been, and quickly failed. "Alright, yeah, that's… Gott, I hope Misato knows what to do. This is way more than we can handle alone, even if you and I are the most dangerous warriors in the world."

"Right. 'We can do anything, because we're elite Eva Pilots'," he said, trying to smile. "Gods… Asuka… I… I don't know how I'd be able to keep myself together without you. I'd be a hopeless wreck if I didn't have you. I love you so much." He finally kissed her back.

She happily accepted it. "Good, since I've decided I'm going to keep you. And I know you're going to 'wow' me on my birthday tomorrow." She pulled his head against her own, resting their foreheads together, eyes and lips just a bit apart. "So… you hold onto me until you feel ready to go tell Misato all this, and then we'll have dinner and get to bed. You're going to need the extra cuddle-time tonight, I think."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting her familiar scent calm him. "Yeah… I'll...I'll be ok."

"Saving the world is our _job_, my dearest baka. We got this."

.

.

Rei's head snapped up from the stove as she heard the faint sound of her loves' bedroom door opening. She turned around, seeing the light of their souls moving up the short hallway, and quickly walked into the living room to see them. Asuka's glow revealed deep worry for Shinji, layered on top of the perpetual bond of love that flowed between them, but Shinji's was dimmed, shot through with fear and worry… Rei's eyes narrowed a hair. Worried… for Asuka? And her? No matter the cause, Shinji's light was flickering more than she had ever seen since her sight expanded.

She knew what to do. She had been thinking about this for weeks, and now seemed the time. She stepped right up to Shinji and put her hands on his shoulders. She looked at her other love. "He is in deep pain. Asuka… do you trust me?"

Asuka nodded, puzzled. "Of course, Rei. Why?"

"I will make this up to you." She turned her head to face Shinji, and caught his eyes. "You are loved. Never doubt this."

Then she leaned forward and gently kissed him. It was everything she'd imagined and more. And she had, frequently of late. About half of the time she spent on such things, in fact.

Shinji's eyes went wide and his light flared back to it's usual startling rainbow glory. Rei could see it even through her closed eyelids, and her kiss curled into a smile as she pulled back. Asuka's light flashed through a surprised kaleidoscope of colors before settling back to a more relieved state as she saw Shinji's face, the few flares of jealousy buried under a wave of relief that Shinji looked better. "Ah… Yeah, you're lucky we love you too, Rei. Anyone else, and I'd rip their head off for that. Yes, I do trust you."

Rei looked at Asuka with a tiny, impish smile to match the light blush on her cheeks. "And now he feels better. And I now also I know what to give you for your birthday. I hope you will like it."

Asuka started to blush. "I… um… er… Rei?" Shinji blinked and started to turn red as well.

Rei put a finger to her lips and made 'quiet' motions. "Major Katsuragi is waiting in the kitchen, with Hikari. The Major is worried: She has had only one beer. Take a moment to appear calm, and follow."

Asuka's blush drained away. "Hikari? Oh, crap, I forgot she was coming over today for more cooking lessons!"

Rei nodded. "She has been helping me prepare dinner while Shinji… rested. We have successfully prevented Major Katsuragi from… helping."

Shinji blanched too. "Ah… th-that's good, Rei. A-and… thank you." He blinked for a moment, then turned to give Asuka a kiss. "Don't want you to feel left out," he explained.

A bit of Asuka's blush returned. "Almost an hour of cuddling, you're still depressed. One kiss from Wondergirl, and you're snapped out of it? Clearly, I need to step up my game," she said, only a little tartly. She smiled, and pinched his nose. "Alright, let's… fill Misato in. This is serious stuff she needs to know."

She looked towards the door to the kitchen. "I'm… not sure we want to drop this on Hikari just yet. We may need to ask her to give us some privacy while we give Misato the first pass, and let her decide on if Hikari needs to know. This is… kind of personal about Shinji's family."

Rei tried to control her worry. "You… said SEELE in the car?"

Shinji nodded.

Rei looked even more anxious. "...Do… do not speak of them outside here. They… I know that name. They kill to protect anyone from even hearing it. _Please_… I… I cannot bear the thought of you… you…" She couldn't finish the sentence.

Asuka and Shinji shared a glance. "Rei… what else do you know about them?"

Rei shook her head, but before she could answer, Hikari stuck her head out from the kitchen. "Oh, you're up! Hello, Ikari-kun! I hope you're feeling better. Major Katsuragi said the reactivation test… had some issues?" the Fourth Child inquired sympathetically.

"Er… yes," Shinji admitted quietly. "B-but… it worked. I… it was my mother."

Hikari smiled hesitantly. "That's good news, I supp-... Er… Rei? Why are you holding Ikari-kun's hand?"

The other Children looked down. Rei did not ever remember doing it, but yes, Shinji's hand was gently wrapped in hers. It was warm and nice.

"He was feeling pretty down after the test, and Rei was giving him some comfort. Is giving," Asuka surprisingly spoke up.

Hikari gave her an almost disbelieving look. "Er… I… thought that was… um… kind of your private territory, Asuka?" she asked, sounding confused.

Asuka scratched her cheek with one finger and looked away. "Yeah, well… my sweet baka was feeling bad enough I didn't mind Rei helping some. He got… his mom had some unhappy things she told him."

"So get in here and tell me about them already," Misato said from the kitchen. "You're starting to make me paranoid from all the waiting. And I really want to see Rei holding Shinji's hand, too, since I can't believe you'd let that pass, Asuka."

Asuka rolled her eyes and motioned for everyone to move. "Fine, prepare your eyes, Misato."

Misato did blink in amazement when a lightly smiling Rei did in fact tow a still-dazed Shinji into the kitchen behind her a moment later. "Huh… I _swear_ I only had one beer so far…" she commented as the Children took seats at the kitchen table, Asuka and Shinji facing her.

"What? Is it so crazy that I don't mind a close friend helping my boyfriend feel better after he's had a dark day?" Asuka complained.

Hikari sat next to Asuka, since Rei took the seat near Shinji. "Six months ago you kept calling her a 'stupid doll', Asuka," Hikari pointed out. "And I'd have thought you'd blow your stack at anyone um… comforting Shinji but you."

"Wondergirl and I feel a bit differently about each other these days, alright? We all do. It's… it's a lot harder to be mad at Rei after…," Asuka broke off, making a tiny 'taking pills' gesture to Misato.

Misato grimaced, but nodded.

Hikari just looked puzzled. "What?"

Asuka looked at Rei's calm face before looking back to Hikari and saying, "Hikari… I'm… sorry you got dragged into this. To NERV, I mean. There's… some dark, dangerous stuff going on, and the more you know the more danger you're in. I almost wish I hadn't told you about the… the mom thing, but you deserved to know about that. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. I… don't know if you want to hear any more. And it's… Rei's thing to decide."

"I do not mind, Asuka," Rei said in her usual quiet tone. "It may be beneficial for Hikari to understand why you and I are no longer antagonistic, and instead quite close."

Asuka looked at her. "You sure?"

Rei nodded, a small smile appearing. "Yes. What you did led me to… where we are now. I do not like to even contemplate what my life would be like if you had not."

Asuka's cheeks turned a little pink. "I… you know why I did it, Rei. No one deserves that." She took a breath and looked back to Hikari. "You remember how Rei used to act?" When Hikari nodded, Asuka continued, "Well, the reason she was like that wasn't her being weird. It was… because they had her drugged to the gills on tranquilizers and worse to keep her obedient and numb. Benzodiazepines, dissociatives, all sorts of _Scheiße_."

Hikari blinked, her expression shooting right past surprise and into horror. "Wait, _drugging _her? Who?!"

"Commander Asshole and Doctor Bitchface," Asuka growled.

"Asuka…," Misato said warningly.

Asuka nearly exploded. "What, Misato?! They had Rei pumped so full of that toxic witch's brew I'm amazed Rei isn't _dead_! And they kept her that way for months, maybe _years_!They sent her into _combat_ like that! My friend! I'll call them what they are!"

"You do not need to call Doctor Akagi that anymore, Asuka," Rei said softly.

Asuka looked at her like she'd just grown a new head. "Say _what_?"

"Doctor Akagi and I… had a talk, after Unit-00's berserker event. She now feels… very guilty over how she had been treating me, on the Commander's orders. And just this week, the Commander ordered my dosage be increased. Doctor Akagi has agreed to falsify a blood test and conceal this from the Commander. She does not know I am totally free of the drugs, but has taken steps to… make amends for her past deeds. She is no longer a willing participant in the Commander's treatment of me."

"Really, Rei?" Misato said. "Maybe Kaji and I should have that little night out for drinks with her we've been discussing. She and I should talk again."

"I believe that might prove beneficial, Major Katsuragi."

Misato looked at Rei tiredly and sighed. "I'm not going to get you to call me 'Misato' off duty yet, am I?"

"Not this week, no," Rei replied, perfectly deadpan.

"I'm still not happy with her," Asuka said darkly. "I don't care how guilty she feels now. She's going to need a miracle to get on my good side again. She hurt you, Rei, and you know how I feel about people who hurt the ones I… care about." Asuka coughed into her hand, shooting a quick look at Hikari. "Um… in any case, Hikari, what Shinji's got to tell Misato is… kind of personal, about his family."

Misato gave the redhead a half-smile. "Which he has already told all of to you?"

Asuka didn't bat an eye. "Of course he has, Misato. I told you, he and I are _together_, and I meant it. No barriers between us." She took Shinji's hand and gave him a reassuring squeeze and a smile. His own smile firmed up a little as she did.

Rei nodded.

Hikari looked uncertain, but nodded too. "Rei and I can leave, if you like, Ikari-kun. You can… tell us what you want to tell later."

Asuka looked at her, a faintly confused look passing over her face. "You and Rei, right. Um… Shinji?"

Shinji bowed his head to Hikari briefly. "Thank you for understanding, Horaki-san. I… I'm afraid this is... things I wish I didn't know. Misato has to hear this, but… I guess it's no secret at this point I don't like my father very much. I just learned a whole bunch of new reasons to hate him. But I'd rather not just…" He shrugged and looked pleadingly at her and Misato.

Hikari gave him a sad smile. "It's ok, Ikari-kun. You can… you don't have to tell us anyth-"

The doorbell rang. Misato and the Children all turned to look towards the front door. They missed Rei's face shifting to a scowl. "I will get it, and send him away," she said, rising and walking swiftly to the door before anyone else could react.

The front door slid open at Rei's press of the button to reveal a beaming Kaworu Nagisa. "Good afternoon, Ayanam-"

"Shut up," Rei cut him off. "We are busy. Go away."

He blinked at her. "I'm sorry? It is the day before Miss Soryu's birthday. I thought we were still to practice?"

Rei kept her face blank, but grimaced internally. This was true. They had been planning to spend the last day before Asuka's party practicing, before Misato had informed them of the reactivation test for Unit-01. Giving him a flat look, Rei said, "Shinji has had a bad day. The reactivation was successful, but he desires to spend the afternoon with Asuka. You and I will practice without him. Remain here."

She let the door close, and went back to the others, still waiting in the kitchen area. "It is Nagisa-san. I will take him to my apartment, and keep him out of the way. Hikari, would you like to accompany me? Your company is more pleasant than his."

Hikari smiled, nodding. "That's fine, Rei. I'll get to see this mysterious present you and Ikari-kun have been working so hard on, at least. And Nagisa-san is not so bad. He's kind of cute, really, and friendly."

"If you say so," Rei said dourly. Her expression cleared as she looked at Shinji and Asuka. "Remember, Shinji. Never doubt."

Shinji blushed, but smiled. "Th-thank you, Rei. We'll… tell you later." Asuka nodded with him.

Rei motioned for Hikari to follow her as she returned to the front door. Nagisa was still smiling at her when she opened it. "Ah, hello, Class Rep-san. It is nice to see you outside of school or NERV."

"Hello, Nagisa-san," Hikari smiled, visibly a little dazzled by his charm.

"Ugh. Come _on_, new fish," Rei grumbled as she let Misato's apartment door close behind her. "Let us get to my residence and practice. We will be _flawless_ tomorrow, or I will make you eat your own instrument." She quickly headed towards her own apartment.

"Eh?" Hikari blinked at the bizarre spectacle of an angry Rei Ayanami.

Kaworu smiled again. "Oh, she is merely insistent that Miss Soryu's party go well. They are quite close these days."

"Er… right. So, show me what you've been working on?" Hikari said, falling into step behind him.

"Something wonderful."

.

.

Misato's face hardly twitched, but the slow, vicious crumpling of the empty beer can in her right hand spoke volumes. "They knew… they handed my father a lit torch and told him to go poke a stack of dynamite and _they knew?!_" Her voice rose to almost a shout.

Shinji nodded, his face dark and weary. "They… planned for it. They… my father left the day before with samples and copies of everything, just so nothing possibly _useful_ would be lost.

Misato looked at the crumpled can blankly for a second before throwing it violently at the recycle bin. "God _**DAMN**_ them! Three _billion_ people! Half of fucking humanity, and they _**knew**_!" She slammed her fist back on the table.

"And my family was right in the middle of it," Shinji said, staring down at his right hand on the table.

Asuka grabbed his chin and forced him to face her. "No."

"But Asuk-"

"I said no. Shinji, if there's one good thing we can pull out of how your father abandoned you for most of your life, it's this: None of that reflects on you. You had to grow up alone, but that means you also grew up _away from them_. Your mother and father may have been part of this, but _you_ have not. And I don't believe in any of that 'tainted blood' superstition. " Her stern expression softened. "Trust me, my beloved baka. I know you better than anyone, and you'd never do anything like that. You hate the idea of hurting people. You are not evil, crazy, or a coward. You are a thousand times better than any of them." She punctuated her statement with a firm kiss.

Misato sat down and seemed to take strength from watching the two of them. "You listen to her, Shinji. You're still the same person we knew yesterday, and none of us are going to blame you for anything your family has done. You're nothing like your father."

Shinji didn't look totally convinced. "But… my family…"

"Your family is right here, Shinji," Misato said softly. "And we know who you are." She reached out across the table and took his free hand.

"That's right," Asuka agreed. "You've got Rei and I right with you, and Misato and Kaji. Just right there is more friends and loved ones than your dad has."

Shinji finally smiled. It was small, but steadier than he'd been since climbing out of the Entry Plug. "...Thank you." He let go of Misato's hand to pull Asuka into a hug. He held onto her for a moment before sitting back and looking at Misato. "So… now what. This is… way more than we can handle."

Misato blew out a breath. "I'll get Kaji in tonight and brief him on all this. He's… got connections to people that can help. I'm not going to say, sorry. You understand."

The two teenagers nodded.

"And," Misato continued, "I think you should… minimize telling Hikari-chan. And nothing to the Fifth Child. We don't know enough about him, but from what you said about him not being at NERV-Berlin when you left, I'm not inclined to trust him until and unless we have a really good reason to think he's not working for SEELE."

"I'll talk to her. She'll understand, I think," Asuka said. "And yeah, the new fish is friendly, but there's no reason to tell him anything. We'll talk to Rei later." Asuka paused. "Misato… right before you called us in, she said she knew SEELE's name...and she was terrified. I think she knows things about them, but… she keeps implying even knowing can get us killed. I… I want to ask her, but…"

"I'll try talking to her about it," Misato nodded. "She's… probably right, too. There are Section 2 counter-surveillance teams being added to the usual protective teams watching you kids here and at school. Commander Ikari just ordered them in. I only know about it because I get updates from the teams covering you. Kaji thinks they're looking for SEELE agents."

"But from what Shinji's mom said, they… they are probably the ones who _control_ NERV and the Human Instrumentality Committee," Asuka said. "They're the one's behind all this, so… why is NERV security watching out for them?"

"SEELE and NERV may not be 100% on the same page, Asuka. Kaji's digging. I've told him not to get killed, or I'll be pissed," Misato said with a frown.

Asuka did not look very happy at the idea either. "Yeah, no dying. He's still my second favorite hunk of man after my Shinji." She leaned over to nuzzle Shinji, confirming his place in the lineup.

"I called dibs on him already, Asuka," Misato smiled tiredly. "And he's coming over in under an hour for dinner. You'll want to stay with Asuka today, I'll bet, and finish cooking, instead of vanishing to Rei's place?"

Shinji nodded. "Y-Yeah. Today I... want to be with my family, I think." He smiled weakly at her.

Misato smiled back at him. "I told you when you moved in, this is your home too, right?"

Asuka smiled too. "Welcome home, baka."

.

.

Author's Note, 23AUG16: Shinji's not having a good day, learning his entire family is crazy and possibly evil. Good thing he has Asuka to hold on to. I told you the emotional tone was a big just from the last part. I didn't expect Rei to get a kiss in, though. I was initially going to post this right after Asuka and he finished talking alone.

Next up is Asuka's 15th birthday. (Yes, I know she turns 14 in canon. I've bumped everyone a year to be a bit less leaning against the rules about teenagers on Sufficient Velocity.) Enjoy that while it lasts, it's the WAFF before the storm. You know who the next Angel is. Feel free to speculate on how it will go differently from canon, and as always, come to Sufficient Velocity for updates (weekly, 12 weeks running now!) and omakes.


	34. Ch 32 - Everything I Do Pt 9

**Advice &amp; Trust**

Chapter 9.9

**Everything I Do...**

.

.

* * *

.

"Well, that was lovely, Nagisa-san!" Hikari gushed as the grey-haired boy lowered his bow. "You should try out for the school Music Club! I'm sure you'd shine there."

Nagisa's smile shone brightly on its own. "Thank you, Horaki-san. I have given it some thought. Music _is_ the highest achievement of Lilim culture, after all."

Hikari blinked at him. "Of what culture?"

Rei loomed behind Hikari, her eyes glowing alarmingly red. She held up a sheet of paper. 'STOP FLIRTING WITH HER. SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND AND I WILL DESTROY YOU IF YOU MAKE TROUBLE. AND 'LILIM'? YOU STUPID FISH!' it said.

"Uh..." Kaworu tried to make his brain work fast to cover that slip, but his body had become suddenly fascinated by Ayanami's appearance when angry again. "I mean... human culture. Sorry, I've been speaking German up until recently." He judged this a success by the way Ayanami's death glare dropped a notch.

"Oh, German? So you were at NERV-Berlin with Asuka?" the petite brunette asked.

He thought faster. "Ah... I didn't run into her while I was there. I was rather bottled up." He tried another smile, those seemed to distract her for some reason. "I didn't actually meet her face to face until I arrived here."

Hikari looked bedazzled again. "Oh my..."

Rei held up the paper again. The first two sentences were now underlined, as was the last. _Twice_.

Hikari rallied. "S-so why do you call her 'Miss Soryu', then?"

"Oh, it's just a little nod to us both having come here from Germany. I don't know her very well yet, but a little taste of Germany is something I can offer her."

"That's very nice of you, Nagisa-san," Hikari said with a smile. "So, you play the violin _and _piano, speak German, and are very ha-... kind! You're going to be very popular with the girls in class."

Kaworu looked at her, intrigued. "Why is that?"

Behind her, Rei facepalmed and held up the paper again. The last sentence was now underlined _**thrice**_.

"Cultured and handsome foreign students often attract plentiful attention, Nagisa-san," Rei said dryly, breaking her silence. She casually put the paper down on the table, face down. She had the feeling she'd need it again later. Frequently. "Though in your case, I wonder if you will know what to do."

"How should I respond properly, then?"

"Be like Kensuke," Rei said. "That would be a good start."

Kaworu looked puzzled. "I should... date as many girls as possible, then select two?"

Hikari giggled and put her hand over her mouth.

Rei tried to burn a hole in Kaworu's face with her glare. "_No_."

"But he di-"

"We will discuss it _later_," Rei said in the same tone of voice a judge would pronounce sentence on a major criminal. "For now, we will finalize preparations for Asuka's birthday party tomorrow. You will bring an appropriate gift if you wish to attend, Nagisa-san."

"A shame we didn't get to go shopping for presents together, Rei. I did find Asuka some nice video games," Hikari said, smiling. "I know you were still deciding. Did you figure out what to get her?"

Rei nodded, looking happier. "I am giving Asuka some lip gloss tomorrow."

Hikari looked confused. "Your best friend, and all you're getting her for her birthday is a tube of lip gloss?"

Rei stared at her. "...tube?"

.

* * *

.

"Asuka… It's time to wake up," his voice said gently in her ear. Warmly. Lovingly. It made her smile as she woke.

"Nuh uh," she articulately countered. "Iz t'm to stay righ' hr'." She burrowed a little closer into his arms. It was difficult: she was already deeply wrapped therein, using his chest as a pillow. She made up for it by refusing to open her eyes. It was nice and comfy right where she was.

"As nice as staying in bed all day with you sounds, it's still a school day. We've got to get up," her boyfriend pointed out.

"Dun wanna. Here's good."

"Maybe we can do the 'all day in bed' thing tomorrow," Shinji offered. "Though… I think Misato-san would make a _few_ pointed jokes at us over what she'll assume we've been doing that whole time when we finally come out."

"She can assume whatever she likes. She might be right anyhow," Asuka murmured with a sly grin. "Alright, I'm awake. Meh, school. Why couldn't my birthday be on a weekend this year?" She sat up and stretched, smiling wider as she watched Shinji's eyes drink in her entire move.

He finally snapped out of it when her stretch ended. "This way you get to show off at school too?" He rose from the bed and started getting dressed. "And it's early enough you don't need to rush. I woke you up now so you'd have time to enjoy the full German breakfast I got mostly ready before I came back to bed to wake you. I know how you hate waking up alone."

She got out of bed herself and gave him a kiss before starting to get her own clothes for the day. "And a nice way to wake up it was. Wait, if you went to get breakfast ready and came back, why are you just getting dressed now? Did you make breakfast… er…"

Shinji blushed as he finished buttoning his shirt. "Um… yes. I figured Misato would be the last up, so if you woke up alone before I came back, you'd at least have the consolation prize of finding me… um… 'mostly-naked-apron'?"

Asuka laughed at the image. "Oooh, nice."

Shinji cleared his throat. "Und… Auch ich werde versuchen, heute so viel Deutsch zu sprechen, wie ich kann." [And... Also, I will try to speak as much German today as I can.]

Asuka's eyes lit up. "Ah? Wunderbar, mein baka!" She laughed again. "Ich habe den besten Boyfriend." [I have the best boyfriend.]

.

* * *

.

"This keeps up, we're gonna need a bigger meeting spot for lunch," Touji said.

Sayaka smiled. "I dunno, I kind of like the tight space." She scooted a centimeter closer to Kensuke's left side. Kyoko matched her on his right. Kensuke did not look like he was going to complain.

Asuka would have rolled her eyes, but considering she and Shinji were sitting fairly close together at the lunch tables they'd commandeered for the day, she could hardly complain herself. It was in fact kind of heartening to see Kensuke's two girlfriends (and she still had a hard time even thinking that without it sounding crazy) were starting to loosen up. They'd both been a bit nervous and stiff when they found out that being with Kensuke meant they were now invited to eat with the Eva Pilots' group.

Which had rather expanded from the days it was just her and Shinji sneaking off to eat together. Asuka looked around. Kensuke sandwiched between Sayaka and Kyoko, check. Her and Shinji, check. Hikari and Jock-Stooge, check. And... Ok, not all happy couples: Rei and Nagisa, sitting well apart, Rei practically radiating 'I am not with him!' in sheer body language. Nagisa, for his part, was smiling happily at the group of Pilots, significant others, and friends. He seemed to be rather enjoying just being in such a large collection of people his age that was not just a class.

"Mmm, yeah, it has it's points," Hikari said from Touji's lap. "I don't have to lean as far to do this, for example." She delicately placed a piece of tempura in Touji's waiting mouth, then nabbed another piece for herself from the bento he was holding for both of them.

Sayaka giggled. "And not just for lunch, too. Last weekend Kyo-chan and I showed Kensuke how you _can_ fit three people in a two-man tent when camping... if you're all friends," she said with a wink.

"We are going to get in _so much_ trouble if your father figures out we did that," Kyoko moaned.

Sayaka reached across their boyfriend to gently pinch Kyoko's nose with her chopsticks. "Eh, we'll be fine. Dad never checks when I say I'm doing a sleepover at your house, does he? And besides, it was _so_ worth it! Wasn't it, Ken-chan?"

Kensuke vigorously nodded. His expression turned sheepish when he noticed his friends all staring at him, though. "Er... eheh. Um... We were careful?"

Rei left off her mild glaring at Nagisa to look at the trio. She smiled. "That is good to hear on all counts, Kensuke. You are a good and proper gentleman."

Nagisa looked over too. "So I _should_ act like K-"

Rei glared death at him again. "_No._"

"Everyone can come to the party, right?" Shinji asked, trying to divert Rei from attempting to set Nagisa on fire with her eyes.

"Wouldn't miss it!" Kyoko nodded. "Too bad it's not a sleepover. All night karaoke and fun with the whole Evangelion Pilot corps sounds like the coolest party ever."

"I think Misato-san would consider letting nine teenagers, most of them dating one another, to be a bit much even for her party appetite," Shinji pointed out. "Plus all of us are going to be a tight fit even just for the party."

"We could use my apartment for a sleepover in the future," Rei offered quietly. "There is more space, as I have less furniture. And I do not mind the happy company."

"Ooh, good plan, Ayanami-san," Sayaka said with a grin. "Party at Ayanami's place next week!"

"Us too, Ayanami-san?" Touji asked.

Rei nodded. "Of course. You are my friend too, Suzuhara-san, as well as Hikari's partner."

Touji blushed at this. "Y-yeah, I g-guess." Hikari grinned.

"I didn't even know you liked our favorite gorilla, Rei," Asuka said, amused at watching him squirm.

"He is a good person. He was a good friend to Shinji when he was new here, is physically attractive, and sincere. If he was not already taken by Hikari, I would have considered him for a partner in the social experiments I conducted with Kensuke," Rei said, perfectly calm.

"Thank you?" Touji said, nonplussed. He gave Hikari a hug to reassure himself.

"And thank you for not, Rei" Hikari added. "I saw him first." She smiled, though.

Rei smiled back. "I would never disrupt your bond, Hikari. You two shine together."

Kaworu suddenly looked more intently at the group, then at Shinji in particular. "Shinji-kun, are we friends?"

Shinji blinked. "Um… yes? You've helped me with Asuka's present, you're a Pilot like us, you're friendly...why wouldn't you be?"

Kaworu's gaze shifted to Rei. "I am a friend to Shinji. I have been told I'm attractive, by you, even. I am as sincere as I can be… am I your friend, Ayanami-san?"

Rei's eyes widened a little, but she said nothing, staring back at him for a long moment. "Yes," she said eventually, with no inflection.

Kaworu's smile was just a hair wider, but some shadow had left it. "I'm glad."

Rei's face relaxed a bit. "Perhaps you acting a _bit_ like Kensuke would not be entirely a bad thiiiiieek!"

Rei squeaked in surprise as Asuka's pale, slender arms wrapped around her from behind and pulled her into a hug. "Yeah, but _Shinji and I_ saw her first. Nyaaah!" She stuck her tongue out at the grey-haired boy.

Rei's cheeks turned rosy pink. "A-Asuka, I…"

Asuka slid one arm back behind her and pulled Shinji in too, reveling in holding her two favorite people. "I love you guys," she said, laughing.

.

* * *

.

"This is torture," Asuka complained with a smile. She took another deep breath of the delicious smells wafting in from the balcony next to Rei's. She stretched her arms out in front of her, staring at the dimming sunset sky off Rei's balcony.

"It is torture that is at an end, however," Rei replied, glancing at the clock back inside. "It is time." Shinji had asked them to wait at Rei's apartment until 1730 while he cooked the surprise dinner. Hikari had gone along to assist in the cooking, and at Rei's quiet suggestion the rest of the party attendees had been sent along to help with set-up. Rei had been only too happy to keep Asuka company by herself. They'd found uses for the time. She looked at Asuka, blushing again. "Did you… like my present? The um... lip gloss?"

Asuka again turned almost as red as her hair. "It w-w-was fine! Great! I…" Her voice dropped to an embarrassed whisper. "I… I'm really happy about it, Rei. I've been thinking about it for weeks."

"As have I. Today seemed… fitting." Rei smiled as she lead Asuka to the door. "I owe you much, and you both are worth everything. I love you both, and will protect you in battle and at home. "

Asuka smiled, but gave Rei a serious look as well. "So are you, Wondergirl. Six months ago I hated you. Now you're… very important to me. To _us_. Shinji and I want you to make it through this war with the Angels too. All of us. 'One for all and all for one', and all that." She abruptly stopped Rei just short of the front door with a hand on her shoulder and pulled her into a fierce hug. "I can't stand the thought of losing you _or_ Shinji. You stay safe with us, ok? It… makes me worry sometimes, when you talk like that."

Rei hugged her back. "Then I will not make you worry. If my loss would make you unhappy, then I will not permit it to happen."

Asuka smiled. "Good. Now let's go see what my darling baka has whipped up for my first proper birthday party in forever." She opened the door.

"You did not have birthday parties in Germany?" Rei asked as they left her apartment and walked next door to Misato's.

Asuka shrugged, her expression clouding briefly. "Nothing… real. My father and step-mother would make… appearances, and give me a present or two, but then leave me to NERV for the most part. And when I was in college, I always got the feeling I was treated more as a 'kid mascot' or curiosity than a peer. I never… had anyone close like you and Shinji back then."

She shook her head and visibly pushed the memories away. Her smile returned. "This is better. Way better. I actually _like_ everyone who's going to be at this party for me. Even Geek-Stooge and his girlfriends."

"Even Major Katsuragi?" Rei teased gently.

"Yes, even her," Asuka shot back. "She's been fairly understanding about Shinji and I, more than I was afraid she might be." She swiped her keycard through the lock and let them both into the apartment. "And if she hadn't forced me to move in with her, Shinji and I might never have-"

"_Alles Gute zum Geburtstag, Asuka!"_ The welcoming shout nearly knocked her backwards into Rei as she turned the corner from the entrance hallway into the kitchen area.

Hikari and Touji let off a handful of party poppers from the sides, showering her in confetti. The camera flash blinded her for a moment as Misato snapped a picture from the back of the pack. She was the tallest after Kaji, standing beside her.

"Willkommen zu Hause, Asuka," Shinji said from the front of the group, smiling broadly. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. Asuka found she was able to smile and blush at the same time as he gave her a slow, thorough kiss in front of everyone. "Abendessen ist fertig." He stepped aside to let her see the table, already laid out.

Asuka's smile got wider. He'd really gone all-out. The table fairly groaned under the weight of all the food and the pile of gifts behind them. "_Schwenkbraten,_ mit Rosmarin garnierte Klöße, und Birne mit Preiselbeeren [Marinated roast pork steak, rosemary garnished potato dumplings, and pear with cowberries]," he said proudly. "Und Prinzregententorte."

Asuka giggled. Despite his best efforts, Shinji still had a persistent, cute little accent to his German. "Liebling, mir gefällt's ja, aber da Hikari und die anderen nunmal kein Deutsch können... vielleicht doch lieber Japanisch?" [My love, I appreciate the effort, but maybe Japanese for the rest of the party, since Hikari and the rest don't speak it?]"

Misato snorted. "Du scheinst einen merkwürdigen Einfluss auf Leute zu haben, Asuka. Offenbar können fast alle auf dieser Party Deutsch! [You must have a weird influence on people, Asuka. Turns out almost more people at this party speak German than don't!]" Misato's accent wasn't nearly as prominent, nor as cute as Shinji's. Then again, she and Kaji had years of practice from when they'd been stationed at NERV-Berlin. "Ich, Kaji, du, Shinji versucht's; und Kaworu-kun. [Me, Kaji, you, Shinji's trying; and Kaworu-kun,]" she listed.

"Und ich," Rei said softly from behind her.

Asuka turned around in surprise. "Warte, _was_? Rei, du sprichst Deutsch?!"

"Ja," the First Child said. She had a strange accent, like she'd never said the words out loud, but she was clear.

"Was? Wie? Warum hast du nie was gesagt? [What? How? Why didn't you ever say so?]"

"Du hast nie gefragt? [You have never asked?]"

.

* * *

.

Asuka put down her fork, sat back, and patted her stomach. "Oh Gott, that was good, Shinji. I haven't had Prinzregententorte like that in forever." She took a slow sip of her present from Misato, a nice Franziskaner Weißbier. She was a little surprised Misato let her, but it wasn't too much. Misato had been the one who bought her her first beer back in Germany, after all. And she'd been quite firm about that being the only beer she was allowed to have tonight. Everyone else was still restricted to sodas.

Shinji smiled at her praise. "That's just part one. Now… I bet you've been wondering what I've been working so hard on the last two weeks."

"Damn right I am," Asuka snorted. "So mysterious, and neither Rei or the new fish would even give me a hint."

To her left, Rei was getting up from the table, her now common tiny smile in place. "He did stress the surprise was important, Asuka."

Kaworu was rising with her. They walked into Shinji's old room and emerged with their instrument cases and Shinji's cello case.

Asuka nodded. She'd somewhat expected this. So her dearest baka had been practicing a piece for her?

Kensuke, Sayaka, and Kyoko helped push the couch they'd been sharing out of the way to the side, letting Rei and Kaworu begin setting up. Hikari rapidly cleared away the remaining plates while Shinji took out his cello and smiled at her.

He tentatively cleared his throat, suddenly looking a little nervous. "Um… thank you all for coming to Asuka's party. I wanted to make her birthday really special this year, and I know having you all come helped."

He fussed awkwardly with his bow for a moment. "I… still have a hard time believing someone as brilliant, beautiful, and amazing as Asuka could pick someone like me to be with. And… nothing makes me feel happier than being able to make her smile. There's only a few things I'm really any good at. I can't Pilot an Eva in here, and I just did my best at cooking, so… here's the last one: Music."

"Music… helped bring us together, kind of. The night Asuka and I first kissed," he blushed, "was the day she came home from a blind date Horaki-san had set up for her. She didn't really like the guy, so she came home. I… I didn't even realize it at the time, but… she could have gone anywhere, done anything… but she came home to spend time alone with me. Like a baka, I missed that. She came in while I was playing Bach's Cello Suite No.1, and she… applauded me. It was the first time she'd ever been… so nice to me."

Asuka blushed herself as everyone turned to look at her.

"I played for half the afternoon," Shinji continued. "Later that night, she asked if I wanted to kiss her. And it's been…" He swallowed. "...th-the best part of my life since then. I've never been so happy. And I hope I've made her happy. So when I had to think of a present for her birthday that would really feel like what I wanted to show her, music was my first thought. I'm… Asuka says I'm better than I think at it, and Rei and Kaworu-kun have been a big help with getting this all ready…"

He stopped himself, took a deep breath, and tried again. "So I did… I wrote her something. Something new. I hope you all like the world premiere of the _Asuka Langley Soryu 15th Birthday Concerto_."

Asuka blinked. "Wait… you _wrote _me an entire _concerto_? For a _present_?"

He nodded, flushing.

Asuka shared a stunned look with Misato and Hikari. "Holy crap, Shinji… I don't even know what to say."

He smiled sheepishly. "Then just relax and listen for now?"

He raised his bow, looked to Rei and Kaworu, and at their nods, began to play.

And it was glorious.

It soared. It soothed. It made her sigh with a rolling, intricate melody that expertly wove the violin and viola over the steady, deep hum of his cello. Rei was a trifle uncertain at times in her playing, but Shinji and Kaworu's confident playing carried her along without difficulty.

Shinji's eyes kept flicking to the music stand in front of him, but whenever they weren't, he was looking at her. He didn't seem to look at anyone else's reaction. Just hers.

And react she did. In every line, Asuka could hear it over and over: _I love you. I love you. I love you._

She put her head back, closed her eyes, and fought a losing battle to hold in her tears. Only once, in the aftermath of speaking to her Mama, had she let herself cry in public in ten years. Shinji's music blasted right through her walls. When she could not hold in the joyful tears anymore, she opened her eyes again and locked her gaze on Shinji. When he met her eyes, she mouthed 'I love you' to him, and smiled as she cried. She didn't mind. He was crying too.

The music slowly trailed off to a gentle end. There was a breathtaking moment of rapt silence before Misato and the others burst into applause. Shinji seemed to shake himself out of trance, breaking himself out of the look with Asuka before he gave a sheepish bow. Rei and Kaworu bowed with him.

"So… it was ok?" he asked.

Asuka stood up and walked over, pushing his cello gently aside so she could embrace him. "You baka… it was _perfect_." She kissed him.

.

* * *

.

A rather fetching blouse from Kaworu. A bundle of video games from Hikari and one more from Jock-Stooge. A beer from Misato, and a proper German stein from Kaji. Gift certificates to her favorite beautician's shop from Sayaka and Kyoko. A surprisingly well-done 1:24 scale model Tiger II tank painted in Unit-02's colors from Kensuke. It even had 'The Red Demon' and a tiny picture of Shinji on the turret. A whole pile of clothes, CDs, jewelry, and more from Shinji, of course. And a birthday card with a sweet handwritten poem from Rei that earned her another hug from Asuka, to which Rei blushed. As did Asuka when she realized she'd done it in front of everyone else.

It hardly stopped the party. Rei and Kaworu volunteered again, offering to play some more pieces… to give Shinji and Asuka a chance to dance.

Which left Asuka now happily enfolded in Shinji's arms again, her head resting on his shoulder as her feet automatically took her through a slow dance with him in the confines of Misato's living room. Kaji and Misato had quickly joined them, as had Touji and Hikari after a moment of prodding. Asuka smirked to see Kensuke awkwardly looking between Sayaka and Kyoko. His dilemma was solved for him when the girls flipped a coin and Sayaka took first dance.

Asuka smiled again when their slow turning brought their musical accompaniment into view. Rei was watching them dance with the most glowing expression Asuka had ever seen on her friend's face. Mostly them, but Rei was also clearly watching all the couples dancing.

"Rei really does like watching people in love, doesn't she?" she murmured to Shinji.

He nodded slightly. She felt him twitch in surprise at something, and made a questioning noise. He turned them so he could see where Kensuke and Kyoko had been dancing, after Sayaka had switched out.

Sayaka and _Kyoko_ were now slowly dancing and holding each other close. Kensuke watched from the side, smiling gently at them. His smile only grew warmer when Sayaka gently nudged Kyoko's chin up and kissed her. The kiss went on for a while, too.

Asuka blinked in surprise, but kept dancing. She shot a look at Hikari and Touji, but Touji's eyes were closed and Hikari's back was to them. Misato and Kaji seemed to have missed the kiss as well.

"Huh… I… guess that explains why they don't mind sharing Kensuke," Asuka said quietly.

"And Kensuke hasn't breathed a word. I… don't know what to say, if anything. Is… I've never even… people can do that?" Shinji said, sounding more confused than anything else.

"I've heard of it, back in Germany. Never thought I'd see it here. And I… got to give Geek-Stooge credit. He hasn't blabbed about it in public, hasn't acted like any kind of horndog, and actually been… pretty respectable about it." Asuka suddenly nibbled on Shinji's neck. "And if you tell him I said that I'll bite you harder."

"I'm not sure that's a _dis_incentive," Shinji said, trying not to laugh.

Asuka nuzzled the side of his neck again. "Thank you for doing all this, Shinji. I've never had a birthday this happy. I'm… you wrote me a _concerto_. How am I supposed to match that when it's your birthday?"

"At least you'll have 6 months to come up with something?" he smiled.

"Well, you've already got my heart, you're always on my mind, and in a couple hours you're going to get my body…" Asuka said silkily. "I'll have to think of _something_." She giggled again when he noticeably squeezed her a bit tighter at that.

"I love you, Asuka. I loved getting to do all this, to make you this happy," he said tenderly. "And… I… Asuka, something I'm only starting to realize is… I'd _never_ been happy before, not like this. I had nice days, and some moments growing up, but… I was never really happy, just… there. I was so empty I didn't even know what I was missing. And then… you. Some days when I wake up, if you weren't lying there next to me, I'd think this was all some wild dream made up by a lonely boy. Now I feel… _alive_. I'm… actually excited about the future, about _having_ a future, being able to fight for one. You kind of saved my life, Asuka. I owe you a hundred birthdays like this."

"You saved my life in that volcano, I save your life with a kiss… we should make this a long, steady habit, Liebling. Might come in handy as long as our afterschool job is 'Evangelion Pilot'," she replied, nuzzling his neck again. She delighted in his shiver of pleasure.

"Look around. Everyone here is here because… you decided to kiss me," he said into her hair. "And they all look so happy. Even Rei and Kaworu-kun."

"I think he likes her." She could almost hear Shinji's eyebrows go up. "Let me guess, you missed it?"

Shinji gave a tiny nod. "You know how bad I am at things like that."

"I wonder if I'd have had more success getting your attention earlier if I'd just put a big sign on my head reading 'I KIND OF LIKE YOU, YOU IDIOT'," Asuka mock-grumbled. "But… the way he looks at her sometimes, when she's not looking. It's… he's interested, I'd bet. I mean, Rei _is_ hot, sweet, and a good kisser…"

"Yeah…" Shinji said, remembering. He blinked. "Hey, wait a-"

"She got me while we were waiting in her apartment," Asuka said sheepishly, blushing. "Said it was my birthday gift. I'm just sorry you weren't there to watch like I got to for yours. It was… very nice,"she said dreamily.

His embrace of her didn't slacken a bit. She could feel him smile, too. "Me too," he finally said. Now he stiffened a little, though they kept dancing. "Asuka… we both love her. But… I'm scared, and I think you are too. Of… trying what… what Kensuke, Sayaka, and Kyoko are doing. I'm scared enough that I might do something wrong just with you! We're not ready, and… we may never be, or how long it might be. And… it's not fair to… make her wait until we might be."

"But you kind of wish we could, and we both… want her to be as happy as we are," she nodded, equally conflicted. "So we… help her?"

Shinji again looked at Kaworu for a moment. "Should we encourage him? I mean… if he likes her…"

Asuka shook her head. "Not yet. I still don't trust him enough. Why did he pop up so suddenly, when he wasn't at NERV-Berlin when I was there? For all we know, he works for… them. And anyone that close to Rei would… would end up knowing about our mothers, NERV's shady parts, and things we need secret for our own good. So until we know more, I don't think he gets to be on the list of 'good enough for our Rei'. It'll be up to her anyway. No help unless Rei decides she wants to give him a shot. They haven't exactly gotten along great so far, though they're getting better."

Shinji smiled into her hair again. "'Our Rei'. I like that. We're going to have to find a real star for her."

Asuka lifted her head from his shoulder, pressing her forehead to his. "Hey, Nagisa's not bad. Cultured, an Eva Pilot, and a cute butt. He just needs to pass the 'security check'. Maybe he'll be okay once we make sure he's not working for the vast evil conspiracy. Our Rei deserves an elite boyfriend too. And we're still going to love her, no matter what."

Shinji nodded just a little, not wanting to move his head so much as to break their close mutual stare. "She deserves as many happy days as we can give too. We should make her birthday as good as yours."

"We really need to remember to ask her when her birthday is. Though I bet there's a good chance she might not ever remember, after all the crap Doctor Bitch pumped into her." Asuka scowled, but shook it off. "Anyway, that's for tomorrow. Tonight has been wonderful, Shinji, but… it's late, and this little Aschenputtel wants her Prince Charming to give her a present she's been waiting weeks for." A familiar, amorous expression grew on Asuka's face, and she hit him with _that_ look. "Let's get everyone on their way home, and you and I… to bed."

Shinji started to turn red all the way down past his collar. "R-Right!" He jerked his head around to look at Rei, urgently signaling her with his eyes.

Rei merely gave him another one of her tiny smiles, but waggled her viola at Kaworu in a little circle. The Fifth Child nodded back to her, and they quickly brought the last song to a rapid end.

The various dancing couples gave them a round of applause. Rei and Kaworu bowed smoothly, and began packing away their instruments. Shinji nervously cleared his throat, and announced, "Th-thank you Rei, Kaworu. And with that, I'd like to thank everyone for making Asuka's 15th birthday the best she's ever had. But it's time to end the party, and let her enjoy some rest."

"I know what youuuuuuu~'re thinking, Shinji!" Misato sang. She followed it up with a wink that was probably illegal in four countries.

Hikari and Touji stared at her, confused, before Hikari gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh!"

Touji looked at her. "What? What is…" His eyes bugged out. "Oh!" he echoed.

Sayaka and Kyoko shared a wicked grin before attaching themselves to Kensuke's sides, giggling. "You heard him, Ken-chan. Time for all good girls to go to bed," Kyoko said from his left.

"And we're good girls, right?" Sayaka added from his right.

Kensuke looked rapidly between them. "Um… yes?"

"Let's go, then," Kyoko said. She waved to Asuka. "Thanks for inviting us, Asuka-san! See you tomorrow!" The trio headed for the door, bidding Misato goodbye on the way past.

Hikari managed to cool her own blush and let go of her boyfriend long enough to come over and stand in front of Asuka, looking like she didn't know whether to bow, hug Asuka, or burst. "H-happy birthday, Asuka. Th-thank you for inviting us. You and… you and Ikari-kun...um… have a good night?" She was still red when she finished.

Asuka patted her on the shoulder. "Relax, Hikari. Yes, that's what we're doing. And you know better than anyone it's not just about… the physical side." She threw a smile at Shinji. "It's the rest, too."

"I know! It's just… oh gods… you're… I mean… Major Katsuragi is…" She looked over her shoulder.

Misato just grinned. "It's fine, Hikari-chan. Asuka and Shinji have proven they're mature enough for it to my satisfaction."

"It still seems… so… improper!" Hikari tried to explain. Her eyes darted to Touji, and she blushed again. "And keeps making _me_ think about it!" she half-whispered to Asuka.

Asuka resolved Hikari's dilemma by giving her a hug. "So think. And don't feel like you need to 'catch up' or anything. You and your Stooge will be ready when you're ready. He's a meathead, but he's a total softy inside, I can tell. He'll listen to you, Hikari."

Hikari smiled back, a little less red. "He is… that's why I like him. Goodnight, Asuka, Ikari-kun." She bowed, took Touji's hand, and left. Touji waved over his shoulder to Shinji and Asuka as they departed.

Rei stopped to give them both a hug as she headed for the door. "Happy birthday, Asuka. Have a good night." She gave Shinji one too. "I… love you both," she added, barely loud enough to hear. Pink-cheeked, she almost skittered towards the door, Nagisa trailing behind.

"Goodnight. I will see Ayanami-san home," he said. "Thank you for inviting me, Miss Soryu, Shinji-kun."

"She lives literally next door, Kaworu-kun," Misato pointed out, smirking. "Nice try, though."

"I didn't say it would take _long_, Major Katsuragi," he said, following Rei out.

Misato rolled her eyes. Her grin at them was knowing. "Alright, we can clean in the morning. I know you want to 'get to bed'."

"Actually, we can finish the cleanup now. There's not much left, just a few dishes," Asuka replied. To Misato's raised eyebrows, she added. "What, you thought I'd grab Shinji the moment everyone was gone, run to our room, and start with the screaming and moaning?"

"Kind of, yeah," Misato said back, sticking her tongue out at Asuka.

"I told you, we're mature about this. I know Shinji will be there next to me tomorrow night, and the day after that, and the day after that. I have some restraint, Misato." Her look sharpened. "That having been said, we are totally going to get you back for keeping _us_ up listening to you this week."

Misato shot a guilty look at Kaji for a second. The taller man merely shrugged and muttered "I told you they'd hear…"

"_After_ we clean up like responsible adults. Right, Shinji?" She headed for the kitchen. "Now, off to bed with you two," she shot back over her shoulder.

"Yes, 'mother'," Misato snarked right back. She rolled her eyes and turned to Kaji. "Oh boy, our little girl is all grown up."

Kaji just chuckled. "Goodnight, Shinji-kun. Very good party you threw her." He took Misato's hand and pulled her towards Misato's bedroom.

Shinji shrugged and smiled. "I like making her happy. Goodnight, Kaji-san, Misato-san."

.

* * *

.

"Tonight was wonderful, Shinji. And you made me cry, you brilliant, creative bastard." Asuka's fingers ran through his hair along his temple. "Don't you ever, ever… stop doing that." She scooted closer in the bed to kiss him. "Ever."

His arms went around her pulling them close together. A tiny, pleased sound escaped Asuka's lips as he did. "As you wish, Asuka. Anything that makes you smile, I can do. I've got a whole year to write the next concerto, even."

"Shinji Ikari, if you start writing me an entire _series_ of original compositions for presents, I'll… I'll…" Asuka struggled to come up with something. "Oh, you baka!" She gave up and kissed him harder.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now…" She rolled on top of him, grinning wickedly. He gasped as he felt her slippery, fiery heat settle _right there_. "It has been a _month_. Let's cost Misato some sleep."

.

* * *

.

Author's Note, 30AUG16: I hope you enjoyed Asuka's birthday. This was something I'd been looking forward to ever since I started writing A&amp;T: The chance to give Asuka one perfectly happy day, as opposite to the one she had in canon as possible. I did promise WAFF.

But you all know what's coming next. Hopefully, being together makes all of them strong enough to weather the storm. Both Asuka and Shinji have a lot more to fight for now.


	35. Ch 33 - Everything I Do Pt 10

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 9.10

**Everything I Do...**

.

.

* * *

.

"There are three separate surveillance teams watching us right now. One has a sniper rifle aimed at me."

Rei glanced at him. She raised one eyebrow minutely. "Unsurprising. Commander Ikari is aware of what you are. I would have told him automatically before, so it would be suspicious if I had not now. I apologize for the... watchers."

Nagisa shrugged. "At the very least, he suspected I was a spy for SEELE from the start, if he did not know of my true nature before I even arrived. He would have them watching me regardless."

"And how do you know all that with such certainty? I expect Section 2 to be watching us at all times, and our residence always has a security perimeter, but you are not guessing, are you?" Rei stopped outside her door.

He shrugged again. "A facet of my loneliness. I can tell when any other being is observing me. The act of looking at me causes subtle vibrations in my AT-Field. With that, it is easy to extend my perceptions out to feel who it is and what they are doing."

Rei continued to stare at him. "Fascinating. And what does this have to do with why you have followed me to my apartment? The party is over. Depart, and leave me to enjoy observing the light of their souls in peace."

"Following you out was a convenient excuse to leave the party. We both know what they will be doing soon, and do not wish to impede that, yes?" His questioning look at her won a tight nod. "Also... I wanted to thank you."

She eyed him a little suspiciously. She turned to swipe her keycard through the lock and opened her door. "Enter. Briefly."

He smiled, and stepped inside. The door hissed shut behind him. Rei was already removing her shoes and heading down the hall. He took off his own and followed.

She stopped in the kitchen area, which had a table like Misato's. She pointed to a chair and ordered, "Sit."

She vanished around the corner into the kitchen proper, and emerged a moment later with tea and an electric hot water pot. "You have until the tea is ready. Talk. What do you want to thank me for?"

"It was your request that I assist you and Shinji-kun in practicing for the performance at the party, and teaching you viola in a hurry that brought me in to all this. And... playing music with Shinji-kun and you for the last two weeks has been... the best time of my life. The party... the way they both _shine_ when they look at each other..." Nagisa trailed off, a serene smile on his face. "It is good to see him so happy. And I understand more now, that she is what makes him happy. It is... a glorious feedback cycle..."

Rei nodded, then froze. "Stop it."

He blinked at her. "Stop what?"

"That. Being friendly. Stop it."

"I don't underst-"

"Stop being a friend!" Rei almost shouted at him. "I feel a Call too, and Lilith's Call tells me to fight the invader, kill the threat! _You_ are a threat just by living! I don't want to have to kill a friend! This only has two ways this ends; you die or everyone dies! And I will _not_ let you harm them, _Tabris_!" she finished, panting. She hung her head. "I don't want to have to kill a friend."

He rocked back in his seat, blasted by her emotions. It took him a moment to form a response. "…You are my friend, Ayanami. I feel the same instinctive hostility to you as you do to me. But I keep it suppressed. I do not want to be your enemy."

Rei looked away. "This was easier before you came here. Everything was easier. An Angel comes, we destroy it. My loves are protected. Everything was simple. Then you showed up… you stupid, dangerous… fish." She sighed. "I just want to enjoy their happiness tonight, not… not think about how I have to kill you."

Nagisa looked towards the wall separating them from Misato's apartment, staring at the same point Rei was. The glow they could both see was strong. "They are... beautiful. I read about him before I came. I expected… he would be the purest Lilim heart, fragile and beautiful as a crystal sculpture… but he's more, _they're_ more. I have never seen such beauty. They are separate, alone behind their AT-Fields… but _not_. They are separate but together, always. I don't… how do they do that?" he asked her, almost begging.

"I don't know."

Nagisa kept staring. "He is happy. I have never seen that before. It's never _been_ like this before. He is not alone. Neither is she." His voice was full of raw pain.

Rei looked back at him, the shift in his tone breaking her attention away from the glow.

A single tear trailed slowly down his cheek as he met her gaze again. "I don't want to be alone, Ayanami-san. It _hurts_."

Rei stared back at him, sudden realization slamming into her like a lightning bolt. "...You are just like me."

"Please be my friend."

Rei sucked in a sharp breath. "No no no no no no no! Do not do this! Just... I… I don't… stupid fish…"

She stood up, ignoring the now boiling pot of water. He reflexively stood up too, as she came closer, haltingly. "We can't… I can't…" Her hands gripped his shirt again. But no blows or shouts followed. He just went rigid as her arms slid around him and she hugged him.

"I don't want to have to kill a friend," she said barely loud enough to hear. She squeezed him tight for a second, then pushed him away, back towards the door. "Just... just go. Please." She turned and fled deeper into the apartment, sliding her bedroom door closed behind her with a loud clap of wood.

Kaworu numbly stumbled to the door, put his shoes back on, and exited the suddenly oppressive apartment. His feet automatically walked him down the row of doors, into the elevator, and out into the night once he reached the ground floor. He had the vague feeling he should turn around, but thinking was pain right now, so he just let his feet go as they would.

It was therefore several minutes before he consciously noted he was walking directly for the nearest access train to the Geofront. He forced himself to stop. "No... No! I will not!" he growled at himself, fists clenching. His heart hammered in his chest, and he could feel the near onset of panic breathing.

He turned around. He could still see the apartment building he'd just left in the distance. He could see the lesser blaze of Major Katsuragi and Inspector Kaji lighting up their floor, indicating they had already made it to the Major's bedchamber, but his eyes and ears were drawn to the far greater light coming from the other end of the same apartment.

The light of their souls _sang_ to him. That was a secret he had not shared with Ayanami. He did not quite see the light of Lilim souls the way she did, but he could a bit... and much more, he could _hear_ them.

And Shinji and Asuka made... the most incredible harmony he had ever experienced. The finest symphonies he'd ever heard paled into mere squeaking in comparison. It was like the music of the spheres itself, enough that even at this distance it nearly made him weep in envy and longing and need.

_'And I have never told Ayanami-san that her light resonates in tune with theirs when she is near them. When she watches them, and I can see that she wishes she was with them.'_

He focused on that. The way her face looked when she watched them, the way it made her already ethereal beauty even more alluring. How even at her angriest, she still fascinated him so much. The feel of her body against his just a little while ago. He held that memory _tight_. Not for any lewd reasons... simply because no one had ever done that before.

He wished his first hug had lasted longer.

His panting slowed, easing. He took a step away from the Geofront access point. Another. Another. He let his fists unclench. "No… not yet. Not tonight. He is happy. She is happy. I…I will not. I choose. I _choose_. Not tonight."

He wiped way the tears and sweat. The Call was strong tonight. But he could still choose.

_'Ayanami-san... Rei... you... you are just like me?'_

His apartment beckoned. He hoped thinking of them... or of her, would let sleep come.

.

* * *

.

"This is stupid this is stupid this is so stupid we shouldn't be doing this this is stupid..."

Ritsuko jittered from foot to foot in her apartment's living room, the smooth tile cool and slick under her bare feet. She shot another look at the clock. It had only been 90 seconds since she last looked, but her tension kept ratcheting up.

"This is beyond stupid..."

_'And you want this so bad you can __**taste**__ it, Ritsuko,'_ her brain argued back at her. _'This literally saved your life and you __**need**__ this.'_

"This could get us both killed. This could expose Rei and get _her _killed. This could blow up so badly because I'm stupid and needy and I shouldn't even have thought about this let alone asked her and oh god she said yes what was I thinking oh god..." she rambled off again. Her pacing got faster.

_'You need this. Bad. How long has it been? How long has it been since you were held by someone you know cares about you? Ten years? More? It's not like Mother was all that affectionate after Father ran off with his 'secretary'.'_

'How long has it been since you've honestly felt loved?'

"I know!" she almost shouted at herself. "This is _still_ stupid! The whole reason we haven't gone out in public together is that bastard could have us both shot the moment he figures out I'm not dancing to his tune anymore! And fuck whatever happens to me, but he could hurt _Maya!_"

It had been a stupid idea from the start. She and Maya were cooling down from yet another intense make-out session in her private lab, barely managing to keep their skirts on, when Ritsuko bemoaned the fact Maya couldn't stay the night with her, because she'd be seen coming or going, and that would give them both away, since there could be no explanation for Lieutenant Ibuki spending the night at Doctor Akagi's place.

Maya had lit up at the suggestion. She rapidly confided to her new girlfriend that she'd harbored eager thoughts of the same thing, and how she wished they could do it _that night_... and finally go all the way.

Ritsuko's worry-spiral diverted for a moment back into erotic fantasyland. Maya, topless, bouncing up and down, practically wriggling with eagerness as she described how much she wanted Ritsuko to 'be her first' had proved her undoing. Ritsuko had stared at Maya's chest and distractedly started to mutter about how she could loop a few of the public corridor surveillance cameras, divert some guards with directed room checks, and order one checkpoint unmanned for 'clear-environment electronics checks'... and give Maya a narrow window where she could move from her apartment to Ritsuko's unseen by any MAGI-connected camera or human guard.

Maya had given her the most blazing grin, followed by an equally hot kiss, rapidly whispering eager, vivid promises to be there as soon as the window was activated, and do everything they'd been wishing for but had had to put off.

Ritsuko had the MAGI programmed and the whole operation set up before terrified common sense had set back in. But Maya had already departed for her place, gathering up supplies and some groceries for a romantic meal to enhance the evening.

Which left one Metaphysical Biology expert now anxiously pacing her living room rug in a silk robe, working herself into a nervous, self-loathing fit.

"You're stupid and needy and weak and you **know** you shouldn't be going this fast! It's only been a few _weeks_ since you even talked to her and even _then_ you said you knew you were emotionally vulnerable and it was stupid stupid _stupid_ to jump right into a new relationship especially right after a half-assed suicide attempt oh GOD DAMN IT, RITSUKO!"

She dropped heavily onto her leather couch, holding the sides of her head.

"And she's willing to forgive you for being _so stupid_ that you were helping a heartless bastard try to end the world. That's how needy you are. You were willing to do it all for _him_. Torment Rei, end the world, pick out new kids to get shoved into giant abominations powered by their mother's _souls_..." She rubbed helplessly at the tears flowing down her face. "You're falling in love with this... this cute, sexy _saint_ you don't deserve. And you're so pathetically desperate for someone to hold you you're willing to risk her life and yours for it. God, you're worthless."

_'She likes you, despite everything you've done. And she's willing to risk her life to help you and be with you. What have you done to earn this sort of forgiveness?'_

She should just... keep Maya away, keep her far from her, before Gendo inevitably finds out she's not going to be his tool anymore, and... and...

_'You can't even just walk into his office and empty that R-92 revolver you keep in the lab into his face. That will just let SEELE complete their plan unhindered by anyone who knows anything about it, and Maya dies anyway. Kill yourself, same problem. The best you can do is figure out how to stop them __**both**__, and try to earn the right to love someone as good as she is.'_

Ritsuko shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. "You're so pathetic. You can't even face your own sins without her anymore. And she forgives you. You're so stupid..."

The soft knock at the door made her jump. _'Oh shit, she's already here!'_

Ritsuko unsteadily rose from the couch and nearly ran to the door. She'd had to keep the disruption of the cameras to a minimum to reduce the chance anyone would notice, and this meant she had to let Maya in _quickly_. She hit the 'open' button as soon as she reached the door.

The door slid aside with a hiss, revealing a smiling Maya Ibuki, wearing a long coat and carrying a couple bags of food. Her smile widened and her eyes lit up as Ritsuko opened the door and she dashed inside. She put the bags down and turned around while Ritsuko threw a worried look out into the hallway before shutting and locking the door.

"Ristuko-se-, I mean Ritsuko!" Maya threw her arms around Ritsuko and hugged her. "I can't believe this is really happening!" Her smile dimmed as she took in Ritsuko's tear-streaked face and pained look. "What's wrong?"

Ritsuko tried to steady her breathing. She looked Maya right in the eye and softly said, "I love you."

Maya's eyes got _very_ wide. "W-what?"

"I don't deserve you and I'm terrible and pathetic but you like me and forgive me and help me and I'm so stupid this is a horrible risk I have no right to ask this of you and I need you and you're so good and wonderful and I want you so much and I-" Ritsuko babbled until Maya halted her with a kiss.

"Ritsuko! Ritsuko! Calm down! I'm here, I'm here, it's ok!" Maya rubbed her hands up and down Ritsuko's back. "I'm right here. I _wanted_ to come. It's alright. Now... go back to the part where...um... you said you love me?" She sounded hopeful, if confused.

It was a phrase neither of them had dared use before. They'd been together mere weeks. Ritsuko had stressed often enough to herself that she needed to be careful, to go slow. That right after leaving the hollow relationship with Gendo was no time to... to really fall in love. Her brain knew all this.

Her heart hadn't listened.

"I was... nervous. Waiting for you," she began. "I... got... got into this depressive spiral, worrying that I was risking both our lives just because I was horny and needy and... wanted to wake up being held. And... and despite all the things I've done you still like me and are willing to help me..." Ritsuko sniffled. "Th-that I could get us both killed if I fuck up, b-but... if we live through this... that I've still got a shot at... being _happy_ because of you." Her eyes dropped away from Maya's. "And... I don't deserve that. But you're here anyway. So... I love you."

Gentle, cool fingers pressed up under her chin, lifting her face back up. Maya stared at her, eyes searching, but expressionless. "Say it again."

"I love you. You're cute and sweet and forgiving and warm and sexy and I don't know how I'd go on without you and mmph!"

It suddenly became hard to talk. Maya's tongue was halfway down her throat. Ritsuko closed her eyes and let her arms wrap around Maya's warmth.

It was a long moment before either of them came up for air. Maya was shaking. "R-ritsuko... I'm so _scared_! I... I wanted you for so long, and this has felt like a dream... and a nightmare. I... I _know_ you... you've done bad things, and there's... um... a vast conspiracy to end the world that could squash us like bugs... but... I love you too."

It was Ritsuko's turn to blink. "W-what?! Me? I... no no no no you shouldn't you can't this is stupid I'll get you killed and I'll never be able to forgive myself!" she babbled again.

"I do." Maya hugged her close, burying her face in Ritsuko's neck. "I'm terrified and want to freak out and have no _idea_ how we're supposed to stop SEELE and Commander Ikari... but I'm with you. I've always admired you, wanted you, and wanted to be like you... and... that you need me so much doesn't feel... bad, it feels... like I have to be... be strong enough to help you. You... you told me there'd be no going back if I let you tell me. But... that's ok. I mean... if you hadn't told me, I'd be in almost the same danger, and blind. I would feel safer, but... the world could end and I'd never know why. At least now I can fight it, and... be with you. It's worth it."

"I don't deserve you," Ritsuko sniffled again. "You're... pure sunshine, Maya."

Maya gave a laugh into her neck, a note of hysteria in it. "I'm terrified and worried that you need me so much, but... it's you and me against the forces of evil. I'm the heroine of a story all of a sudden. Why shouldn't I get the gorgeous girlfriend to go with it?"

Ritsuko laughed a little in her tears. "You are such a cute little dork, Maya." She hugged her tighter. "How did you get to be the strong one in this relationship? I'm supposed to be the tough older sempai."

Maya pulled her head back and gave Ritsuko a kiss. "Because you need me to be. And I will always give my sempai everything she needs. I can... freak out later. Like, after we defeat the global conspiracy of evil. Then you and I can have a nice long vacation to Hawai'i or something."

"What if we lose?"

Maya shrugged. "Then we're all dead and it doesn't matter? I _want_ to be with you on a sunny beach, rubbing tanning lotion into your back. I've imagined it a lot. So... we don't fail. I want my happy-ever-after with you."

Ritsuko blushed a little. "You... you've thought about this a lot?"

Maya blushed back. "Um... I did mention I had a raging crush on you for months, vainly hoping you were into girls, remember? I thought about you a _lot_."

Ritsuko's blush faded a bit, but her nervousness went up. "And... happy-ever-after? You... you mean..." She swallowed. "Y-you want something... long-term?"

Maya's blush deepened. "W-well... either we'll be together until the end of the world or... um... e-ever after." Blush still accelerating. "S-so... um... I... um... love you. You're brilliant and beautiful and you need me and I want you so much..." Blush approaching incandescent. "A-and... you love me. I... I used to _fantasize _about you saying that to me. I would cu-" Maya suddenly slammed her mouth shut and squeaked.

Ritsuko blinked again. "You... you'd touch yourself and fantasize about us being in love? And _that_ would set you off?"

Maya nodded jerkily, looking like a shy tomato.

"But you've never actually had sex with anyone?"

An even tinier nod.

A laugh escaped Ritsuko's lips that was almost a hiccup, or a sob. "Maya... Pick up those bags. We're going to make the best romantic dinner _either_ of us have ever had, then I'm taking you to bed. I'm going to show you just how much reality is better than fantasy. And then we're going to wake up together..." Ritsuko's smile started to grow. "For the first, but _absolutely_ not the last time."

.

* * *

.

Misato stared at the phone. This should be easy. She'd done it literally hundreds of times in just the last year.

"But it's not the same now... we know too much. Too many lies..." she muttered. "And I still can't understand _why_."

She sighed, and picked up the phone.

.

* * *

.

"Shh! Shh! I need to answer this!" Ritsuko slapped Maya's hand away from continuing to play with her earlobe and spun her chair back around to pick up the phone. Maya giggled and reached for her blouse. Back to work. "Doctor Akagi."

"Hey, Rits."

Ritsuko blinked and sat up straighter. They hadn't spoken outside the most necessary, clipped professionalisms since the incident with Unit-00. And for the last two weeks, she'd been both too busy and, she was forced to admit, too afraid to even try to call her old friend up and talk. Even Maya's occasional gentle prodding on the topic had produced nothing but mounting guilt over how she'd snapped at Misato, one of her only friends. "Ah... hello, Misato. Um... what can I do for you?"

"It's my birthday tomorrow."

Ritsuko flinched. She'd actually forgotten. "Oh? Not so scared of getting old now?"

"I'm only turning 29, and you're still older than me." Misato's voice was still kind of cool, but at least a ghost of her old humor was filtering back in. "Anyway, Kaji and I were going to go out on some pre-birthday drinking tonight, and wanted to invite you along. Like old times."

Ritsuko's throat tightened. "Like old times," she repeated. Old times. Before she was complicit in crimes that would dwarf Hitler, Stalin, and Mao combined. Did she even deserve to hang out with them anymore? Did she-

Maya finished zipping up her uniform blouse and stepped closer to plant a kiss on Ritsuko's cheek.

Ritsuko's mind snapped back into gear. "Ah, of course, Misato. I'd love to. I've been... meaning to call you and apologize for being a bitch. I'm... sorry I snapped at you like that."

"Oh, that was a month ago, Rits. We've been friends a long time. Apology accepted. So... you're coming?" Misato sounded... hopeful?

"Yeah, I've been.. working too much lately. I could use a night out with friends." She caught Maya's hand before she could turn to leave and held it. Maya turned back around, giving her a curious look. "Maya and I have both been working overtime on this project. She could use the break too. Do you mind if my poor overworked kouhai comes along too?" She winked at her girlfriend... no, her lover.

Maya grinned like sunshine and clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle more giggles.

"Sure, the more the merrier!" Misato replied. "Pick you up at 1830 at Surface Train Station #2?"

"It's a date," she said, winking at Maya again.

"Great. See you later!" Misato hung up.

Maya let her hand drop away and giggled madly. "Ritsuko, is this how you're arranging our first public date? Sneaking it along with drinks with Inspector Kaji and Major Katsuragi?" She leaned over to give the seated woman a hug. "This is great!"

"Anything to make you happy, Maya. I owe you." _'Until maybe I feel like I deserve you.'_

.

* * *

.

Lieutenant Ibuki smiled as she accepted the drink from Misato."It's really nice of you to let me come along, Major Katsuragi. I know you've all been friends a long time."

The vastness of the Geofront at night sparkled outside the windows of the Tokyo-3 Crystal Cave Bar, offering them a spectacular view as they leaned on the counter. The background hum of the bar made a nice counterpoint to Misato's slowly growing buzz.

Misato resumed her place at the center of their claimed slice of prime viewing territory. It had been her turn to hit the bar for this round. She grinned and took another sip of her cocktail. "It's fine, Lieutenant. Like I told Ritsuko, the more the merrier. This _is_ my pre-birthday party, in theory." She raised her Chocolate Pirate. "See? I have ice cream."

"And I am left bereft of liquor, so that you might enjoy yourself," Kaji mock-moaned from her left. "Well, mostly bereft." He took a tiny sip of the one cocktail he was permitting himself to nurse all night, then a larger one of the accompanying soft drink.

Misato stuck her tongue out at him. "I'm sure your sacrifice will be made good later, you big baby."

"Yup, you're sure a grown, mature woman of almost 29 now, Misato." Ritsuko snarked from the other side of Maya. "You haven't changed a bit since college."

"Neither have you, Miss Fussy Britches," Misato shot back with a smirk. "I can _still _out-drink you, and I'm a better dancer."

Ritsuko rolled her eyes. She looked to Kaji. "When are you going to stop hanging out with this lunatic? She's clearly a bad influence on you."

Kaji smiled, then looked at Misato, who gave him a wicked look full of promises. "Oh, I think I might stick around a bit longer. Well, _after_ I go to the bathroom. Be back in a moment." He saluted them with his martini, then headed off to the bathrooms.

Misato watched him walk off with an unconcealed ogle. "Yum yum yum..." she said quietly, and took another sip of her drink. _'Fricking amazing that he's just gotten __**hotter**__ since college. Hell, we all look pretty damn good.'_ She eyed Ritsuko and Lieutenant Ibuki. They'd both appeared for their pickup in very fine and fancy dresses. Ritsuko was dressed to impress in a slinky green silk number accented with gold jewelry. Lieutenant Ibuki had turned out in a daring royal blue satin dress that had one shoulder bare, with the dress clasped off with a gold brooch on the other. _'I think that's the first time I've seen Lieutenant Ibuki in civvies, too. She's not looking bad either. The men in this club have sure been staring enough. I don't think either of them have noticed, though.'_

Lieutenant Ibuki's sunny smile at them dimmed for a moment into a grimace. "Nnng."

Misato cocked her head in concern. "You alright, Lieutenant?"

Ibuki shook her head, her smile returning. "It's nothing, I'm just a little sore. I think I need to hit the bathroom too. I'll be right back." This last was directed at Ritsuko with a even bigger smile.

Misato took another drink, savoring the bite of the 151-proof rum. _'This isn't that bad an evening.'_

Ritsuko smiled as Lieutenant Ibuki turned to leave, brushing her hand across Ritsuko's as she left.

Misato discovered that 151-proof rum and Kahlua is not _nearly _as pleasant when you snort an entire mouthful of it out your nose.

"Ow~! Ow! Ow! Ow! Sunnavabitch!" She frantically grabbed for some napkins and tried to clean her face and top.

Ritsuko turned back to face her, worried. "Are you alright, Misato?"

Misato waved at her. "I'm fine, I'm fine, just... had a little tickle in the back of my throat when I had a mouthful."

_'Holy fucking backflipping Buddhas on bicycles. Rits and her minion are... are... That was no friendly hand-pass, and...' _Misato watched Lieutenant Ibuki walk away. Now that she was looking for it, the distinctive hitch in her stride was blatantly visible. _'Yup, Maya's walking like someone spent last night drilling her like West Texas. Holy shit, they're fucking. I know it.'_

"Soooo..." Ritsuko drawled suggestively. "How long have you and Kaji been back together? Don't bother denying it, I can see from the way you leered at him when he walked away. And didn't you swear 'never again' with 'that guy', hmmm?" she smirked at Misato.

Misato gave her a vengeful glare as she finished wiping her face. Her sinuses were still on fire, but the pain was momentary. She was going to savor this moment for ages. "Oh, a while. We had a good talk a month or two ago. So, how long have you and Lieutenant Ibuki been sleeping together?"

Ritsuko went death-pale. She fumbled her drink badly putting it down on the counter, and it slipped over the edge. It hit the floor with a sharp crash that was almost like a gunshot above the soft background music of the bar. "W-w-what are you talking about, Misato? We...we're just co-workers."

Misato gave her old friend an amused look, but her mind raced behind her mask. _'Ok, what the fuck? I expected a reaction, but she looks like I just threatened to murder her parents in front of her.'_ "Co-workers, huh? Rits, we've known each other how long now? Ten years? I was your _roommate_. I know better than anyone you like girls too, not that we're mentioning that one night, and more importantly, I know what you look like when you're dating one. And _you_," Misato pointed at her, "And _she_," she pointed off after the departed Lieutenant, "Are _definitely_ a thing. She hasn't managed to stop smiling at you all night, she's walking like she's sore in a _particular_ way, she just brushed her hand across yours as she left, ...and you _lit up_ when she did."

Ritsuko looked around furtively, almost desperately confirming no one else they knew was here. She finally looked back at Misato, still extremely pale. "D-don't... don't tell anyone. We...we can't... can't..."

"Jesus, relax, Rits. I've known you like girls too since forever. Have I ever said anything bad about it? And I will admit, I did enjoy our one drunk night." Misato's weak joke didn't seem to calm Ritsuko much. _'She still looks like she expected someone to come in the door with a gun any second. What the Hell?'_

"I... I... just... Maya's got very strict parents, and... and... I don't want this to get out at work, ok?" Ritsuko stuttered. "I... I don't want _anything_ bad to happen to Maya."

_'That's the first __**true**__ thing I think you've said, Rits...' _Misato blinked. That was it. _'Ibuki doesn't know. Rits is terrified she'll find out, or Commander Ikari will... ah. Yeah. If people find out Rits and Ibuki are together, they can threaten Ibuki to get at Rits. I get it now.'_ Misato squashed a nasty thought that she and Kaji could try using the young Lieutenant to weasel information out of her about what Rits was up to themselves, and would if they had to.

"Relax, Rits. I won't say a thing to anyone but Kaji." She held up a hand when Ritsuko looked like she was about to object. "Come on, he knows you used to date girls too, and he's going to figure it out just from watching you two. You both are... it's not hard to see, once you look. You're... a cute couple, actually. I mean, she looks like she's over the moon, and you look... you look happy for the first time in I don't know how long."

Ritsuko's shoulders slumped. "I know. I am. She's... I feel like I've been holding my breath for _years_, and she's my first taste of air in forever. I feel so much better with her..."

Misato smiled again. "So... what happened? I could tell she was crushing on you since I got to Tokoy-3, but I thought you were ignoring her."

Ritsuko shrugged. "I... she saved me, when I froze up during Unit-00's berserking. She stayed with me until I woke up. And... we talked, the next day. Decided... we'd give it a shot."

Misato's eye's narrowed a hair. _'You were telling the truth... then not. Why lie about it? Need to discuss it with Kaji. If she's lying about how or why they hooked up, it's probably related to Ritsuko's secrets. If she hasn't told Maya what she's up to for NERV... hmmm.'_

Aloud, Misato said, "Well, you both look happy, so... good luck, treat her nice, and... I think Kaji and I are going to head home. Not that we're leaving to do a little 'after party' of our own or anything... but it's a convenient excuse that just so happens to leave you both here, totally not on a date, right?" She winked.

Ritsuko smiled wanly, but it brightened when she spotted Kaji and Maya returning. "That's... that's nice of you, Misato. I'm... really sorry for being a bitch before."

Misato smiled, downing what was left of her drink. "It's alright, Rits. We've been friends a long time. We still are."

She took Kaji's arm as he walked up, prompting him to shoot her a curious look. "You and I are leaving," she told him. "We've got an appointment with my futon. Early birthday present."

"For me or for you?" Kaji said amusedly, but shot a 'we doing this in front of them?' look at her.

Misato gave him a tiny nod, and an equally tiny 'look at them _both_' look. Kaji's eyes didn't widen when he gave Lieutenant Ibuki and Ritsuko a brief look, but Misato could tell he'd seen it.

Lieutenant Ibuki had sat down close to Ritsuko, and grinned at her. Ritsuko couldn't meet Misato's eye, and was faintly blushing.

Kaji's next look at Misato was full of understanding, but he still asked out loud, "You good to grab a taxi home, ladies? Misato seems to want to call it a night already. Getting old must be getting to her."

Ritsuko waved a hand. "We're fine, Kaji. Lieutenant Ibuki and I will get along alright by ourselves. We're responsible adults." Ritsuko cocked her head. "Hey, before you go, Misato..."

"Hmm?"

"How come we're out here tonight, instead of on your actual birthday?"

"Oh, Shinji has a special dinner and a cake for me planned for that night, and I didn't want to disappoint him. So, a little party at home. There may or may not be funny paper hats." _'I wanted to spend my birthday with my family,' _she didn't say. Ritsuko wouldn't understand that she really meant it.

Ritsuko snorted. "You and Daddy have to go home so you can tuck your kids in to bed? So ollllld, Misato."

"Blow it out your ass, you old hag," Misato shot back with a grin. She waved goodnight to Lieutenant Ibuki, who was just starting to go a little wide-eyed at the realization she and Doctor Akagi were being left alone together at a bar. Misato chuckled at her expression, and savored it as they left.

.

* * *

.

"So... those two, huh?" Kaji rumbled quietly as he drove them towards her apartment. "Called it."

Misato snorted.

"No, really. Saw the way Ibuki looked at Rits, saw it coming. I'd have bet on it happening sooner, but..."

"But what?"

"I was half-convinced Ritsuko was sleeping with Commander Ikari."

Misato left off her staring out the window to give her ex-ex-boyfriend an 'are you crazy?' stare. "Say _what_? Prince-Not-Even-Close-To-Charming? Mister 'I make Darth Vader look like a great dad'? You think he had _Ritsuko_ on the string?"

Kaji shrugged. "I had some moderately convincing stuff about their movements, and such. And It _would _explain why Rits never seemed to respond to Ibuki's crush."

"So why now?"

He shrugged again. "Dunno. Need to think about it for a bit. But you think Ibuki doesn't know?"

"Mostly sure. Ritsuko was way more scared at people figuring out they were dating than she should have been. I'm guessing it has something to do with that."

Kaji sighed. "So we might have to look at working on her or them both ourselves. Blackmail, threats, etc... To our friend and her girlfriend."

"We don't have a lot of choice. We know how high the stakes are."

He nodded. "I'll see if I can get into her lab or something. Her file encryption is too good for remote access, but if I can plant something in her lab, or into her network directly..."

Misato nodded. "I can clone my access card, get you in that way, if you can avoid the cameras normally."

He smiled. "I love you. A woman after my own heart."

"Flatterer. Now get us home. I've got a good buzz, and I want you making me feel even better soon."

.

* * *

.

.

Author's Note, 16SEP16: Kaworu's having a bad night. Ritsuko and Maya a better one. But now Kaji and Misato know they're a couple, and things will change.

Kaworu's in for another serious talk with Rei in the next scene… and then the Angel of Birds comes to call. No one's going to enjoy that. Place your bets for how it goes and who gets hit. All I'll say is canon is no longer a guide here.


	36. Ch 34 - Everything I Do Pt 11

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 9.11

**Everything I Do...**

.

.

* * *

He was almost done with his search pattern. He'd criss-crossed the city completely over the time since his arrival, letting his senses give him a constant bearing towards his target. He could feel it right now, pulling at him, singing that constant, deep hum at the back of his mind. The unmistakable song of a Progenitor, 7 kilometers below him and a little south of where he now stood on a roof overlooking the city center.

He no longer even had the excuse that he did not know where Adam was.

He tried to unclench his fist. He'd been tense. The last three days had been... hard. He'd managed to go back to his new apartment and sleep, but the lack of school the next day had left him too much free time, and his wounded solitude had lost the argument with the Call, and he'd spent the weekend completing the thorough search pattern of the city that he'd left off when Re-... Ayanami had requested his help in Asuka's present.

With that over, and Ayanami's... rejection, he'd had nothing to stop the Call from pushing him to finish that delaying step. So now, he was finding it harder and harder to come up with reasons not to just-

In his pocket, his NERV-issued cell phone rang. Not the alarm call of an Angel attack, just a regular incoming call.

He snapped out of his trance with a sharp intake of breath, and dug into his pocket. A small smile sprang to his lips when the caller ID turned out to say 'IKARI, S.' He hit 'accept' with almost palpable relief. "Hello, Shinji-kun."

"Hello, Kaworu-kun. Are you busy?"

He shivered. "No, not at all. What can I do for you?" he said warmly.

"I tried to catch you at school, but you left so quickly. I... um... if you're not busy, could you come to Rei's apartment? We're about to try some new music for Misato-san's birthday tonight, and I thought you might like to join in, since you enjoyed playing together before."

Relief and dread shot through him. He'd left school quickly for the same reason he hadn't been back to Ayanami's place since the night of Asuka's party: He and Ayanami had been completely avoiding each other. Even at school Monday and Tuesday, they'd not so much as exchanged a glance, let alone words. Now... he couldn't avoid this. If he said no, he knew the Call would only surge higher.

"I'd be delighted, Shinji-kun. Let me collect my instrument, and I will be there in less than an hour."

"Great! Just come in when you arrive. We'll be playing and might not hear the doorbell." Click.

Kaworu stared at the phone for a moment, then headed for the stairs down. Music. Perhaps the songs would soothe him more than Ayanami's presence made him hurt.

He hoped.

* * *

He could hear them for blocks before he got there, faintly. By the time he walked up to her door, the music and their songs were just pouring out like an exuberant flood. He made it as far as the kitchen before his other sight resolved the glow into a sharp picture of Ayanami, Miss Soryu, and Shinji-kun sitting in Ayanami's living room, intently playing Beethoven's string trio in G Major, Op 9/1.

(watch?v=QtpxJxcB1Eg)

The cello effortlessly passed the lead to the violin, who passed it to the viola. Back and forth, weaving in and out of each other, handing the lead off over and over... and the whole time Miss Soryu and Shinji-kun shone like small suns, their souls dancing with each other as much as the music.

And Ayanami... Ayanami orbiting around them, resonating in tune with them, glowing and humming to his other hearing like the most tantalizing siren in the world.

He stopped in his tracks. Tears began to flow. It was too much. He was beautiful. They were beautiful. And she... she was _beautiful._

She _shone_. He had to... had to see more. He stuck just enough of his head around the corner to see her.

It was a mistake. She looked even _better_ than in his other sight and hearing alone. The completely serene look on her face, the graceful sway to her arms as she played, the tiny, heartbreaking smile on her lips... All of it because of the ones she played with. She looked happy, and _loved_. She radiated it. She was the full moon in a starlit sky, serene and gorgeous and unreachable. As she had ever been, and would be.

_'They are so wonderful together. How could I ever... ever dare to think I could... be that one. To earn that look from her. How did I dare? Stupid, stupid fish, just as she calls you.'_

The music went on, like a rolling river, energy and motion and inexorable pull.

_'You threaten the death of all she loves just by being alive. You know your fate. And when has it ever been her?'_

(watch?v=UEW8riKU_tE)

_'How did you ever dare imagine yourself worthy?'_

He had no idea how long he stood there, silently letting the tears roll down his cheeks, at once reveling in the joy pouring off them and aching that it was utterly beyond his reach. Every note was a joy and another sharp, piercing reminder of his loneliness.

Too much. Too much. He turned to leave, to flee, but his violin case bumped against the chairs beside the table, causing enough clatter to be heard over the music, which stumbled to a halt.

"Kaworu-kun? Come in, we were waiting for you," Shinji's voice called to him. He stopped.

Delicate footsteps behind him. That unmistakable presence bumped against his AT-Field. He turned.

Crimson eyes met his, unreadable. Her face was as perfect and blank a mask as ever. Neither of them said anything for a moment. Then she stepped back and aside, gesturing him in. "Please come in, Nagisa-san. We... would like you to play with us."

He wanted to run. He wanted to scream at her. To throw his violin at her and demand to know why she was doing this when she had told him to go. Just looking at her made the Call surge in the back of his mind, along with the urge to attack his Lilithian opposite.

He forced a smile to his face, and quickly wiped away the traces of his tears. "Of course, Ayanami-san. I would be happy to."

She nodded, a sharp flicker of understanding passing across her face. That somehow hurt too. But... a little less.

Shinji stood up from putting his cello into its case and stretched. Asuka did so as well next to him, earning an appreciative look from Shinji, and a small giggle in response from her. "Mm, that was pretty good, for the first time the four of us have played together. You think so, Kaworu-kun?"

He gave Shinji a placid smile. "It was very nice, Shinji-kun. This was a pleasant afternoon."

"We've got to get going, though," Asuka put in. "We need to leave now to hit the shops for the meat and things for Misato's dinner." To Kaworu's inquisitive look, Asuka explained, "It's Misato's birthday tonight, and my sweet baka here has promised her a birthday dinner almost as good as mine. But we need to get moving now in order to make it back in time to cook. We'll play later tomorrow."

They picked up their instrument cases and headed for the door. "Oh, you're invited too, Kaworu-kun," Shinji called back. "Misato-san said it was fine."

"That's ah... very kind of her, Shinji-kun," he said, packing up his own violin. "But I..."

A slender hand on his shoulder stopped his polite refusal in his mouth. He looked at Ayanami, who shook her head silently. "Come," she said, softly.

"Rei, you coming?" Asuka called from the doorway.

"Go ahead, Asuka. I wish to speak to Nagisa-san for a bit," she said, her eyes never leaving his.

"Alright! We'll see you when we get back!" The door beeped closed as they left. The apartment dimmed only slightly as their light receded.

His skin burned and tingled under the warmth of her hand. He shook it off and stepped back. "Why?"

"To apologize."

"To apologize," he echoed hollowly.

"Yes." She turned away for a moment, packing her viola. "I... was unprepared for... what happened. I suddenly... understood your pain. And I could not bear it. So I told you to leave, and I am sorry."

"Sorry?! _Sorry?! _I nearly walked to the Geofront and did what I'm constantly afraid I'll do before my conscious mind even caught up with the pain! I _asked_ you, that _day_, if I was your friend! You said yes! And then... and then you told me to go! To stop being your friend! I..."

Rei's back was still to him. "I'm sorry," she said, still softer.

"I just asked you... _begged _you to be my friend! To not leave me to suffer alone! Not to love me, not to see your body, not _anything_ but what you'd already said I was! And you told me to leave!"

"I know."

"_Why did you hug me?!_"

She stood silently with her back still to him until long after the echoes of his shout faded. She turned around, red eyes finally meeting his.

"Because... you needed it. And I..." She looked aside. "Because I could... ease your pain. By showing you you were... not alone."

"I am! You... you know I am! And how much it hurts! And now I know that... that losing that.. feeling that you are not alone feels even _worse_. "

"I was alone. And numbed so I would not care about the pain that it brought me every second. Until they saved me, and showed me what being... cared for could be like. I... I'm sorry. I was unready for the recognition that you are... just like me. Alone, half-Lilim, half something else, created and meant to be just a tool in another's plot for Instrumentality. Hurting. I could not bear it... I made you leave because... I thought it would hurt less. But it did not."

She stepped closer, her head down a little, hiding her eyes under the fringe of her hair. He almost raised his arms defensively.

"I stopped myself. From going down there. By... hope. That you were... not beyond my reach. A friend," he said. "By... remembering the feel of you. Of being held. I'd... I'd never been hugged before."

She was very close now. Her head rose, her eyes meeting his again. "No one should be... that alone," she said. "Never?"

"You think the SEELE lab technicians that created me did? Or anyone in NERV-Berlin? I... you are a _torment_, Ayanami-san. You are... you understand, you are so beautiful, you distract me from the Call... and then you... push me away, ignore me, and... you have no idea how _painfully_ beautiful you were today."

"Painfully?"

"Yes, painfully! It... it _hurts_ to look at you, be near you! You... you are... You saw what happened when I came in and saw you! You... you have no idea how... you _blaze_ when you are near them! And they... they are even _more_! I... I don't know if I want to... to be you, or be _them!_"

"Be... them?" Rei said, confused.

"They love you! I can see it!" Kaworu's hands clawed at this hair in frustration. "You... you hugged me and said I was your friend and I felt so much better but then you said no and told me to leave and it hurt and I almost went down there and I hate you and I want to hug again I've never been hugged before so alone it hurts you made me leave it hurts it's never been like this before I don't know what to do-"

"Stop," Rei said, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"_DON'T TOUCH ME!_"

Rei jumped backwards in shock, her jaw dropping.

Kaworu stood there panting, his hands clenching over and over. The panting was still an improvement over the near panic-breathing he'd been rapidly moving towards.

Rei stood still, a bit more than arm's reach back, face still frozen in alarm. She slowly relaxed to her usual blank mask as Kaworu's breathing slowed. "I was trying to help. You were about to... burst."

"I... realize. Th-thank you. But... I am... having difficulty suppressing the instinct to regard you as an enemy right now. S-sorry," he said carefully. "And... it still hurts."

"I apologize. You are... too much like me. I... feared the pain of empathizing with you, and sent you away. It only increased your own."

"Yes. I... you understood. But then still rejected me. I... the Call is... very seductive when... I feel that bad. It... it promises an end to my pain." His hands curled into tight, shaking fists. "And... an end to my pain is becoming... very, very attractive."

"Don't-"

"I _know!_" he exploded. "I know! I don't _want_ to kill everyone! But... it feels so _right_ in the back of my head! An end to my pain, a filling of that _burning_, terrible emptiness inside me! _I won't feel alone anymore!_" He was panting again. "And then I come here and see you with them and remember that means killing all of you and wiping out their light and yours and..." His head sank. "I just want it to stop hurting. I don't know how much longer I can stand this. This thing is slowly taking me apart."

Rei stepped closer again. Very cautiously, she took his left hand in her right. "You are not alone."

Desperate eyes locked on hers.

"You... are friendly, cultured, a talented musician, and attractive. You are not... bad. Kaworu Nagisa is... my friend," Rei said slowly.

"...but Tabris is your enemy," Kaworu finished.

She nodded. She pulled him by the hand towards the chairs they had been using when playing. Seating him in one, she pulled her own closer to face him directly. She stared at him for a moment. "Your pain is... intense, constant, and increasing."

He nodded.

"And... anything that promises an end to that is... hard to ignore."

He licked dry lips. "Yes."

"And it hurts that I rejected you, and... to be around me?" Rei sounded more cautious now. "I understand, partly... I think."

He fiddled with his violin case, still in his other hand, before putting it on the floor. "You... you are very attractive. Beautiful. And... you understand. You said you were my friend... You said..." He swallowed. "That you are just like me. I... it is not just your body..." He started to hunch in on himself. "I wish... I was not me. What I am. Then... you might... we might..." He pinched his eyes shut.

Rei sat perfectly still, like a cat about to bolt. "That is... not possibl-"

"I _know_. I know there are a thousand reasons why that is impossible. Beyond foolish. I... have _no idea_ what to do. It has never been like this before!"

Rei's look sharpened. "You said that before. And... 'All this has happened before'. Explain."

He took a deep breath. "My body is Lilim, but also not. My mind is... even more mixed. I suspect weak quantum entanglement with other worlds due to proximity to Second Impact."

"_Explain_," Rei pressed.

"I have met Shinji Ikari before. Loved him. I think. I have seen myself die a hundred times, usually by his hand. I think." He looked up and blinked at the obvious rising frustration in her expression. "I have... visions. Déjà vu. I don't know. Just... not the future. _Other_ futures. Not this world. But usually alike enough I can... get a general idea. When I can remember them. They're like... barely more than dream fragments."

"I do not dream." Rei said sharply. "So... how is this not like your visions?"

Kaworu threw his hands up. "It's _completely_ unlike them! I came here 'knowing' what Shinji Ikari was like! And you! And... all of this! But _none_ of it is! He's _happy! _With _her!_ They love each other with every breath! And you are..." He waved his hands at her. "Alive! Beautiful! Vivid! So much unlike the other Rei Ayanami's I've seen! And none of this is... I have no idea what to do! This... this isn't what I expected, not even close! There's...there's so much here I want to see, to... to _live_... I stupidly, clumsily asked you out because I _wanted to_. I... I _think _I've loved Shinji. The other me's, I don't know. But... when I look at them, look at you with them, I realize I don't understand anything about love at all. But... I..." He collapsed again. "I wish I was not me, so I could... find out. With you, with him, them, anyone. Not... not a tool for the end of the world that I see that has people like you and them in it."

Rei stared at him for a long time. She rose. "We will discuss this more later. For now, stand up."

He did, puzzled. His confusion only increased when she stepped closer and he was enveloped in the second hug of his life. He stiffened, then forced himself to relax. She was... warm.

"You are not alone. You are my friend. And theirs. I... cannot say that a part of me does not hate you and scream for your destruction. But... if you were not Tabris, I would not... dismiss it out of hand if you asked me out again," Rei said carefully. "I love them. I will do whatever is necessary to protect them. I... will stop you, if it comes to that. But I will... do my best to make it swift and painless. And I will mourn your memory."

A laugh that was almost a sob escaped him. "I'm being hugged by a beautiful girl, she's _promising_ to kill me, and it's still the best thing I've felt all week."

"You find me beautiful," she said. "This is flattering."

He nodded. "My body... keeps making suggestions. Urges. But... more. I... want to be near you. Near him. Near them. "

"I... believe you when you say... you think of me and my body to distract you from the Call. I... will try not to... react as harshly."

He gave her a very weak smile. "'If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me'?" he quoted.

"Do not push your luck, Rainbow Trout."

"Why do you call me that?"

"Because you are a stupid fish who looks funny in my Sight. And that is a mark of friendship. This is why Asuka used to call me Wondergirl." Rei considered. "Why she used to after she stopped using it as a fear-generated insult, anyhow. You are a friend, so I will refer to you by a nickname."

His smile was a little less shaky. "Do I get to call you-"

"No."

"...why?"

"I am not a stupid fish."

He shivered in her arms. "Thank you. For this. And the music. I feel much better."

"You are welcome. This... helps prevent Tabris from overtaking Kaworu Nagisa. I can accept it as part of that."

He hesitantly raised his arms and gingerly hugged her back. "I... apologize again. I have no right to _expect_ you to... let me touch you, stare at you, demand your care, not even as... a strange sort of way to fight my Adamite side. It is an unfair burden to place on you."

"I am aware. The pressure to do so... can poison any actual friendship we develop. I... do not hold it against you, and will try to ignore it. It can be just as selfish from my side: I could pretend all of this in the name of keeping them safe. I do not think either of us are that dishonest, however."

He shook his head a little. "I... very much do not want to be dishonest with you. I have few enough relationships of any kind to want to jeopardize them like that. I will not require anything of you. But I will thank you." His laugh was a bit more shaky. "I... I wish I was not who I am. I do not like not being able to tell Shinji-kun who I am too. I want him... to see who I really am. I... I hate it when he hates me... in the visions. I wish... I was... not me."

"Then we must find a way to change that."

He laughed a bit louder, but even sadder. "How? Become someone else? Some_thing_ else? Or learn to like being doomed? That sounds easier than changing what I fundamentally am: The soul of Adam in a body that only half belongs on this world."

"I do not know. But we will try. I do not want to have to kill a friend. And you, you stupid, annoying fish, have… become such. You bastard."

His laugh this time was less dark. "You say the strangest things when we are close like this, Ayanami-san."

She let go of him and stepped back. "Get used to it. I have discovered one of the pleasures of having friends is the concurrent ability to 'mess with them'." She sat back down in her chair. "Now… explain why you are so sure Shinji will kill you in those visions. Why him?"

He sat, shrugging. "I am not completely sure. They are fragmentary, but congruent. I reach a point where I cannot suppress the Call any longer, and attempt to… fulfill my purpose. You are there sometimes, too, but it is he that stops me with Unit-01. I am… relieved when he does, and," he closed his eyes, "I ask him to kill me. That he should live, because he and the Lilim deserve to go on. It is… it feels like all I can do."

"But things are not as you expected. They are different. This is cause for hope. You can fight the Call," Rei replied.

"It's… hard."

Rei cocked her head. "Perhaps. Remain here."

She rose and went into her bedroom, emerging a minute later with a small, flat box, no larger than her hand. "Here. Keep this. If there is a night when the Call is strong, open it, and… use it to help fight. Or call me. I am… not unused to midnight calls for help from those in crisis."

He took the box, examining it. "What is it?"

Rei just looked at him coolly. "I do not wish to… spoil it. Do not open it until and unless you must, however. And do not discuss what you find in there. Ever."

He put it in his pocket, confused. "Alright. What now?"

"You return to your lodgings. Tomorrow, afterschool we shall… talk more. Look around the city. Find reasons for you to resist the Call. Discuss your visions. If you have any future knowledge that might help protect them, I wish to know it."

He nodded. "I… will try. I only know what 'I' see in those visions. I have little idea of things not around me."

"Anything. We both with to protect them. We will be friends and _allies_, Nagisa-san."

"…then can you call me Kaworu?"

Rei stared at him. She could hear the naked need and loneliness in his voice, and even more, see the odd flickers in even the chaotic strangeness of his light. "As you… yes."

He brightened. "May I call you by name as well?"

"You may call me Ayanami."

* * *

[ tinypic 2u6h2yo. j p g ]

.

"This _is_ the way to spend an afternoon, isn't it, Hikari?"

"Absolutely, Asuka." The Class Rep threw a look back over her shoulder. Touji gave her a weak smile, struggling along under the load of boxes he was carrying. Hikari grinned back at Asuka. "Any chance to be seen in public with our devoted boyfriends, ne?"

"Why did I volunteer for this?" Touji whined.

"Because you decided you wanted to show off how much tougher you were when Shinji said he was going to carry everything Asuka could get on this shopping trip?" Kensuke reminded him. "It _was_ just going to be those two spending Asuka's birthday gift money and such. You're the one who decided he was going to be the 'big tough guy' and let Hikari go along with her friend."

"I don't mind the companyyyyyyyyYYY! AAAH!" Shinji's cheerful reassurance to Touji dissolved into a panicked cry as his own unsteady load of packages toppled forward into a messy pile after an uneven bit of sidewalk caught his toe.

The girls stopped and looked back. Asuka's eyebrows went up. "What ha- are you alright, Shinji?" She hurried back to check on her boyfriend, who was still rubbing his toe.

"I'm fine, Asuka. I just tripped at little." He eyed the pile of boxes. "At least nothing broke and we hadn't gotten anything breakable."

"Just you, baka." Asuka gave him a quick kiss. "No breaking your foot or tripping into traffic or anything. I can get a new blouse or replace those shoes. I can't replace you."

He smiled at her. "Yes, dear."

Touji made a disgusted face. "The poor Shin-man, under the complete domination of the Red Dem-OW OW OW! Leggo! Leggo!"

Hikari let go of his ear. "Touji, I've told you not to be mean to her like that. She's my friend too, and being with Shinji makes her _and _him happy." She patted his arm reassuringly. "And after that birthday party, you can't even pretend to say they're not totally in love." She shot a 'I read way too much romance manga'-filled look at the Second and Third Child as they picked up the packages and more carefully piled them back in Shinji's arms.

Touji did have the grace to look chastised. "Yeah, I know, Hikari. It's hard to break old habits, y'know? I know Shin-man is totally gaga for her, and she likes him back just as much, as crazy as that still feels." He looked at the empty-armed Kensuke. "Just wait 'til its your turn to do this. Yer gonna have a double-load, mister 'I've got two girlfriends'."

Kensuke looked back at him, smug as a cat in a sunbeam. "I am unburdened! The girls said I should follow along, since they didn't want me to peep on the surprise they were working on for me."

"Still not fair," Touji grumbled. "You should have to carry as many boxes as me and Shinji combined. Two girlfriends..."

Hikari tickled him in the ribs, making him jump and squeal in a manner he'd loudly deny was cute. "You couldn't handle two of me, Touji," she declared. She leaned up on her toes to whisper something in his ear.

Touji promptly turned red and sputtered something incoherent in reply.

Asuka put the last box on top of Shinji's stack and looked at Hikari and Touji. "Hah. Brains and brawn, alright. Touji should know better than to try and say things like that around Hikari. She'll melt his little brain." She looked at the pile of new purchases in Shinji's arms. "Boy, I wish Rei could have come along. She's a lot more fun to shop and try on outfits with nowadays. And she looks _great_ in some of the stuff I pick out for her."

"Like that blue satin and lace set?" Shinji muttered just loud enough for her to hear.

Asuka turned red and sputtered herself. "R-right! Um, let's get going, then!" She whirled back around and started leading the way to the next store again.

"Where _is_ Rei, come to think of it?" Kensuke asked. "I haven't gotten to talk to her in a bit."

"She said she had to run some errands that would take her to a different shopping district than here, so she'd see us at dinner," Shinji said. "She said she wished she could come too. She likes shopping with Asuka a lot."

* * *

Across the city, Rei sneezed.

Kaworu blinked. "Ah... can we even get colds?"

"I have never. In any case, continue explaining your visions. This is... interesting. And may help protect them."

* * *

It gave Asuka a momentary flashback to see such a downbeat and closed expression on Shinji's face as the elevator's doors opened. His look brightened up considerably when he snapped out of his fugue and saw it was her the elevator had stopped to admit. "Asuka," he smiled.

"Third Child," she replied coolly, flicking her eyes at the ceiling. _'We're still in the heart of NERV, Liebling, play it cool!'_she tried to broadcast with her look.

She leaned against the far wall of the elevator to stare at him, the rubbery material of her plugsuit squeaking a bit as she folded her arms across her chest, giving herself a little lift. "I scored a 76.5% Synch Rate today. A good three points up from my last baseline," she bragged, just like she would have done in the past. _'Leaving aside all the oops-nearly-hit-100-or-worse craziness that came from our first contact with our mothers, that's nearly my all-time best while solo. You and I versus Gaghiel still tops that.'_ "How about you, Third?"

"Hmm?" His eyes snapped up to her face, leaving off the thorough look at her figure he'd been enjoying. "Oh, ah… 71.9%" he admitted, a bit of his darker expression returning.

"71.9%? Shinji, that's two points _down_ from your last baseline. That's your first decrease in… nearly six months, yes?" _'Since we kissed, in fact. Since we've been together.'_

He nodded. "It's… hard. To open up that much, after everything that's happened recently."

Asuka concealed her wince. _'He's still wary of talking to his mother. As broken as she is, at least half of Mama is… mostly ok, and both halves want to talk to me. But Shinji's mother… was still part of SEELE.'_ "I see," she said out loud. "Well, you better improve next time, Third. I won't have some wobbly, backsliding second-rate Pilot as my wingman!" She put all the arrogance and imperiousness into the instruction as she could. It was a lot harder than it used to be. Now she was torn between worried for him and wanting to cuddle him to bring out his smile, neither of which she could do while they were in the perpetually-watched corridors of NERV.

He shrugged, and a faint smile did start to work its way back onto his lips. "I'll figure something out. In the meantime, I know what definitely will improve my emotional state and therefore my Synch Rate."

"What?"

"Making out with my girlfriend. I mean, you look happy, so I guess talking to your mother went well?"

Asuka paled and she pushed off the wall, her arms dropping to her side. "Y-you idiot! What are you talking about?! You can't just-"

Shinji just smiled and continued right over her. "I learned something last night, something Misato-san told me. She was very sure about it, since she looked it up after that time she and Kaji got stuck in an elevator for hours during that power blackout." He looked up at the ceiling himself. "There are no cameras or audio pickups in the elevators in this part of the Geofront." He winked at her.

Relief flooded through her. "Damn it, Shinji! You nearly gave me a heart attACKMMPPhh!" Her complaint rose to a startled cry, but ended in a happy moan as Shinji rushed forward to nearly tackle her into the wall of the elevator lips-first.

Wrapped in his arms, pressed against the wall by his surprisingly solid weight, his tongue busily fencing with hers, Asuka very quickly forgave her boyfriend's little shock to her system. The times when Shinji just unleashed his passion and grabbed her like this were far too rare and far between in her opinion, since she _loved_ knowing she could make him lose control like this.

The click-click-click of the level-counter was the only sound in the elevator for a minute. She eventually broke the kiss, but compensated by pressing her back against the wall and bringing her legs up to wrap around his waist, locking her heels together behind his back. "You sneaky little baka… you did that on purpose," she purred into his left ear. She punctuated her accusation by nibbling on his earlobe.

His chuckle made his whole torso vibrate pleasantly against hers. "Well, I knew as soon as Misato-san told me that little fact that we'd put it to good use, and this seemed a fun way to tell you," he said back into her own ear, his warm breath making her shiver. "And this _is _making me feel better." He kissed her again.

"Me too, but we'd better stop before we get _too_ happy about it. This may be a long elevator ride, but we don't have time for getting in and out of plugsuits and all the rest," Asuka bemoaned once that kiss ended. "You and I are _absolutely_ going to do the rest once we get home, damn it. I'm already just a _little_ wound up…"

"We've still got…" Shinji threw a look at the slowly clicking counter. "At least 5 minutes before this slow one gets us to the right level. "Bet you I can manage to help you with that a little before we arrive." He started to nibble on the bits of her neck he could reach above her plugsuit's collar.

She threw her head back to give him better access and closed her eyes in sensual bliss. "Prove it…" she moaned, and ground her hips against him.

"Oh, one more thing... the shafts are pretty thick. No amount of Misato-san's shouting got anyone outside to hear them. So... don't hold back," he said into her neck between nibbles.

"Nnnggg... yesssss..." she hissed.

* * *

Misato glanced at her watch and frowned. Shinji and Asuka had finished their Synch Test more than 20 minutes ago. They had firmly insisted they wanted to watch Hikari's first Synch Test from the just repaired Pribnow Box with her, so where were they?

The door at the back of the Box finally slid open with a hiss and her two missing Pilots trotted in. Misato turned to loom as they ran in, her eyes narrowing. Shinji looked red-faced and apologetic as she glared at them. Asuka was also red-faced, but... not apologetic in the least. She was flushed, but smiling, looking relaxed despite her slightly mussed hair.

Misato's eyes narrowed further. She knew that hairstyle. 'JBF' was a term she'd had thrown at herself a few times in college. Asuka wasn't quite full-blown, but she had a suspiciously smug and pleased look in her eye. Misato did her best to pin them both with a stare, especially Asuka.

Shinji looked a bit guilty and ducked his head slightly. "S-sorry, Misato-san! The elevators are really slow in this block."

"And I had to spend the entire ride cooped up with a Third Child who _still_ can't beat my Synch Rate. Bleh!" Asuka complained.

Misato did not relent on her stare. Asuka's act might still be fooling some of the techs, but she had a pretty good guess at what exactly her two wards had been up to.

Asuka just smiled back at her, barely trying to pretend innocence. 'Kaaaaa-jiiii' she mouthed, and briefly stuck her tongue out.

Misato rolled her eyes and gave up. Trying to shame Asuka about anything she did with Shinji was a losing game much of the time these days, at least when Misato couldn't publicly say anything about them fooling around or even being a couple while they were anywhere the MAGI were able to monitor. She pointed her chin at the monitors, already lighting up. "You should have moved faster. Hikari-chan is already activating Unit-03."

"I'm still amazed they finally decided to let her get back in her Eva," Asuka said, looking out the window at the black and purple Unit. "I was sure they'd leave her benched forever."

"She's still not on the active list just yet, Asuka. The Commander just ordered her to get checked out in case anything happens to the Fifth Child," Ritsuko said over her shoulder. She didn't move from her position right behind Lieutenant Ibuki's chair, her hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "Since the incident at Matsushiro kept us from even getting her baseline Synch Rate established."

Asuka grunted unhappily. "Still stupid. It's Hikari's Eva, she should get to be the Pilot, not some new kid from NERV-Berlin that didn't even show up while I was there."

"Even the Commander has to follow orders from the Committee," Ritsuko said, turning back to the console to type at the controls. "They want the Fifth Child to be the primary Pilot for Unit-03, then that's how it goes. But we can still prepare for the worst. Hence, this test to make sure the Fourth Child is ready if we need to substitute her back in."

"Bet she'll still be better than him," Asuka said, glancing at Shinji for a moment, who nodded.

"We'll find out," Ritsuko replied. "The Fifth Child is testing next after we finish with the Fourth."

"And Rei?" Shinji asked.

Ritsuko hesitated a second. "She's reactivating Unit-00 right after that."

"Absolute borderline passed. Unit-03 has successfully activated," Lieutenant Ibuki reported.

* * *

The colors flashed across her eyes just like the last time. Hikari tried to clamp down on her racing pulse. The last time this had been easy... and then suddenly it had become a nightmare. Now... it was that and more.

_'Am I really about to talk to my mother?'_

She'd gotten a pretty good briefing on what to expect from Asuka, Shinji, and Rei last night after Major Katsuragi's party. How to open her mind to get the best Synch. How to Pilot the huge Unit, and the real briefing, how to deal with the wild rush of feeling and thoughts that would come from being able to truly speak to a mother that she had thought dead for years.

_''I know it will be hard, Hikari, but you'll __**have**__ to hold back. You'll feel this intense rush, just... so comforting to be able to talk to your mama, but... you have to throttle it back,'_ Asuka had told her. _''Shinji and I, they can explain away our Synch Rates' skyrocketing as something to do with our Evas or such, since they 'know' what our Rates should be. But if yours shoots up to nearly 100% like ours did when we talked to our mamas, they'll have to know something's up. So you have to keep it cool. I'm sorry about that. I bet you want to see her as bad as we did ours.''_

_'That wasn't a dream... I really did talk to my mother when I was pulled into the Core,' _Hikari marveled. _'And now... here I go.'_

"Begin when you're ready, Pilot," Doctor Akagi said over the intercom. "Just clear your mind."

"Roger. Beginning now." She closed her eyes and put her head back. Carefully, she reached out with her mind, as Asuka had taught her.

_'Mother?'_

There was a moment of tension, like a psychic held-breath...

Then the force of the joyful greeting nearly caused her to jump in her seat. _'HIKARI!'_

* * *

"Synch Rate spiking... 45.6... 50.1..." Lieutenant Ibuki said, her voice tense.

Ritsuko glared at the readouts. What the Hell? The readings were _like_ the ones they'd gotten from Asuka's last test with her matching Production Type, but still...

"52.4... 52.6... leveling off at 52.9%" Lieutenant Ibuki breathed a sigh of relief. She looked up at her supervisor. "No wild reactions like before, Akagi-sempai."

Ritsuko sighed too. "And if we can just get through this, the Fifth Child, and Unit-00's reactivation without any other madness, this day won't be a complete disaster."

* * *

_'I have to go, Mother. I love you!'_

_'I love you too, my darling girl. Hug your sisters and your father for me, and tell everyone I love them!'_

Hikari bit her lip. _'I will when I can, Mother. Remember, don't talk to Nagisa-san. We're not sure we can trust him to know about you.'_

_'I will. Be saf-'_

Hikari winced as the power died and the link to her mother abruptly snapped. She shook her head. Ikari-kun had been right, not pulling back before the cutoff caused a bad headache. But it was worth it. She couldn't wait to tell Touji.

* * *

"49.9%, a very good result, Nagisa-kun."

"Thank you, Doctor Akagi. I am happy I was so successful in my first Synch Test in a real Evangelion Unit. It feels... quite comfortable in here."

Misato shared a nonplussed look with Shinji. How the heck was the Fifth Child getting such a good rate with Unit-03? From everything they knew, it should have been all but impossible for him to do so, lacking any bond to Mrs. Horaki's spirit. NERV-Berlin's prize Pilot was just an endless mystery.

"How's Rei-chan doing?" Misato asked her old friend.

Ritsuko walked over to the consoles repeating the results in Test Chamber #2. Shinji and Asuka had done their tests today in the Simulation plugs, but with the Fourth and Fifth Children getting their first real Tests, they'd moved Unit-03 into Test Chamber #1, right out the observation windows from them. Unit-00 was next door, though Ritsuko was running the test from here. After the last time, Misato was unsurprised Ritsuko was staying as far away as she could.

"Activation successful... Rei's clocking in at... mm... 58.2%. And no instability or berserking reactions detected. Looks like she's overcome the trouble from last time." The Project E chairwoman's shoulders relaxed.

"Thanks to my presence, of course," Asuka's voice chimed in over the intercom. "Rei and Unit-00 wouldn't dare try anything while I'm here to keep things calm!"

Shinji did his best to smother a snicker. Misato smiled a bit too. She'd wondered why Asuka had left Shinji and her to stay watching Nagisa's test, while she went to watch Rei's directly. "Of course, that must be it, Asuka," Misato said back. "Isn't that right, Rei-chan?"

_'Of course, Major. I would never harm my love.'_ Rei kept her face blank, but quietly enjoyed picturing the looks that would appear on everyone's faces if she said that out loud. Especially the looks on Asuka and Shinji's faces.

"PIlot Soryu's presence in battle has always been of great assistance, Major. I see no reason why it should not be true in a test situation as well," she said.

"See? Rei agrees with me," Asuka said cheerfully. "Now, are we all done? I'd like to get showered and fed."

"We're all done, yes," Doctor Akagi reassured her. "It's been a long day, but at least it's over."

The alarm began to blare before she'd even picked up her lighter.

* * *

"All personnel, go to first stage alert! Prepare for aerial assault!" Lieutenant Aoba's voice thundered over the Geofront's PA.

* * *

.

.

Author's Note, 08OCT16: You know who has come to call. Kaworu's been having a bad week already, and now he gets to face his first battle.

However, writing the battle is proving tricky, so there may be a bit more delay before the next update, probably a couple weeks at most. To ease the pain of waiting, I'm uploading a separate little fic I wrote last night: Costumes &amp; Games. It is not part of A&amp;T, though it does feature a happily paired Second and Third Child. Give it a look. And come over to SufficientVelocity. com to see the true versions of both A&amp;T and C&amp;G, since FFnet's rather old interface keeps me from adding in the artwork and music embeds that I use over there.


	37. Ch 35 - Everything I Do Pt 12

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 9.12

**Everything I Do...**

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* * *

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Misato whirled to Shinji and Asuka, jabbing a finger at the door. "You two, get to your Evas and prepare to scramble as soon as you can!" She spun back to the control consoles as the Second and Third Children turned in perfect unison and bolted out the door in step. "Chief Tanaka!"

The senior Tech one console over from Maya stiffened to attention. "Ma'am!"

"Get Unit-00 and Unit-03 moved to the launchers immediately! Ritsuko, Lieutenant Ibuki! You two with me! We have to get to Central Dogma_ now_!" Misato was already pulling her phone out and dialing even as she shot for the door without looking back to make sure her orders were being followed.

The phone rang for barely a half-second before Lieutenant Hyuga answered. "NERV Cen-"

Misato rolled right over him. "What have we got?"

"Satellites picked up a Pattern Blue 83.4 kilometers up and 34 kilometers south of Tokyo-3. We're retracting the city and powering up the defenses. Where are you?"

"Leaving the Pribnow Box right now! I've got Rits and Ibuki in tow. Get whoever's on the Systems console to override the MAGI and get our elevator to Central Dogma in less than a fucking century. Shinji and Asuka are in one headed for the Cages, get them moving too!"

"Right! Takamori! Get Elevators G-14 and G-15 set to emergency speed as soon as they close!" Makoto's voice was almost as loud as he shouted the orders away from the phone.

"We're en route, ETA 5 minutes. Get Unit-00 and Unit-03 launched and prepared for long range combat as soon as they're in the launchers!"

"Roger!"

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* * *

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Misato skidded into Central Dogma with Maya and Ritsuko close on her heels. Maya nearly dove into her usual seat, Lieutenant Takamori barely getting out of the way in time.

"Angel visually confirmed," Aoba reported. "Max magnification, on screen."

The big screen lit up, showing the Angel. It looked like the electrified skeleton of a bird, glued together by someone who had no idea how the bones were supposed to fit. It had two wings that split into four, but had irregular spikes and shards poking off its whole outline. Even with all the strangeness they'd seen so far, the spiky monster looked subtly _wrong_ to Misato.

"It's not moving from its satellite orbit," said Hyuga.

"It's maintaining a set distance from our location," Aoba confirmed.

Ritsuko held on to the back of Maya's chair and tried to catch her breath. She was not nearly in as good shape as Misato, who for all her slobby ways off duty, still somehow maintained her military fitness. "That's... that's fricking impossible. It can't maintain position like that in an orbit so low. It has to be using its AT-Field to hover there," she said between pants.

Misato stared hard at the glowing, birdlike form on the main display. "Which means it's waiting for a chance to descend and close in, or it can attack us from there without the need to do so."

"We can't make a careless move, at this rate, can we?" Hyuga asked.

Misato didn't even look at him. "Either way, we can't do anything about it unless the target moves within our firing range. The Evas aren't capable of attacking something in orbit."

The Fourth Child ran in from the back access stairway. "Major Katsuragi! I'm here! I..." She stopped next to Misato, breathing hard. "W-what can I do?" She looked up at Misato, nervous.

"Nothing right now, I'm afraid. Stay here and stand by for now." Misato turned to the main screen. "Alright, launch Unit-00 and Unit-03, prepare for extreme long-range firing. Unit-01 and Unit-02 will remain on ready-launch hold."

"Misato! Launch us!" Asuka demanded over the comms.

Misato shook her head. "Negative, Asuka. We've only got the two Positron Cannons. There's nothing you can do for now. Standby."

In the comm window on the side of the big screen, Asuka slammed a hand on the control yoke. "We can still... cover Rei and the new kid with our AT-Fields or something! Grrrrr!" She turned her head slightly, aiming her glare at another window in her Entry Plug. "Oi! Du Setzling, kümmer dich gefälligst um sie! Eva-Piloten sind füreinander da!" [New fish! Take care of her! Eva Pilots look out for each other!]"

Kaworu gave her a slight smile. "Jawohl."

"Units-00 and -03 ready, Major Katsuragi!" Lieutenant Hyuga announced.

Misato nodded. "Evas, launch!"

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* * *

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Rei hoisted the Improved Positron Rifle Mk III to her Eva's shoulder and began configuring the long range firing controls. She did not look aside as Nagisa's face appeared in a new comm window. "It is... good to be with you in my first battle like this, Pilot Ayanami."

His smile was a bit less irritating than it had been. Rei focused on the controls. "We will do our duty. We fight to protect all mankind. This is our bond." _'Get that message, stupid fish. We cannot show anything to Commander Ikari.'_

A strange, unreadable look passed over his eyes. "Our bond. Of course. I'm sure we will perform our duty well." His window closed. Evidently he had gotten the message in her blank face and tone.

Rei pressed the last button and the targeting array rose from the back of the seat over her head and settled in front of her eyes. The sky was a dark grey wall of rainclouds pouring down on them like the sky was sobbing its heart out, impenetrable to the naked eye. But MAGI-assisted NERV sights made the storm no barrier at all.

She quickly sighted in on the mark the display showed. It was close enough to staring right at the position of the sun Rei couldn't make anything out. She trusted the computer was keeping her on target. She squinted, trying to center the faint spot that was the Angel...

_'Hurry up and get over here already. Talk about irritating...'_

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* * *

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"Target still holding position," Aoba reported. "MAGI estimates it's at extreme range now. They have designated this as the 15th Angel, Arael."

"The Angel of Birds, hm? Fits." Misato stared at the image of the vaguely bird-like Angel on the big screen. "If it's just going to sit there, let's test that. Rei, Kaworu, are you ready to fire?"

"Yes."

"Charge complete in 38 seconds, Major."

"That's fine, Kaworu, yours is slower to charge but a bit more powerful per shot. Alright. Rei, take a shot as soon as you have lock."

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* * *

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Rei nodded. "Understood. Aiming."

She stared hard at the blip on her targeting screen. She tried to will the triangle and crosshairs to line up. Almost... almost... there.

The computer sang a clear tone, and she pulled the trigger. An azure bolt of charged antimatter shot from her weapon and blasted up through the clouds, a brief gap opening up around it.

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* * *

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Everyone held their breath as Rei's shot arced up, up, up... dead on target.

The shot shattered into a blaze of blue sparks and light against a familiar impenetrable orange octagon.

"No good! Negligible change to the Angel's AT-Field, ma'am!" Lieutenant Aoba reported. "Shot had no effect. The range is too far!"

"Damn it," Misato cursed. "Kaworu, prepare to fire in synch with Rei's next shot. Maybe together you'll have enough power."

"Roger. Eleven seconds to charge."

"Ready for command," Rei added.

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* * *

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Rei gritted her teeth a little more. That shot had been perfect, but the Angel was too far away to even try degrading its defenses. She was...

Her AT-field prickled. "It... it is looking at me."

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* * *

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Misato looked at Rei's comm window, puzzled. "What was that, Rei?"

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* * *

.

The Angel sparkled in her reticule...

And the light of Heaven fell down on Rei Ayanami.

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* * *

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The Angel's beam shone down on Unit-00 like God's own spotlight. The storm-dark street around her lit up like a summer festival had broken out.

Rei _screamed_.

Every alarm in Central Dogma began to light up.

Misato forced herself back into focus. "Is it a direct energy weapon?"

Lieutenant Aoba shook his head, his hands flying over his control board. "Negative, I'm not getting any thermal energy readings!"

Maya looked in alarm at her readouts. "Her psychograph readings are agitated! Mental contamination beginning!"

Ritsuko blanched. "The Angel is launching a psychological attack? It's trying to comprehend the mind of a human being?"

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* * *

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"NGGGKK! AAAAAAAAAAAA!" Rei's hands flew to her head, trying to stop the painthepainthepainthePAIN!

Responding to her desperate impulse, Unit-00 raised the Improved Positron Cannon Mk III again and fired, fired, fired before Unit-00's hands began to wobble. The last shot impacted on the hill above the lake south of her, taking a chunk out of the peak. Unit-00 likewise tried to grab it's head, the giant rifle falling to the street with a smash.

"STAY... OUT... STAYYYYY OUUUUUUT!" Rei snarled through teeth locked together so hard her jaw creaked.

FLASH

"NNNO...NNGGNSGSKSEGDH!" Blood began to trickle from her nose.

FLASH

"STAY...**OUT**!"

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* * *

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"Analysis of the ray of light?" Misato demanded, her knuckles white on the back of Lieutenant Hyuga's chair.

Hyuga was hammering at his keyboard. "It's an energy wave within the visible spectrum. It's similar to an AT-Field, but the details are unknown! The MAGI are unable to analyze it!" UNKNOWN FIELD, RECALCULATING. POSSIBLE SIMILARITY WITH AT-FIELD flashed on his screen.

Ritsuko was looking at the displays on Maya's console in horror. "What about Rei?"

Maya looked grim. "She's in danger! The mental contamination has entered Y! Her psychograph is at the critical point!"

Ritsuko's eyes snapped back and forth as she analyzed Rei's readouts herself. "Her mental circuits are being ripped to pieces! Further overload will be too dangerous!"

"Rei, retreat!" Misato ordered.

On the screen, Unit-00 was hunching in on itself, holding its head like it was about to fly away.

"Rei! REI! Can you hear me?" Misato yelled.

"STAY OUT!" was all they got in reply.

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* * *

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"GGRRKK! GN...AAAAAAAA!" Her eyes were no longer tracking together, and the pupils were different sizes. The blood dripping from her nose was a steady flow now.

FLASH

"STAY...NNNNOOO!"

_**FLASH**_

And it was in her. It was _inside_ her. She could feel it wriggling through her mind, like a fat, bloated worm of alien presence. It did not belong. It _did not belong_.

She could feel it rifling through her mind, her memories, her _self_.

.

* * *

.

_Waking up in a tube. He was there. She was there. They stared at her. He ordered her to stand. "You are Rei Ayanami. You will follow my orders," he said, voice cold and flat._

_"I am Rei Ayanami. I will follow your orders," she echoed without thought._

_He nodded._

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* * *

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_"Stupid doll!" Ritsuko threw the notepad at her. It bounced off Rei's head. "Staring at me like that! Stop it! Face the wall!"_

_Rei obediently turned. Her head... hurt? No, the feeling was barely there. She was comfortably wall was familiar._

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* * *

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"GET...OUT OF... MGRPH... ME!"

PAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAIN

"OUT! NO!"

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* * *

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_Her arm was broken again. In at least three places, from the way it folded. The pain bled through the drugs a bit._

_"Disappointing. Alright, reset the simulator," Commander Ikari said, no change in his voice. "Rei, Doctor Akagi will splint your arm while they reset it, and you will try again. Do better."_

_"Yes, sir," she said tonelessly. She was not upset. She felt nothing at all._

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* * *

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_"You... you're an ANGEL?!" Asuka recoiled in shock. She backed up until she bumped into Shinji, who stared at Rei with a look of utter horror and betrayal on his face._

_"N-no! It's not like that! Don't leave me!" Rei pleaded, hands outstretched._

_"Stay away from her!" Shinji yelled angrily, placing himself between Rei and Asuka. "Don't come near us, you... you __**traitor**! We trusted you! We loved you! And all along you lied to us?!"_

_"Don't you ever touch me again!" Asuka screeched at her. "You disgust me!"_

_"No! Please!" Rei tried not to shake. She failed. "I love you both!"_

_"We don't love Angels! We kill them!"_

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* * *

.

"Come on, come _on_!" Kaworu chanted over and over. Rei's screams were like knives in his ears. The Angel was killing her, and his weapon was too slow! "Come _**on**_! Charge!"

"Accelerator, start synchronization," the lead weapon tech ordered in his ear.

"Voltage increasing. Approaching the pressure range," his second responded. "Aim correction for gravity and planetary rotation is zero point zero three."

"Superconductive guidance system is active. Pressure in the chamber is at maximum. Releasing final safety lock. You may fire when ready, Pilo-"

Kaworu didn't even wait for him to finish. The splash from the muzzle blew cars into the air in the street around him, and even the multi-thousand ton weight of Unit-03 rocked back from the building he'd rested the upgraded Positron Cannon on. The power feed was now just the Geofront's massive nuclear reactors and not the entire power grid of Japan, but he still had more power on hand than Rei's weapon.

The beam from his gun shot skyward, spearing straight for the Angel. His aim was perfect, dead center.

And useless. The beam shattered into a spray of lesser pieces off the Angel's AT-Field again, continuing on past it in a scattered fan.

"No effect!" Aoba shouted. "AT-Field already regenerating damage! There's not enough energy to break through the AT Field from this distance!"

"Output power is already at maximum!" Hyuga said. "We can't draw anymore or the lines will melt!"

"Unit-00's psychograph is very weak," Ibuki added. "Her mental signal is decreasing sharply."

"What about the mind barrier from the LCL?" Ritsuko suggested.

The younger woman shook her head. "No effect. It's not even working as a catalyst."

"Give top priority to life support," Ritsuko ordered. "Shut out any feedback from the Eva."

"Yes, ma'am."

Ritsuko looked up at the still weakly thrashing movements of the Eva on the big screen. _'It's scanning her mental wavelength... is it trying to search her mind?'_

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* * *

.

Something in Rei's mind broke open under the assault. Driven back, driven down, she retreated deeper into her self than she'd ever dare before. She fled ahead of the invader, deeper, deeper, past the edges of Rei Ayanami and down into her greater self.

Memories buried for billions of years exploded into awareness...

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* * *

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_How had it come to this?_

_Combining their ultimate power source with their own biology had been her race's crowning achievement. This "Fruit of Life" - the crimson crystal of immortality - promised to free them from the ravages of time and disease, from the scramble to outrun entropy, even from conflict itself. By alleviating the need to compete for resources, it was supposed to free them from the last motivations for strife, and usher in an endless golden age._

_"Such fools we were..."_

_The rational need may have been alleviated, but their psychology - evolved in a world of scarcity - had not changed. Too many were still driven by the will to achieve power over others, and the limitless energy of the Fruit had only granted them even more terrible strength with which to pursue dominance. The next generation had been even worse: having been all but immortal from birth, never knowing vulnerability, far too many of them never developed notions of empathy or restraint, or found them far too late._

_The ensuing conflicts spiraled cataclysmically out of control, cracking even the foundations of the planet itself. It ended not with victory for any party, but with only the peace of exhaustion. There was literally nothing left worth fighting for._

_And thus was the first race in the galaxy to achieve sapience left as a bare handful of survivors on a collapsing world, surrounded by the lingering souls of some twenty billion dead._

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* * *

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_It was his optimism, in retrospect, that first drew her to him, his hope._

_Even in the twilight of their race, at what seemed to be the end of all things, he held his head high and spoke of his hope for the future. He was the one who had conceived of their final plan. Among the survivors, those who volunteered would be transformed, taking on bodies suitable for solitary journeys that could last untold eons. They would gather the souls of their lost race to themselves, and set out for fresh new worlds. They would seed these barren worlds with life, and the salvaged souls of the Firstborn would jump-start the evolution of sapience on these new worlds. The essence of who they were would not be lost from the universe. What they represented would live on._

_His smile as he described the project was radiant; it made his hope contagious._

_She had fallen in love with that smile._

_But she was desperately afraid to tell him. And was there even a point anymore, if she could?_

.

* * *

.

_She could not bear to see his smile waver._

_It seemed as though the Fruit of Life had one last conflict left to bestow upon her people. The argument threatened to tear the group apart._

_"Abandon the Fruit? Have you gone mad?"_

_"Look around you! You see what it did to us! Would you truly visit such ruin upon our descendants?"_

_"Even so, after all that we devoted to its creation, you would see the Fruit vanish from this universe, lost forever in the sea of time? The dream of immortality, the hope of freedom from the ravages of entropy... can you really throw them away so casually?"_

_"What's the point, if it only repeats a cycle of destruction?"_

_He watched the argument rage again. It was not the first time the matter had come up for discussion in their circle, but it had never before been so heated._

_She watched his smile grow dimmer, and dimmer, as it slowly drowned in his growing look of concern. They needed everyone who was left, if this was to work. They had very little time remaining; they could not afford an impasse._

_The project - his hope - was dying at the debate table._

_Suddenly, she had an answer. Hesitantly, she spoke up._

_"T-Two kinds!"_

_"What?"_

_It was the first time she had spoken up at these meetings. It was, in fact, the first time many of them had heard her speak._

_"We can s-send out t-two types of Seeds. One will create life based on what we- what we were before. Before the Fruit."_

_They were listening. She continued, with more confidence._

_"We will take steps to ensure they land on planets that lack significant levels of the necessary elements for miniaturizing the S2 for incorporation into living tissue. Even if our descendants develop the theory, they will need to cross the stars to acquire the materials they need to take the same final step we did. With luck, that will give them time to become wiser than we were."_

_"The other type of Seed will create a very different sort of life - one based on the Fruit and its potential from the start, but with a lower form of consciousness. Without the same sort of drives as characterize the consciousness that evolves in mortals, it should be safer for them to possess the Fruit - they will be more innocent, in a way, without the need or drive to overachieve that was our doom. These beings will guard the Fruit from the ravages of time, preserving it for the future. Neither part of what we are will be lost. Perhaps someday, some of our descendants will be wise enough to bring them together again safely."_

_There was some grumbling, but she was surprised at how quickly everyone agreed, and got to work on the details._

_"Of course, we will need some sort of system to guard against premature recombination of the Seeds. And it will need to have autonomous functionality..."_

_She no longer heard the debate; something else had entirely distracted her._

_He was smiling again._

_He was smiling at **her**._

_She smiled back._

_But she still could not take the next step._

.

* * *

.

_The end was upon them. The planet itself was beginning its collapse. Their star was not far behind._

_Her transformation had been successful. She barely recognized herself as... herself. She had become a towering, robust being, with tremendous power beyond even what the Fruit normally granted - something that could survive the gulf between worlds for as long as necessary. Her mind, too, had changed; she felt more abstract, diffuse. Removed from the world, as if it was a lazy, waking dream. It was necessary for the journey - any ordinary mind would have gone mad._

_She had chosen this. Even if she could not be with him, she could aid his dream. She would bear the "Fruit of Knowledge," as some were now calling it, to a new world._

_He, himself, had volunteered as well - to bear the Fruit of Life._

_They simply weren't meant to be, she told herself._

_Two more of their group, who had not yet given up their physical forms to join the rest of the souls for the journey, made the final checks. She idly listened to their banter as she waited for the inevitable._

_"I thought for sure those two would get together."_

_Who?_

_"You saw how she looked at him!"_

_"He looked right back, when her back was turned."_

_Did they mean...?_

_"And you saw that smile he gave her when she basically saved the project with that suggestion. I was sure that would finally break the ice."_

_No..._

_"No kidding. I suppose, in the end, he was just as shy as she was, at least when it came to that sort of thing. Funny, considering how he gushed about the Project."_

_He felt...? They could have had... even for a short while...or found some way to...?_

_And it was too late?_

_No..._

_No, no, no..._

_Further banter - and further thoughts on the matter - were cut short by a deafening roar that heralded the final collapse of their world. The two technicians abruptly let go, releasing their forms into fluid, and joined the other souls in one of the Rooms of Guf._

_As the planet broke apart, each Seed extended their power, crafting a vessel for the ages from their world's remains, and set out for a different point of light. The final explosion of their star propelled them on their journey._

.

* * *

.

_She was awakened from her sad reflection by the sense of an approaching planet. It seemed her navigation and senses had brought her to the world she was to seed._

_Something was wrong._

_As a Seed bearing the Fruit of Knowledge, she was supposed to land on a planet lacking in key elements of the Fruit of Life. This was not such a world._

_And another Seed - riding a White Moon, bearing the Fruit of Life - was already making planet fall._

_His White Moon._

_No..._

_She realized, with horror, what had happened. Her memories and regrets - the only things she could think of during the journey - had actually affected her navigation. Instead of seeking out a new world, she had followed him._

_They had explicitly planned to avoid this. Two Seeds could not actively occupy the same world - one of their Lances would automatically neutralize its bearer. Even this grave error she had blundered into would not bring them together._

_She tried to abort the landing, so that she could move on to another world, but it was too late. Instead, now she was going to crash._

_What had she done to him? To his dream..._

_I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..._

.

* * *

.

Rei... Lilith... she was no longer sure who she was, who any of her was...

In the Entry Plug, she flopped limply against the back of the seat and stared, her eyes seeing nothing.

.

* * *

.

"Again!"

"Pilot Nagisa, this is not a good idea. Major Katsuragi has not authori-"

"_I SAID CHARGE IT AGAIN_!"

.

* * *

.

"Unit-03 firing again!" Hyuga reported.

Misato tore her look away from over Ritsuko's shoulder. "What?"

.

* * *

.

His aim was even better. He forced his hands to steady, unfurled his AT-Field just the smallest bit to make his Eva's hands perfectly still... The Cannon roared again, shattering every window for 300 meters. The glowing beam shot into the clouds. The Angel made no move to dodge.

He could hear the discordant sound the Angel's AT-Field made as the beam of positrons rang against it... uselessly.

Useless. He could not be useless. He had to do something, had to help her. He threw the weapon aside, pushing his Evangelion to maximum speed. "This is Pilot Nagisa. Positron Cannon ineffective. I am moving to assist Unit-00."

.

* * *

.

"REI! _REI_! Answer me! Gott _damn_ it! Rei!" Asuka called fruitlessly over her comms. "Misato! Launch us! Launch us _now!_"

"Let us help her!" Shinji added. "Please!"

.

* * *

.

"All activity ceased in Unit-00," Aoba said. Red warning flashes began to pepper the side screens of Central Dogma. "Problems developing in the life support system."

Misato tried to shut it all out. Time after time she'd come up with borderline insane plans that save the day. Now she needed another one._ 'Can we transport Unit 00 by air? Shoot the target from the sky? No, we can't do that. If the Angel shoots during the approach, we can't protect it.'_

"Let us launch! We can protect her!" Shinji demanded. "_Please_, Misato-san!"

Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki leaned forward. "No. The Angel's attack corrodes the target's psyche."

"Right now we must avoid the corrosion of Unit-01," Gendo said evenly.

"Then it's alright as long as we don't get hit!" Asuka tried.

"Your success is not guaranteed," Gendo said.

"But... but Rei is in danger! If this goes on-" Shinji insisted.

"I don't care. Unit-02, proceed to Terminal Dogma and retrieve a special weapon for use against the Angel."

Beside him, Fuyutsuki stiffened. "The Lance?" he whispered urgently to Gendo. "Ikari, you can't. That is SEELE's..."

Gendo's face was hard and fixed as he stared at the glowing form of the Angel on the big screen, but Fuyutsuki could almost feel the grim satisfaction coming off him. "We cannot affect the target's AT-Field in orbit, and this is the only way to bring it down. Unit-02, move!"

Misato spun around to look at the Commander's platform. "But contact between an Eva and Adam could cause Third Impact! It's too dangerous! Commander Ikari, please do not order this!" she objected.

Gendo just stared at the screen, ignoring her.

Misato's jaw clenched. _'So... another lie. Second Impact wasn't caused by contact with an Angel, was it?'_ She turned back to the screen. In the smaller display to the left, she could see Asuka's launch cradle shifting downward, moving the Evangelion towards Terminal Dogma as quickly as possible.

"Can't this thing go any faster?" Asuka shouted. "Rei's stopped screaming, _and that isn't making me feel better!_"

Fuyutsuki leaned in close to Gendo again. "Ikari, is this wise? Letting the Second Child see Lilith?"

Gendo gave a microscopic shrug. "In the end, she is expendable, should we need to silence her," he said quietly. "In the meantime, I have a possible solution."

Misato stepped next to Ritsuko. "And what happens when Asuka sees what you've been keeping in the basement, Rits?" she said very quietly, her voice ice cold.

Ristuko shot her a confused look that rapidly melted into wide-eyed horror. "Y-you kn-"

"Yes," Misato hissed dangerously. "I _know_. I also know that I'm not supposed to know! But what happens when _Asuka_ sees it? That's a secret I'm sure you and the Commander are very interested in keeping, so I'm suddenly very, _very_ interested in why he doesn't seem to care that the Second Child is about to learn something that was too classified for the fourth ranking officer in NERV to know about!" Misato's voice dropped to just above the temperature of liquid helium. "I am _not_ letting something happen to one of my kids."

"How... how did you-" Ritsuko whispered back.

Commander Ikari's voice interrupted. "Doctor Akagi, you have until Unit-02 reaches Terminal Dogma to create a software filter for its visual display to block her from seeing classified material she is not cleared for. She is only there to retrieve the Lance. Nothing else."

Ritsuko's eyes widened a bit more and she dove for the console next to Lieutenant Ibuki's. She logged in with incredible speed and began coding.

.

* * *

.

_"So... this is the moment... I knew this would come. We both did... didn't we, my friend?"_

_The grey haired boy smiled up at her from where Unit-00's hands had closed around his frail body. "I have to stop you," Rei said. "You know this."_

_"Of course I do. And I'm glad it was you. You spared him the pain of having to do it himself."_

_Rei's hands shook, and thus so did the Eva's. "It can't end like this. It can't!"_

_"You know it has to. Do it."_

_"I won't!"_

_His smile got sadder. "Then let me go. And I will fulfill my purpose and wipe this world clean."_

_"No!"_

_"Do it. You know it has to be this way."_

_"Damn you! Damn you!" Rei screamed at him through the tears. "You said you'd fight!"_

_"I did. I tried. I failed. I was not strong enough. The Call cannot be defeated. And so I am here, as I knew I would be." He paused. "I'm glad it was you."_

_"No no no no no no!" Rei pleaded._

_"Do it. You have to."_

_"NO!"_

_"Goodbye... Rei."_

_It took hours to get the blood off Unit-00's hands._

.

* * *

.

The Eva transport system had taken her as low as it could, but the deepest shafts into Terminal Dogma were deeper still. The titanic cable and foothold for the Evangelion could have been used to anchor a full-sized suspension bridge, and was dropping her down with terrific speed. At any other time Asuka might have been impressed with the engineering feat. Right now, she just wanted it to move _faster_.

"Come on come on _come on!_ This is taking too long!"

"Asuka, we're already 10% past the safety limits on the cable gear!" Hyuga told her.

"You were willing to dip me a few hundred extra meters in that fucking volcano past the 'safety limits'! Get me down there _now_ so I can get this mystery weapon and _save my friend_!" Asuka snarled back.

"We can't let it break, we need it to haul you back up!"

"Fuck! _This!_" Asuka kicked Unit-02's foot loose from the footstrap and jumped free. "Unit-02, _coming down_!"

She free-fell the last 500 meters, slamming into the floor at the bottom of the shaft at speeds that should have shattered all bones and armor in Unit-02's legs. Instead, she bounced right up off her landing crouch and began sprinting down the hallway in front of her, aiming for the immense doors at the far end.

"_I'm coming, Rei! Hang on!_"

(Gurren Lagann - Libera Me From Hell)

.

* * *

.

_'So Third Impact won't happen... at least, not because of this. So then what caused Second Impact?'_ Misato puzzled.

"Unit-03 is about to reach Unit-00!" Hyuga interrupted her thoughts.

.

* * *

.

Unit-03 tore around the last corner between his starting position and Unit-00's. He could see down the wide road to where Unit-00 lay slumped against a weapons building, not moving. "Rei!"

The Angel's beam still poured down on the Evangelion from the skies, lighting up the whole road better than full noon sunlight. In Kaworu's eyes, it burned even brighter, but... so _wrong_.

The beam was... _tearing_ at Ayanami's Light, ripping at it like it was trying to shred open a blanket covering something it wanted. The greater Light put out by an active Evangelion was covering it from direct harm, but was all but flickered out. Her very self was about to be exposed to the Angel's onslaught.

_'No!'_

He bolted forward, raising Unit-03's AT-Field to maximum strength, trying to place it in the path of the beam. "Ayanami! Are you there?"

He slid up next to Unit-00, his AT-Field finally directly covering her. "Rei! Rei! Answer me! I'm here!"

"Nngggh? Kwnger? Blugh..." Rei said indistinctly over the comms. In the window one of her eyes opened, the pupil dilated until it almost swallowed the iris. It drifted around until it locked in his general direction. Rei began to thrash, like she was trying to get away from him, but her limbs wouldn't coordinate. "Nnnno... sshhhtay 'way! I'll kill wou! Kill you! _Kill youuuu_!"

"Rei, it's alright! I'm here to-"

The Angel's light snapped off.

Kaworu's head rose and he looked at the sky. "Wha..."

.

* * *

.

"Major, something's happening with the Angel!" Hyuga pointed at the screen. "It's... changing?"

.

* * *

.

In space, the Angel's four wings folded, branched, and split again. The now eight-fold array shifted slightly, adjusting its aim. Then, once again, it sang.

.

* * *

.

Kaworu had almost no warning. His AT-Field prickled a fraction of a second before the Light of the Angel smashed into his mind.

.

* * *

.

_The tube was his home. The tube was his prison. The tube was mother, and father, and his world._

_He knew nothing else._

_The old man with the visor was back. He came to stare sometimes. His arrival always heralded by the whine of the electronics in his body and wheelchair, and the wheeze of his breath._

_"You are Tabris. You are the key to our salvation. You will bring us all to the glory of the end," the old man told him._

_Kaworu was open, but confused. "How?"_

_"Through death."_

.

* * *

.

_"Unit-03! Pilot Nagisa! Can you hear me?" Misato threw a desperate look over Ritsuko's shoulder. Unit-03's psychographs had begun to wobble badly, just as Rei's had. "Nagisa, respond!"_

_"AAAAAAAAAAAH! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!"_

.

* * *

.

_He was alone. This was normal. He had only ever seen four people in his life, and only two had had actual conversations with him. At least Kihl's assistant had introduced him to music, as a way to occupy his time. The piano was easy. The violin was a little harder, but he enjoyed it more._

_The notes echoed so well in the empty concrete room they placed him in._

_He had the Call to comfort him. It was burning, constant... but also soothing. The promise of an end to pain, an end to loneliness... a promise of completion. He felt it in his bones, that following the Call, seeking his source would end with pure bliss._

_That it would wipe the planet clean of the Lilim was slightly sad. They made such lovely music._

_And... there were the visions. He had not spoken of them, since no one had asked. He had been given the files for Shinji Ikari and the other Children when he managed to ask who he would encounter when he was sent on his mission. He glanced at the others, but it was the Third Child that he wanted to learn about._

_So pure... so alone. Kaworu fell in love, as much as he could grasp the concept. A Lilim like him. Alone, doomed, searching for meaning... Someone who would be his friend, even briefly, the visions told him._

_And who would be the instrument of his death._

_He so looked forward to meeting him._

.

* * *

.

"Can we deploy any of the shield plates to cover either of them?" Misato demanded.

"Negative, they're out of position for any!" Aoba replied.

Misato ground her teeth in frustration. "Get some of the VTOLs in the air! I don't care about the storm, we need to see if we can get _anything_ in the path of that beam!" She looked at the big screen again. "Nagisa! Hang on!"

.

* * *

.

"Come on come on come on... YES!" Ritsuko shouted in triumph as the MAGI reported no further errors in the code she'd slammed together in record time. She stabbed a finger at the comm button, throwing open a channel to Unit-02. "Pilot Soryu, prepare for a code update! Sending now!"

.

* * *

.

"'Code update'? Was zur Hölle quasselst du da, du verrückte Hexe? [What the Hell are you babbling about, you crazy witch?]" Asuka's complaint was overridden by a beep from Unit-02 and a new comm window full of fast-scrolling code popping up. "What is this? It better be helping me out or I'm going to be pissed you're interrupting to update the video drivers or something!"

Doctor Akagi ignored the German rant. "That's exactly what I'm doing, Pilot Soryu. There's classified things in the next chamber, and this is a false-visual filter that will block out what you're not supposed to see. Just grab the weapon and leave."

"Can I at least see the verfickt _weapon _I'm supposed to grab, or am I supposed to wander around playing Blind Man's Bluff while my _friend_ needs help?!" Asuka snarled.

"The weapon will be highlighted. Opening Heaven's Door now."

"'Heaven's Door'? Was zur Hölle...Ack!" As the immense doors that dwarfed even her Evangelion began to swing open, Asuka's vision of the world abruptly became grey and flat. Her crystal clear view of the outside suddenly became bland, basic geometric shapes with wire frames, like bad computer graphics from the early '90s. "How am I supposed to navigate like this?!"

"Just... move forward, Pilot. The weapon is just 400m ahead in a straight line."

"This looks like a video game written by a drunk!"

"I only had 5 minutes! Now quit complaining and move!"

Subsiding to discontented muttering, Asuka refocused and moved forward as fast as she could, shitty graphics be damned. It almost helped: The blocky grey mess made the flashing border around the weapon easy to pick out.

"A... A spear? What?" Asuka shook her head. No time. Whatever, if this was it, she'd use it. Whatever it took to save Rei. She grabbed the shaft of the Eva-scale red spear and turned to leave.

...and then had to turn back. The spear had barely moved when she pulled. "Gott _damn_ it! Come on!" She set herself more firmly and pulled harder. The spear slowly came free from whatever thing it was stuck in... but not fast enough. Asuka braced her foot up on the huge rectangular object the visual filter rendered it as and _pushed_.

The spear came loose with a bizarre sucking noise and Unit-02 fell on its ass... but the spear was free. Asuka sprang to her feet and started sprinting for the door. She didn't even hear the huge splash behind her.

.

* * *

.

"Nnng! Get... off... me..."

Misato's head rose. "Rei?! Are you there?"

"Get... off... chest... hurts..."

Rei's eyes weren't tracking in the window, but it was the most activity she'd shown since she collapsed.

"Hang in there, Rei! Asuka's on her way!" Misato tried to get her attention. It was hard, the comm channel was largely filled with Kaworu's screaming. "Nagisa, you too! She'll be there soon!"

"Misato-san! _Launch me! PLEASE!_" Shinji begged from Unit-01.

"Denied," Gendo flatly responded.

Misato clenched her left hand into a fist. "Commander, with all due respect, we can't just-"

"Unit-01 will remain where it is. Launching it would achieve nothing but another Unit disabled."

"_Father!_"

"Shut his comms off," Gendo ordered.

Lieutenant Hyuga jerked. "But sir-"

"Do it. I do not have time to listen to his insubordination."

Lieutenant Hyuga looked wordlessly at Misato. Misato had to suppress the urge to snarl at Commander Ikari. "Mute his mic," she muttered to him quietly. "I'm not cutting him off like that while Rei's in danger."

Hyuga nodded reluctantly, and hit the comm controls. Shinji's voice cut off.

.

* * *

.

Shinji stared at the 'MUTE ON' banner on his comm window. His expression shifted to rage. "Fine! If that's how you want it!"

He turned inward. _'Mother! Help me!'_

Unit-01's hand curled into a fist.

.

* * *

.

The screams covered the quiet conversation taking place on the Commander's platform. "Ikari, are we not getting ahead of ourselves? I think it's too early to use that."

Gendo's stare did not shift from the screen. "The committee has started the mass production of the Eva series. This is our chance, Fuyutsuki."

"Nonetheless..."

"We can't make the clock move backwards. But, we can make it move forward with our own hands," Gendo continued.

"The old men won't sit still for this," the older man cautioned.

Gendo gave a miniscule shrug. "We must put an end to everything before SEELE takes action. It's not a good idea to lose Unit-00 right now, or the Pilot."

"Or Unit-03?"

Another tiny shrug. "SEELE's pawn matters little either."

"If we use the Lance of Longinus without the permission of SEELE, they will retaliate..."

"If a reason exists, that is enough. Anything beyond that is insignificant."

Fuyutsuki snorted. "Reason? What you're looking for is an excuse, isn't it?"

"Brainwaves for Unit-03's Pilot have become unstable! Pilot of Unit-00 has dropped to zero point zero six!" Lieutenant Ibuki warned.

"That's the critical point for life support," Ritsuko said, fighting for calm.

.

* * *

.

"Gnablbl! Grrrkkkg...AAAAAAAH!" Kaworu tried to focus, tried to bolster his AT-Field shielding them both. Blood dripped from his eyes.

Rei's stirring barely registered. The memories and fears still had him.

.

* * *

.

_There were 15 of them, more people than he'd ever seen before. The members of SEELE had come to see him off. They smiled, and told him what a grand destiny awaited him as he was sent on his mission. He knew from the visions he would most likely fail. Complementation or death, either way, at least soon his pain would be over._

_They wouldn't let him take his violin. He felt sad about that. It wasn't like he had anything else._

_He smiled anyway. This was more people than he'd ever seen before, and they were all so pleased to send him to his eagerly awaited death._

_It was nice._

.

* * *

.

"Unit-02 is ascending! She'll be at the launcher in 90 seconds!" Aoba reported.

"Nagisa! Can you retreat?" Misato tried again.

Only screams and incoherent noises answered her.

.

* * *

.

_"Do it, Rei. Please!"_

_"I should have let Shinji do this, you traitor. Or Asuka. She'd love to hurt you for what you did to him," the First Child said in a voice utterly empty of warmth._

_"I'm sorry! I had no choice!"_

_"Then you lied to me from the start. You said you did."_

_"I tried! I'm not strong enough! The Call-"_

_"Pathetic. I resisted mine. You failure. What did I ever see in you?"_

_"Just... do it. Finish me. End this."_

_"Do it yourself, you worthless scum. You killed him. This world can burn," Asuka snarled through her tears. "You killed him... __**you killed him**!"_

_"I can't stop it! He... he tried to block me!"_

_"Traitor. Liar. Traitor. Liar. Traitor."_

_"I'm sorry! Please!"_

_"Liar."_

.

* * *

.

Unit-01's arm began to curl. The locks on the frame groaned in protest... until they shattered, multi-ton pieces falling off the Eva's arms. The second arm was freed a moment later. He punched at the manual launcher controls.

.

* * *

.

"Unit-01 is launching?!"

Misato turned towards Aoba. "What?"

"He's activated the manual launch override!"

"What about the locks?"

Aoba typed at his controls. "They're... broken? He's on his way up!"

"Cut his power. Unit-01 is not permitted to reach the surface," Commander Ikari ordered.

.

* * *

.

Unit-01 screeched to a halt as power to the catapult died. The power to the Evangelion died too. The timer sprang to life in the Entry Plug and the lights shifted red.

Shinji cursed and slammed his fist on the controls. "Fine! Five minutes is plenty! Hang on, Rei, Kaworu-kun!"

He pulled Unit-01 out of the launch cradle and began to climb the side of the shaft.

.

* * *

.

"Seal the shaft ahead of him. We do not have time for this," Commander Ikari ordered.

Thick steel hatches slid closed in the launch shaft.

An immense purple fist smashed them back open.

.

* * *

.

Rei blinked, her mind swirling erratically. She was... Entry Plug? Someone was screaming? Her throat felt raw. Was it her?

Her eyes wouldn't focus. Her AT-Field felt like one giant raw nerve. There was... someone else close by?

_An Angel!_

Enemy

Enemy

Enemy

Kill the threat!

Rei's hands... Lilith's hands? Unit-00's hands shakily rose to her left shoulder fin and extracted her Progressive Knife.

_Kill the Enemy..._

.

* * *

.

"Unit-00 is moving! She...she's equipped her Progressive Knife?" Lieutenant Aoba reported, confused.

Misato tried again to get Rei to respond. "Rei, what are you doing? Retreat! There's a recovery hatch 200 meters south!"

"Kill... Angel... Angel is close..." Rei slurred. "Kill... the... threat..."

Unit-00 began to half-walk, half-crawl towards the thrashing form of Unit-03.

.

* * *

.

The Enemy was close. She still couldn't focus her eyes or her thoughts, but she could feel it, the angry, buzzing presence of a spawn of Adam nearby... She must protect her loves. She must protect her friends.

She raised the knife.

.

* * *

.

"Rei! Stop! That's Unit-03!" Misato yelled. The blue Evangelion kept lurching forward, almost within striking distance of Unit-03. The black Evangelion had toppled to the ground while it continued to thrash.

Unit-00 crawled into the spotlight of the Angel's beam, and raised her arm to stab.

The Angel's light shifted to cover Unit-00.

Rei began to scream again.

.

* * *

.

"Unit-01 has reached the lower boundary of the city! He'll be on the surface in a minute!" Aoba said. "He has 3:32 of power remaining!"

Gendo's glare over his hands did not waver. "Increase the pressure of the LCL in the Entry Plug to maximum.

.

* * *

.

The pressure around Shinji began to build, pressing in until his head felt like it was going to implode. Then it eased, returning to normal. Shinji shook his head, a weary smile growing on his lips. _'Thank you, mother.'_

_'My son...'_

.

* * *

.

"LCL pressurization system not responding. System failure! His LCL isn't circulating, but he'll run out of power before it has any effect!" Aoba said. "2:48 of power left. He's reached the surface!"

It was only the virtue of over ten years in the man's company that allowed Fuyutsuki to see the way Gendo's shoulders suddenly locked into utter rigidity.

.

* * *

.

"REI! KAWORU-KUN! I'M COMING!"

Unit-01 tore up the street as he ran, pushing Unit-01 to impossible speed. He skidded around the last corner, bouncing off a weapon building on the far side of the intersection as he kept moving.

Far ahead, Unit-00 was raising its knife over Unit-03.

.

* * *

.

"Unit-02 has passed area two! She's coming above ground now!" Hyuga said.

_'So that's the Lance of Longinus,'_ Misato thought. _'Why is that less secret than the Angel down there?'_

The huge red Eva rose smoothly on the elevator platform, Lance clenched tightly in its hands. "Shinji, you stupid, stupid hero! Get Rei and get the Hell out of there!"

"KAWORU-KUN TOO!" he roared back.

Unit-01 reached the side of the other two Evas, heedless of the light that still lit up the street like a flare. He raised Unit-01's hands over his head and unfurled the AT-Field that had stopped Sahaquiel cold.

"NOBODY DIES! NOT WHILE I'M HERE!"

(Pacific Rim Opening Theme - Epic Rock Mix - Little V)

Every window for a kilometer around shattered in harmony.

"GOTT DAMN IT, BAKA! THINK ABOUT YOURSELF TOO!" Asuka hoisted the Lance over her head, taking a firm grip. "Misato, this had better work!"

"The Lance is self-guiding, Pilot. Just throw it as hard as you can once you have target lock," Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki instructed her.

Asuka reared back, and started a short run. "Stop hurting my friend, _IHR VERFICKTEN HURENSÖHNE_!"

Unit-02 threw the Lance into the sky with a throw that made every muscle in the Eva scream with effort. It was a throw that would have made Achilles roar with approval and envy, made Homer compose an ode to its beauty. It was a throw fueled by righteous fury and born of love. The air scorched in its wake.

The Lance rocketed upwards with a roar of its own, the stormclouds exploding away from it in a rapidly expanding ring.

.

* * *

.

Rei's eyes finally resumed focusing. She stared blankly as Unit-01 gently removed the knife from Unit-00's hand.

_'Oh...Shinji is here. Everything is ok, then... Where is Asuka? I want hugs...'_

_'...my everything hurts.'_

Thinking was hard. What was going on?

.

* * *

.

The Lance accelerated as it rose, breaking Mach 9 before it had traveled even a dozen miles. It slammed into Arael's AT-Field like an artillery shell against a plate glass window.

Arael's death scream was audible even in the vacuum of space, to those with ears to hear.

.

* * *

.

"Target annihilated," Aoba said with relief.

"Eva Unit-00, -01, and -03 stabilizing. Psychographs returning to within normal limits."

"Any damage to Unit-01?" Commander Ikari asked coldly.

"No sir. Shinji-kun's AT-Field held until the Lance struck the target."

"What about the Lance?" Fuyutsuki asked.

Hyuga consulted his instruments. "It's surpassed escape velocity. It's on course for a rough Lunar orbit."

"That's going to be impossible to recover," Fuyutsuki sighed.

"Yes, sir."

Underneath his folded hands, Gendo cracked a thin smile.

.

* * *

.

"Oy! Baka! You stupid, _stupid..._ HERO! Never do that again!" She glared at him with the full power of 'holy fucking shit Shinji you scared me to death don't ever do that I love you!' burning in her stare.

"Sorry, Asuka. I can't." His return look was sure and steady, even if it had a half-apologetic smile along with it.

"...I know." Asuka blew out a deep breath and marched Unit-02 towards the others. "Tell me Rei's alright?"

"Rei?"

"...unnnnngh," came weakly from Unit-00.

"Kaworu-kun? Are you there?"

A marginally stronger groan came from Unit-03's Entry Plug. "I... yes," the Fifth Child said. "I am here, Shinji-kun." He coughed. "Is... Is Ayanami-san alright? I'm sorry I... couldn't do more..."

"She's alive, Kaworu-kun." Shinji looked at the rapidly approaching Unit-02. "We did it, Asuka. They're alive."

Asuka glared at him through the comm window. "Oh, no! Don't you dare think being the so-brave-he's-a-baka hero that saves the team _again_ gets you out of a lecture, Shinji Ikari! I don't care how badass that was, you are still getting a _firm _talking-to tonight!"

"Asuka, I-" Shinji's comm window closed suddenly, and Unit-01 slumped over, batteries drained at last.

"Oooooh! Baka-Shinji! You aren't getting out of this that easily!" She slumped back in her seat herself, grinning from ear to ear. "Gott damn, I love that guy so much."

Her smile faded as she keyed a new window open. "Rei..." she called softly. "Are you... going to be alright?"

Rei weakly rolled her head around in the window. Asuka hissed in shock as she took in the blood still dripping from Rei's nose, and the mismatched pupils. "...'m 'k, 'Suka... yur here... Shinji here... N'gsa..."

Asuka winced. "Don't... don't try to talk, Rei. We'll get you to," Asuka frowned, "Doctor Akagi soon. Just rest. Angel's dead, we won."

Rei's attempt at a smile was heartbreaking. "'k...luv..." She closed her eyes.

.

* * *

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End of Chapter 9

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* * *

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Author's Note, 19OCT16: Ok, that didn't take quite as long as I thought. Many thanks to SV reader Matt R, who's omake _Star Crossed_ was so good I had to make it canon herein. He wrote the section of Lilith's memories of the FAR, and how two Seeds came to Earth.

And that's a wrap for Chapter 9. Boy… Chapters 8 and 9 are larger than the rest of the fic put together… This battle alone was 8500 words. I hope the music comes through. The Chapter title is a reference to the Bryan Adams song, and the battle here included Gurren Lagann's Libera Me From Hell and the Epic Rock mix of the Pacific Rim theme. A Hallelujah seemed... superfluous.

Arael is dead, and only two Angels remain in the path of SEELE and Gendo's plans. Rei has revived memories of Lilith, Kaworu has had his face rubbed in how empty and death-seeking his life has been, Shinji has again defied Gendo, and Ritsuko now knows that Misato knows about the Angel in the basement. Needless to say, there's going to be some major repercussions from all this. So there might be some delay while I work things out. Chapter 10 – Choices and Sacrifices, coming soon.

And of course, there will be _faaaa~n service_!

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Oh, and I've set up a Pat re on if anyone wants to hit the tip jar. Pat re on dot com slash Strypgia.


	38. Ch 36 - Choices & Sacrifices Pt1

**Chapter 10.1  
****Choices and Sacrifices**

+++

It took skill and patience to remove the screws holding in the vent cover from inside the vent, but he had both. Carefully removing the metal cover as quietly as he could, Kaji slowly lowered himself to the floor, looking around. He knew the place was supposed to be empty, but he'd been caught by surprise by places he 'knew' were empty before. Lessons like that had a way of sticking.

_'And who would have thought that __**Rei **__of all people would know the precise route down to Ritsuko's lab via the air vents? That girl has hidden, weird depths,'_ he mused, looking up at the way he'd come in.

A single, innocuous text message from Misato as she'd been running for the elevator to Central Dogma had theoretically been the alert to make his move to sneak into Ritsuko's private lab. Misato had been ready to send him a text that said 'Shall we go out drinking under the moon?' the next time she was sure she could be sure Rits and Lieutenant Ibuki were going to be kept away from the lab for a good bit. But by the time the text had arrived, he was already on his way: The Angel alarm was an even better guarantee they'd be too busy to be in the lab for a while, and it's not like he had an official place to be that anyone would miss him.

He did a rapid sweep of the lab, planted a few bugs, then reached to rifle through the papers left on the desk.

His brow furrowed. _'Notes on Rei's bloodwork, and AT-Field spikes? Why on paper? She has the MAGI totally under her control. Why doesn't she trust her own system?'_

He placed the papers back as they had been, and looked at the partly-concealed doorway in the back of the lab. _'Let's see what else is down here.'_

+++

The big screen showed Unit-02 carefully carrying Unit-00 back towards the closest Eva launch cradle and gingerly positioning it inside for recovery. Ritsuko was making reassuring noises about Rei's vital signs, and the Fifth Child was even somehow still barely conscious. Misato let herself enjoy a momentary sigh of relief. Things could have gone a lot worse.

She turned from looking over Ritsuko's shoulder back to the main screen. "Asuka, get Unit-03 next. Nagisa needs-"

"Recover Unit-01 immediately," Commander Ikari overrode her. "Alert a security detail to detain the Third Child and escort him to the brig as soon as he is removed."

Misato looked back at the Commander in confusion. "Sir, Unit-01 is out of power. He's not in any danger, and Pilot Nagisa was injured by that Angel just like Rei."

The Commander's stare was even more icy and flat than usual. "I ordered Unit-01 recovered next, Major Katsuragi. You have your orders."

Misato carefully kept her face a calm mask. _'You can't even say it, can you? You don't even care about your son, just his mother. That's what this is really about, isn't it?'_

"Yes, sir," was all she said.

"The Third Child will remain confined until I send for him. Doctor Akagi, I want a full checkup on Unit-01's status as soon as it is recovered, and then the First Child as soon as you are done with that," he continued.

_'Unit-01 I can understand, but why __**Rei**__ next? How does she figure into whatever fucked up plan you're running, Commander? Damn it. There's just too many pieces we're still missing. Shinji's mother only knew the plan up until she 'died', and Commander Ikari obviously made his own modifications. But... is Rei part of it?'_ The quiet, sweet girl who was very obviously close to her two wards was almost too nice to even think of as part of Commander Ikari's plot, or SEELE's, but it was looking harder to avoid that conclusion. Rei had recognized SEELE's name, after all. Misato filed that uncomfortable thought away.

"Asuka, recover Unit-01 next," she ordered.

On screen, the huge red Evangelion was already bending down, reaching for Unit-03. It halted. "Wait, what?" Asuka protested. "Baka Shinji's out of power! He's not going anywhere, and der Setzling here is hurt!"

"Orders. Unit-01 first," Misato repeated coolly.

Muttered German swearing was all she got in reply, but Unit-02 rose and turned around, dragging Unit-01 down the street towards the next launch port.

"I'm... I'm okay... to wait... Major..." the Fifth Child said slowly, through obvious pain. "See to... the others... first."

Misato gritted her teeth, biting down on a snarl. _'One day, Commander Ikari, we're going to find out what you're up to. And I __**will**__ have vengeance for my father's ghost.'_

+++

Rattles, clunks. The sensation of falling, dropping slowly... Shinji knew Unit-01 was being recovered, but he was surprised with how soon it was taking place. Had they recovered Rei and Kaworu-kun so fast already?

More thuds, and the bangs and sudden loss of vibration that signaled the Evangelion being locked into place. He must be in the Cages now. He had a pretty good bet what was coming next.

The Entry Plug lurched and slid out of the Eva. Some more clunks and a sudden rushing sound as the LCL vented, leaving him spitting and coughing the remnants out of his lungs as the hatch popped open. He swung himself out onto the gantry... right into the face of a squad of grim-faced guards already pointing guns at him.

"Pilot Ikari, you are under arrest for insubordination. You will come with us."

Shinji stared him in the face for a moment before slowly sweeping his eyes across the full squad. Returning his glare to the officer who'd spoken, he coldly said, "You think you've got enough men to take me?" He savored the mixture of confusion and apprehension that flashed across his face before stepping forward and putting up his hands. "My fellow Pilots and I kill _gods_, Lieutenant. I've saved the world half a dozen times already. Let's get this over with."

The lieutenant's eyes darted to the impassive, gigantic mask of Unit-01, looming over the gantry and the tiny humans clustered on it. He cuffed Shinji's hands without looking him in the eye.

+++

_'If he asks, I'm counting ordering the automated systems to start,'_ Ritsuko thought to herself as Unit-00's Entry Plug swung out and over to the gantry. The wash of venting LCL splashed on her shoes, but she didn't back up as the hatch opened. She stuck her head inside when no Pilot emerged after a moment. "Rei? Status?"

A plugsuited hand snapped up and grabbed her lapel with almost violent power. "Drug me. Now," Rei hissed urgently through clenched teeth.

Ritsuko tried to pull back. Rei's grip was pulling her awkwardly close, the rim of the hatch digging painfully into her waist. "Rei, what-"

"_Please!_" Rei begged. "It _hurts_! I... I won't be able t-to keep my mask up in f-front of him right n-now! He'll _know_! _Drug me_!"

Ritsuko sucked a breath in through her teeth. There was blood all over Rei's face and plugsuit, trailing from her nose and eyes. Her pupils were different sizes and only barely managing to track together. "Alright, Rei, just... hold on. I'm taking you to Terminal Dogma for a checkup. Commander's orders."

Rei nodded, jerkily. "Hurts," she gasped, finally letting go of Ritsuko's labcoat. "Inside. Inside my... my mind. Hurts," she said weakly, what desperate strength had animated her visibly dribbling out. "Something in my head... but it wasn't me..."

Ritsuko ducked out of the Entry Plug for a moment, grabbed a syringe off the mobile medical station that she'd brought along with the gurney, and returned. She carefully felt for one of the medical access points on the plugsuit's left wrist. "This... this should knock you out for a while, Rei. I'll try to keep Commander Ikari away, but I don't know how long I can do so. He's... very insistent on checking on you."

Rei nodded weakly and the pain twisting her face began to fade as the injection took hold. "Thank ... you..." she whispered as her eyes drooped closed.

+++

"The Angel attacked her mind via its beam. It appears to have been some sort of specialized AT-Field, but the MAGI are still analyzing the data. It had physical effects: She was bleeding from her nose and eyes, her pupils had mismatched dilation, and her eyes were not tracking together. She reported extreme pain and disorientation when I opened the Entry Plug, so I sedated her, sir." Butter would not melt in Ritsuko's mouth.

Commander Ikari's glasses shone eerily in the sunset light filtering down from the surface. He stared at her from his usual hands-folded pose, seated at his desk. "I want you to alert me as soon as she regains consciousness. We need to determine if the Angel affected her mind. Begin preliminary actions to ready the next clone. In the event she is negatively distorted from it, we may have to replace the current one and restore from the latest full scan upload."

Ritsuko carefully concealed the shiver that ran through her at how _casually_ Gendo ordered that. _'And she's his favorite. Right.'_ "Yes, sir. I'm continuing my examination, but a night of LCL -boosted treatment in the scan chamber should heal most of the physical trauma. The Angel's beam affected her mind and AT-Field more than her body."

"Explain. What did it do to her AT-Field?" he said.

"Her AT-Field is… I don't know how to describe it, sir. It's almost… thinned. She's weakened badly, but recovering. She shouldn't try synchronizing with her Eva for a while, until it stabilizes. In fact, she should avoid all strains, as much as possible. I recommend keeping her out of school for a week, and letting her rest as much as possible."

"Keep her in the Terminal Dogma lab, then," Gendo ordered.

Ritsuko shook her head. "Too much proximity to Lilith. She needs to be at some distance to let her own AT-Field stabilize. Bed rest in her apartment next to Major Katsuragi's should be sufficient. She'll be as far from Lilith's AT-Field as possible, and during the day she'll even be away from other people. The Section 2 teams will have overwatch, and Major Katsuragi can check on her in the evenings."

"Fine," Gendo grunted, "make it so. Four days rest, and we'll re-evaluate. Send a note to the school."

There was a moment of silence, and she waited for his dismissal.

"Unit-01 showed no effects?" he asked again.

_'You spent half an hour interrogating me in detail about Unit-01's Core before you let me say word one about the First Child. Yes, your precious Yui is fine, Commander. God, how did I ever think I could get your mind off her for even one minute?'_ "Yes, sir. The Third Child's AT-Field held off any effects until the Angel was terminated by the Lance. Unit-01's Core shows no effect." She paused. "I have not yet had time to examine Unit-00 or Unit-03."

Gendo gave a nod so small it was barely noticeable. "See to them, then return to monitoring the First Child. Report any irregularities with Unit-03. I still want answers for how the Fourth Child was recovered from the Core."

_'Of course you do. That's all that matters to you, isn't it? Even your whole Scenario is less about Human Instrumentality than just getting __**her**__ back. Looks like I'll be working all night and sleeping in the lab again. God, I want to just curl up with Maya.'_

"Yes, sir," was all she said out loud.

"You are dismissed. Send in Major Katsuragi."

"Yes, sir." She turned to go.

"And Doctor Akagi?"

She turned back. "Sir?"

"My apartment, 2200."

She managed to keep her face still. It was harder to pretend than it used to be. "Yes, sir." _'You just want to pretend I'm her again, don't you? Now I __**really**__ want Maya.' _

Outside the office, Misato was waiting her turn to be grilled. The Operations Director gave her old friend a tired ghost of a smile. "Hey. Bet you the next round of drinks you'll be in bed before me tonight?"

Ritsuko snorted sourly. "No bet. I'm going to be working all night. The Commander even wants me to give him a full debriefing at 2200. You can go in now, he's waiting."

"Gee, thanks."

+++

"...no major physical damage to Unit-00, Unit-03, or Unit-01. All four Evas will be fully mission-ready by end of day tomorrow."

Commander Ikari just gave a small "Mmn," of acknowledgement. When he didn't react further, Misato continued.

"Pilot Ayanami has been taken under care of Doctor Akagi, per your instructions. Pilot Nagisa has been taken to the Geofront Hospital and examined. He has bleeding from his nose, eyes, and ears, and reported severe pain. They've sedated him, at his request. Pilot Ikari is… currently confined, again per your instructions, and has not been examined."

"Pilot Ikari has again engaged in gross insubordination during combat. He was directed not to sortie and risk Unit-01. He did so anyhow, and damaged multiple launch shaft blast doors in the process," Commander Ikari replied. "I am tired of his childish behavior. This is unacceptable in an Evangelion Pilot. He can remain confined until I summon him tomorrow."

"And a medical check? Not until after that?" Misato prodded.

"You may escort a medic for a basic check."

"Sir, I believe he might respond better to discipline on this matter if I spoke to him."

The Commander's lenses glittered coldly at her. "The last time you spoke to him about insubordination, Major, he then went AWOL for three days until forcibly retrieved by Section 2."

Misato held down her frown. "We have had considerably more time together since then, sir. We understand each other a lot better." _'And the last time __**you**__ chewed him out over insubordination, you fired him because you thought you could replace him with the Dummy Plugs. If he and Asuka hadn't ignored that and hijacked Unit-03, we'd all be dead.'_

"You may speak to him as you wish, Major. I will still discuss the matter with him myself tomorrow."

"What do you intend, sir? He and Asuka remain our best Pilots. Punishment for disobeying instructions is in order, but I am worried about…" How could she phrase this? "Sidelining our top Pilots for too long when we don't know when the next Angel could hit us."

The Commander was silent for a moment. "The Third Child will be disciplined appropriately. The degree of punishment will depend on how well he understands the depth of his offense," he finally said, cold and low. "He was ordered not to risk another Eva until Unit-02 could retrieve appropriate weapons to counterattack with."

"If he hadn't reached Unit-00 when he did, Rei could have damaged or destroyed Unit-03 and Pilot Nagisa in her disorientation," Misato countered. "Rei and Pilot Nagisa were also in critical danger from the effects of the Angel's beam, too. His actions protected them both from further harm."

The Commander did not move. "Irrelevant. He could just as easily have been crippled like the others. Evangelions are critical assets to defend against the Angels. The decision to risk one in battle is not up to the Pilot. He is not permitted to risk vital elements of Earth's defense on personal feelings."

Years of military discipline let Misato keep her expression calm and focused. _'You were ready to risk it out of desire not to risk you wife. And we're alone, I'm armed, and you helped murder my father. I'm holding back the desire to shoot you. You want to talk about 'risking vital elements of Earth's defense on personal feelings', you heartless, evil bastard? I won't let you win. You or SEELE.'_ "Yes, sir. I'll impress that on him when I speak to him. Any special instructions for Pilot Nagisa's treatment? Will Doctor Akagi be examining him?"

"The hospital staff can handle the Fifth Child. He can be released to your hands when they are done with him. You are dismissed, Major."

Misato crisply saluted, turned on her heel, and headed for the door. _'You knew, you bastard. My father died because of you.'_

+++

"Oi, Regenbogenforelle! Bist du halbwegs angezogen?" a familiar voice called through the closed door to his hospital room. [Oi, Rainbow Trout! You dressed to receive visitors?]

Kaworu muted the television. "Hallo, Fräulein Soryu. Ja bin ich. Bitte komm herein." [Hello, Miss Soryu. Yes, I am. Please come in.]

The door slid aside to admit the Second and Fourth Children. Kaworu smiled at his guests, though only Horaki-san returned it. The bloodied blotting cloths on the tray he'd pushed away and the remaining smears of blood on his face were not encouraging. "And hello to you too, Horaki-san. It is kind of you to visit me." He peered at the door, but no more guests were forthcoming. "Where are Shinji-kun and Ayanami-san?"

"Hmmph!" Asuka grumped. "Commander… Ikari had baka-Shinji arrested for 'insubordination' again, for launching without permission to go help you and Rei. And Rei is… we don't know. Doctor B… _Akagi_ is 'examining' her, and won't even let us in to see her. We can't even tell if she's here in the hospital. When we couldn't find her, Hikari suggested we visit you and see if you were alright too."

"You...er… were screaming a lot when that Angel hit you, Nagisa-san. Rei, too. We… were worried about you both." Hikari said. She eyed the bloody cloths nervously. "Are you… hurt?"

Kaworu gave them a wan smile. "It was… painful, yes. I have been given a good amount of painkillers." He gestured at the IV line leading from his arm to the bag of fluid hanging from the stand next to the bed. "It helps, some."

Asuka's stare was sharp and intense. "What happened? _Can_ you talk about it? What was it?"

Kaworu's face clouded. "I… it… _invaded _me. Smashed its way into my mind. It was extremely painful and… violating. It… ransacked my mind, going through every bad memory and pain I have. And once it ran out of memories, it started showing me all my fears. Nightmares." He shuddered and looked down at his hands.

Hikari looked pale. Asuka looked worse. "Jesus, Kaworu. Are… no, you can't be 'alright' from that. It attacked you with your own bad memories and fears? I…" Asuka shivered. "I don't even want to picture what that must have been like."

Kaworu nodded slightly. "I do not think it would have been… something you would take without great pain. In a way, I am glad it struck me, so it did not harm either of you or Shinji-kun."

"You're sounding like he would," Asuka said dryly. "And… thank you for trying to protect Rei. It was… hard to sit and listen to her scream. It didn't get any better when it hit you, either. I can understand why baka-Shinji couldn't just sit still while I got sent for that spear."

Kaworu looked at her more carefully. "A... spear? You killed the Angel with it?"

A more familiar, more cocky smile appeared on Asuka face. "Oh yeah. I threw it into _orbit_. One hit kill on that Angel."

Hikari put a finger to her chin. "Ne, Asuka, doesn't that tie you up with Ikari-kun?"

Asuka blinked. "I… huh. I hadn't even thought of it. Yeah, it does. It kind of slipped my mind, but yes, that puts us both at 4 solo and 3 joint kills." Her smile faded away. "Baka Shinji… and he's not even here for me to… rub it in."

"That spear sounds… quite amazing. But if you threw it that hard, is it… lost?" Kaworu asked. A drop of blood began to trickle down from his nose. "It sounds like a powerful weapon for any future Angel attacks."

Hikari pointed at his face. "Ah… Nagisa-san, you're… bleeding again."

He picked up one of the already bloodied cloths on the tray and blotted up the drip. "Thank you, Horaki-san. I… have felt better."

"I overheard some chatter about lunar orbit or something. Yeah, that spear is way out there, whatever it is. I don't think we're getting it back," Asuka said.

"Ah, that is… a shame. It sounds like something that could put a permanent stop to any Angel," Kaworu said. He looked down at his hands. The bloody cloth still in his left hand was shaking. "You have heard nothing from Ayanami-san at all? There is something I wanted to ask her to do for me."

Asuka shook her head. "Sorry, no. We looked. They've got her squirreled away somewhere deep for whatever medical treatment she's getting. I don't know why you're not getting the same. Anything we can do for you in her place?"

Kaworu smiled gently. "Oh, I'm sure Commander Ikari has reasons for ordering this. And thank you, but no. This is about a matter she and I have had discussions on, something she has promised she'd do for me. It's something between us." His smile faded away. "I just… really wanted to talk to her."

After a moment he forced it back. "It is heartening enough that you visit me. All I have had so far is old television shows to keep me occupied and not dwelling on the bad thoughts the Angel dredged up." He waved at the television on the far wall.

The two young women looked at it. "Some old show about… the American army?" Hikari asked.

"No, that's a hospital. See? He's getting into scrubs. Well, a military field hospital," Asuka pointed out.

"I just started watching it," Kaworu said. "The humor appeals to me, and I like the opening song. It feels more fitting to me right now than 'Ode To Joy'." He hummed a few bars.

Asuka smiled. "A bit different from your usual classical stuff, Rainbow Trout. No subtitles, I see. So, you speak English too, hm?" She turned to Hikari and grinned. "You need to catch up to the Pilot standard, Hikari. Once I get baka Shinji and Rei learning English too, you'll be the only Pilot who isn't tri-lingual."

Hikari snorted back at her. "School English isn't going to cut it, is it? And I bet you want me to learn German too, don't you?"

"Aber natürlich!" [But naturally!] Asuka smirked. "All the cool kids are doing it."

"So I am 'Rainbow Trout' to you too, now, Miss Soryu?" Kaworu asked, interrupting.

Asuka turned her smirk on him. "Well, you successfully made it through your first Eva deployment, so I can't quite call you 'new fish' anymore, but Rei suggested that as your nickname, and I like it. So the Rainbow Trout you are! All Pilots have a nickname around here. Baka Shinji, Wondergirl, Rainbow Trout…" Asuka listed.

Hikari cocked her head. "What about me?"

"Class Rep," Asuka continued without missing a beat. "And me, the Great Asuka Langley Soryu."

"Not exactly a nickname, that," Hikari observed.

"It is, however, in keeping with her usual modesty," Major Katsuragi said from the doorway, walking in. "Good to see you conscious, Kaworu-kun."

"Hello, Major. I confess, I wish I was not. My head still feels terrible." The Fifth Child touched his temple gingerly.

"I'll keep this to just a quick check on your well-being, then, and we can do the more thorough debrief when you've had some rest."

"Should we hang around for support, or do you want us to beat it, Misato?" Asuka inquired.

"You can stay if you like, this won't take too long. The docs said he needs rest and painkillers right now more than anything else," Misato said. "But I do need to talk to you for a few minutes after we're done, Asuka."

"What about?"

"I'm going to see Shinji next." 


	39. Ch37 - Choices & Sacrifices Pt 2

Advice &amp; Trust

Chapter 10.2

**Choices And Sacrifices**

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* * *

Rei forced the pain down by long habit of self-control. She couldn't entirely suppress a pained sound as she opened her eyes slowly. She was floating, and the world was orange.

'_Ah… I am in the Examination/Scanning Tube in Terminal Dogma,'_ Rei muzzily concluded. The background roar in her head resolved itself into the more familiar feeling of her greater body's presence nearby. It was… louder than it usually was, much louder. It was hard to _think_, it was so loud. Why was it so loud?

"ARE YOU OK, REI?" Doctor Akagi's voice screamedshoutedbellowedroared at her. PRESENCECLOSEOTHEROTHEROTHER

Rei flinched away. "Stop! Don't! Too loud!" She tried to back away. Her back bumped against the inside of the tube as her hands futilely rose to cover her ears.

Silence held for several seconds. She could feel Doctor Akagi moving back, away from the tube, even with her eyes closed. The painful rasp of an other's AT-Field against hers was raw, painful, worse than even the harshest occasions after she'd gone off her medication the first time.

She forced her eyes open again. Doctor Akagi was worriedly staring at her from the far side of the scanning control console. Rather than speak, she raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

Rei's eyes darted around nervously. No black-clad Commander was apparent.

"He's not here, Rei. I told him you needed rest, but he insisted I call him as soon as you woke up. I can give you a little time to… get ready, but he's going to want to see you soon," Doctor Akagi said quietly. It was still like someone shouting at her from inches away.

"So loud…" Rei whispered, still hunched over as much as she could in the tube. "I can feel you… I'm too close… too close to her. I can't… she's so _loud_." Rei's hands started to massage her temples. "My head…"

Ritsuko grimaced. "I told the Commander you need rest away from… here. You're going to be sent back to your apartment for a few days, no school. The building is mostly empty now. It'll just be you, Misato, and the other Children. Best I could do without raising suspicion." She looked up at the ceiling, frowning. "_He_ wanted to keep you here. Where he could see you." Her gaze drifted back down to Rei. "I figured you'd want to be… away."

Rei nodded weakly. "The presence of the others is… soothing. Thank you," she said quietly. She took a moment to compose herself. "The Angel is dead? What happened?"

"The Second Child killed it with the Lance. The Third Child kept you from attacking Unit-03 with your Progressive Knife. You've been out for," Ritsuko shot a look at the console, "about 6 hours." She looked back up. "You asked me to... drug you. Do you remember that?"

Rei nodded. "I… do. And I will need you to do so again before you summon him. I will not be able to pretend very well, right now. Just… something to keep the pain down, until I can leave."

Ritsuko looked uncomfortable. "I… Rei, are you sure? I… I may not have been _trying_ to kill you when I upped your dose before, but… I was that sunk in my delusions that I didn't _care _if you did. I…"

"Doctor Akagi, I… this is difficult…" Rei whispered, "but I _cannot_ maintain the appearance Commander Ikari expects without numbing right now. It… My AT-Field is very weak. Even your presence this close is intensely painful. I will not be able to conceal this reaction when Commander Ikari arrives unless you sedate me. If he discovers I am… feeling, thinking… he will… potentially… replace me." Rei shivered. "I do not wish to be replaced. I don't want to… forget the ones I love. Forget my feelings. My heart."

Almost unwillingly, Ritsuko stiffly walked over to the medical cart and rolled it closer to the tube. She tapped at the controls on the console in passing, and the tube began to drain. As the LCL gurgled lower in the tube, she pulled out a syringe and filled it with one of the medications on top of the cart. "This… this is the lowest dose sedative I can…"

"It will have to be strong, Doctor. I am… barely able to keep from screaming right now, with just you this close." The tube finished emptying and slid open. Rei automatically bent over and let the LCL drain out of her lungs and throat. "Please. Give me the injection, quickly."

Ritsuko slammed the syringe back down onto the cart and hung her head. "And _why_ isn't that _right_?! I nearly killed you with sheer bitchy _indifference_! Doing _exactly this_! How can you stand to let me do it again?!"

Rei had never heard a voice so full of self-loathing. "Please…. Now…"

"I nearly killed you with an overdose, treated you like _shit_, threw things at you, helped that fucker plan the end of the fucking _world_… how can you forgive me?! I don't deserve this!"

"No. You do not. We discussed this that night. This is p-part of earning it." Rei was shaking with the effort of keeping it together. "N-now quickly… it hurts. I need the drugs."

Ritsuko flinched again at the words, but picked up the syringe again. She quickly found a vein on Rei's arm, and slowly pressed the plunger home.

Rei had to force herself not to slump in relief as the screaming PRESENCE of Doctor Akagi's proximity faded into the background, and the pain subsided into a duller, more diffuse feeling of discomfort. "Th-thank you…"

"Rei… I'm sorry. I… I'm… I'm my fucking mother. I don't know how you or Maya can stand me." She put the needle away, and shoved the cart back to where it started. She handed Rei a towel to begin wiping away the LCL. "I'll… I have to call him down now. I can't explain why you're up and about, ready to walk out if it's too long."

"I forgive because I choose to, and I know you sincerely regret your actions and want to atone. Lieutenant Ibuki forgives because she loves you and wants the woman she loves to be a better person," Rei said quietly. "I know what you risk by helping me conceal things from him. This is part of atonement, so one day you may earn her love."

"How do you know I'm not just lying again?"

Rei's smile was wan, but there. "I see your heart, Doctor. I know." She raised her left hand in front of her face. It was shaking badly. She balled it into a fist and let it fall to her side. "Now, how quickly can you get me out of here once we've convinced him I'm 'functional'? I need to be… away from Terminal Dogma."

Doctor Akagi shook her head. "I think he's going to insist you stay here overnight. I think I can get you out of here in the morning."

Rei's face was almost 'normally' blank, but her flicker of pain must have been visible. "I see. I… wish to be home as soon as manageable. I… need them."

"I'll do what I can."

.

* * *

.

Rei was glad Doctor Akagi had suggested she return to the tube before the Commander arrived. She was grateful for even the minor buffer of the LCL and the tiny extra distance the tube provided from the cold, icy wall of his AT-Field.

His stare was no warmer, though Rei could feel the warped concern for her emanating from him. It was altogether colder and unpleasant compared to the warm, welcoming care she felt from her loves, or even the open, if alien honesty from Nagisa. Even the Commander's rapid walk in had been no longer the welcome event it had been 5 months before. Now it was just a perilous challenge she had to maintain her facade through.

"You are functional, Rei?" he asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Describe what you experienced. Did the Angel contaminate you?" he asked intensely.

"No, sir. It broke through my AT-Field and attempted some form of entry into my mind. I perceived a jumble of memories and… imagery I cannot explain. There was severe pain and a feeling of invasion. I attempted to repel the hostile intrusion, but failed. I believe it was… trying to extract information from me."

"Did it?"

"I do not recall it reaching memories of sensitive matters, sir. And it is dead. Once the Angel was dead, the pain and disorientation persisted at a lower level until Doctor Akagi was able to administer a sedative. I am… damaged, but will recover."

Commander Ikari looked to Doctor Akagi. "Proceed."

Doctor Akagi nodded and pointed at the readout on the tube's control console. "Her AT-Field is badly thinned. As I said, she needs rest and relative distance. Only people she knows well near her for a week. I want her to report here for daily scans to monitor her recovery. 1200 daily, Rei." She looked to the Commander. "Acceptable, sir?"

"I would prefer her here," he said.

Ritsuko shook her head. "Lilith's AT-Field is too powerful, this close. It will impede regeneration of her own, and delay her ability to resume Piloting."

The Commander's face was stony. "Fine. Keep her here until you have performed the first check tomorrow. I want immediate reports if anything has changed out of your prediction. Elevate her dosage to block the pain until she has recovered at least 75%. The pain will disrupt her Synch Rate otherwise."

Ritsuko nodded. "I have already administered an additional dose, and I'll be tailoring it as needed during the daily scans, sir."

He turned back to the tube. "You are able to perform your function, Rei? And rebuild?"

"Yes, sir. I will focus on restoring my AT-Field." Rei hesitated. "Status of the others, sir? My disabling will not compromise defenses?"

"The Second Child was unaffected. The Third Child is confined for failure to follow orders. I will deploy him if necessary. And Unit-03 will be deployed with the Fourth Child until the Fifth recovers."

Rei waited. It was hard. She wanted to scream at him. "My perceptions were confused, sir. I attempted to attack Unit-03 due to the Fifth Child's presence. Did I damage Unit-03?"

Gendo's razor thin smile was far too malicious now. "You did not. We will deal with the Fifth Child later. His injuries do not matter, and will possibly leave him weakened when you need to deal with him. The time will come soon, Rei. There is only one more Angel left to arrive. Once it is handled, I will allow you to remove the Fifth Child, and the desired end of our Scenario will finally arrive. An end to your pain and all barriers in our hearts."

"Yes, sir." _'I will not permit you to harm those I love_, _Commander._'

"We will have dinner once you've recovered, Rei."

"Yes, sir."

He turned to go. As he passed Ritsuko, he said one last thing to her, "Continue preparing the next, just in case." The lab door slid closed behind him.

Ritsuko shuddered. She looked at Rei. "I won't do it. I can't. It… I can't do that to you."

Rei shook her head, her hands going to her temples, trying to rub away the throbbing pain of too many people near her too close. "You must. He will know if you do not. We will… dispose of the… unquickened clone in my place if he orders my replacement or something."

"Rei, I _can't_ do-"

"You _must_. He still thinks you loyal. Discovery would be fatal to us both, and you cannot be replaced like I can, if it comes to that."

"Rei, we… the recording system isn't perfect. And we _know_ there will be… problems, gaps with any… new you," Ritsuko protested. "And your last full backup was over a month ago."

"I will not forget them. Any of them." Rei looked pensive. "...is the Fifth Child alright?"

Ritsuko pulled out her pocket terminal and scrolled through some reports. "He's… like you. Pain, mental disorientation, needed sedation. He's in the Geofront hospital. Last nurse check says he's resting and watching television. The Second and Fourth visited him. I haven't gotten to scan him, but I bet he's got the same sort of AT-Field damage you did. The Commander is right, he's probably… vulnerable right now. You could probably… take him out easily."

"Doing so would alert SEELE and the Commander. No. He is… not to be harmed," Rei said. "Can you…" She trailed off.

Ritsuko waited. "Can I what, Rei? Keep him sedated? He's an Angel, and I know his presence… sets you off."

Rei shook her head again. "No, treat him… like one of us, Doctor. I have talked him into… being an ally. He is resisting SEELE's directives and his own nature. He does not wish to harm us."

Ritsuko frowned. "Rei, whatever he's _saying_, his nature is going to drive him to try breaking into here. That's inevitable."

"Then I will stop him. But until then, he is an ally. He attempted to defend me in this battle. I remember that much."

Ritsuko shrugged. "I'll see what I can do, but there are limits to how much I can manage without the Commander noticing. And the Fifth Child is still our enemy in the end, no matter what."

"I believe I may change that. He does not want to be our enemy. He wants to be… like us. Like me."

Rei's head sank. "But if I have to stop him… I will. Because I understand."

.

* * *

.

Lacking a ball to bounce off the far wall, Shinji contented himself with humming parts of the main theme of the _15th Birthday Concerto_. There wasn't anything else to do in his dimly lit cell. He'd done his best to clean off the remaining LCL coating his plugsuit with toilet paper and the tiny sink, but even that effort had only occupied him for less than an hour. Now he was starting to get hungry. And bored. And…

"_Fuck_, I miss Asuka," he whispered to the empty cell.

How many hours had it been already? He took a look at the tiny readout on his plugsuit's wrist: 1918. Well past dinner time. Were they even going to bother feeding him? He wouldn't put it past his _asshole_ father to-

The cell door rasped and slid open, the fluorescent lights of the corridor almost too much after the weak light in his cell. He covered his eyes and tried to see who had come.

"This had better be the last time I have to do this, Pilot Ikari."

"Misato-san?"

His guardian and roommate stood silhouetted in the doorway. Her face was impossible to make out, but her voice was full-Operations Manager Mode, not friendly at all. There was movement behind her: A second person waiting?

"This is Doctor Ogata," Misato said. "She's going to give you a medical check, to make sure that Angel didn't injure you like it did the First and Fifth Children. While she does that, you are going to pay attention to my lecturing you _again _on the importance of following orders. This is the second time I have had to personally talk to you about insubordination and listening to instructions, Pilot. I do not want to do this again."

The attractive middle-aged woman in the lab coat behind Misato nodded to him and began by plugging a laptop into one of the readout ports on Shinji's plugsuit before peeling back his eyelid to shine a light in his face.

Shinji tried not to wince away. "Um... am I going to have to take my suit off, Misato-san? I'm... um... this is kind of embarrassing."

"No, you will not. These cells are monitored anyway, Pilot Ikari. You're going to be watched no matter what. So pay attention to every word I say," Misato said flatly. "Here. Since you have been acting like a impetuous child, you will be treated as such. This is a copy of NERV's regulations. You are to read the chapters on orders, discipline, and tactics." Misato stepped inside the cell and handed him a thick book, a student's notepad, and a pen. "I expect a three thousand word essay on the importance of following orders in the morning. You should pay special attention to Chapters 2 and 3." Her right eyelid shivered.

Shinji blinked. Had Misato-san just... winked at him? He tried to bring his arms back down from where Doctor Ogata had pushed them up to check his sides, but Misato took the book and pad out of his hands before he could flip to the named chapters. She placed the book and pad on the small bunk he'd been sitting on, away from the door.

"Just let the Doctor examine you for now, Pilot. You can get to work once we're gone. You'll be here all night. You will report to the Commander in the morning, when he summons you. I advise keeping your mouth shut and doing exactly as instructed, if you want to avoid severe punishment. Understood?"

He set his jaw and nodded. This was about what he'd expected. It still stung to have Misato-san acting so harsh again. He couldn't regret it, though. Saving Rei was worth it.

"You need to pay attention to my words, Pilot Ikari. The Second Child would read that entire book in one night. You should try to be just like her." Her eyelid fluttered again.

Shinji froze for a second. Maybe she wasn't being as harsh as she seemed. "Misato-san... are the others ok? I ran out of power before I... could ask if Rei was-"

"The First Child is under Doctor Akagi's care," Misato said stiffly. "The Fifth Child is in the Geofront hospital. The Angel did... wound them. They are recovering. The Second and Fourth Children visited him."

Doctor Ogata finished up, disconnecting the laptop and poking at the keyboard. "He is fine, Major. No abnormalities detected. He's in good health."

Shinji's stomach rumbled loudly.

Doctor Ogata eyed him. "Though you should probably feed him. Please excuse me." She shuffled past Misato and exited.

Misato pointed with her eyes at the near corner of the ceiling. "We will be watching, Shinji. You should start work on that essay right away. I'll have food sent down. Remember, remain quiet and obedient with the Commander, and do as you're instructed." She turned and left, the cell door slamming shut behind her. He could hear her boot heels fading away down the hall, leaving him alone again.

He sat down on the bunk and picked up the book, making sure his back was towards the corner Misato had indicated. He quickly flipped to Chapter 2. He didn't even look at the title of the chapter.

There was a folded set of pages tucked into the book, covering it.

He made extra sure his body blocked the likely camera before carefully pulling out the sheets and unfolding them. It was a letter from Misato-san!

_Dear Shinji,_

_Yes, I am aware of the irony of lecturing you on insubordination, then committing insubordinate acts myself like slipping you these letters and advice. Shut up. Read these letters carefully, then dispose of them down the toilet in shreds. Don't let the camera in the top left corner of the cell near the door see them, either. We can't let them be found._

_The Commander is very angry, and I think frightened. He was more tense than I'd ever seen him after the battle, and very insistent on you being punished. I think we can both guess why: He is afraid you risked your mother in exposing her to that Angel. Keep that in mind when he summons you tomorrow. I mean it: Keep your mouth shut! If he is as frightened as I think he is, he will look for any excuse to punish you for this, so just stay quiet, agree to whatever he says, and we'll deal with it once he's calmed down. As long as you're still able to stay a Pilot, we can handle it, so don't risk that. He's tried to fire you once before. I know you don't want to leave Asuka to fight without you, so __stay calm__! _

_Asuka is fine. She is very worried for you and Rei, but unhurt. _

_Rei is... alive. I couldn't get much out of Doctor Akagi, who sedated Rei and took her to her lab. They've been there ever since. Try not to worry. I don't think Ritsuko will hurt her. _

_Kaworu-kun is hurt too. They've got him on painkillers and are keeping him at the hospital for now. He's conscious and talking to Asuka and Hikari-chan, but seemed a bit depressed. I think he feels like he failed to adequately defend Rei. He said he's looking forward to seeing you and her again when he gets out of the hospital, though. _

_Don't worry about the essay I told you to write. The next several pages are the essay, pre-written for you by your favorite redhead. I'm sure she did a good job. She was very motivated once I explained it was part of getting you back soon. She said you'll pay her back once you're home. She then winked, so I can guess what she's thinking. _

_Please wait for a night I'm out with Kaji? You two are __**loud**__. Why did I agree to let you two sleep together again?_

_Copy the essay over into your handwriting on the pad. I'll show that to the Commander when I talk to him about your punishment. I'm trying to play up the 'childish defiance' angle, and get him to let me handle this as your guardian. I figure it's the safest play. Don't get into an argument with him about this. If he's as angry and frightened over your mother as I think, he could snap at you and try... I don't know, but I bet we won't like it. So stay cool. _

_Asuka wrote you a letter too, since she couldn't be with you. I'll try to keep her from feeling too alone tonight. _

_Given how much Asuka giggled while writing your letter, please copy the essay first, since I'm sure whatever she wrote will distract you. _

_Stay calm, stay quiet, and we'll get you home as soon as we can. _

_Misato_

Shinji carefully paged through the rest of the sheets. He recognized Asuka's still slightly awkward script on the next bunch of pages, with two at the end noticeably not part of the word essay. Knowing he wouldn't be able to pay attention properly once he had his beloved's letter to read, he dutifully began copying the essay first, keeping the sheets in the book like he was poring over the regulations as he wrote.

He barely notice the 'food' delivered on a tray a little while later, and ate it without tasting. He finished copying and tucked the essay into the book's front, and finally allowed himself to read Asuka's letter.

_Dearest Baka Mine,_

_You are such an idiot._

_And I love you. Idiot._

_Being the stupid hero, saving the girl..._

_Right now I am incredibly worried for you and Rei, pissed as Hell at your stupid asshole father, and frustrated that you're not here to hold me and make me feel better. _

_Also, missing our traditional post-victory sex. Damn it._

_I just solo-killed the Angel. That ties me with you. Right now, we should be in our bed, you flat on your back, and me-_

Shinji blushed and swallowed. His plugsuit suddenly felt awkwardly tight in places. He read the next couple paragraphs of _vividly_ detailed description of what Asuka wanted to do with him with increasing speed.

_-until you can't walk. And then we'll do it again after you make me another delicious dinner. _

_Have I mentioned yet today that I love your cooking? And your music. And your nice, thick-_

His plugsuit got uncomfortable again. A couple more interesting paragraphs followed.

_-all night. And then fall asleep in your arms. _

_...I love you. You're stuck in that cell because you defied your asshole father in order to save the girl we both love. You are a stupid damn hero every time one of us is in danger, and I love you so damn much, Shinji. Don't ever stop being you. _

_I'm going to hate tonight. I'll have your shirt and pillow in our bed, but it won't be the same. I miss you, want you, and need you. Do what Misato tells you, and get back to me right away. I don't like spending any nights alone and worrying about you or Rei. I'll forgive you this one because it was for saving her, but you get your warm, cuddly butt back here tomorrow, or I'll... be upset with you. _

_Think of me at 2230. I'll be lying in bed, picturing you next to me. You do the same, and it'll be enough, for tonight._

_I love you._

_Asuka_

Shinji wiped at his eyes. Falling asleep every night holding Asuka was the greatest thing in the world. The way she'd smile, so softly and gently when he kissed her goodnight... Tonight was going to be hard without it.

He read the letter six or seven more times, trying to memorize it. He read Misato's again before regretfully tearing it up and flushing it away. When he was done pretending to go to the toilet for that, he tucked Asuka's letter inside his plugsuit, unable to rip up her so far first and only actual love letter to him.

He laid down on the bunk and touched where the letter was hidden under his plugsuit. He tried to picture Asuka in his arms, and closed his eyes.

_'Stay calm, stay quiet, agree to whatever he says, and get home... I can do that. I have to.'_

2230 came and went. Sleep took a long time to come.

.

* * *

.

Misato was nearly bowled off her feet as she entered the kitchen. A charging Second Child almost rammed her back into the entry hall.

"Is he ok?! Did you see him? Did you give him the letter?! Is he alright? What about Rei? Did you get to see he-" Asuka blasted out in one breath.

"Asuka! Asuka! Stop!" Misato waved her hands in front of her. "Calm down! I just got in and I'm _tired_."

Asuka visibly throttled herself back and nodded. "Just... fine. Come in. Welcome home and all that Japanese stuff." Asuka suddenly turned and dashed to the fridge, returning a second later with a can. "Here's your 'welcome home' beer. Now... Is he ok?"

Misato rolled her eyes and cracked the can open. "He's fine. He was pissed off about being in the cell, but he's not hurt at all. I gave him a little lecture and hinted at the book. I'm sure he's read my letter and yours by now. Rei... I couldn't get anything on her but a single terse message from Rits. All she said was she's treating Rei over night, and she'll deliver her tomorrow."

Hikari stuck her head in from the living room. "Ah, hello, Major Katsuragi. Welcome home."

"Hello, Hikari-chan." Misato raised an eyebrow at Asuka. "They staying for dinner?" she asked, a little archly.

Asuka looked to the side. "I didn't want to be alone, alright? You, Rei, Shinji... everyone stuck down in the Geofront all evening. I didn't want to just sit here worrying. So I invited them over."

Misato's eyebrow rose further. "You invited _both_ of them?"

"I invited Hikari to come home with me. She asked if she could bring her gorilla. I couldn't say no."

Misato snorted and took a sip of her beer. "That's fine, Asuka. I can't really begrudge you that. You just killed the Angel, so you get a pass on things tonight."

"I want my boyfriend back home, instead of rotting in a cell because he's a hero and his father's an ass," Asuka muttered. "It's his night to cook, too. I want my victory dinner and bedtime."

Misato gave her second ward a sad look. Asuka was trying for her old fire, but it was a pale echo of what she used to sport. She could hear the naked longing for Shinji in her voice.

Misato sniffed. "I still smell dinner?"

Asuka shrugged and crossed her arms, looking away again. "Shinji left some stuff prepared for tonight, and I started cooking. It's what he'd have done. Closest thing I could do to him being here. Hikari helped."

Misato gave her a tired smile. "Thanks, Asuka. I'm going to go change. You three dish up dinner while I do?"

Asuka nodded. "Shinji's going to cook tomorrow _and_ the next day to make up for this," she said firmly. "He owes me lots of meals-to-order. He promised. I'm... going to be annoyed if he isn't back tomorrow."

Misato patted her on the shoulder as she headed to her room. "I know, Asuka. We'll get him back. This is home, and you know he won't let anything keep him away from you for long."

Asuka didn't smile. "He better. That idiot." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "My idiot."

.

* * *

.

The triple cuffs were back around his wrists. And again, his father required him to stand a good 20 meters back from his desk, like he was afraid of what might happen if he let Shinji any closer.

_'All skinny 51 kg of me is going to Hulk out, snap three sets of handcuffs, leap 20 meters, and attack my father, who is 35cm taller and stronger. Right. Paranoid much, __**father**__? At least this time they let me shower and change out of my plugsuit first.'_

Shinji waited, glaring at his father, trying to push as much anger and fire out his eyes as possible. So far, though, he had failed to make his father's head explode. He kept trying.

The silence dragged on. It was at least two minutes before Gendo suddenly said, "Why are you here?"

Shinji fought not to scowl. "Because I am of _use_ to you. As the Pilot of Unit-01," he said, calm but bitter.

"Correct. And a Pilot who cannot follow orders is not useful."

"I protected my friends and helped defeat the Angel," Shinji shot back.

"Disobeying orders, personal occupation of an Eva, childish intimidation... These are all criminal offenses. Do you have anything to say?"

Shinji bit down on his rising anger. His father's tone hadn't shifted at all. "Rei was screaming. She needed help. I know you've rushed to save her before too!"

Gendo was silent, staring back. "Rei would agree with me that you should have followed orders. She is aware of the risks of being a Pilot. If I had ordered her not to deploy in similar circumstances, she would have obeyed. You failed to do so."

_'You don't know her at all, father. She'd have done the same for me or Asuka, I know it.'_ Shinji kept his face as calm as possible. He knew he was failing to keep all the anger off it. He wanted to scream at him, but Misato's advice kept popping up. "Yes, sir," he bit out.

"Your responsibility is to follow orders and Pilot Unit-01 as directed. You have no idea what that Angel might have done to Unit-01. You have no right to risk vital assets to the world's defense on your personal whims," the Commander of NERV said coldly. "You will not be allowed to disobey orders again. Extra systems are being installed in Unit-01 to ensure this."

Shinji stamped down on the urge to scream at his father's hypocrisy. _'My personal whims?! MINE?! You ordered me not to help Rei because I might risk __**mother**__!'_ "Vital assets," Shinji echoed.

"You will follow all orders from now on to the letter. Major Katsuragi has assured me she will be taking further disciplinary measures once you leave here. Since you have decided to act as a petulant child, you will be treated as one. You pay for this month and the next is reduced by half, and any disciplinary lapses of any degree will result in confinement to the brig. Do you understand?"

Shinji grit his teeth. "Yes, sir."

"Let me be clear, Third Child: Any insubordination will result in serious measures. If you are unreliable, I have no use for you. I will send you away before I let you unnecessarily risk Unit-01 again. I have five Pilots and four Evangelions now. If you are not of use, you are superfluous."

Shinji's fists clenched. "I will follow orders. I do not wish to leave. I am the Pilot of Unit-01."

"Then you will do as you are ordered. Or I will separate you and the Second Child permanently."

Shinji's heart stopped. He felt all the blood drain out of his face. "W-what?! I... we... I don't know what you-"

"I am aware of everything that happens in NERV and Tokyo-3. Security teams have you under constant guard. Did you really think you and the Second Child could conceal what you are doing from me?" His father didn't sound amused. His low, cold tone was unchanged. "I have been aware of your infatuation with her for some time. If you disobey orders in battle one more time, you will never see her again."

_'No no no no no no! Don't take her away don't take her away no no no!' _Shinji's head swam. He felt his skin go cold. "I... I... don't... don't separate...us. I will follow orders."

A sliver of a smirk appeared on the Commander's face. "Good. You have no idea how important Unit-01 is to NERV's mission. You will do nothing that jeopardizes that. Unit-01 is your mother's ultimate work. You will respect that."

Suddenly, Shinji's anger roared back in, wiping away the shock that had paralyzed him. Every word of caution Misato had tried to impress on him fled as well. "Re..respect... mother's work?" he growled. "_You took her from me!_"

Gendo went even more still. "I did not. The Contact Experiment was an unforeseen disaster."

"Then why did you destroy all her pictures?! I can't even remember her face! I have nothing! You took everything!" His voice broke. "Why?!"

His father was motionless as a statue. "...You cannot possibly understand. Leave."

"Why did you do it?! Why?!" Shinji demanded.

"Go." Gendo dipped on hand below the edge of his desk and pressed a button.

The door to the office silently opened behind Shinji and a hulking Section 2 guard entered and dropped a hard hand on Shinji's shoulder. "You have been dismissed. You are leaving."

_"You took her away from me!_" Shinji shouted over his shoulder one more time.

Gendo's glasses glowed in the shadows at the far end of the room.

.

* * *

.

The Section 2 guards said almost nothing as they drove him home. This time they didn't even remove the cuffs until they arrived at the apartment door.

"You are hereby confined to your quarters, Pilot Ikari, until Major Katsuragi arrives. Then you are under her orders," The one not opening his cuffs said. "You are not to leave or attempt to communicate with anyone without her authorization. Understood."

Shinji gave them a sullen look, but nodded. He fished his keycard out of his pocket and opened the door. It closed behind him with a hiss, and he faintly heard they footsteps of the guards leaving.

He sighed, and headed for the kitchen. They hadn't bothered with breakfast, so he-

-would get tackled halfway into the kitchen by a charging redhead. "SHINJI!" He was abruptly smothered in kisses and a fervent embrace. Eventually Asuka pulled back enough to say, "Welcome home! _Gott_, I've been worried! Are you ok? I love you! Where's Rei? Did you see her?"

Shinji just held on to her and shook, burying his face in her neck. "I'm home," he said weakly. "I'm ok. But... we've got trouble."

"Trouble?" Asuka searched his face. "What now?"

"He knows. About us."

Asuka paled. "Oh... _Scheiße_..."

.

* * *

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Author's Note, 13DEC16: Returned to the United States, finally, but this has thrown my regular writing time into the air, so updates may be even more erratic for a while. To make up for it a bit, here's the second update in a week, 6k words for you all. The secret Shinji and Asuka have been trying to hide for so long is blown, and now Gendo knows he can use it against them.

And writing now: Rei and Kaworu have a tense homecoming talk in the next update.


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